Category Archives: Alternate History

January 29, 2014

Timeline

This is set during the summer of 2004, shortly after Elizabeth returned from California with Cameron and had finalized her divorce from Ric. She was drifting a bit storyline wise for a while (I imagine because the show had given her an easy schedule since her maternity leave was pretty short), and she shared a few scenes with Sam.

That summer, Sam had become pregnant with Sonny’s baby but Jason had claimed it for reasons that have never made sense to me other than Sam was a failed character within the first six months of her existence and she was on her third relationship. Anyway, I didn’t mind Sam much at first and I thought, under circumstances, she and Elizabeth could have been friends since they both disliked Courtney and Carly.

Inspiration

I wrote this just as an exploratory piece. What would Sam and Elizabeth be like friends? It’s also a little bit inspired by the song by Britney Spears.

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Elm St. Pier

Elizabeth Webber Lansing sat on the bench and lifted her two month old son out of his stroller. Cameron Webber gurgled and smiled at her. He had big brown eyes—Zander’s eyes and it broke her heart he would never know his father.

Ric had wanted to be his father—but for all the wrong reasons and though he had been a good husband and would have been an exemplary father, she’d never forgive herself for exposing her child to the hatred that lurked in Ric’s heart.

She had sold some paintings in California and would have enough money to live comfortably on until Cameron was a little older. Audrey was planning on retiring from the hospital at the end of the year and at that point, she would take care of Cameron while she helped to fund Elizabeth’s dream of opening an art gallery.

Her life was firmly back on track. She was a mother, she was a granddaughter, a best friend. And soon she would be a divorced woman again. She just had to work up the courage to file.

Emily had been encouraging her call Alexis almost since Elizabeth had left town and now that she was home—well maybe she would.

She heard rapid footsteps on the dock steps behind her and the brisk no nonsense voice of Nikolas’s aunt. “You just stay away from me, do you hear me?” Alexis Davis snapped. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs—Elizabeth hidden from her view by a large bush. “I don’t want you near me or my daughter. You just—just stop coming around.”

“Now now, Counselor, there’s no reason get so upset.” The smooth and charming voice of her estranged husband startled Elizabeth and she recognized the tone—one he’d used to soothe her on many occasions.

Elizabeth clutched her son to her chest and blinked. She had thought Ric and Alexis hated each other. Should she step in? Save Alexis from whatever Ric was undoubtedly planning?

“Whatever happened in the elevator—it just stays there,” Alexis continued, her voice fast and slightly thready. She was nervous and showing signs of some panic. “Don’t touch me!”

Elizabeth frowned and was about to stand when Ric’s next words stopped her cold. “Alexis, don’t act like my touch repulses you. If that elevator hadn’t started to move, we’d probably be on round two.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes and shook her head. No. He hadn’t—two months after she was gone. He wouldn’t. He had told her that he loved her. How did that go away in two months? She hadn’t heard correctly.

“You kissed me,” Alexis hissed. “And I was about to push you away when the elevator—” her words were cut off so abruptly that Elizabeth knew Ric had kissed her quiet.

He’d used the tactic on her numerous times to keep her from asking questions or pursing his strange behavior.

Elizabeth was silent while they talked in soft whispers before going back the way they’d came.

When she was sure they were gone, Elizabeth exhaled slowly and met her son’s quiet gaze. “What is it about me that is so forgettable?” she murmured. She set him back in the stroller and stared at him for a while. “Lucky replaced me with Sarah. Jason with Courtney. Ric with Alexis and I was never really with Zander. Why am I so easily forgotten? So replaceable and disposable?”

Cameron seemed to sense his mother’s solemn mood and reached out his chubby hand to grasp at her fingers. She let him wrap his tiny fist around her index finger and sighed. “Just don’t ever find a new mother, okay, Cam?”

A throat cleared behind her and she looked up to find a slightly pregnant Samantha McCall looking at her oddly. “Elizabeth, right?”

“Right. Sam?” Elizabeth asked. She withdrew her hand from Cameron’s fist. “Congratulations,” she gestured towards Sam’s abdomen.

“Yeah, it’s Sam and thanks.” Sam touched the small mound. “Just when I think I’m used to this, I come across a mother and their kid and I remember just…how bad I’m gonna screw this up.”

“Yeah, I know that feeling.” Elizabeth patted the spot next to her. Sam sat down. “I was pregnant for about six weeks last spring,” she told the other woman, “and I only found out about it a few days before I had a miscarriage.”

“Oh my God,” Sam murmured. “I’m so sorry.”

“I had about five seconds to decide that I absolutely loved the idea of having a baby and being a mother. I’m only twenty-two but part of me just…woke up when I realized I was carrying another life.” Elizabeth smiled at Cameron. “And when I was pregnant again, I was just—so grateful to have a second chance. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“I thought about getting an abortion,” Sam admitted. “I had a crappy childhood and I figured—what do I know about kids, you know? How am I gonna know how to teach my kid right from wrong with the life I’ve lead and the life her father leads?”

“Sonny’s—he’s a good man though,” Elizabeth said helpfully. “Up until this past year, I’d say he’s been a great father.”

The lie was on the tip of Sam’s tongue. The baby is Jason’s not Sonny but instead she asked, “Why do you say until this past year?”

“Carly and Sonny’s custody battles.” Elizabeth shrugged. “I have my issues with Carly but I felt for her when he kept from Michael and Morgan and then—they tried to use those children to destroy each other and I just—I can’t respect that.”

Sam shrugged and looked away. “Sonny’s not going to be raising my daughter,” she murmured. “It’s too—for some reason, it’s too complicated so he’s not claiming her.” She couldn’t meet Elizabeth’s eyes. “So Jason is.”

Elizabeth shook her head and laughed softly. “Super Jason to the rescue again,” she said with cynical amusement. “He’s just stepping in and letting Sonny take over his life. He’s so far from the man I knew.”

Sam raised her eyebrows. “He’s saving my ass,” she said a little annoyed. “I can’t do this on my own—”

“I’m not criticizing you and you couldn’t find someone who will love your daughter more,” Elizabeth assured her. “It’s just—Jason used to live his life for himself. Make his own decisions. He used to be honest. He wouldn’t lie—even if it was easier than telling the truth. He did what was right for him and now—he does what’s right for everyone else. He was so busy saving everyone else that when he turned around to have his own life, his wife left him.” Elizabeth shrugged. “I just—I hope he’s happy.”

“He’s not,” Sam nodded. “Because every time he turns around, there’s Carly and Courtney like some kind of warped Doublemint twins on crack. He’s making a mistake, he’s ruining life. They’re always flapping their jaws and trying to run his life. And if it’s not them too, it’s Sonny. He made the decision not to be this baby’s father but he can’t seem to remember that and all he’s doing is reminding Jason that at any time he could change his mind and I know it’s killing him.” Sam sighed heavily. “But sometimes, I look at him, and I can feel how much he wants this. He wants to be a father again. I just wish—I wish I could give him some kind of guarantee.”

“He loves Michael,” Elizabeth remarked. “It tore him up inside for so long after he lost him and I don’t care what he says, he’s never gotten over that.”

“I know that, too,” Sam told her. “Because he gets this look sometimes with Michael and I just—I don’t love him,” she told Elizabeth quickly. “But when he’s like that, I almost wish I could. But he’s just—he’s not for me. And he’s definitely not for that Barbie Doll he married. She’s such a hypocrite. She’s all fine about moving on with that Australian candy ass but she’s giving him the third degree about me every time he turns around and all I want to do is just crack her across the face but I’m terrified she’d body slam me or something.”

Elizabeth started to laugh and couldn’t stop even tears were rolling down her face. Pleased by his mother’s joy, Cameron gurgled and kicked his legs. “That’s incredible—so you despise her as much I as do, huh?”

Sam broke into a wide smile. “Oh, you’re kidding right? How can anyone stand her? She’s almost as martyrish as Emily Quartermaine.”

Elizabeth sobered and frowned. “Emily’s a friend of mine.”

“Oh.” Sam hesitated. “Well—you were out of town for a while so you really haven’t…” She pursed her lips. “Emily’s a really—she’s…I don’t like her,” Sam said bluntly. “She thinks she knows what’s best for everyone—including me and her brother. She’s rude and thinks only about herself. I’m sorry—but she’s also breaking poor Lucky Spencer’s heart. He’s been falling in love with her and she’s just using him to get over Nikolas.”

“Well—I haven’t been here, like you said. But I’ve known Emily since we were teenagers. We’ve been best friends forever—”

“So you probably don’t see what I see. That’s fine. You’re blind to a lot of things,” Sam shrugged.

Elizabeth quirked an eyebrow. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. You were married to Ric Lansing, weren’t you?”

Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “That’s a good point. I do have a habit of seeing what I want in people.” She stared out over the docks. “Have you ever felt disposable?”

“Constantly,” Sam remarked, pleased that her remarks hadn’t alienated Elizabeth.

“Every major relationship I’ve been in….I’ve been replaced mere months after it’s ended,” Elizabeth told her. “Sometimes it’s less than a month and then others it’s six months but it—it never changes. I’m good enough to be around until problems start and things get tough but then they run and find someone who makes their life easier or gives them something I can’t.”

“Sonny used me to get back at Carly and I think I knew that all along so it doesn’t surprise me he picked her over me. It hurts but it doesn’t surprise me,” Sam told her.

“Lucky was my first boyfriend and we were together—wow, forever. From the time we were fifteen to about two years ago. On and off, really. But we had some problems—he was brainwashed and didn’t love me anymore. I can forgive him for what he did because he’d been tricked into not loving me anymore. But he slept with my sister just a few months after we were over.”

Elizabeth sighed. “And then Jason and I had been dancing around each other for three years—a lot of my problems with Lucky stemmed from my feelings for Jason and I just didn’t have the courage to face them. When we finally got together, he lied to me—let me believe Sonny was dead and let be me terrified that he himself was out every night finding Sonny’s killer. So I left him and two months later, he screwed the Barbie Doll.”

Sam gaped. “You and Jason? Sonny was dead? He did what?” She blinked. “I never would have pictured it.”

“And then I met and married Ric,” Elizabeth continued. “But not until after he pretended to sleep with Carly, get engaged to Courtney and try to kill Sonny and Jason. He also tried to kill me but I stayed with him anyway because I thought he could change.”

Sam raised her eyes. “I feel like I should be eating popcorn. And he replaced you, too?”

“I left him in April and he’s already moved on with Alexis Davis.” Elizabeth snorted. “I thought she had better taste. And it hurts. Because he told me that he loved me. That I was the only person for him. That I was the love of his life. And it took him ten weeks to find someone else.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I’m just glad—you know, I’m just glad it’s not another dumb blonde. I really don’t think I could have taken it if I’d come home and he was with a blonde.”

“Your sister was a blonde huh?” Sam said with some sympathy. “Yeah—that would have sucked if Ric had made it three blondes in a row.”

“I was just thinking about going to Alexis to file for divorce and now—” Elizabeth exhaled slowly. “I feel like I keep getting knocked down. I am so tired of picking myself off the ground, Sam. You just—you have to start asking—when it’s your turn?”

“When do you get to be happy?” Sam nodded in understanding. “When is it finally time for you to get what you want? You’re preaching to the choir, babe. But I think if I could get Sonny out of my life, I could get somewhere.”

“Yeah, well…good luck with that.” Elizabeth stood and smiled at her. “I like talking to you, Sam. For a second—it almost felt like I had Jason back. Though—your comments are more colorful than his.”

Sam grinned. “Yeah, he just doesn’t have the same way with the English language that I do. I liked talking to you. You’re the only person who knows about Sonny and—everything. I don’t know why but I just didn’t want to lie to you.”

Elizabeth gripped the sides of the stroller. “You’d be the first person in my life to have that feeling,” she said with a sad smile. “I’d better get Cam home and to bed. See ya around, Sam.”

She wheeled the stroller away and few moments later, Sam examined her nails. “You can come out any time, you know.”

Jason stepped out from behind the shrubbery. “How’d you know I was there?” he demanded.

“Please. I could hear those motorcycle boots anywhere,” she snorted. She stood and punched him in the arm. “You’re a jackass you know that? Sleeping with the Barbie On Steroid just weeks after that girl walked out on you. What’s with you, Jason? You have something wrong in your head?” She rapped his temple.

“Hey—”

“And I’m not referring to your accident,” Sam remarked scathingly. “That poor girl thinks she’s been replaced in everyone’s lives and all I could sit there and do was restrain the urge to yank you from the bushes and give her free shots.”

“She was better off without me,” he muttered, sliding his hands in his pockets and staring at the ground.

“Yeah, okay. Because giving her up for the Doublemint Twins and that Marlon Brando phoney and her ending up with the half-brother from hell…she was so much better off than with you.” Sam snorted and turned around to head towards the steps. “What is it about men who think they know better? If we think we can do better, trust me—we’ll go and find someone better,” she muttered, stalking up the stairs. “My daughter is gonna know how to kick anyone’s ass who tries to tell her what to do.”

She whirled on the landing and poked Jason—who’d followed her up the stairs—in the chest. “And let me tell you something, mister, you just try to do it to me because I will wipe the floor with you and that crazy brood you call a family and if you had any sense in that head of yours—” again she rapped his temple and he scowled, “—you wouldn’t have let Elizabeth Webber get five feet out your door. Maybe you’d have an actual biological child rather than more of Sonny’s hand-me-downs.”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “Wait a second—”

“Because I’ll tell you—she seems more sensible than to run off to South America and jump into freezing water when she’s pregnant,” Sam told her. “And she seems like the sort who doesn’t judge you. You know that I talked trash about her best friend and she just sat there and let me have my opinion? I can’t remember the last time I had my own opinion.”

“You seem to be having a hell of one right now,” Jason said dryly.

“And stop acting like Sonny’s going to take this kid out from under you. To do that he’d have to claim her and he’s not going to do that. I told you—this is your daughter and you’d better damn well remember that.” Sam rolled her eyes and turned around to stomp up the rest of the stairs. “Men,” she snorted. “Just large children wrapped in hot packages.”

“Is this hormones?” Jason asked. “Because—”

“Hormones?” Sam narrowed her eyes. “Listen here—” she broke off and smiled sweetly and then he knew he was in trouble. “I’ve decided I should be friends with more mothers,” she said firmly. “Carly’s a bony brat who wouldn’t know how to be a good mother if she were handed a picture book and Elizabeth seems to actually spend time with her kid so maybe I should have her over to the penthouse.” She nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a really good way to piss off the bony bitch and her gorilla friend.”

“Bony—gorilla…” Jason trailed off and shook his head. “Sam—”

She poked him in the chest. “You’d better learn to just deal with it because from now on, it’s you and me. No more of Sonny’s drop in visits. He made his bed and now he’s gotta lie in it, you got me?”

“I’m beginning to.”

“And we’re going to find Elizabeth a divorce lawyer who won’t screw her ex-husband,” Sam decided as they came out onto the street.

“Wait, Alexis and Ric?” Jason said, trying to keep up.

“And maybe I’ll even make her godmother of my kid,” Sam continued, on a roll now and loving it. She was in control again and she’d be damned if anyone would take it from her.

“And Elizabeth can teach me how to not to screw up my kid and maybe I can convince her she’s not disposable and that she’s just got really rotten taste in men.”

Insulted, Jason scowled. “Wait—”

“I don’t mean you,” Sam said impatiently, “You’re an idiot but if you had any balls, it would have been okay. I mean that stupid idiot Ric. I mean, he has a wife and a kid. She loves him—well I think she does and even if she’s too good for him, he should have at least waited more than ten weeks before screwing her lawyer.”

“I’m still insulted.”

“It’s okay.” She patted his arm. “I’m going to work on you and in like a month—you’ll learn how to say no again. Well–I know you know how to say it, now we just have to work on meaning it.”

“Wait—”

“Back off, Morgan, I’m told pregnant women are not to be messed with.” Sam started walking briskly down the block towards Harborview Towers.

“Sam?”

She turned. “Yeah?”

“I think you’re good for her,” Jason said after a moment. “She seemed—better after she’d talked to you. And that’s—that’s good.”

Sam nodded. “Okay.”

“She’s tried to prove herself to everyone in her life for years and I just think—I don’t think you would make her feel like that.” He shook her head. “I just think it’s time someone made her feel like it was okay to be herself again.”

Sam stared at him for a moment. “Well, son of a bitch,” she murmured. “I am so glad to know it’s not the gorilla you’re pining for.”

 

Timeline

This is set in the spring of 2006, when Patrick and Robin were still lightly flirting. They were so freaking cute, lol. This is set before the drama with Noah’s liver and the donation.

Inspiration

Robin and Patrick are my second favorite couple in GH history, and Patrick is a ride or die His dimples were the inspiration, let’s be real.

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Robin Scorpio stepped onto the elevator and pressed the button for the second basement where the vending machines were kept. She’d had a craving for a bag of M&Ms since she’d clocked in earlier that morning and there had finally been a break in her schedule.

Before the doors closed, a hand shot out, and Patrick Drake followed.

“And my day was going so well,” Robin breathed. She pressed her lips together and stared at the row of numbers above the doors, watching as ten became nine and nine became eight…

“If you keep making that face, eventually it will get stuck like that.” Patrick smirked at her but Robin resolutely kept her eyes on the numbers. Six became five and five became four.

Finally, she turned to him. “You really just don’t like rejection do you?” She tapped her fingers against the folder in her hands. “You keep asking me out, you keep…pursuing me…because I said no when everyone else says yes.” She shook her head and looked back at the numbers. Three became two and two become one.

“It’s possible,” Patrick allowed. “I’ve never really had to worry about it before.” He shrugged. “Why don’t you just prove yourself right and say yes?”

“Because it would have defeated the purpose in saying no in the first place,” Robin said staunchly. One become basement one and she waited for the doors to open.

As the elevator dinged, Patrick reached out and pressed the doors closed button. “And you only said no to prove a point so I don’t think either one of us is winning.”

“I didn’t know this was a contest,” Robin replied sweetly. “Would you please let me out of the elevator?”

“Fine.” Patrick released the button and the doors slid open. Robin started to step out and he snagged her arm. “But first…”

He swung her into the circle of his arms–her folder slid to the floor–and covered her mouth with his own. Her emotions whirled and skidded as she considered pulling away. Instead she let her eyes flutter shut, giving herself over to him.

After a long moment, during which the doors tried to close no less than three times, Patrick finally stepped back and released her. He nudged her out of the elevator so she was standing in the hallway. He stooped down and retrieved her folder from the floor. “I’ll just let you think about that for a while,” he said handing it out to her.

She took it almost numbly and after a second, she realized he was still in the elevator. “Isn’t this your floor?”

Patrick gave a smile at sent her pulse skipping again. “I’m due on the tenth floor actually. Catch you later, Dr. Scorpio.” He pressed the button to close the doors and his grin widened as they slid shut on her bewildered expression.

Inspiration

Back in 2003, there was a Write By Request challenge at The Canvas. You could sign up to get a story prompt and also submit your own. I don’t remember who sent me the prompt, but mine was to “clink-boom the Morgan-Matthews wedding” — i.e. the famous clink-boom from May 31, 1996 when Lily was blown up in the car bomb at the same time Jax and Brenda were getting married.

Timeline

Set in June 2003. Jason and Courtney are getting married, Elizabeth and Ric have already gotten married and she’s miscarried the baby. They’ve moved into the house.

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There was stillness in the air around her. As she stood outside the church and rubbed her bare arms absently, she found herself staring up at the stars in the dark night sky.

The more she thought about it, the more she wondered if he was happy. He’d done the right thing, he’d proposed, dressed accordingly and he seemed okay with the whole ordeal.

But okay was a far cry from happy, and for the first time, she had a second thought about one of her plans and she wondered if she’d forced this on him.

He’d never really understand her reasons for pushing this marriage. He’d just shake his head and think she was silly. He’d never say the word silly, but he’d think it.

The truth was that Carly Corinthos had found her first female friend since Carly Roberts in high school. And she wanted to make sure that Courtney would always be around. She wanted to be sure that she wouldn’t lose another friend.

She sighed and glanced towards the doors of the church. As usual, she’d been so absorbed in her own emotions—her own plans, she hadn’t stopped to think about the person this plan effected. Yes, Courtney wanted it but did Jason?

It was too late to second guess that decision now, she decided. She stared up at the sky once more.

“Carly?” Jason asked, touching her shoulder. “Are you going to come inside?”

“Yeah, I’m coming. Just wanted a minute to myself.” She turned and they only took one step towards the church before it exploded.

—-

Elizabeth Webber Lansing moaned and moved her head a little to the side. It felt so heavy. She finally lifted it from the couch and slid into a seated position, clutching her afghan to her chest.

The sunlight was streaming through the windows, making her head hurt. She pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. Drinking wine had never made her feel like this before.

She wrapped the blanket around her more securely, tucking one end inside to keep it wrapped as she stood and stumbled into the bathroom.

After a long hot shower and a strong cup of coffee, she felt a little bit more human. She hated coffee, but she found it was the best thing to wake her up in the morning.

She started to straighten up the living room, but it was only when she noticed Ric’s practically untouched champagne glass that it dawned on her husband was absent.

“That’s strange,” she murmured. Ric was taking the summer off before he opened a law practice in Port Charles. He was rarely gone when she woke up and when it did happen, he always left some sort of note.

“I wonder where he went…”

—-

For a second, Carly panicked. She opened her eyes and saw nothing. Pure white light, blinding almost. She blinked rapidly and tried to take a deep breath, only to feel a choking sensation from the tube in her throat.

“Carly, Carly, calm down!” a familiar voice called. “Honey, deep breaths, deep breaths.”

Sonny, she tried to say. She opened her mouth to form the word over and over again and started to actually choke on the word. Where was Sonny? Why wasn’t he here? Why couldn’t she see anything?

“Carly, calm down!”

After another moment, Carly stopped struggling and slipped back into sleep.

—-

Bobbie Spencer exited her daughter’s hospital room and started to cry. The tears were a slow trickle at first but soon the sobs racked her body and she slipped to the floor, wrapping her arms around her side.

“Aunt Bobbie?” Lucky’s voice broke through her misery. He crouched and drew his shaking aunt into a tight embrace. “Are you okay? Is Carly okay?”

“She’s out again,” Bobbie choked out. “But all I can think about is the fact that I’ll have to tell her that her family is gone!”

“It’s okay,” Lucky murmured, “it’s okay.”

—-

Emily Quartermaine stared blankly ahead, not feeling the warm arm Nikolas had around her shoulder. She didn’t realize that he’d guided her to a chair or that he’d sat next to her. She didn’t see her shaken grandfather sitting across from her and she didn’t even realize just how close she and her family had come to death.

“That poor girl,” Edward murmured. He shook his head. “That poor, poor girl.”

Monica and Alan emerged from the trauma room where Jason Morgan was being prepped for surgery. Edward lunged to his feet, followed by Nikolas. Emily didn’t move—she couldn’t move.

“We stopped the worst of the bleeding,” Monica said in relief. “He’s going up for surgery, but he’s stable.”

Edward let out the breath he hadn’t even known he was holding. Jason had been in surgery most of the night and his heart had stopped twice, but now he was stable and they were just going to try and correct some of the damage done to his arm.

Nikolas turned to crouch in front of his friend and took her cold hand in his. “He’s okay, Em,” he murmured softly. “He’s okay.”

“Somebody has to call AJ,” Emily said. Her voice was empty, her face was blank. “He needs to know about Michael.”

“I’ll call him,” Nikolas promised. “Do you need anything? Are you feeling all right?”

She shook her head. “This was supposed to be the happiest day of his life,” she whispered. “And a broken gas pipe has killed everyone he loves.”

“Not everyone,” Nikolas reminded her, firmly. “He’s still got Carly, he’s got you. He’s got Monica and Alan, Lila. Not everyone was in that church.”

“He loved Michael so much,” Emily whispered brokenly. “And Sonny was his brother, he loved them both so much. Oh, God and Courtney…he was going to marry her…”

“Em,” Monica said gently. “Maybe you should let Nikolas take you home.”

Emily’s eyes snapped up and there was signs of life for the first time. “What? No. I can’t.”

Nikolas hesitated and looked up at Monica. “Elizabeth’s husband was injured as well. Do you know anything his condition?”

“He was pronounced dead at the scene, I believe,” Alan remarked sadly. “The poor young girl. She just lost her child.”

“Ric was there?” Emily asked, surprised. “What was Ric doing there?”

“I don’t know,” Nikolas answered. “I’m just surprised no one’s heard from Elizabeth. Did anyone even call her?”

“Someone should,” Emily decided quietly.

“I’ll do it,” Nikolas promised. “Do you have her new number?”

Emily’s eyes filled with tears for the first time. “No…oh, God, I don’t.” She buried her head in her hands and started to sob.

—-

Elizabeth switched the television on as she folded up the afghan. She had a knot in her back from sleeping on the sofa—they spent too many nights on that piece of furniture for her liking.

“The number of dead is still far from confirmed,” a reporter was saying, “but nearly everyone in the wedding party was killed with the exception of Jason Morgan and Carly Corinthos who were outside the church when the explosion occurred.”

Elizabeth stared at the screen in shock as the cameras were panning the destruction of the church.

“Authorities don’t believe there was any connection between Sonny Corinthos’ alleged ties to organized crime. All preliminary investigation points a faulty gas mane in the church basement.”

The church had exploded. Wedding party dead. Courtney. Sonny. Suddenly frantic, Elizabeth was dialing the hospital line. Nikolas and Emily were supposed to attend the wedding. Oh, God, what if something had happened to them?

“The Quartermaine family was lucky to just be arriving as the explosion occurred. Other than some minor burns and some bruising, the family is said to be in good condition. European prince Nikolas Cassadine was a guest of Emily Quartermaine and he is said to be fine as well.”

Elizabeth started crying in relief as she realized that meant Nikolas and Emily were okay. She hung up the phone, slipped into a pair of sandals and flew out the door, leaving the television on.

“Authorities have confirmed that Richard Lansing, Sonny Corinthos’ half brother, was pronounced dead at the scene. That brings the total number of confirmed dead to six.”

—-

Elizabeth didn’t even wait for the elevator doors to open all the way before she slipped through them and rushed down the hall to the surgical waiting room. She’d been told in the lobby that the Quartermaines were waiting for news on their grandson.

“Thank god you’re all right!” she cried, pushing herself into Emily’s arms. “I heard it on the news!”

“The news?” Nikolas asked, confused. “You mean…the police didn’t call you?”

Elizabeth frowned. “The police?”

Emily started to cry again. “Oh, God, you don’t know.”

“I don’t know what?” Elizabeth demanded frantically.

“Elizabeth,” Ned Ashton said, putting his hands on her shoulders and tried to guide her to a chair. “You might want to sit down.”

“Why?” Elizabeth asked fearfully. “What’s wrong?”

“Ric was found at the scene,” Emily whispered painfully.

“R-Ric?” Elizabeth sputtered. “He wasn’t invited. Sonny hates him. What was he…” Suddenly it clicked. Found. “Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. He’s dead, isn’t he? Oh my God.”

She clutched her trembling hand to her lips, muffling the moans. “Oh, God.”

“Nikolas, get her some water or something,” Ned directed. “Here, Elizabeth, sit down. Take deep breaths.”

—–

When Carly woke for the second time, the blinding white was still there, but the breathing tube had been removed. “Mama? Sonny?” she moaned.

“Honey, honey, I’m here,” Bobbie murmured.

“Where’s Sonny? Where’s Michael?” Carly begged. “Jason…”

“Shh…just rest. Rest, darling.”

“Mama….”

“Shh…”

Carly slipped back into sleep and Bobbie rested her head on the edge of the bed. Jesus Christ. How was she supposed to tell her that Sonny and Michael were dead?

—-

Elizabeth was still seated in the same chair Ned had pushed her into an hour earlier. Nikolas had pressed a cup of coffee into her hands and she’d drank it, even though she hated the taste.

Logically, she knew there were things to be done. Paperwork, Ric’s body…but she couldn’t will herself to move for the moment.

Dimly, she head Monica report to the rest of the family that Jason was out of surgery. He’d been thrown back by the force of the blast, his body had covered Carly’s, shielding her from the worst of the debris.

She heard the Quartermaines talk to each other in relieved tones when it became clear their prodigal relative would be just fine.

She knew that Emily was still sitting next to her and at some point and time, Lucky had found her. But she wasn’t aware of much right then.

“Someone needs to take her home,” Monica told Emily, pulling her aside.. “But she shouldn’t be alone.”

Dillon, who could never resist a chance to eavesdrop, spoke up. “Why doesn’t Em just bring her back to the house?”

“That’s a great idea,” Emily decided. “Thanks, Dillon.” She kissed his cheek and went back to her friend.

Monica patted Dillon affably on the shoulder. “You’ve got a good heart,” she told him. “Don’t let this family suck it out of you.”

“Honey, you’re going to come with me tonight, okay?” Emily said softly.

“Okay,” Elizabeth said dully.

“I’m just going to go see Jason before we go. Do you want to come with me?” Emily asked.

Elizabeth blinked. “Jason? What?” She cleared her throat and rubbed her temple. “I’m sorry, Emily. I forgot that…Jesus, is he okay? I didn’t even think about it.”

“It’s okay. Come with me. I’ll fill you in on the way to the room.”

—-

Elizabeth sighed. “Poor Carly. To wake up and find out that your husband, your son, your sister-in-law, your father-in-law…I can’t imagine what she’s going through.”

“I think you can a little,” Emily said softly. She stopped in front of Jason’s intensive care room. “Besides, I don’t even think she knows yet. Bobbie told us she’s been in and out most of the night and day. But she’s alive and so is Jason. And that’s something to be thankful for.”

“Yes, it is,” Elizabeth said. She frowned. “I can’t even imagine why Ric would have been there last night. He and Sonny didn’t get along, we weren’t invited or anything…”

“I didn’t see him there,” Emily replied. “Maybe he was just driving by and stopped or something.”

“No…what I mean is…” Elizabeth frowned and searched for something. “We were together last night. We drank some wine and when I woke up this morning, well, it was obvious Ric and I had made love. So at what point last night did he get up and leave? And why?”

“I guess you….” Emily stopped. “Wait, you don’t remember if you and he made love?”

“Well, we were drinking wine,” Elizabeth explained. “And I guess…”

“Elizabeth, how can you not remember? You’ve never been a heavy drinker and you’re not the type to pass out.”

“I know, but…”

“But nothing,” Emily told her. “Something’s not right, Elizabeth.”

“What does it matter or anything?” Elizabeth sighed. “He’s dead. Whether he went for a midnight drive or he had something more…horrible plan to get revenge on Sonny again…it doesn’t matter. He’s dead. I’ve been married less than a month and my husband is dead. I don’t care how horrible he was to other people and what he might have done on the last night of his life!” Her voice had risen and now there was a desperate, almost hysterical tone to it. “In the span of three weeks, I lost a child and a husband. You’re right, Emily. Something’s not right.”

Elizabeth broke off and shook her head. “I…I’m sorry…I-I didn’t mean—”

“It’s okay,” Emily said, enveloping her friend in a quick hug. “It’s okay. You’re right. I’m sorry. Let’s just go check on Jason and we’ll go back to my house.”

She pushed the door open and blanched at the sight of her strong brother covered in burns, bruises and cuts. He had a breathing tube and other various tubes in different spots of his body.

“I’m scared,” Emily whispered. “I’m scared that when he wakes up and finds out what’s happened, he won’t want to live.”

Elizabeth squeezed her friend’s shoulder soothingly. “Jason’s strong, Em. He still has Carly. And you. And Lila. That’s enough for him. All we have to do is remind him that Carly needs him. He likes to be needed.”

“Maybe that’s why the two of you never worked out,” Emily mused almost absent-mindedly. “Jason wants to be needed and you don’t really need anyone. You’ve always been strong and independent—”

“I did need him,” Elizabeth murmured. She moved into the room a little further and stepped next to the hospital bed. She smoothed his hair from his forehead. “He just never needed me.” She started to cry. “I’m never enough, Em. Not for Lucky to stay away from Sarah, not for Jason to need me, or for Ric to give up his stupid plans!”

She sank into a nearby chair and buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking from the force of her sobs. “Why? Why am I doomed to be alone?”

“Oh, honey.” Emily crouched in front of her. “You’re not. Men just suck. And when you do find the right guy, you go and break their hearts. Look at me and Zander. He loves me and I pushed him away, making him think I love Nikolas. What kind of person does that make me?”

“A confused one,” Elizabeth said, laughing through her tears. “Someone who thinks she should still want the person she loved at seventeen when the girl who loved him grew up.”

Emily frowned. “Elizabeth—”

“You can try and fit yourself into a mold, be what you think someone needs. You can try and be the person you once were when you loved them, but in the end you make yourself miserable. You push away someone you really love and a result you lose them forever because that moment was your chance, and even when you think you have another one, you really don’t because they don’t love you anymore.”

“So, Emily, if you love Zander, just be with him. If you don’t love him the same way, with the same passion and intensity, if it’s just faded into a comfortable love and you’re almost sure there’s someone who makes you feel like you’re on top of the world when they look at you…you have to grab it, Em. Grab it before it walks away and leaves you dangling in the wind, waiting for a chance that’ll never come again.” Elizabeth broke off her long diatribe and sucked in a shuddering breath. “I don’t know what made me say all of that—”

“I do,” Emily said softly. “Your world has been spinning out of control for so long that I think that tonight was the last straw. And you’re right. I need to make a decision. But so do you.” She stood and pulled Elizabeth into a standing position. “If I’ve learned anything from my crazy life is that if it’s meant to be, it usually ends up that way. No matter how hard you try to fight it. Let’s say goodbye to my brother and go home to talk some more, okay?”

She turned to find Jason’s eyes open and unblinking. “Emily. What’s…” he stopped and tried to clear his dry throat. Emily reached for a pitcher of water and poured it into a glass Elizabeth found in a drawer. She brought it to Jason’s lips and he sipped. “What’s going on?”

“There was an accident,” Emily told him softly. “You were hurt.”

He glanced around and his eyes focused on Elizabeth. “Elizabeth…”

“Jason, are you awake or kind of in between?” Emily asked.

He frowned. “Kind of both I think…”

“Get some sleep,” Emily advised. “I’ll be back later today.”

His eyes were trained on Elizabeth’s tearstained face. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I’m fine,” Elizabeth murmured.

He focused on his sister then. “Where’s Carly? Sonny? Where’s Courtney?”

“Jason, please…”

“Emily, don’t try to appease me. Where are they? What’s going on?”

“A gas line at the church exploded,” Emily admitted softly. “You and Carly were outside, so you’re okay. The family and I were just arriving, so the most we had were some cuts. But…”

He closed his eyes. “Everyone else is dead,” he finished emotionless.

“Yes,” Emily whispered painfully. “I’m sorry, Jason. I’m so sorry.” After a moment, she realized her brother had slid back into a drug-induced sleep and she turned to her friend. “Oh, God, Elizabeth…”

“He’ll be okay,” Elizabeth said, drawing her friend into an embrace. “He’ll be okay.”

—-

It was a week before any of the funerals took place. And only Michael Corinthos had more than five people at his funeral. Some of his teachers attended, some friends from school. AJ Quartermaine was in the back, keeping out of sight of his son’s mother.

Carly, who’d been told the news a few days ago, was in a wheel chair, staring at the cold ground where her little boy was going to be spending his days. She was being taken back to the hospital after the service, but all she wanted to do was throw herself in with her son.

She’d already been to Sonny’s, Courtney’s and Mike’s services earlier. She would have gone to the guards’ services, but the doctor had forbidden it. She was still badly injured. A broken leg, a concussion and three broken ribs. She’d suffered a miscarriage while she was out cold, so she didn’t even have Sonny’s baby to live for.

Jason had gotten out of the hospital the day before, the worst of his injuries was a cut on his forehead. He pushed his friend’s wheelchair on the path back to the limo, preparing to take her back to the hospital.

“Wait,” Carly said, suddenly. “That’s Ric’s service over there, isn’t it?” she asked, gesturing across the cemetery where another funeral was set up. A casket was waiting to be lowered into the ground and the widow sat in a chair, surrounded by empty chairs. Emily had gotten sick, so Nikolas had taken her home and Elizabeth had insisted that Lucky and Summer go with them.

“Yeah, it is,” Jason said quietly.

“Let’s go,” Carly said. “I don’t think she should be alone today.”

“Did anyone find out why Ric was there in the first place?” Jason, speaking in the same emotionless tone he’d adopted in the hospital. It was easier that way. If he buried the emotions so deep inside himself, he wouldn’t have to feel them. His fiancée, the woman he’d expected to spend the rest of his life with, she was gone. The man he’d thought of like a brother, who’d taught him everything he knew about love, loyalty and honor, he was gone.

The little boy he’d considered a son was gone. It was almost too much and his only way of dealing was to shut it out.

“No,” Carly answered. “No one knows.”

Elizabeth didn’t acknowledge them as Jason wheeled Carly’s chair next to an empty one and he sat next to her.

“I know that everyone hated him,” she said a few moments later. “But he was my husband and I thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.” She glanced at Carly, her eyes filled with tears. “All he wanted was a family. You know that? The morning after we were married, when we still had our baby to look forward to, he bought me a stuffed teddy bear. For the baby.” She looked to the casket again. “Baby’s first toy,” she whispered brokenly.

“Losing the baby devastated him more than me, I think. Maybe if I hadn’t miscarried, maybe he really would have given up his hatred for Sonny. If he’d had a future to look forward to, a child.” She stood and stepped toward the casket. “But I wasn’t enough for him. Not without our child. I wasn’t enough. My love just…didn’t mean enough to him.” She reached inside her jacket and withdrew a soft yellow teddy bear. “Thank you for stopping by,” she said a moment later, her voice clear and without emotion. “It’s been such a horrible day for you both and it means a lot that you’d just…pretend to care for a moment.”

She placed the bear on the casket, like one would place a rose. “I guess this is my chance to bury my dreams of being someone’s wife, someone’s mother.”

Elizabeth stepped back and walked towards Carly, surprising the blonde when she leaned down to hug her. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry for yours,” Carly whispered back as Elizabeth straightened. “I am, Elizabeth. Losing a child and your husband at the same time, there’s no pain greater.”

“I know.” Elizabeth wrapped her arms around Jason’s neck and hugged him tightly. “One day at a time,” she advised him. “The pain will fade, I promise. It did for me when I thought Lucky was dead.”

“I remember,” Jason said, meeting her eyes as she pulled away.

Despite the warmth of the day, Elizabeth pulled her coat more tightly around her. “I’m not sure what he was doing there that night, but I don’t think it was anything good. I found a room in the house today,” she admitted. “A panic room of some sorts. He had maternity clothes, prenatal vitamins…a crib.” She closed her eyes. “It doesn’t take much to realize what he had in mind.” She opened her eyes and looked at Carly. “How terrible am I to be glad he never had the chance to do go through with it? I’m glad he’s dead, just so he never had the chance to hurt anyone else.”

“He did hurt someone else,” Carly told her. “He hurt you.”

Elizabeth shrugged and looked away. “Nothing I’m not used to.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “I’m moving. Out of town. I’m going home to Colorado for a while. I don’t know when or if I’m coming back.”

“When you’re in town,” Carly said, “You…should…come by.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth managed a weak smile. She walked away then, leaving the two behind.

The yellow teddy bear slipped and fell from the casket. Jason stepped forward as if to pick it up and place it back on top, but Carly stopped him. “Give it to me,” she told him.

He handed it to her and she stared at it. “We both lost our dreams,” she murmured. “To have the perfect family.” She glanced up at him. “Kind of ironic that the muffin and I finally have something in common, huh?”

Inspiration

In August of 2003, when we had the last meaningful Liason interaction for many moons, Jason and Elizabeth comforted each other in the hospital chapel. Then they showed up the next day in the same clothes. I always wondered if they’d toyed with having them go with a one-night stand because it was strange that it faded to black and Liz was still in the same dress the next morning  — she even went straight to Jason’s penthouse.

Anyway. That scene inspired this.

Timeline

In August 2003, Emily’s cancer had taken a turn for the worse and she was not expected to survive the night. She married Zander on her deathbed, and Jason and Elizabeth found each other in the chapel.

Her smile is false and she knows it. She watches her best friend wed her first love with the knowledge that Emily loves another. Her closest friend is making the mistake Elizabeth has almost made before. Thinking that first love meant only love.

She brushes a tear from her cheek and wishes her friend happiness in the short time she has left. She clenches the white lily in her hands—she feels the stem snap with the force of her hold.

After a moment, she leaves the small hospital room, feeling out of place. She adores Emily and considers Zander a close friend, but they are newlyweds and she really just wants to be alone.

She wanders the hospital for a little while, stopping in front of the nursery for a moment. She touches the window with her fingers, her touch lingering for a few seconds. She closes her eyes and imagines her child—a daughter. With her father’s curling brown hair and maybe her mother’s blue eyes. She would have named her Audrey.

After another moment of wallowing, she opens her eyes and walks briskly away from the nursery, wiping her tears away. She has a destination in mind—a quiet place just to gather her thoughts and regain her composure before she returns to celebrate the wedding with Emily and her family.

She pushes the door to the hospital chapel open. It slides open with a heavy creak and she pauses for a moment, seeing the figure seated in the front pew. He’d ducked out after the ceremony as well but she’d assumed he’d gone home. To his newly returned fiancée and best friends.

He hears her come in and he turns to look at her. She folds her arms uncomfortably and briefly considers turning and leaving. But she had a right to be here, too. And…for the first time in so long, she doesn’t feel anything when she looks at him. No anger, no hurt, no bitterness.

She steps inside, letting the heavy door close behind her. He’s still looking at her even as she steps forward and sits next to him. The remains of her crushed lily are in her hands and she stares at it for a moment.

“Emily looked beautiful, didn’t she?” Elizabeth finds herself saying.

Jason nods. “She did.”

Elizabeth shifts and looks away. “I was surprised Courtney didn’t come with you.”

“She doesn’t know that Emily was getting married,” Jason tells her. “I…we haven’t spoken for a few days.”

Elizabeth frowns and before she can stop herself, she asks, “Why?”

Jason takes a deep breath and looks away, his eyes sad and distant. “Because she lied to me. She was pregnant, didn’t tell me. She came to South America, knowing she wasn’t supposed to. She was kidnapped and before I got to her, she miscarried and she never told me. She was never going to tell me at all.” He breaks off after the explanation and looks at his hands.

She sets her broken flower at her side and covers his hands with one of her own. She doesn’t say anything and after a moment, he looks up at her. He doesn’t speak either. She doesn’t need to say I’m sorry and he doesn’t need to accept it. They’ve never really needed words and it was nice to pretend for just one moment—on Emily’s wedding day and maybe in honor of the sister they shared—it was nice to pretend that they still didn’t.

Inspiration

If I recall correctly, this was in response to a challenge: What if Jason and Elizabeth had an affair? I was always interested in writing a story with that as the trope, but I was never sure if I could get it to work with their characters. Even here, I don’t go into the hows and whys very much. I did a decent job in For the Broken Girl, building to an emotional affair with light physical cheating (some kissing), but I fully believe an outright affair that goes on for months is outside of their character.

Timeline

Set in the summer of 2003, but before Ric kidnaps Carly. It’s kind of out of time and place. Jason and Courtney are together, so are Elizabeth and Ric. That’s really all that matters.

Banner

She always told herself it was the last time. Every time she’d open the door to him, she’d assure herself that after today, she’d tell him it was over. That…they couldn’t do this anymore. That something had to change.

But she never did. And she cherished every touch, every kiss, every caress knowing one day it would be over. That even though they both lacked the motivation and desire to do so, one day…it would end. And she’d only have the memories.

She sighed and stared at the ceiling of her studio. They never went to the bedroom—she knew the guilt that lived in her would be unbearable if this happened there. There was a small couch in there that they made do with.

She listened to the rustle as he dressed silently. She heard him pull his jeans over his legs and narrow waist. He zipped and buttoned them before searching for the black t-shirt he’d worn over.

She clutched the afghan higher on her chest and propped herself up on her elbow. “It’s behind the easel,” she said quietly.

He didn’t look at her, just nodded and headed across the room to pull the cotton shirt from the floor and he slid it over his head. He sat on her stool and pulled on his socks and boots.

“This can’t happen again,” he said.

“I know.”

A conversation they’d had more than once. It was always the same. They’d swear it wouldn’t happen again and then maybe a few days later or even hours later, he’d show up at her door and they’d barely make it to her studio before their clothes were gone and he was inside her.

But inevitably, it would be over and they would lay in silence for a few moments before he’d dress, tell her it couldn’t happen again, and then he’d leave.

And she’d start to cry.

It was a vicious circle, one that would destroy her one day, she was sure. But for now, she’d live for every single forbidden touch.

His hand was on the studio door—he was about to leave her again—but he stopped and turned and looked at her. She was staring right back at him. Just a few moments longer, she told herself. He’d be gone and she could let it go.

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Familiar words but they were different this time. His voice was low, thin and nearly desperate. She swallowed hard and slid her feet to the ground, sitting up and wrapping the afghan more securely around herself. “Jason—”

“I can’t keep coming here…doing this…and hurting…” He stopped, averted his eyes from her. “We’re hurting people. And I never wanted to do that.”

He was right and she had the sinking feeling that this time, when he said this couldn’t happen again…that this time he really meant it.

She blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to keep the tears from spilling over her lashes. “I know,” she choked. “Oh, God, we’re such horrible people.”

He crossed the room then and kneeled in front of her, pressing his forehead into her knees. “Elizabeth…we can’t keep doing this.”

“I know.”

He raised his bloodshot eyes to hers, stunning her with the desolation she saw in them. “I leave you every day and go back to the penthouse,” he told her quietly. “I look at Courtney and I feel like I’m choking. Because when she comes and she hugs me, and I feel her arms around me…I’m pretending that they’re yours.”

She bit her lip. “I know. Because I see Ric and when I feel his hands on my face, on my skin…I’m pretending it’s you.”

“I can’t…I can’t leave her,” Jason said, voicing what she knew to be true. “I can’t hurt her like that.”

“I can’t leave Ric,” she whispered. “He’s…he’s sick and I can’t do that to him.”

He nodded and clenched his hands around her own and held them tightly. “But I don’t think that I can walk away from you today and not come back.”

“We have to do something,” she breathed. “We can’t keep doing this Jason. The guilt is devouring us both. When does it get to be our turn to be happy?”

“Maybe we don’t get the chance.”

“But why?” she asked, desperately. The tears she’d been trying so hard to keep back spilled over her lashes and streamed down her cheeks. “Why did we do this to ourselves?”

“Please don’t cry,” he whispered. “I can’t…I can’t do this if you cry.”

“I’m sorry,” she managed to say, clutching a hand to her mouth. “I’m sorry. I just…I just can’t watch you walk away.”

He touched her face, stroked the curve of her jaw. ”I love you,” he said so softly she almost didn’t hear him. “I love you with everything that I am.”

“I love you, too.” She slid forward until she was off the couch and practically in his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her mouth to his, as if a kiss would solve it all.

The kiss was soft and gentle—as if they were other people, normal people and they’d just professed their love for the first time. He pulled the afghan from her body, tossed it towards the floor and laid her down gently on it.

“I love you,” he whispered again. He brushed soft kisses over her face, her neck before finding her lips again.

Her hands found the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. He was quickly shed of the clothes he’d only just put back on.

“I need you,” she moaned, burying her face in his neck. “Please Jason.”

His hands explored her body, desperate to know every inch, every curve of her soft skin. He spread her legs easily and she drew one leg up to wrap around her waist. He slid deep inside her and she closed her eyes, feeling the connection for what she accepted would be the last time.

As Jason thrust—slowly at first—she felt the warmth of his own tears on her skin and she knew he knew it was the end, too. She threaded her fingers in his hair and moaned, fighting the release. Her walls started to tighten and she started to sob.

It was over in a few more minutes—not long after she gave in, he let go, too and they parted and lay sprawled out on the floor.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know,” she whispered.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

After another moment, she felt him stand and she closed her eyes, listening to the familiar sounds of him dressing. She kept her eyes closed and listened to the floorboards creaking.

“I have to go.”

“He’ll be home soon anyway.”

“Elizabeth, I…”

“I know, Jason. I know.”

Inspiration

Along with Back at Jake’s, this is a story I wrote just kind of exploring the history of Jason and Elizabeth. I had been a huge LL2 fan back in the day, then tuned out for a few years due to high school. I came to Liason fanfiction late and didn’t really write a lot for LL2 back in the day. I was still really understanding their characters, and I took the opportunity to think about how Elizabeth might feel about her rape five years later. It’s definitely not one of my favorites of the early stuff, but it was part of the learning process so I’ve left it up.

Timeline

This is set in February of 2003 (obviously), and kind of exists outside the canon. Jason and Elizabeth are separated and dating Ric and Courtney, but they’re not really factors.

Banner

February 14, 2003

It was early afternoon when Elizabeth Webber sat down on the stone bench in front of the fountain. She closed her eyes and forced herself not to think about five years ago when she’d been young and naïve enough to think that the park was safe.

She heard the crackling of footsteps and jumped up, startled. Lucky Spencer appeared from behind some bushes. “Hey. I thought I might find you here,” he stated simply, sticking his hands in his pockets.

Elizabeth chuckled nervously. “I guess I’m still a little jumpy,” she said, sitting back down. Lucky took a seat next to her. “Why were you looking for me?”

Lucky shrugged. “I woke up this morning and it hit me I guess. You know—there hasn’t been a Valentine’s Day that’s passed that I haven’t thought about it.”

“That makes two of us,” Elizabeth said softly. She rubbed her hands nervously over her jeans. “It’s funny. Sometimes days and even entire weeks will go by where I don’t think about it.”

“It’s been five years, Elizabeth,” Lucky replied. “You’re entitled to move on.”

“I know that. I just…it’s so easy to remember the days when it was all I thought about. It consumed me, took over my life until I could hardly recognize myself anymore.”

“I still think about what would have happened if I hadn’t taken Sarah to that stupid dance,” Lucky said. He shook his head and looked straight ahead towards the fountain. “I wonder if maybe we’d gone to the dance like we were supposed to…”

“I used to think about that at first, too,” Elizabeth admitted. “But in the end, it was me who made up the date, me who went to the movies and it was me who chose to walk through this park alone.”

“How do you feel about it now?” Lucky asked, hesitantly.

She shrugged. “I guess…for the most part…I’m over it. I mean, I still get a little jumpy at night when I’m by myself. I don’t trust anyone and I still don’t like coming here at night. But really, Lucky, I’m okay.” She smiled at him. “Thank you. Thank you for caring enough to find me today.”

“Elizabeth, I’m always going to love you,” Lucky told her. “Just because we’re not in love anymore…you know? You’ve been such a major person in my life…of course I care.”

“So, how’s your friend…Laura?” Elizabeth asked, eager to change the subject.

Lucky sighed. “I don’t know. Things…they’re weird right now. You women…you’re all so hard to figure out. I never know what you want.”

“That’s not true,” Elizabeth remarked. “You used to be pretty good at it.”

“Before the fire, yeah,” Lucky admitted. “Come on, Elizabeth. The reason we worked before the fire is because we were friends. We had all that time to know each other before we fell in love. We were best friends that turned into more. You can’t ask for anything better. You and me…we’re completely different from Laura and I.”

“I know. First love and all that,” Elizabeth replied. “Look, Lucky, if you really care about Laura…make her understand that. Don’t let her think for one second that you don’t. Don’t assume she knows, because it’s possible that she doesn’t. If you care about her and you want her, do both of you a favor…and fight for it.”

“Once again, there’s a cryptic remark that I just know has more to it than just friendly advice,” Lucky said. “It’s about you and Jason.”

“There is no me and Jason,” Elizabeth replied honestly. “I thought I knew what I wanted. I went after it until I got it and then I found out I had no idea what I wanted. I thought that I was in love with this great guy who cared about me, cared about my feelings, what I thought…someone who knew me and instead…I ended up with Sonny’s enforcer.”

“Hey, I’ll never be his biggest fan, but I don’t think that’s all there is,” Lucky replied. “He cares about you. I knew it back when we were still together. Probably why I tried to beat him up.”

“Anyone can care about a person,” Elizabeth replied. “I didn’t want Jason to care about me. I wanted him to love me. Was that too much to ask?”

“No,” Lucky said instantly. “You deserve that much, Elizabeth. At the very least, you deserve someone who loves you. Okay, so it didn’t work with Jason. Yeah, that sucks. And yeah, right now that hurts. But you got to ask yourself…are you going to let that determine the rest of your life?”

Elizabeth sighed and looked away, her eyes sad and distant. “I don’t know, Lucky. Sometimes I think I’m always going to be that girl in the snow, waiting for someone to come and pick me up.”

“You wouldn’t have waited,” Lucky replied. “You’re strong, Elizabeth. You would have picked yourself up. I just happened to come along first.”

“Thanks,” Elizabeth said. She leaned towards him and enveloped in a quick fierce hug. “You have no idea how much I needed you back then.”

“I needed you just as much,” Lucky said, kissing her on the cheek before releasing her. “I think Nikolas was looking for you, too.”

“Really?” Elizabeth asked, surprised. “Why?”

“Hey, no matter what’s gone down these past few years, you, me, Nikolas and Emily…we’re still family. You know? The best of friends.”

“The four Musketeers,” Elizabeth said, her eyes lighting up.

“One for all and all for one,” Lucky teased. She hit him playfully.

“Hey, that’s not any fair!” Elizabeth groaned. She laughed. “Okay, I’m going back to my studio. I wanted to call Em, today anyway. If you see Nikolas…tell him he can stop by.”

“I will,” Lucky said. He watched Elizabeth disappear in the bushes and sighed.

—-

He found the other man standing on the docks. He was standing, facing the water his hands clenched into fists at his side.

“Waiting for someone?” Lucky asked, smirking.

Jason Morgan turned and immediately glared at Elizabeth’s ex-boyfriend. “What do you want?”

Lucky shrugged. “Nothing. I just following Elizabeth back home, making sure she was safe.”

“What does she need you do that for?” Jason demanded.

Oh, yeah. Jason still cares about Elizabeth. A lot. Lucky resisted the urge to needle the other man and forced himself to be casual. “You know…with the day being what it is. I was worried.”

“I know what day it is,” Jason snapped, irritated.

“Have you even gone to see her?” Lucky demanded.

“No,” he admitted.

Lucky snorted. “And to think, she used to defend you. Jason’s my friend,” he mocked. “Jason lets me be myself. Jason listens to me. Jason’s there for me–”

“Shut the hell up!” Jason growled. “You don’t know anything about me and Elizabeth–”

“I know she walked out and that you let her go,” Lucky shot back.

“Shut up,” Jason warned him.

“What kind of friend are you that you haven’t even gone to see her on the anniversary of one of the worst days of her life?” Lucky demanded.

“She’d just slam the door in my face,” Jason muttered turning his attention back to the water.

“I thought Elizabeth was just trying to rationalize everything, but she’s right. She really did make you up,” Lucky said, incredulously. “She thought you were someone who really knew her, who understood her. You don’t know a damn thing about her, do you?”

“Just shut up, Lucky,” Jason said, shaking his head. “I don’t have the patience for this.”

“You act like you’ve never had a door slammed in your face before,” Lucky remarked. “Think about it, Jason. You really care about Elizabeth? I mean, if you really do…you need to show her. She’s been through a lot of shit in her life–none of which she deserved. The last she needs is someone else jerking her around. Dangling his love in front of her, making her jump through hoops to prove she deserve it–”

“I never did that!” Jason exploded finally. “I’m not you, Lucky. I don’t mess with other people’s lives. Elizabeth knows how I feel about her–”

“Right,” Lucky drawled sarcastically. “You sure about that, Jase? Have you ever actually said the words? Because she deserves that much.” Lucky just shook his head. “You know what, I don’t care what you do. Go see her, don’t go see her. It’s all the same to me. She doesn’t expect anything from you, so if you don’t show up, at least she won’t be crying about it.” Lucky glared at him a moment before stalking away.

Jason muttered something under his breath, dragged his fingers through his hair and stalked in the opposite direction.

—-

Elizabeth glanced up from her sketch when she heard the knock. “Nikolas?” she called.

“No.” There was a pause. “It’s Jason.”

Elizabeth’s breath caught in her throat as she crossed the studio to flip open the locks. “W-what are you doing here?” she asked, opening the door.

“I…” Jason shook his head. “Shit,” he grumbled. “I argued with myself the entire day about coming to see you and then I ran into Lucky on the docks–”

Elizabeth sighed. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything to him,” she muttered. “Jerk never could mind his own business.”

“I just…I wanted to know if you were okay,” Jason finally said. “I know…I know today is…is well..”

“I’m okay,” Elizabeth gratefully. “Thank you for asking.”

“Uh…” Jason took a deep breath. “I don’t suppose you’d…want to go for a ride…”

“Really?” Elizabeth asked, her eyes lighting up at the prospect.

“Yeah,” Jason replied, feeling a little more confident. “Really. Maybe…we could talk.”

She flashed him a brief smile. “I’d like that,” she said softly.

Inspiration & Timeline

Back in August of 2002, we still thought as a fanbase that we had a chance. Little did we know that the nonsense in August 2002 was just prologue to the crap we would have to go through for the next eighteen years. (I…am not bitter. Or salty.)

Anyway, this takes place around August 27, 2002. At this point, Jason and Elizabeth are still apart — he was hurt over Zander, then pushed her away after the warehouse explosion worried she’d get hurt. Elizabeth is struggling with that decision.

It’s another one of my early efforts that I think is interesting and worth reading only to see the progression of how I developed. I was still a new Liason fan and learning their history, so this is was also me just exploring their relationship and dynamics. I don’t think I had a handle on either of these characters at this point, but it’s always fun to go back and look at how I learned to write them.

Elizabeth sat on the curb outside Jake’s and let herself get lost in the memories. She could see her self three years ago, dressed in next to nothing and waltzing into the bar looking for trouble. She could remember talking to Jason as if it were yesterday. At the time, he’d been Emily’s older brother and nothing more.

And now… she drew in a deep breath. Well, she wasn’t quite sure what Jason was to her. He’d been her best friend, the only person who’d been able to get through to her. At one point, before her kidnapping, she’d even let herself wonder what it would be like to if they could be more. Well, she’d ruined that chance. Ruin wasn’t the right word. Decimated, shattered…those words were more like it.

She hugged her knees into her chest and sighed. What she wouldn’t give to be here, three years ago. She’d do the entire thing over. At first, she’d make the same decisions. But if she could…she’d handle the whole Lucky/Jason situation completely different. She would tell Lucky from the start that she’d been attracted to Jason the first time around. And she would tell him that he couldn’t choose her friends and she wasn’t going to stop hanging out with Jason.

She would take his hand that day in the park. God help her, if she could do that day over again, she’d take his hand and follow him anywhere he wanted to go.

“What’re you doing here?”

She didn’t need to look up. She knew it was Jason. She could see his boots, she recognized his voice. She loved his voice.

She sighed. “I’m reminiscing. You don’t live here anymore, so I figured I wasn’t breaking any rules.”

He sat down next to her on the curb. She had to smirk. She was small; she could curl up on the curb. He was too tall to sit comfortably. Good. “Reminiscing about what?”

“The day my life turned around,” Elizabeth replied, quietly. “August 27, 1999. I came here trying to forget my pain and I found you instead.”

“I didn’t realize,” Jason said. She still didn’t look at him. “I’m glad I could help.”

She shrugged. “Back then, I like to think our friendship was a bit more equal. You listened about Lucky, I listened about Michael. You pulled me back from the edge, took me riding. I found you in the snow.” She sighed. “Our friendship had so much potential.”

“Potential?” Jason asked, confused. “You say that like we didn’t keep on being friends.”

“We didn’t,” Elizabeth replied. “Not really. You left that January and you weren’t back that long the second time. When you came back in 2001, we were still on an equal footing. I gave you a place to stay and you listened about Lucky. And then I started using you. That’s when it went all downhill.”

“What do you mean?” Jason wanted to look into her eyes. See what she was thinking, feeling. She was still staring straight ahead–at a row of motorcycles.

“I started jerking you around. Telling you I couldn’t see you, running to you the next, not believing you–” she broke off. “Tell me, what did I do for you that was any good?”

“You were confused,” Jason replied. “You were dealing with Lucky and he wasn’t right. You knew that. I knew that. You did what you had to do.”

“All right. Then what about this time around?” Elizabeth asked. “I think, once again we were off to a good start. Then I got kidnapped. You searched for me, saved my life again and how I do repay you?” She could feel the tears in the back of her eyes and willed them back. This was not about how she felt. “I sleep with a man that I’m not in love with and he throws it in your face. Instead of throwing him out, I defend him every chance I get. I use our friendship,” she said saying the word sarcastically, “to keep him safe. He sets you up, breaks into your apartment, shoots me and I still went home with him.” She shook her head. “The only thing I’ve done right is tell Zander that I won’t go to Florida with him. Not that he took that well. I haven’t seen him since.”

“I don’t blame you for any of those things,” Jason said.

She laughed, bitterly. “Of course not, Jason. You never do. Which makes this worse. God, why can’t you just be mad at me?” She angrily swiped at her eyes. “If you could be mad, I could be spending my energy on trying to get you to forgive me and instead, I hate myself. I’m mad at myself.” She drew in a shaky breath. “But if you’re not mad at me, that’s your choice. I can’t change that. I just wish…” she trailed off. “I just wish I could do things differently.”

“What–” Jason stopped and breathed deeply. “What would you do differently?”

She looked at him then–met his eyes for the first time. Her eyes were watery and full of pain. “There so many things I’d do differently but the biggie?” She sucked in a breath. “The one thing I wish I could over more than anything else in the world…” She reached a hand out and touched his face. “I would have taken your hand and followed you anywhere.” Her hand traced his jaw line. “You mean so much to me, Jason. I don’t think you know just how much.”

He reached up and took her small hand and grasped it in his larger ones. Her hand was cold against his warmer ones. He stared at her pale hand, so small, so fragile and soft–completely different than his. “Tell me.” He looked up and met her eyes. “Tell me,” he repeated quietly.

She took a deep breath. Once she told him there would be going back, no taking the words back. She took her other hand and put on top of his. She stared at their joined hands. She raised her eyes and met his. “I love you.”

His blue eyes burned into hers. “Say it again,” he said, urgently.

“I love you,” she repeated, her eyes searching his for some indication of what he was feeling.

A moment later, he’d pulled her towards him and kissed her. The surprise Elizabeth felt melted away as she opened her mouth and let her tongue trace his lips. He wrapped his arms around her waist to drag her closer and opened his mouth to deepen the kiss further. She snaked her arms around his neck and tried to get even closer to him.

They pulled apart after a while, their breathing erratic and ragged. She kept her arms wrapped around him and buried her face in his neck unwilling to break contact with his body. He rested his head next to hers. Jason was the first to recover. “I love you,” he whispered, his breath warm against her neck. “God, I love you so much.”

She pulled away and kissed him gently. She took his hands in hers and stood up, bringing him with her. “Take me for a ride,” Elizabeth said, her eyes gleaming. “Let’s take the cliff road and go fast.” She hesitated. “Unless…you have somewhere else to be.”

Jason paused. It was nine-thirty. Courtney’s shift started in a half hour. He couldn’t let Sonny down–he’d promised him. He looked down at the woman in front of him. They’d been through so much, both together and apart and despite all of the pain and suffering and the separation and the obstacles…here they were. Three years later, back at Jake’s. He couldn’t walk away from her. Not again. She wanted to be with him. They could worry about the danger tomorrow. Tonight…tonight was theirs. “Give me a second, okay?”

She nodded. He walked away a few steps and took out his cell phone. He dialed Sonny’s number.

“Corinthos.”

“Sonny, it’s me. I can’t watch Courtney tonight.”

“Why not?”

“Something came up.”

“What? Jason, this is important to me.”

“Yeah, well, so this is important to me. You can get someone else to do it, can’t you?”

“That’s not the point, Jason. You told me you’d do this.”

“Well, I gotta do this. It’s one night, Sonny. I don’t ask for much.”

Sonny hesitated. “You’re right. You don’t. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jason hung up the phone and turned back to Elizabeth, who was smiling hopefully. “You ready to go?”

She nodded eagerly and he led her to his bike. He handed her the helmet. As she was putting it on, “Are you sure there’s no where you have to be?”

He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “There’s no where else I’d rather be.”

She smiled. “Good. Go really fast all right? I love those turns.”

“Yeah, I know.” He straddled the bike and she got on behind him. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and he turned on the bike.

Timeline & Inspiration

Set vaguely after Elizabeth left the penthouse in 2002, like close to the end of the year in November or December but it’s not really important. This was written as Canvas Flash Fiction Challenge, written in 60 minutes. The prompt was: Power is the ability to walk away from something you desire to protect someone you love. It’s kind of crazy to look back and see how much shorter my Flash Fiction 60 minute entries were. I’m much faster now, LOL.

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“I’m sorry.”

“Goodbye.”

They were words that had ceased to have meaning for Elizabeth Webber. She’d heard them so many times over the past three years. From her parents. From her friends. From everyone in her life.

Her mother was sorry they missed her ballet recital–Sarah had to go shopping for her Homecoming dress. Her father was sorry he’d missed the concert in which she had a Christmas solo–Steven had a ice hockey game.

Her parents were always sorry when they passed her over for Sarah and Steven. They were always apologetic and they tried to find ways to make it up to her. Mostly through gifts and money.

Material possessions and money became the way Elizabeth measured her parents love. The more she received, the more they loved her. It didn’t matter that they never said they loved her or that they were always too busy with Sarah and Steven to really care about her.

They’d said goodbye when leaving her at the Johnsons. They’d been offered the chance of a lifetime–to take care of soldiers in Bosnia. They’d always wanted to make a difference. Steven was in college by the time this happened, Sarah a senior in high school and Elizabeth a sophomore.

They’d only be gone a year–they’d keep in touch.

She didn’t see them again. A year in Bosnia led to one in Switzerland which led to two in Russia. After that, they decided they preferred Europe and were going to stay. Steven and Sarah decided they preferred Europe as well.

Elizabeth Webber lived alone in a cold and drafty studio. Her only family–her grandmother Audrey Hardy—had a massive coronary on Christmas Eve and died in the early hours of December 27.

She had no one else in the small town of Port Charles, save for a few friends and a couple of former friends.

She’d been sitting at Audrey’s bedside when she heard the news that Brenda Barrett and Jasper Jacks had fled the jurisdiction. Jax couldn’t be prosecuted for the murder of Luis Alcazar and Brenda wouldn’t have to testify.

She’d been making the funeral arrangements for Audrey when the murder charges were dropped and the divorce for both Jax and Brenda came through. Skye had a change of heart or something along those lines and had granted the divorce. Jason Morgan signed the divorce papers when it became clear Brenda wasn’t returning.

She was packing up Audrey’s house when she heard that Courtney Quartermaine was pregnant.

And that was the final piece of news that sealed her decision. Courtney Quartermaine was pregnant and she’d been sleeping with Jason for a little over a month. She said the baby was his.

It didn’t matter that even Elizabeth could tell the other woman was lying–that she couldn’t be sure if AJ or Jason were the father.

Jason didn’t think so. He believed Courtney.

Carly Corinthos had decided that she didn’t want Courtney and Jason together after all and came to tell Elizabeth that Sonny had blown a gasket when Courtney turned up pregnant. He’d all but ordered Jason to marry Courtney.

Carly told Elizabeth that Jason had argued very logically that the baby could be AJ’s. And Sonny had countered with a threat.

Carly had filed for divorce and came to tell Elizabeth that she was sorry for the way she’d treated her after Sonny had faked his death. Carly said that Elizabeth had had a right to know.

She asked Elizabeth if there was anyway to change Elizabeth’s mind–if maybe she’d try and give Jason another chance.

Elizabeth explained very simply that she couldn’t do that. She confided that she still loved Jason very much, but he was no longer the man she’d fallen in love with. The man that never would have slept with Courtney while they were each still married. The man that would never have let Sonny Corinthos order him around.

She couldn’t give their relationship another chance. No matter how much she loved Jason, she wouldn’t allow herself to settle for a shadow of the man he’d used to be.

She’d done that once before and it hadn’t worked out. She wouldn’t compromise who she was again.

She’d walked away from something she desired to protect someone she loved.

Herself.

And she wasn’t going to turn around.

The day Jason Morgan married for the second time, Elizabeth Webber got a flight to Venice, Italy.

Timeline & Inspiration

This was a response to the Flash Fiction challenges at The Canvas in October 2002. The prompt was “missing in action” and is set very shortly after Elizabeth left the penthouse in October 2002. She was pulled briefly into the Spencer drama where Luke had disappeared following Laura’s breakdown, and Lucky was trying to find him.

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Elizabeth Webber shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she stood at a pay phone on the docks. She’d been on hold for ten minutes and had already had to feed more money into the machine. “Come on,” she muttered.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jason stalking towards her and she grimaced. He must have found out what she was up to. Knowing it wouldn’t do any good, she turned her body away to give her more time.

“Yes. I need two bus tickets to Atlantic City. Right. Atlantic–yes, tonight. As soon as possible–directly–” the phone was jerked out of her hands and she was roughly turned around.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he demanded.

She raised an eyebrow. “It’s a little late to be interested in my activities, don’t you think?”

He didn’t even flinch. “That’s a low blow.”

“Too bad,” Elizabeth snapped. She turned back to the phone, already digging in her pocket for more money. She really needed a cell phone. “How’d you find out anyway?”

“One of the waitresses at Kelly’s,” Jason replied.

Elizabeth turned back around and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, because Marisa would just jumping to tell you I was leaving town. How’d you really find out?”

“One of the waitresses came up to Courtney and told her.”

“Oh, you were with Courtney. There’s a surprise,” Elizabeth remarked. “Do you have a problem with me leaving or something? Because it’s a little late to act like you give a damn.”

“Elizabeth, you can’t just go to Atlantic City with Lucky Spencer to…” Jason stopped. “Why are you going with Lucky?”

Elizabeth frowned. “Wait a second. You’re all worked up just because I’m going with Lucky…not because we’re going to look for Luke?”

“You’re looking for Luke,” Jason repeated. “Are you insane?”

“No,” Elizabeth said, defensively. “You know what? Go back to Courtney. The big bad stalker’s probably attacking her at this second.”

“That’s not funny,” Jason said, his expression dark.

“I think it’s hysterical,” Elizabeth muttered. She began fishing through her purse. “I know I have change in here somewhere… You know what really irritates me? You guard her personally. That’s what so infuriating. I get shot at, my life’s actually in danger and you stick me in a penthouse, but aww…Skipper gets a little scared by some heavy breathing and there goes Super Jase–off to save the day!”

“What are you talking about?” Jason demanded. “Are you jealous?”

She looked up from her purse, her eyes blazing. “Jealous? Jealous? You self-centered pig!” She put the purse on the ledge of the pay phone and shoved at him. He didn’t move an inch, but she got her point across. “You think I’d be jealous of that little…that little twit?” she raged.

“Then what’s wrong?” Jason asked, throwing his arms up in frustration. “You’re not making sense!”

“Why are you the only one that can protect her?” Elizabeth demanded. “Why does she get you when I got a nameless guard? What? Does she mean more? Are you in love with her? You sleeping with her? Was AJ actually right?”

“You know you don’t really think that.”

“Then why does Courtney get your personal attention? Why?” Elizabeth asked. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. You’re not my boyfriend–and I don’t give a damn how you spend your time.” She grabbed her purse and stalked away.

He followed her and grabbed her arm. “You can’t just go searching for a fugitive, Elizabeth.”

She whirled around and shoved him again. “You know what, Jason? Go to hell! The only reason you care is because I’m doing something that doesn’t involve you! You’re the one who’s jealous–you came here all upset at me because I’m going somewhere with Lucky–and then you go and accuse me of being jealous of Courtney? Make up your damn mind!”

“That’s not it and you know it. Don’t you know how dangerous–”

“Oh, shut up!” she groaned. “I don’t think looking for Lucky’s father is any more dangerous than being with you, so just save your breath and go back to Courtney. I’m sure she saw her shadow or something.”

“Will you stop that?”

“Stop what?” Elizabeth demanded. “Jason, it’s too late to act like you care about who I see and who I’m with. You had your shot and you blew it. You’re the one who never called, who never came home, who let me worry for no good reason.”

“We’re back to that?”

Elizabeth was positively hysterical with rage now. “You knew I was worried sick–you knew I was scared for you and you let me sit in that penthouse wondering if you were dead or alive while you and Sonny were out there perpetuating a lie, so don’t act like you’re innocent. This was never about Sonny faking his death and you not telling me–this was about you making me feel like I was worth next to shit in your life. Well, you know what? I’m through–I’m through waiting around for you to wake up and see what you’re missing–you let me walk away so you deal with that. I have some phone calls to make.”

He let go of her arm and stepped back. “Just…just be careful.”

The anger seemed to drain out of her body as she just stared at him. “You really are an idiot aren’t you?”

“What did I do now?” he asked, irritated.

“You always do this!” she cried. “You make me think you care and then you just stop–you shut down. What is wrong with you?”

“What? I’ve made it clear I don’t agree with this–but you’re going to do what you want anyway!”

“Damn right I am, but–” Elizabeth just stopped and shook her head. “Fine. Just remember something–when you’re done protecting Courtney and taking care of Carly and doing what Sonny tells you…and you go home to that empty penthouse of yours…remember that it’s no one’s fault but your own.” She turned around then and stalked away.

January 27, 2014

Timeline

This is an episode tag to April 18, 2006. During the quarantine in February of 2006, Robin had been stunned to learn that her father, Robert, was still alive. He’d been believed dead in an explosion in 1991. Anna had returned from the dead in 2003, but she’d been given amnesia to explain her absence. Robert never lost his memory, but willingly stayed dead for over a decade. Robin and Robert struggled to rebuild their relationship at first.

This is also set in the early days of Robin and Patrick’s relationship, before they were official.

Inspiration 

Around this time same, I had listened to a song by Lindsay Lohan (do not laugh, I will find out).

The foundation of Robin Soltini Scorpio’s life was that her parents had loved her above all else. Even after their death, their love was something she could wrap around her and use it to protect her from the harsh realities of her world.

And when she’d been granted a miracle with her mother’s return from the death, she’d never dared to think that her father could have survived. If he had, he would have returned to her.

It was the one certainty that Robin had allowed in her life.

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter

After the disastrous confrontation on the docks during which Robin reaffirmed the belief that if Robert Scorpio had ever loved her, he no longer did. He had been in town, had intended on leaving again without once letting her know he was there.

She hadn’t listened to his excuses, to his explanations. She didn’t want to hear them again. There would never be any words that would justify what he had done to her and to her memory of her beloved father.

She almost wished he’d stayed dead so that Robin could have clung to the illusion that he loved her.

I wait for the good Lord to make me feel better

Robin returned to the hospital and disappeared into the lab to catch up on various projects that had gone abandoned while she had dealt with Noah Drake’s transplant and the fall out that had occurred thereafter.

“Normal people go home after their shift is over.”

Robin glanced up at the familiar voice of her cousin Georgie. “Since when have I been normal?” she asked quietly.

“Since the twelfth of never,” Georgie said with a smile. “I wanted to let you know that your dad was in town today to extradite Luke back to the Markham Islands. I couldn’t come any earlier because there was a command performance at the mansion but I thought you should know.”

“Thanks, but I ran into him on the docks,” Robin said dismissively. She adjusted the slide under her microscope.

And I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders

“Ah.” Georgie slid her hands into the back of her pockets. “Sometimes I think about tracking down my real father and asking why he left me and Maxie.” She shrugged. “But then I realize I have Mac and you know what?”

“What?” Robin sighed. She made a note in her file.

“The lack isn’t in me or Maxie. It’s in him,” Georgie said.

A family in crisis that only grows older

“It must be nice,” Robin mused softly. “To have that certainty.” She smiled briefly at her cousin and Georgie was struck by the emptiness in the expression. “There’s always been so much about my life that’s unpredictable and uncontrollable but the one belief I had that I could never be shaken was that my father loved me.”

“He does, Robin,” Georgie said. “But—”

“I appreciate you coming by,” Robin interrupted. “But I really have work to do.”

Why’d you have to go

She avoided all contact for the rest of her shift and for the first time since returning to work after her suspension, Robin left the hospital when her shift ended.

She went home to her apartment and went straight to the closet in her room and dug out the cardboard box that she had lugged from place to place for fifteen years.

Why’d you have to go

It had stayed with her in her Uncle Mac’s house, in her dorm rooms at Yale and the Sorbonne. In the cottage and the penthouse, in her apartment in Paris. Robin had dragged it everywhere because she needed the comfort it gave her.

Why’d you have to go

She tugged it out to the living room and poured herself a glass of wine, bringing the bottle out to the room with her.

Tonight, Robin Scorpio was going to get good and drunk. And she was going to destroy the memories in this box because man contained within no longer existed and she was beginning to believe he never had.

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am broken but I am hoping

Three glasses of wine later, Robin had sorted through hundreds of photos, photos of Robert Scorpio and Anne Devane, young and old. She had collected these after their deaths, had scoured through her mother’s possessions, her father’s and her uncle’s to put together a complete picture of the parents she’d only had for seven years.

She’d wanted to remember every inch of them.

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I am crying, a part of me is dying and

She set the family portraits aside—those of her with her parents, with her father, with her mother. She put those that depicted Anna Devane alone in a separate pile.

The ones of Robert Scorpio went into a pile of its own. Along with newspaper clippings of his exploits in Port Charles, of his adventures and the days when he’d saved the world. Ticket stubs to movies and plays he’d taken her to; the wedding announcement from the Port Charles Herald when her parents had remarried. Those all went into a pile in front of the fireplace.

These are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart

Robin was struggling with a piece of firewood when someone knocked at her door. “Go away!” she called, stumbling as she finally managed to get the log set up. She reached for the box of matches and was about to strike the first one when the door opened.

“Look, Scorpio, I don’t have time for your avoidance issues—” Patrick Drake broke off when he saw the scene before him. Robin, surrounded by hundreds of photographs and mementos, tear stains on her cheeks, a match in her hand. “Oh.”

“Go away,” Robin sighed, too tired to deal with him. “Whatever grievance you have can wait until tomorrow.”

Patrick set the patient’s file on the coffee table and nodded. “Sure. It’s not cold enough for a fire, you know.”

And I wear all your old clothes, your polo sweater

Robin smiled faintly. “It’s not for warmth. I’m just getting rid of some things.” She lit the match and tossed it into the fireplace. She sighed when it didn’t catch hold.

“Obviously, you’ve never set the mood before,” Patrick said. He took the matches from her. “First you need some douse the firewood with some gasoline or accelerant so the flames will catch hold.”

Robin frowned and then stared at her half full glass of wine. Patrick followed her stare and then looked at the half-empty bottle of wine. The scene was beginning to come together for him.

Robin tossed the wine onto the firewood. “Will that work, you think?”

Wordlessly, Patrick struck another match and tossed it into the fireplace. This time the flames caught hold and ignited. Robin sank to her knees and reached for the first photo to toss in.

Patrick kneeled across from her and stopped her. “Robin—what happened?”

I dream of another you

“Nothing.” Robin tugged her hand from his grasp and tossed the photo in. They both watched the flames eat away at Robert Scorpio’s handsome face as he was dressed in a suit for his best friend Luke Spencer’s wedding.

“Yeah, I’ll believe that.” Patrick watched as she tossed another photo in, this time one of a very young girl and Robert. He surmised the girl was Robin. When she went for a third photo, he took her hand. “Why burn them?”

“Because these are just memories,” Robin said softly. “Memories of a man I made up in my head.” She tossed the third one in. “My father came back.”

The one who would never (never)
Leave me alone to pick up the pieces

Duh, Patrick wanted to say but he refrained. He wasn’t one for emotional conversations but Robin had stood by him when his father was at death’s door, he could attempt at least to do the same for her. “I guess it didn’t go well.”

“You’re right.” Robin reached for the bottle of wine and poured herself another glass. “But you’re always right, aren’t you?”

Not falling the easy trap, Patrick didn’t answer. “What happened?”

“He was never going to tell me.” Robin tossed half the glass back in one gulp. “Never going to tell me he was back. He was going to get Luke and then take off again.”

Not for the first time, Patrick wished he could put Robert Scorpio through a wall. “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.” Robin took another photo, again of herself and her father. “He just confirmed what I’ve suspected all along.”

He watched her toss the photo in before asking, “What’s that?”

“I used to think I was just a poor judge of character,” Robin said instead. “That Sonny couldn’t stand by me because he was wrong or that Jason couldn’t love me enough because something was wrong with him. But now I know it’s not the people in my life.” Her empty eyes met his. “The lack is in me.”

A daddy to hold me, that’s what I needed

“No,” Patrick denied immediately. “Sonny and Jason are just idiots and your father sucks, Robin, but there is nothing wrong with you.”

She smiled, a twisted bitter smile. “It’s nice of you to say so but it’s okay because I understand now.” Another photo was eaten by the flames and the air in the apartment was beginning to smell acrid. “My mother loves me, I know that. But not quite enough to give up her adventurous life style.”

Another photo.

“Jason loved me, but never quite enough to stop sleeping with Carly or stop choosing her over me.”

Another photo.

“Sonny loved me, but only until I broke his rules to live by.”

Another photo.

“But my father—” Robin shook her head. “I thought I could always believe in that, always believe that when all else failed, I had my father’s love.”

She picked up a photo of herself and her father, taken shortly before the boat explosion. “But it seems I didn’t even have that.”

So why’d you have to go

He was out of his element here, he had no idea how to handle a woman in the midst of an emotional crisis, he’d never let himself get that close before. But it was beginning to dawn on Patrick that whatever he had with Robin was going to be completely different than what had come before.

“You have your uncle,” Patrick pointed out.

Robin sighed. “I do have my uncle. He’s my rock, the one person in my whole life I’ve ever been able to depend on.” She went to throw in another photo but Patrick took her hand.

“You’re upset right now but you shouldn’t burn anymore. You’ll only be sorry for it later.”

Robin shook her head. “No, I’ll be glad for it. I’ve been dragging this stupid box around for fifteen years because it was all I had of my parents, of our lives together. I thought what was inside was real, that it meant something to them—to him.” She ripped a photo in half and heaved them into the fire. “When I found my mother alive, I knew I’d been granted a miracle but I never once imagined my father was still alive too.”

“Why? I mean, wouldn’t it have been a logical assumption?”

She focused on him and the heartbreak in her eyes nearly broke him. “Because he loved me and he would have come back if he was alive. He never came back, so he was dead.”

Why’d you have to go

And then Robert Scorpio had shown up, alive and well without a trace of the amnesia that kept her mother from her. He could only imagine how that would have crushed her.

Before Robin could take another gulp of the wine, Patrick nipped the glass from her fingers and set it on the coffee table behind them. “Come here.”

Robin rolled her eyes but was too tired to fight Patrick as he pulled her towards him and set her in his lap. “I’m not that drunk,” she quipped.

“Ah, there’s the Dr. Scorpio I know and love,” Patrick returned. “Relax, no funny business.” He took a deep breath. “When my mother died and my father drowned himself in alcohol, I put away all the pictures of my parents. I put them in a box, like you, and I put them on a shelf. I took the box with me when I went to medical school and I would probably have them now if I hadn’t burned them one day.”

Robin closed her eyes and rested her cheek against his chest, she could feel his heart beating through his shirt. She felt safe and protected in his embrace and she wondered absently if she could stay here forever. “Why’d you burn them?”

“Because my father showed up to my med school graduation drunk and made a fool out of himself and of me.”

Why’d you have to go

There was a long silence and Robin swallowed. “I’m sorry.”

“I was so angry at him for destroying that day, a day that my mother had been waiting for her whole life and never got to see.” He cleared his throat and forced himself to go on. “I was angry at him for destroying the memory I’d had of him until my mother died—the strong doctor who never let anything fail him. He was my hero, Robin, and I felt betrayed when he proved himself to be anything but.”

The parallels in their situations were so strong that Robin was quiet for a long moment. “My father didn’t know about me until I was seven but once he did know, he made all my dreams come true. He was a wonderful father, he was so funny and he was kind and he made me smile all the time. He made me feel safe and loved. And I thought that he would always feel that way to me.”

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I don’t know you, but I still want to

“You opened my eyes and made me see my father for the flawed person that he is,” Patrick said. “Because of you, I started to understand how my father could have lost himself after my mother died and because of you, I know that I don’t have to lose out on having my dad around for the rest of my life. People make mistakes, Robin, and they’re not infallible.”

She smiled, he felt the movement of her lips against his chest. “It’s not fair using that against me.”

“Since when do I play fair?” Patrick replied lightly.

“I’m more angry at my father for taking that memory of him away than I am at him for not coming back,” Robin admitted. “I’m angry that the way I remember my father isn’t the way he is now and that it’s likely that I’m still seeing him through the eyes of a seven year old girl who’d always wanted a father.”

“It’s hard not to measure up to how people want to see us,” Patrick said after a moment. “Knowing that you could never be what they need to you to be, no matter how much you want to.”

Robin didn’t say anything for a long moment. “Are you just talking about my father?” she asked hesitantly.

“No,” Patrick admitted. “But that’s another topic for a different time. Robin, your father has his reasons for doing what he did. You can’t change them and you can’t go back in time to when he was your hero. But he’s alive now. I’d give anything to be able to see my mother again, to talk to her, even if she had played dead for the last decade.”

Robin exhaled shakily and he could feel her tears, warm and wet on his shirt. “I’m sorry, I must seem so awful. I’m lucky, I know I am. I got my parents back and that doesn’t happen to everyone and instead of being happy and grateful, I’m being ridiculous and pitying myself—”

“That’s not true,” Patrick said. “And even if it were, there’s no handbook for how you have to feel. You get to do whatever you want. You want to be angry, be angry. Be happy, be sad, but don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not allowed to feel that way.”

“Careful, Dr. Drake,” Robin said softly. “I might begin to think there’s a heart beneath the lothario exterior.”

“There wasn’t before you.”

Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth, did you ever love me

Flustered, Robin extricated herself from Patrick’s arms and started to gather the photos together again. “I should put these in an album or something,” she said. “And—you’re right. I’m upset right now and I’ll kick myself for burning these later.” She smiled though. “He did love me once. Even if it’s not true now, he loved me once and that’s—that’s enough.”

“He still loves you, Robin,” Patrick said hesitantly. “He just doesn’t know how to show it. You don’t make it easy on a man to tell you how he feels.”

Robin met his eyes, startled but looked away almost immediately. She wasn’t ready for what was reflected back at her. She shoved a pile of photos into the cardboard box. “Thank you for this, Patrick. I—thank you.”

“Will you talk to your father?” Patrick asked.

She hesitated and glanced towards the phone. “I could call him, I guess.” She chewed on her lower lip. “He gave me his cell phone number before he left the first time.”

“You should call him,” Patrick advised. “You have a second chance, it’d be a shame to blow it.”

Cause these are, these are
The confessions of a broken heart

Later, after Patrick had gone and Robin had put the box back in her closet, she hesitantly dialed the number Robert had pressed in her hand the day he’d left the hospital two months ago.

“Scorpio.”

I love you,

Robin smiled briefly. He still answered the phone the same way. “Dad?”

Robert’s voice changed. “Robin—I didn’t expect to hear from you.”

“I’m angry at you, I don’t know how to change that,” Robin began painfully. “But I want to.”

I love you

“I’m sorry, Robin. I wish there were words—but the way you found out, it was not what I wanted. I thought a thousand times how it should go but that wasn’t it.”

I love you

Robin nodded, but he couldn’t see her. “Dad?”

“Yeah?”

I, I love you

“‘The biggest reason I’m angry is because I have to see you as an adult now and not just as my dad. As a human who makes mistakes and makes decision I don’t agree with. Part of me—part of me just wants you to be the hero I knew when I was a kid.”

Daughter to father, daughter to father
I don’t know you, but I still want to

“And I wish I could be that for you, sweetheart. I wish that more than anything in the world.”

“Will you come and see me?” Robin asked hesitantly. “When you get your case wrapped up?”

Daughter to father, daughter to father
Tell me the truth

“The very second it’s over, I’ll book a plane ticket,” Robert promised. “And I’ll take a real leave of absence. Robin, I love you. I want you to know that, even if you don’t believe it.”

She didn’t believe it but maybe she would one day.

“I love you, too, Dad,” she answered softly.

Did you ever love me
Did you ever love me

“I have to go now, but I’ll call you again. And we’ll talk right?” Robert said.

“Yeah, call me again and I promise to answer this time,” Robin replied.

These are
The confessions of a broken heart

When Robert Scorpio stepped out of the gate three months later to visit Robin, this time, they had the reunion he’d wanted. She flew into his arms and he picked her up off the ground and twirled in her in a circle before setting her back on her feet. “You look well rested,” he said. He touched her tanned face.

Robin bit her lip and glanced over her shoulder where Patrick waited for them. “I just came back from a weekend at Martha’s Vineyard.”

Robert narrowed his eyes. “Oh, really,” he remarked with deliberate irritation.

Because she’d secretly dreamed of how Robert would have treated Stone and Jason, Robin giggled. She’d always wanted to bring her boyfriend home to her father.

“I’m glad you came,” Robin said softly.

“I’m glad you called,” Robert answered. He kissed her forehead, picked up his duffle. “Let’s go meet Dr. Drake.”

I wait for the postman to bring me a letter