Author Archives: Melissa

September 9, 2020

Note: Apologies for the framing and lighting in this video. I filmed it around 9 at night on Sunday, and I ended up cutting off my head from the frame — and the whole thing filmed with me way off center so I had to crop and scale a lot. LOL. I’m learning, I promise!

 

General Writing

  • Hello! Apologies for this update being delayed by a little over a week.  I had a rough August and trouble sleeping for two straight weeks which really messed with my productivity. I wanted to wait for my medication to kick in and get back on track before I sat down to think about what else I want to do in September.
  • I haven’t been able to lock up a long-term teaching position yet this year, and both my school districts are closed for the month of September because neither passed the Covid building requirements.
  • That means I’m home at least for September unless something changes. That’s good for the writing, lol. And don’t worry about me — I kind of half expected to be in this position and I started saving in May for it. I’ve got enough in my savings to get through November, and well — let’s just hope things look different then.
  • As for the writing, I’m feeling pretty productive these days. As long as I listen to my brain and take days when I should and take breaks, it’s been pretty easy to just sit down and write when I want to write.

Site & Channel

Channel

  •  I need to film new updates for Mad World and Fool Me Twice, I know. I had two videos made but I didn’t get a chance to edit them and they’re enough out of date that I want to update them.
  • One of the things I do I want to finish is the Channel section on the site with each video having a page so I can be ready to do transcripts when I can get to them.

Site

  • I’ve been working like crazy on the Facelift the last few weeks. I made an EPIC checklist that I still add things to but it has pretty much everything I want to do. This list is definitely more for me than you guys because it keeps my brain organized.
  • One of the big projects I’m working is organizing my screencap collection by scene and date. The reason I want to do this is I want to make lots of graphics for my stories, but I tend to use the same screencaps over and over again.
  • Plus — my screencaps have been in folders where there are thousands in one folder which Photoshop struggles to open effectively.
  • This just makes my life so much easier and I’ll be able to get to the rest of the Alternate History overhaul faster. For example, the newest 2001 Flash Fiction, The Ghost in the Girl, has graphics because I had already organized 2001 by date and it was super easy to find them and use them.
  • I re-launched my soap commentary blog with daily snark recaps and a weekly commentary column: Crimson Suds.

Story Updates

Mad World

Book 3

  • Book 3 was completed on Saturday and posted at Patreon for my $5 and above supporters. It’s 25 chapters and around 156k words. I’m taking the week off to let it sit before beginning my final round of edits for typos, inconsistencies, and flow.
  • I’m so happy with how this new material is coming together. When I separated Book 3 from the new Book 4, I had about 90k words — I’ve added 50k to this draft with a plan to add 10k more before I’m done.
  • Patreon Release for $7 supporters is October 1. I’m trying very hard to get Patreon supporters a better preview — optimally, I’d like you guys to be a month ahead of release, but so far it hasn’t been possible.
  • The general release is October 6 to let me catch any last typos and schedule all the chapters.

Book 4

  •  I’m starting a light edit on Book 4 this week. Having finished Book 3, I want to plan the big structural changes in Book 4, so I can make sure Book 3 flows into it well while still feeling like its own narrative.
  • Book 4 will go into full beta draft revisions in October. I’ll do the big round of edits — major additions of new scenes and new chapters in October, then the second round in November to polish it up.
  • The general release is in December, probably December 8.
  • If you read the first draft of both books (Patreon Supporters $3 and above), Book 3 ends with the wedding and Book 4 begins the day after.
  • I don’t have a ton for you guys on Book 4 because I haven’t really played with it too much, but I have some really fun changes and expansion ideas. I’ll have more information for you in October’s video.

Flash Fiction

Revisions

  • Thanks to a vote at Crimson Glass, Desperate Measures is the first Flash Fiction series that I’m revising into a novella/novel. At the moment, it’s around 55 scenes which puts it into novel word count territory.
  • I’m not sure how long it will take to write it, but it’s definitely the flash fiction I need to rework the least — I’ll be able to clean up big pieces of scenes, but I’m also adding more teens, more context, and building in more Liason scenes.
  • After DM is completed, I’ll have enough vote for the next revision. Because DM had such a huge win, I want anyone who voted for DM to have a chance to ask for the next revision.

New Series

  • I’ve launched all of the new series, and so far, I’m feeling more confident. I’m taking an hour to write these entries so that they’re longer which hopefully makes up for not updating twice a week. I learned so much from the first round of fiction, and I’m hoping that I won’t need to do so much revising in this round if that makes sense. I’m trying to write these and plan these to minimize the editing needed to pull it into a mainstream story.
  • In the video, I talked a bit more at length about Not Knowing When being set in 2002, and what I’m hoping to bring to it. I haven’t written this specific time period (October 2002) since 2002, so it’s fun to get back into it since my perspective has changed.
  • For A King’s Command — I had some readers who were surprised that I was rewriting it. In fact, some of you seemed disappointed. I’m so sorry for any misunderstandings. The way I approach flash fiction has changed since I wrote the first version, and I had written myself into a corner with the old version. While I’m happy to revisit old ideas from earlier flash fictions, I will always be rewriting them.
  • The 2001 rewrite has its first short story planned — I have 2-3 part story set after the Face of Deception photoshoot. I don’t know yet if it’ll be 2 parts or 3 because it depends on how long it takes to write it. This is the first story I’ve written set in this period of GH, mostly because I wasn’t actively watching and by the time I got into Liason, The Canvas writers had written about it so well I wasn’t sure what I could add. That being said, I’m more comfortable with my own voice and what I bring to a story, so I’m dipping my toe in.

Fool Me Twice

  •  I’m working on chapter breakdown, and I’m really looking forward to writing this one starting in October. There’s so much great stuff that I’ve planned which makes me very happy that I took a minute and reset after last year.
  • Moving the starting point to Jason’s return is really letting me work in the teens better as well as open up a more interesting revelation of Jason’s identity and set up other characters.
  • I don’t know yet how long Book 1 will be, but I should know by the end of the week.
  • I’m not that nervous about going into the first draft of this while working on a beta draft of Book 4. I’ve learned a lot about my process, and I’ve also learned to be very patient with myself in the first few weeks of an alpha draft. I don’t need to write a chapter every day — which was the pressure I was putting on myself back in April.

September 7, 2020

Your Update Link: Not Knowing When – Part 2

In Case You Missed It: The Ghost in the Girl – Part 1

Happy Monday! I have a baby-sitting thing later today, and while I should be home by 7, I wasn’t positive and I really didn’t want to miss a chance to write the next part of this today. The group of scenes in today’s post and next week’s are the first scenes I got in my head for this story, so it’s always fun to write the stuff that inspired you. I should be back on the 7 PM schedule Wendesday.

I hope, with the story I posted yesterday, that you guys are enjoying the new round of series 🙂

I’m going to be digging (lightly) into some plans for the beta draft for Book 4 of Mad World this week, and finishing up my 2002 screencaps. I worked on June today, and man — I got annoyed Elizabeth all over again. Jason put up with some real bullshit from her ass back then. LOL. It also gave me some ideas for other early 2002 stories, but they’re on the back burner for now.

I know I still owe you a September status update — I filmed it last night, and now I just have to edit it and update the post. I’m hoping to have it done tomorrow, but definitely by Wednesday. Have a great day!

This entry is part 2 of 16 in the Flash Fiction: Not Knowing When

Written in 51 minutes. Time for basic spell check.

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

Sonny scowled into the phone, rubbed his forehead. “I’m not asking you to shoot the fucking plane out of the sky! Just keep them at the airport in Vegas as long as you can—” He glanced at the clock on the desk. It was a quarter after midnight. If they could hold Jason at the airport for just fifteen more minutes — Sonny could be in the air by one.

He’d be less than a half hour behind them —

Why the hell were Jason and Brenda going to Las Vegas? Who went to Vegas in the middle of the night with no word to the people in their lives?

Idiots. That’s who.

And there was only one reason to sneak away to Vegas without a word.

Sonny didn’t know which one of them he was going to kill first —

He yanked open the door to find Max standing there. “Call down to the garage,” he started, but then the elevator doors opened, and Elizabeth practically fell out of them as she turned the corner towards Jason’s penthouse —

“Elizabeth?” Sonny said, stepping out into the hallway. “He’s not there—”

Elizabeth whirled around to face him, her eyes wide, her pupils tiny pinpricks. “What? Why? Where—” She pressed a hand to her chest, took a deep breath. “I need—I need help.”

“I gathered that if you’re storming the penthouse at midnight,” Sonny said. He squinted. But maybe the universe was giving him a break. If Sonny couldn’t talk Jason and Brenda out of this madness—

Jason would never do this if Elizabeth was in the room.

“Max, call down to the garage,” he said, looking at the guard. “Get a limo ready. Elizabeth and I are heading to the airport.”

“Uh, okay, Boss. Do you need me to grab luggage—”

“No, I can get what I need on the ground,” Sonny said. He turned back to Elizabeth whose face was stark white. “You can tell me what happened on the way to the airport.”

“The airport?” Elizabeth shook her head. “What? Why? What’s going on—”

Sonny pressed the button for the elevator, then ushered her on board. “Jason’s in trouble and he needs you.”

“He—” Elizabeth stared at him, blankly as the doors closed. “What? Is he hurt? Did—” She swallowed. “Did he ask for me?”

Sonny didn’t even think. “Yes,” he said, because if he didn’t lie, she might not go with him.

And he needed to stop whatever was happening in Vegas.

“Oh,” Elizabeth said shakily. “I didn’t—okay. Okay, well, you should send someone down to Pier 52. There might be a body.”

Sonny closed his eyes. “What happened?” he asked.

Airplane: Jason & Brenda

Somewhere over the Midwest, as Jason took out his phone and adjusted the time zone to Vegas time, he saw that he had three missed calls from Sonny. He turned off the phone, looked at Brenda was curled up on a sofa on the other side of the plane. “Sonny called.”

Brenda frowned, looked at him. “Why? Is there a chance he knows—”

“No,” Jason said after a moment. But maybe someone at the airport had called about Jason taking the private jet. They should have flown commercial but Jason didn’t want their names showing up on a flight list.

The whole point of this was to make Brenda safe and he didn’t want Alcazar tracking her movements.

“So what have you been up to lately?” Brenda asked. She folded her arms, then unfolded them and laid them at her side.

“Nothing,” Jason said shortly.

“Friendly as ever,” she muttered. “I guess if you had a life you wouldn’t be marrying me.” She glared at him. “So no one other than Sonny is going to be mad about this?”

Jason hesitated. Oh, man, he really hadn’t thought that far ahead. What if he was wrong—what if he went back to Port Charles, legally married to another woman, and Elizabeth—

“Jason, if you’re having second thoughts—”

“No,” Jason said finally. “It’s too late.”

Airplane: Sonny & Elizabeth

Elizabeth looked at her watch, then twisted the band back and forth. “Where are we going?” she asked Sonny.

“Why were you down at Pier 52?” Sonny asked, once again declining to answer any of her questions. He’d thrown her into a limo, they’d boarded a jet waiting at the airport, and he’d spent the first hour of the flight in another room of the plane, on the phone with someone.

“I was just walking,” Elizabeth said. “I didn’t want to go home yet.” She rubbed the cheek. “I wasn’t paying attention—”

“Why didn’t you have a guard?” Sonny said with a growl. “Damn it. Don’t tell me Jason let you go back to the penthouse without a guard? You were living there for six weeks. You think Alcazar doesn’t know about you?”

Elizabeth stared him, then squinted. “I—I don’t—I didn’t—” She chewed on her lip. “I don’t know,” she said. “I had Marco when I was living there. He took me to Kelly’s and back.” But he hadn’t gone with her when she’d left.

“Just lucky Alcazar didn’t grab you before this for leverage,” Sonny muttered. “After all the crap Jason did to get you out that damn crypt, he probably would have sold me out to get you back.”

“I—” Elizabeth’s eyes bulged. “What are you talking about? I don’t—” She shook her head. “No. I don’t matter like that. Jason said I didn’t—” She looked away, out the window. “He said it wasn’t about me,” she said softly.

“Well, then you misunderstood,” Sonny bit out. “Clearly.”

If Jason was asking for her—then she must have. Just as that lifted her spirits for a moment, they plummeted. “How hurt is he, Sonny?” Elizabeth asked. She looked at him, met his eyes. “Was he shot? Is—is he going—is that we had to come in the middle of the night like this? Where are we going?”

“I’ll answer everything when we get there,” Sonny said. “Just—just trust me. Everything will be fine if everyone just trusts me.”

McCarran International Airport: Car Rentals

Brenda scowled, looked at her watch. “It’s two AM. How can there not be a single car available in all of Las Vegas?” she demanded.

Jason rubbed his eyes, looked at the woman he was going to marry shortly, and glared. “It might be two AM, but it’s six AM in Port Charles, which means I’ve been awake for forty-eight hours.”

“Well, that would be your problem, not mine. Get some sleep like a normal human,” she shot back. She looked at the clerk who snapped to attention when she slapped a hand on the counter. “I want a car. Now. I don’t care how old it is, how crappy—”

“Perhaps a taxi—”

Jason dragged his hands over his face. This was such a mistake. At every single step of this trip, they’d been delayed. First, the flight plan had taken forever, then they had had to circle the airport for twenty minutes before they were cleared to land—

And now—now they couldn’t even rent a car.

Jason hated being driven around. He hated taxis. Hated not knowing his driver. You couldn’t trust them—

He exhaled slowly, looked at the clerk. “I want a car. Now,” he said, in a flat tone. This time, the clerk swallowed and nodded.

“I can see if we can move another reservation around,” he said in a weak voice. He started furiously typing on his computer.

“Finally, using your powers for good,” Brenda said. She wrinkled her nose. “Can you come with me the next time I go shopping? I could use a discount since all my money was given to charity after I died—”

“Brenda—” Jason bit off the harsh words he’d been out to say. “Look, it’s the middle of the night. Do you want to check into a hotel and get a few hours of sleep—”

“No. Not yet. After.” Brenda stared ahead at the bland gray walls of the car rental department. “Let’s get this over with.” She flicked a glance at him, and he could see the nerves in her eyes.

It was one thing to suggest this in his penthouse in Port Charles. It was another to have actually flown across the country to Las Vegas and be literally one stop away from getting married.

Something that had made some sort of sense almost eight hours earlier —

“Al right,” Jason said. Probably for the best — if they stopped now, they might not go through with it at all.

Limo: Route 15

Elizabeth stared at out the dim windows at the blinking and glittering lights of the Las Vegas strip, her suspicions and worry mixing into a strange sense of dread. When she’d first seen the bright lights as they’d prepared to land, she’d looked at Sonny, demanding to know why they were in Vegas.

Why was Jason in Vegas?

But Sonny had just shrugged. “Business.” Which meant Elizabeth was supposed to shut up and let it go.

And she tried to. Reminded herself that she’d seen The Godfather—she knew that Vegas was a mob town underneath the glitz and glamor. It wasn’t a stretch that Sonny had business out here — that Jason would be doing something for him here.

But Sonny was acting strangely—irritated with Jason—irritated with Elizabeth—as if whatever Jason had done — it was pissing him off.

And if he was angry at Jason—why had he brought Elizabeth? If she hadn’t shown up at the penthouse at the same time he was leaving—

Would he have called or picked her up?

Then the limo pulled into a parking lot for a large building with a blinking light over top — A Chapel of Love — 24 Hour Weddings!

Elizabeth looked at Sonny. “I’m not going in there until you tell me what the hell is going on,” she said. She folded her arms. “You have dragged me across the country, refused to tell me if Jason is alive or dead—and now—now we’re in Vegas at one of these stupid wedding chapels—”

“Jason’s—he’s hiding. Okay?” Sonny snapped. He shoved the door open. “You know better. We have work with what we’ve got He got himself here, and now he needs us to get him somewhere safe.”

She bit her lip, and there was just enough truth in that statement that she slid across the leather seat and stepped out of the car. If she went inside, at least Sonny would be out of time — if she didn’t find out what the hell was going on after all this —

“Fine. But this is the last place I’m going. I want answers.”

“You’ll have them,” Sonny promised. “I’m doing this for all of us.”

“Sonny—”

“Let’s just go.”

A Chapel of Love: Main Chapel

This was stupid. This was the dumbest thing Jason had ever done, and he had done a lot of idiotic things since he’d woken up in the hospital six years earlier.

He was standing next to a woman that he barely even tolerated on a good day, preparing to legally marry her and take care of her until whatever disease was eating her brain killed her —

He was marrying another woman, and the longer he thought about it, the more Jason thought this was probably not the best way to convince Elizabeth that he was sorry about the lying. And maybe he should be doing that.

But this was a runaway train, and Jason turned to look at Brenda, to start their vows. Her face was pale as well.

They both knew this was stupid, but neither of them were going to admit it first.

“Are you ready for your vows?” The officiant asked Jason. He checked the paper. “Uh, Jason, do you promise to take Brenda to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish—”

This was insane—Jason opened his mouth to interrupt him, to stop this because there was no way in hell he was going to promise to do any of that —

But then the double doors at the end of the room were thrown open. Jason and Brenda both turned to look at the same time Sonny strode through the doors, his face florid with fury — but Jason didn’t see him. Barely registered his presence—

He only saw Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was just behind Sonny, her eyes taking in the room, the garish decorations, the empty pews—before finally looking at him. At the woman next to her.

—

Elizabeth stared at Jason, blinking rapidly because at some point, the nightmare would dissolve and she’d wake up.

Sonny had dragged her across the country to stop a wedding.

To stop Jason’s wedding.

Jason’s wedding to Brenda.

She tore her eyes away from Jason’s startled gaze to look at Sonny. “You son of bitch,” Elizabeth bit out. Sonny looked at her, frowning.

“Uh, that’s him, not me — he’s the one marrying—”

She didn’t let him finish. Instead, she curled her hand into a fist, tucking her thumb inside to protect it, and let it fly.

Sonny grunted, falling back, holding his hands over his nose, spurting blood.

Then Elizabeth spun on her heel and fled. She dimly heard someone—Jason—calling her name—

But she just ran.

—

“Damn it,” Sonny winced, barely even noticing as Jason ran past him after Elizabeth. He turned to Brenda who was sauntering down the aisle. She planted a hand on her hip and glared.

“Two questions,” she snarled. “One, who the hell was that? And two, why the hell do you only show up at my weddings when you’re trying to stop them?”

September 6, 2020

Your Update Link: The Ghost in the Girl – Part 1 

I’m so excited! This is literally the first story I have ever written set in 2001! I’m anxious and nervous to dip my toe into this time period because I wasn’t watching actively due to high school — it was my junior year and I don’t think I ever slept between classes and activities. I vaguely remember the Face of Deception and Carly getting recast, but I was out of the loop and Mom actually stopped taping on the VCR for a few years around this period.

I didn’t watch GH almost at all from the summer of 2000 through the summer of 2002 and it’s been harder to get caught up with that time period because YouTube didn’t exist at the time, and I’ve never really prioritized going back to watch it.  The Ghost in the Girl is the first of a few things I’ve planned for 2001, and I’m really excited to dig into these new stories.  I included a thorough show recap to orient you to the time period and specific scene.

In other AMAZING news, I finished the beta draft for Mad World, Book 3 yesterday and posted it at Patreon for supporters $5 and above. I’m insanely proud of it, but I’m also glad to have a bit of a break, LOL. I’m taking this week to look at the construction of Book 4 so I can make the final round of edits for Book 3 starting next weekend. Starting the week of September 22, I’ll be posting a sneak preview of the first chapter — then another chapter the week after before releasing the entire book on October 6.

See you guys tomorrow with the next part of Not Knowing When!

This entry is part 1 of 3 in the Flash Fiction: Sunday Rewrites

Recap

When Jason returned to town for a brief visit at the end of January 2001, he needed a place to stay with a view of the docks. Elizabeth let him stay in the studio, while keeping it a secret from everyone else. Over the next few weeks, it was clear they were both crushing on each other — though Elizabeth didn’t really seem to realize it, and Jason did.  Jason was forced to reveal his existence when he saved Sonny after a warehouse fire, and Elizabeth, seeing Jason come out of the warehouse, seemed to recognize for the first time that she had feelings. Lucky also saw her seeing Jason come out of the fire — and didn’t miss the looks they exchanged. Jason moved out of the studio and to a room at Jake’s. Lucky later asked Elizabeth to stop seeing Jason, and she reluctantly agreed.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth and Lucky were struggling with their own relationship woes. Lucky was working at Deception as a photographer and convinced Elizabeth to go out for the Face of Deception spot, sparring with Gia Campbell for the position. Elizabeth was uncomfortable with it, but Lucky was excited and she agreed. Carly and Laura who were running Deception at that point battled over who should be the Face — but Laura with the bigger share of the company won.

On the day Elizabeth fled to Jake’s and Jason, she had been at a Face of Deception photoshoot, dressed as Audrey Hepburn from Tiffany’s. It was in the same studio where Tom Baker had held Elizabeth and Emily hostage in 1998, but Elizabeth seemed to get over her nerves and begin the shoot. She did her best, but Carly disagreed and was really aggressively critical of Elizabeth’s posture. Lucky and Laura both defended Elizabeth, but when asked by Carly to say Elizabeth was the better model other than Gia, Lucky couldn’t or wouldn’t, and frustrated, upset, Elizabeth left.  She went to Jake’s, and Jason took her in, worried. Elizabeth tried to take off the heavy makeup she was wearing, but worried about ruining the long white gloves she was wearing. Jason started to wash her face.

Hence the scene in the in the banner and the kiss that wasn’t.

Until now.

Written in 60 minutes. No time for spell check or typos.

Part One

March 13, 2001

Jake’s: Jason’s Room

Elizabeth Webber could feel his breath against his lips, the scent of his aftershave lingering — Jason Morgan had fastened those beautiful blue eyes of his on hers — then dropped them to her lips, leaned in — and paused.

She should pull away.

She should absolutely stop this.

But another voice—the devil on her shoulder, the ever present reminder of who she’d been one — her Lizzie voice reminded her that she’d been such a good girl lately, and what had it earned her?

Nothing but humiliation. Standing in that studio, listening to Carly Corinthos deride Elizabeth’s looks, her figure, the way she stood, the way she smiled—picked her apart until Elizabeth thought everyone could see her bleeding —

And her own boyfriend couldn’t even muster the ability to say that his own girlfriend was more important that Gia, the woman Elizabeth had defeated for the job he insisted she deserved fair and square.

She’d been the good and dutiful girlfriend, agreeing not to see Jason anymore, to become a model, to stand in that studio of all places where Tom Baker had terrorized her barely two years ago —

And for what?

When Jason paused, Elizabeth knew why. His breath was quicker—his hand still on her face, his wrist against her cheek—his pulse had picked up. This man—this gorgeous, sexy man wanted to kiss her but he’d stopped.

Because it needed to be her choice. He wanted it to be her decision. It had to be something she wanted.

And what she wanted mattered to him.

What could be sexier than that?

So Elizabeth shut down the good girl inside of her that screaming, and listened to Lizzie for the first time in three years.

She leaned in, brushing her mouth against his, against the smoothness of his lips. Jason’s breath intake was shape—he hadn’t expected it—but that moment of surprised disappeared in an instant as his mouth became more insistent, covering her hungrily.

Elizabeth snaked an arm around his neck, moaning as Jason stood, lifting her against him. One of his hands speared through her hair, dislodging the up swept hair that had taken the stylist nearly an hour to achieve, the other arm was around her waist, holding her up. She clung to him, his chest hard against her softness—

Then Jason stopped—he drew back, carefully setting her down on her feet, the pads of his thumbs sweeping over her cheeks. Their breathing shallow, their eyes met for a long moment before Jason rested his forehead against hers.

It was some time before Elizabeth could form any words—before coherent thought set in. And even when she could form them —

What could she say?

She knew what she should say.

She should tell him it was a mistake.

Jason’s thumb slid across her lips before falling away, and she nearly protested — she wanted him to keep touching her—to kiss her again — to make the world fall away again —

“Should I apologize?” Jason managed finally.

“Are you sorry?” Elizabeth said, her voice rusty. She cleared her throat, stepped back, her knees brushing the back of the bed. But she didn’t sit down.

Jason studied her for a long moment, then shook her head. “No,” he admitted.

“G-Good.” Elizabeth licked her lips, and her stomach fluttered when his eyes dropped to her mouth again. Oh my God. I just want to lick him everywhere.

“B-Because I kissed you,” she continued. She pressed a hand to her belly, trying to calm the butterflies that swirled inside.

“I—” Jason exhaled slowly. Carefully. He stepped back, a foot of space separating them. “I know.”

“I need a minute,” Elizabeth admitted. She edged away from him, toward the other side of the room. She rubbed her neck, her hand encircling her throat. “I wasn’t—um, that wasn’t the plan when I came here.”

“I didn’t think it was.”

“I just—” She bit her lip. “I think it’s obvious that I have—that I—” Elizabeth closed her eyes. Honesty. Jason respected honesty. With that in mind, she opened them and looked at him directly. “I have feelings for you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Elizabeth—”

“It’s important to me that I don’t hurt you. Because you matter so much. You shouldn’t,” she said quickly, her voice tightening. “Because I’ve got everything I wanted. Everything I’m supposed to want.”

Jason just stared at her and she broke the gaze, rubbing her finger against her mouth again. “It’s so strange,” she murmured. “Before you came home, I would have said I was happy. But I’m not. And I haven’t been. When did that change? When did Lucky change?” She looked back at Jason. “How can someone change right in front of you with you noticing? I—”

She sat on the bed, staring blindly at the dingy paint on the wall. “I keep telling myself that he’s so excited about this new job that he just can’t hear me right now. And I want him to be happy. He’s had such a hard time since he came home finding something again. He kept telling me all the dreams we’d had once—those were for kids. Going to the city, living on art and music—just a silly dream.”

Jason carefully sat on the bed, keeping several feet between them. “Why is it silly?”

“That’s what I wanted to know. And if he didn’t want music anymore, well, why did that mean my dreams had to change? Why can’t I have dreams of my own?” Elizabeth looked at him, tears stinging her lashes. “Why do I have to share his dream? Why do I have to dress like this and pretend that I like being a model? Carly was right.”

Jason’s mouth pinched. “Carly doesn’t think—”

“No, she just says whatever she’s thinking.” Elizabeth smiled, faintly. “I used to be like that. I used to be in the moment. What I wanted, I took, and I didn’t think much about other people.”

She stared at her manicured nails, at the clear polish, wishing it was the red polish she preferred, even with it’s chipped. “I keep telling myself that Lucky can’t hear me right now,” she repeated, “because I need to believe that he’ll hear me eventually. But I think—” She met Jason’s eyes. “I think he does hear me. And he just doesn’t care. And that’s—” Her voice trembled. “That’s really hard to admit. That what I want and need isn’t important to the one person it should matter to the most.”

“I’m sorry—” Jason paused. “Elizabeth—”

“I just—I don’t want to hurt you,” Elizabeth repeated. “Because I do—this—this feels real. The way I feel when you look at me—but I’m just scared that it’s because I’m unhappy with the rest of my life. I shouldn’t—” She sighed, looked away.

“You shouldn’t what?”

“When we became friends, you were an escape,” she confessed, “a way to get away from all the things that hurt me. The pieces of my life that were suffocating me. I didn’t have to think or be anything when I was with you. And I shouldn’t need that anymore.”

Jason said nothing, and she couldn’t bare to look at him. She didn’t want to know if she was hurting him. She just couldn’t keep lying to herself.

“How can I tell myself I’m in love with Lucky and feel this way about you?” Elizabeth murmured. “How does that even work?”

She shoved herself to her feet, dragging her hands across her face, then through her hair. “You know, I talked to Lucky about wanting to see Italy one day.”

Now she looked at him, saw Jason inhale sharply, then let out a slow breath. “What did he say?”

“He said that maybe Deception could sponsor a photo shoot there and we could go that way. And I—I said that if I went there working—how would I see the art and museums and just exist? He laughed at me.”

Jason got to his feet with a scowl. “He laughed—”

“When was I going to give up on my silly dream?” Elizabeth murmured. “When was I going to grow up?”

“Elizabeth—”

“I should have seen it then. He didn’t believe me in me anymore. And, God, that’s almost worst than the rest of it. He was the first person who ever saw me. And now—now I don’t even trust those memories. It’s not the now he’s destroying, it’s the before. I don’t know what was real. If I ever knew him at all.”

“I’m sorry,” Jason said. “I don’t—I’m sorry.”

She met his eyes, and he looked so upset, his eyes pained. “Jason—”

“I know how much your art means to you. How much Lucky believing in you meant. It was the first thing I ever learned about you,” he continued. “When your professor didn’t like that portrait of him—” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth. And I don’t want to make things worse—”

“You couldn’t,” she assured him softly. “I just—I need time. I need—I need to sort myself out. I can’t—I can’t let myself travel down this road with you until I know it’s—” She pressed her lips together. “Which is so conceited because I don’t even know what you want—”

“What I want,” Jason told her, sliding a piece of hair behind her ear, his fingers trailing down her neck to her collar bone. “What I want is for you to be happy. To see you smile again with your whole face. You’re so beautiful,” he murmured.

Elizabeth’s cheeks heated and she bit her lip. “Jason—”

“Whether that’s with me or alone—” Jason paused, “or even with Lucky,” he added with a pained tone, “if you’re really happy—that’s what I want.”

“Okay,” Elizabeth drew out, “but do you, um, have a preference?” She tipped her head up, met his eyes.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice little more than a whisper as he leaned down to kiss her—just one more time.

“Oh man,” Elizabeth muttered when he pulled back. She let her head drop against his chest. “It wasn’t a fluke, was it?”

“No,” Jason said with a shake of his head, the corner of his mouth curving up. “No, it wasn’t. Do you want a ride home?”

“I should probably take a cab,” she admitted as she stepped back. “I don’t think this dress travels well on a bike. And I need—I need to think.”

Studio

Elizabeth wasn’t entirely surprised to find Lucky pacing the room when she unlocked the door. He stopped at the sound of her key in the lock, then turned to glare at her. “Where have you been?” she demanded.

Elizabeth arched her brow, closed the door behind her, and looked at her boyfriend, waiting for the mixture of guilt and nerves to set in. She’d run to another man, let him hold her, then kiss her—

And the guilt never came.

Because she’d been upset when she’d left, and Lucky didn’t seem to care about that.

“I don’t think that’s the question you should be asking me,” Elizabeth said coolly. She set her purse on her table, then removed her scarf and jacket. “I forgot my phone at Kelly’s.”

“And what should I be asking?” Lucky retorted, his hands clenched into fists at his waist. “You embarrassed me and wasted a whole lot of people’s time and money when you stormed off—”

“Stormed off,” Elizabeth said. She folded her arms. “You mean when I left the studio after being insulted repeatedly by one of the owners of the company—”

“That’s just Carly—”

“I don’t want to be a model, Lucky,” Elizabeth said, flatly. “And Carly just sees it better than the rest of you. So I’m going to thank your mother for her time—”

“Elizabeth!”

“—but we both know it should be Gia.” She took a deep breath even as his features folded into a thunderous mask of anger. “And that’s not the only change I’m making.”

“How can you do this to me?” he demanded.

“You can photograph Gia. Your dreams are not mine,” she said. “I don’t want it. And you don’t have the right to force them on me—”

“It was our dream—”

“Because you wanted it, and I wanted you to be happy. But I don’t want it for me. I want to be an artist—” She stopped. “I am an artist—”

Lucky rolled his eyes. “Again? With this? Come on—”

“And since you can’t believe in me, then I guess we should start thinking about seeing other people.”

Lucky’s mouth hung open for a long moment as his eyes bulged at her. “What did you just say to me? Are you—”

“We’re clearly not seeing eye to eye, we’re arguing all the time,” Elizabeth continued, “and I’m not happy—”

“This is because of Jason,” he said with a sneer. “Because of him—he’s poisoned you against me—”

“This is because of me. Because I need to know what I want, and I can’t do that with you shoving your dreams on me—”

“Damn it, tell me the truth!” Lucky demanded. “Is this about Jason?”

She met his angry eyes directly, then nodded. “I have feelings for him. And I don’t know if they’re real or if they’re just because I’m unhappy. So I need a break from all of it—”

“That’s bullshit.” Lucky sliced his hand through the air. “You don’t need anything except to stay the hell away from Jason—”

“I need you to leave.” Elizabeth opened the door and gestured at the hallway. “Now.”

Lucky’s throat bobbed as he swallowed hard—not from nerves but from anger, from rage—and she really wanted him out of her studio right this second. Her pulse started to skitter as she wondered what she’d do if he didn’t leave.

“Fine,” Lucky snarled. “But you’ll come crawling back when he leaves again.” He stormed past her and out of the studio.

Elizabeth closed the door behind him, locked it, and exhaled slowly. She leaned back against the door, touched her lips, closed her eyes, and brought back the way Jason tasted.

No, she wouldn’t be crawling back.

September 4, 2020

Your Update: A King’s Command – Part 1

Happy Friday! This is an early update because I have a wedding this evening — and Monday’s update will probably be in the morning as well because my sister-in-law asked me to baby sit so she and my brother can go to dinner for their anniversary. I never get to see my babies enough, so I’m not passing on that chance — but we’ll be back on the schedule again on Wednesday.

This flash fiction series reworks an idea I had when I originally launched Flash Fiction a long time ago, and it was definitely the most requested of all my older series. I hope you guys enjoy this 🙂

I only have a few chapters left to edit for Mad World, so I’m super excited to be finishing that up and moving into the final round of edits. I can’t wait for you guys to read it it next month! I’ll probably be posting the first chapter or two as a sneak peeks when we get closer, so stay tuned for that!

In other knows, I posted the summary for Sunday’s 2001 flash fiction — I mentioned that these will be shorter stories and ficlets, and I had finished organizing my 2001 caps the other day so I was excited to get use some of them. I’m going to preview them here for you:

The Ghost in the Girl

Set March 2001. After Elizabeth storms out of the Face of Deception photoshoot because of Carly’s attack and Lucky’s failure to support her, she turns to Jason.

Status: Not Yet Published
Genre: Romance
Type: Flash Fiction Series
Characters: Jason, Elizabeth, Lucky, Emily, Nikolas, Gia, Carly, Sonny
Couples: Jason/Elizabeth

And here’s the banner:

This entry is part 1 of 27 in the Flash Fiction: A King's Command

This is an alternate universe historical romance. I think I said it was set in medieval Scotland, but it’s more like Renaissance, heh — early 1500s, just before the Reformation (I KNOW I KNOW I’M VERY OCD ABOUT HISTORICAL TERMS).

ANYWAY.

Very few of the names on GH are historical accurate to the time period or place, but I promise not to let it hurt my head if you promise to whistle past a Scottish laird named Jason. K? K. Cool.

Written in 52 minutes. Time for basic spell check.

Edinburgh, Scotland – 1514

The Royal Mile

Jason Morgan had only been invited twice to the royal capital since taking over the leadership of his clan — and neither invitation had been welcomed. Like any respecting Highland warrior, he preferred the hills and forests of his own land, not the pomp and circumstance of the monarchy.

But this was no longer the times of his grandfather or great-grandfather before him, when Highland chieftains could reign autonomously, and ignore anything outside their borders. Not with England encroaching every day — with an English princess marrying their Scottish king —

“Married the Angus,” his second, Francis, snorted at his side. He reigned in the horse as they turned down a street with market stalls and more people. “What a bloody stupid thing to do. Women—”

“At least he isn’t the regent,” Johnny O’Brien, the third of their trio said. “That must have stunned the Angus — married to the queen and none of the power.” He shook his head. “Poor bastard.”

Jason turned, cast a dark eye at both his clansmen. “Careful what you say and where,” he said flatly. “We haven’t had trouble with the Angus or the Douglases in a generation. I don’t care for them to remember the past.”

“Aye, well, if he’d been named regent instead of Albany,” Francis said with a sneer, “we’d have trouble right quick—”

They rode to the livery and turned over their horses, then went to seek rooms at the Red Lion just off the Royal Mile.

While Jason might not say it out loud, Francis was right to suspect that matters for the Morgans might have gone badly if Archibald Douglas, the sixth earl of Angus, had found himself with the powers of the regency upon marriage to Margaret Tudor, the widowed Scottish queen. Instead, control of the young James V had gone to John Stewart, Duke of Albany.

Jason’s father had courted woman that a Douglas had wanted — and while Alan Morgan had ultimately married another, Douglas men didn’t like to lose, and blamed the Morgan for the lass in question leaving Scotland for the royal court in London.

Archibald and his brothers didn’t seem to remember that, and Jason had every hope that the rivalry had died with their fathers.

All the same — best that the Angus wasn’t the regent with the powers of the king.

A few streets from the Red Lion, another Scottish family was checking into a larger, more stately set of lodgings. These were not a Highland clan, but a minor gentry from the Lowlands — might as well as be Sassanachs, some people sneered of the Lowland Webbers — indeed, their name was English as Jeffrey Webber’s forefathers had settled in Dumfries during a period when the county had been in English control.

A long ago Scottish king had ousted the invaders, and Dumfries had returned to the Scottish crown — but the Webbers had stayed.

Elizabeth Webber, the youngest of the baron’s three children, rode down the street with wide eyes — she had never traveled to the court before, but this time, her father hadn’t a choice. The new regent wanted to take stock of all the noble daughters and form alliances through marriage.

Elizabeth didn’t have much hope of being chosen for such an alliance—not while her elder sister, Sarah, was still unmarried. Classically beautiful with her blonde hair and blue eyes, tall and slender—Sarah was the perfect child.

And Elizabeth was the short, brunette freak that few people had even met.

“When we meet with the regent tomorrow,” Jeffrey snapped as he herded Elizabeth into the smallest of the rooms he’d rented, “you will not speak. You will stand behind your brother, and God willing, the regent will forget I have two daughters.”

Elizabeth dipped her chin, looking at the wooden floor. “Yes, Father.”

“If we are fortunate—no one will ever know what you are. And we will go home, and you will return to your life there.” His voice gentled slightly. “You will be protected there.”

Protected. Such a strange way to describe the life Elizabeth lived in Annan, her family’s estate. Locked in her room.

“You mean you will be protected,” Elizabeth said in a low voice. She raised her eyes to met her father’s. “No one will know your shame.”

Jeffrey’s mouth was tight. “We both have the same goal, Daughter. If you were discovered—”

“Aye, Father. I know.” Elizabeth folded her arms. “I will not speak unless the regent speaks directly to me.”

“Good. Stay here until we leave for the court in the morning,” Jeffrey told her. “I will bring your meals. The fewer people see you, the better we will be.”

He left the room, slamming it behind her. Elizabeth took in her surroundings, sighed at the lack of a window, but at least there was a cot and a table where she could sit. It could have been worse.

It often had been.

—

The next afternoon, Jason and his men were on the grounds of Holyrod Palace, awaiting their turn to speak and swear oaths of loyalty under the new regency — a useless exercise and one of the reasons Jason avoided the royal court like the plague.

He was grimacing at two idiots attempting to spar without an ounce of skill or training when a royal messenger appeared at his side. “Laird, His Grace, the Duke of Albany, wishes to speak with you. Now. Privately.”

Jason frowned, turned to the man with a suspicious glare. “Privately?” he repeated. “Why?”

“I cannot say, Laird. Only that he asks for your patience, discretion, and speed.” The messenger eyed Johnny and Francis ranging behind Jason. “Your men should remain here.”

“I don’t like it,” Francis hissed to Jason. “You’re unprotected—”

“And Albany has no quarrel with me.” Jason nodded at the messenger. “Lead the way.”

He followed the other man through a byzantine set of hallways, towards the interior of the palace and what Jason suspected to be the royal family’s private apartments.

“My Laid, the regent awaits you.” The messenger bowed, pushing open the door. Jason shook his head at the strangeness of the encounter, then focused on the room itself — a standard, nondescript meeting room.

John Stewart, the Duke of Albany was standing in the center, a tall, thin man who had seen only three and thirty years — and two strangers to Jason — a man and a woman — He instinctively narrowed his eyes, spying the tight hold the man had on the woman’s upper arm.

She was tiny, no higher than the man’s shoulder—brown curls peeked out of the headdress she wore, and her eyes were trained on the man holding —

She was frightened.

Jason scowled. “What is this, Your Grace?” he demanded. If this girl was attempting to entrap him into a marriage through some lie—

“Morgan.” Albany swept him forward. “Allow me to present one of my fiercest warriors,” he said to the pair across the room.

“I beg you, Your Grace, allow me to take my daughter away. I will take her home and you will never—”

“Hush, Baron,” Albany snapped. “The die has been cast. Jason Morgan is a Highland chieftain with a large holding in the north. And loyal to me. Am I wrong?” he turned to Jason.

“Nay,” Jason said, warily. “But I don’t—”

“This Baron Jeffrey Webber, and his youngest child, Elizabeth. How many summers have you, dear?” Albany asked the girl with a silky smile.

She swallowed hard. “Nineteen, Your Grace,” she said in a soft voice. “But my sister—”

“I have no need to worry about your sister,” Albany said with a shake of his hand. “And Baron, release her—”

“I—” The baron looked down at his hand where it was digging into the girl—Elizabeth’s—upper arm. He released her with almost a thrust and she stumbled away from him. She rubbed her upper arm, and now she was close enough that Jason could see tracks of tears on her cheeks.

“Your Grace—”

“Elizabeth has done a service to crown here today,” Albany told Jason. “And in return, I would like to see her rewarded with an alliance to a man worthy of that service.”

“What?”

They spoke at the same time — Jason with a roar of surprise, and Elizabeth with a shaken gasp. But it was the baron who was shaking his head.

“I cannot allow this, Your Grace. My elder daughter is much more suited—”

“Your eldest daughter is of no use to me,” Albany retorted. Jason narrowed his eyes at that, and Elizabeth just closed her eyes, folded her arms, and looked at the stone floor. “You will have to find another alliance for her.”

“Your Grace,” Jason began again, concerned that he was about to get in the middle of royal intrigue — a state of affairs he most certainly did not want to be involved in.

“‘Tis unnecessary, Your Grace,” Elizabeth said, her voice a bit stronger. She looked up now, her chin lifted. “I thank you for the honor—” She chanced a glance at him—then her eyes stayed on locked on his for a long moment before she looked back at the regent. “But I promise you, my father has—he has protected me all these years. I will be safe in Annan.”

There was something in the way she’d said those words—something that twisted Jason’s stomach — what did she mean that her father had protected her? What service?

“Do you not want a family, dear?” Albany asked, stalking towards her. “Are you uninterested in children?”

“I—” Elizabeth swallowed hard. “No. I should like a family. B-But—”

“Then we are well met. Jason has need of a wife—”

Jason frowned, but the regent ignored him. “And you are well above the age of marriage. Indeed, it is strange that none of your children have wed, Baron.” Albany arched a brow at him. “Have you been keeping them under lock and key in Annan?”

Elizabeth started at that, then quickly looked away as her father looked her furiously — and there it was — that strange feeling that something was not right. Is that what she’d meant about being protected? Had her father locked her up? Why?

“Of course not. I am merely careful with my children,” the baron said stiffly.

“Then allow me to reduce your problems. The ceremony will take place in St. Giles on the morn.” Albany turned away from them, sweeping his hand. “And that is the end of it.”

“Your Grace,” Jason began again, but then subsided when Albany merely arched a brow at him. He looked at Elizabeth, then at her father, and nodded. “I will be at the chapel,” he said tightly. “Am I dismissed, Your Grace?”

“Yes. Thank you, Morgan. You will see in time. I’ve done you a great favor.”

Jason didn’t look at his bride-to-be or her father as he left the room. Whatever secrets this girl was keeping — he could only pray that would not lead his clan into danger.

September 2, 2020

Your Update Link: A Shot in the Dark – Part 1 

Hello! Welcome to the second of the four new series. I’m so glad you guys liked Not Knowing When — it’s definitely fun for me to go back to that time period. I honestly haven’t written anything directly set after Elizabeth left the penthouse in October since 2003. I’ve spent a lot of time writing 2003 (A Few Words, Mad World), rewriting 2002 entirely (Bittersweet), 2004 (The Best Thing), and of course, 2006 (All We Are and For the Broken Girl), so it’s really fun to go back. And I haven’t written Brenda in YEARS so this one is going to be fun.

Today’s entry continues my Collect Your Regrets universe where I rewrite terrible Elizabeth stories. In the first story, I rewrote the maternity lie, and in this one — you might have guessed which story I’m rewriting by the ending of Darkest Before the Dawn.  I just remembered that I won’t be updating Friday night because I’ll be at a wedding, so I’ll update that one in the morning. We’ll be kicking off the Scottish historical

In other news — Mad World is zipping along great. I just finished Chapter 71 today. I’m going to be writing 72 and 73 the rest of this week, then editing the last two chapters on Saturday, which means I’ll be dropping the beta draft for Book 3 on Sunday morning. I can’t wait for the Patreons to read this new version. I’ve already added 40k and reworked a lot of beats. After that, I’ll be going into the final round of edits to clean up typos, grammars, and any other consistencies. I’m still working on Fool Me Twice, but I’m in good shape to start writing that one in October.

I also started Desperate Measures last night AND organized all of my 1999-2001 Liason screencaps by scene and date. I’m starting 2002 tomorrow, and this is going to make graphics and the rest of the facelift so much easier. I’m excited for that. I also continued working on the checklist, and most of the Bittersweet subsite is done. I just have to add the Character descriptions, and redesign the ebook cover.

I haven’t heard back about the job yet — the districts are crazy busy right now, so hopefully within a few days.

This entry is part 1 of 18 in the Flash Fiction: Shot in the Dark

This is a direct sequel to the Flash Fiction series, Darkest Before the Dawn.

Written in 55 minutes. Time for a basic spell check but no for typos.

February 2013

Port Charles Park: Ice Rink

“Are you blind?” Elizabeth Webber shot to her feet, cupped her hands around her mouth — “Hey, Ref! Get your eyes checked!”
“
“That’s crap!” Patrick Drake shouted from her side, dragging his hand through his slightly shaggy dark hair.

Sitting next to them, Jason Morgan just frowned, then looked at the rest of the parents in the stand—who were all on their feet, screaming obscenities that were a lot worse than Patrick and Elizabeth.

“She doesn’t look like she’d be a crazy sports mom, does she?” Laura Spencer mused as she picked up her grandson, two-year-old Aiden Webber, and cuddled him in her lap. “I’ll talk to Spencer about trying to decapitate Cameron. I promise.”

“He’s just mad that Emma made Cameron a nicer card for Valentine’s Day,” Elizabeth muttered as she sat back down. “And he keeps calling Cam a townie—”

“He likes to ignore the fact that he lives in town now, too,” Laura said dryly. “We’re working on it—” She winced as Spencer’s skates slid out from underneath him, and the eight-year-old started to slide across the ice. “Oh, no—”

“He’s back up,” Jason said, reassuring her. He winced as Spencer Cassadine got back to his feet, unsteadily, and started to skate in Cameron’s direction.

“I wear to God if that referee calls one more foul on my kid,” Elizabeth said, her teeth clenched. “And—hey!” She lunged to her feet again as Spencer bypassed Cameron and headed for Emma Scorpio-Drake.

“Oh, I know he’s not going after my kid!” Patrick said with a scowl.

“They know they’re talking about kids, right?” Jason asked Laura a bit dubiously. This was a side of Elizabeth he’d never seen before — but maybe it shouldn’t surprise him. She’d always been fiercely loyal to the people she loved and there was no one she loved more than her boys. It made sense it would translate to supporting them in sports, but this—

He found himself grinning as the referee managed to grab the back of Spencer’s uniform before he was able to finish swiping out with his stick towards Emma. Patrick’s daughter turned, narrowed her eyes, and launched herself at the Cassadine — the two kids hit the ice and started rolling around, shoving each other.

“Just like her mother,” Jason said, with a slow exhale. Robin had never taken shit from anyone, and he knew from experience she could throw a punch.

Elizabeth heard him, then smiled at him. “Yeah, Robin taught Emma how to defend herself. But—”

“There it is,” Laura said with a sigh, as Cameron launched himself on the two of them, dragging Spencer away from Emma, and the irritated umpire ejected all three of them. “I guess we’d better go get them.”

“I’m buying Emma all the ice cream she wants,” Patrick told Elizabeth as they trooped down from the stands and headed over to pick up their kids. It wasn’t the first game that the trio had been thrown out of, and they were used to the routine by now.

It was Jason’s first time making it to one of the games, and while he’d heard about the bitter rivalry, it was something to see the eight-year-olds all trying to kill each other. They could probably hold their own against Carly in her heyday.

“You know, Cameron told me that Joss gave him a Valentine,” Elizabeth said, as if reading Jason’s thoughts. She took Aiden from Laura and grinned at him. “I think that’s going to complicate things.”

Jason winced. “Oh, man. Joss takes after her mother, so—”

“It’s not my fault,” Emma said immediately as the adults reached them. Standing next to them was their beleaguered coach who was not having a great day.

“Mrs. Spencer,” Dustin Phillips said, with a sigh to Laura. “We’ve talked about Spencer’s sportsmanship—”

Spencer gasped. “He attacked me!” He jabbed a finger at Cameron who stuck his tongue out at his cousin. “You—you—you townie!” Spencer launched himself at Cameron all over again and would have reached him if Jason hadn’t waded in and grabbed Laura’s grandson — Elizabeth got her son, and they dragged them apart again.

“We’re working on it,” Laura said. “But in my defense, I told the league not to put them on the same team.”

“One more ejection, and I’m cutting all three of them,” Dustin said. He went back to the kids still playing.

“You’re ruining it for all of us!” Emma screaming, stomping her foot at Spencer. Her cheek was cut. “And you’re the townie, you dink!”

“I am not a townie! I live on an island!”

“You live on Charles Street you—” Emma went after him, intending to deliver a kick to the shins, but Patrick grabbed his daughter.

“Well, this has been fun,” he said dryly. “But I’ll take my kid home before she does anymore damage.”

“It’s not fair, Dad!” Emma complained as the Drakes walked towards their car. “He’s such a brat!”

Spencer glared at Cameron with an utter look of loathing that might have worried Jason if he wasn’t eight. “You turned her against me!”

“All right, all right—that’s enough!” Laura snapped. She grabbed Spencer’s shoulder and shook him slightly. “You went after that girl on the ice, Spencer Cassadine! And you tried to hit your cousin—”

“He is not my cousin!” Spencer wiped his nose, then glared at Cameron. “Uncle Lucky said you’re just a bastard—”

“Shut up!” Cameron roared, and then he was airborne, tackling Spencer to the gravel parking lot, then punched him square in the face before Jason was able to grab him, lifting him in the air, still kicking wildly.

“I’ll kill him! Let me kill him!”

Shaken slightly, Laura pulled her grandson to his feet, looking at Elizabeth with a blank expression. “I—”

“We should go,” Elizabeth said, tightly, sliding a hand down Aiden’s back as the toddler started to cry. Jason put Cameron on the ground, but kept an arm around his shoulders, holding him back.

“I think that’s a good idea. I’ll—I’ll talk to him.” Laura leaned forward to kiss Aiden’s cheek, then tried to hug Cameron, but he turned his face away from her. “I love you, baby,” she murmured, brushing his hair back. “I’ll call you,” she told Elizabeth, before taking Spencer’s hand and dragging him away.

“I want to go home,” Cameron said, flatly. He shrugged away from Jason and stalked towards their car.

Webber Home: Hallway

“Hey.” Jason touched the small of Elizabeth’s back as she left Aiden’s room, switching on the night light and closing the door. “Why don’t you let me put Cameron to bed?”

“I—” Elizabeth sighed, looked down the hallway towards her oldest’s room. “I don’t know. You think that’s a good idea? I mean—God, if Spencer’s right—I can’t believe—” Distressed, she looked away, swiping at her eyes.

“You’re still upset,” Jason told her. “And you know Cameron doesn’t like to see you cry. I’ll talk to him, and see if he’s up to talking tonight. Otherwise, it might be better if we gave him some space.”

“All right.” She clenched her hand in his shirt briefly before releasing it. “I’ll be in the bedroom if you need me.”

He kissed her forehead, and they separated. He waited to hear their bedroom door click shut before he knocked on Cameron’s door.

“I don’t need to be tucked in. Go away.”

“I just wanted to say good night,” Jason said. “Can I come in for a minute?”

“Jason?” There was a sigh. “Fine.”

Jason pushed open the door, then went inside the room to find Cameron sitting up in his bed, already dressed in his Captain America pajamas. He eyed Jason suspiciously. “Why are you here and not my Mom?”

“I can go get her,” Jason offered, closing the door, then leaning against it.”

Cameron shrugged a shoulder, then stared at his blanket. “It’s fine,” he said dully. “Spencer is a doofus. I know that.”

“He doesn’t seem like a nice kid,” Jason agreed.

“And I don’t care what Lucky says about me,” Cameron said in a small voice. “He’s not my dad. I know that. He doesn’t want me. He only calls Aiden. And he never comes to see him either. I don’t care—” His voice trembled slightly.

Jason stepped forward, perched on the edge of the bed. “It’s okay to be hurt,” he said softly. “There’s nothing wrong with admitting it.”

“I don’t need him,” Cameron said. He looked up, his blue eyes burning into Jason’s. “My mom is best mom ever. She’s all I need. I don’t need Lucky. I don’t need you either.”

“Okay.”

Cameron looked away, then a tear slid down his cheek. Then another. “I miss Jake.”

Jason exhaled on a shaky breath. Cameron didn’t often talk about his little brother, and he and Elizabeth were both careful not to reminisce about him often around the boys. “I do, too.”

“You were his real dad, weren’t you?”

“I—I was,” Jason admitted.

Cameron swiped his hand under his nose. “My real dad is dead. Spencer said his dad said my dad was a bad person. Was he? Did you know him?”

“I did know him,” Jason said carefully. “And Zander was…he knew how to get himself into trouble. But I know your mother liked him. And my sister—Aunt Emily—she loved him. She was married to him for a little while. He wasn’t all bad, Cameron. He just didn’t make a lot of good choices.”

“Mom says I have to be nice to Spencer because his dad just dumped on him Grandma Laura, and she didn’t want him stuck in boarding school. His mom is dead. And his dad doesn’t want him. So I guess—I mean—” Cameron sighed. “I’d be really mad at everyone if my mom dumped me on someone.”

“It sounds like a tough situation.”

“But my mom would never do that,” Cameron told Jason. “Never.”

“No, your mom would walk through fire for you. And your brothers.” Had walked through fire, Jason remembered.

“I’m sorry I said I don’t need you,” Cameron muttered. “I like that you live here now. Christmas was more fun this year.” He peeked up at Jason. “Mom smiles a lot now. More than since Jake died. Last year was hard.”

“I’m glad we’re together. I love your mother. And I love you and your brother,” Jason told him.

“You’re not going to leave, are you?” Cameron cleared his throat. “I mean, you and my mom—you’re gonna marry her, right? I don’t want her to cry again.”

“That’s something your mom and I have talked about,” Jason told him. “But I’m not going anywhere. There’s no where I’d rather be.”

“Okay.” Cameron nodded. “Okay. I’m okay,” he said, and this time it sounded like he meant it. “Tell mom I’m okay. She was right. Spencer is awful, but I think—I know what it’s like for a dad to dump you. And if my mom were gone—if I never knew her—man, that would suck.”

Cameron had his mother’s soft heart and kindness — with Zander’s recklessness. God help the world, Jason thought as he helped the eight-year-old climb under the blankets.

“Hey, Jason?” Cameron asked as Jason switched off the lamp on the night stand.

“Yeah, buddy?”

“You promise you’re not leaving?”

“I promise.” Jason ruffled his blonde hair, then Cameron grinned, turned over, and closed his eyes. “Good night, buddy.”

“Night, Jason.”

Elizabeth was pacing when Jason went into their room, biting the nail of her thumb as she walked from the window to the end of the bed, before turning around and starting again. At Jason’s entrance, she whirled around.

“Is he okay? Does he need me?”

“He’s fine. He’s probably already asleep.” Jason rubbed his hands down her arms. “By the time I left, he’d already reminded himself that Spencer has it pretty rough right now — and Cameron says he knows how it feels to have a dad dump him, and how much worse it would be not to have his mom.”

Elizabeth groaned, then let her head drop against his chest. “Oh, God. I tried so hard not to let Cameron feel Lucky’s leaving like this. Lucky was already not doing much with the boys by the time he left the country—but he never calls Cameron—”

“He doesn’t blame you,” Jason assured her. “In fact, you’re the only person in the world he does believe in one hundred percent, so you’re doing something right.”

“Something,” Elizabeth muttered. She sighed, pulled away from him, then sat on the bed. “You’re sure he’s okay?”

“Yeah. He was mad at first, but he’s okay. He’s a good kid, Elizabeth. A good kid who’s asking questions about Zander, by the way. Apparently, Spencer also told him Nikolas said Zander was a bad person—”

“I could really kill the two of them right now,” Elizabeth snarled. “Talking like that in front of Spencer—What were they thinking? I liked it better when they hated each other—” She dragged a hand through her hair. “What did you say?”

“That Zander wasn’t a bad person. He just didn’t make great choices. That you liked him. That Emily loved him.” Jason hesitated. “Cameron seemed worried I might leave.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth blinked at him. “Oh. Well, I guess—I mean, you only moved in a few weeks ago. Maybe we rushed it. Did we rush it?” She chewed on her lip. “I just—I want so bad to be a better mom than I had, but I think I keep messing it up—”

“You’re an amazing mother,” Jason told her. “And Cameron would be the first to tell you that. No, I think he’s just been through a lot. Losing Jake. Then Lucky moving away — me moving in. It’s been a lot.”

“Right.” Elizabeth frowned. “We’re not going to have this fight again, are we?”

“No,” Jason said. “I asked you to marry me. And you wanted time. This was a compromise. And we didn’t fight the last time,” he reminded her. “But I’m in this. For good.”

“Jason—”

“It’s okay that you don’t believe me yet,” Jason said. “But this is what I want. You and the boys. It’s all I ever wanted. When we talked about getting married four years ago, one of the things I wanted to do was adopt Cameron.”

Elizabeth stared at him, her eyes widening. “Jason—”

“I know Aiden—I know Aiden has a relationship with Lucky, and I don’t want to mess that up. And if you think it’s not a good idea—”

“You want to adopt Cameron?”

“I’ve always loved him,” Jason told her. “Because he was yours. And then because he’s Cameron. Lucky had the chance to be his father—he doesn’t want it. I do. I can’t—it’s not about making up for not being there for Jake.”

“I didn’t say it was—”

“It’s about this life we’re building together.”

“I’d—” She hesitated. “I want to talk to Cameron about it. But, Jason—” She leaned forward, kissed him, fisting her hand in his shirt. “I love you. For wanting it.”

“I love you, too.”

August 31, 2020

Your Update Link: Not Knowing When, Part 1

HELLO! Happy Monday! Welcome back to Flash Fiction pn its new day and time. I am SOOOO excited to get started because I spent a lot of this weekend working out some details for the flash fiction series, and I am just ridiculously happy to be back. I missed this!  Today’s entry kicks off a revisit of 2002 and the post-penthouse disaster of that fall. All recap details are included in the first part. You might notice that this update is longer — to compensate for not updating twice a week, I’m writing in two 25 minute sprints starting at 7 PM on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays — although Sunday won’t be as late as 7.  I won’t be able to carve out time every day, but I can probably manage an hour a few times a week.

I thought I might be out of work in September because both my districts are on remote for the first month (and possibly longer) but I found out today there’s a possibility I can snag a long-term permanent position in my district. I won’t know any details until tomorrow, but obviously if I get a long-term job, it’s going to mess with my schedule. School starts in my district tomorrow, so I’ll be playing massive amounts of catch up. I’ll let you guys know when I know more.

I’ve been super busy since I came back from my break last week. I’ve been working really hard on revision plans for Flash Fiction, planning the new round of stories (you guys are going to LOVE Sunday’s update), and I’ve been back to working on Mad World and Fool Me Twice. ALSO! I’ve been knocking items out on my Facelift. I’ve been crazy productive and happy about it 🙂 The biggest update was that I finally finished writing and formatting all the copy for the Alternate History page. Now — I just need to move those stories over!

OH! And the most important thing — I relaunched my soaps blog, Crimson Suds, with a daily snarky recap that’s short and takes me like 10 minutes to put together as well as a longer weekly commentary column.

I won’t have my usual Site & Story status video up tomorrow — that’s been delayed until the weekend, so I’ll save the details until then. I’ll see you guys on Wednesday!