Written in 58 minutes.
After learning of Elizabeth’s condition, she reluctantly agreed to step back from some of the new duties she’d assumed in the stables. She personally thought that she could have continued on with little alteration to her activities, but Jason had seemed so worried for her safety that she’d agreed with little argument. And he’d asked her for so little since their marriage had begun, it seemed churlish not to agree.
“Just until you’ve safely delivered,” Jason told her. He tightened his arm around her, the sounds of rain pattering gently against the windowpane. “For my sake,” he added. “I still have a few months left on my term, and I can’t be here every day.”
“I’ve already agreed,” Elizabeth murmured, her eyes closed and her mind drifting towards sleep. “You mustn’t worry so.”
“I won’t.” He would, of course, but he would do a better job hiding it from her, Jason decided as her breathing deepened and the weight of her body tucked against his shifted, indicating she’d fallen sleep. She’d done this once before, and all on her own—though he disliked thinking of her alone with Cameron back East. How had she managed? Had there been anyone to turn to? Had the birth been easy?
It might not be within his power to guarantee that both his wife and their child would be safe and healthy, but surely there were ways to encourage that ending—actions Jason could take.
It was difficult to follow her into sleep, nearly impossible to stop his mind from imagining all the disasters that could occur if he wasn’t there to pay attention. His father had managed this three times, his grandfather twice, and hadn’t Jason’s brother done it as well? They’d kept their wives from tragedy—
But they weren’t there to ask, and none of Jason’s other acquaintances were fathers. He was on his own.
—
Elizabeth had suggested they wait a few more weeks before telling his family — it was Lila’s fondest wish for more grandchildren—she wanted to be absolutely sure. And she fretted over Cameron’s reaction. He was a secure little boy, who had taken to life on the ranch and as Jason’s son so easily, one could scarcely remember it had only been a handful of months since they’d met.
But finally, as the stubborn summer finally relented and the days turned towards autumn, Elizabeth and Jason took Cameron into town for their weekly dinner with Lila and Dillon, prepared to share their good news.
Cameron raced into the house, eager only to see his grandmother, but for the treats she ensured were on hand for the little boy. By the time Jason and Elizabeth entered the parlor, Cameron was already sitting at Lila’s side, a piece of a sugar candy in his hands.
“My darlings.” Lila rose and embraced them both, lingering with a hug for Elizabeth. “I’m so happy to see you both. And of course, my little prince.”
Cameron beamed up at her. “That’s me,” he told his parents smugly. “Prince Cameron.”
Elizabeth laughed and sat on the settee across from Lila and Cameron. “Yes, Prince Cameron who must remember to clean up after his new puppy. And his pony.”
“Puppy!” Lila’s eyes sparkled. “I must hear everything.”
Only too happy to talk about the dog that Jason had brought home a week before, Cameron’s excited words kept them occupied until dinner was served. They talked of life on the ranch, Jason’s last few weeks as sheriff, Dillon’s plans to stay on as a deputy, and plans for Cameron to begin school in the spring.
“I know how to read. Mama taught me,” Cameron told Lila proudly. “But Papa says I have to learn how to do lots more so I can have more horses and race them and make them happy and—”
“And it will be good for you to make friends,” Elizabeth added. “Your own age.”
After dinner, Cameron went up to play in the nursery, and they settled back in the parlor, with tea for the ladies, and ale for Jason and his cousin. When his grandmother had served both she and Elizabeth, Jason sent Elizabeth a glance, and she smiled nervously. Nodded.
“Grandmother, Elizabeth and I have some news to share.” He took her hand in his, felt her trembling fingers in his own. Lila looked hopeful, but said nothing. “In May, we think, you’ll have another grandchild to spoil.”
“Oh, oh! I had hoped!” Lila rose to embrace Elizabeth again. “My sweet girl! A baby!”
“Congratulations.” Dillon’s smile was smug, and Jason knew the little brat was taking some credit for the action. “And thank you. You’ve bought me at least another year of breathing room.”
“Don’t get used to it,” Jason told him. “Grandmother will remember you at some point—”
“Sure. But you keep giving her grandkids—” Dillon shrugged and looked back at their grandmother and Jason’s wife, seated together now as Lila pumped Elizabeth for any and all information. “I’m safe for a while.”
“And you shouldn’t worry about anything,” Lila told Elizabeth, patting her hand. “Now, I know you and Jason wanted Cameron to have things here in town, but we have so much furniture and toys left over from the children we’ve raised. You must look through it—”
Elizabeth opened her mouth, likely to agree, but Jason interrupted. “Grandmother, I’ve told you. We want you to have things here. Elizabeth comes to town often enough, and it will be a relief to have somewhere safe for Cameron and the baby.”
Elizabeth pressed her lips together, her expression a bit mystified. But then she smiled. “Yes. Of course. You’ve been so kind to Cameron, and he thinks of this house as another home. I want all our children to feel that way.”
“Still—” Lila looked almost mutinous but Jason wasn’t going to change his mind on the subject. He wanted Cameron to have his own things. For his children to have their own memories.
“We should get home,” Jason said, interrupting her again. He set his glass aside. “You need your rest,” he told Elizabeth who would never argue with him in front of his family, and she took a deep breath.
“Yes. I get tired easily,” she said, squeezing Lila’s hands. “Thank you for dinner, and for your excitement. I will see you at the meeting in a few days.”
“Bring Cameron,” Lila said as she walked with them to the door. “I don’t see him nearly as often as I’d like.”
“Of course.” Elizabeth hugged his grandmother, but when Lila turned to Jason, he’d already started up the stairs to fetch Cameron. He didn’t want to chance being left alone with Lila just yet — she would have too many questions.
He didn’t want to answer any of them.
—
The drive back to the ranch was mostly silent, as Jason held the reins and concentrated on the road in front of them. It was just as well, Elizabeth thought. She hardly knew what she would say to him.
Lila had apparently already offered Jason anything he wanted from the nursery prior to tonight, and he’d refused without saying anything. She couldn’t understand his protest — the nursery was filled to the brim with toys, and Elizabeth knew there were more pieces of furniture in the attics. Lila had told her once, with great sorrow, that she’d saved things for her children. For her grandchildren.
Only she’d lost nearly everyone one of them before they could use any of it. She’d had to pin all her hopes and dreams on Jason and Dillon—of course she’d expected Jason to inherit pieces that she’d brought East —
But Jason had refused. Twice. Without broaching the subject with Elizabeth, which meant it was not up for discussion. Why had Jason refused Cameron access to pieces of his family’s history? And for their own child—
Her hand rested on her abdomen where little evidence of the child could be seen. What reason could there be? Jason had thrown himself into being Cameron’s father after that day in the lake, and he’d never hinted at any unhappiness. Quite the contrary, until he’d rudely refused his grandmother’s offer, Elizabeth had nearly thought herself living in the fairy tales she’d read about as a child.
Had she been fooling herself in thinking there was affection on Jason’s side? She’d wondered at the beginning why a man who had hardly seemed in need of a wife had chosen her, and she’d thought it perhaps was due to his loneliness, for the need of a woman in his bed. But he’d never treated her that way—
She pushed away her worries and fretting. Whatever reason Jason had for refusing Lila’s offer, she would not allow it to affect her marriage. Jason was a kind man, an excellent husband, and a perfect father. There was little reason to invite trouble by asking questions that might bring unhappy answers.
—
Jason was surprised when, after their dinner, Elizabeth said nothing about Lila’s offer. She didn’t press him or demand an explanation. They tucked a sleepy Cameron into bed and retired to their own room, just as they did most nights, and Jason wondered—hoped—Elizabeth had accepted the reasons he’d given his grandmother.
But Lila was not to be so easily defeated, and on the day Elizabeth went to town with Cameron for the committee meeting, Dillon arrived at the ranch, towing a wagon with a sheet-covered lump.
Jason stood at the top of the porch stairs, a grim expression stretched across his face. His cousin hopped over the wheel, his boots hitting the ground. “Give me a hand with this, will you?”
Jason opened his mouth to refuse, but fell silent when Dillon whipped off the sheet to reveal a cradle. A cradle Jason recognized all too well —
It had been ordered from London, the city of his grandmother’s birth, and shipped to New York as soon as Lila had told Edward of their impending first child. Nothing but the best for Edward and his family. The cradle had been carved by one of the city’s finest artists, and both of Lila’s children had used it.
They’d brought it West with them, first to San Francisco where Jason’s father had inherited it as the eldest son. All three of Alan’s children had called the cradle home for their first few months of life. And then, Jason’s brother had married and inherited.
The last baby to be held secure, to be rocked into sleep was Michael.
It belonged to the eldest son. And now it was here, on the ranch, mocking Jason and reminding him that due to the whims of a capricious fate, he was the eldest son. His brother was gone. His nephew. All dead. Because life was fragile. And the people you loved could be lost without warning.
“Take it back,” Jason said, roughly .Stepping back, he met his cousin’s confused eyes. “Take it back,” he repeated sharply. “And tell Grandmother not to send anything else. I don’t want it.”
