April 16, 2016

I finally finished editing the ebook for The Best Thing. It’s available in .epub, .mobi, and .pdf.   I apologize for the delay in getting that together. I’d like to offer more ebooks, but they take forever to format, so no promises on the next release.

Also, I posted Part One of Look After You, the sequel to Choose Your Moment. It’s new material to the site, but anyone who has a keen eye will recognize the chapter from the old site. I didn’t repost it before when I moved the site here because I wasn’t going to be posting the rest yet. I’m still not posting the rest, but there’s no reason I can’t put up something you guys had access to before.

Bittersweet has been delayed until June. I know I keep moving that back, and I’m sorry, but it’s just better if I stop promising dates I can’t deliver. Just when I got myself caught up from having the stomach virus, I caught the flu. Now I have to get caught up from that, and go into finals and plan my friend’s bridal shower — I’m not going to be free until around May 10. And then you know, the semester crash in which I sleep for a week.

That being said, I’m going to try to write a short story or two, but I want any creative energy funneled into Bittersweet and Damaged so that once I do start posting again, we don’t have these long breaks.

This entry is part 1 of 1 in the Look After You

August 17, 2006

Elm Street Pier

Georgie Jones was a big fan of pacing. It never accomplished anything, but it always made her feel like she was doing something. She crossed from the bottom of one set of stairs to the other, turned and made the trek back. Then repeated the process.

It was all she could do to keep from standing still and just releasing one long awful scream because, really that’s what she was doing on the inside. She’d thought they were smart, reasonably intelligent people with morals and some sort of compass for right and wrong. Clearly, she had overestimated and misjudged.

But of course, she couldn’t scream. That wouldn’t accomplish anything and all she’d do is hurt her throat. So instead, she paced. It felt like something constructive, even though all it was doing at the moment was making her feel hot. Rivulets of sweat dripped down her back, soaking her white camisole.

Footsteps clattered down the set of dock stairs that she was facing away from and Georgie whirled to find her ex-husband and sort of boyfriend standing there. “You’re finally here.”

“Yeah, sorry I’m late—” Dillon Quartermaine jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “There was this thing and I had—never mind.” He took a deep breath. “Georgie, look, there’s something I have to tell you. It’s gonna suck but it’s better if we get into the open now and deal with it—”

“Don’t bother,” Georgie sighed, “I already know.”

Dillon closed his mouth and stared at her for a long moment. “You do.”

“Yeah, I mean—practically everyone does,” Georgie huffed. “I just—it’s so awful to think about. I thought—well I’m not sure what I thought was going to happen but I didn’t think it as going to be this!”

“Well, neither did I,” Dillon said cautiously. “But you know, we can deal with it, Georgie.”

“I don’t know what it has to do with me,” Georgie continued, “but people keep coming up and telling me like I don’t already know.” She rolled her eyes. “It’s ridiculous and it’s stupid.”

“Well, I think it has something to do with you,” Dillon said, a little miffed. “I mean, Georgie, c’mon, we’re talking about—”

“I know who we’re talking about but it’s not my fault she’s an idiot.” Georgie tapped the wooden railing restlessly. “I just didn’t think she’d be capable of something like this—”

His brows snapped together. “Well, it’s not all her fault, Georgie. It does take two.”

“Oh, I know!” Georgie countered hotly. “Believe me, I know. When Uncle Mac finds out, he is going to raise hell.”

Dillon paled. “Well, why does he have to find out at all?” he asked weakly.

“How can he not?” Georgie demanded. “I mean, everyone already knows and you’d better believe Uncle Mac is going to have issues. I mean, God, what was Lucky thinking?”

“I can’t begin—” Dillon stopped abruptly. “What does Lucky have to do with this?” he asked suspiciously. He didn’t know yet, did he? He could have sworn Lu said…

“He’s got everything to do with this,” Georgie said incredulously. “I mean, I don’t care what his excuse is, he should have known better! She’s just a teenager! An idiot, but still—”

“What are you talking about?” Dillon asked, finally understanding that they were, indeed, having two separate conversations.

Georgie frowned. “Lucky and Maxie are having an affair.” She narrowed her eyes speculatively. “What are you talking about?”

“Lucky and Maxie are doing what?” Dillon repeated sharply. “But he’s—” He pushed a hand through his hair. “Christ, this like the crappiest summer for fidelity,” he muttered.

“Yeah, I just got into a huge fight with Elizabeth two days ago at the hospital. Apparently, she found Maxie and Lucky in her own apartment.” Georgie’s eyes were filled with misery. “I tried to make her stop, Dillon. I mean, Lucky’s married. And he’s married to Elizabeth, who’s never been anything but really sweet to the both of us. And they’ve got a little boy—” she shook her head. “I don’t understand how she could do this to Elizabeth and then be so…smug about it.”

“Well, she’s had a really rough time of it since Jesse died,” Dillon said lamely, because really that was no excuse.

“And I wish it was just the affair because then I can just pretend that Maxie’s confused and in a bad place but—” She fisted her hands together and kicked the stairs. “I overheard talking to Robin about it and she was trying to justify it because Elizabeth and Patrick were sleeping together—”

“Whoa, whoa!” Dillon held up his hands. “Time out. Elizabeth was having an affair with Patrick Drake? But I thought Robin—”

“That’s just it—they’re not. They never were and Robin kept trying to tell Maxie that, that she and Patrick were dating and he was only friends with Elizabeth but Maxie just kept telling Robin that Patrick was lying to her, that he was only using her for sex—” Georgie licked her lips. “She was purposely hurting Robin so that she could get what she wants. I just—I can’t wrap my head around that, Dillon. Robin’s like our sister, she’s family. You don’t hurt family—” Her misery swelled over and tears dotted her lashes. “I don’t understand how she can act like this.”

Clearly this was not the time to tell her about Lulu, Dillon decided. He stepped forward and wrapped his ex-wife in his arms, wondering when the whole world had gone crazy. “I feel so awful for Elizabeth,” Georgie sniffled, resting her head on Dillon’s shoulder. “She’s angry, you know, but I could just see pieces of her breaking off, like she was losing it just a little bit with every single second that passed.”

“Well it’s clear it can’t get much worse than this,” Dillon lied, because of course it could and it definitely would. Maxie’s descent into bitchery was only going to continue, and Lulu’s brother was obviously having issues and of course, that was going to affect Lulu and he was going to have to figure out how to be on both sides of this.

Georgie sniffled again and stepped back. “Thanks for letting me have a meltdown.” She swiped at her eyes. “What did you need to tell me?”

“Ah. Well.” Dillon scratched the back of his neck. “It’s not important anymore.”

“Of course it is, you told me it was important, that you had to see me immediately.” George stepped forward. “Is something wrong?”

Dillon exhaled slowly. “Well, no. And yes, and well, it’s wrong to say that what happened is bad, you know? Because it’s not bad. It’s not great, but it’s definitely not bad and I don’t want you to think for a second that this was something I planned because it wasn’t but I’m not sorry it happened, because you should never be sorry about something like this and—”

“Dillon,” Georgie said. “You’re rambling.”

“Right.” Dillon exhaled slowly. “Well, Lulu’s pregnant.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Carly Corinthos sipped an iced tea and watched with some pleasure as Ric Lansing dragged his suitcase into the diner. The Metro Court and every other hotel in the city had been conveniently booked when the lawyer had requested a room as soon as possible.

She didn’t have any qualms about making sure that Ric understood exactly what was going on. He was being reduced to living in a room above Kelly’s. Four years and he was back where he’d started. Sometimes, revenge was sweeter when you hadn’t planned it at all.

Her smiled dimmed slightly as she thought of what it must been like for Alexis to have to confront her husband, to tell him to get out, that she knew exactly what he’d done to her daughter. She wished she’d been a fly on the wall but she’d had to settle for being present when Ric woke the morning before and found Carly in his living room, helping Alexis and Viola pack up Molly and Kristina for an overnight visit with Carly’s boys.

His confusion and bewilderment had been so nice to see. She’d enjoyed every moment of it but she was sorry it’d had to happen at all.

She wasn’t sure where Sam was. She’d disappeared from her mother’s and no one had heard from her. Good riddance, Carly decided.

Her blonde cousin slid into a seat across from her, her large hazel eyes filled with misery. “Carly.”

“Lulu, hey…” Carly straightened and set her tea down. “What’s up, babe?”

Lulu swallowed hard. “You heard about my brother, I guess.”

“I did,” Carly replied. “I’m sorry about that—”

“You know, why does all the bad stuff have to happen at once?” Lulu cut in sharply. “I mean, why does everyone’s lives have to go to shit at the same time?”

“I’m not sure—” Carly leaned forward. “What’s wrong, Lu? Did something happen?”

“Sort of,” Lulu sighed. “I’m pregnant.”

Audrey Hardy’s House: Elizabeth’s Bedroom

The institution of marriage was obviously an outdated concept that should be eliminated, Elizabeth Spencer decided. She tugged off her wedding ring and studied it, remembering the day that she’d received it. It had been her third wedding ceremony to her second husband.

And she was just shy of her twenty-fifth birthday. She could be a contestant on Jerry Springer in another few years.

She had returned home from her night with Jason feeling strong and resolute about her decision. She had ignored Lucky’s apologies, mostly because they’d been peppered with We’ve both cheated, can’t we get past it? and You slept with Patrick first.

She had never broken her vows to him until Jason and she didn’t consider that infidelity. Her marriage had been over. And she wanted—needed—to feel something other than pain and misery. Jason had given her a beautiful gift. It hadn’t been about comfort—though it might have started that way. And it hadn’t been about sex.

It’d been about the love that was always between them, whether it was platonic or romantic—and she’d really needed that. She’d needed to feel desired and wanted even it were for only a moment.

Now she was alone again, being forced to rebuild her life yet again. She was done with marriage. She was done with the concept of love and romance and soul mates. She tossed her wedding ring on her nightstand and ignored it when it twirled around twice before rolling to the carpet.

She would raise her son, she would work at the hospital and if she found some time, she’d paint. But she would do it all alone. It was safer that way—it was easier that way.

There was a knock on her slightly open door and Elizabeth looked up to see her grandmother standing there. “Hey, Gram.”

“Hello, darling.” Audrey entered the room and shut the door firmly behind her. “This house always feels empty when you leave it. I’m sorry that you’re unhappy, but I’m not sorry you came home.” She swept Elizabeth’s hair over her shoulders. “Are you ready to talk about it?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “Not yet, I’m just—I’m adjusting to the idea that this is my third marriage, my second husband.” She traced the flowered pattern on her bedspread. “Thank you for letting me stay here, Gram. I know it can’t be easy for me to run home every time I screw up my life.”

“Well…” Audrey sighed. “I think it takes courage to stand up for yourself. I believe in marriage, Elizabeth. I believe in doing everything you can to make it work. But I also believe in self-preservation. I know how much you love Lucky so I know it must have taken something truly awful for you to leave him and contemplate ending your marriage. But, my darling,” she touched Elizabeth’s cheek. “You will always have a home here.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Carly slid the sunglasses up and blinked at her young cousin. “Come again?”

“I’m pregnant,” Lulu muttered. She took a napkin from the dispenser and busied herself with the task of shredding it into small pieces. “And I don’t know what comes next.”

“God,” Carly sighed. “It’s like looking in a mirror sometimes.” Okay, so she’d have to instruct Lulu on what to do so that she didn’t end up like Carly—drugging people and dumping them into laundry carts. That should be avoided. She tugged on her ear and was silent for another moment. “Okay. Have you told Dillon?”

“Yes,” Lulu nodded. “And he took it—wow, he took it so much better than I expected.” She hesitated. “The only thing that we know so far is that we want the baby.”

“Well, that’s a good place to start, Lu.” Carly reached across the table and stopped Lulu from shredding the napkin. “A lot of people don’t start there.” She cleared her throat and sat back. “So, you need to schedule a doctor’s appointment—it’s a shame Dr. Meadows isn’t still practicing, I trusted her completely—but I hear good things about Dr. Lee. So we’ll get you scheduled and on those prenatal vitamins as soon as possible.”

“What about the Quartermaines?” Lulu asked with a sigh. “They’re going to be so…I don’t even know. I mean, Edward—I can handle him. He has a soft spot for me because he liked my mother. But Tracy—”

“Don’t you worry about the Quartermaines,” Carly advised. “Once they get past the idea of you been so young, they’re going to be over the moon about the next Quartermaine heir.”

Lulu’s eyes widened. “I hadn’t even thought about it that way. God, they’re never going to leave me alone. They can’t have Michael and they couldn’t make Dillon work in the business—but they’d want my baby—”

“That doesn’t mean they have to have the baby.” Great, now she’d terrified the girl. She was lousy at this supportive relative thing. “Lu, I’m just saying they’re not going to make you give it up or try to hide it, okay? As for them wanting to control you and the baby, it’s the Quartermaines. If they thought they could, they’d try to control the weather. But I’ll take care of that and if Dillon is half the guy I’ve always that he was, he’ll stand up for you.”

“It’s just…I haven’t told the rest of the family yet.” Lulu sniffled. “I mean, I told my mom but that doesn’t really count because she couldn’t hear me. But Aunt Bobbie, Grandma Lesley—I’m so scared to tell them because I know they’ll be disappointed. I tried to get a hold of my brothers but Nikolas is so busy with Spencer and Lucky—” Lulu rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what Lucky can do for me right now. I think he might be too busy getting high and screwing Maxie.”

Carly winced. The Spencers were not an illustrious bunch. “Well, we can worry about them later.” She hesitated. “What about Elizabeth?” she forced out. “She’s been in this situation before and I know you guys are close. For whatever reason.” And Elizabeth was usually more logical and less likely to plot a scheme that would blow up in her face, Carly remembered, a personality trait that shouldn’t be downplayed right now.

“She’s—with Lucky and all, I figured she wouldn’t really care but maybe…” Lulu shrugged. “I’m just—I’m worried about Dillon. He was just getting things together with Georgie and he deserves to be happy but this is going to ruin that—”

“Hey, I don’t think he’s really thinking about that right now,” Carly interrupted. She reached for her purse. “And he’s not going to take it out on you or the baby if things don’t work out for Georgie. Now, c’mon.” She stood. “Let’s get you to the hospital and set up an appointment.”

“Ah, Dillon said he wanted to go,” Lulu said, standing.  She pursed her lips. “Carly, don’t take this the wrong way because I really appreciate your help and your advice but I don’t need you to run my life either.”

Carly set her purse back down and bit back a laugh. “I was kind of taking charge there—I’m sorry. Because I know how much it sucks not to feel like you’ve got any control. So I’m sorry. What do you need me to do?”

“I just needed you to listen.” Lu laced her fingers together and cracked her knuckles. “Dillon’s telling Georgie now and I should probably get out of here before she comes to work. I feel like she’s gonna need some time to process this. And I want to go see Lucky.” She smiled. “But thank you. It’s nice to know there’s someone I can count on.”

Carly grasped Lulu’s arm. “I am the most selfish person you will ever meet—with the exception of Sonny, but I protect my family. So if you need me, all you have to do is let me know, okay?”

“Believe me, you’re going wish you hadn’t said that when this is over.”

Elm Street Pier

“Pregnant,” Georgie repeated. She blinked. “Are you kidding me?”

Dillon drove his fingers through his hair. “Ah, no. She told me during the blackout—or rather, I figured it out when I saw her getting sick and put it together with the way she’d been acting all night—she told me she had something to tell me but then she changed her mind—and anyway, Georgie…” he hesitated. “We don’t really know what’s gonna happen next. All we know is…” he paused and looked towards the water, his voice low. “We want the baby.”

Georgie opened her mouth and then closed it. “I wish that I had words to say right now that would make sense,” she said slowly. “But I—I don’t.” She stepped away from him, turned her back and stared at the dock steps. “It’s good—it’s good that you’re stepping up. I mean, of course you would. You’re like that, but it’s good. I mean, I don’t think Lu’s had a lot of support or anything in her life and I know she’s gotta be scared so it’s good that you—it’s just good.”


“And you know, Lulu and I are okay. I mean, part of me understands why she did what she did and if she needs anything, I’ll be there to help or—” She could hear the words pouring from her lips but she wasn’t sure what she was saying or if she even meant it. But words and noise were better than silence. Because silence gave her a chance to realize that this was all true.

“Georgie, I don’t know what this means for us—” Dillon hesitated and reminded himself of the promise he’d made that night of the roof, the promise he’d made to himself. “Georgie, I have to be honest with you. I have—what happened with Lulu that night, that week—I don’t consider it a mistake.”

And the hits just kept coming. Georgie closed her mouth and turned to stare at him. “But you said—”

“I know what I said. And I said it because part of me needed it to be true and you needed it to be true, too.” He shrugged and kicked at the ground. “But I can’t pretend I don’t care about Lulu. I do. And I slept with her because I wanted to. And because I was attracted to her.”

If he’d hit her, he couldn’t have hurt her more in that moment. Georgie inhaled sharply and something inside of broke at that moment. “Oh.” She bowed her head, touching her chin to her chest. “Oh. Well. I should—there are things—I have to go.”

“Georgie, wait, I didn’t mean to say it like that—” Dillon sighed, annoyed with himself as he watched his ex-wife and sort of girlfriend dash up the stairs and listened as her heels clacked away.

He’d had that conversation a thousand times in his head on his way to meet Georgie and he’d managed to screw it up even worse than he’d imagined possible.

Scorpio House: Front Porch

Mac Scorpio leaned back against the bench and closed his eyes. “I want you to tell me that this is a very long and elaborate joke you’re playing on me, Robin.”

His niece smiled sadly at him. “Believe me, I still think this is some kind of nightmare but I thought you should know what’s going in.” Robin sighed. “I don’t know what to do about her, Uncle Mac. I tried to talk to her but she just—” she pursed her lips. “Well, she tried to feed me the line about Elizabeth having the affair with Patrick and I can’t listen to her tell me that he’s using me for sex, I can’t.”

“I don’t think I could listen to that either,” Mac winced, still wanting to believe his girls didn’t have sex lives. He hesitated. “That’s not—I mean, it’s not a possibility right?”

Robin scowled. “Uncle Mac, Patrick is not having an affair with anyone. And don’t ask me if I’m sure because he’s spent every night with me for a month—”

“Okay, okay—” Mac held up a hand. “You don’t need to elaborate.” He was silent for a long moment. “I’m not entirely sure where I went wrong in this. I thought I did a pretty decent job with you. I mean, you didn’t turn out like I thought you would but you turned out better and Georgie—well, she’s not hanging around the sex offender anymore and she got out of that marriage so I guess her life is back on track. But you and Georgie are a cake walk compared to Maxie, you always were.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what to do about her. I can’t send her away to school and I don’t even think a convent would take her at this point.”

“I don’t know what to do either but I thought it was time I stopped protecting her and let you in on what’s happening. I’d tell Felicia but I guess she’s back in Texas again,” Robin replied, disappointed in her surrogate mother for disappearing yet again.

“Let’s leave Felicia out of this for now,” Mac replied. “Mariah’s terminal and I don’t want to stress her out more than I have to, which is why I haven’t told her what’s going on up here.” He grimaced. “I’ll have a talk with Maxie and—well, I’ll see about paying Lucky a visit. Maybe somewhere we can work this out.” He patted his niece’s hand. “Thank you for telling me.”

“I just hope we can find a way to keep this from getting worse,” Robin replied, “but honestly, Uncle Mac, I’m not sure if that’s possible.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Georgie was not having the best of days. In fact, one could venture to say she was not having the best of weeks either. Her sister had destroyed the marriage of a woman that Georgie had always admired and then she’d been deliberately cruel to their cousin—a cousin that had always been more like a sister and had never let them down.

As if that wasn’t enough for any girl to handle, her ex-husband had impregnated a girl that had been partially responsible for the deterioration of their marriage.

When you laid the scenario out like that, it sounded ludicrous, it sounded like it like it had happened to someone else.  Unfortunately, it was unlikely that she would wake up tomorrow morning to find out that it was still March, the Jesse was still alive, that Maxie hadn’t gone crazy and that Lulu hadn’t decided to lie to get what she wanted.

She stepped up to the nurse’s station and cleared her throat. “Ah, Dr. Drake?” she asked politely.  Her cousin’s boyfriend glanced up from his chart.

“Hey, Georgie,” Patrick greeted. He set the chart aside and braced hi hands on the edge of the counter. “What can I do for you?”

“Is Robin around?” Georgie asked. “I need to talk to her.”

“Ah…” Patrick hesitated. “She’s talking to Mac.” He paused. “About Maxie.”

“Oh.” Georgie flushed. “I’m sorry,” she offered weakly.

He frowned at her. “What do you have to be sorry about?” he questioned. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“She’s my sister,” Georgie replied. “I’m supposed to look after her and fix things. I should have stopped her.” She bit her lip. “I’m not sure how I would have accomplished it, but I should have been able to. I knew she was seeing a married man but I didn’t know it was Lucky. I mean, who would have thought he’d cheat on Elizabeth? If I had realized, I could have stopped it—” she stopped abruptly, realizing she’d begun to ramble. “I’m just…really sorry Maxie dragged you into her problems.”

A strange expression flitted across his face and Georgie wasn’t sure why he’d look so resigned. He came out from behind the counter and put a hand on her shoulder leading her towards the waiting area. “Let’s sit down a second.”

Once he was seated, he scrubbed a hand over his face. “Look, I don’t really know you all that well but I’m sure if Robin were here, she’d tell you that none of this is your fault.”

“Of course it is,” Georgie replied sharply. “She’s my sister. I’m supposed to look out for her and if I hadn’t been so selfish and worried about myself, I could have seen that she was crossing the line. I should have been able to stop this—”

“Your sister was hell bent on self-destruction,” Patrick interrupted. “I highly doubt anyone could have stopped her.”

“You don’t understand,” Georgie huffed. “You’re an only child, okay? You don’t know what it’s like to be the younger sibling and to still be the mature one, the responsible one. For your parents to constantly hold you up as an example to your sister. I’ve always protected Maxie and fixed stuff for her.”

“You’re right, I don’t get it,” he replied. “But you can’t always blame yourself when people do stupid things. You can’t control everything.”

“Well, duh,” Georgie rolled her eyes. “But you should be able to control some stuff, you know.” She stared miserably at her hands. “I can’t make anything go the way it’s supposed to. Lulu’s pregnant, okay? Dillon knocked her up.”

“Oh, for the love of…” Patrick muttered. “Freaking teenagers, you’re all going to drive me nuts.”

“You don’t have to pretend you care,” Georgie told him. “I mean, I appreciate the effort and all, but really—”

“I’m not pretending,” Patrick replied. “I’m just new at this. You’re important to Robin, okay? And she’s—” he paused. “Well, she’s Robin. So, if there’s anything I can do—”

“Unless you can turn back time and make it so that none of this happened,” Georgie grumbled, “then no.” She stood but hesitated a moment. “But really, thanks. I’m glad Robin didn’t believe what Maxie was saying about you.”

“That makes two of us,” Patrick said dryly. “I’ll let Robin know you need to talk to her. Just…don’t let the thing with your sister get you down. No one blames you.”

“Only me,” Georgie sighed. “Thanks, Patrick.”

Quartermaine Mansion: Foyer

There were very few constants in Emily Quartermaine’s life. Her family would always be a group of frustrating idiots who really meant well, she would probably be in love with Nikolas Cassadine for the rest of her life, Elizabeth Spencer was the closest she’d come to having a sister and Lucky Spencer would always be her best friend.

Lucky had always been her touchstone. He’d been her first friend, first real and solid connection in Port Charles and never let her down, even during the dark year when they’d thought he was dead because obviously that wasn’t his fault.

She sat on the bottom step and just sat in silence with her best friend, with her sister. Silence was all she could really offer because she wasn’t sure what to say. How does one respond to the news that your oldest friend had destroyed his marriage with sex and drugs?

“What did he say when you left?” Emily asked finally.

Elizabeth sighed and leaned back, resting her elbows on the step behind them. “He couldn’t understand why I couldn’t forgive him since he was willing to forgive me for sleeping with Patrick.”

Emily frowned. “But you didn’t sleep with Patrick. Everyone who knows anything knows he’s been chasing Robin.  And even if he hadn’t been, why would Lucky think that?”

“Because I was seen going into a hotel with Patrick on more than one occasion,” Elizabeth replied. “Back when I was doing that side job for him.”

“But it was the drugs, right?” Emily asked apprehensively. “If he hadn’t been on the drugs—”

“I can only blame so much of it on the drugs,” Elizabeth replied quietly. “For him to leap to the conclusion that I was having an affair so quickly, it’s just…I’m not comfortable with that.”

“And you shouldn’t have to be,” Emily replied loyally. “You know, I know better than anyone how drug addiction can ruin your life. I went through it, my dad went through it. AJ with the alcohol…” she sighed. “I’ve made mistakes like Lucky has so a really big part of me wants to tell you to hang in there and to give him another chance.” She held up a hand to ward off Elizabeth’s protesting answer. “But I’ve also been on the other side of the addiction and sometimes, you have to protect yourself. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first.”

“It’s more than just me,” Elizabeth replied. “It’s Cameron. He’s my whole world and I can’t—I can’t let him live like this. He needs a stable environment, he needs a mother who’s focused on him and not worrying about her addict husband. If it were just me, I’d be willing to consider counseling and maybe I could see my way to at least waiting until Lucky was out of rehab before making any decisions.”

“You have to do what’s right for you, Elizabeth,” Emily told her. “And what’s right for your son. I’ll support you.” She smiled faintly. “But I’m not abandoning Lucky either. I’m going to support him through this, too.”

“I hope he gets clean,” Elizabeth said. “I hope he puts his life back together, I really do. But I can’t sit around and wait for that day.”

April 5, 2016

I forgot to mention in yesterday’s post that I update little writing statuses on CG’s Facebook page. I’ll mention if I’m working on something, how things are going, etc. It’s a bit more informal than here, so make sure you like the page on Facebook.  You’ll see a bit more activity from me there than you might here between updates, so if you’re ever worried if I’ve, you know, died, haha, the Facebook page is probably the best way to keep up.

April 4, 2016

I’m not sure how this happened, but here we are in April. Nothing about this semester at school has worked out quite as I hoped.  When I went back full-time for my undergraduate degree in 2009, I pretty much disapeared from the fandom and fanfiction altogether. I managed to write during the year I was in graduate school because that program wasn’t very demanding and I only worked last year. I’m going to have to fight to keep that from happening again.

Since January, I’ve been sick with a stomach virus and a sinus infection. I’ve juggled two graduate reading seminars with online classes and Macroeconomics (which  I mostly had to teach to myself because the teacher wasn’t really effective). I’ve also worked three days a week, looked after my nieces and nephew, dealt with the general responsibilities of being the only single member of my family who can take care of everyone — and my best friend is getting married in a wedding in June where I’m the maid of honor.

Since the beginning of the year, since finishing The Best Thing, I’ve literally written maybe three full chapters of anything. I’ve edited, refined, reoutlined, but I haven’t really had a minute to write. It’s been…it’s just not been what I had hoped. I can’t even find time to read for fun anymore, much less write fanfiction.  I’m also about to enter the worst month of the semester — as a history student, I don’t just have finals, I have final papers. I have a 12-20 page paper, another 8-10, plus finals in all those classes–yeah, April is a pain. And my beta, Cora, is also a college student, so you can imagine the insanity of two college students trying to find time for this stuff

That being said, I do have nine chapters written of Bittersweet, five of which are with Cora. I’m hopeful to have the first chapter up either this week or next. I’ll be posting them Thursdays to keep room for Damaged (which is on my schedule, but talk about not having time…) I’ll finish the last scene for Chapter 10 in Bittersweet, and send those five to her, which should give me a decent buffer zone to get through the second week of May. Then…school ends. The wedding stuff takes a bit of a breather before the ceremony in June. I’ll be working, but I was able to write last year while that was going on.

I am going to get back on track. I have not disappeared. But as much as I would love to do nothing but sit at home and write fanfiction, no one’s paying me to do that, ha, and I have to do my real life stuff first. This is the worst part of being an adult.

In the mean time, I have more than a hundred stories on this website, with an archive that goes back thirteen years. Please please take the time to read, or even reread. I can’t think of many Liason authors still around from 2002 who are not only still (sort of) active, but also have their full backlist up for consumption and work as hard as I do to make them readable for you. I love you guys, believe me, I think about this site and my stories in all my spare times — but I just….I can’t get my schedule together yet. I will be posting soon. I’m excited for you guys to see what I’ve done with Bittersweet.