August 27, 2022

Update Link: Scars – Part 19

Purchase Counting Stars Alpha Draft (all payments encrypted through Stripe — can use Google Pay for purchase) Use Contact form or reply to this post if there are any issues and see below for more information.

You’ll be getting a decent amount of Scars over the next few weeks, as today and next Saturday are make up days. So Scars is getting updated today (8/27), Tuesday (8/30), Friday (9/2), and Saturday (9/3.) Then two more updates to finish up the story on Friday (9/9) and Sunday (9/11).

I have to do a bit of housekeeping at CG — I have to update the widgets with the schedule for the next two weeks, and the Recent Updates page hasn’t been touched since early August. It’s definitely something that fell off my radar. August really has been a rough month. I hyperfocused on anything that would keep my mind busy and lost track of completely everything else.

Purchasing Drafts

I played around with a WordPress plugin that would allow me to have downloads that work as a purchase. It’s not perfect, but I tested it, and it actually works.  There’s some design elements to work out, but I like it as an alternative to Patreon for drafts. Early access chapters will probably still stay on that platform for now.

All drafts available for single purchase will be priced according to the Patreon level. Counting Stars, Alpha Draft, is currently available for my Crimson Obsessed tier ($10). This is the version that is my first attempt at the story. It hasn’t been edited for typos or consistencies. One of the really awesome things about posting my alpha drafts is that it gives people a chance to give feedback on early versions. There’s an Alexis/Dante scene in Mad World, Book 4 that got added in edits because someone asked for it, and I’m so glad it’s there.

The next version will be the beta draft, which is the major round of edits (and Counting Stars will have a decent amount added). That’ll be out at the end of next month and will be priced at the Crimson Adored tier ($7). The final version, the posting draft, should be out at the end of October and will be priced at the Crimson Devoted tier price ($5). The posting edit is usually the version that you see on Crimson Glass, but I’m still finding typos and doing final edits right up until they go live.

I want to put together a mailing list for a bundle price on the next project — if you just want to pay one price for all three rounds of drafts with no second purchase necessary — let me know if this is something you’re interested in.

Where Does the Money Go

For a little transparency, I wanted to let everyone know where the money I get for Patreon goes.

  • First, it pays for the hosting services. I use a VPS, which means my site never crashes because I’m not sharing resources with anyone else. The database with the comments and plugins take up a lot of resources. That costs $25.50 a month.
  • Any money left over after hosting services goes into my savings account. I use that to pay the property taxes on my house, which run about $4k every year. I don’t quite make that much from Patreon, but it’s a HUGE help.
  • Before 2019, I worked a second job. I went to graduate school full-time, subbed during the day, and tutored at night. It left very little time for writing. I also worked full-time during the summer. Longtime readers will remember an inconsistent posting schedule from 2016-2018.
  • I quit tutoring in the fall of 2018 because of scheduling conflicts and things were really tight every month. Then I relaunched the Patreon, and made enough for gas money and some of my bills.
  • In the fall of 2019, I took over my parents’ house, including the utilities, property taxes, and homeowner’s insurance. Without Patreon to provide about 80% of that money, I would need to go back to tutoring full-time in the summer.
  • So if you’ve enjoyed all the Flash Fiction, the six books, and countless short stories I’ve put out since 2019, that’s due largely to the amazing community here that made it possible for me to treat writing like a second career.
  • No story of mine is ever going to be behind a permanent paywall. The final edits will always be available, as they have been since I started Patreon.

This entry is part 19 of 25 in the Flash Fiction: Scars

Written in 49 minutes.


Scorpio-Drake Home: Emma’s Bedroom

Trina knocked on Emma’s open door. “Hey. You never came back down—” She paused. “Are you crying? What happened?”

Emma sniffled, swiping at her tears. She shoved herself off her bed. “I’m fine. Let’s go downstairs—”

“No, did you and Cam have another fight?” Trina folded her arms. “What did Joss tell him? Because if she made it sound worse—”

“I don’t know what she told him,” Emma said, “but it’s not—” She drew in a shaky breath. “I don’t know. Do you think we were fair to her today?”

Trina shifted, staring at the ground. “I don’t know. We’ve been mean to each other since kindergarten—”

“Yeah, I know.”

“But—” Trina winced. “The thing about her dad might be a low blow. I’m a kid of divorce, too. And Spencer gave me attitude about it. I just—Joss is always talking about her dad and how rich and important he is—” She closed her mouth. “Which might be her way of explaining why he’s never around.”

“I just—Cam talked about how his dad—his mom’s last husband—just left him. You don’t remember him, I don’t think.”

“No, but I know the story. He’s Aiden’s bio dad, but Jake’s dad adopted Cam and Aiden, so it’s all legal.” Trina leaned against the door frame. “And I know Spencer’s sensitive about the dad thing.”

“I’m not saying we have to be best friends with her,” Emma said, “but you guys haven’t pulled any pranks on each other since the blue hair dye. I don’t really know why I snapped at her today.”

“Me either. And I feel bad that she left like that. She must have been really upset. And like, yeah, my dad does really important work, but—” Trina pressed his lips together. “Sometimes it’s like that work is more important than me. So if that’s what Joss feels about her dad, I guess maybe we got something in common.”

“We’ll call her and make it right,” Emma said with a nod. “I know we can.”

Baker House: Kitchen

The house was silent as Patrick and Elizabeth crept inside. She closed the door, keeping the handle twisted until the door was nestled inside the frame, then releasing it so that there was no sound of tumblers clicking.

They’d done a test run during one of Baker’s night shifts a few days ago to time themselves. Just one. Any more than that, they risked getting caught.

She looked at her phone one more time  — Baker was still asleep, resting on his stomach, the thin blanket shoved to the side, his face turned towards the camera. Elizabeth nodded, then Patrick took the lead.

They kept their arms at their side, their hands were gloved, and they’d taken off their shoes at the back door. It had added maybe a minute to their time, but Patrick didn’t want shoe prints from the mix of dirt and snow. It had to look like no one had been in the house.

Patrick rounded the corner out of the kitchen, then down the short hallway connecting the living room to the one bedroom and bath at the other end of the house. Mercifully, the bedroom door stood partially ajar — though during their test run, Patrick had oiled the joints on both doors to avoid any creaking.

He paused outside the bedroom door, looked back at Elizabeth, then at the door — carefully pushing it open.

Scorpio-Drake Home: Backyard

Robin stepped out onto the deck. “How’s the turkey going?” she asked Sonny. “It hasn’t exploded yet, so that’s a good sign.”

“Ye of little faith,” Sonny replied good-naturedly.

Robin smirked, then looked at Jason. “Hey, did you hear from Elizabeth yet? I thought and Patrick would be done at noon. He promised he’d come right home so I wasn’t on my own with Carly—and he doesn’t know she left—” she added when Sonny opened his mouth.

Jason checked his phone. It was nearly twelve-thirty, maybe ten or fifteen minutes after they could have expected them to be home. “She didn’t call.”

“Maybe they got called into an emergency surgery,” Sonny suggested.

“Yeah, that’s true. Still—” Robin made a face, looked back at the teens. “Cameron didn’t come back out?”

“No, he’s inside with Aiden.” Jason followed her gaze. Emma and Trina had returned to the group around the electric heater, but it was more sullen.

“I’m sorry Joss got hurt,” Robin said. “But maybe it’s for the best. If they don’t get along, we can’t force it—”

“Joss gets along fine with Cameron,” Jason said without thinking, and Robin’s eyes narrowed.

“So, it’s my kid that’s the problem and not Carly’s?” she asked coolly.

“You know, I think it’ll be more comfortable inside with the former commissioners,” Sonny muttered, ducking between them and disappearing inside.

“That’s not what I said,” Jason shooting Sonny a dirty look just as the mobster slid the door closed. Coward. “I just said Joss has no issue with Cameron.”

“Which is something she gets from her mother. Carly always managed to make friends with the guys, but I never met a woman who could stand her—”

“Joss isn’t her mother,” Jason cut in sharply and Robin’s cheeks flushed. “And Carly was friends with a woman. Sonny’s sister. And she and Elizabeth get along fine now—”

“Which means it’s me and my kid who are the problem—”

“You’re putting words in my mouth,” Jason said, trying to find the patience. “I know Carly isn’t for everyone. I know that you have legitimate issues with her that go back a long time. And no, I don’t think we should try to force Emma or anyone else to be friends with Joss.”

“Then why bring up Cameron if you agree with me?”

“Because it’s—” Jason took a minute. “Elizabeth and Carly couldn’t stand each other. But they figured out how to be civil because of me. Cameron and Joss have been friends since they were kids. I don’t see how it’s different—”

“You wouldn’t. You’ve had a blind spot to Carly since the day you met her, and it looks like your son picked up your bad habit of expecting everyone to put up with someone just because they—” Robin closed her eyes. “I don’t want to fight about this. I don’t even know why we are.”

“You don’t have to like Carly. No one said you did. I just don’t see what’s so wrong with Joss that justifies making her cry.” Or making her feel so left out she walked home alone.

“Maybe it’s just striking a nerve,” Robin said slowly, “listening to you talk about my daughter having to put up with someone she doesn’t like because her boyfriend does.” She looked back out over the yard. “I’m sorry.”

“No, I am. Because I forced Carly on you back then, and I never really apologized. I messed up, and I hurt you,” Jason told her. “I’m sorry.”

Robin smiled then, a bit more genuinely. “It’s silly, really, for us to get involved with their problems. I would have been mortified if Uncle Mac was fighting my battles for me behind my back.”

“I don’t remember being a teenager, but I don’t think I’d like it either.”

“I’ll go get Sonny and tell him it’s safe to come back out. I don’t want this thing exploding on my deck.”

Baker House: Bedroom

The room was dark, lit only by the weak November sunlight filtering in through the grimy windows, but Patrick and Elizabeth had practiced this too many times in their minds and in conversations.

Patrick drew out the bottle of succinylcholine and syringe. He stuck the needle inside the top, drew out the dosage required and handled it to Elizabeth. He returned the bottle to his pocket and went to stand at the top of the bed while Elizabeth went to the foot of the bed.

She gently drew back the blanket where it covered Baker’s foot. It was long, skinny, the big toe sticking out like a finger. Her heart was pounding. It was the first time she’d been this close to him since that day at the hospital, when she’d been catapulted back to that horrible moment, to being on her back, the freezing snow and ice seeping into her back, spreading through her limbs, numbing her, strangling her throat she couldn’t even scream—

The sight of him, the way his voice sounded — it had brought back her worst nightmare. Pandora’s Box had been blown to smithereens and every terrible thought and feeling was pouring out. She couldn’t shove them all back in again, and maybe she’d never get that before feeing back.

But it would be better. She would exist in a world where she and every other girl walking alone would be safe.

Her heart might be pounding, but her fingers were steady as she leaned down, angled the syringe between Baker’s toes. She plunged the needle in, his foot jerking just slightly. Then Elizabeth depressed the plunger, watching as the medication left the syringe and entered his body.

Patrick waited with baited breath at the end of the bed, ready to leap into action if Baker did more than jerk his foot—but nothing.

The succinylcholine was a quick-acting drug, which made it perfect for this, really. Elizabeth watched as Baker’s chest stopped rising. They waited a full minute, then Patrick pressed two fingers to Baker’s neck. He looked at Elizabeth, nodded.

It was done.

Tom Baker was dead.

Elizabeth slid the used syringe into her pocket. It, along with the clothes they wore, would be burned at some point. But for now, it was time to go.

On their way out, Patrick stopped, his eyes falling on the photographs across the room, pinned up. He’d recognized them that first day — the missing photos from his locker. From his wallet. His little girl on the wall.

Elizabeth touched his arm, and he looked at her, the rage simmering beneath the surface. She tilted her head. They were on a tight schedule if their alibis were to hold.

After another moment, Patrick turned his back, leaving the evidence behind so that all the world would know that while someone had died here today, nothing of value had been lost.

Scorpio-Drake Home: Front Step

Still a bit unsettled after the argument with Robin, Jason stepped out to the front of the house, scanning the street. He and Robin had been distracted from the question where their spouses were.

It was twelve-forty-five. A half hour later than he would have thought Elizabeth would be home from work. He wasn’t really that worried—after all, she was Patrick’s go-to surgical nurse and it wouldn’t be the first time they’d worked overtime.

He took his phone out, and looked at the find app, expecting to see Elizabeth’s phone at General Hospital. He frowned. It wasn’t — it was in a shopping center. Curious, he called her.

“Hello?” her voice, a bit breathless. “Jason?”

“Hey. I was just wondering what happened.”

“Oh—” Elizabeth laughed. “I got the weirdest craving while I was clocking out. I wanted this brand of pickles. You know those bread and butter ones you hate?”

“Yeah—”

“Patrick offered to come with me, and then we got distracted in the store, because I wanted candy, but they were out of Starbursts, and I couldn’t decide what would taste right with the pickles.”

“Candy,” Jason repeated. “With pickles.”

“Mmmm, when I was pregnant with Jake, all I wanted was Starbursts soaked in pickle juice. I can hear you making a face from here—shut up, Patrick, it’s disgusting but I love it.”

Jason’s chest eased. He hadn’t been around for any of those pregnancy cravings, but he’d be here for these, and he’d make sure the house would be stocked with the disgusting combination.  “I would have gotten those for you—”

“It’s fine. We’re leaving now, and we’ll be home in like five. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

August 26, 2022

Update Link: Scars – Part 18

Well, first week of updating in the evening in the bag, and so far so good. Let’s just hope I can keep going once I’m back at work, lol, and I’ve been dealing with middle schoolers.

I was planning some Patreon perks for next week, and I had a thought. I’ve had a few people over the last two years (since I really made an effort with the Patreon) ask if they could get a copy of the draft for whatever the tier cost. I’d give them my Paypal, and then email the copy. I know there are some of you who just don’t want to do a recurring donation (which is absolutely fine), so I’ve been thinking of ways to open up Patreon benefits in different ways.

Would anyone be interested in a way to get drafts if it involved just a one time purchase? No story of mine is ever behind a permanent paywall — Patreons get early access and copies of the story that change a lot as I move between drafts, but finalized versions are always released for free. Let me know, and I’ll look into getting something together.

See you tomorrow for another update of Scars! (I’m catching up from the two Tuesdays I missed)

This entry is part 18 of 25 in the Flash Fiction: Scars

Written in 50 minutes.


Scorpio-Drake Home: Backyard

Sonny checked the temperature on the deep fryer, then stepped back with a grin on his face. “Always wanted to try one of these.” He accepted the bottle of beer Jason offered.

“I’m just glad Dad’s making one in the kitchen if this one gets burnt to a crisp,” Robin said as she stepped out from the double terrace doors. She folded her arms, drawing her cardigan sweater more tightly around her torso. “I know you don’t feel the cold,” she said to Jason, “but you can still freeze to death.”

“Fryer’s keeping us warm,” Jason offered. He glanced down towards the patio, and the teens clustered around the electric heater. “And I wanted to keep my eye on them.”

“Mmm. Patrick said there was more tension than usual. Not pranks or anything, just a general unhappiness.” Robin peered over the railing, watching as Emma and Trina talked to each other enthusiastically, their hands flying. Cameron was showing Jake something on his Nintendo Switch, and Joss was staring down at her phone.

“You can’t force kids to like each other,” Sonny said. He bumped Robin’s shoulder. “But thanks for trying. Even if you had to invite Carly. Never thought I’d see the day.’

“Me either,” Robin muttered. She straightened as Joss said something to Spencer, and Trina narrowed her eyes. None of the adults could hear what was said, but there was no mistaking  the expression on Trina’s face or the flushed cheeks on Joss. Cameron set his game aside, but it was too late. Joss was already on her feet and dashing across the yard towards the house.

“Mayday,” Sonny said.

Joss charged up the stairs and into the house. Robin winced, started to follow but Jason held out a hand. “Let me try.”

“I guess. You always talked sense into Carly. To the extent anyone could,” Robin added as Jason went inside. He closed the door behind him and set the beer on the island counter.

“Did anyone see where Joss went?” Jason asked Robert and Mac, busy working the second turkey.

“Uh, towards the front of the house,” Mac said.

Jason found her in the entry way, shrugging into her jacket. “Joss—”

“Don’t even start, Uncle Jase. This was stupid. Okay? Just stupid. I didn’t even want to come—” Joss looked at him, her blue eyes shimmering with tears. “I get it. And I’m tired of pity invites.”

“Okay, but—”

Joss yanked open the door, and lit out, running down the front walk. Jason grimaced, jogged to catch up with her. “Didn’t you promise not to walk anywhere alone?” he called as Joss reached the sidewalk.

“Oh—” Joss stopped, closed her eyes, and huffed. “That was after dark. And I was just imagining those sounds, okay?” Her lip trembled. “Don’t make me go back. Please.”

“I won’t,” Jason said carefully, wishing Elizabeth was here. She’d know what to say. “If you really want to go home, I’ll take you myself. It’s too far to walk—”

“Emma hates me, and her mom hates my mom, so I know I only got invited because Aunt Liz made her parents do it—” Joss folded her arms. “I know I pulled some nasty pranks on Trina, and I shouldn’t have tried to make her miss the cheerleading tryouts or tell Oscar that thing  about her hair, but I was just so mad at her—”

“Joss—”

“Like, Trina and Emma just walk into a room and everyone loves them. They don’t even have to work at it. Do you know how how annoying that is? I’m pretty. I’m rich. I’m supposed to be the popular one—” Joss sucked in breath. “God, I hate myself. Emma’s right. I’m just a spoiled entitled princess who couldn’t make friends if someone tied a meat chop around my neck.”

Jason frowned. “Is that what she said?”

“The princess part. I added the rest of it. They only put up with me because of Cameron. I used to be able to count on Spencer, but now he’s dating Trina, so I’m the fifth wheel, and it sucks. I don’t want to be here anymore, okay?” Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and Jason didn’t know the first thing to say to make her feel better. “I hate it. I hate them, and I hate my mother, because let me tell you, being her daughter hasn’t helped either.”

“Joss—”

“I want to leave. Please. I want to go home.”

Jason opened his mouth to say something, but Carly stepped up behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Next to her stood Cameron, a distraught expression on his face.

“Thanks for the invite, Jase. Really. Tell Patrick when he gets home I appreciate it,” Carly said. “But Joss and I are gonna head out.”

“Joss, don’t go—”

“Don’t worry about it.” Joss forced a smile on her face, swiped at her tears. “It’s fine. You’ll have more fun when I’m not here.”

“That’s not true—”

But Joss just followed her mother to the car, leaving Jason and Cameron the sidewalk. Cameron exhaled slowly. “I didn’t even realize they were fighting,” he told his father. “We were all fine, and then I looked away to help Jake with the game—next thing I knew—”

“I know.” Jason put a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s go back inside. Grandma Laura’s watching TV with Aiden in the living room, and she’s probably ready for a break from the puppy parade.”

General Hospital: Locker Room

When the clock struck noon, Elizabeth and Patrick were already in the locker room, changing from scrubs to street clothes. She checked her phone, showed it to him. He nodded grimly. As expected, Baker was still asleep, and would be for at least another three hours if he kept the schedule they’d carefully monitored.

Elizabeth sighed when a text flashed on the screen. “Joss and Carly already made a run for it,” she told Patrick. “The girls got into a fight.”

Patrick winced. “I was really hoping that wouldn’t happen.”

“Me, too—” Elizabeth got to her feet, then braced her hand on the locker, pressing her other hand to her abdomen. “Whoa.”

“You good?” Alarm flashed over his face. “Do you need something? I can go get Britt—”

“No, no—” She exhaled slowly. “The flutters,” she murmured. “It’s the first time I’ve felt the baby.”

“Oh.” Patrick shoved his hands in his pockets. “You know, we can cancel our plans—”

“No. No.” Elizabeth let the moment wash through her, the sensation of the life growing inside her. This baby was going to have everything she could offer — a world safe from Baker. “No, let’s go.”

They had a small window of maybe a half hour before anyone at the house realized they were late. From this moment on, there would be no speaking. Only carrying out the plan they’d carefully orchestrated.

Nothing could go wrong.

Scorpio-Drake Home: Living Room

Cameron tried to distract himself by watching the Puppy Bowl with his youngest brother who was positive that this was the year he’d convince their parents he was old enough for a dog.

Just like he had been for three years.

But he couldn’t get Joss’s face out of his head, and the way she’d run away. Cameron had only heard part of the words Emma had flung at Joss — the spoiled princess part — but there had to be more for Joss to flip out. They were always sniping at each other, weren’t they? Why was it suddenly different? Joss had been moody for a few weeks, ever since the dance—

“I’ll be back,” he told Aiden when he saw Emma through the archway to the kitchen. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Emma bit her lip. “You never came back,” she said, pitching her voice low so her grandfather and uncle didn’t hear her. “Where’s Joss?”

“Don’t tell me you actually care,” Cameron found himself saying, then winced when Emma narrowed his eyes. “We need to talk.”

“Yeah, fine.” Emma led him up the backstairs to her room, leaving the door open a few inches. “Look, it wasn’t my idea to invite her, so don’t be mad at me—Trina is tired of putting up with her—”

“You know, I get why Trina and Joss have their issues. Joss has said and done some stupid thing. But not lately—”

“Oh, then I guess everything’s forgiven—”

“But Joss is still my best friend. Okay? Outside of you,” he added. “And she’s always been there for me.”

“One time she tried to steal her dad’s plane—”

“How about when Deenie Masterson turned me in for cheating on that science test last year? When Mr. K found that cheat sheet on the floor, and she blamed me—”

“Joss got up, made a scene, and demanded a lawyer.” Emma made a face. “She’s good at making a spectacle of herself—”

“What did she do today that was so bad?” Cameron wanted to know. “You called her a spoiled little princess. What did she even say?”

“Trina was talking about her dad being out of town and missing him. Joss, like always, decided make it all about her.” Emma rolled her eyes. “Talking about how she understood and missed her dad. Like it’s the same thing! Trina got mad—”

“Dude, Joss’s dad lives on a different continent—”

“And Trina just reminded her that Joss’s dad chooses not to be with her,” Emma said with a shrug, “and Trina’s dad is doing important work. Joss got mad at her, and I told her to stop being a spoiled little princess and just be glad we let her in the house after all the crap she pulled—”

Cameron stared at her blankly. “Trina said what? Are you serious? You don’t even think it’s messed up that she told Joss her dad didn’t want her—”

“Oh, come on, Joss’s dad worships her—”

“You wouldn’t get it,” Cameron retorted. “You never had a parent abandon you—and don’t bring up your mother. She didn’t walk away from you, okay? And she fought hard to come home. My dad didn’t. He didn’t want me. And Joss thinks that all the time about her dad, so yeah, I think it’s a shitty thing to say when Joss was probably just trying to find something they had in common.”

“Oh, come on! Why do you always see the best in Joss?”

“Why do you always see the worst?” Cameron shook his head and started for the door.

“Cam, wait—” Emma reached for his arm, but he shook her off.

“No, I’m pissed. You co-signed something really mean. I spent years wondering what I did to make my dad—Lucky—stop loving me. And sometimes I still think—” He stopped, took a deep breath. “It messes with your head when someone who is supposed to stick doesn’t. I got lucky, okay? I got a new dad and it’s great. Joss doesn’t have that. I don’t care what pranks or crap she pulls with Trina, it’s mean to say what you guys did, and I don’t like either of you right now.”

Cameron stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Parking Lot

This time it was Patrick who bought the car in cash, using the instructions Elizabeth had given him. If anyone ever noticed the strange cars on the street, the descriptions wouldn’t lead to the same person – and Patrick had used a wig to buy it so they wouldn’t even have the right hair color.

They parked the car at a drug store halfway between Baker’s house and the hospital, far enough away that it wouldn’t be tracked. They parked their own car on opposite sides of the lot, then went to the car. Patrick slid into the driver’s side, Elizabeth into the passenger. They exchanged the coats and hats they’d worn from the hospital, for a different set  — deep maroon for Elizabeth and navy blue for Patrick.

“Twenty minutes,” Elizabeth said. “That’s the window. We have to be back in this parking lot in twenty minutes.”

“Got it.” He put the car into drive, then they traveled in silence. He wished it was dark for the cover of night, but broad daylight would have to do. Most of the people on the block worked, he thought. And they were parking a block away, walking through the cluster of trees. It wasn’t perfect, but it was the best they could do.

Waiting for perfect meant another day Baker could plot to hurt one of their girls, and Patrick would gladly go down for this if he knew he’d kept them safe.

They got to the woods, and made their way towards the spot that backed up to Baker’s house. His hands were in his pockets, wrapped tightly around the bottle and accompanying syringe.

Then they were at the edge of the woods, Baker’s dumpy, run-down rental house in front of him, the back door six feet away. “Last chance,” he murmured.

Elizabeth slid out the lock picks from her pocket. “Let’s get this over with.” She showed him her phone with the other hand showing Baker still asleep.

Show time.

August 25, 2022

Update Link: Watch Me Burn – Part 9

Hope everyone is having a good day! I’ve been overwhelmed by the Mad World feedback — I’m so glad everyone liked how the book concluded. I still have to finish formatting the ebook and do a final round of typos, so it won’t be the last you hear of it, but we’re done with it for now.

Just a reminder that next Wednesday is August 31, so the summer schedule ends. There will be no updates on Thursday, September 1, and then I’m back on Friday for the new weekend schedule.

I finished the plot sketch for Fool Me Twice, Book 2 today, which is the last step before chapter breakdown. I spent a year yelling at this book, so it’s great that it’s finally on the right track. I’ll have more information on that this Sunday.

This entry is part 9 of 56 in the Flash Fiction: Watch Me Burn

Written in 57 minutes.


Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth exhaled slowly, watching as Jason processed the news. “I think I should get another attorney,” she began, and Jason focused on her. “If this is going to come back to criminal charges, you’re the one with more exposure and you need Diane to be concentrating on you—”

“He’s threatening you, too,” Jason pointed out. “And Diane just said we can do a waiver of conflict—”

Elizabeth just shook her head. “I don’t think this—” Her voice faltered, and she took a deep, bracing breath. “It’s almost time for Cam to take a nap. I’ll put him down and you can talk about it with Diane—”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Jason began, but stopped as she lifted Cameron into his arms. He’d argue with her later. First he wanted to know exactly what was going on. He waited for Elizabeth to disappear around the corner before looking back at Diane. “Talk.”

Diane pursed her lips, set her briefcase on the desk, and opened it. She removed a legal document, handed it to him. “A preview of the response to the paternity suit—”

“We didn’t file that yet—”

“No, but our claims were going to be pretty standard. Lincoln Frazier was very careful today to make this sound like a preview of his case rather than the threat it was. The only want to avoid this being filed in family court is to not challenge Lucky’s petition for joint custody of both boys.”

Jason grimaced as he flipped through it. “Lucky can’t think this is going to work?”

“If we pull a judge who takes this seriously, he’s honor bound to report evidence of a crime to the criminal court.” Diane studied Jason carefully. “Right now, I represent both of you, so anything you say to me is confidential. Is there any truth to what Lucky is saying?”

“He’s making it sound—” Jason set the paperwork on the desk. “It all happened fast. Manny shot me, and we were fighting on the roof. Lucky took a shot, and Manny went over the edge. When I got downstairs, Manny was dead. But there was no gunshot.”

“How was that missed?” Diane wanted to know. “There was a medal ceremony—”

“I was in surgery for most of the aftermath,” Jason reminded Diane. “I barely survived. There was no cover-up, Diane. Elizabeth wasn’t even involved other than being at the hospital and being on my case. By the time I woke up, Lucky was already being celebrated. Later, I knew the autopsy report didn’t agree with the press, but I figured Alexis didn’t care. Manny was dead.”

“Okay.” Diane touched her throat. “Here’s the part where I give you legal advice. I should tell you to drop the paternity suit. Let this go. Let Elizabeth get her divorce, and settle joint custody—”

“Diane—”

“Later, down the road, you two can get married, and you’ll have your son part of the time—”

Jason just shook his head. “That’s not—”

“I should tell you that,” Diane continued, “but—” She bit her lip. “I’m not going to. I need to talk to Alexis. Find out what the hell is going on. And if there’s still an autopsy report that backs up Lucky Spencer.”

“Diane—”

“Elizabeth has a point. Right now, when it’s just about custody, you two have united interests—” Diane closed her briefcase. “But in a criminal case, if you end up on trial again for this, Elizabeth will be offered a deal to testify against you—”

“There’s nothing to testify—”

“I can’t represent the both of you because it would be in her best interest to take that deal—”

“Which I would never do.”

They turned to look at Elizabeth as she stood on the landing. “We still have a common interest,” she continued. “I would never take a deal to testify against Jason. Even if I knew something—which I don’t. Nothing I could testify to. Lucky knew last year he hadn’t made the shot. It made him crazy and upset. He’s the one that told me. Not Jason. Spousal privilege would protect that in criminal court. I could never testify to it.”

“You two never spoke about this?” Diane asked. “I’m supposed to believe that?”

“It doesn’t matter if we talked about it later. My knowledge doesn’t come from Jason. And Jason wasn’t conscious for most of it. God, Diane, they were planning the medal ceremony almost before he woke up! He almost died! And even if he did shove Manny over the roof, it was self-defense—Manny just kept coming after him—he was never going to stop—”

Diane held up a hand. “All right. All right. If you’re determined, then we’ll sign another waiver. I just wanted you both to think through the possibilities.” She nodded at the paperwork Jason had left on the desk. “As to the paternity suit, do we go forward?”

“What do you want to do?” Jason asked Elizabeth.

“Me? I’m not the one risking everything. You’re the one who the PCPD would go after—”

“They’d go after you, too,” he said roughly, already hating the idea of her being dragged in for questioning, charged as an accomplice.

“I don’t—I don’t care about that. I’m the one who did this, okay? If anyone deserves what’s happening, it’s me—”

“No—”

“I didn’t tell the truth. I deserve it—”

“It sounds like neither one of you want to back down,” Diane broke in, drawing their attention back to her. “You can argue about guilt and blame later. All I want to know is do I tell Lincoln Frazier and his client to go to hell and file the paternity suit?”

“Yes,” Jason said. “File it. If Lucky wants to bring up Manny Ruiz to make us look like unfit parents, I’ve got some stories I can tell, too. He nearly shot her last fall, high on drugs, while trying to kill me.”

Diane blinked. “Well, that does give me something to work with.” She lifted the briefcase. “I’ll be in touch.”

Jason opened the door to let her out, then turned back to Elizabeth. “It’s going to be okay.”

“It just never stops,” she murmured. “There never seems to be a moment where I can just breathe. I’m going to be paying for this lie for the rest of my life. Lucky will make sure of it.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “This is my fault, and I hate that you’re putting your freedom on the line—you just got it back—”

Jason went to her, put his hands on her shoulders to turn her towards him. “If the PCPD wanted me for Manny, they’d have done it. Alexis buried that report because I’d saved Sam’s life and Manny was a threat. You’ll have the official report against the word of an admitted drug addict—”

“I’d give anything to take it back.” She scrubbed her hands down her face. “I’d give anything to just live that moment one more time and not be scared. Not be weak. This never would have happened if I hadn’t lied. If I hadn’t asked you to keep lying.”

“We can’t keep going over this,” Jason said. “Yeah, you asked, but I said yes. This is on me—”

“No, no. Don’t pretend that I didn’t hurt you, okay? I can’t stand when you let me off the hook. You always do.” Elizabeth shrugged, his hands falling away. “I say and do terrible things. I hurt you, I know I did. A thousand times, and you just keep forgiving me. Why don’t you ever get mad at me?” she demanded.

Jason exhaled slowly. “Because I could never hate you. And you’re angry enough for the both of us.” But he could tell that answer hadn’t made her happy. He never knew how to make her happy. “What do you want me to do? Yell at you? Scream? Blame you? I’m not Lucky.”

“No, you’re not.” Elizabeth leaned against the arm of the sofa. “I don’t know. I just—I don’t understand why you’re not more angry. You shouldn’t have to fight this hard for your own son, and I’m the reason you have to—and I hate it—I hate myself—”

“You’re not the one threatening to accuse me of murder. That’s Lucky. He had a choice, Elizabeth. He could have accepted the truth and walked away. He’s the one making this hard for everyone, including himself. Even if I got investigated for Manny’s death, it doesn’t have anything to do with me being a parent. He wants to scare us into backing down. I’m not going to. So be mad at him. Not me.”

“I’m not mad—” Elizabeth frowned at him. “I’m not mad at you.”

“You sure about that? Are you mad that I said yes? Because that’s what it sounds like. You wanted me to fight you, to refuse to let Lucky raise Jake. Maybe a part of you is angry with because I said yes. Maybe you think I don’t love Jake enough—”

“No—No—” Elizabeth shook her head. “No, I didn’t—” She dug her fingers into her scalp, took a deep breath. “No. That’s not what I wanted,” she said softly. “I knew you loved him. I knew you wanted him. I never doubted that.”

“Then what? What should I have done differently? I gave you what you wanted—”

“I never wanted it,” Elizabeth said, then closed her mouth, her eyes widened as if she hadn’t meant to say it. But then she took a deep breath. “I never wanted it,” she repeated. “But I was scared.”

“Scared of what? My job? You keep telling me that it doesn’t bother you—”

“Scared that you’d give my dream to her,” Elizabeth said, her voice so soft that he almost didn’t hear it. She swallowed hard. “I wanted it, and I knew I couldn’t have it.”

Jason tipped his head, stepped closer to her. “Wanted what?”

“The dream.” She closed her eyes. “New Year’s, when I had the accident. I had these dreams. Dreams of telling you and you were so angry at me. And then these other—I dreamed that you knew. That we were sitting here.” She turned, looked at the sofa, with a nearly blank expression on her face. “I was pregnant. And we were a family. You were reading to Cameron. And I wanted that so much.”

Jason’s voice tightened. “I asked you to marry me.”

“I wanted to say yes,” she said, still not looking at him. Still looking at the sofa as if the ghosts of the dream she’d described could still be seen. “I had to bite my tongue to stop.”

“Why?” he demanded roughly. “Why didn’t you?”

“Because you didn’t love me.” Elizabeth finally turned, met his eyes as tears slid down her cheeks. “That’s it. That’s my confession. I asked you to give up Jake because I knew if I told the truth, I’d be alone, and you’d give my dream to Sam. She’d get to have that family, and I would have nothing.” She sucked in a deep breath. “That’s the truth, Jason. I’m not mad at you for letting me keep lying. I’m mad because you didn’t love me. And because of that, I’ve ruined all our lives.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Spinelli checked his watch, wondering if he should head back to the penthouse or give Stone Cold and the Fair Elizabeth more time alone. He didn’t fancy himself a matchmaker, per se, but he figured if they were alone together with the boys, then surely they’d work things out.

“Got a hot date later?” Georgie wanted to know, setting down his burger and fries. “You keep checking your watch.”

“Oh.” He flushed. “No, no. The Jackal just wonders how long he should stay away from home.”

“You know, I think you’ve already done a lot to help Jason with the kids.” Georgie sat down to take her break. “It’s really up to him and Elizabeth now.” She tugged her phone out, frowning at the missed calls that had racked up while she was working. “Someone keeps calling me on a blocked number,” she said with a frown. “And no voicemail.”

Spinelli narrowed his eyes, and she sighed. “Don’t start. It’s not like the flowers—”

“No, it’s worse,” he muttered. “Georgie—”

When he slid past nicknames and used government ones, Georgie knew his concern was real. “Fine. I promise, I’ll tell Mac about the calls.”

“And the flowers.”

“And the flowers.” She patted his arm. “Eat your dinner, then take another ten minutes and head home. That should be enough time.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

She wanted to disappear, to melt into the floor—anything to make this moment over and never speak of it again. But of course this was reality, and Jason was just staring at her like she’d sprouted an extra head—

She might as well have — what made her think this was a good time to drag all of that up? Elizabeth folded her arms nervously. “I should check on the boys.”

“Wait, wait—” Jason caught her arm as she started past him. “We need to talk about this—”

“Talk about what? What an insane person I am? The terrible things I did because I was scared and selfish?” She pulled away. “None of that is news to me—”

“I should have told you,” Jason cut in and she closed her mouth, drawing her brows together in confusion. “A thousand times, I should have told you. I wanted to. But it all got complicated, and I didn’t know if it was even fair—”

“Wait. Told me what?” Elizabeth stepped closer to him, her heart pounding wildly because surely he wasn’t—

“I love you.”

His words hung between them for a long moment — he had nothing else to offer, and she couldn’t force any words over the lump in her throat. Because she wanted so desperately to believe him, but it was too good to be true—she didn’t deserve to hear those words, for them to be true, not after everything she had done—after all the hurt and pain, she wasn’t supposed to get what she wanted—

“Elizabeth—”

“I—” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “You wouldn’t just say that if you didn’t mean it,” she said softly, more to herself than to him, wanting to reassure herself.

Jason grasped her elbow, drew her closer. “No, I wouldn’t. I didn’t know how to tell you before. It didn’t seem fair,” he admitted. “And I was engaged to another woman. Someone I didn’t want to hurt. And I thought you wanted Lucky. So I tried to give you what you wanted.”

“You—back then—you’re—” She couldn’t make sense of any of this. Couldn’t make the world stop spinning for just a moment— “I—”

“For years,” Jason continued, framing her face with his hands, his thumbs brushing tears from her cheeks, “I put what I felt for you in a box, and I buried it. Because I couldn’t have what I wanted. But last year, that night, I let it all out, and I didn’t know how to put it back. I didn’t want to.”

Her lip trembled. “I told myself so many times that it was just comfort, just friendship, but I put you away, too. Then you looked at me, and it was like none of that had happened. Like we were just starting all over again. I messed it  up—”

“No,” he murmured. “We’re not doing that anymore. Okay? It happened. It’s over. And now we’re standing here. Tell me,” his breath warm against her mouth. “Give me the words so I can give them back.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” And then he kissed her, and the world went away.

Update Links: Mad World, Book 4 – Chapter 115 & Epilogue

A long time ago, practically in another life, Ric married Alexis. I sat at home wondering what would happen if Elizabeth had walked in on him marrying another woman with their divorce barely finalized. That was November 2004, and I was still a pantser. I wrote that scene and then continued writing about other characters, and without really thinking about it, I added a scene between Brooke Lynn and Diego. Brooke’s sexual assault is the only real thread that ties the original Mad World from the Fiction Graveyard to this series, but without that scene added randomly when I was 20, I wouldn’t have written these books.

Mad World was only ever supposed to be one book — a story about a serial rapist set in the aftermath of the panic room.  It continued to grow until it was four books, more than a hundred chapters, and over half a million words in length. These were the first books I wrote where I completed the entire story before posting, something I’ve always wanted to do because it allowed me to really edit, add, or cut scenes.

In Book 2, at the end, Dante visits Vinnie in jail — that scene wasn’t in the original draft (I wrote the entire book completely forgetting Vinnie and Dante were cousins because I only used it as a story excuse for Dante being in Port Charles!). But without that scene, Dante’s story in the next two books doesn’t exist.  The majority of Book 3 wasn’t planned — but now I can’t imagine the series without those chapters, without really exploring the aftermath of the serial rapist.

I’m incredibly proud of this insane series, and I want to thank you guys for going on the journey with me and for falling in love with characters who weren’t Jason and Elizabeth. It meant a lot to me. If you get to the end of the book, I hope you’ll give me a quick reply. I’d love to hear what your favorite part was.

It’s time to close the book on this mad, mad, mad world.

This entry is part 41 of 41 in the Mad World: Liberty


And I know that I deserve your love
There’s nothing I’m not worthy of
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
This is brave, this is bruised
This is who I’m meant to be, this is me

This is Me (Reimagined), Keala Settle, Missy Elliot and Kesha


Friday. August 13, 2004

Isola dei Cappuccini near Sardinia, Italy

The sun glinted off the Tyrrhenian Sea, making it shine like diamonds. Isola dei Cappuccini was little more than a hunk of rock five miles off the northern coast of Sardinia. It had once been home to a monastery that had been abandoned centuries earlier. Now, it belonged to a wealthy member of the Sicilian mafia, Dominic Caruso and rumored to be a cemetery for any man, woman, or even child who crossed the lethal man.

At the moment, it served as a hiding place for Dominic’s goddaughter who had sought refuge in the small bungalow on the coast, the one proper beach front area on the entire island.

Claudia Zacchara had always prided herself on her pragmatism. She’d waited all her adult life to maneuver herself into her father’s organization, to eliminate the lunatic, and take over.  To take the power for herself.

The alliance with Ric Lansing had wasted the most time, but it hadn’t been her first failure, and it might not be the last.

Claudia sighed and leaned back against the lounge chair, sliding one arm above her head, trying to remember how long she’d been out here.  The sun felt glorious against her skin, as it had for all the weeks she’d been in hiding.

Johnny had been a disappointment. Claudia hadn’t counted on him risking the silly blonde — she’d make him pay for that, eventually. She’d never hurt her baby brother — it was hardly his fault he was weak. No, she’d make the blonde nurse pay for his crimes and he’d learn a valuable lesson about crossing her.

A few more months to lay low, let the trail grow even colder, and she’d reach out to others in the syndicate. Claudia had heard rumors that Philly was unhappy with the new status quo, and there was always the fun of unleashing her old friend, Javi, and his little brother.

Her lips curved into a wicked smirk at the thought of Javier and Manny Ruiz running wild on the streets of Port Charles. She’d saved them, only dipping in here and there. When you had a weapon like them in your back pocket, you didn’t pull them out for just anyone.

Towards the end, Claudia had realized that Ric’s obsession with making that stupid little waif pay for her imagined crimes would end in disaster. Pity. He’d been decent in bed, and that was always hard to find. It certainly was a shame that Jason Morgan was a married man and actually believed in loyalty and fidelity. An absolute waste of a beautiful, well-built man.

No, the Ruiz brothers would be perfect for her next grab for power, and this time, when the dust settled, Claudia would reign above them all—

She was dead before she finished the thought, a small circle appearing in her forehead, a slight trickle of blood sliding down the bridge of her nose, disappearing beneath the sunglasses.

She hadn’t heard the quiet footprints in the sand and luckily for him, she’d been too arrogant to hire security to patrol the island or the house where the only visitor was a housekeeper who took the boat from Sardinia weekly. The woman, Marina, had visited the day before. No one would find the body for another week.

He’d been very careful and had planned this moment down to the smallest detail. He’d searched for this final loose end since the day she’d kidnapped his wife and his best friend, delivering them to the man who had haunted their nightmares for nearly a year.

And still did, even months after that terrible day. Some problems couldn’t be fixed with a bullet in the brain.

Jason Morgan waited until Claudia Zacchara’s chest stopped rising, then felt for a pulse. Finally, he shot her one more time in the head. After Ric Lansing had returned from the dead, it was better to be safe than sorry. He left the way he’d arrived, traipsing back up the beach to the quiet house, down to the dock and the boat he’d left tied up. He started the engine.

He had an appointment to keep.

Sardinia, Italy

Villa Stella Marina: Private Beach

Fifty miles away from Isola del Cappuccini, Elizabeth cuddled her infant son closer to her chest. They were tucked safely under the shade of the cabana that opened to the wide, beautiful ocean. Cameron was five months old as of the week before, though his adjusted age was only three months. She looked forward to the day when she didn’t have to do that math—to subtract time from her little boy’s life because he’d spent all those weeks in the NICU.

But that was still months away, and she was going to enjoy the precious time she had with him. He could be out in the sun for maybe an hour a day, less if they were in direct sunlight, and she wanted to enjoy every minute.

“Daddy had to take care of a little business,” she said, stroking his back as the infant dozed in the sun. “But he’ll be back soon. Maybe tomorrow, we can convince him to take us out on the boat. Just for a little while.”

And even if they couldn’t this trip, Jason promised they’d be back. Maybe not to Sardinia, but Italy was going to be their place. Their escape.

“There you are.”

Elizabeth turned at the sound of his voice and beamed. “You’re back early. I thought you said it might take the rest of the day.”

“Got lucky.” Jason perched on the end of the lounge chair, smiling at Cameron who slept on. “He’s not even awake to enjoy the sun.”

“No, but I am, and that’s enough.” She sighed happily, then took a deep breath. She’d never take that simple motion for granted again — since her surgery in June, her health had bounced back, and she felt better today than she had in more than a year.

“There’s room,” Elizabeth said, wiggling to the side, then sitting up and scooting forward. “You wanna sit with us?” Jason climbed behind her, then tucked them both against his chest. “I could sit like this forever,” she said, laying her head back.

“Me, too.”

“But he can’t,” Elizabeth said with a sigh. “We’ve got maybe twenty minutes until he needs to go in.”

“We’ll put him down for another nap later,” Jason told her, looping his arms around her waist. “And come back out. We’ve got the monitor,” he added.

“Mmm, sounds like a plan.” She closed her eyes, resting her cheek against his heart, listening to it beat. He liked to watch her sleep, to check her breathing, even now, she knew that, but she liked to lay like this and feel his warmth, strength surrounding her, feeling the beating of his heart. “No trouble?” she asked softly.

“None. In and out.” He kissed the side of her head. “It’s over. That’s the last of it.”

“Good.” Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “Good.”

Monday, January 31, 2005

Port Charles Hotel: Lobby

“I feel like I’m running a thousand marathons today,” Elizabeth complained as she crossed the lobby to meet Carly at the desk. “I’m sorry I’m late. I had to pick something up from a professor, and then the support meeting ran late—” She made a face, looked at her watch. “I’ve still got to pick up dinner from Eli’s—”

“Only you,” Carly said with a roll of her eyes, “would eat Eli’s on your wedding anniversary. Thanks for meeting me here. I just wanted a second opinion on something before I sign the contract.” She folded her arms as they went down the hallway towards the conference rooms and event spaces. “It is absolutely insane that I’m opening a club in this hotel. I’m working with the Quartermaines.”

“Well, it seems like a good way to keep business from being siphoned off to 101 or the Cellar and keep diners from the restaurant in the building—” They stopped outside one of the ballrooms, and Elizabeth smiled wistfully at the space across the hall where they’d posed for their wedding photos. A year ago. It seemed like yesterday — and a million years all at the same time. “I don’t know what opinion you want from me, but—”

“Well, actually—” Carly tipped her head. “That was a lie.”

Elizabeth frowned. “What?”

“I lied to you. Felt good, actually. I haven’t done a lot of it in the last year,” Carly continued. “Haven’t need to, I guess. But it’s good to know I’ve still got it.” She smiled. “It’s January 31. Your anniversary.”

“Uh, yeah. I know. You’re baby-sitting for us tonight—” Elizabeth stopped, then looked at the room where they’d stopped. Then looked back at Carly. “What’s going on?”

Carly went across the hall, opened the door, and went inside. A moment later, she emerged with a garment bag. “It’s not the exact same one,” she continued, “because you know, you’re not pregnant anymore. But Emily and I found the designer who—”

“Carly—”

“After the panic room, Jason made me a promise. That he would find a way for me to be okay again. He kept that promise. He kept it for the both of us, even when it was hard. Even when it cost him, and it would have been easier not to. I’m okay. It took me a long time to get here. I can’t get the life I had back. There’s so much Ric stole from both of us that’s just gone. But there’s one thing—” She paused. “There’s one thing he had a part in ruining that we get to fix today. If you’re up for it. And Jason said he made you a promise about today. He didn’t forget.”

Carly gestured towards the door where she’d hidden the dress. “So, if you want, we’ll get you changed, and you can go find out what else Jason has planned for you today.”

Elizabeth exhaled slowly, looked down at the garment bag. She’d asked Jason if they could dance on their anniversary to the song she’d picked for them. She’d planned it all for home — a light, easy night with a ride on the cliffs, ribs from Eli’s, and a dance in their living room.

She had a feeling that something else waited behind those doors. Something better.

“Let’s go.”

Port Charles Hotel: Renaissance Room

Jason felt a little like an idiot as he waited in the middle of the ball room, not far from the table where dinner waited. He was dressed in the tuxedo he’d worn at the wedding, and the room looked exactly like it had a year earlier, thanks to Emily and the wedding planner who’d kept all their notes.

But last year it had been filled with people, and now Jason was just waiting in an empty room all by himself, having second thoughts. Maybe he should have asked for Bobbie to come. To walk her in or something. Or maybe Elizabeth didn’t feel like doing this. She’d been working so hard since the semester had started, and Cameron was getting bigger, and he was crawling now. He’d nearly caught up developmentally—only a month behind. She’d left the penthouse so early that morning—

The door to the hallway opened, and Jason’s thoughts skittered to a stop as Carly stepped in. “Hey. You look great.” She met him halfway, adjusted the tie on his tux. “We did this at a different wedding,” she murmured, smiling up at him. “Standing outside the church. I fixed your tie, straightened your jacket. And then you went inside.”

“I remember.”

“And then I got your wedding canceled in a very dramatic fashion,” she continued. “I’m not saying I wanted to get kidnapped, but we do find our silver linings wherever we can.” Carly met his eyes. “I’m so glad that I get to help this time. That I get to make this happen for you. And I get to make it a little better.”

“Better?” Jason frowned.

“You didn’t think I’d let you do this all on your own, did you?” she smiled. She went back over to the door, opened it, and Elizabeth stepped into view—wearing the same dress as last year—Carly must have done something, because Jason knew the one hanging in their closet wouldn’t have fit Elizabeth.

And next to her, Bobbie stood, her arm looped through Elizabeth’s side. “You didn’t think I’d miss this part of the tradition, did you?” Bobbie asked. She handed Elizabeth the bouquet in her arms. “You didn’t get to do this last year. Carly and I nearly threw an entire party to make up for it—” Jason winced, and Bobbie laughed. “But maybe we’ll save that. So, go ahead and toss it.”

Elizabeth grinned, closed her eyes, and then heaved the bouquet over her head—where it smacked Bobbie in the chest. Carly had ducked out of the way. “I guess you’re next,” she teased the redhead who had been more of a mother to her than her own.

“Better warn Scott,” Carly quipped. Bobbie scowled at them both, then gave the bouquet to her daughter. She took Elizabeth’s hand and walked her across the ballroom to Jason.

“It’s been a wonderful year watching the two of you start your family,” Bobbie told them. “Thank you for letting me be a part of it. Have a wonderful night. You know that Cameron is safe with me.”

“Always.” Elizabeth hugged her, and Jason kissed her cheek. Carly and Bobbie left, closing the door behind them. She grinned at him, then turned in her dress, the soft, floaty fabric of her skirt lifting in the air. “I can’t believe you thought of this—”

“I didn’t,” Jason admitted, taking her by the hand and drawing her in for a kiss. “Carly must have. I asked her to buy you something nice.”

“Oh.” Her eyes filled. “I mean she said she and Emily—I just—” She looked around the room. “But you did this part. It looks like it did that day. And there’s no one else here. Just the way you like it.”

“You know me so well,” he murmured, kissing her again. “I owe you a dance.” He went over to the table and pressed a button. Somewhere, music started to float out of the speakers, and her tears spilled over. “Emily told me the song you wanted.”

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see

Jason held out his hand. She took it, then he drew her against him, holding their joined hands against his chest. “I hope you didn’t have any other plans for tonight,” he said. “I’m not messing anything up, am I?”

You were my strength when I was weak

“Absolutely not.” They gently swayed as the music swelled around them. “We can do my plans any time. This is much better.”

You were my voice when I couldn’t speak

 He raised his brows. “Really? I don’t believe that.”

You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me

“Just a ride, some ribs at Eli’s, and this song sitting in our CD player at home.” Elizabeth smiled up at him. “This is perfect. Even better than it would have been last year.”

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach

“Well, yeah, no one else is here.”

You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love, I had it all

She laughed, long and deep, her eyes sparkling. “No, because I’m not tired and pregnant. My feet aren’t swollen, and I can take deep breaths.” Elizabeth leaned up, brushed her mouth against his. “We didn’t get our wedding night, but I think we can have our anniversary night.”

Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

She’d left her hair down, loose around her shoulders, exactly the way he liked it. He slid his fingers through the soft curls, then cupped her face, sweeping his thumbs across her cheeks. A year ago, he’d been too scared to think about what would happen next—that the promise he’d made her couldn’t be kept.

And now she stood before him, in his arms, more beautiful than any day before. “How did I get so lucky?” he murmured, more to himself than to her, and Elizabeth smiled.

I’m everything I am

“You picked the right night to go to Jake’s. I didn’t even know what I was looking for until I found you. And now neither of us ever have to remember what nothing feels like. I have everything I want.”

“We both do.”


Because you loved me

 

THE END FOR REAL AND FOREVER
(UNLESS I HAVE A REALLY GOOD IDEA FOR A BOOK 5)
(JUST KIDDING)
(PROBABLY)


A long time ago, practically in another life, Ric married Alexis. I sat at home wondering what would happen if Elizabeth had walked in on him marrying another woman with their divorce barely finalized. That was November 2004, and I was still a pantser. I wrote that scene and then continued writing about other characters, and without really thinking about it, I added a scene between Brooke Lynn and Diego. Brooke’s sexual assault is the only real thread that ties the original Mad World from the Fiction Graveyard to this series, but without that scene added randomly when I was 20, I wouldn’t have written these books.

Mad World was only ever supposed to be one book — a story about a serial rapist set in the aftermath of the panic room.  It continued to grow until it was four books, more than a hundred chapters, and over half a million words in length. These were the first books I wrote where I completed the entire story before posting, something I’ve always wanted to do because it allowed me to really edit, add, or cut scenes.

In Book 2, at the end, Dante visits Vinnie in jail — that scene wasn’t in the original draft (I wrote the entire book completely forgetting Vinnie and Dante were cousins because I only used it as a story excuse for Dante being in Port Charles!). But without that scene, Dante’s story in the next two books doesn’t exist.  The majority of Book 3 wasn’t planned — but now I can’t imagine the series without those chapters, without really exploring the aftermath of the serial rapist.

I’m incredibly proud of this insane series, and I want to thank you guys for going on the journey with me and for falling in love with characters who weren’t Jason and Elizabeth. It meant a lot to me. If you get to the end of the book, I hope you’ll give me a quick reply. I’d love to hear what your favorite part was.

It’s time to close the book on this mad, mad, mad world.

This entry is part 40 of 41 in the Mad World: Liberty

It’s the story of your life
You’re tearing out the page
New chapter underway
The story of your life
You live it everyday
You can run, you run
But you won’t get away
I don’t know what’s coming up
Where will you go now
It’s the story of your life

Story of Your Life, Five for Fighting


Thursday, June 10, 2004

Port Charles Courthouse: Family Court B

When the end came, it was anti-climatic, really. Just a stamp on a piece of paper and an order granted. Carly Corinthos became Carly Benson, and Sonny Corinthos was no longer Michael’s legal father. Carly stared down at the white paper and black text, a bit mystified at how it all had ended with a whimper.

“You know he’ll drop one of the last names,” Lucas told her as Carly blinked at him. “Michael Alan Benson-Quartermaine. He’ll decide the Q name is more useful, and it’ll be done—”

“But it’ll be his choice.” Carly looked over at AJ, standing with his grandfather and parents, grinning. He had every right to look like he’d scored a victory. Sonny was gone, and Michael was back in the Quartermaine fold. Not officially. That would still take time. Carly had put her son back into therapy—family counseling this time, and they were reintroducing AJ slowly.

She’d fought so long for her idea what Michael’s family should look like, it seemed so strange to be done with it.

“I didn’t expect it to go through so fast,” Carly murmured. “But Sonny—” He’d dropped all opposition to her divorce and custody demands and had relinquished his rights to Michael and Morgan.

A man on his way to prison didn’t have much to fight for, he’d told her with those sad eyes the last time she’d met with him, and he’d signed over most of his property to hold in trust for Morgan.

“Are you okay?” Lucas asked. She sighed, then shook her head.

“What does that even feel like?” she murmured. She tucked the paperwork into her bag. “Thanks for being here today. I know it was just a formality—” Carly bit her lip. “I’m just glad I wasn’t alone.” She looked over at AJ, surrounded by his family, then back at her brother. “I know I’ll never be your favorite person, but you’ve been so good to my boys. They’re lucky to have you.”

“They’re pretty cool kids.” Lucas shoved his hands in his pockets. “You can’t choose who you’re related to,” he told her. “My mom adopted me and that made us siblings. I didn’t always like that—”

“And I didn’t always care,” she offered with a half-smile.

“But it’s different now. You’re not the older sister I wanted,” he continued. “That’ll always be BJ. But you’re the older sister I have, and I’m cool with that.” Lucas tipped his head towards the door. “You wanna grab lunch? Felix is meeting me at Kelly’s.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I would. Let me just go talk to AJ about our next appointment with the counselor.” Carly took a deep breath and crossed the room, prepared to responsibly co-parent with her first ex-husband.

Friday, June 11, 2004

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Jason grimaced in front of the mirror, then unwound his tie to begin again. “If you give me a minute,” Elizabeth called from the bathroom, “I can help—”

“I’ve got it.” Jason tightened the knot, then went over to pick Cameron up from his bassinet, remembering almost at the last minute to grab a spit blanket. “You don’t have to go—”

Elizabeth fastened her bra, then reached for the dress on the hanger behind her. “No, but I want to.” She tugged it over her head, then scooped her hair out of the collar. “And Sonny should have people there, I guess.”

Especially since she knew the Spencers were going and would be sitting on the prosecution side. The whole room would be filled with media and gawkers ready to see the infamous Sonny Corinthos go down for murder.

“The papers—”

“The papers will print anything they want. I’m going to support you, and it’s not like you’re paying for some legal team to get Sonny off the hook.” She pressed her lips to Cameron’s head, then stretched up to kiss Jason. “It’s a sentencing. It’s done. And it’s the last time Sonny will be free for a long time. We both know how hard this will be for him.”

“He just gave up,” Jason said. He leaned against the door frame. “He wouldn’t let Justus argue to throw out the confession. He completely caved on the divorce and gave up the kids. He barely agreed to let Justus plea it down to fifteen years.” He exhaled slowly. “He gave up,” he repeated.

Elizabeth studied him for a long moment and thought about how this conversation would sound to someone who didn’t know Jason, hadn’t considered Sonny a friend. To the rest of the world, Sonny had murdered a man in cold blood to cover up the drugging of a young girl he’d been sleeping with.

But that was a version of Sonny they’d never known. It hadn’t been the man who’d held out a hand to Jason, struggling and lost after the accident had stolen his life. Or offered compassion to a young girl broken from the grief of her first love.

Sonny would always be a man of contradictions, and it was hard for Jason to admit that somewhere along the way, their Sonny had been lost to them.

“Maybe there was more we could have done,” Elizabeth said softly. “I think we both knew he struggled when he came home from Ferncliffe. No one wanted to give him another chance. You tried, but it was too hard. He always wanted more than we were ready to give. He fought as long as he could, Jason. I can honestly believe that. But the darkness inside him—we couldn’t save him. It was always going to swallow him whole.”

“Yeah.” Jason stroked Cameron’s back, swaying slightly as the newborn dozed, his eyes fluttering against his father’s chest. “I know. But it doesn’t make it easier.”

Port Charles Court House: Hallway

Ned scowled at the reporter from the Sun following him and ducked down another hallway, hoping to lose the pain in the ass. One of the drawbacks of being mayor, he thought to himself, then stopped when he saw Lois sitting on one of the benches, pressing her hands against her cheeks. “Lois?”

“Ned—” She cleared her throat, and got to her feet, swiping at her eyes again. “I’m sorry. I thought we were meeting in the court room—”

“No—” He stopped her. “We were. I was just hiding from the tabloids. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing—” Lois closed her eyes. “June 11,” she murmured. “A year ago today, I told Brooke she was coming to live here.”

His chest tightened. “I didn’t—”

“You wouldn’t have known. Couldn’t have,” she added. “I didn’t call you until the next day, but I just couldn’t communicate with her anymore. We couldn’t hear each other, and I was just— I was so scared that something terrible would happen if I kept leaving her in the city while I went on tour—I should have quit,” Lois spat. “I hated touring. I don’t even miss it, and I could have quit. I could have turned the agency over—I did it anyway—”

“Lois—”

“But I was bitter. I’d done all the work and you hadn’t done any, so I just shipped her off to you like it was your turn. That’s what I thought about my baby. I was too tired to deal with her anymore, so let her drive you crazy for a while—” Lois faltered. “I’d give anything to go back. To make another choice. Any other choice—”

“I know.” He folded her in his arms, thinking of his own meeting with Brooke the day she’d arrived. He’d dragged Dillon in to help him and hadn’t he given up, too? Hadn’t he just let Brooke go her own way in Port Charles? “I was even worse. I was a terrible father—”

“Ned—”

“We could spend the rest of our lives picking out the moments when we were wrong. No one is a perfect parent. Even my own grandmother who comes close—she pushed my mother to marry my father because she thought Mom should settle down.”

“God.” Lois exhaled in a rush. “And we sit here blaming ourselves when the only one to blame is that piece of shit Vinny for what he did to her. I hope he’s rotting in jail. I hope they’re beating him every day until his lungs—” She stopped. “Okay. Okay. That’s enough of that. We need to go to this sentencing because—” She blinked. “Why are we going again?”

“Because he’s Kristina’s biological father, and Alexis feels guilty. I’m going for her, and you’re coming for the both of us.” He slung an arm around her waist. “Come on. Keep me company.”

Court Room B

Jason sat next to Elizabeth, taking her hand in his and holding it tightly in his lap. He could feel the cool metal of her wedding and engagement rings against his skin, and for some reason, it reassured him.

Elizabeth offered him a slight small smile, then squeezed his knee with her other hand. “Almost there,” she reminded him softly, then nodded at the table in front of them where Justus was shuffling some papers around and Sonny’s head was bowed. Across the aisle, there was a district attorney Jason didn’t recognize. Scott had stepped aside of course, and so had Kelsey Joyce. Both of them were sitting opposite.

Jason couldn’t look at them. Couldn’t look at the young woman who’d nearly died to bring Vinnie Esposito to justice and know that Sonny had murdered her father. At Scott, who worked hard to give Elizabeth and Carly closure when Sonny had drugged and slept with his daughter. Next to them was an unfamiliar woman, but she looked a little like Kelsey. That must be her mother.

And in the next row sat the Spencers. Luke, Laura, Lucky—and then Dante and Lulu. Dante, the son Sonny would never know. Luke, the former partner who’d known all along what kind of man Sonny was and might have gone to his grave with those secrets.

On this side of the aisle, it was just Jason and Elizabeth. No one else had come for Sonny, and even Elizabeth wasn’t here for Sonny. Only Jason sat in this room to give him a measure of support.

And he felt like a fraud. Did he even want to be here? A few months ago, he’d shoved Sonny against the wall and nearly choked the life out of him. He would have killed him without regrets. Jason knew he was part of the reason Sonny had given up the fight and was going to prison. There was nothing left for him outside, and Jason hadn’t lifted a finger to change that fact. Not really.

How much did Jason really owe to Sonny for those days in the beginning? When he’d loaned Jason money for a cab fare and bought him a burger? He’d been kind, but maybe he’d seen from the beginning how desperate Jason was for approval, for acceptance. For someone to believe in him.

Had Sonny ever truly loved him like a brother? Or were those just words? Had they meant anything to him?

He’d never know the answer to that now, but this was a day to close the door on Sonny. He’d go to Sing Sing and disappear into the prison system. If he came home after a decade—

Elizabeth squeezed his knee again and he looked at her, at the worry reflected back at him. “Are you okay?” she mouthed.

He shook his head slightly, then focused on the judge. He realized with a start that it was the same judge that had presided over Vinnie’s sentencing in December.

“I have here a sentencing recommendation from the state—” The judge peered at the court. “And the defense has signed off?”

“Yes, Your Honor,” Justus said, briefly rising then taking his seat again.

“No impact statements?” the judge asked the state, and the ADA at the other table just shook their heads.

“All right, then let’s proceed. Michael Corinthos, Jr., please stand.” Sonny dragged himself to his feet, swaying slightly. Justus also got to his feet again. “You are pleading guilty to a charge of murder in the second degree, a violation of New York State Penal Code 125.25, a Class A-1 felony. Is that correct?”

“Yes, Your Honor,” Sonny said.

“As part of your plea agreement, you are directed to allocute to the details of your crime. Please proceed.”

“I shot Oliver Joyce,” Sonny said. And then he said nothing else. The judge frowned, glanced at the ADA who was scowling.

“Mr. Corinthos, I cannot accept your guilty plea if I am not satisfied that you are making it willingly and knowingly. You must offer details, not simply statements. Mr. Ward—”

“We prepared a statement, Your Honor,” Justus assured him. He glanced at Sonny who closed his eyes. “A moment.”

Sonny turned then, looked behind him for the first time, and saw that the rows behind him were empty, beyond the back row which been reserved for the press. Then he looked at the other side—his eyes held Luke’s for a moment, before rolling over Dante, then Scott—and finally to Kelsey.

He cleared his throat and looked back at the judge. “I managed the Paradise Lounge,” he said, but his voice was a little clearer now. “It was strip club. Oliver Joyce was the business manager. He kept the books for a few clubs. He didn’t care for my relationships with some of the dancers. They often used drugs and I—” Sonny cleared his throat. “I gave them the drugs sometimes. When he found out one of the women was the daughter of a friend, he decided he was going to turn me in. He’d report me for some financial crimes or something. I was never sure what. He confronted me and told me that he didn’t think I was a bad person, but that I needed to pay for what I’d done to Karen. To the other girls. He was going to give me a chance to come clean. I—” Sonny swallowed hard. “I agreed. I told him that I’d go to the PCPD, and he offered to come with me. To help me get started.”

He waited a long moment, and Jason dimly heard crying from the other side of the aisle. Kelsey’s mother had dissolved into tears, Scott had an arm around her.

“But I waited until we were on a quiet road, and I made him pull over. I said I wasn’t sure. I had second thoughts. I couldn’t do it. Ollie—he argued with me. He said that this was my chance to get out. To be a better man. That’s what he was gonna do. He wanted to be better. His little girl was growing up, and he wanted her to look at him with respect. I still had a chance, he said. I was young—” Sonny closed his eyes. “I shot him then. In the head. And then I wiped down the car and left. I called a guy on my payroll at the PCPD, and the whole thing got written off as a car accident.”

He’d murdered that man in cold blood. The words sank in, the horror of them, as Jason struggled to process the facts. A tax case. Sonny might have served a year. Oliver Joyce could have gotten out and left Port Charles. Instead, the man had given Sonny a second chance and had paid with his life.

He heard Elizabeth’s breath hitch next to him and he glanced over to see silent tears shimmering in her eyes.

In front of them, the judge had accepted Sonny’s statement and had moved on to the sentencing. “On the single count of murder in the second degree, I hereby sentence you, Michael Corinthos, Jr. to a serve a sentence not exceeding fifteen years in a state penitentiary.”

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Queen of Angels Cemetery

Kelsey stepped forward and laid the bouquet of flowers beneath the tombstone marking her father’s short life. Lucky slid his arm around her waist. “He was a good man, wasn’t she?” she murmured.

“He was.”

“He wasn’t even trying to ruin Sonny’s life. He wanted to give him a chance to get out. To look at his life.” Her voice faltered. “He died because of that.”

“He died because Sonny was too selfish to admit he’d been caught.” And because that was the world Oliver Joyce had chosen to live in for all those years, but Lucky didn’t say that. He knew how easy it was to get swept up in the mafia. How close had he come to following in his father’s footsteps? He’d been a courier for Jason, hadn’t he? And if Jason hadn’t left the business even briefly, would Lucky have moved up?

Kelsey looked over at Scott, his hands shoved into the pockets of his suit jacket. “Scott—”

“Crazy fool,” Scott muttered at the tombstone. “Always believed the best about everyone. How he survived working for Frank Smith for so long with that kind of attitude—” He knelt down and tossed the flowers—a bunch of daisies—next to Kelsey’s. “Thank you, Ollie. For looking out for my girl. For doing right by her. I’ll try to do the same for yours.”

Scott got back to his feet and looked at Kelsey, his eyes red. “So many years I chased the dream of getting Sonny Corinthos to pay for what he did to my daughter. I wanted him to go down for something. I thought—” He looked back at the grave. “I thought it would feel different.”

Lucky studied this man who had been part of the reason his mother had broken down—but had also pushed him into the academy. Towards the life that gave him Dante and Cruz—and Kelsey, the best part of it. “If we enjoyed it, we wouldn’t be much better than the people we go after, would we?”

Scott smirked, but then nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. You can rest now, Ollie.” He touched the top of the grave. “Be at peace.”

Sunday, June 27, 2004

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

“I was thinking,” Elizabeth said as she handed a clean and dry Cameron to Jason so she could change out of her damp tank top. “Maybe next summer, we can start looking for a house.”

“A house?” Jason echoed. He furrowed his brow. “Why wait until then?”

“Well, I have my surgery tomorrow, and I’ll be useless for like a month. We’re going to Italy in August, then I’ll be at school—” She slid her arms around his waist and kissed him. Cameron cooed, then batted his hand against her cheek. She laughed and broke away, reaching for son. “Jealous?” She bounced him slightly. “Anyway, by then, he should be taking his first steps and I want him to have a yard.” She chewed her lip. “I mean, we could keep the penthouse for security, but—”

“Yeah. I want him to have a yard, too.” He leaned over and kissed her again. “You want me to feed him?”

“No.” She smiled down at Cameron, at her perfect baby. A year ago tonight, she’d been nearly at her lowest. Already on the verge of the embolism that would almost kill her—but it had also been the first time she’d looked at Jason and he’d looked back like he still cared. He’d kissed her.

And nothing had ever been the same.

“I won’t be able to do much with him for almost a month,” she reminded Jason. “So I want to do everything while I can.”

“It’s almost over,” he promised her, brushing his lips against her forehead. “And we’ll get on with the rest of our lives.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

“You know,” Maxie said, sliding her arm through Cruz’s as they walked towards the diner, “about six months ago you and I had a conversation.”

“Why did all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up?” he wanted to know.

“You told me your birthday was in June,” Maxie reminded him. She stopped him just at the entrance. “And that you didn’t do much for it. I declared you a man of mystery, and I was determined to solve it. You looked so damn nervous.”

His eyes widened and he started to look towards the windows of the diner, realizing too late that the blinds had been pulled down.

“But that’s because of your family, isn’t it?” Maxie asked. “You never talk about them, and you didn’t tell any of us were gay even after we practically adopted Felix, and I’m not sure I don’t like him better than Lucas sometimes—” She tipped her head. “Because they rejected you.”

The pain of that squeezed his chest. “Maxie—”

“You don’t have to talk about it. You really don’t. But as soon as we saw you at the club a few months ago, I started to connect the dots, and I made a few phone calls. June 27. You’re twenty-four today.” Maxie went around him to the door, but faced him, reaching behind her for the knob. “In Port Charles, we don’t give a crap about blood. We pick our families, and once I decide to like you, Cruz Rodriguez, there’s no going back.”

She shoved the door open, and then the lights flipped on, and sound exploded as a crowd screamed “Happy Birthday!” Cruz saw Dante and Lucky, Lulu, Kelsey, even Emily and her boyfriend Nikolas. Lucas and Felix. Georgie, Kyle, Dillon—

Everyone he’d met over the last year. And everyone who knew the truth about him.

Maxie beamed as he took it in, then just looked at her. “You’re not a mystery anymore, Cruz. Happy birthday.”

Monday, June 28, 2004

General Hospital: ICU

It never got easier to see Elizabeth laying in a hospital bed, her face pale, her nails unpainted, and a ventilator tube taped to her mouth. Even though Jason knew she’d come through her surgery with flying colors, that Monica said they’d cleared her lungs of all scar tissue, and that she was as good as cured of the condition that had nearly stolen their future.

None of that mattered. Jason wouldn’t be able to relax until she opened her eyes and looked at him. Until she was breathing on her own.

Nearly three hours after she’d come out of the post-op, her eyes fluttered, and she started to cough. Monica was already there, and with Epiphany, they pulled out the tube. Jason had the straw at her lips before Elizabeth had even fully opened her eyes.

“You’re…getting…too…good at that,” she managed, but then she opened her eyes fully. Looked at him. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“It’s done?”

“It’s done.” Jason nodded at Monica. “Monica said we got everything. It’s done. And it’s over.”

“Good. Love you.” Elizabeth closed her eyes, her head lolled to the side, and she drifted back into sleep. But this time, her chest was rising and falling on her own.

“I love you, too.” He slid her wedding ring and engagement ring back on her hand, kissed her palm, and sat back to watch her breathe.

August 24, 2022

Update Link: The Last Time – Scenes 19-20

Got a little bit of a late start on this tonight — had a massive migraine and my TMJ was acting up, so I took some meds and a nap. Only writing for half hour.   If you’re subscribed to the update lists, you’ll get two emails tomorrow. Usually when Mad World updates on the same day as Flash Fiction, I just wait to do the links at the same time. But since it’s the last one and my updates for Flash Fiction are at night, I’ll be doing two posts.