This is set during the summer of 2004, shortly after Elizabeth returned from California with Cameron and had finalized her divorce from Ric. She was drifting a bit storyline wise for a while (I imagine because the show had given her an easy schedule since her maternity leave was pretty short), and she shared a few scenes with Sam.
That summer, Sam had become pregnant with Sonny’s baby but Jason had claimed it for reasons that have never made sense to me other than Sam was a failed character within the first six months of her existence and she was on her third relationship. Anyway, I didn’t mind Sam much at first and I thought, under circumstances, she and Elizabeth could have been friends since they both disliked Courtney and Carly.
Inspiration
I wrote this just as an exploratory piece. What would Sam and Elizabeth be like friends? It’s also a little bit inspired by the song by Britney Spears.
Banner Here
Elm St. Pier
Elizabeth Webber Lansing sat on the bench and lifted her two month old son out of his stroller. Cameron Webber gurgled and smiled at her. He had big brown eyes—Zander’s eyes and it broke her heart he would never know his father.
Ric had wanted to be his father—but for all the wrong reasons and though he had been a good husband and would have been an exemplary father, she’d never forgive herself for exposing her child to the hatred that lurked in Ric’s heart.
She had sold some paintings in California and would have enough money to live comfortably on until Cameron was a little older. Audrey was planning on retiring from the hospital at the end of the year and at that point, she would take care of Cameron while she helped to fund Elizabeth’s dream of opening an art gallery.
Her life was firmly back on track. She was a mother, she was a granddaughter, a best friend. And soon she would be a divorced woman again. She just had to work up the courage to file.
Emily had been encouraging her call Alexis almost since Elizabeth had left town and now that she was home—well maybe she would.
She heard rapid footsteps on the dock steps behind her and the brisk no nonsense voice of Nikolas’s aunt. “You just stay away from me, do you hear me?” Alexis Davis snapped. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs—Elizabeth hidden from her view by a large bush. “I don’t want you near me or my daughter. You just—just stop coming around.”
“Now now, Counselor, there’s no reason get so upset.” The smooth and charming voice of her estranged husband startled Elizabeth and she recognized the tone—one he’d used to soothe her on many occasions.
Elizabeth clutched her son to her chest and blinked. She had thought Ric and Alexis hated each other. Should she step in? Save Alexis from whatever Ric was undoubtedly planning?
“Whatever happened in the elevator—it just stays there,” Alexis continued, her voice fast and slightly thready. She was nervous and showing signs of some panic. “Don’t touch me!”
Elizabeth frowned and was about to stand when Ric’s next words stopped her cold. “Alexis, don’t act like my touch repulses you. If that elevator hadn’t started to move, we’d probably be on round two.”
Elizabeth closed her eyes and shook her head. No. He hadn’t—two months after she was gone. He wouldn’t. He had told her that he loved her. How did that go away in two months? She hadn’t heard correctly.
“You kissed me,” Alexis hissed. “And I was about to push you away when the elevator—” her words were cut off so abruptly that Elizabeth knew Ric had kissed her quiet.
He’d used the tactic on her numerous times to keep her from asking questions or pursing his strange behavior.
Elizabeth was silent while they talked in soft whispers before going back the way they’d came.
When she was sure they were gone, Elizabeth exhaled slowly and met her son’s quiet gaze. “What is it about me that is so forgettable?” she murmured. She set him back in the stroller and stared at him for a while. “Lucky replaced me with Sarah. Jason with Courtney. Ric with Alexis and I was never really with Zander. Why am I so easily forgotten? So replaceable and disposable?”
Cameron seemed to sense his mother’s solemn mood and reached out his chubby hand to grasp at her fingers. She let him wrap his tiny fist around her index finger and sighed. “Just don’t ever find a new mother, okay, Cam?”
A throat cleared behind her and she looked up to find a slightly pregnant Samantha McCall looking at her oddly. “Elizabeth, right?”
“Right. Sam?” Elizabeth asked. She withdrew her hand from Cameron’s fist. “Congratulations,” she gestured towards Sam’s abdomen.
“Yeah, it’s Sam and thanks.” Sam touched the small mound. “Just when I think I’m used to this, I come across a mother and their kid and I remember just…how bad I’m gonna screw this up.”
“Yeah, I know that feeling.” Elizabeth patted the spot next to her. Sam sat down. “I was pregnant for about six weeks last spring,” she told the other woman, “and I only found out about it a few days before I had a miscarriage.”
“Oh my God,” Sam murmured. “I’m so sorry.”
“I had about five seconds to decide that I absolutely loved the idea of having a baby and being a mother. I’m only twenty-two but part of me just…woke up when I realized I was carrying another life.” Elizabeth smiled at Cameron. “And when I was pregnant again, I was just—so grateful to have a second chance. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“I thought about getting an abortion,” Sam admitted. “I had a crappy childhood and I figured—what do I know about kids, you know? How am I gonna know how to teach my kid right from wrong with the life I’ve lead and the life her father leads?”
“Sonny’s—he’s a good man though,” Elizabeth said helpfully. “Up until this past year, I’d say he’s been a great father.”
The lie was on the tip of Sam’s tongue. The baby is Jason’s not Sonny but instead she asked, “Why do you say until this past year?”
“Carly and Sonny’s custody battles.” Elizabeth shrugged. “I have my issues with Carly but I felt for her when he kept from Michael and Morgan and then—they tried to use those children to destroy each other and I just—I can’t respect that.”
Sam shrugged and looked away. “Sonny’s not going to be raising my daughter,” she murmured. “It’s too—for some reason, it’s too complicated so he’s not claiming her.” She couldn’t meet Elizabeth’s eyes. “So Jason is.”
Elizabeth shook her head and laughed softly. “Super Jason to the rescue again,” she said with cynical amusement. “He’s just stepping in and letting Sonny take over his life. He’s so far from the man I knew.”
Sam raised her eyebrows. “He’s saving my ass,” she said a little annoyed. “I can’t do this on my own—”
“I’m not criticizing you and you couldn’t find someone who will love your daughter more,” Elizabeth assured her. “It’s just—Jason used to live his life for himself. Make his own decisions. He used to be honest. He wouldn’t lie—even if it was easier than telling the truth. He did what was right for him and now—he does what’s right for everyone else. He was so busy saving everyone else that when he turned around to have his own life, his wife left him.” Elizabeth shrugged. “I just—I hope he’s happy.”
“He’s not,” Sam nodded. “Because every time he turns around, there’s Carly and Courtney like some kind of warped Doublemint twins on crack. He’s making a mistake, he’s ruining life. They’re always flapping their jaws and trying to run his life. And if it’s not them too, it’s Sonny. He made the decision not to be this baby’s father but he can’t seem to remember that and all he’s doing is reminding Jason that at any time he could change his mind and I know it’s killing him.” Sam sighed heavily. “But sometimes, I look at him, and I can feel how much he wants this. He wants to be a father again. I just wish—I wish I could give him some kind of guarantee.”
“He loves Michael,” Elizabeth remarked. “It tore him up inside for so long after he lost him and I don’t care what he says, he’s never gotten over that.”
“I know that, too,” Sam told her. “Because he gets this look sometimes with Michael and I just—I don’t love him,” she told Elizabeth quickly. “But when he’s like that, I almost wish I could. But he’s just—he’s not for me. And he’s definitely not for that Barbie Doll he married. She’s such a hypocrite. She’s all fine about moving on with that Australian candy ass but she’s giving him the third degree about me every time he turns around and all I want to do is just crack her across the face but I’m terrified she’d body slam me or something.”
Elizabeth started to laugh and couldn’t stop even tears were rolling down her face. Pleased by his mother’s joy, Cameron gurgled and kicked his legs. “That’s incredible—so you despise her as much I as do, huh?”
Sam broke into a wide smile. “Oh, you’re kidding right? How can anyone stand her? She’s almost as martyrish as Emily Quartermaine.”
Elizabeth sobered and frowned. “Emily’s a friend of mine.”
“Oh.” Sam hesitated. “Well—you were out of town for a while so you really haven’t…” She pursed her lips. “Emily’s a really—she’s…I don’t like her,” Sam said bluntly. “She thinks she knows what’s best for everyone—including me and her brother. She’s rude and thinks only about herself. I’m sorry—but she’s also breaking poor Lucky Spencer’s heart. He’s been falling in love with her and she’s just using him to get over Nikolas.”
“Well—I haven’t been here, like you said. But I’ve known Emily since we were teenagers. We’ve been best friends forever—”
“So you probably don’t see what I see. That’s fine. You’re blind to a lot of things,” Sam shrugged.
Elizabeth quirked an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. You were married to Ric Lansing, weren’t you?”
Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “That’s a good point. I do have a habit of seeing what I want in people.” She stared out over the docks. “Have you ever felt disposable?”
“Constantly,” Sam remarked, pleased that her remarks hadn’t alienated Elizabeth.
“Every major relationship I’ve been in….I’ve been replaced mere months after it’s ended,” Elizabeth told her. “Sometimes it’s less than a month and then others it’s six months but it—it never changes. I’m good enough to be around until problems start and things get tough but then they run and find someone who makes their life easier or gives them something I can’t.”
“Sonny used me to get back at Carly and I think I knew that all along so it doesn’t surprise me he picked her over me. It hurts but it doesn’t surprise me,” Sam told her.
“Lucky was my first boyfriend and we were together—wow, forever. From the time we were fifteen to about two years ago. On and off, really. But we had some problems—he was brainwashed and didn’t love me anymore. I can forgive him for what he did because he’d been tricked into not loving me anymore. But he slept with my sister just a few months after we were over.”
Elizabeth sighed. “And then Jason and I had been dancing around each other for three years—a lot of my problems with Lucky stemmed from my feelings for Jason and I just didn’t have the courage to face them. When we finally got together, he lied to me—let me believe Sonny was dead and let be me terrified that he himself was out every night finding Sonny’s killer. So I left him and two months later, he screwed the Barbie Doll.”
Sam gaped. “You and Jason? Sonny was dead? He did what?” She blinked. “I never would have pictured it.”
“And then I met and married Ric,” Elizabeth continued. “But not until after he pretended to sleep with Carly, get engaged to Courtney and try to kill Sonny and Jason. He also tried to kill me but I stayed with him anyway because I thought he could change.”
Sam raised her eyes. “I feel like I should be eating popcorn. And he replaced you, too?”
“I left him in April and he’s already moved on with Alexis Davis.” Elizabeth snorted. “I thought she had better taste. And it hurts. Because he told me that he loved me. That I was the only person for him. That I was the love of his life. And it took him ten weeks to find someone else.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I’m just glad—you know, I’m just glad it’s not another dumb blonde. I really don’t think I could have taken it if I’d come home and he was with a blonde.”
“Your sister was a blonde huh?” Sam said with some sympathy. “Yeah—that would have sucked if Ric had made it three blondes in a row.”
“I was just thinking about going to Alexis to file for divorce and now—” Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “I feel like I keep getting knocked down. I am so tired of picking myself off the ground, Sam. You just—you have to start asking—when it’s your turn?”
“When do you get to be happy?” Sam nodded in understanding. “When is it finally time for you to get what you want? You’re preaching to the choir, babe. But I think if I could get Sonny out of my life, I could get somewhere.”
“Yeah, well…good luck with that.” Elizabeth stood and smiled at her. “I like talking to you, Sam. For a second—it almost felt like I had Jason back. Though—your comments are more colorful than his.”
Sam grinned. “Yeah, he just doesn’t have the same way with the English language that I do. I liked talking to you. You’re the only person who knows about Sonny and—everything. I don’t know why but I just didn’t want to lie to you.”
Elizabeth gripped the sides of the stroller. “You’d be the first person in my life to have that feeling,” she said with a sad smile. “I’d better get Cam home and to bed. See ya around, Sam.”
She wheeled the stroller away and few moments later, Sam examined her nails. “You can come out any time, you know.”
Jason stepped out from behind the shrubbery. “How’d you know I was there?” he demanded.
“Please. I could hear those motorcycle boots anywhere,” she snorted. She stood and punched him in the arm. “You’re a jackass you know that? Sleeping with the Barbie On Steroid just weeks after that girl walked out on you. What’s with you, Jason? You have something wrong in your head?” She rapped his temple.
“Hey—”
“And I’m not referring to your accident,” Sam remarked scathingly. “That poor girl thinks she’s been replaced in everyone’s lives and all I could sit there and do was restrain the urge to yank you from the bushes and give her free shots.”
“She was better off without me,” he muttered, sliding his hands in his pockets and staring at the ground.
“Yeah, okay. Because giving her up for the Doublemint Twins and that Marlon Brando phoney and her ending up with the half-brother from hell…she was so much better off than with you.” Sam snorted and turned around to head towards the steps. “What is it about men who think they know better? If we think we can do better, trust me—we’ll go and find someone better,” she muttered, stalking up the stairs. “My daughter is gonna know how to kick anyone’s ass who tries to tell her what to do.”
She whirled on the landing and poked Jason—who’d followed her up the stairs—in the chest. “And let me tell you something, mister, you just try to do it to me because I will wipe the floor with you and that crazy brood you call a family and if you had any sense in that head of yours—” again she rapped his temple and he scowled, “—you wouldn’t have let Elizabeth Webber get five feet out your door. Maybe you’d have an actual biological child rather than more of Sonny’s hand-me-downs.”
Jason narrowed his eyes. “Wait a second—”
“Because I’ll tell you—she seems more sensible than to run off to South America and jump into freezing water when she’s pregnant,” Sam told her. “And she seems like the sort who doesn’t judge you. You know that I talked trash about her best friend and she just sat there and let me have my opinion? I can’t remember the last time I had my own opinion.”
“You seem to be having a hell of one right now,” Jason said dryly.
“And stop acting like Sonny’s going to take this kid out from under you. To do that he’d have to claim her and he’s not going to do that. I told you—this is your daughter and you’d better damn well remember that.” Sam rolled her eyes and turned around to stomp up the rest of the stairs. “Men,” she snorted. “Just large children wrapped in hot packages.”
“Is this hormones?” Jason asked. “Because—”
“Hormones?” Sam narrowed her eyes. “Listen here—” she broke off and smiled sweetly and then he knew he was in trouble. “I’ve decided I should be friends with more mothers,” she said firmly. “Carly’s a bony brat who wouldn’t know how to be a good mother if she were handed a picture book and Elizabeth seems to actually spend time with her kid so maybe I should have her over to the penthouse.” She nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a really good way to piss off the bony bitch and her gorilla friend.”
“Bony—gorilla…” Jason trailed off and shook his head. “Sam—”
She poked him in the chest. “You’d better learn to just deal with it because from now on, it’s you and me. No more of Sonny’s drop in visits. He made his bed and now he’s gotta lie in it, you got me?”
“I’m beginning to.”
“And we’re going to find Elizabeth a divorce lawyer who won’t screw her ex-husband,” Sam decided as they came out onto the street.
“Wait, Alexis and Ric?” Jason said, trying to keep up.
“And maybe I’ll even make her godmother of my kid,” Sam continued, on a roll now and loving it. She was in control again and she’d be damned if anyone would take it from her.
“And Elizabeth can teach me how to not to screw up my kid and maybe I can convince her she’s not disposable and that she’s just got really rotten taste in men.”
Insulted, Jason scowled. “Wait—”
“I don’t mean you,” Sam said impatiently, “You’re an idiot but if you had any balls, it would have been okay. I mean that stupid idiot Ric. I mean, he has a wife and a kid. She loves him—well I think she does and even if she’s too good for him, he should have at least waited more than ten weeks before screwing her lawyer.”
“I’m still insulted.”
“It’s okay.” She patted his arm. “I’m going to work on you and in like a month—you’ll learn how to say no again. Well–I know you know how to say it, now we just have to work on meaning it.”
“Wait—”
“Back off, Morgan, I’m told pregnant women are not to be messed with.” Sam started walking briskly down the block towards Harborview Towers.
“Sam?”
She turned. “Yeah?”
“I think you’re good for her,” Jason said after a moment. “She seemed—better after she’d talked to you. And that’s—that’s good.”
Sam nodded. “Okay.”
“She’s tried to prove herself to everyone in her life for years and I just think—I don’t think you would make her feel like that.” He shook her head. “I just think it’s time someone made her feel like it was okay to be herself again.”
Sam stared at him for a moment. “Well, son of a bitch,” she murmured. “I am so glad to know it’s not the gorilla you’re pining for.”
Back in 2003, there was a Write By Request challenge at The Canvas. You could sign up to get a story prompt and also submit your own. I don’t remember who sent me the prompt, but mine was to “clink-boom the Morgan-Matthews wedding” — i.e. the famous clink-boom from May 31, 1996 when Lily was blown up in the car bomb at the same time Jax and Brenda were getting married.
Timeline
Set in June 2003. Jason and Courtney are getting married, Elizabeth and Ric have already gotten married and she’s miscarried the baby. They’ve moved into the house.
Banner
There was stillness in the air around her. As she stood outside the church and rubbed her bare arms absently, she found herself staring up at the stars in the dark night sky.
The more she thought about it, the more she wondered if he was happy. He’d done the right thing, he’d proposed, dressed accordingly and he seemed okay with the whole ordeal.
But okay was a far cry from happy, and for the first time, she had a second thought about one of her plans and she wondered if she’d forced this on him.
He’d never really understand her reasons for pushing this marriage. He’d just shake his head and think she was silly. He’d never say the word silly, but he’d think it.
The truth was that Carly Corinthos had found her first female friend since Carly Roberts in high school. And she wanted to make sure that Courtney would always be around. She wanted to be sure that she wouldn’t lose another friend.
She sighed and glanced towards the doors of the church. As usual, she’d been so absorbed in her own emotions—her own plans, she hadn’t stopped to think about the person this plan effected. Yes, Courtney wanted it but did Jason?
It was too late to second guess that decision now, she decided. She stared up at the sky once more.
“Carly?” Jason asked, touching her shoulder. “Are you going to come inside?”
“Yeah, I’m coming. Just wanted a minute to myself.” She turned and they only took one step towards the church before it exploded.
—-
Elizabeth Webber Lansing moaned and moved her head a little to the side. It felt so heavy. She finally lifted it from the couch and slid into a seated position, clutching her afghan to her chest.
The sunlight was streaming through the windows, making her head hurt. She pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. Drinking wine had never made her feel like this before.
She wrapped the blanket around her more securely, tucking one end inside to keep it wrapped as she stood and stumbled into the bathroom.
After a long hot shower and a strong cup of coffee, she felt a little bit more human. She hated coffee, but she found it was the best thing to wake her up in the morning.
She started to straighten up the living room, but it was only when she noticed Ric’s practically untouched champagne glass that it dawned on her husband was absent.
“That’s strange,” she murmured. Ric was taking the summer off before he opened a law practice in Port Charles. He was rarely gone when she woke up and when it did happen, he always left some sort of note.
“I wonder where he went…”
—-
For a second, Carly panicked. She opened her eyes and saw nothing. Pure white light, blinding almost. She blinked rapidly and tried to take a deep breath, only to feel a choking sensation from the tube in her throat.
“Carly, Carly, calm down!” a familiar voice called. “Honey, deep breaths, deep breaths.”
Sonny, she tried to say. She opened her mouth to form the word over and over again and started to actually choke on the word. Where was Sonny? Why wasn’t he here? Why couldn’t she see anything?
“Carly, calm down!”
After another moment, Carly stopped struggling and slipped back into sleep.
—-
Bobbie Spencer exited her daughter’s hospital room and started to cry. The tears were a slow trickle at first but soon the sobs racked her body and she slipped to the floor, wrapping her arms around her side.
“Aunt Bobbie?” Lucky’s voice broke through her misery. He crouched and drew his shaking aunt into a tight embrace. “Are you okay? Is Carly okay?”
“She’s out again,” Bobbie choked out. “But all I can think about is the fact that I’ll have to tell her that her family is gone!”
“It’s okay,” Lucky murmured, “it’s okay.”
—-
Emily Quartermaine stared blankly ahead, not feeling the warm arm Nikolas had around her shoulder. She didn’t realize that he’d guided her to a chair or that he’d sat next to her. She didn’t see her shaken grandfather sitting across from her and she didn’t even realize just how close she and her family had come to death.
“That poor girl,” Edward murmured. He shook his head. “That poor, poor girl.”
Monica and Alan emerged from the trauma room where Jason Morgan was being prepped for surgery. Edward lunged to his feet, followed by Nikolas. Emily didn’t move—she couldn’t move.
“We stopped the worst of the bleeding,” Monica said in relief. “He’s going up for surgery, but he’s stable.”
Edward let out the breath he hadn’t even known he was holding. Jason had been in surgery most of the night and his heart had stopped twice, but now he was stable and they were just going to try and correct some of the damage done to his arm.
Nikolas turned to crouch in front of his friend and took her cold hand in his. “He’s okay, Em,” he murmured softly. “He’s okay.”
“Somebody has to call AJ,” Emily said. Her voice was empty, her face was blank. “He needs to know about Michael.”
“I’ll call him,” Nikolas promised. “Do you need anything? Are you feeling all right?”
She shook her head. “This was supposed to be the happiest day of his life,” she whispered. “And a broken gas pipe has killed everyone he loves.”
“Not everyone,” Nikolas reminded her, firmly. “He’s still got Carly, he’s got you. He’s got Monica and Alan, Lila. Not everyone was in that church.”
“He loved Michael so much,” Emily whispered brokenly. “And Sonny was his brother, he loved them both so much. Oh, God and Courtney…he was going to marry her…”
“Em,” Monica said gently. “Maybe you should let Nikolas take you home.”
Emily’s eyes snapped up and there was signs of life for the first time. “What? No. I can’t.”
Nikolas hesitated and looked up at Monica. “Elizabeth’s husband was injured as well. Do you know anything his condition?”
“He was pronounced dead at the scene, I believe,” Alan remarked sadly. “The poor young girl. She just lost her child.”
“Ric was there?” Emily asked, surprised. “What was Ric doing there?”
“I don’t know,” Nikolas answered. “I’m just surprised no one’s heard from Elizabeth. Did anyone even call her?”
“Someone should,” Emily decided quietly.
“I’ll do it,” Nikolas promised. “Do you have her new number?”
Emily’s eyes filled with tears for the first time. “No…oh, God, I don’t.” She buried her head in her hands and started to sob.
—-
Elizabeth switched the television on as she folded up the afghan. She had a knot in her back from sleeping on the sofa—they spent too many nights on that piece of furniture for her liking.
“The number of dead is still far from confirmed,” a reporter was saying, “but nearly everyone in the wedding party was killed with the exception of Jason Morgan and Carly Corinthos who were outside the church when the explosion occurred.”
Elizabeth stared at the screen in shock as the cameras were panning the destruction of the church.
“Authorities don’t believe there was any connection between Sonny Corinthos’ alleged ties to organized crime. All preliminary investigation points a faulty gas mane in the church basement.”
The church had exploded. Wedding party dead. Courtney. Sonny. Suddenly frantic, Elizabeth was dialing the hospital line. Nikolas and Emily were supposed to attend the wedding. Oh, God, what if something had happened to them?
“The Quartermaine family was lucky to just be arriving as the explosion occurred. Other than some minor burns and some bruising, the family is said to be in good condition. European prince Nikolas Cassadine was a guest of Emily Quartermaine and he is said to be fine as well.”
Elizabeth started crying in relief as she realized that meant Nikolas and Emily were okay. She hung up the phone, slipped into a pair of sandals and flew out the door, leaving the television on.
“Authorities have confirmed that Richard Lansing, Sonny Corinthos’ half brother, was pronounced dead at the scene. That brings the total number of confirmed dead to six.”
—-
Elizabeth didn’t even wait for the elevator doors to open all the way before she slipped through them and rushed down the hall to the surgical waiting room. She’d been told in the lobby that the Quartermaines were waiting for news on their grandson.
“Thank god you’re all right!” she cried, pushing herself into Emily’s arms. “I heard it on the news!”
Emily started to cry again. “Oh, God, you don’t know.”
“I don’t know what?” Elizabeth demanded frantically.
“Elizabeth,” Ned Ashton said, putting his hands on her shoulders and tried to guide her to a chair. “You might want to sit down.”
“Why?” Elizabeth asked fearfully. “What’s wrong?”
“Ric was found at the scene,” Emily whispered painfully.
“R-Ric?” Elizabeth sputtered. “He wasn’t invited. Sonny hates him. What was he…” Suddenly it clicked. Found. “Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. He’s dead, isn’t he? Oh my God.”
She clutched her trembling hand to her lips, muffling the moans. “Oh, God.”
“Nikolas, get her some water or something,” Ned directed. “Here, Elizabeth, sit down. Take deep breaths.”
—–
When Carly woke for the second time, the blinding white was still there, but the breathing tube had been removed. “Mama? Sonny?” she moaned.
Carly slipped back into sleep and Bobbie rested her head on the edge of the bed. Jesus Christ. How was she supposed to tell her that Sonny and Michael were dead?
—-
Elizabeth was still seated in the same chair Ned had pushed her into an hour earlier. Nikolas had pressed a cup of coffee into her hands and she’d drank it, even though she hated the taste.
Logically, she knew there were things to be done. Paperwork, Ric’s body…but she couldn’t will herself to move for the moment.
Dimly, she head Monica report to the rest of the family that Jason was out of surgery. He’d been thrown back by the force of the blast, his body had covered Carly’s, shielding her from the worst of the debris.
She heard the Quartermaines talk to each other in relieved tones when it became clear their prodigal relative would be just fine.
She knew that Emily was still sitting next to her and at some point and time, Lucky had found her. But she wasn’t aware of much right then.
“Someone needs to take her home,” Monica told Emily, pulling her aside.. “But she shouldn’t be alone.”
Dillon, who could never resist a chance to eavesdrop, spoke up. “Why doesn’t Em just bring her back to the house?”
“That’s a great idea,” Emily decided. “Thanks, Dillon.” She kissed his cheek and went back to her friend.
Monica patted Dillon affably on the shoulder. “You’ve got a good heart,” she told him. “Don’t let this family suck it out of you.”
“Honey, you’re going to come with me tonight, okay?” Emily said softly.
“Okay,” Elizabeth said dully.
“I’m just going to go see Jason before we go. Do you want to come with me?” Emily asked.
Elizabeth blinked. “Jason? What?” She cleared her throat and rubbed her temple. “I’m sorry, Emily. I forgot that…Jesus, is he okay? I didn’t even think about it.”
“It’s okay. Come with me. I’ll fill you in on the way to the room.”
—-
Elizabeth sighed. “Poor Carly. To wake up and find out that your husband, your son, your sister-in-law, your father-in-law…I can’t imagine what she’s going through.”
“I think you can a little,” Emily said softly. She stopped in front of Jason’s intensive care room. “Besides, I don’t even think she knows yet. Bobbie told us she’s been in and out most of the night and day. But she’s alive and so is Jason. And that’s something to be thankful for.”
“Yes, it is,” Elizabeth said. She frowned. “I can’t even imagine why Ric would have been there last night. He and Sonny didn’t get along, we weren’t invited or anything…”
“I didn’t see him there,” Emily replied. “Maybe he was just driving by and stopped or something.”
“No…what I mean is…” Elizabeth frowned and searched for something. “We were together last night. We drank some wine and when I woke up this morning, well, it was obvious Ric and I had made love. So at what point last night did he get up and leave? And why?”
“I guess you….” Emily stopped. “Wait, you don’t remember if you and he made love?”
“Well, we were drinking wine,” Elizabeth explained. “And I guess…”
“Elizabeth, how can you not remember? You’ve never been a heavy drinker and you’re not the type to pass out.”
“I know, but…”
“But nothing,” Emily told her. “Something’s not right, Elizabeth.”
“What does it matter or anything?” Elizabeth sighed. “He’s dead. Whether he went for a midnight drive or he had something more…horrible plan to get revenge on Sonny again…it doesn’t matter. He’s dead. I’ve been married less than a month and my husband is dead. I don’t care how horrible he was to other people and what he might have done on the last night of his life!” Her voice had risen and now there was a desperate, almost hysterical tone to it. “In the span of three weeks, I lost a child and a husband. You’re right, Emily. Something’s not right.”
Elizabeth broke off and shook her head. “I…I’m sorry…I-I didn’t mean—”
“It’s okay,” Emily said, enveloping her friend in a quick hug. “It’s okay. You’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s just go check on Jason and we’ll go back to my house.”
She pushed the door open and blanched at the sight of her strong brother covered in burns, bruises and cuts. He had a breathing tube and other various tubes in different spots of his body.
“I’m scared,” Emily whispered. “I’m scared that when he wakes up and finds out what’s happened, he won’t want to live.”
Elizabeth squeezed her friend’s shoulder soothingly. “Jason’s strong, Em. He still has Carly. And you. And Lila. That’s enough for him. All we have to do is remind him that Carly needs him. He likes to be needed.”
“Maybe that’s why the two of you never worked out,” Emily mused almost absent-mindedly. “Jason wants to be needed and you don’t really need anyone. You’ve always been strong and independent—”
“I did need him,” Elizabeth murmured. She moved into the room a little further and stepped next to the hospital bed. She smoothed his hair from his forehead. “He just never needed me.” She started to cry. “I’m never enough, Em. Not for Lucky to stay away from Sarah, not for Jason to need me, or for Ric to give up his stupid plans!”
She sank into a nearby chair and buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking from the force of her sobs. “Why? Why am I doomed to be alone?”
“Oh, honey.” Emily crouched in front of her. “You’re not. Men just suck. And when you do find the right guy, you go and break their hearts. Look at me and Zander. He loves me and I pushed him away, making him think I love Nikolas. What kind of person does that make me?”
“A confused one,” Elizabeth said, laughing through her tears. “Someone who thinks she should still want the person she loved at seventeen when the girl who loved him grew up.”
Emily frowned. “Elizabeth—”
“You can try and fit yourself into a mold, be what you think someone needs. You can try and be the person you once were when you loved them, but in the end you make yourself miserable. You push away someone you really love and a result you lose them forever because that moment was your chance, and even when you think you have another one, you really don’t because they don’t love you anymore.”
“So, Emily, if you love Zander, just be with him. If you don’t love him the same way, with the same passion and intensity, if it’s just faded into a comfortable love and you’re almost sure there’s someone who makes you feel like you’re on top of the world when they look at you…you have to grab it, Em. Grab it before it walks away and leaves you dangling in the wind, waiting for a chance that’ll never come again.” Elizabeth broke off her long diatribe and sucked in a shuddering breath. “I don’t know what made me say all of that—”
“I do,” Emily said softly. “Your world has been spinning out of control for so long that I think that tonight was the last straw. And you’re right. I need to make a decision. But so do you.” She stood and pulled Elizabeth into a standing position. “If I’ve learned anything from my crazy life is that if it’s meant to be, it usually ends up that way. No matter how hard you try to fight it. Let’s say goodbye to my brother and go home to talk some more, okay?”
She turned to find Jason’s eyes open and unblinking. “Emily. What’s…” he stopped and tried to clear his dry throat. Emily reached for a pitcher of water and poured it into a glass Elizabeth found in a drawer. She brought it to Jason’s lips and he sipped. “What’s going on?”
“There was an accident,” Emily told him softly. “You were hurt.”
He glanced around and his eyes focused on Elizabeth. “Elizabeth…”
“Jason, are you awake or kind of in between?” Emily asked.
He frowned. “Kind of both I think…”
“Get some sleep,” Emily advised. “I’ll be back later today.”
His eyes were trained on Elizabeth’s tearstained face. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“I’m fine,” Elizabeth murmured.
He focused on his sister then. “Where’s Carly? Sonny? Where’s Courtney?”
“Jason, please…”
“Emily, don’t try to appease me. Where are they? What’s going on?”
“A gas line at the church exploded,” Emily admitted softly. “You and Carly were outside, so you’re okay. The family and I were just arriving, so the most we had were some cuts. But…”
He closed his eyes. “Everyone else is dead,” he finished emotionless.
“Yes,” Emily whispered painfully. “I’m sorry, Jason. I’m so sorry.” After a moment, she realized her brother had slid back into a drug-induced sleep and she turned to her friend. “Oh, God, Elizabeth…”
“He’ll be okay,” Elizabeth said, drawing her friend into an embrace. “He’ll be okay.”
—-
It was a week before any of the funerals took place. And only Michael Corinthos had more than five people at his funeral. Some of his teachers attended, some friends from school. AJ Quartermaine was in the back, keeping out of sight of his son’s mother.
Carly, who’d been told the news a few days ago, was in a wheel chair, staring at the cold ground where her little boy was going to be spending his days. She was being taken back to the hospital after the service, but all she wanted to do was throw herself in with her son.
She’d already been to Sonny’s, Courtney’s and Mike’s services earlier. She would have gone to the guards’ services, but the doctor had forbidden it. She was still badly injured. A broken leg, a concussion and three broken ribs. She’d suffered a miscarriage while she was out cold, so she didn’t even have Sonny’s baby to live for.
Jason had gotten out of the hospital the day before, the worst of his injuries was a cut on his forehead. He pushed his friend’s wheelchair on the path back to the limo, preparing to take her back to the hospital.
“Wait,” Carly said, suddenly. “That’s Ric’s service over there, isn’t it?” she asked, gesturing across the cemetery where another funeral was set up. A casket was waiting to be lowered into the ground and the widow sat in a chair, surrounded by empty chairs. Emily had gotten sick, so Nikolas had taken her home and Elizabeth had insisted that Lucky and Summer go with them.
“Yeah, it is,” Jason said quietly.
“Let’s go,” Carly said. “I don’t think she should be alone today.”
“Did anyone find out why Ric was there in the first place?” Jason, speaking in the same emotionless tone he’d adopted in the hospital. It was easier that way. If he buried the emotions so deep inside himself, he wouldn’t have to feel them. His fiancée, the woman he’d expected to spend the rest of his life with, she was gone. The man he’d thought of like a brother, who’d taught him everything he knew about love, loyalty and honor, he was gone.
The little boy he’d considered a son was gone. It was almost too much and his only way of dealing was to shut it out.
“No,” Carly answered. “No one knows.”
Elizabeth didn’t acknowledge them as Jason wheeled Carly’s chair next to an empty one and he sat next to her.
“I know that everyone hated him,” she said a few moments later. “But he was my husband and I thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.” She glanced at Carly, her eyes filled with tears. “All he wanted was a family. You know that? The morning after we were married, when we still had our baby to look forward to, he bought me a stuffed teddy bear. For the baby.” She looked to the casket again. “Baby’s first toy,” she whispered brokenly.
“Losing the baby devastated him more than me, I think. Maybe if I hadn’t miscarried, maybe he really would have given up his hatred for Sonny. If he’d had a future to look forward to, a child.” She stood and stepped toward the casket. “But I wasn’t enough for him. Not without our child. I wasn’t enough. My love just…didn’t mean enough to him.” She reached inside her jacket and withdrew a soft yellow teddy bear. “Thank you for stopping by,” she said a moment later, her voice clear and without emotion. “It’s been such a horrible day for you both and it means a lot that you’d just…pretend to care for a moment.”
She placed the bear on the casket, like one would place a rose. “I guess this is my chance to bury my dreams of being someone’s wife, someone’s mother.”
Elizabeth stepped back and walked towards Carly, surprising the blonde when she leaned down to hug her. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry for yours,” Carly whispered back as Elizabeth straightened. “I am, Elizabeth. Losing a child and your husband at the same time, there’s no pain greater.”
“I know.” Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Jason’s neck and hugged him tightly. “One day at a time,” she advised him. “The pain will fade, I promise. It did for me when I thought Lucky was dead.”
“I remember,” Jason said, meeting her eyes as she pulled away.
Despite the warmth of the day, Elizabeth pulled her coat more tightly around her. “I’m not sure what he was doing there that night, but I don’t think it was anything good. I found a room in the house today,” she admitted. “A panic room of some sorts. He had maternity clothes, prenatal vitamins…a crib.” She closed her eyes. “It doesn’t take much to realize what he had in mind.” She opened her eyes and looked at Carly. “How terrible am I to be glad he never had the chance to do go through with it? I’m glad he’s dead, just so he never had the chance to hurt anyone else.”
Elizabeth shrugged and looked away. “Nothing I’m not used to.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “I’m moving. Out of town. I’m going home to Colorado for a while. I don’t know when or if I’m coming back.”
“When you’re in town,” Carly said, “You…should…come by.”
“Yeah.” Elizabeth managed a weak smile. She walked away then, leaving the two behind.
The yellow teddy bear slipped and fell from the casket. Jason stepped forward as if to pick it up and place it back on top, but Carly stopped him. “Give it to me,” she told him.
He handed it to her and she stared at it. “We both lost our dreams,” she murmured. “To have the perfect family.” She glanced up at him. “Kind of ironic that the muffin and I finally have something in common, huh?”
Ric really doesn’t get enough crap for how close he came to killing Elizabeth repeatedly in the summer of 2003. First, he allowed her to drink poisoned lemonade to keep his Carly secret, then he drugged her with birth control pills and sedatives which led to a pulmonary embolism. As if that wasn’t enough, he nearly smothered her with a pillow to avoid being caught for Carly’s kidnapping.
And yet, they got back together and got married all over again! Oy.
GH stays trash.
Timeline
This is set in July 2003, directly after Elizabeth finds Carly in the panic room. She passes out from the embolism as soon it happens and Ric locks Carly back up. Elizabeth is unconscious in the hospital and Ric considers smothering her to keep himself out of trouble.
Banner
I just want to feel safe in my own skin
I just want to be happy again
The pillow is in his hands. His fingers are clenching the sides of the material so tightly that they are numb.
She sleeps peacefully or as peacefully as she can with the knowledge he knows she holds. Her face is pale, her hair spread over her own pillow, falling around her face.
She is the most beautiful person he’s ever known—inside and out. And he can say that for a brief moment in time, she loved and believed in him.
I just want to feel deep in my own world
He walks quickly down the hall—not too quickly though. He doesn’t want to bring any attention to himself. He has one clear goal for this night. He wants answers and he finally believes she’s in a position to give them.
Her room is just at the end of the corridor and if he can get there without any hospital personnel stopping him…there might yet hope for them all.
But I’m so lonely
I don’t even want to be with myself anymore
He steps towards her and starts to lower the pillow. He closes his eyes as he does it and when he feels the resistance of her skin stopping it’s descent, he presses harder.
Her arms start to flail on the bed and they claw at his forearms. He can hear her gasping for air and he wants to stop but he knows there’s no turning back.
On a different day
If I was safe in my own skin
Then I wouldn’t feel lost and so frightened
He’s at the door and about to push it open when a nurse steps into the hallway. He moves into the corner, into the shadows until she’s gone.
But this is today
And I’m lost in my own skin
He can feel her struggle lessening. Her arms aren’t moving as rapidly, her chest isn’t heaving. He can almost feel the life slipping from her.
And I’m so lonely
I don’t even want to be with myself anymore
He turns the knob slowly and pushes the door open.
And I just say oh, oh
I feel, oh, oh
He doesn’t even hear the door opening as he finally lifts the pillow from her face. He turns to see Jason Morgan in the doorway. Ric Lansing doesn’t speak, he doesn’t cast one last look at his now dead wife. He sets the pillow on the bed.
Jason is unable to move, unable to process what it is he thinks he’s seeing. But as Ric begins to slow move from the room, Jason pins him to the wall with one hand.
“What did you do?” he demands, harshly.
And I’m so lonely
I don’t even want to be with myself anymore.
“The only thing I could,” Ric chokes out. Jason twists his head back to look at the woman in the bed, panicking when he notices that her monitors have been unhooked. He turns back around and slams his fist in the other man’s jaw. Ric sees stars before he blacks out, the liquor he’ drank before coming here taking effect.
Jason lets the scum slide to the floor before hurrying over to her bed.
I just say oh, oh
And I’m so lonely
Elizabeth Lansing isn’t breathing but he can feel a faint pulse in her neck. He uses the call button and then starts CPR.
A nurse comes in, sees the man on the floor, the man performing CPR and darts back out. The call for a crash cart is heard and before Jason knows it, he’s pushed out of the way.
I feel oh, oh
I don’t even want to be with myself anymore
Elizabeth is technically dead for two minutes. But the doctors are quick working and the crash cart is there in seconds. Her small body convulses into the air as they use the paddles to bring her back.
A nurse has hooked up her monitors and the horrible screech of the flat line echoes in the room for a few moments before her heart starts to beat again.
I just want to feel safe in my own skin
She doesn’t quite remember everything when she wakes up, but she does know that Carly is in a hidden room in her home and she tells Jason how to open it.
When she learns that her husband nearly killed her, she isn’t able to speak for a moment or two. But when she does, she just thanks Jason for saving her life.
The famous panic room reveal aired on July 11, 2003. It was a Friday, and the episode ended up on Liz pressing the button and turning to look at Carly, horrified. At the time, I can’t remember if we knew that pulmonary embolism was coming or if i was just spoiler free. That doesn’t sound like me, but you never know. Anyway, a cliffhanger Friday meant LissieLove writing a story on Friday night.
Timeline
This takes place in July 2003. Ric has kidnapped Carly and has held her hostage in the panic room while Elizabeth doesn’t know anything.
Banner
Something went wrong
You’re not laughing
It happened almost as though in a dream. One moment, she’d been unpacking a box of books. The next, Carly had vaulted out of nowhere and was screaming her name.
“Elizabeth!”
Elizabeth whirled around so fast that she slipped and fell, staring up at Carly with a shocked expression. No one had seen Carly in almost a month. She’d vanished from the face of the Earth.
“C-Carly—”
“Elizabeth, thank God,” Carly cried, almost weeping. She reached down and practically hauled the other woman to her feet. “We need to get out of here.”
“Wait, wait.” Elizabeth pushed away from her and put her hands to her head, closing her eyes. “You—where have you been? What’s going on?”
“I’ve been here,” Carly said, frantically, already pulling her towards the door. “In that stupid panic room. Come on, Elizabeth!”
“In what panic room?” Elizabeth demanded. Her eyes drifted past Carly to the open room behind her. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened a little. “Oh my God—”
“Elizabeth, please, we have to go!” Carly cried.
Elizabeth nodded. “You’re right. Let’s go—”
She heard the door open before she could finish. She turned and looked at her husband. “Ric.” Carly’s hand tightened on hers. “What’s going on?” she demanded.
Ric’s eyes darted between his wife and his captive. “Elizabeth, I know you don’t understand right now—”
“You kidnapped Carly!” Elizabeth cried. “She’s been missing for a month—”
Ric stepped forward and Elizabeth impulsively retreated a step, backing into Carly. “I’m doing this for you,” he tried to explain. “Just like we discussed. Another baby.”
Elizabeth blinked. “You—you think we’re going to raise Carly and Sonny’s child?” she asked softly. “You’re crazy.” She shook her head. “We’re leaving.”
Ric reached behind him and pulled out a small pistol. “No. You’re not.”
It’s not so easy now to get you to smile
You gotta be strong
Elizabeth paced the small space of the panic room. “I can’t believe I was so stupid.”
Carly’s brown eyes followed the tiny brunette from side to side. “You weren’t stupid. He was good. Very good.” She gestured towards the television screen. “I saw how he acted with you.”
Elizabeth stared at the different screens, each showing a different spot in the house. Their bedroom. Their kitchen. Their living room. “How did he hide this from me?”
“He was careful,” Carly said dully. She sank onto the cot and stared at the crib next to her. “He had this completely set up before he took me.”
Elizabeth frowned. “The night of the wedding—” she trailed off. “You must have been struggling. Why didn’t I know?”
“You were asleep on the couch,” Carly answered. “The police came. I saw it.”
“But Ric said—” Elizabeth stared at the couch on the screen. “I’m not a deep sleeper. I haven’t been in so long.” She stepped closer to the screen and something caught her eye.
A prescription bottle.
She reached for it, on a shelf above the television screens. “This is a sedative,” she said softly. “In my name. He got a prescription for a sedative in my name.”
“Elizabeth—”
“He drugged me,” Elizabeth murmured. “Oh my God. He drugged me so I couldn’t stop him.” The bottle clattered to the floor and she stepped back, her vision blurring. “Oh my God, my husband drugged me.”
“Elizabeth—” Carly stood, feeling out of place as she tried to comfort the other woman. “I’m sorry.”
“He said we made love, but I didn’t remember,” Elizabeth went on. Her hands were starting to tremble. “I thought it was just the wine, but I didn’t remember.”
To walk these streets
And keep from falling
“Elizabeth—”
“My clothes were off,” Elizabeth choked out. “He undressed me—or we made love and I just don’t remember—”
Carly closed her eyes, remembering the moment she’d woken up next to Ric, also nude. They hadn’t slept together then, but she hadn’t known. The thought had haunted her for moments, causing more than one nightmare. “Elizabeth, he violated you.”
“No—but—”
“He drugged you,” Carly said firmly. “You said yourself you don’t remember anything. Jesus, Elizabeth. Take the blinders off. If he just undressed you, it’s still violating you.” She closed her eyes. “And if he did more—”
Elizabeth sank onto the cot, pressing a hand to her mouth. Tears spilled onto her cheeks. “No—it’s just not possible. I can’t—” She cleared her throat. “We need to talk about what we’re going to do.”
“What can we do?” Carly asked, sighing. “Believe me, I’ve thought of it all. I’ve even gotten out of here a few times, but he always catches me.”
“Only one of us needs to get out of here,” Elizabeth said softly. “I’ll take care of Ric. You run and just keep on running, okay?”
“I can’t leave you in here,” Carly said. “I’ve got leverage. I’ve got the baby he wants. You go.”
“Carly, you being pregnant is precisely the reason you should go,” Elizabeth argued. “Look, this is my fault. I have been blind to who my husband really is. I defended him when I was wrong. God, I must have defended him a thousand times to Sonny and Jason just this month and look how wrong I was!”
“You had no idea!” Carly insisted. “I heard everything he told you. He snowed you, Elizabeth. He led you to believe he was something that he wasn’t. You’re not the first person to buy into his bull.”
“Everybody lies to me,” she whispered softly. Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Nice to know some things will never change.” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, Carly. You run. Get help. I can hold my own against him. He won’t hurt me.”
“Won’t hurt you?” Carly scoffed. “Come on. He raped you!”
“No!” Elizabeth cried. She shook her head vehemently. “No.”
“No!” Elizabeth screamed. “Not again! It didn’t happen again!”
But when you’re not, just let yourself cry
Carly paled and looked away, remembering how Elizabeth had come to the penthouse, desperate to believe that Ric was different. She’d been sleeping with him and Carly understood Elizabeth needed that reassurance.
She only wished she’d been able to give it. “Elizabeth—”
Elizabeth shook her head. “Don’t. Don’t okay? Don’t pretend that you like me or even feel sorry for me.”
“No woman deserves that,” Carly said firmly. “To be violated like that. Not by their husband, not by someone they thought was their friend—”
“And not by some stranger in the park,” Elizabeth said softly. She closed her eyes and sank to the floor. “I feel sick.” She was on her knees, one arm braced on the floor, the other around her middle. “Oh my God.”
Carly crossed to the bathroom and shoved the door open. “There’s a toilet in here.”
Elizabeth made it there, but only barely. She vomited until she nearly passed out, and then she slid away, sitting against the wall, her knees in the air, and her head in her hands. “I can’t believe this is happening to me,” she whispered. “I can’t believe I married someone who could do this to me.”
Carly stepped inside the small space and flushed the toilet. She grabbed a toothbrush and squeezed some of the paste on it before handing it to Elizabeth. “Here.”
You’ve been working hard
Just trying to pay the rent
When Elizabeth had brushed her teeth and splashed some water on her face, Carly left her in the bathroom, closing the door behind her, sensing she needed some time alone.
She crossed to the television screens watching as Ric paced the bedroom nervously. She glanced up as she heard the doorbell ring and looked back to the screen.
Elizabeth came out and frowned. “What was that?”
“The doorbell,” Carly murmured as she watched Ric hurry to answer it. “It’s Emily.” She glanced at the other woman. “Don’t bother screaming or pounding on the wall. It doesn’t work.”
“I figured as much.”
After a few moments, Ric closed the door and looked towards the panic room. He crossed to it and they watched him take the remote out of his pants. Elizabeth crossed to the other corner.
“As soon as I get him distracted, run,” Elizabeth told her. “Okay? Run as fast as you can and get out of here.”
“Elizabeth,” Carly began, but the door began to slide open and Ric entered.
Before he could say anything, Elizabeth charged him and jumped on his back, wrapping her small hands around his head. “Run!”
Carly darted out of the room and only spared one look back before she flew out the front door.
Ric easily tossed Elizabeth off, making her land with an oomph on the cot. “Why’d you do that?” he roared.
She tossed her dark hair out of her eyes and glared at him. “Why’d you rape me?” she hissed.
He blinked, the word rape draining his anger. “What?” Ric asked incredulously.
“You drugged me,” Elizabeth seethed. “And then you either just undressed me or we had sex. And I don’t remember a damn thing.”
“That doesn’t make it rape—”
“The hell it doesn’t!” Elizabeth screamed. “You drugged me! How was I supposed to say no?”
“Elizabeth, I just needed to make sure you wouldn’t stop me,” Ric tried to explain. “I did this for you—”
“You did this for yourself,” Elizabeth shot back. “You’ve been trying to replace our child with Sonny’s. Did it occur to you that I don’t want a child?”
Ric shook his head. “No, no. That’s not true. You want a family. We both do.”
“Not with you,” Elizabeth snapped. “You’re insane, and you’re a rapist.”
“I am not a rapist!”
Tryin’ to draw the line between who you are and who you invent
But if you throw a stone
Something’s gonna shatter somewhere
Carly stopped at the first payphone she found, her hands shaking as she called Sonny’s cell phone collect.
She screamed her name when they asked for it and Sonny hurriedly accepted the charges.
“Carly? Jesus, are you okay? Where are you?”
“Sonny, you have to go to Ric’s!” Carly cried. “Elizabeth is there and she’s alone with Ric, he took me and Elizabeth is there! You have to get there! Sonny, go!”
“Wait, wait, where are you?”
“Damn it, Sonny, he raped her and you have to get her out of there! I’ll meet you there. Just go!”
She slammed the phone down and took off down the block. She’d be damned if Elizabeth was going to sacrifice herself.
It took her five minutes to get back to the Lansing home and she was out of breath, ready to keel over when she got there. A month inside a small dark room had really drained her. Her eyes were sensitive to light and she felt so weak.
“Elizabeth!” she screamed as she crossed the threshold. She saw the open door of the panic room and Ric standing in the doorway. He was glaring at something she couldn’t see. “Elizabeth!”
Ric looked at her and smiled. “Well, look who returned.”
“Get out of here, Carly!” Elizabeth yelled. She came into Carly’s line of vision suddenly, launching herself at her husband as they crashed into the rack of black boxes against the wall.
She heard a car screech to halt behind her. Carly whirled around to see Sonny and Jason throwing open their car doors and rushing up the walk. “She’s in there!”
Jason pushed past her and crossed the living room in a few quick strides, drawing his gun from the small of his back. He pointed at Ric. “Let her go.”
“Let her go?” Ric demanded. “She’s got me in a headlock!”
Which was true. Elizabeth was on Ric’s back, her tiny arms wrapped around his neck, trying her best to squeeze the life out of him. Every time he tried to shove her off or reach his arms up to pull her hands from his throat, she switched angles.
Jason had fight against smirking, but didn’t lower his weapon. “Elizabeth, let him go and go outside.”
“No,” Elizabeth snarled. She dug her nails into his throat, eliciting a growl from her husband. “He’s going to pay for what he did to me!”
Jason frowned and shook his head. She never did know when to quit. “Elizabeth, just let me handle this.”
Finally Ric managed to throw Elizabeth off. He aimed for the cot, but she went flying past it and crashed into the crib. Without thinking, Jason discharged his gun twice, sending Ric flying backwards and into the bathroom. He didn’t move.
We’re all so fragile
We’re all so scared
Carly pushed past Sonny and darted into the house as Jason hastily tucked his gun back in its spot. “Stay back, Carly. I’ve got her. Tell Sonny to call a crew.”
Jason stepped around the cot and knelt beside the unconscious brunette. He checked her pulse and sighed in relief when he found it steady and strong. “She’s alive. She’ll probably have some bruising. We’ll get her back to the penthouse and get a doctor there to see her.”
Carly watched in worry as Jason easily lifted the tiny woman into his arms and was on his heels as he carried her outside.
Sonny blanched when he saw Elizabeth limp in Jason’s arms. The image was hauntingly familiar. Barely a year ago, Jason had carried her from an about to explode crypt.
“Get her and Carly out of here,” Sonny said quietly. “I’ll wait for the crew. Is Ric—?”
“I don’t know,” Jason answered. “I didn’t look. He’s out though.”
“Okay, go.”
You say you wanna learn how to live your life without tears
But we’ve been trying to do that for thousands of years
While a doctor was taping Elizabeth’s ribs, Jason cornered Carly downstairs in the penthouse living room. “Sonny told me what you said on the phone.”
Carly sighed and tugged at the bottom of her shirt. “Where’s Courtney?” she asked, changing the subject. “And Michael? I want to see them. I haven’t seen them in a month.”
“They’re on the island,” Jason said impatiently. “Carly, you’re avoiding my question. You told Sonny that Ric raped Elizabeth.”
“Elizabeth didn’t know I was there until today,” Carly said softly. “She was doing something and it triggered the panic room door. We were on our way out of there but Ric stopped us.”
“Carly—”
“I’m getting there,” Carly snapped. “He locked us both in the panic room and Elizabeth was freaking out by then. Jason, she had no idea what Ric is really like. She thought he’d changed. There were these television screens in the room and I saw the way he played her. He made her believe he’d let this vendetta go. He played the part of the perfect husband.”
“Finding out differently must have thrown her,” Jason interjected.
“Yeah, well, turns out the night Ric locked me in there, Elizabeth had a blackout of some sort. At the time, he convinced her it was just the wine she’d drank earlier. But today, she found a bottle of sedatives. He drugged so she wouldn’t stop him. And when she woke up, she was—well,” Carly shrugged. “Naked.”
“Jesus,” Jason exhaled. “So he drugged her and you guys think—?”
“He violated her, Jason,” Carly said firmly. “Whether it was no more than just taking off her clothes like he did to me or it was more. She was definitely violated.”
“If he wasn’t already dead—” Jason trailed off and shook his head. “Is she okay?”
“She was upset,” Carly admitted. “Lost it for a few minutes. But I think she shoved it aside to get us out of there. The second he stepped inside, she jumped him and kept screaming at me to get out of there. She’s—she’s got guts, Jason. A lot of them.”
Jason nodded. “Yeah—she’s always been like that. She wanted to protect you.”
“She did. So I got her help and went back in case she needed me,” Carly finished. “Of course, it looked like she was holding her own.” She looked towards the stairs. “She’ll be okay, right?”
“Physically, yeah. Just some bruised ribs and a concussion,” Jason answered. “But—”
“Yeah,” Carly said, understanding what he didn’t say. “Jason, don’t take this the wrong and please do not tell anyone else what I said. But—after today? I kind of—well, respect her now. And—I want—” She hesitated and glared at her friend who was trying not to smirk. “Don’t give me that look. She put herself in danger to protect me.”
“Yeah, I get that. It’s just strange coming from you.”
“I want to help her,” Carly said bluntly. “I want her to stay here or something. She’s going to be really upset when this hits her, and I guess I want to be there for her. I think she could use a friend.”
“She will, Carly.” Jason hesitated. “It’s good that you want to be there for her. But I know her. She won’t let you.”
“You knew who she was a year ago,” Carly said quietly. “I know her. I’ve watched her every day for the past month. I know that she sings when she paints and thinks no one else is in the room. I know that she makes extremely bad coffee and about the only thing she can make are brownies. I know that her face scrunches up when something in her painting isn’t working—”
“Okay, okay, I get the point. You know her better than me,” Jason said. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I used to know her better than anyone, you know? I knew when she was lying, when she was upset. And now, I don’t know her at all.”
“Do you miss her?” Carly asked, tilting her head to the side. “As a friend or whatever?”
“Sure,” Jason said easily. “She was one of my best friends. She mattered to me.”
“Then maybe this is your chance to get that back,” Carly murmured.
So go on and cry Ophelia
It’s the only thing to do sometimes
Elizabeth laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling blankly. It was easier if she didn’t move. She could just stare at the white ceiling and she wouldn’t have to think about the fact that she was in the guest room at Carly’s penthouse.
If she didn’t think about her location, she wouldn’t think about why she was here. That her husband had kidnapped a pregnant woman and kept her captive for a month while he fed his gullible wife a lot of bullshit about being a changed man.
Or that he’d drugged and possibly raped her the night he kidnapped the other woman. She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling tears in the back of her throat. Oh, god. It had happened again.
She turned on her side and drew her knees to her chest, ignoring the pain in her ribs. She started to cry and once the first tears trickled down her cheeks, they only came faster and stronger. Soon she was sobbing, her face buried in the pillow.
She didn’t hear the door sliding open or feel Jason’s weight sink into the bed as he sat down. He smoothed the hair away from her face and she only cried harder.
Her own husband, someone she’d trusted and loved, had drugged her and then violated in the worst way possible. In a way Elizabeth had once vowed would never happen again.
“You shouldn’t pull your knees up like that,” he said softly. Jason straightened her legs. “It’s not good for your ribs.”
“I don’t care,” she choked out. “I just want to be by myself, okay?”
“Okay,” Jason said, amiably. He smoothed her hair again. “I’ll check on you later. Do you need anything?”
“The last few months of my life to disappear?” she sobbed. “Can you do that?”
“I wish I could,” Jason said. He stood and closed the door behind him.
You know I’m crying too
Right there with you
He closed the door behind him and shook his head wordlessly. He wondered what existed in some men that gave them the urge to do this to people. How Ric Lansing could have fooled Elizabeth into thinking he was so wonderful—so that he could turn right around and violate that trust, trust he knew she didn’t give easily.
She was still crying, he could hear her through the door. Even after all this time, after the pain, the nasty words—it still ripped at him when he heard her cry.
Sonny had gotten home when Jason came down the stairs. He was arguing with Carly insisting she go to the hospital.
“You’re probably dehydrated or suffering from malnutrition,” he was saying.
Carly rolled her eyes. “I am fine. What I want you to do is bring Michael and Courtney home. I need to see my son.”
“They’re already in the air,” Sonny said. “Now will you go?”
“No,” Carly said. She caught Jason’s eye. “Hey. How is she?”
Jason sighed. “She’s okay. Upset, but physically fine.”
Sonny frowned. “Now might be a good time to explain what you said on the phone.”
Carly shifted uncomfortably. “It’s really her business, not mine. Maybe she doesn’t want everyone to know.”
Sonny exhaled slowly. He put his hands on his waist, leveling his trademark intense glare on his wife. She braced herself for a fight and was prepared to stand her ground.
After a moment, Sonny nodded “You’re right. If she wants me to know, she’ll say so.”
“How’d things go at the house?” Jason asked. “Where’s Lansing?”
“Dead,” Sonny answered. “He bled out—painfully, I might add. We’ll arrange for the body to be found sooner or later. Good clean ending for Elizabeth.”
“He deserved to be cut into miniscule little pieces and fed to the wolves,” Carly muttered.
Sonny nodded. “Yeah. For what he did to you and the havoc he apparently wreaked on his own wife. What did he hope to accomplish by kidnapping you?”
Carly sighed. “He wanted our baby. He blames you for her miscarriage and wanted to replace their baby.”
“That’s sick,” Sonny declared.
“Yeah, it is,” Carly replied. She rubbed her abdomen. “You know, I watched her these last few weeks. She never trusted him fully, she was always a little suspicious.” She bit her lip. “He lied and lied to her and all I wanted to do was scream at her stop believing him.”
“Come on, I’ll make you some dinner,” Sonny said. “Jason, will you check on Elizabeth one more time before you go to the airport?”
“Yeah. No problem.”
It’s alright, Ophelia
Everybody cries
She wasn’t crying when he entered the room the second time. She was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling.
“Do you need anything?” Jason asked.
“I think we covered that question,” Elizabeth murmured. “Did Carly tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“What Ric did.”
“That he—” Jason hesitated. “That he drugged you and—”
“She shouldn’t have said anything,” Elizabeth whispered. “It’s bad enough she knows.”
“She’s worried about you,” Jason told her. He shut the door behind him. “I am, too.”
“Why?” she asked dully. “You were right, weren’t you? Ric was bad news. I had no business being with him. I was just protecting a rapist.”
“I never should have said it that way,” Jason admitted. “But I’d just found out what happened to Carly and here you were, being so damn stubborn—it was like you weren’t listening just to spite me.”
She chuckled dryly. “Yeah. Everything I do is always about you Jason.”
“That’s not what I meant—”
“I defended Ric because he made me believe that my love mattered, that I was enough,” Elizabeth said softly. “That I hadn’t wasted my time trying to make another relationship work. Just another mistake, Jason. Nothing more. Had nothing to do with you.”
“I’m sorry, Elizabeth.”
“Is he dead?”
“What?”
“Is he dead? Am I a widow?”
“Do you really want me to answer that?” Jason asked, stuffing his hands into his jean pockets.
“I think you just did.” Elizabeth sighed and folded her hands across her abdomen. “You know—I was waiting for him to come today. I was so excited—because I knew how happy he’d be.”
Jason walked towards her, trying to catch her eye, but she kept her attention firmly on the ceiling tiles. “About what?”
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered. “Silly me. I thought when he meant he wanted a family, he wanted my child. Should have known he wanted some blonde’s instead.”
Jason closed his eyes, feeling a sharp pain lance through him. “He was sick, Elizabeth. Sick and twisted.”
“Yeah, I guess he’d have to be to pretend to rape one woman and then drug and rape the wife he kidnapped someone for.” Elizabeth sighed. “I sure can pick ‘em. A brainwashed cheater, a hitman and a sociopath. I wonder what’s next. Do you think I’ll just settle for a homicidal maniac who has weird fetishes? Like he likes to wrap his victims in toilet paper before he slits their throats?”
“I’m not a hitman, Elizabeth and you know that,” Jason retorted.
She laughed again, coldly. “Forgot. That’s just one area of your job. We never did discuss the aspects. I was always too weak and fragile to handle it, huh?”
He shook his head. “What are you going to do?”
“About the baby?” Elizabeth asked. “Don’t know. I mean, what kind of child is it going to be? The offspring of an unemployed loser and a rapist?”
“You’re not a loser and it doesn’t matter what the father was like. Ric is dead and he can’t hurt you anymore.”
“If that’s what you believe, then you have a lot to learn about relationships, Jason. Just because someone’s gone, it doesn’t mean it’s over.” She turned and curled up into a ball, hissing when her knees came into contact with her sensitive ribs. “Sometimes it’s just beginning.”
“Elizabeth—”
“Tell Carly and Sonny I’ll be out of their way in a day or two. When I figure out what’s going through my head, okay?”
“You can stay here as long as you need to,” Jason assured her.
“With the happy mob squad? I’d rather chew nails.”
He hesitated. “Carly’s—”
“Worried about me, yeah I know. You already told me that.” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Just leave me alone, okay?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m not going to leave you alone so you can sit up here and feel sorry for yourself.”
She jerked into a sitting position then, her cold gaze burning into him. “Is that you think I’m doing?” she seethed. “I’m trying to deal with the fact that my husband—who is dead now—not only lied to me with every single word out of his mouth, but that he drugged me and that I was raped for the second time in my life. I’m so sorry if I’m cramping your style or I’m not bouncing back as quickly as you think I should be, but I can’t—”
“I’m sorry,” Jason interrupted. He sat on the edge of the bed. “I shouldn’t have said that. I know you better than that.”
“Do you?” Elizabeth demanded. “Did we ever know each other at all? Or were we just fooling ourselves?”
Thank god for my bad memory
I’ve forgotten some of the stupid things that I’ve done
“Of course we knew each other,” Jason said, almost startled by her vehement words. “We were friends.”
“Yeah,” Elizabeth sighed, the fire drained from her body. She laid back down. “Friends.”
“I’m sorry, Elizabeth—”
“You’re always sorry, Jason. It never changes anything.” She closed her eyes. “Could you please go now?”
“Elizabeth—”
“Jason, there’s nothing left to say. You’re always sorry. And I’m always alone.”
“You’re not alone, Elizabeth—”
“Emily and Nikolas were married last week. A small chapel just outside of town. Lucky was there, Alexis, Luke, Monica, other members of both families. And I heard about it on the news,” Elizabeth said softly. “Lucky’s been mourning his girlfriend’s death for a month, but I found out about it in the newspaper. The only people I have are my grandmother and Ric—and I can’t look at my grandmother in the eye.”
“Why not?” Jason asked.
“Because I weaved a little fairy tale for her. About the wonderful and kind Harvard lawyer who swept me off my feet. That we had the perfect courtship and that marriage, with the minor inconvenience of a miscarriage, has been idyllic. How do you suppose I tell her that he was a monster? That he’s dead and I’m glad?”
“Why tell her anything?”
“You mean lie?” Elizabeth asked, raising her eyebrows. She smirked. “Why, you the paragon of virtue, are encouraging me to mourn my rapist husband? Tell me, Jason, does the word hypocrite mean anything to you?”
He stood and shook his head. “Sometime in the next week, his body will be found. So that you can have a quick ending to all of this. Your marriage will be over, and you won’t have to explain his absence.”
‘”I think it’d be for the best that I am at the house when he’s found then,” Elizabeth said softly. “So that when the two of you are questioned, I don’t have to be in a position to explain why I’m here.”
“Probably,” Jason admitted. “But Carly and Sonny want you to stay.”
“And I’m not going to complicate your lives any further. You have Carly now. You and Courtney can have your little wedding and I’ll just sell the house and try to get my old studio back.”
“Elizabeth—”
“Yeah. I know. You’re sorry.”
I’ve come to a little wisdom through a whole lot of failure
So I watch more carefully what rolls off my tongue
He never made it to the airport. He didn’t leave the room and eventually she fell asleep. He sat in a chair and watched her sleep. She was a restless sleeper, tossing and turning. Her breathing was shallow at times and he found himself worrying about her concussion.
When Courtney called about a ride home, Sonny just sent a guard out to get them. He knew that Jason was still upstairs and decided to leave him alone. It wasn’t every day that your ex-girlfriend was raped by her husband.
When Elizabeth woke a few hours later, he was still sitting there. Staring at her, his eyes trained on her face. She frowned. “Why are you here?”
“I’m worried about you.”
She sighed and slid into a sitting position, setting her feet on the ground. “Tell me,” she began quietly, “where does this sudden burst of concern come from? Where has it been in the past ten months or so?”
He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his thighs, clasping his hands together. “Tell me,” he echoed, “have you ever made a mistake?”
Elizabeth eyed him suspiciously. “Is this a trick question?”
“The day you walked out on me, when you demonstrated your inability to handle my life—”
“That is not what that was about!” Elizabeth fumed. “That was about my inability to come last, to be neglected. My inability to accept that promises are allowed to be broken for the sake of business.”
He knitted his eyebrows together in a frown. “Why didn’t you say so?”
“Silly me, I thought I did,” Elizabeth snarled. “I guess I was depending on your ability to understand me. Hoping for too much again, huh?”
He shook his head. “When you walked out, and you turned your back on me every time I tried to talk to you—”
“Yeah, both times,” Elizabeth muttered.
“It occurred to me that maybe you didn’t care about me anymore,” Jason told her. “I’m not sorry I moved on. I’m not sorry I listened to you when you told me we were over, that I’d ruined any chance we had. I’m not sorry that I fell in love again and you’re not going to make me sorry for that.”
She closed her, willing the tears to stay where they were. “I deserved it,” she whispered. “Because I walked away so many times from what I really wanted, I deserved what I got.”
“You did not deserve to have Ric Lansing drop into your life,” Jason said firmly. “No one deserves that.”
“Yeah, okay.” Elizabeth sighed. “Well, I’m all right. I feel fine. You can go.”
“I didn’t finish,” Jason interjected. “I’m not sorry for any of those things, but I am sorry that our friendship suffered.”
“Suffered,” Elizabeth scoffed. “Died, you mean.”
“Elizabeth—”
“Yeah, you’re sorry. We established this.”
He sat next to her on the bed. “Do you remember when I told that sometimes when you go away, it doesn’t make the feelings go away? That it just makes it clearer?”
“Yeah—” Elizabeth sighed. “I remember that.”
“Sometimes you don’t need to go away.”
Elizabeth frowned. “What does that mean?”
“It means that I miss you.”
Elizabeth blinked and stared at him. “You miss me,” she echoed. She laughed. “Well, goody for me. Should I bow at your feet now?”
“Why do you do this?” he asked. “Why are you so angry with me?”
“Maybe it’s because you think telling me you miss me is supposed to fix the way you’ve treated me.” She launched herself off the bed and crossed the room. “Well, I miss you too. I miss talking to you and taking rides on the bike. But you know what I don’t miss? I don’t miss the phone calls, I don’t miss the way you’d run out to help Sonny and Carly with a hangnail. I don’t miss the way you shut down on me without the slightest provocation. I don’t miss the way you make me feel inferior, like I’m not good enough for you because all I wanted was your trust.” She found her shoes underneath the bed. “Yeah, I miss our friendship Jason, but not enough to sacrifice my self-respect—what I have left anyway.”
She ended her tirade by slamming out of the guest room, leaving Jason stunned and speechless in her wake.
You pray for rain
But you don’t want it from a storm
Courtney and Michael were home when Elizabeth rushed down the steps. Courtney jumped to her feet and immediately looked at the brunette suspiciously. “Elizabeth.”
Carly frowned. “Where are you going? You should be resting—you have a concussion—”
“I’ll be fine,” Elizabeth said quickly. “I appreciate everything, but it wouldn’t look right if I were here when—Ric—well—” she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “You know what I mean.”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to back to him!” Courtney scoffed. She rolled her eyes. “My God, how naïve can you be? What does he have to do so that you realize what scum he is? Does he have to rape you too?”
Elizabeth paled and her eyes filled with tears. “It’s funny you should say that Courtney,” she whispered. She heard Jason’s footsteps on the steps behind her. He stopped on the landing. “Real ironic, you might say.”
“Courtney, just go home,” Carly advised. “This isn’t the time or the place—”
“No. Because Elizabeth is too stupid to see what a monster her husband is, he had the opportunity to kidnap Carly,” Courtney interrupted. “Now how did he manage to pull that off without you noticing? Did you help? Were you part of the plan?”
“Courtney, that’s enough,” Jason ordered. “Stop it.”
Elizabeth was trembling now. “You’re such a hateful person, Courtney. You automatically think I’d do something like that?”
“Well, I don’t know, Elizabeth. Maybe the reason you’re going back isn’t because you’re scared of him or because you just don’t see it. Maybe you like it,” Courtney snarled. “Maybe you get off on being with a rapist—”
“Shut up!” Elizabeth cried. “You don’t know anything about me!”
“Courtney, that is enough,” Carly said firmly. She put a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “You don’t know what happened—”
“I don’t need to. Here Elizabeth is, all ready to return to her rapist husband. So, what is it, Elizabeth? What makes you love him despite the terror he inflicts?”
“Courtney, stop it,” Sonny cut in. “Carly’s right. A lot of things happened today—”
“All of which has done nothing to make you see what he’s done! Did you come and beg for Ric’s life just like you begged for Zander’s?” Courtney demanded. “You’re so selfish, Elizabeth—”
“No, that would be you,” Elizabeth cut in softly. “For your information, I’m not going back to Ric. He’s dead. I’m going back to the house so that when his body is found, the police won’t be able to connect this back to Sonny and Jason. And that is all you deserve to know, so you can take your accusations and hateful words and shove them.”
She pushed past them and left the penthouse, slamming the door behind her. Courtney sighed. “Well, at least that’s over.”
Carly stared at the other woman, surprise written all over her face. “Is that what I sound like?” she asked no one in particular. “When I go off without any of the facts? When I throw tantrums and accuse people of things they didn’t do?”
“Honestly?” Sonny asked, a small smirk on his face. “Yeah.”
She glared at him but turned the intensity of the glare onto her sister-in-law who was staring at her strangely. “All you had to do was shut up when we told you to. But you just sat there and kept yelling at a woman who had her entire life ripped out from underneath her today. Do you ever think about anything but yourself?”
“That’s not fair,” Courtney cried. “I’ve been so worried about you these last couple of weeks. I’ve done everything I can to keep your son from worrying about you. We postponed our wedding until we found you! How can you say that I don’t think about anyone but myself?”
“You know, being self-absorbed is one thing, but being cruelly selfish is another.” Carly shook her head. “I can’t deal with this right now.” She held her hand out to her son, who’d been watching the events unfold with an interested expression. “Come on, Mr. Man. You and me need to get caught up.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
Carly led to the stairs and they disappeared onto the second floor. Courtney sighed. “Okay, so what the hell happened today?”
Jason didn’t answer her. Instead, he shook his head. “I need a ride.”
“I’ll come with you,” Courtney said quickly.
“No. I need be by myself for a while,” Jason told her, holding his hands up to ward off her approach. “I’ll see you when I get back.”
Yeah, you find a rose
And cut your finger on a thorn
She entered the house which Sonny’s men had cleaned up that afternoon. The panic room was closed and she had no inclination to open it or tell anyone that it was even there when she sold the house.
She closed the door behind her and stared at their living room. This morning, she’d been in love with her husband and tonight—
She crossed the room and stared at the photographs she’d unpacked before Carly had fled the room and shattered her life. The biggest one was a framed photo of them on their wedding day.
She picked it up and studied it. Studied her smile, the ecstatic look in her eyes. She remembered how overwhelmed and happy she’d felt when he’d taken the rings out of his pocket.
At the time, she’d been floating on air. His vows had made her feel so cherished, so valued. And now they made her skin crawl. Every word, every promise, every touch, every kiss—it felt vile and she could feel the disgust spread throughout her body. She’d given herself to him, more than once, without inhibition. She’d made love to him, believing he loved her.
She’d made love to a rapist.
Tears blurred her vision and her throat felt tight. She gripped the frame tighter and then hurled it against the wall. “I hate you!” she screamed. It shattered and slipped to the ground, the picture still intact.
She swept everything off the back table, the vase and the water the flowers were sitting in went flying to the floor. She took a lamp from the table and flung it towards the door. It missed its target and went flying through the front window, shattering it.
She sank to the floor, sobbing.
So go on and cry, Ophelia
It’s the only thing to do sometimes
He saw the broken window first before the shards of the lamp at his feet. He was inside before he could think twice.
The living room was destroyed. She’d thrown anything she could find against the wall and now she was crumpled into a tiny ball behind the couch, sobbing.
Jason crossed the room in a few quick strides and lowered himself to the ground. “Elizabeth,” he said intently. “Are you hurt?”
She raised her red-rimmed eyes to him and nodded. “Yeah, but you can’t see where I bleed,” she choked out. “It’s here,” she told him, pressing a hand to her heart. He closed his eyes and instinctively gathered her into his arms, pressing her sobbing face into his chest. He didn’t tell her it’d be okay, or that everything was going to be all right. She didn’t need to hear the right now and for the first time in nearly a year, Jason knew exactly what Elizabeth needed from him.
He just held her while she cried.
After a while, she’d exhausted herself and couldn’t cry anymore. She wasn’t sleeping or passed out. She was just quiet. The only sounds in the room were their breathing.
“Why are you here?” she whispered, her voice hoarse.
“I was out riding—” Jason hesitated. “I just—found myself here and—I thought—you might need me.”
She closed her eyes and for once, she didn’t throw up her defenses. She didn’t give him some smart comment about how she’d never needed him. She just spoke the honest truth. “You’re right. I did.”
He smoothed a hand down her back before pulling away from her a little bit. “I’m sorry about what Courtney said,” he told her, reluctant to bring up the topic of his fiancée while she was so upset.
“She was right,” Elizabeth whispered. “I was stupid and I was selfish. All that time Carly was in there and I just kept throwing you out when you tried to tell me. When you tried to explain that Ric was bad—that he was keeping secrets—I just laughed in your face. And you were right all along.”
“I didn’t want to be,” Jason admitted. “I wanted—I wanted to believe you were happy, that he was treating you right.”
“I’m glad he’s dead,” Elizabeth said emotionlessly. “He’ll never hurt anyone again and that’s all that matters to me.”
“What about—” Jason trailed off.
“I’m keeping this baby,” Elizabeth said firmly. “I thought—I thought about having an abortion the first time around, but I couldn’t do it then and I know I can’t do it now. I just have to find a way to make sure I can take care of her.”
“If you need anything,” Jason began to offer automatically, but she cut him off.
“I don’t think Courtney would appreciate you making a promise like that,” she said softly. “I mean—I’m grateful that you’d offer, but let’s face it, Jason. We can’t—we can’t be friends anymore.”
“Why not?” he demanded. “Why shouldn’t we be?”
“The simple fact that if I ever have to see your fiancée again I’m afraid I might have to pummel her into the ground,” Elizabeth answered easily and without hesitation. “I won’t apologize for it, but I hate her. It doesn’t matter that she was right, she had no right to say what she did today and I just—can’t be around her.”
“So what does that have to do with us?” Jason asked.
“Don’t be thick, Jason. You—” Elizabeth sighed. “You’re going to marry her. You’re going to do whatever it takes to make her happy and you hanging around your ex-girlfriend won’t do that.”
“Don’t do that,” Jason told her. “Don’t go making your mind up about me like that. You hate when people do that to you, don’t do it to me. I’m not just Courtney’s fiancé, and I’m not just Sonny’s enforcer either,” he added.
“No,” Elizabeth murmured looking away. “But sometimes that’s all you think you are.”
You know I’m crying too
Right there with you
“I want to help,” Jason told her, ignoring the comment and the truth behind it. “And if Courtney can’t accept that, it’s not my problem.”
“There’s nothing for you to do,” she told him. “This is my—.life—.I have to start taking responsibility.” She pushed herself to a standing position. “And as soon as I get this all cleared away, I’ll figure out what I want to do.” She saw her easel across the room. “I still have that one woman show Ric set up. Why not take advantage of the one good thing he did?”
“Okay,” Jason said, rising to his feet. “But just because there’s nothing for me to do—does that mean we can’t talk?”
“What would we talk about?” Elizabeth asked. She started picking up shards of glass.
“We never needed a set list of topics before did we?” Jason questioned, helping her.
“This isn’t before, Jason. We’ve both changed and—there’s still—I’m still angry with you,” Elizabeth admitted, her eyes downcast. “And I don’t see that going away.”
“But why are you still angry?” he questioned. “You’ve moved on, what does it matter what happened in the past?”
“Because I trusted you. I trusted you with my life—and you wouldn’t return that. You didn’t trust me,” Elizabeth replied. “And we can’t be friends without trust.”
“Elizabeth—”
“I’m going to be okay now,” Elizabeth said, crossing to the kitchen to throw the shards into the recycling bin. “You can leave.”
“I don’t want to—”
“Don’t argue with me,” Elizabeth told him. She turned to face him. “Don’t make this difficult, Jason. You know we can’t be friends. It wouldn’t work.”
“Why can’t we just start over again? Develop that trust over again?”
“Because you will never trust me the way I want you to. And besides, Jason, we’ve come too far to just start over and be friends.” She bit her lip. “The truth of the matter is that we will always be more than friends and I just—.I need to deal with that.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Jason persisted, following her back to the living room. “If we’re still more than friends—”
“Because I still feel the same way I felt last summer,” Elizabeth confessed, crouching to pick up her wedding photo from among the glass shards. “That hasn’t changed, Jason. And I can’t be friends with someone I’m still in love with and watch them get married and be happy with someone else. Not right now. Not at this point in my life.”
He didn’t answer her, his mind still stuck with the still in love with part. She stared at the photograph again before starting to tear into tiny little pieces.
After a few moments she looked at him pointedly. “Don’t you have a wedding date to set?”
It’s alright, Ophelia
Everybody cries, Ophelia
“I figure that we can just do it all over again the same way,” Courtney told Jason. “Same outfits, same wedding guests, you know?” She frowned when she realized he was reading the newspaper rather than listening to her. “What are you reading that’s more important than our wedding?”
“Ric’s body was found last night,” Jason reported. “It only took three days. I’m just wondering how long it’ll be before Baldwin decides to come get us.”
“Well, it’ll be okay. There’s no evidence you guys did anything.” Courtney smirked. “In fact, I bet you anything Elizabeth is the one who gets charged.”
Jason frowned and stared at her. “What do you mean by that?”
She shrugged. “Well, it’s not a big stretch. There’s no evidence against you two, it automatically turns to the wife. The wife who won’t show a lot of emotion, who will probably put the house on the market immediately, the wife who doesn’t have an alibi because she was unconscious. She can’t defend herself without incriminating you guys and if she knows what’s good for her, she won’t do that.”
Jason nodded. “Yeah, you’ve got a point. They just might turn it around on her.” He folded the paper and tossed it aside. “I need to talk to Sonny.”
“Wait a second, Jason, the wedding—” Courtney trailed off when he shut the door. “Damn it. When do I come first?”
Sonny was reading the same article when Jason entered the room. “I suppose you’ve read this already,” Sonny said.
“Yeah. I give Baldwin an hour tops before he knocks on your door,” Jason replied. “Courtney brought up something. They can’t pin this on us—but what about Elizabeth?”
“Courtney brought it up?” Sonny asked. “I don’t see Elizabeth running into any trouble.”
“Baldwin’s going to be suspicious if Elizabeth ends up selling the house really quick, she doesn’t have an alibi, she won’t be that upset, you know what I mean?”
“Baldwin will just assume she’s covering for us,” Sonny mused. “It’s nothing to be worried about it and if turns out to be something, we’ll deal with it.”
It’s the perfect thing to do sometimes
You know I’m crying too, right there with you
She slept in the guest room and had her things all packed, just waiting for time to pass so that she could put the house on the market. She had cried appropriately when Detective Capelli reported Ric’s body had been found. She had filed a missing person’s report the day before.
She had an appointment with the funeral home for the next day. Elizabeth was playing the grieving wife perfectly so she wasn’t sure why Jason was standing in front of her, encouraging her to leave town.
“Jason, they don’t suspect me,” Elizabeth tried again. “I’m not worried.”
“Well I am,” Jason replied. “You don’t know how Baldwin thinks. He’ll see this as a way to get to me and Sonny. He knows you didn’t do it, but he thinks we did.”
“Well, for once he’s right,” Elizabeth muttered. Jason’s face darkened.
“Does it bother you?” Jason demanded. “To know that I killed him?”
Elizabeth looked at him, stunned. “Jason—”
“Does it bother you to know that it’s not the first time I’ve taken a life?” Jason continued. “Or did you just never think about it?”
Her mouth wouldn’t work and she suspected even if she could get words out, she wouldn’t know what to say. What could she say?
“Look, forget it,” Jason said after a moment of silence. “I don’t want Baldwin coming after you, thinking he can use you.”
“Where is all this concern coming from?” Elizabeth asked curiously. “You’ve barely looked my way in months. And now I couldn’t get rid of you if I wanted to.”
He stepped closer to her. “I told you that I’ve made mistakes. I’m trying to make them right.”
“Jason—there are some mistakes you can’t fix,” Elizabeth said helplessly. She stepped back and turned to stare at the wall she knew hid the panic room. “If I didn’t need the money from selling this house, I think I’d bulldoze it to the ground.”
“Will you at least think about leaving?” Jason asked. Before Elizabeth could answer his cell phone rang and her face twisted in bitterness, thinking of all the other times it had interrupted them.
He turned away to fish it out of his pocket and answer. “Yeah?”
“It’s me,” Courtney chirped. “Where are you? We’re supposed to discuss a new date today.”
“Can’t it wait?” he replied, almost impatiently.
Courtney was silent for a moment. “Jason, where are you?” she asked softly.
“I’m at Elizabeth’s,” Jason answered without hesitated. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Elizabeth slip into the hallway that led to the kitchen.
“Why are you there?” she asked, irritated. “I thought it was over and done with.”
“Elizabeth and I are friends—”
“Since when?” the blonde demanded. “You two haven’t talked in months. What could you possibly have to discuss now?”
“I’m not going to do this with you,” Jason replied, not bothering to hide his impatience or tense tone.
“Do what? Discuss the fact that you’re over another woman’s house?” Courtney snapped.
“Don’t you trust me?”
“Not when it comes to Elizabeth.”
There was silence for a moments before Jason was able to speak. “I guess that’s it then. I’ll stay somewhere else. You can deal with the penthouse. Goodbye, Courtney.”
It’s alright, Ophelia
Everybody cries, Ophelia
He hung up the phone and slipped back into his pocket before turning around to find Elizabeth was back in the room, taking the painting from her easel. “You’re packing already?”
“It’ll save me the trouble,” she murmured. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“No,” he answered. “Not anymore.”
She frowned at him momentarily before stacking a blank canvas on top of the unfinished one. “Okay.”
“You didn’t answer me. Will you at least think about leaving?”
She sighed. “Maybe. If what you say about Baldwin is true, I’ll think about it, okay?”
“Okay.” Jason shifted. “I should go anyway. Let you get back to packing.” His hand was on the door handle before she said his name. He looked at her over his shoulder.
“It doesn’t bother me,” she said softly. He frowned and turned around fully. “About Ric, I mean. You were just protecting Carly. He would have kept coming after her and probably Sonny, too.”
“I was protecting you too,” Jason admitted. “He just—threw you off him like you were a coat and you went flying across the room. I was worried you’d been hurt more seriously.”
She bit her lip. “And it’s not that I avoided thinking about your job, but most of the time I just—didn’t think of it. But if you really want my answer, I’ll tell you. No, the fact that what happened wasn’t the first time and that I’m aware it won’t be the last time—it doesn’t bother me and it never did.”
“Why not?” Jason asked, curiously.
“Because I knew it was either you or the other guy,” Elizabeth said softly, meeting his eyes. “And I was always grateful you came back.”
Cry, Ophelia
I’m crying too, right there with you
He stared at her for a few moments before looking away. Total acceptance what he did had never happened to him before and to tell the truth, he didn’t know how to respond to that.
“Are you gonna be okay here?” he asked. “I mean, by yourself?”
She sighed, stared at the couch where she knew it’d taken place. “I haven’t slept in three days,” she confessed quietly. “Every time I close my eyes, he’s there.”
Jason ran a hand through his hair. “I could stay if you want.”
She shook her head. “No. That’s okay. If it gets too bad, I can just go to a hotel or something. Besides—Courtney wouldn’t like it.”
Jason hesitated, thought about telling her that he’d just broken things off, but refrained. “Okay. But call me if you need something, all right?”
“All right,” Elizabeth agreed reluctantly. She smiled then, just a small weak one, but the closest thing to a genuine smile he’d seen in a long time. “You know what I could go for?”
“What’s that?”
“A ride,” Elizabeth said. “Do you have time?”
“Sure. Come on.” Jason pulled the door open and held it open until she passed him and headed towards the driveway where his bike was parked.
It was a start.
It’s alright, Ophelia
Everybody cries
Cry Ophelia won favorite short story in the 2003 General Hospital Reader’s Choice Awards!
This was written after Sonny had faked his death in early September 2002. It was quickly apparent that Elizabeth didn’t know he was alive, and that Jason was unhappy to be lying to her. I heard this song by Corey Taylor and it just put me into the mind of Jason and how I thought he must be feeling. It remains one of my all-time favorite songs.
Recap
In September 2002, Sonny faked his death to throw off Luis Alcazar who had ordered Roy DiLucca to carry out the hit. He shot Sonny to death outside of St. Timothy’s (Or Queen of Angels, I can never remember which church is which), the same church where Sonny left Brenda at the altar. Jason found Brenda there and got her away. Later, we learned that Elizabeth was not brought into the plan, despite living with Jason at the penthouse and their conversation about wanting to be together.
This particular story is an episode tag — Elizabeth has just heard about Sonny’s death, opened the penthouse door, and found Courtney hugging Jason.
Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which
I cater
His hand pauses at the penthouse door. Jason knows once he opens it, there’s no turning back. He walks in—Elizabeth will have heard the news of Sonny’s death. She’ll try to comfort him.
And he’ll have to lie to her.
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds
Elizabeth sits on the other side of the door. She is staring into space—a plate of brownies still in her hand. She doesn’t know why she made them—brownies would never make up for Carly’s loss. Maybe making the brownies is a way for Elizabeth to feel useful.
She tries to remain calm and rational. Courtney is—was—Sonny’s sister. She’s probably upset, Elizabeth tells herself. She ran into Jason and he was comforting her. Jason is a good person—he’d never let anyone sit and cry.
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
Jason’s hand falls away from the knob. He promised her once he’d be honest with her—and he doesn’t want to break that promise. But he doesn’t see how it would be possible to keep that promise to Elizabeth and remain loyal to Sonny’s wishes.
And Sonny’s wishes were clear. Only Carly. And only after the funeral. Jason doesn’t agree—he saw Carly just a few moments ago. She’s barely holding it together. Jason takes a deep breath and turns the knob.
I wish I had a reason
My flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
He enters and frowns as he sees Elizabeth sitting on the couch, a plate of brownies in her hand. She’s not eating them—she’s staring into space. At the sound of his entry, her head snaps to him. The plate clatters to the floor as she jumps up and practically throws herself into his arms.
“I’m so glad you’re okay!” she whispers. She decides to forget what she saw in the hallway. She trusts Jason and she trusts Courtney. “I’m so sorry about Sonny.”
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds
Jason tenses at the mention of Sonny. For one brief second, he allowed himself to forget that he was keeping this from her—that he was allowing her to grieve someone she cared about—and he didn’t want her false comfort. Because he thought that might make it worse.
Elizabeth feels him tense and pulls away. Something’s not right. He’s not looking at her and his arms fall away from her. She takes a step back and studies him. She decides something is definitely off. He’s sad—but she senses it’s not for Sonny.
Wish I’d died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
With its memories
Diaries left
With cryptic entries
“Jason—” she begins.
“I just came to let you know I was all right,” he cuts in, not wanting to hear her say she was sorry again or to ask how he was. Because he’s afraid that if she asks, he might tell her.
And that he might go against Sonny without even thinking about it is a terrifying idea that he doesn’t want to have think about it right now.
Because he realizes now that he can’t lie to her. Just as he can read her eyes, she can read his. And somehow, she’d see the truth. And she’ll try to find out.
And then Jason would really have to lie to her then.
And you don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on
I won’t let go ’til it bleeds
He heads towards the steps, head down. He’s hurting her and he knows it. He’s already broke the promise that seemed important to Elizabeth. But he also knows lying is much worse—after Sarah and Lucky, he desperately didn’t want to be the next person who lied.
But he’s also not telling her the truth—and he knows she’ll consider that a lie. And when found out, Jason knows there’s a very good possibility she’d walk out that door and never look back.
Part of Jason realizes that would be the best thing. She’d be safe—and he’d be safe too. But a much larger and dominant part of Jason realizes that if she walked out that door, part of him would too. And somehow, he has a feeling that he might not be able to handle that.
So Jason will be selfish—he won’t tell her the truth. He’ll have faith that Elizabeth will trust him—trust that he wanted to tell her, but couldn’t. And the first chance he got, he would tell her so. That he’d hurt to her so he wouldn’t have to lie. And she might forgive that.
You don’t need to bother
I don’t need to be
I’ll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on
I’ll never live down my deceit
But Jason would never forgive himself for walking up the stairs from the woman he loved—who only wanted to comfort him and be there for him.
And somehow, the idea that someone would want to…is harder to accept that the idea that he had to lie.
