April 3, 2014

Don’t you love London time? I’m in the middle of my morning here, at quarter to 10 AM and the rest of you lucky bastards are still asleep. Boo! Anyway 😛

Aurora Dawning has been updated through Day 5. There are two parts left, so this story will be finished on Saturday, and for the first time in many moons, all stories I’ve written and that still exist will be archived in one place.

I’ve started posting the new revised version of Daughters, so the first two chapters of that are up. I am nearly finished with the next two chapters, and may post them over the weekend or early next week.

Chapter Four of A Few Words Too Many is posted. The next new chapter is due on Monday.

In case you missed it, little Elizabeth ficlet, I Love The Way You Lie.

My writing and posting may slow a bit, as I have a lot to get ready for this month. I have a 13 page paper due on the influence of cosmopolitanism principles on early international law (which is about as much as fun as it sounds), and it’s due at the end of the month, along with a 15 minute German presentation. Oy. I also still have to write this silly dissertation due in September.

This entry is part 2 of 19 in the Daughters

Oh, you see that skin?
It’s the same she’s been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she’s left
Cleaning up the mess he made
– Daughters, John Mayer

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Robin twirled the gilded invitation in her hands. “So Christmas Eve at the Haunted Star.” She glanced over at Elizabeth, who was studiously making notations in her chart. “You going?”

“Never miss it,” Elizabeth replied. “Em and I only won enough money to pay our bar tab last year, so I’m ditching her.” She set down her pen and eyed Robin. “How much do you think my brother and father are going to explode when they find out I’m going with Jason this year?”

Robin set the invitation on the counter and blinked at her. “You’re going to have to enter Witness Protection, Ellie. They are going to freak—”

“Well, I don’t care.” Elizabeth folded her arms across her chest, and set her lips in a mutinous line. “Jason’s amazing with numbers and I want to have a good time.”

“Uh huh…” Robin tapped her fingers on the chart in front of her. “So, is this like a date?” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. “What happened to just friends?”

“We are completely platonic.”

“Right,” Robin drawled. She pressed a finger to her chin and pretended to look confused. “Tell me, has he filled out working for Sonny? I remember Jay was relatively well-built, but I imagine all that heavy lifting has led to some…changes.”

Elizabeth’s cheeks blazed with color and looked back at her charts. “He looks healthy,” she mumbled.

Robin smirked and came closer to Elizabeth. “I remember Jay had the most beautiful blue eyes. Patrick was lucky I saw him first. Does he still have those eyes?”

“And the most beautiful smile,” Elizabeth said without thinking.

“Whose smile?”

The third voice broke the two out of their fun. Robin wrinkled her nose. Not once since she’d returned the week before had she and Patrick had a decent conversation. He was still bitter about the way she’d broken up with him, though she didn’t understand it. They’d both been unhappy before she’d left. “No one—”

“Wasn’t talking to you,” Patrick held up a hand. “I have decided that the best way to preserve the peace is just to pretend you’re not there.”

Robin narrowed her eyes. “Well, that sounds good to me, you son of—”

“Patrick,” Elizabeth interrupted. “Don’t you have rounds?” She raised an eyebrow. “Go be a doctor.”

Patrick saw the invitation Robin had discarded on the counter in front of him and raised his eyes back to them. Suspicion filled his dark eyes. “Ellie, who are you going to the party with? Emily?”

“Um…” Elizabeth hesitated, which was clearly all that Patrick needed. He closed his eyes and started to shake his head, as if bitterly disappointed in her.

Robin wasn’t sure if she should leap to Elizabeth’s defense, or stay out of the argument. Maybe Patrick had a point—if they could just ignore each other for a while, he’d get used to seeing her around the hospital…and then they could lean to co-exist. She just wasn’t sure how long she had before she had to tell everyone the truth.

“Robin.” She snapped to when she realized Patrick was looking at her, almost beseechingly. “Can you please explain to my sister that hanging around criminals is a bad thing? Your parents are in law enforcement—”

“I am just…” She held up her hands in surrender. “I don’t want to get in the middle of this.” She picked up her charts and cast her friend an apologetic look. “I’m going to do my rounds.” As she stepped out of the station, she heard Patrick muttering something. She whirled around. “What the hell did you just say?”

“I said go ahead and run,” Patrick repeated, the anger bleeding from his words. “We know you hate hanging around when things are tough. So go do what you do best—”

“You’re such a bastard—” Robin stopped and closed her eyes. Without another word, she stalked away. She wasn’t going to get caught up in another Patrick Drake tirade and remind herself why she’d left Port Charles in the first place.

Harborview Towers: Sonny Corinthos’ Penthouse

The rumors about Sonny Corinthos were generally correct. He lived in a penthouse in the most expensive and posh building in downtown Port Charles with windows were made of bulletproof glass and armed guards at his door. He had a smile that was equal parts wicked and charm and a dimple that set many hearts a flutter. There was a crackle of danger around him—something that told the casual visitor that while he might seem completely focused on you, there was a part of his mind that was planning his next criminal activity.

He was, after all, the notorious crime lord in the area, controlling all of Port Charles and the surrounding areas. He controlled the drugs (of which there was little), the prostitution (a lamentable but necessary enterprise), the gambling (only Luke’s casino was exempt out of friendship) and of course, the smuggling of contraband through their warehouses located on the docks. He ran Port Charles with an iron fist and the only reason that Commissioner Robert Scorpio hadn’t brought him down yet was through the legal expertise of Sonny’s brother, Ric Lansing.

But for all of his crimes and all of his dangerous tendencies, Sonny was a good man. A family man, wildly in love with his wife Brenda and a loyal friend to those he took under his wing.

He liked to think of Jason Morgan as his friend, as someone to look out for and protect. He’d given Jason a legitimate job parking cars at Luke’s but he’d seen that the younger man was hungry for something more. Not for power or for violence like some men in their business, but for a sense of self-worth—something that been stolen when AJ Quartermaine had crashed his car and sent his brother into a coma that eventually wiped his memory.

And so, against his better judgment, he gave Jason a few courier jobs. He’d cautioned Jason not to tell anyone that he was moving up in the organization and Jason had agreed, even keeping it from his only friend, Elizabeth Drake. His loyalty to Sonny would always come first and that was the first lesson he’d learned in this business.

And now, Sonny was standing in the living room of his penthouse, sipping bourbon and preparing to give Jason an even more important job. Despite his age and his inexperience, Jason had keen instincts and he could spot a liar and a cheat from a mile away.

“Ruiz is going to be at the Haunted Star on Christmas Eve,” Sonny remarked. “He received an invitation from Luke at my request.” He sipped his drink. “I need a public meeting so that if it becomes necessary, I can say we had a friendly relationship.”

“Will it become necessary?” Jason asked, not out of disrespect but genuine curiosity so Sonny answered him. Hector Ruiz had long been one of Sonny’s associates, part of the network and Ruiz had run the drugs in Port Charles since even before Sonny came to power.

“If he continues pushing the drugs to the kids, then yeah,” Sonny nodded slowly, “it’ll be necessary. I would like you to be present at this meeting. I want your opinion on Hector Ruiz and whether you think he’s going to make a play for the territory or if he’s just overstepping his bounds.”

Jason hesitated and rubbed the back of his neck, feeling uncomfortable now. “I was already going,” he admitted. “Elizabeth asked me.”

Sonny nodded. “Good, good. It’s only going to be fifteen minutes out of the evening. Just make sure she doesn’t know.”

“I can’t—” Jason shook his head. “I won’t lie to her.”

The one drawback to Jason Morgan was his inability to lie. Or his refusal to be anything less than brutally honest. It was, in fact, the only flaw. Sonny pressed his lips together in disapproval. Honesty would not get him far in this business but neither was he going to stamp out what could be a useful trait in some instances. “You don’t have to lie. Just don’t answer the question.”

Not understanding that piece of advice, Jason chose not to pursue the topic. “Is that everything?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Sonny checked the clock on his desk. “Brenda will be back from the club any minute so we’re done for now.” He grinned. “Picking Elizabeth up from work? Again?”

Jason shifted and looked away. “She likes the motorcycle,” he admitted. “And it’s going to snow this week so I figure we should get one last ride in before that.”

“She’s a nice girl,” Sonny remarked.

“I guess.”

Knowing that Jason wouldn’t elaborate beyond the point—more because he couldn’t explain the friendship between himself and the nurse, Sonny didn’t press and Jason left, somewhat relieved. He’d do almost anything for Sonny, but talking about his friendship with Elizabeth was one of the few subjects they hadn’t broached much.

It was an odd friendship, to be sure. Born from the days he’d still been in the hospital and she still a nursing student. She had known Jason Quartermaine and had been friends with him, as well as Jason Quartermaine’s adopted sister Emily. But after the first few visits, her smile hadn’t been so sad and he stopped thinking that she was pretending he was the guy he used to be.

She had been supportive when he’d chosen to move into a room above Jake’s, a seedy bar on the docks rather than returning to Jason Quartermaine’s room at the Quartermaine estate. And she hadn’t tried to talk him out of working for Sonny, even though Jason could tell Elizabeth was uncomfortable with the idea. And she wasn’t afraid to be seen with him, wasn’t afraid to join him for motorcycle rides, no matter how fast he took the curves of the road.

He had long ago grasped the concept of best friend and had fit Sonny into that slot but whatever he had with Elizabeth was different and harder to define. He wondered what she’d say about them. If they were best friends or something more—which led to thoughts that, quite frankly, he wasn’t ready for.

General Hospital: Break Room

Emily tossed a book of invitations onto a stack of other wedding books. “I changed my mind,” she remarked. “I think we should go to Vegas.”

Robin laughed and set her medical journal aside. “Well, Vegas has its charm. But Nikolas being a prince and all, I don’t think he’s going to see it that way.”

Emily huffed. “You make a good point. But planning a wedding when your own family hates the groom is the opposite of fun.” She bit her lip and looked down.

“Edward still holding on to that?” Robin asked.

“Yes,” Emily admitted. “He offered to pay at first, but he kept changing his mind and resetting the date, and refused to make any decisions, so I knew he was just using it keep me from Nikolas. It’s a complete nightmare, Robin.”

“Ah, yes, a complete nightmare. Marrying the man of your dreams and becoming a princess,” Robin said dryly. “You poor girl, I should send flowers. Edward loves you, he’ll come around.”

Rather than discuss her grandfather’s threats to disown her if she went through the wedding, she forced a smile on her face. She rolled up one of her bridal magazines and smacked Robin with it. “You’re no help. You’re supposed to commiserate with me.”

“Is that my line?” Robin replied with a laugh. “I didn’t get the script change.” She shrugged. “Just tell Lila.”

“I don’t want to burden my grandmother with more of Grandfather’s shenanigans,” Emily sighed. “She’s still heartbroken about the rift with Jason. She’s the only one he bothers to talk to in the family but he can’t come around with the family constantly hanging about. I wish things were different.” Her eyes filled with shadows and she looked away. “I wish it was like it used to be. Before the accident, before AJ started drinking and you and Patrick were happy and Ellie and Patrick’s mom was still alive.” She shook her head. “Nothing feels the same anymore.”

“Yeah,” Robin murmured, “they seem to be okay though.” She shifted in her seat, probably uncomfortable because she’d left for Paris mere months after Mattie Drake had succumbed to cancer after a long sickness, which Emily had never understood but to each their own. “I didn’t think Noah would ever be okay again.”

“It was rough,” Emily admitted. “I’m sure Ellie’s told you, but Noah was drinking for about a year—worse than AJ’s addiction ever was.”

Robin frowned. “No, she never said anything about it. She was upset for a while about how I left, I guess. But Noah looks good now—”

“Well, it hit rock bottom before it started to get better,” Emily remarked. “Patrick moved out and refused to talk to Noah. And then Ellie was left to hold the family together because those two are so damn stubborn. Anyway, Noah was in a car accident and the judge sentenced him to mandatory rehab. He’s been supposedly sober ever since, so he and Patrick are trying to get back to normal. They only agree on on subject–terrorizing Ellie.”

“I didn’t know any of that,” Robin said softly. “But I had my own stuff going on. I wouldn’t have been able to come back.”

Emily’s eyes narrowed. “What kind of stuff?” she asked curiously.

Robin’s eyes cleared and she shook her head. “I have to do another set of rounds before my shifts over. Don’t let Edward get you down, Em.” She stood and shoved her medical journal into her locker before exiting the room.

General Hospital: Parking Lot

Elizabeth emerged from the building, rubbing the side of her face and tugging her jacket tight over her scrubs. She had been too tired to head to the locker room after her shift and change.

From beginning to end, it had been an extraordinarily hellish shift. She’d lost two patients on her floor and had had to inform each of the families. And then she’d found Robin and Patrick arguing bitterly over one of Noah’s cases—Robin was advocating drug therapy and Patrick, of course, surgery. Elizabeth had attempted to mediate but Patrick had told her to go away and too annoyed with him, she’d obeyed.

Lulu had tried to plead with her to step in Epiphany and get her off bedpan duty and had been irritated when Elizabeth was unable to help and to make matters worse, Emily’s grandfather had shown up for a meeting of the board of directors and had started an argument with Nikolas Cassadine in the lobby, which she’d just escaped from.

She just wanted to go to her tiny apartment, draw a bath and soak in it for the rest of her life. And maybe find a new family and set of friends that were less stressful.

She started towards the parking spot where her beaten up Volvo was situated and stopped dead in her tracks. All her exhaustion, her misery and her plans for the evening evaporated in an instant.

Jason was there, and he had his motorcycle. Elizabeth couldn’t help the smile that stretched from ear to ear.

He held out a helmet. “Cliff road or home?” he asked.

Not caring that they’d planned on going on the ride later, that she’d wanted to go home and shower first or that she had briefly entertained thoughts of canceling altogether, Elizabeth grabbed the helmet and shoved it over hair, fixing the strap. “Cliff road,” she said immediately.

She’d figure out how to get to work the next morning later.

General Hospital: Lobby

Emily collapsed on the couch and buried her face in her hands as she listed to Edward Quartermaine berate Nikolas Cassadine for his latest decision in how funding for the hospital would be distributed. Too much free care, Edward had barked. Too much charity.

Nikolas calmly took all that Edward had to offer before reminding the board member that the Cassadine family had bailed General Hospital out of an embarrassing bankruptcy and now Nikolas had the final say in all financial decisions. That had been the agreement Stefan Cassadine and Steve Hardy had brokered a decade before.

Nothing angered Edward more than being reminded he had no real control and that set off another tirade about the untrustworthiness of the Cassadine family in general. Emily managed tune most of the specifics out but when Edward had blustered that it’d be a cold day in hell before Nikolas married into their family, Emily leapt up.

“Grandfather, that’s enough. Really.” She planted her hands on her hips. “You don’t have any say in the matter. I’m twenty-five years old—”

“You deserve better than this pack of loons,” Edward cut in. “My dear—”

“If you don’t knock it off, Grandfather, I’m going to tell Grandmother you’re harping on Nikolas again,” Emily threatened. “You know how she hates that.”

Edward shut his mouth and glared at his youngest grandchild. “Emily Paige Bowen-Quartermaine—”

“Oh, shut it, Grandfather,” Emily rolled her eyes. “I have had it up to here with the way you treat Nikolas. He has been nothing but perfectly respectful to you and you continue—”

“Emily,” Nikolas interrupted calmly, placing a hand on his fiancée’s forearm. “This isn’t necessary.”

“I’ll see you at home, young lady,” Edward said gruffly. “Nikolas—”

“Yes, I know—I’m a spendthrift and I’m far too generous with everyone’s money,” Nikolas nodded. “Message received, Mr. Quartermaine.”

Edward walked away and when he was on the elevators, Emily let out a sigh of relief. “I’ll talk to Grandmother about reining him—”

“It isn’t necessary,” Nikolas repeated. He framed her face in his hands and kissed the tip of her nose. “The Quartermaines have just as bad a history with my family as the Scorpios and the Spencers. Your grandfather will never forgive my family for what happened to his sister.”

“It’s so unfair,” Emily protested. “We weren’t even born yet!”

“I know,” Nikolas nodded. “But this isn’t something we can change.” His hands slid from her face down her arms until he grasped her hands. “But it is something we’re going to have to live with. Are you ready for that?”

“Well…” Emily pursed her lips. “Are our families magically going to get along if we break off our engagement and spend the rest of our lives miserable?” she asked, trying to keep the mood light.

Nikolas grinned and shook his head. “Probably not.”

“Well, then we should probably stick to Plan A,” Emily decided. “At least, then we get to be happy.”

“Marginally happy,” Nikolas corrected. “Cassadines don’t do happy.”

“Bowens do,” Emily nodded firmly. “And since you’re also marrying into that family, then you have a responsibility to live up to that.”

“You know how seriously I take responsibility,” Nikolas remarked soberly. He leaned forward and brushed his lips over hers. “Too tired for dinner?”

“Too tired for dinner anywhere more fancy than Kelly’s.”

General Hospital: Lab

Robin rubbed her eyes and slid another slide under her microscope. The door to the lab swung open. “Are those my results for Ren Lewis?” she called out, not glancing up.

“Ren Lewis needs surgery, but no,” Patrick remarked, sitting at the stool across from her work station.

Robin looked up now and sighed. She was too tired to think about going another round with him today. “I thought you were done for the day after that last surgery? Are you here just to plague me?”

“I like to stick around,” Patrick remarked, ignoring her second question. “You never know when they’ll need a surgical intern.” He reached for the file she was working on. “This guy’s liver is almost nonexistent.”

“Yeah,” Robin sighed. “I have to let Monica know that in the morning when she comes on shift.” She coughed. “This guy basically drank himself to death.” She watched him as she said it, hoping he might mention his own father’s problems.

“Hmm…” Patrick tossed the folder aside. “Takes all kinds. I like a good beer now and then but…” he shrugged. “Some people just don’t know any better.”

“When you sees something like this…” Robin shook her head. “It makes you wonder what would make a person—” she closed her eyes and stopped. “I heard about Noah. And what he went through.”

“That’s over with,” Patrick shook his head. “He says he’s sober and it doesn’t matter anymore.”

Robin didn’t believe that but she didn’t want to push. “Be that as it may,” she said slowly, “I do want to apologize. I—I didn’t know things were so bad here. I wouldn’t have been able to come back but—”

“You chose to leave, Robin,” Patrick said shortly. “And you chose not to talk to anyone here except your parents. So don’t blame Ellie for not confiding about our dad.”

Stung, Robin could only shake her head. “No—I didn’t—I know I cut myself off—” she sighed, frustrated. “I just wanted say that I was sorry, okay?”

“Why pretend you give a damn?” Patrick responded. “You didn’t care enough to stick around after my mother died. You just took off to Paris with no warning and never bothered to keep in touch—”

“Why stick around?” Robin cut in sharply. “You wouldn’t talk to me. You didn’t want to deal with anything. And—” she shut up abruptly, remembering that she’d never told anyone about that night. “It was a long time ago, Patrick. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

“Why you’d even come back?” he demanded. He stood and shoved the stool in roughly. “You abandoned me, you left Ellie high and dry and you waltzed around Paris for three years while our lives fell apart around us and now you come back like nothing’s changed? Go to hell.”

“You don’t know a damn thing about my life in Paris,” Robin snarled. She shoved her files aside and stood as well. She stalked around the workstation and jabbed a finger at his chest. “You think I was high on life and living it up? Well, screw you, Patrick!”

She whirled around and started putting her materials away. She had to take deep breaths to keep the sobs from bursting through her chest. She’d locked it away all day, she’d thought being home, being away from it all would change things.

But it was still nearly midnight and on December 22, 2005, it would be exactly one year since her entire life had shattered.

Patrick frowned and watched her hands shake as she put away her slides and her research. “What the hell is the matter with you?”

“Just go away,” Robin said shortly. She reached for a folder and in her haste, she knocked over a box of glass beakers. It careened to the floor and all the little tubes flew out, shattering into shards.

Robin sank to knees and started to clean them up, not even realizing that she’d started to cry. Stunned, Patrick joined her and reached for her hand. “Robin, we can call maintenance—”

A particularly jagged shard pieced through her skin and Robin hissed in pain. “Damn it—”

Patrick reached for her hand and that’s when Robin really lost it. She scrambled back on her knees and nearly fell over trying to get away from him. “No, no, don’t touch me!”

“Fine.” Patrick stood and glared at her. “I’m sorry I disgust you, Robin. I’ll go find a janitor to clean this mess up.” He turned and stalked out of the lab, the sound of Robin’s soft sobs ringing in his ears.

Spencer House: Living Room

Lulu gingerly stepped past the front threshold, carefully closing the door behind her. She winced when the floorboards on the landing squeaked. She started for the stairs but then a light snapped on to reveal Laura Spencer sitting calmly on the couch. Crap. Could this day get any worse? Wasn’t it bad enough she’d just had to fight with Will Drake for nearly an hour about breaking up? Maybe she shouldn’t have had sex with him first, but she thought it would put him in a better mood.

And as if the night couldn’t get any worse, there was her mother. Waiting for her.

Lulu sighed. “I know what you’re going to say but Dillon was helping me with—”

“Dillon called at six o’clock,” Laura interrupted. “You left your history book at the Quartermaines.”

Damn it. Why did Dillon have to be so damn responsible and reliable all the time? Lulu let out an impatient huff. “Okay, so I wasn’t with Dillon. What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal, Lesley Lu, is that you have a curfew,” Laura responded. “And each time you break it, we move it back fifteen minutes. Pretty soon, you won’t be seeing the light of day.”

“Lucky never had a curfew,” Lulu grumbled, folding her arms across her chest and glaring at her mother. “It’s not fair.”

“Lucky didn’t need a curfew,” Laura replied. “We trusted Lucky to be home and to tell us where he was going, what he was doing, who he was with.” Laura cast a look over Lulu’s rumpled clothing and messy hair and sighed softly. Her little girl had been so sweet and loving and somehow, she’d morphed into this angry girl. “Lu—”

“If you think for one second that Lucky and Elizabeth weren’t out doing the same exact thing I was tonight, then you’re more naïve than I figured you’d be,” Lulu said shortly. “I’m seventeen years old, Mom. I’m not a child.”

“No, I don’t suppose you are.” Laura felt a thousand years old all of sudden. She stood and snapped off the light, sending the room into shadows and darkness again. “Go to bed, Lesley Lu. We’ll discuss this in morning.”

Lulu watched her mother go up the stairs and sighed again. She was forever disappointing her family. She wasn’t cool enough for her father, wasn’t obedient enough for her mother and wasn’t old enough to really be involved in her brothers’ lives. When would be who she was already enough?

Just wait until they found out she was pregnant and had just broken up with the father.

Vista Point

Elizabeth tugged off the helmet and sighed happily. “When you picked me up a few hours ago,” she began, “I was so tired and all I wanted to do was sleep for like the rest of my life.”

“You should have said something,” Jason said immediately. “I would have taken you home.”

Elizabeth hopped off the bike and leaned out over the railing. Vista Point over looked the entire town of Port Charles and she could even see clear out to Spoon Island, the night was so clear. “I’m going hate the snow,” she sighed. “We won’t be able to take the cliff roads until winter’s over.”

“Price you pay for living in upstate New York,” Jason replied. He set the kickstand on the bike and joined her at the railing. “So rough day then?”

Elizabeth turned and leaned against the railing, her back to the view. “Well, we started with a round of Patrick vs. Robin and then kind of spiraled from there.” She glanced at him. “Have I ever told you the history between my brother and Robin?”

“Only that there is one,” Jason replied. “You never liked to talk about her much.”

“Hmm…well, that’s because she left town like three months after my mother died,” Elizabeth admitted. “I was so angry about it for a long time but I know Patrick took Mom’s death really hard, so I tried to shove it down and forget about it. I mean, you know what happened with my dad but Patrick…” she looked away and shook her head. “Patrick and Jason Quartermaine were best friends,” she said after a long moment. “I don’t think I told you that before. They were pre-med together and were almost as close as brothers. And they had a lot in common.”

Jason liked the way Elizabeth spoke about Jason Quartermaine, liked that she referred to him as a separate person, as someone who didn’t exist anymore. She understood that he was a different person now and reminders that he’d once been someone else were uncomfortable. “So I guess he took the accident pretty badly.”

“Yeah…it was one thing after another for a while. Mom got sick and then she died,” Elizabeth said softly. “My father started drinking and then Robin left for Paris. Then Patrick lost his best friend and Dad’s drinking just got worse…” she exhaled softly. “But he was once a very sweet, funny and open person. I know you might not believe that but he resents you for not being Jason Quartermaine. He resents that you didn’t wake up and remember everything that came before.” She shook her head again.

“Anyway. Patrick and Robin dated for, like, ever. They got together junior year in high school and for six years, it was Patrick and Robin, Robin and Patrick, you know? But after Mom died, he just…he shut down. And whatever happened between him and Robin happened because of that, I can tell you that much. I used to blame Robin for leaving me at that moment. I mean, I still had Emily and for a while, I still had Jay. But Robin was like my sister.” She paused. “She was my sister.”

“But she’s back now,” Jason said.

“Yeah. And things are different. Patrick’s never going to be that guy again but it’s just so hard seeing him and Robin go at it because it used to be so different.” Elizabeth sighed wistfully. “It all used to be so different. When my mother was alive and when we were just kids…” she laughed. “When the worst thing in my life was breaking up with Lucky at Senior Prom. I miss that, sometimes.”

Elizabeth coughed and smiled at him, a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry to whine like that. You must think I’m so pathetic.”

“You sound like you had a bad day and you wanted to vent a little,” Jason corrected. “Nothing wrong with that.”

Elizabeth’s smile deepened. “I didn’t let myself admit that I was angry at Robin before. So…thank you.”

“All I did was listen,” Jason shrug.

“Sometimes…” Elizabeth glanced up at him, her cheeks flushing a little, “Sometimes that’s all you need to do. You’re a good listener, Jason. You just let me ramble until I come to my own conclusions and that’s nice.” She straightened. “So what did you do today?”

Jason shrugged. “I went to the club, did the books for the warehouse and the club. Met with Sonny. Did some work. And then picked you up.”

Elizabeth nodded. “How’s Sonny?” she inquired.

“Fine, fine.” Jason hesitated. “Brenda came in as I was leaving. She, ah, wanted to know if you wanted to come over for dinner before the party at the Haunted Star. She and Sonny are going.”

Dinner with Jason’s best friend and his wife. Elizabeth pursed her lips. With anyone else, she might have thought it meant something—that he was taking her to meet two people she knew was important to him, but more likely than not, Brenda had cornered him and he hadn’t known how to say no.

So she smiled at him. “Sure, sounds like fun.”

This entry is part 1 of 19 in the Daughters

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too
– Daughters, John Mayer

Saturday, December 15, 2005

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Lately, more often than she liked to admit, Elizabeth Drake wished that she were an only child. For the majority of her life, she had not minded her older brother—older by exactly eight minutes, which Patrick had never allowed her to forget. But these days…she would have been happier to have been a foundling left on a doorstep, freeing her from her brother and her father, who only agreed on one thing—why she should stay far away from Jason Morgan.

“You’re infuriating,” the brunette muttered as she shoved her brother out of her way. “How we shared the same womb for nine months without killing one other is beyond me.”

“Ellie, I don’t think you’re trying to see this from your brother’s point of view,” Noah Drake began, hesitantly.

“Of course you’d take his side,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. She shoved a chart into a slot and slammed her pen down with irritation. “Why can’t you ever once take my side?”

“Because I’m the favorite,” Patrick stated ironically. “Or, more likely, because Dad’s sucking up to me.” He leaned his elbows on the surface of counter and towered over his shorter twin.

“Patrick, I wish you could just let things go,” she said, exhausted by her entire life. “Aren’t you tired of being a jackass all the time?”

“It’s so nice that some things never change.”

The hesitant voice caused all three Drakes to turn around to find Robin Scorpio standing at the counter. Beside her, Elizabeth could feel her brother tensing up. “Robin,” Elizabeth said before he could say something awful. “You’re…you’re not in Paris.”

“Nope.” Robin slid her hands in her pockets of her jeans. “I was going to let you know before I got back, but…I just accepted a position in the pathology department, starting immediately.”

“Fabulous,” Patrick muttered, and Robin flicked an uncertain gaze at him. “The bright lights of Paris too much?” he all but snarled at her.

Robin took a deep breath, as if bracing herself or finding a well of patience. “I just wanted to be back home, with my family…and friends…” She looked at Elizabeth with some hesitation. “I think we’ve discovered what a crappy long-distance best friend I can be.”

Elizabeth glanced between her brother and his ex-girlfriend with some trepidation before smiling brightly. “Robin, please tell me you don’t have any plans right now because I have a break and I absolutely have to escape these two.”

“Do you want to grab some coffee?”

“God, yes.” Elizabeth tossed a dirty look at her twin and her father before following her friend to the elevators. “Thank God you’re coming home—” Elizabeth’s voice was cut off when they stepped into the elevator and the doors slid shut.

“Great, just what I need,” Patrick muttered, tapping his pen restlessly. He glanced at his father, before clearing his throat. “I have a consult—”

“Patrick, are you ever going to talk me when you’re sister’s not around?” Noah asked, slightly exasperated.

Patrick paused as he stepped down from the station. “The odds aren’t good. You can take my side over Ellie’s all you want, it’s not going to change things. The only thing we have in common is we both don’t want her hanging around Jason Morgan.”

General Hospital: Cafeteria

Elizabeth and Robin sat in silence, each stirring their respective drinks—Robin, coffee, and Elizabeth, hot chocolate. Finally, Elizabeth cleared her throat. “So, when did you get in?”

“Yesterday.” Robin shifted in her seat and sipped her coffee. “I was going to call, but…to be honest, I wasn’t sure you’d talk to me.”

Elizabeth pursed her lips for a long moment. “I’m thinking about it, but honestly, with the way you and Patrick imploded, I’m not surprised you cut your ties.”

“But I shouldn’t have with you,” Robin said softly. She reached over and gripped Elizabeth’s hand. “You were my best friend, not just the sister of my boyfriend. And I’m sorry.”

“It’d be easy to hold a grudge, but I already have enough people in my life that aren’t on good terms, I’m not in market to add more.” Elizabeth shrugged. “So why now?”

“I don’t know,” Robin hedged. “It just felt like I’d stayed away long enough.” She bit her lip. “So what were you guys arguing about?”

“Jason Morgan.” When Robin raised her eyebrows, Elizabeth continued. “After he woke up from his accident two years ago, he tried to deal with the Quartermaines, but I guess he just lacked Jay Quartermaine’s patience, and you know, Edward and Alan, even Monica, just kept pushing at him until he just walked out on them.”

“Emily wrote me a bit about it. She said that he really only talks to her and Lila, and occasionally Dillon if they cross paths. Sometimes, he says hello to Monica, but that’s rare.” Robin eyed her best friend. “And she said that you had been a major help to him. You were there when he woke up, and he’s really depended on you for friendship.”

“That’s all true,” Elizabeth admitted. “It gave me something to think about other than…my own life.” She sipped her hot chocolate. “But after a few months of parking cars at Luke’s club and keeping the books for the Haunted Star, Sonny Corinthos gave him a job at the warehouse.”

“Hence the Drake men being agitated,” Robin murmured. “Is that all Jason’s doing for him?”

“As far I know for sure.” Elizabeth sighed. “But from what I can glean from Jason, there’s…an opportunity to take on some more responsibilities. I think he’s acted as a courier, like Lucky used to do when we were in high school. Nothing overtly illegal, but maybe…” She shook her head. “I mean, we’re just friends, so it’s not a big deal.”

“Are you really just friends?” Robin pushed. “I mean, if he’s anything like Jay—”

“He’s not,” Elizabeth said quickly. “I mean, not in the ways that matter. Jay was sweet and compassionate, and he had that boundless patience with his insane family, which is probably where Emily learned it. But Jason Morgan…he’s…” she hesitated, searching for the right words. “He doesn’t let anyone close. He still has that patience, but you have to earn it.” Her words began to tumble from her lips as she grew agitated. “And the Quartermaines, my father, my brother…they look at him, and they see someone who’s less than they are, someone who’s brain damaged and isn’t a whole person—I hate the way people talk abot him, epsecially when they talk about him to his face like he’s not even there or he can’t understand—”

“Ellie…” Robin held up a hand. “Whoa. I’m not insinuating anything. I haven’t even met Jason Morgan. But, honey, if he’s hanging around Sonny Corinthis…” Her eyes widened. “I mean, we grew up on stories about him and the mob—”

“I know,” Elizabeth groaned. “I know. But he offered Jason a honest job, and Jason really wanted to prove himself. I told him to be careful, but he didn’t want to make judgements about Sonny based on what other people said. It’s hard to disagree with that. Sonny’s always been real nice to him, and he’s been polite to me—”

“You’ve met him?” Robin interrupted. “Do Patrick and Noah know this?”

“No,” Elizabeth said shortly, “And if you’re really serious about us putting the last three years of radio silence behind us, you’re going to keep it to yourself. I’m not an idiot, but Jason considers a Sonny a close friend. I’m not about to lose my friendship with Jason over something like this—it’s too important to me.”

“Fine. I just…wanted to know what was happening.” Robin sipped her coffee. “Are you sure you’re just friends?” she asked.

Elizabeth’s cheeks flushed. “Yes!”

Robin looked like she wanted to press the subject, but thankfully they were interrupted when Lulu Spencer stalked up to the table, an irritated intern hot on her heels.

“Explain to me again why I have do this?” she demanded. “Ellie, please tell Emily that I do not do bedpans.”

“Lulu,” Emily Quartermaine sighed, aggravated. “You’re a volunteer. You do whatever you’re told. And it’s not even my responsibility to wory about this.” She collapsed into a chair next to Elizabeth and then did a double take as she realized who her co-worker’s companion was. “Robin!” she squealed. She jumped back to her feet, and yanked Robin up, hugging her. “When did you get back? How long are you here?”

“Yesterday,” Robin said, drawing back to take a much needed breath. “I’m starting in the lab tomorrow.”

“Good, reinforcements,” Lulu said. “Maybe you can help.” She sat in the fourth seat and stole a sip of hot chocolate. She wrikled her nose. “How much sugar is in here?”

“Lulu seems to think that just because we’re going to be sisters-in-law that I can pull strings with the hospital and get her off bed pan duty,” Emily informed Robin.

“You’re not only marrying my brother, you’re marrying the hospital’s biggest donor!” Lulu remarked. “If you can’t pull strings, who can?”

“How did you end up on bedpan duty?” Robin asked curiously. “I remember you had to do something pretty awful to get that punishment.”

“Oh, sure…” Lulu rolled her eyes. “Well, it started with me getting suspended from school because I missed like two measly days—”

“An entire week,” Ellie murmured to Robin.

“So my parents decided I needed to be grounded and I had to start taking responsibility, so I’m stuck bussing at Luke’s afternoons after school and volunteering here on the weeks. So, as to the bed pans, well the terror on sneakers hate me—”

“The terror being Epiphany Johnson,” Elizabeth said wryly “She’s head of the nursing program, and Lulu has been irritating her since the day she started here, haven’t you, my love?”

Lulu stuck her tongue out at the nurse. “Epiphany is being as unreasonable as my parents. I was late like five times. Who isn’t late once in a while?”

“Five times in two weeks is not once in a while, Lulu.” Emily sighed. “Your parents, and Nikolas, wanted you to work here and the club so you could get a little experience, a little responsibility. And keep you out of trouble.” She raised her eyebrows. “It’s not working out so well, since you’re still dating Ellie’s idiot cousin.”

“I’d argue that,” Elizabeth mused, “but he’s a Drake male, and therefore, an idiot.”

Robin frowned. “What’s wrong with Will?”

“Well, Lulu only became interested in him after he started fighting anyone who looked at him wrong,” Emily sighed.

“That is not true,” Lulu said hotly. “Or well…it’s not entirely true. He’s very cute, you know. And he’s funny.” She propped her chin on her fist. “But don’t worry. He told me he loved me last weekend, so I’m breaking up with him.” She smiled brightly. “Let’s not talk about that anymore. Let’s talk about how excellent it is that Robin is home.” She looked at the woman in question. “How happy have you made your father and uncle? I mean, every time Robert comes in to harass my dad, he mentions you and how proud he is.”

Robin sighed, allowing the change of subject. “He still thinks I’m going to hop a plane back to Paris. I think he’s thinking about putting a lock on my bedroom.”

“Well, at least your father’s not a recovering alcoholic who spends most of his time sucking up to your brother,” Elizabeth muttered.

“Or doesn’t disappear for months on end without word,” Lulu pointed out.

“And your father hasn’t threatened to disown you for marrying a Cassadine,” Emily sighed.

“This is all true, but at least none of your fathers are retired WSB agents,” Robin remarked. “Believe me, it’s no picnic.”

“Fathers,” Lulu said, mournfully. “Who needs ‘em right?”

This entry is part 6 of 8 in the Aurora Dawning

Morning

“I know it is early, Michael,” Caroline began, “but I felt that it was imperative that I inform you of my discovery as soon as possible.”

Michael sat down and poured himself a cup of coffee. “It is quite all right, Caroline. Speak your mind.”

Caroline set her notes on the table. “AJ and I have discovered a strange pattern with the previous chosen.”

“AJ?” Michael echoed. “I thought that I had assigned Barbara yesterday.”

“Lady Robin fell ill and she sent AJ in her stead. Anyhow, My Lord, all of the chosen we have record of gave birth to magical children.”

Michael frowned. “Are you quite certain?”

“In fact…Nell Brown is the daughter of one of them,” Caroline said. “Eleanor Morgan, born to James and Kylie Morgan. She married Frederick Brown and then later assassinated King Nikolas. She was executed for her crimes and because of her, there is the ban against enchantresses. Her sister, Mariette, was among the first sent to the work camps. There were three boys. Adam, Harold and John. All sorcerers.”

Michael muttered something under his breath and motioned for her to continue. Caroline nodded and set another page of notes on top of the previous. “Hugh Quartermaine and the Princess Adelaide. They were before James and Kylie, so their daughter Olivia lived a long life with many children. She and her brother Wendall were the first in the family to have the gifts.”

“This—this is an extraordinarily bad thing.” Michael stood and began to pace. “We have less than nine months to lift the ban. Elizabeth could become pregnant from the first night alone. I will not allow her children to be persecuted, Caroline. You cannot tell another soul what you have found.”

Caroline narrowed her eyes. “It is not right to keep this from the council. They deserve to know—”

“They deserve to know nothing,” Michael retorted. “Elizabeth has had enough sorrow in her life. If she gives birth to a daughter—I will not allow the child to be ripped from her arms, are we clear?”

The blonde just stared at the normally calm and collected council member. “Lord Corinthos, I know that the Princess is your niece but you have a duty to the kingdom to inform them of threats. Enchantresses cannot be trusted—”

“Because one woman a thousand years ago assassinated a king. She did this because the king had recently ordered her family to be evicted from their family’s lands. It was only through the prince’s loyalty to James Morgan that the family did not lose everything. One woman does not mean all women with powers are bad, Caroline, and I do not appreciate your prejudice.” He raked a hand through his dark hair. “I have given you an order, Caroline. No one will know of this until I say differently. Inform AJ of this as well.”

“My Lord,” Caroline began to protest.

“That is an order,” Michael repeated coldly.

—-

Jason found his mother in Alexis’s kitchen, having shooed the servants out. No one cooked for Susan Morgan.

“Good morning,” he greeted his mother with a kiss on the cheek.

“I was hoping we would have a chance to speak this morning.” Susan gestured towards the table. “Sit and I will get you something to eat.”

A few moments later, his mother set a plate of meat and eggs down in front of him next to a glass of cold milk. She then sat at the head of the table and took something from her pocket. “I intended to give this to you when you married.” She opened her palm to reveal a handmade silver ring. “Your father gave me this after our wedding.”

“You have not worn that since Father died,” Jason observed.

Susan sighed. “I could not bring myself to do so,” she admitted. “It is not my wedding ring—though I cherish that as well. It is a ring he made himself and he gave it to me days after we’d been married. He told me that while the ring he’d given me during the ceremony was a symbol of our vows, this was a symbol of his love.”

She stared at it with a soft smile. “You are so like your Father and he knew that it would be the same for you. You see…your father and I did not meet until the day of our wedding—”

“He told me this once,” Jason said. “That he did not see you until you walked down the aisle. He said that moment he saw you, he knew that he would love you for the rest of his life.”

Susan exhaled slowly and smiled. “That is what he told me when he gave me this. And as you grew up, he said that it would be the same for you. It would happen in a moment and once you’d found the woman, you would hold fast.” She held out the ring for him to take. “I believe Elizabeth is that woman.”

He took it from her gingerly and stared at her. “It seems every time I try to tell her how I feel, I mess it up,” Jason admitted. “Yesterday, her mother told her that she would try to get us released from the marriage. The Queen does not find me suitable enough to control her daughter and she is now threatening to send her to a work camp.”

Susan gasped. “Her own mother?”

Jason nodded. “Elizabeth was devastated but—but she was trying not to show it as always. And she said that perhaps from my perspective, it was not bad news. That now I could find someone more suitable to marry.”

“She is stubborn. She has made her mind up that she will not be a good wife for you or a good mother to your children,” Susan informed him.

“I know—I told her that I did not want to find anyone else—that I wanted to marry her.” Jason sighed and pushed his fork around his plate. “And then she asked why.”

Susan closed her eyes. “What did you say?”

He frowned. “I thought—I told her that there were many reasons but the main one was because she understood me—understood that I am okay with my life as it is.”

She shook her head. “That was not the answer she was looking for.”

“Yes, I gathered that when she smiled that fake smile at me and left the room,” Jason remarked dryly. “But I don’t understand—what is it that she wanted to hear?”

“She does not want you tell what she wants to hear,” she tried to explain without injecting impatience into her tone. “She wants to know how you feel.”

“It has been five days since we laid eyes on each other, I cannot tell her that I love her.”

“Do you?” Susan asked simply. “Because if you do, I think that you should tell her for I doubt she hears it often, if she hears it all.” She stood. “You are marrying a very lovely girl, Jason; eventually you will have to learn to talk to her.”

Jason touched her arm. “Can you help me?”

—-

Robin signed her name at the bottom of the letter and folded it carefully before sliding it into an envelope already addressed to her parents in Derwyn.

She heard a soft knock on her sitting room door. “Come in!” she called.

“Good morning, dear—you wanted to speak with me?” Barbara remarked. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine.” Robin stood and smiled faintly. “I’m writing to my parents see if I might take a short vacation with them. I think it will do me a bit of good to get away from Rhigwyn for a while.”

“Oh.” Barbara sighed uneasily. “Then I shall be alone for a time here.”

Robin touched her arm. “I’m sorry, Barbara. I didn’t realize…”

“No, no. It’s just that before you moved in, it was myself and Anthony and well—I’ve never lived alone.” She sighed. “It seems silly since you were going to be marrying Jason in six weeks but at least then you would be in the area…”

“Well—” Robin hesitated. “You know that I appreciate everything you have done for me, Barbara—but I cannot live here forever.”

“So many things are changing,” Barbara sighed. She shook her head. “Soon, you might not even recognize the people you leave behind.”

Robin frowned. “Barbara—are you feeling all right?” She touched her arm. “You’ve been acting strangely for the past few days. What’s wrong?”

Barbara cleared her throat. “Nothing you need to worry about. Why don’t you let me take that letter up to the meeting today? I believe Michael is planning on sending some people to Derwyn after the Dawning.”

“All right.” Robin handed her the letter. “Barbara—I think of you as an aunt. I hope you know that you can come to me if something is wrong.”

“Well…” Barbara smiled weakly. “I should get ready for the day. Excuse me, Robin.”

—-

Summer held out her hand and wiggled her fingers. “I told him I did not need a ring but he gave it to me anyway!”

Her two best friends had been fawning over her for the past day since she’d announced her impending marriage and when Lucas had given her an engagement ring this morning, she had immediately sought them out in the room that Gia and Maximilliana shared in the palace.

Gia squealed and grabbed Summer’s hand. “This is the most romantic thing that I have ever heard of! It is such a large stone!”

Maximilliana Matthews nodded her agreement. “Kyle had a lovely proposal and I do so adore him but to be asked by the Captain of the King’s Guard…” she sighed dreamily.

“Why did you not tell us you were seeing him?” Gia scolded for what seemed like the thousandth time. “We could have been trusted.”

“He swore me to secrecy and I must admit it, the forbidden part of it had such a wonderful edge to it. But I am very thankful Lord Corinthos arranged for me to leave the job.”

Gia nodded and sat on her bed. “Lord Corinthos is a very intelligent man. Do you know that he has betrothed Jason Morgan to the Princess?”

“Is he not a peasant?” Maximilliana asked curiously. She took a brush from her vanity and started to brush through her long blonde hair. Though she was no more than a maid for the queen, she took great pride in her long honey blonde hair.

“He is Lady Davis’s nephew and his forefathers were Captains of the Guard once,” Gia corrected her. “I have never seen my lady smile so much. She loves him.”

“Do you know that I have never seen the Princess?” Summer said. “She nearly never comes out of her room—how could she have fallen in love with this man in a week?”

“That is what makes it so romantic,” Gia sighed. “He probably saw her and fell in love in an instant and decided he couldn’t live without her. I wonder what he had to do convince Lord Corinthos to break the betrothal between the Princess and Sir Lucas.”

“They did not meet until after the betrothal was broken,” Summer confided. “Lucky told me that Lord Corinthos broke the betrothal because of the Dawning.”

“The Aurora Dawning?” Gia asked. “Well—then that means…” her eyes grew wide. “Do you think that Jason Morgan and the Princess are…the chosen ones?”

“Well it must be,” Summer said logically. “It is not me and Lucky or we would have been told. And there is no way that the council would have approved a marriage between the crown princess and a farmer no matter who his aunt was.”

“Well, this is most exciting!” Maximilliana exclaimed. “And even more so romantic. I remember when the sky turned black—signifying that they had met. There were shooting stars.”

“So?” Gia asked. “What does have to do with anything?”

“If two people see a shooting star on the day that they meet, they will be in love forever,” Summer informed her. “That explains why the Princess is so in love with him. Do you think that he is in love with her?”

“I have only seen him once,” Gia admitted. “Tuesday morning.” She hesitated. “I will not be going with her when she moves to his home after the wedding.”

“Not going with her?” Maximilliana squeaked. “But you have been her maid since you were girls. How can she abandon you?”

“She feels that she cannot gain the respect of her future family if she brings a maid with her.” Gia sighed. “She has a point, but I am to look after the other Princess once the wedding is over and I am not comfortable with that idea.”

“Why not? Princess Emily seems to be nice,” Summer said.

“But I loathe the idea of getting used to another person. I wish that I could be married. You no longer work and will be a noble woman,” Gia said to Summer. “And once you and Kyle are married,” she turned to Maximilliana, “you will no longer work, yes?”

“If Kyle becomes the head groom at Lady Davis’s stables, no I will not,” Maximilliana replied. “Gia, you will meet someone someday. I am quite sure of it.”

—-

Nikolas knocked lightly on his sister’s door. “Elizabeth? It is me.”

She pulled it open and he was surprised to see her already dressed for the day—her breakfast table cleared. “Good morning, Nikolas.”

He entered the room and looked at her oddly. “You are up rather early.”

“Not especially. Was there something that you needed?”

“I wished to tell you some good news.” He sat on the sofa and patted the seat next to him. She joined him and he smiled. “I came to see you yesterday but you were not here. When I left your room the night before last, Emily and I talked and she loves me just as I love her.”

“Oh…that is so wonderful!” Elizabeth threw her arms around her brother. “I am so happy for you.”

He kissed her cheek as he pulled away. “Now—I heard that the Morgans are staying with Lady Davis until the wedding. Have you spoken to Jason?”

Elizabeth’s cheeks flushed. “We spoke yesterday. Twice—and you were right, Nikolas. About why he said what he did. He has had experience with a woman and he did not want to do anything to compromise me.”

“Well, then. He seems to be a respectable man. I’m looking forward to meeting him.”

“Mother was by yesterday,” Elizabeth informed him. “She says that she is going to have the council release me from the marriage after the Dawning and send me to a convent.”

“She cannot do that—Michael will never agree,” Nikolas said firmly. “You must have a very good reason to release someone from a marriage and simply because the girl’s mother does not like the boy is not a good reason.”

“Jason and I brought the news to Michael last night and he said that if we wished to remain married, we would be.”

“Good. Michael is a good man, Elizabeth. He wants your happiness.”

Elizabeth sighed and shook her head, clearly unwilling to change her opinion about her uncle. “Jason said that he wanted to marry me, can you imagine that?”

“Of course I can imagine that. He is very lucky to even be in your presence much less being your husband and I do not mean because you are the Princess.”

Elizabeth smiled faintly. “Thank you, Nikolas, but I fear that you are biased.”

“Of course. I must be going—I have an appointment to meet my wife in the library and read with her.” Nikolas smiled and stood.

“I am very happy that things worked out for you and Emily, Nikolas. It is very gratifying to see someone get a happy ending.”

He took her hand in his and pulled her to her feet. “Do you love Jason, Elizabeth?”

She blinked. “I—I am not sure, Nikolas—”

“No, do not tell me that. Tell me the truth,” Nikolas pressed.

She smiled tremulously. “I think that I am. Y-yes, I do love him.”

Nikolas smiled again and kissed her cheek. “Then perhaps you will get your happy ending as well.”

——

Emily was at the entrance to the west wing when she heard a voice call out to her. She turned to see her mother-in-law approaching her. “Good morning, my lady,” Emily said politely.

“Emily, darling, I am so thankful that I was able to catch you this morning.” Mirielle smiled as wound her arm through her daughter-in-law’s and steered her away from the west wing.

“Was there something that you needed?” Emily asked, looking over her shoulder longingly. She and Nikolas had made an appointment to meet each other in the library and read to one another that morning and now it looked as though she would miss it.

“You and my son have been married for six months and yet you have not produced an heir,” Mirielle began. “Now—that is certainly no reason for alarm. You are young, my son is healthy. There is time yet. But six months of sharing the marital bed and no heir? Have you thought about seeing the sorcerer?”

“As you said, my lady, I am quite young and your son is quite healthy. We both feel as though we should concentrate on our marriage before having children,” Emily replied.

Mirielle laughed. “What is there to concentrate on? You are not wed to my son so that you may have a relationship with him. This is not a fairy tale, my dear Emily. You are to give him heirs, not love.”

Emily frowned. “But I do love your son and he loves me and we wish to be in love a little longer before we have children and we do not have as much time for each other.” She smiled. “I love the idea of having children but they can complicate things a little. I look forward to the complication, do not misunderstand me—I just would like more time with Nikolas.”

“Children do not need complicate things. You give birth to them, you hire a nanny and that is usually it. Where is the complication?” The Queen frowned. “And what is this nonsense about wanting more time with Nikolas?”

Emily stared at the queen. “I intend to raise my children and Nikolas intends to be a father. We do not simply want a family to further the lineage, though that is of course in our minds. We love each other and we want a family.” She pulled her arm from the woman’s grasp. “I know that you love nothing but your position but I want nothing more to be a wife and a mother. One day, I will be a queen and your son a king, but they will be secondary to my position as Nikolas’s wife and the mother of his children.”

“How dare you speak to me in this manner—” Mirielle protested, outraged.

“No—how dare you speak to me in this manner,” Emily retorted. “You treat your daughter like a leper for reasons I do not know and your son as though he is nothing more than a prince. I am not a brood mare. I am a person and I demand to be treated as such. If you are determined to be this cold and heartless, perhaps you should avoid speaking to me in the future.”

Emily turned and walked away, her head held high leaving the queen in a sputtering rage.

Afternoon

Jason found his sister seated at a window seat, staring out over the meadow in the back of the house. “Good afternoon, sister. How do you like your stay at Aunt Alexis’s home so far?”

She smiled as her brother sat next to him. “Is it wrong to say that while I miss home, I love it here? I can see the village from the house and there are so many shops and buildings, Jason. Can you imagine how many people must live there?”

“Since I pass through it each day to visit the palace, yes I can.” He hesitated. “Chloe, you are fifteen.”

“Yes,” Chloe said. She was tempted to make a joke but she could see that he was about to say something serious.

“I think that you are looking for a future—perhaps—a husband?” Jason questioned.

Chloe hesitated. “I wish to marry one day, Jason. I know that other girls are often married at sixteen but I do not want to be one of those girls. The Princess is nineteen, I feel that perhaps that is a better age for settling down.”

Jason nodded. “I agree. But you will find that with my marriage to Elizabeth, there will be possibilities open to you—and to Alexander—that were not before.”

“Mother told me about the university. That Alexander no longer has to pay and I think that’s wonderful but how could I benefit?” Chloe asked.

“We will no longer need a dowry for you. There will be men falling over their feet hoping to marry the sister-in-law to the princess.”

Chloe’s eyes widened. “Do you mean that? I could have my choice from many?”

“Yes—but I fear that you are so young and sheltered in some ways. I was wondering—Alexander is moving to the village when he begins the university in the fall. He will be living with Alexis and I wonder—if you might want to stay with her as well?”

“Really?” Chloe’s eyes lit up. “Could you get Mother to agree with that?”

“I think that I could. There is a whole world beyond our farm, Chloe. I am content to stay there and raise my family but you and Alexander do not have to make that choice.”

Chloe smiled and cast her gaze down, already imagining her life here. She then noticed one of Alexis’s picnic baskets was resting on the floor next to Jason. “What are you doing with that?”

“I—I was on my way out when I saw you here. I’m going to meet with Elizabeth,” Jason informed her.

Chloe smiled brightly. “Oh, really?”

“Yes, really. Why does that make you smile? I thought that you did not like her.”

“I never said I didn’t,” Chloe said surprised. “I agree that I treated her badly that day she was out at our home but the second she risked her life yesterday morning to save ours—she gained my respect Jason and I can see that she makes you smile. I like her just fine.” She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “You’re a good brother, Jason. And you’re going to make a wonderful husband.”

—-

Caroline rubbed her eyes and turned another dusty page in the volume of the genealogical book she was studying.

Across the council table, Skye and Jasper were talking in lowered tones about something—she wasn’t sure she cared what it was. Barbara had asked Michael to be removed from this project and he had agreed—reassigning AJ to it.

The Quartermaine heir had yet to appear.

A single long-stemmed red rose dropped onto the pages of her book and she looked at it for a moment, wondering if her mind was playing tricks on her. After a moment, she slowly lifted her eyes to see AJ standing there, with an armful of the flowers.

“What—what are you doing?” she asked softly.

AJ glanced at Skye and Jasper (out of the corner of his eye) who were now looking at him with obvious interest. He decided to ignore them and continue with his prepared speech. “I am an idiot,” he declared.

Wisely, Caroline kept her agreement to herself hoping he would get to the brunt of the joke quickly.

“I said things that I wish I could take back,” AJ continued and he set another flower next to the first. “Each one of these roses represents a mean and hateful thing that I have said to you. I counted,” he added.

He set the rest on top of the book and she found herself staring at them, her mouth agape. For the life of her—she could not imagine what joke he could possibly be making.

“You are a beautiful woman and Jason Morgan was a fool to let you go,” AJ told her. “But if I should be as lucky, I would not make the same mistake.”

She looked at him sharply. “What exactly are you trying to pull here?” she demanded.

“Nothing—I am trying to apologize, Caroline and to make amends—”

“You do not have a sincere bone in your body, AJ Quartermaine. I am not stupid and do not wish to be treated as such. Whatever it is you are up to, I will discover it,” Caroline promised. She stood and left the room.

—-

“Where are we going?” Elizabeth asked as Jason led them through a thicket of trees. He’d shown up at her door twenty minutes previous, a basket in hand and asked her to spend the afternoon with him.

As was becoming her custom, she left word with Gia to cover for her if her mother were to drop by for a visit and followed him without question but now she had to wonder if he even knew where they were going.

“We’re here,” Jason said as he pulled her into a clearing. “My aunt told me about this place before I left her house.”

Elizabeth nodded and watched as he opened the basket he’d brought with him and took out a light blanket to spread over the ground. “What is that for?” she asked curiously.

He knelt down and began unpacking the food from the basket. “My mother packed us some food. Have you never been on a picnic?”

“I’ve never eaten outside of the palace,” Elizabeth admitted. She kneeled down and arranged her skirt around her legs. “Why would one eat outside where there are insects and wild animals?”

“When my mother would take us out like this—she would put a charm over the area where we were eating to repel such things. She suggested you might try it.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “No. I do not use my powers.” She stared down at the red and white plaid pattern of the blanket.

“You do not know how,” Jason corrected. He took her hand and showed her what his mother had told him. “Just wave it like this and close your eyes—imagine a bubble over the area.”

She looked at him skeptically but did as he asked. When she opened her eyes, she frowned. “How do we know if it worked?”

He narrowed his eyes and looked at her thoughtfully. “You know…I did not ask my mother that.” After a moment, he shrugged and handed her the cloth-wrapped cheese and bread his mother had packed for her.

Elizabeth took it with some hesitation. “Why did you want to spend the afternoon with me?” she asked curiously.

“Why do I need a reason?” Jason asked instead.

She studied him for a moment but could not find any hidden motives in his eyes. She set the napkin down and reached into the pocket of her skirt and took out Morgan.

Jason smirked. “You brought the cat?”

Elizabeth set the kitten on the blanket and fed her a piece of cheese. “She gets lonely in the room by herself. She already has every crevice explored and when a cat gets restless, she finds something to do and no one can know she is inside the room.”

Morgan lost interest in the cheese quickly and pranced over to Jason, proceeding to climb into his lap. “She looks fatter than she did just a few days ago,” he observed.

“I have probably been spoiling her.” Elizabeth leaned over and scratched her behind the ears. “Yesterday, she got into my paints and left blue paw-prints all over my bedroom floor.”

“Someone will not ask about those?” Jason asked.

Elizabeth shook her head. “No one goes in there—just my sitting room. Jason—I really—I really love her. I do not know that I can ever thank you enough for her.”

“We have so many cats out at our place, one was hardly missed,” Jason admitted. “I glad she has got such a loving owner.” He cleared his throat. “My mother says that my sister will make a good mother because she is always out in the barn taking care of the kittens and puppies. Feeding them, cleaning them…”

“A kitten is hardly a child,” Elizabeth said sadly. “A child—especially when he is young—requires so much attention, patience and love…”

Jason lifted Morgan out of his lap and placed her on the blanket between them. “Elizabeth—yesterday, when we spoke I think that I said the wrong thing again.”

“When?” Elizabeth removed a piece of string from her pocket and dangled it in front of the kitten who immediately leapt up at it.

“When you asked me why I wished to marry you.”

Elizabeth yanked her eyes off the cat, momentarily ceasing the dangling of the string. Morgan, unprepared for actually catching the string got her claws wrapped around it and was suspended in air for a moment. “You did not say anything wrong.” She cleared her throat. “I asked a question that was not very fair and you answered it.”

“Yes—but it was not the answer you were looking for,” Jason insisted.

“No,” Elizabeth admitted softly. “But I cannot fault you for answering me honestly.” She kept her eyes on the kitten as Morgan lost interest in the string and curled up in a ball to take a nap.

“It was an honest answer, yes, but it was not a complete answer.” Jason inhaled deeply and paused for a moment, searching for the right words. “You are—you are very beautiful, Elizabeth. Extraordinarily beautiful in fact and you have such a kind and compassionate nature.” He reached into the pocket of his pants and kept his palm tightly closed when he withdrew it.

Elizabeth drew in a sharp and shaky breath. “Jason—”

“My mother and my father were married for nineteen years at the time of his death and I—I had never seen two people more in love. Granted, I was not exposed to many other married couples—” Jason shook his head. “They did not meet until they said their vows—they were an arranged marriage.”

Elizabeth nodded. “Many marriages are.”

“My father told me often that the moment he laid eyes on my mother, he knew he would love her for the rest of his life. He told me that some men are like that—and others need more time. Not time to fall in love, but to realize that they had,” Jason explained.

Understanding the direction this conversation seemed to be going, Elizabeth’s throat dried up and she could only nod and gesture for him to continue.

“This morning, my mother told me that my father said that I would be in the first group but I believe that it is more of the second. She…she wore this ring every day from the moment my father gave it to her until the day that he died.” He opened his palm to reveal the small silver ring. “It is not her wedding ring—my father told her that one represented his vows to her but this represented his love for her.”

“Your father sounds like he was a wonderful man,” Elizabeth managed to say, both surprised and pleased that her voice was even.

“He was the best.” Jason hesitated. “My mother was saving this ring for me to give to the woman I was going to marry. When she gave it to me this morning, I was planning on waiting for the wedding to give it to you but I think that I am going to do what my father did.”

Elizabeth glanced down at the ring before looking back at him. “What do you mean?”

He reached for her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. His mother had resized it herself to fit Elizabeth’s hands. “In two days, I will put another ring on this finger and it will represent the promises I will make then but this one represents the way that I feel about you.”

“A-and how d-d you feel about me?” Elizabeth asked, slightly terrified of the answer. The metal of the ring felt strangely cold against her flushed skin. She searched his eyes.

“I was hoping that you would not ask because I do not know if you are ready to hear it,” Jason admitted. “But since you have…” He cleared his throat. “Well—see…okay…I—I…” he hesitated. “I love you, Elizabeth.”

Breathing was no longer an option. Elizabeth blinked at him. “Jason,” she breathed. “You—do you really mean that?”

“Yes,” Jason replied, feeling a bit better that her immediate reaction was not to laugh at him for being so silly though he didn’t really think that would have happened.

“No one—no one has ever said that to me before,” she whispered. “I—” She swallowed hard. “I’m not exactly sure how to respond.”

“Well—under ordinary circumstances, you would usually…say it back or—let me down gently or you know—we could forget that I said anything—”

His out of character ramblings were abruptly cut off by the feel of her smooth fingers pressing against his lips. “I never want to forget that you said it,” Elizabeth told him softly. “It is just—I never imagined that anyone would want to say it to me. I was often told that no one could ever feel that for me.”

“They were wrong,” Jason said quickly. He leaned forward and kissed the corner of her mouth lightly, just grazing her skin really.

“Say it again,” Elizabeth breathed, closing her eyes.

“Why?” Jason asked amused.

“Please?”

Jason touched the side of her face and smoothed his fingers over her jaw line. “I love you, Elizabeth,” he repeated.

She opened her eyes and smiled at him, the expression lighting her whole face up. “I love you, too,” Elizabeth admitted shyly.

Without a second thought, Jason closed the distance between them and kissed her. It was different than the other day. She’d asked him to kiss her then out of pure curiosity.

But this—this was so different. Elizabeth’s eyes widened as Jason’s kiss was almost forceful compared to their first. When the tip of his tongue pressed against her lips, she hesitantly parted them to allow him entry.

Jason seemed to sense her confusion and scaled the kiss back. He didn’t end it though. He gentled his touch and tried to coax her into a more active role.

Elizabeth slid her hand from the base of his neck into his hair and closed her eyes. When his tongue slid into her mouth, she tentatively rubbed hers against his, moaning at the delicious sensations the movement sent down her spine.

Jason skimmed his hand down her back and gently lowered her to the blanket, covering her with his much larger frame.

Elizabeth instinctively parted her thighs to cradle him there. Jason’s mouth left hers and roamed over her throat, nipping here and there until he came to the neckline of her dress.

She didn’t even realize she’d unbuttoned the top half of Jason’s shirt until her hands hit the smooth warm skin of his chest. She pushed it off his shoulders, reveling in the way the muscles rippled beneath her fingers.

He sat up abruptly, his chest heaving, his breathing shallow. He raked his hands through his hair. “We—we cannot do that again.”

Elizabeth shakily sat up and smoothed hands over her wrinkled dress. She nodded. “Right. It is not appropriate out of marriage,” she remarked dully.

“No—well, no it is not,” Jason admitted. “But I do not think that would have bothered me right at this moment. It is not why I stopped.”

Elizabeth hesitated. “Because of the Dawning,” she realized, closing her eyes. “What takes place that night must be the consummation of a holy union,” she recited. “I did—I was not thinking.” She pressed a hand to her cheek, still flushed from their intimate encounter.

“I was just—” Jason shook his head. “We should be more careful, Elizabeth.”

She nodded. “Yes. We should be. But I remind you that it was you who kissed me,” she said with a smile.

“True,” Jason admitted. He reached out and grazed his fingertips against her neck, where he’d left evidence of his mouth. “I left marks,” he realized with a start.

She frowned and glanced down. Her neck was red all over but in a few spots, it was darker. “Will they not go away?”

“In time but you might want to speed the process. I doubt that you would like everyone to know that we came close—to well…came close,” he fumbled. “Just put your hand over them and imagine that they are gone,” he explained at her blank look.

She did so and was pleased to see it had worked. Jason had shifted back to the other side of the blanket. “Jason?” she asked hesitantly.

He unwrapped another napkin with cheese. “Yes?”

“I—” Elizabeth paused. “Perhaps this is another one of those things that is inappropriate outside of marriage but I—” She paused again. “The night of the wedding when we are expected to…” Her cheeks were even warmer now. “I—I have read books and my brother—well, he has told me next to nothing and you said that you h-had experience—”

“Elizabeth, what is it you are trying to say?” Jason asked.

“Well…” she exhaled slowly. “I am trying to ask what happens.”

“What happens?” Jason repeated. “You mean—no one has even spoken to you of this?”

“N-never mind,” Elizabeth said hastily. “I should not have brought it up.”

“Elizabeth…” Jason hesitated. “Perhaps you should tell me what you already know,” he told her.

“Well…I know the m-mechanics of it,” Elizabeth stammered. “That we—we—I do—I do not…” She closed her eyes. “I am really trying to ask how it feels, I suppose.”

“It is different with everyone, I suspect. With—my one time…” Jason took a deep breath. “The woman—there was some pain at first,” he admitted. “But it went way and after that—it seemed to go all right.”

“All right?” Elizabeth echoed, disappointed. “Is that all?”

Jason hesitated. “Elizabeth,” he began, “it is not appropriate to be having this conversation. Perhaps I should take you home—”

“No,” Elizabeth interrupted. “I—I am sorry. I will not bring it up again. I was only curious.” She glanced down at her lap. “I warned you that I often forget my place. We have spoken of so many things—I thought that we could speak of anything. But—I am sorry.”

“No, it is me who should be apologizing.” He shook his head. “You have no place when you are with me, Elizabeth. We can speak of anything. I just—I am not sure how to speak of this. You see—I never have before.” He hesitated. “I suppose blunt honesty would be the way to go.”

Elizabeth nodded hesitantly. “All right.”

“I suppose you could at least surmise the woman was Caroline,” Jason admitted. “It was just once—I had made the decision to propose to her on her twenty-third birthday. We were in her hayloft one day—she was showing me something, I cannot remember now what it was and I kissed her and it really just happened. Almost the way it did today. You see, Elizabeth, I had convinced myself that I was love in with her.”

“You were not?” Elizabeth asked, surprised. “But you were to marry her.”

“It was convenient. She was an only child. The farm would become hers upon her parents’ death and as such, mine. I cared for her very much, Elizabeth, I do not want you to think that I am uncaring person.”

“I do not think so at all,” she assured him.

“When she made the decision to go to the council, she assumed that I would go with her. Quite the way I assumed she would give that up and remain with me. Neither of us was willing to budge and so we parted ways.” He cut a slice of cheese and ate it, mulling over his next words. How could he say them without sounding truly heartless?

He decided to speak the truth, as he had promised her. “The truth is, Elizabeth, that at the time—the act was very—pleasurable. I thought that it could not have…felt better. But I was wrong.”

“When did you discover that?” she asked curiously.

“Two days ago, when you asked me to kiss you. That is the real reason that I said those things. Because in that simple embrace, I felt more love and passion than I had ever felt for Caroline.”

Elizabeth blinked. “You did?” She shook her head. “That is impossible.”

“Why?” he asked with a frown. “I know how I felt, Elizabeth. You cannot say that I do not.”

“You hardly knew me two days ago.” She hesitated. “You hardly know me now. And for that matter, I hardly know you. What if this is all just part of the Dawning—what if all of these feelings disappear when it is over?”

The thought had not occurred to him before and he leaned back, surprised that he had not considered it. He was not an impulsive person and yet—a mere five days after meeting this woman, he proclaimed his love for her? Did that not sound insane?

His silence led her to believe that he had not only considered her question, but thought that she was right. She whimpered and picked Morgan in her arms. “I should return home before someone comes looking for me.”

“Elizabeth.” Jason reached for her but she stood and slid the kitten into her pocket, ignoring the animal’s mewing protests.

“I had a very nice afternoon. Thank you for speaking with me so candidly.”

By the time Jason got to his feet, Elizabeth had already disappeared into the thicket of trees. He closed his eyes, trying to block out the hurt and distrust he had seen reflected in her beautiful sapphire eyes.

—-

“My Lord, you requested to speak with me?”

Michael waved the young man into his sitting rooms. “Yes. You were assigned to follow Jason Morgan until after his wedding in two days, am I correct?”

Brian Beck nodded and shifted uncomfortably “Yes, My Lord.”

“Well, today was your first day on this assignment; I was hoping you could give me a report.” Michael sat at his table and peered up at the younger man.

“He stayed in his aunt’s house most of the morning before leaving for the palace in the early afternoon. He took the Princess on picnic lunch,” Brian’s cheeks reddened. “The two talked for nearly two hours before she left. Jason Morgan then returned to his aunt’s house where he remains, sir.”

“There is something that you are not telling me, Mr. Beck,” Michael told him. He rubbed his chin. “What is it?”

“My Lord, it is of a personal nature,” Brian admitted. “I am not sure that it is anyone’s business but their own.”

“The Princess is my niece. Anything that concerns her concerns me.”

“Well, I suppose you have a point. They talked before—well, My Lord, Jason Morgan kissed her—and she did not stop him. I believe that they nearly—” Brian hesitated. “They stopped before it went too far, My Lord.”

Michael closed his eyes and nodded. “Thank you. You may go.”

When he heard the door click shut, he sighed deeply. Perhaps he should have a conversation with his niece. He doubted that his sister had discussed this subject with her and if it had to be him, well then so be it.

—-

Alexis entered her small private library and found Jason reading a book in the corner. “I did not expect to find you here. What are you reading?”

“I found a book on social etiquette,” Jason held it up to show her title. “I thought it might be useful.”

She nodded and took a seat next to him on the sofa. “This was delivered by royal messenger a few moments ago. It is from the Princess.”

He took the envelope from her and removed the note first. In Elizabeth’s feminine script, a message was scrawled. I have no need of this.

He frowned and looked inside the envelope again, his heart sinking when he retrieved the ring he’d given her only hours before.

“What is that?” Alexis asked curiously. She leaned forward. “It looks like your mother’s ring.”

“She gave it to me this morning,” Jason said quietly, rolling the tiny ring between his thumb and index finger. “I gave it to Elizabeth today and now she sent it back.”

“I thought things were going well between the two of you,” Alexis remarked. “What happened?”

“We—we were discussing something and she asked me a very curious question. Over the last few days, Aunt Alexis—we have become—it has been going better than well between us,” Jason stammered. “I love her and she loves me.”

“What did she ask you then?” Alexis asked, elated by her nephew’s revelation.

“If our feelings were created by the Dawning and what would we do if they disappeared after it was over.” He sighed. “I am not an impulsive person nor do I tend to jump into things headfirst but Elizabeth—how can I have fallen in love with her in five days span?”

“If it makes you feel a bit better, we have no account of any of the chosen claiming to have lost feelings after the night is over. If you feel as though you love her, then you just might. Jason, she has been through such a difficult life. Do not say those words to her again unless you are positive.”

“I want to give her life that she wants,” Jason told his aunt. “Where she is free to paint, sit outside in the sun for hours upon end. I want her to have the freedom she has never known. I want her to have all the kittens and puppies and animals that her heart desires but—I also want her to love me and I suppose part of me is—is scared that she is right. That it might be the Dawning affecting us and not our own hearts. I like the way that I am feeling, Aunt Alexis, and I do not want to lose it.”

“I do not believe that you will,” Alexis murmured. “Give her the night to be by herself. You both need a little time to yourselves and tomorrow—go see her and discover if you cannot come to some sort of agreement.” She stood and kissed his forehead. “But for the record, Nephew, I want you to know that when you speak of her, your entire face lights up. I have never seen you look this way before but she makes you happy, Jason. Such a feeling cannot be false.”

This entry is part 4 of 24 in the A Few Words Too Many

I’m finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don’t really know what
I’m going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
– Breathing, Lifehouse

Tuesday, April 15, 2003

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason pushed open the door and signaled for Elizabeth to go inside. He turned to Francis. “No one gets past you. No interruptions. I don’t care what Sonny or anyone else says.” He hesitated and glanced at Elizabeth, who was doing her best to keep her face expressionless when all she wanted to do was dissolve into a puddle of nothing. “And it goes without saying that you heard nothing on the docks that you didn’t already know to be the truth. That’s why you were assigned last week, got it?”

“Message received.” Francis nodded and took up his station at the door.

As soon as Jason closed the door, Elizabeth felt her composure leave her. She sank onto the sofa, his words were ringing in her head. I don’t lie. It’s my baby.

“Elizabeth,” Jason began, putting his hands at his waist, but he said nothing else, and she knew exactly how he felt. How the hell had they gotten into this mess and how were they going to get out?

“It’s not that I don’t…” Elizabeth twisted her fingers together. God, she couldn’t look at him. “I appreciate you stepping in because I wasn’t sure…” Restless, she got to her feet and started to pace.

“I know this…this is a mess,” Jason said. She turned and just stared at him.

“You don’t think that’s a bit of an understatement?” Her arms wrapped around her torso, her fingers tapping her on arm. She wanted to jump out of her skin. “Let’s…let’s go back here a minute. You told Sonny’s half-brother that you…” She couldn’t even say the words. “Oh my God, Jason. What are we going to do?” Her eyes widened. “You have to get Sonny and Carly…and Courtney right now and tell them the truth. He’s going to head straight for Courtney or Carly, you just know it.”

“No.” Jason shook his head, pained. “No, we can’t tell them.”

“I…” Her hands slid to her sides, as if boneless. “What do you mean we can’t tell them?” Her voice had climbed almost to a squeak, and she struggled to take a deep breath. “Of course we have to tell them. Ric is going to tell everyone he sees what just happened!”

“Maybe…maybe not.” But Elizabeth could see Jason didn’t believe a word of that. “Maybe he’ll get out of town. I made it clear that he goes after you again, I’m not gonna care what Sonny said.”

“And if he were a normal and logical person, that might have worked,” Elizabeth retorted. She dragged her hands her hair and turned towards the windows. “We can tell them it’s a lie, that it’s not…that you’re not…” She swallowed hard and turned back. “I’ll tell them it’s Lucky’s. I can call him, he’s on his way to London, but I bet he’d help—”

“We can’t bring anyone else into this.” Jason strode forward and took her by the shoulders. “Elizabeth, I know you’re upset and you’re scared, but we need…” He paused and slid his hands down her shoulders to take her hands. “We need to focus. No one but the two of us can know the truth. Even Francis doesn’t really know what he heard isn’t the truth.”

“Jason, we cannot lie to our family, to the people who love us.” She hated how shaky her voice was and the tears were sliding down her cheeks. “We can’t. Do you know what people will think?”

“I…” He nodded. “Yeah. They’re going to think we cheated on the people we were seeing.” He squeezed her hands. “But we need to keep you and your child safe.”

Right. That was paramount, and Elizabeth could understand that somewhere inside, but in this moment, she could only see the problems. The damage. “Jason, you cannot let Courtney believe you did this to her.” She closed her eyes. “You have to tell her the truth, she’s going to be so hurt—”

“I know she is.” His hands fell from hers, and already she was aching the loss of his strength. “But I learned the hard way that things like this…they work when no one else knows.” His eyes darkened and Jason looked away, clearing his throat. “I told Robin about Michael being AJ’s son because I didn’t want her to think I had slept with Carly while we were together. I didn’t want to hurt her.”

“And she told AJ,” Elizabeth said. She sighed and rubbed her eyebrow. “Okay. Okay. But that was different, right? Courtney hates Ric, too. For what he did to Carly. She’ll understand that no one can know. We’ll just…” She stopped when he shook his head.

“We can’t take that chance.” He leaned against the pool table. “I know I’m asking you for a lot—”

“Are you insane?” Elizabeth cut in. “You’re the one who stands to lose in this, Jason.” Her heart was racing, and her skin was clammy. “I get why this works for me, but you’re the one who’s going to lie to his family. Jason, I can’t ask you to do this. It’s insanity. There has to be another way—”

“You heard Ric on those docks.” Jason shook his head and looked at her. God, he was so upset, and she knew it was because she wasn’t agreeing to this plan. There was no way she could, because he wasn’t seeing how it was going to end. How it was going to kill them both. “He has to believe this isn’t his child, or he’ll come back for it or you. And when he doesn’t need you anymore…” He pressed his lips together and clenched his fists. “You can’t ask me not to do whatever I can to keep you safe.”

She had a troubling premonition that he wasn’t going to let her talk him out of this. “Jason, what if Ric doesn’t go away?” she asked softly. “I know you can’t really talk about it, but I know he’s in trouble with the other Families, that they’re looking for him.” Elizabeth tilted her head. “You’re counting on this not being a long-term solution, and it might just be for a little while.”

“If the Families know what’s good for them,” Jason began, but stopped. He wouldn’t say it to her, she knew it. “Ric shouldn’t be a problem for long. And after that, we can tell the truth.”

“So how long are we supposed to let the world think we’re having a child together?” Elizabeth pressed. “Weeks? You think that’s going to make it any better?” Her eyes burned. “You think Courtney’s going to forgive you for not trusting her with something like this? That’s what you’re doing. You’re telling her you don’t trust her to keep a short-term secret. You think that’s not going to hurt her? That Carly is just going to let it go? And Sonny…” Fresh tears burned as they slid down her face. “He’s your best friend, but he’s Courtney’s brother. Jason—”

“I wanted to tell you about Sonny,” Jason said, almost muttering the words, and she blinked.

“W-What?”

“That’s what you’re talking about.” Jason looked towards the doorway, as if remembering the night he’d come in and stumbled over her suitcase. “Me not trusting you with a short-term secret. You were so angry that I didn’t tell you—”

“It’s not about that, Jason.” She could not have this conversation now, not six months after it would have made a difference. If he’d just said those words that night instead of telling her it had nothing to do with her, oh God…

“I asked Sonny to tell you, I told him we could trust you, that you were…” He shook his head. “But he just wanted Carly to know. He said it was safer that way.”

Her hands were shaking, so she hid them behind her back. Why was he telling her this now? “Okay. Okay. But that’s…that’s not what this is about right now, okay. We’ve just…” She gestured out the window, as if the docks were just in the next room. “We just told a ticking time bomb that we had, at the very least, a one night stand, and created a child. What do we do if Ric disappears and goes underground?”

“We’ll find him,” Jason said. “He’s not going to hurt you again.”

She pressed her hand to her stomach, fighting the nausea. “Jason…”

“I know this isn’t a perfect solution,” Jason said. He straightened and crossed to her, stopping short of touching her, which she did not think she could handle right now. “We don’t have all the answers right now, but trust me…” He tilted her chin up so their eyes met. “You know I’m right, that no one can know. No one else matters but your child, and it’s safer if it’s just us.”

God, she couldn’t ignore that argument. She just couldn’t. He had trusted Robin once, and she’d blown his world apart. He’d known Robin as long as he could remember anything, and if Robin had done that to him…why wouldn’t Jason wonder if Courtney might as well. If he was willing to do this for her child, then how could she really argue?

“Okay,” she said softly, finding it difficult to look away from him. “I trust you. We won’t tell anyone.”

Relieved, he leaned down so his forehead brushed hers and if she weren’t already exhausted from tears, she would have wept for this moment. This one beautiful moment where they were totally in sync. Like they had been once.

He stepped away from her after a moment. “I want Francis to stay on you during the day, and I’ll put a guard on your studio door for the evening. I don’t want Ric to think for a moment you’re not being protected.” Jason took a deep breath. “We’ll just take everything else one day at time.”

“Okay.” She licked her lips. “Okay.” They stood there in awkward silence before she stepped forward. “I’m tired. Is it all right if I go home and rest now?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jason scrubbed hand down his face. “You…you’ve been to a doctor? You’re okay, I mean?”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth hesitated. “I’m about five weeks along,” she said. “In case…in case we need to figure out…a story.”

“Okay.” Jason started for the door and turned back. “I promise you, Elizabeth, he’s not going to hurt you again,” he told her.

He sounded so determined, so convinced, that she could almost believe him.

Kelly’s Diner: Dining Room

“Hey.” Carly Corinthos smiled, spying her sister-in-law seated a table, picking at some fries. “I didn’t think you’d be here today.” She sat across from her.

“I had lunch with Emily.” Courtney shrugged. “But she had to run. She’s worried about Elizabeth.”

Carly frowned. “Why?” She hesitated. “Did Sonny tell her about Ric yet? Because I told him he should tell her, and repeat it several times so she listens this time.” Irritated, she snatched one of Courtney’s fries. “She can be thick-headed when she wants to be—”

“I don’t know but Elizabeth told Emily she was going to break up with him, and I guess Emily doesn’t know what a psycho he is.” Courtney shuddered. “So she encouraged Ric not to take no for an answer.”

Carly rolled her eyes. “And people say I butt in when I should stay out. What a sanctimonious little brat. I wish Elizabeth could have overheard exactly what Ric said at Kelly’s. I’m sure Sonny paraphrased to me to make it less…disgusting, but even his glossing over would make her nauseous. But if she doesn’t know, and was just breaking up with him…” Carly sighed. “I hope she doesn’t let his oily charm change her mind.”

“Well I just hope she doesn’t go back to Jason for help,” Courtney muttered. “He loves me now, but I don’t…he has a super hero complex, you know that.”

“Which is how you snagged him,” Carly reminded her, cross at the criticism of her best friend. Jason was a good guy who liked to help when he could. It didn’t mean he only fell in love when he was rescuing someone.

“I know she doesn’t mean anything to him anymore,” Courtney continued. “She drove him crazy when she wouldn’t listen to him about Ric—”

Carly sighed. “I think you should just let it go. I mean, Jason is not the type to cheat on anyone—”

Courtney bit her lip. “Well, I don’t know about that.” She glanced away. “I know we were attracted to each other while he was helping me last fall, when he stayed with me at my apartment, and you know Elizabeth was staying with him at that point. I think they were technically dating, but it didn’t…feel like they were.” She shrugged. “I know Jason told me he never loved her—”

At that Carly, raised her eyebrows. Not in love with her? Carly couldn’t stand Elizabeth Webber, but she remembered how frantic Jason had been to find her last summer, even going to Taggart, Edward and AJ. She’d seen Jason under pressure, looking for other people, but there’d been something in his demeanor, in the look in his eyes that told the world that if anything happened to Elizabeth on his account…

“Courtney, I—” She opened her mouth to defend Jason, because of course he hadn’t let himself be attracted to Courtney before things were over with Elizabeth. He wasn’t that kind of man. Except, how else to explain how quickly he’d moved on? Troubled, she closed her mouth.

The door to the restaurant flew open, and Ric stalked in. He drew up when he saw them, and Carly saw him narrow his eyes in malicious glee. “Oh, crap.” Carly reached for her purse, intent on making a hasty getaway.

“I am so relieved to find the two of you here.” Ric stood in front of them, his arms folded across his chest, bouncing on his heels like a five-year-old who just couldn’t want to tell his sister he’d hidden a frog in her bed. Carly saw Rocco in the courtyard, peeking in the window, but she didn’t give him the sign to come in. It was a public place, what could Ric do?

“Ric, why don’t you just…” Carly shrugged. “I don’t care what you do, as long as you don’t do it in my face—”

“Don’t worry,” Ric snarled. “I’m out of here, but I thought you ladies might like to be the first to know the reason why.”

“I cannot imagine why I’d be interested,” Courtney retorted. “Where’s Rocco?” She twisted in her seat towards the door.

“You should be asking…where’s Jason?” At the hiss in Ric’s voice, Carly felt the skin on her arms begin to rise, a chill down her spine. “Or even better, who’s he with?”

Courtney hesitated and glanced at Carly. Should she give in? Carly rolled her eyes. “All right, Ricky, we’ll play it your way.” She smirked. “Where’s Jason? Who’s he with?”

“Oh, the mother of his child,” Ric declared, his voice loud, and carrying. Even those who’d been trying to pretend not to be listening to the spectacle abandoned the pretense. Carly felt all eyes on them, and watched the blood drain from Courtney’s face. “That’s right,” Ric continued, enjoying himself. “I found out Elizabeth was pregnant, went to go see her, to figure out what to do next, and guess who came across us?”

“This isn’t…” Courtney’s voice faltered and she looked at Carly, fear and revulsion in her expression. She licked her lips. “This isn’t true.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t have thought so if I hadn’t been there to hear it. Oh, you would have loved it, Carly. All the drama you so enjoy. Jason couldn’t wait to have me out of the picture. Elizabeth didn’t even have the decency to tell me herself—I had to hear it from him.”

Carly opened her mouth and closed it again. This didn’t…this didn’t make sense. She didn’t understand what was happening. Why would…why would Ric tell them—the whole world—something so easily disproved?

“Jason wouldn’t do that to me,” Courtney said, finding her voice finally. “He—”

“Oh, save it, sister. You know better.” Ric shrugged. “So I’ll just go upstairs and pack. I’m sure you have somewhere else to be.” He sent them one last malicious smile before disappearing into the back.

Carly looked at her sister-in-law, and then around the diner. “We should…” She cleared her throat. “We should go.” She felt disengaged from the moment, like an out of body situation, as if she was floating overhead and watching Ric spew these lies. Surely that would explain why she couldn’t scream back a denial, go after this piece of scum for lying about her best friend, for putting Courtney through it.

But somehow, she just couldn’t find a source of denial. She had no doubt Jason had claimed to be the father of Elizabeth’s child. The only question for Carly…

Was it true?

Jason’s Penthouse: Living Room

Something inside Jason knew, the moment Elizabeth walked out of the penthouse, that she was right. That this was a disaster that was completely out of their hands now, and maybe he’d been hasty, claiming paternity.

But watching Ric tower over her, the tension in Elizabeth’s posture, the fear in her eyes—he just wanted Ric out of her life and he was under orders from Sonny not do anything against him for the sake of their mother.

The words had just tumbled from his lips without thinking, and Jason wasn’t sure he’d take them back. If it got Ric out of Port Charles and away from the people he loved…it would be worth it.

When Courtney shoved his door open, her face ravaged by tears and anger, he knew…he knew he was about to pay the price he had told Elizabeth he was prepared to.

He set his pool cue on the table and started towards her. “What happened—”

“What happened?” Courtney cried. “That’s what you say to me?”

Behind her, Carly entered, and he was surprised to see that while Courtney was acting the way he thought she might…Carly looked subdued, sad even. She quietly set her bag on his desk, and turned to him, bracing a hand on her back. “Jase…Ric came by our table at Kelly’s.”

Jason closed his eyes, and he supposed Courtney took that action as an admission of guilt. He felt her purse slap against his chest and opened his eyes to see Carly holding Courtney’s arm, to keep the blonde from rushing across the room.

“Courtney,” Carly said. “Why don’t you let him explain—”

“Explain?” Courtney cried, her voice rising to almost a shrill shriek. “What is there to explain?” She yanked her arm away from Carly and stalked towards him. “I told you,” she growled, “I told you that if you loved Elizabeth, then you should go be with her. Didn’t I?”

His chest felt tight, but he realized it was sorrow at hurting her, not necessarily for what was coming next. What should have come months ago.

The end of something that never should have started.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. Because he was. Elizabeth had been right about Ric intent on causing damage—and he felt stupid, because he should have found a way to mitigate the fallout. “I didn’t mean to hurt—”

“Go to hell.” Courtney pressed her hands flat against his chest and pushed. “I told you I didn’t want to be your goddamned rebound, and you made me it anyway. If you wanted her all along, you son of a bitch, then why did you ever come to me?” Her chest heaving, her voice thick with tears. “Why did you leave her all alone here and come to me, and make me think I mattered?”

“I…” Jason’s voice faltered. Because that’s not the way it had happened. He frowned. Was it?

“As if it’s not abundantly clear,” Courtney snarled. “We are done. I hope you, your whore and your bastard are happy—”

“Don’t…” Jason bit off the automatic defense, but Courtney’s eyes bulged, because everyone in the room knew what he’d been about to say and Carly rolled her eyes. “Maybe you should…”

“And you have the nerve to tell me to leave when I’m breaking up with you.” Courtney’s laugh was rusty and bitter. “I don’t know what the hell I saw in you in the first place. You always want what you can’t have. I hope Elizabeth’s happy knowing she’s with a man who can’t ever be satisfied with what he has.” She raised her fist, as if to shove him again, but lowered it to her side. “I hope you both rot in hell.”

She stalked past Carly and slammed the door. Jason sighed, and sat on the arm of the sofa, waiting for Carly to unleash her own fury.

Instead, he heard her footsteps come closer and her fingers on his shoulder. He opened his eyes confused. “Carly…”

“I’m disappointed that you hurt Courtney like this,” Carly said after a moment. “That you didn’t have the decency to warn her, and let Ric stomp around with…this.” She pursed her lips. “After you told Ric the baby was yours, you should have made a beeline for the people in your life that would take this badly, especially Courtney.” She paused. “But maybe you thought Ric would just leave town, and it wouldn’t need to go further than that.”

“Carly,” Jason said slowly, because he could not have Carly a part of this lie. Carly was Courtney’s friend, and she might promise to keep the secret, but she also might eventually tell Courtney to spare her feelings. “I did not lie to Ric.”

“No, I know.” Carly patted his shoulder again. “It’s good…” She paused, as if trying to find the words. “It’s good that he’s not going to think he’s a father. You know…he’s obsessive about family, and if he thought Elizabeth was trying to keep him from his child, there’s no telling what he might to do to her.” She swallowed hard. “So you know, it’s good he doesn’t think he’s going to be a father.”

Jason stared at her, but Carly just stared back, almost blandly as if she didn’t mean anything except exactly what she said. “That’s right,” he agreed. “Ric is dangerous, and I’m glad he’s going to be out of Elizabeth’s life. Out of all our lives.”

“I am, too.” She paused. “You should tell Sonny if Courtney doesn’t get to him first. He’ll be happy to know he has a niece or nephew on the way.” At Jason’s sharp look, she continued, “Because you’re a part of our family, so any child of yours is part of ours.” She hesitated. “But maybe you should warn Elizabeth that Ric announced her happy news in a crowded diner, with Courtney in tow.”

Jason closed his eyes, and felt dread in the pit of his stomach. Elizabeth hadn’t had much choice in this debacle—she’d been forced to follow his lead in front of Ric, because what choice had he left her? And now, people would look at her and think… He nodded. “I will.”

+10

April 2, 2014

I’m home from vacation, but I don’t think anyone had time to miss me 😛 I wrote a little ficlet from a prompt in writing book and decided to plague you with my little Elizabeth story: I Love The Way You Lie.

I’m a bit sad, since they killed AJ off on GH this week. I knew it was coming, but it was heartbroken to see one of my favorite characters ride off into the sunset. They killed AJ off in 2005 during a period I was working and didn’t have a DVR, so I barely knew it happened. I have a few favorite characters to whom my loyalty is boundless–that’s AJ, Elizabeth, Dillon and Patrick. That’s it. I go through periods where I loathe characters (I always tell my mother that if I ever wrote the show, on my first day I’d blow up Sonny. I used to say Sonny and Courtney, then they killed her, and now I think I’d send Sam, Silas, Kiki and half the cast with them. But Sonny for sure), but these four can do no wrong. I will always find a reason to love them anyway. AJ was so deliciously damaged that there was nothing to do with him but build on it, but nope. Sacrifice him on the almighty altar of Sonny and Carly, even make his death all about them. I love Carly, but mostly because I write her in my head the way I want her to be, not how she is.

ANYWAY! The point of the above was to say the decision to kill AJ has actually spurred my writing a bit in some aspects, so it’s not all bad, but still…

I’ll resume reposting Aurora Dawning tomorrow, as well as add a new chapter of A Few Words Too Many, and the first two new revised chapters of Daughters.

Timeline

It’s set vaguely in 2014, around February but you really don’t need to know much more than the general history of Elizabeth to get it.

Inspiration

This is a weird little ficlet I wrote in response to prompt from a writing book. You had to write one section beginning with this line: This is what she wants most in the world. and then the second beginning with: She is lying. This is what she wants most in the world. So it just seemed like the thing to do when I came home from vacation.

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This is what she wants most in the world. She dreams of a second chance to tell the truth. Not one truth in particular, but any truth. All the times when she believed a lie was easier, all the times she tried to protect the people around her with false words…she knows now that the truth will always out.

She lied to protect herself when Lucky chose to go to the dance with her sister, to show she didn’t mind that she was always a consolation prize. She lied every time people asked her if she was doing okay when Lucky died, because they always looked so concerned and even if they knew she was dying inside, what could they do? They couldn’t bring him back, they couldn’t take it away. The lie was easier. Except she very nearly drowned in her lies. She lied without words every time Lucky kissed her and she wished for even the briefest of moments that he was someone else. She lied when she slept with Zander, lied to herself, to him, to Jason. She lied to herself that it meant something, because it had to mean something. She didn’t sleep around, that wasn’t who she was. She lied to Zander, led him to think there was something there that just never was. She lied to Jason, because she didn’t really care what he did to Zander, not really. Not in the scheme of things, not if it meant he would always look through her that way, without looking at her.

It’s almost pathological, a natural instinct to open her mouth and let lies fall from her lips. She lied every time she said she believed Ric, every time she said she trusted him and loved him. Because if she didn’t, she’d be alone, and she was terrified of being alone. She lied to Lucky every time she promised him she loved him best when they both knew they were both just settling. Neither had been happy in love since those halycon days before he died. That boy, her first love, had never returned, so neither had their love and they both knew it. They pretended otherwise, because it was easier to lie to each other and be together, than tell the truth and be alone.

She lied when she told Jason it could only be for one night. She wanted him to argue it, to pursue her, she always wanted him to fight for her, but no one ever did. Only Ric, and that wasn’t helpful. She didn’t want Ric to pursue her, but he was the only one who ever seemed to understand it’s not enough to say words, but follow through. Too bad his love almost killed her.

She lied every time she looked at Lucky told herself she would stick by him until the very end because she loved him, instead of the truth: She’d stick by him because there was nowhere else to go and he’d never abandoned that bleeding broken girl who’d crawled out from the snow. She lied when she turned down Jason’s marriage proposals and wished she’d accepted one of the first two because the third answer had been her honest one, and see there was the reward for telling the truth—nothing. Better to lie.

She lied when she promised she had finally accepted that they could never be together, that his life was too dangerous for a family, but that’s okay because Jason lied, too. He never loved her, she knows this now, because if he’d loved her and meant those words, he never would have had a family with the woman who had tried so very hard to destroy Elizabeth’s. She lied when she told Lucky they had a clean slate, because clean slates were imaginary. The hurt and anger would always be between them.

She lied every time she laid with Nikolas, because it was just another way to lie to herself, to maybe even destroy herself. She lied when she said she didn’t want Lucky to know, because wasn’t that the whole reason she did it? To finally shatter the permanent lock, to do something to drive him so far away from her, he’d never come back?

She lied to herself that she could get on with her life after the death of her little boy, but that was one lie she thought everyone could understand. She still woke in the mornings, took care of her other children, but the light was gone and nothing she could do would ever get it back. She lied when she chose between AJ and Nikolas because the truth was that she had tried very hard to care about them both, but her capacity for love was gone, and all that was left was the pretense.

She lied when she told Robin that she loved Nikolas because it seemed like the thing to say, and she thought Nikolas would leave Britt, to get away from her and her lies because she knew how poisonous a liar could be, just look at her life. All she’d ever done was lie, and all she had to show for it was three kids from three fathers, one of them had died because she couldn’t pay attention, none of the fathers were around, they couldn’t wait to run from her. She was a poisonous liar that didn’t deserve to be happy, which is why she could see it in Britt. Liars always recognize their own.

She lied because the lie was easier in the moment, but the truth would have been better in the long term and that’s the one inheritance from Lizzie Webber, the bitch she’d been before her world was shattered that night in the park, because Lizzie never thought in long-term, never thought about the future. The future couldn’t choke you the way today could. Better get through today, and let tomorrow take care of itself. Because some days it was all she could do get through today.

This is what she wants most in the world. To tell the truth.

She is lying. Again. This is what she wants most in the world. For someone to love her anyway, to understand that she might lie, but it’s instinct because telling the truth has never rewarded her. She’d been honest in her love for Lucky once, and he’d been torn from her. She’d been honest in her friendship with Jason, and he’d left her. She’d been honest with Jason that night in the penthouse, that she wanted to be with him, and he’d disappeared. She had been honest in wanting a life with him and family, but then he’d married another woman. What did honesty get you? No place better than the lie.

So this is what she really wants most in the world. For someone to love her for who she is. Lies and all.

April 1, 2014

For some reason, I wrote a ton of short stories in 2006, and four them were posted either at my LiveJournal or on my Yuku board but never made it the main CG site, so I, sitting on vacation and can’t sleep because this is my life and it sucks, figured I’d pass the time by collecting them and posting them here. I think I’m going to have to reorganize the short stories page. There’s too much going on.

Also, haha, the poll results have taken a sharp turn. The Best Thing is maintaining its lead by as small margin, but Counting Stars has supplanted Slide on the list, so the top three are: The Best Thing, Counting Stars and Mad World, but Damaged is coming up from behind and I probably wouldn’t count out Slide just yet. I have no idea what I’m writing this summer 😛

I have got to learn what it means to be on vacation.

Also, because I have issues, I posted Chapter 3 of A Few Words Too Many

Precipice – Maxie/Georgie fic about grieving. Written before Georgie was killed in 2007.
Worth – Diego prison ficlet posted long before the fucker killed my beloved Georgie.
Two Strikes – Patrick/Elizabeth friendship fic in which she reveals her pregnancy woes.
Bad Taste – Jason/Elizabeth fic in which Elizabeth learns the sad truth about the man who fathered her child. Um, this is not a happy story. You should probably read at your own risk.

Timeline

In 2004, they introduced Diego as a foster son for Courtney (listen — don’t ask) who was later revealed to be the son of Lorenzo Alcazar. Diego floated around a little bit for a year before going to jail in the fall of 2005 for stalking Brooke Lynn Ashton. When his crimes were originally discovered, he kidnapped Georgie and went on the run with her, explaining he’d done it as revenge for Brooke and the others accidentally leading Diego’s cousin, Sage, to her death. (The cousin he didn’t know but sure). Anyway, the performers had a pretty decent level of chemistry, so I was mildly interested.

This short is set during the six months he spent in jail.

Inspiration

In 2006, before Diego returned to the show, I posted a challenge on LiveJournal (isn’t that adorable?)

to write a short piece from the POV of a character you either hate or just find completely worthless in order to get inside their head and think about their motivations. I picked Diego Alcazar, and had him thinking about Georgie while he was in prison.

Of course, a year later, Diego killed Georgie, which always seemed to be a goddamn cop out. So this story fell off my radar, ended up in my LiveJournal archives, almost completely forgotten until I was organizing things in 2004.

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He dreams about her.

He closes his eyes and blocks out the sounds of the inmates at night. He forces out the grunts, the groans–he forgets about the smell of urine that seems spill out of every crack and corner of the cell block. He puts all of that out of his mind for a few brief visions of what it could be like if things were different.

If he’d chosen to follow a different path, if he’d chosen a different life, could he have been worthy of her? Could he have been the one she’d turned to instead of that spoiled rich boy? If he had grown up with her, known her from the beginning, could she have loved him instead?

He doesn’t think about her in the waking hours–it is a conscious decision. Thoughts of her beauty, of her spirit and her generosity don’t belong in this world, in this place and he wouldn’t soil the things he loves best about her by thinking about her when he’s surrounded by violent and disgusting men–men who make his crimes look ordinary and dull. To think about her while he is in the gym or in the cafeteria or even just playing cards with some of the inmates…it is wrong.

He is playing cards one day and thinking about what he could buy her with the money he wins. A smile crosses his face and one of the inmates crudely asks for details. It is his first and only fight. His knuckles are sore and his nose is broken, but he defended her honor and it makes it all right. He stops thinking about her when he is awake.

But at night, he closes his eyes and sees her smile and pretends it’s for him. He begins to plan in great detail how he will prove himself worthy of her love, how he will earn it. He will make enough money so he can offer the same world her boyfriend can. He will treat her with respect and trust. He will shower flowers and gifts and dress her in silks and satins. He will never make her regret her choice in gifting him with her love and her devotion.

He will make her love him and maybe she can save him. Maybe the dirt, the taint, the sheen of the streets and the things he has done will fade and all that will be left is someone that she deserves. He wants to be someone she deserves. For now, all he can do is plan.

And dream.

Timeline

This is set vaguely in 2006. It’s written from the POV of Georgie about her sister, Maxie. It’s not particularly tethered to any piece of the GH timeline, other than it taking place after the events of that fall: Maxie’s affair with Lucky and the pregnancy she faked to keep him.

Inspiration

In 2006, I was watching Veronica Mars for the first time, and I was inspired by the grief Veronica felt for Lilly. Ironically, the show killed Georgie a year later and I have never forgiven Guza for the trauma.

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She remembered thinking that the day should have started differently, started with some sort of bang or explosion instead of her alarm clock bursting into song at 7:30 A.M. and she should have been doing something major, something significant when she was told instead of standing behind the counter at Kelly’s, refilling salt canisters and glaring at the back of her soon-to-be ex-husband’s head.

The bell chimed above the door, the double doors swung open and her father stood there. And she knew something awful had happened. Something that put that look onto his face.

And then he spoke and the world stopped.

Life went on afterwards. People went on. They went back to their lives, they kept living, loving, laughing, crying and after a week, after two, it had stopped being the front page news story and it wasn’t mentioned on the evening news.

But she was stuck in that moment, watching over and over again as her strong, wonderful and loving father walked into the diner and told her that her sister had been murdered. That her sister, her other half, her best friend, the bane of her existence and the one person that drove her more insane than anyone else wasn’t living anymore. She was dead, she was gone, she’d been stolen and she was never coming back.

The world kept turning, kept revolving. The sun kept rising and setting and the moon still hung the same way in the sky. But the landscape had changed and it was all wrong and there was something missing.

It wasn’t fair, she kept telling herself. And for a while, she also told herself it wasn’t true. It could never happen, not after losing Jesse. It wasn’t supposed to happen twice in a year, twice in a lifetime.

Her mother stopped. She slept more than she woke, she didn’t eat unless someone put something in front of her. Her father kept working, because that was what he did best. He worked. He worked and he worked and then he worked some more and finally when he passed out, it was on the couch in his office rather than their home. But then he’d wake up and work some more.

She couldn’t understand why people were smiling and how someone could laugh. Couldn’t they feel it? Couldn’t they understand that it was all wrong now? That a piece was missing and now the puzzle would never fit back together?

It was her sister that had been murdered, killed by some stranger on the campus one night before she could return to her dorm. Just stabbed over a twenty dollar bill in her pocket that she’d refused to give up. Twenty dollars and now her sister was gone.

She’d sat through the viewing, watched these people cry, these people who didn’t know her sister, could never know, never understand her, never really value her the way she deserved to be.

No one had ever understood Maxie but she had. Georgie had always understood her sister and always found a way to fix her messes, to keep her safe, to keep her sane and to keep her breathing. She’d understood that her sister didn’t know how to be unselfish and never fully realized that there were other people in the world and that their wants and needs mattered just as much as hers.

Maxie had been selfish, Maxie had been beautiful. Maxie had been a bitch, but she’d been loyal. Maxie was her best friend and Maxie was her worst enemy.

She’d been her sister and that was all Georgie could ever say when people, when her friends, those well meaning people kept asking how she was and if she needed anything and if there was anything they could do.

She couldn’t understand why they kept asking questions they knew the answer to. No, she was not fine. And she needed her sister so unless they could fix that and bring her back, then no, there was nothing they could do. So could they please just shut the hell up and leave her alone?

She imagined her mother would be worried about her if her mother were coherent, if she were able to see past her own grief, her own pain and her father was still searching for Maxie’s killer, so he didn’t even see her anymore.

And then someone had wondered (not to her, but she’d overheard it) how Georgie could miss Maxie, when she’d been nothing but a home wrecking slut with a viperous tongue and had been well on her way to killing herself with alcohol? How could she miss and mourn and grieve for a sister who’d been killing herself anyway?

Because Maxie was hers, the one person in all the world that was hers and no one else’s just like Georgie had been Maxie’s. Because they were family and you never turned your back on family, you never said oh, well, too much drama, I think I’ll find another friend. You were never on your own as long as you had your family. And Georgie had never been alone, never on her own.

But Maxie was gone now and she wasn’t sure if this was going to be the way her life would be forever. If it would always be this sinking sea of black darkness with no light, no break in the waves, no sunlight hitting the surface–just an endless abyss and her, always standing on the precipice, always thinking about going under but never going through with it because knew if she did, she’d see her sister on the other side.

And boy, would Maxie be mad at her for throwing it away.

So she pretended and she lived, and she breathed and she woke in the morning and went back to sleep at night and mostly, she remembered to eat and she went to class and sometimes she even pictured Maxie standing at her side, telling her to live them for both and telling her to laugh, and smile and love but Georgie always ignored that and put it out of her head. Because there was no reason to do any of those things now.

She had no reason to live, but no reason to die and she figured there should always be something in between but she wasn’t sure what that was yet. She wanted to find it one day but then again, what if she found it was nothing at all? So maybe she wouldn’t worry about it.

She’d keep breathing because Maxie would want that. She’d keep living and pretending. And maybe one day, the clouds would clear and there be some sort of epiphany and she’d understand that there was indeed a reason for everything.

But she was beginning to think there wasn’t and that the real mystery of the human soul was why everyone kept breathing when there wasn’t any point.

Author Archives: Melissa

April 3, 2014

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