They say it’s what you make
I say it’s up to fate
It’s woven in my soul
I need to let you go
Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can’t escape this now
Unless you show me how
– Demons, Imagine Dragons

---

Thursday, September 8, 2005

Warehouse

Sonny stared at the gun in his hand, not entirely sure how it had come to this. How he could be standing in a room, pointing a gun at his best friend? At a man he’d considered his brother?

Didn’t it make sense? If Jason were gone, wouldn’t it be over?

“Sonny,” Jason said, his voice even. Calm. The same tone he always used. “You don’t want to do this.”

He didn’t, but he couldn’t quite make himself lower the gun. He’d changed his mind already, hadn’t he? “I came here,” Sonny said slowly, shaking his head slightly, trying to remember why he was standing here. Why the gun was pointed at Jason.

Jason had a gun, too. He had it in his hands, but the barrel faced the ground. Not at Sonny. Why couldn’t he think straight? “I came here,” he repeated. “Because this can’t keep happening.”

“I know that,” Jason said. “But we can stop it.”

“I can.” He remembered now. He remembered how this was supposed to happen. “I came here to get rid of you. Without you, I get my business back. I get my daughter. But—” Where had that gone? Why didn’t he feel like that anymore? “You weren’t in your office. Or any of the others.”

He’d gone into his own office, flipped on a light. Looked at the room where he’d made so many decisions, where he’d held the power.

And he had remembered.

“Elizabeth.”

Jason’s eyes sharpened slightly and the hands holding his gun raised just a little, maybe two inches. “What?” he demanded. “What about her?”

“I remembered her.” And that day she’d tried to save him. When she had convinced him he wasn’t okay. When she had convinced him he could be himself again. “I tried to be the man she thinks I was. I tried, Jason. I took pills.”

“I know you did.” Jason swallowed. “Sonny—”

“If I hurt you, if I killed you—” Sonny squinted. It had made so much sense before. He’d had an epiphany standing in his empty office, remembering that day in July when she’d come to him. Remembering all the other days she’d been there for him.

“I remembered how she was with Lucky,” Sonny continued. “She was like my mother; did I ever tell you that? Wrapped her life up in a man, couldn’t live without him. Turned herself inside out to keep him.”

“Sonny—”

“That’s what I thought that day in my office. That she looked like my mother. I wished my mother could have had her courage, her backbone.” He swallowed, remembering the woman who had raised him. “I’m like him.”

“Like—” Jason frowned, shook his head. “Who?”

“Deke.” The son of a bitch who broke his mother, who had killed her. Ruined everything. “I tried to be someone else. I tried to be better. I’m not. Carly.”

And now he remembered his wife, her tears. The look on her face as he’d thrown her across the room. The shatter of the mirror as her body had hit it. Then she’d slid to the floor, a cut on her face from the glass. He knew that look. That glazed primal fear.

“I hurt Carly. I broke her. If I—” His fingers flexed on the trigger as he struggled to ignore the small voice whispering in his ear. Pull it. Pull it. It all goes away. “If I do this, I break Elizabeth. Like I did Carly. Like Deke did to my mother. I can’t—” He swallowed. “I can’t do that. I can’t live with myself.”

“Then put down the gun,” Jason said, his voice quiet but firm. “And we’ll talk about this. I know you think it would make it easier—”

“I couldn’t save my mother,” Sonny interrupted. He wasn’t listening to Jason—those words weren’t important. Just the conviction creeping past the insidious voice trying to convince him that it was better to pull the trigger. “I couldn’t save Carly.”

“She’s okay, Sonny. She’s at the hospital—”

“I couldn’t help them,” Sonny whispered. “But I can help Elizabeth. The way she did for me. I can do that. I can be that man.”

“Sonny—”

“It has to be one of us.” Sonny looked at Jason, meeting his eyes. “We can’t keep doing this. It’s me or you, Jason. And it can’t be you.”

“Sonny—” Jason stepped forward, but Sonny had already changed the angle of the gun.

With the cool metal touching his temple, Sonny closed his eyes. It had to be him. It was the only way to make it all stop.

The gunshot was deafening, echoing into the room as the sound bounced against the walls before disappearing through the open roof.

A searing pain speared through Sonny’s hand as he sprawled to the ground, his gun flying across the room. He laid on his side, clutching his hand, watching almost with disinterest as one of his fingers seemed to just be…gone.

Voices—shouting—he could hear it from far away, but the only thing he could really bring into focus was Jason as he knelt next to Sonny.

“It should have been over,” Sonny managed, the pain traveling up his arm, spreading into his chest. He closed his eyes again. “It should have been over.”

“It will be,” he thought he heard Jason say, but he was already surrendering to the sweet darkness beckoning him.

Estate: Nursery

“Really, Miss Webber,” Nora said with a smile, her eyes a bit tired. “I’m feeling so much better, you know? I wasn’t hurt that much—”

“You had a concussion,” Elizabeth cut in. “Nora—”

“You don’t have to tip toe around me.” Nora lifted Evie into her arms and accepted a fierce hug and kiss from the toddler who’d recently discovered people liked it when she did that. “I took a job with Jason Morgan. I take Denny and Lyle with me every time I leave the house with the kids—”

“Knowing and actually going through what happened are two different things,” Elizabeth said, folding her arms. She waited for Nora to set Evie back on her unsteady feet. Evie dropped into a crawl and scampered to the tower of blocks Cameron was building.

“Yeah.” Nora exhaled slowly. “It was scary. We were just—we were packing and Lyle was upstairs with us. The kids were playing just like they are now. I knew things were tense—I heard fighting downstairs and I—” She blinked. “I was terrified, to be honest. I was going to take the kids and take them into the closet with me—I was going to keep them quiet, to try and protect them—and then Lyle was shot and—”

Elizabeth put a hand on the younger woman’s shoulder. “I know you protected them, and God, it means the world to me.”

“They always tell you not to get attached, you know?” Nora bit her lip. “As a nanny. I mean, they’re not my kids, and when they go off to school, you won’t need a full-time nanny, which is fine, but—” She dipped her head. “I’ve been with Evie since the beginning almost, and I love her. And Cam is so much fun—we’re in a routine and they’re almost really like brother and sister, like they’ve always been…” She looked away, toward the kids, and smiled. “It was scary, but we’re okay. And I know Mr. Morgan will protect us. To be honest, if I’m with the kids, with the guards, I’m probably safer than I would be crossing the street.”

“Yeah, you’re not wrong there.”  The mob didn’t have a monopoly on danger and violence. “All right,” Elizabeth said. “I’m going to check on Nadine—” Her phone rang then and her heart skipped a beat when she saw the name on the caller screen. “I’ll be back.”

She hurried down the hall, answering the phone as she did. “Jason? Oh my God, are you okay?”

“Yeah.” His voice was quiet. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

She went into the master bedroom, closing the door behind her. “What happened?”

“Uh.” There was a long pause. “We…we got Sonny. He’s…he’s in the psych ward here at the hospital.”

She sat down hard on the bed, unsure what to say next. She really hadn’t expected to hear those words. Sonny was at the hospital. Which meant he was alive. “What does that mean? Jason—”

“I can’t…” He paused again, and she could hear the fatigue in his voice, the weariness. “He tried to—he tried to kill himself. It was—he had a fight with Carly, and he—he hit her. We just got to the hospital—they’re still waiting to talk to me about—” He stopped talking to her, and she could hear faint voices in the background. After another moment, he returned to her. “He’s under lock and key, Elizabeth. For now. They’re holding him for seventy-two hours. I’m not sure what’s going to happen after that.”

She closed her eyes. “But he’s talking to doctors—”

“Yeah, and he’s being held because he’s a danger to himself and others. I think—” He stopped again, and she could again hear faint conversation on his side of the line. Finally, he said, “I’d like you and the kids to stay out there until the seventy-two hours pass. Until I know what happens next—”

“And I guess you won’t be coming out here,” she murmured.

“I—”

“It’s fine, Jason. You’re right. It’s safer to stay where we’re out of the way.” She leaned against the bedroom door. “The kids miss you. Cam asked for you last night.”

“I miss them, too. I wish—” But he stopped and she could almost see him shaking his head, standing in a hallway at the hospital. “This is going to be over. One way or another. If they release him, Elizabeth, I promise—”

“I know.” She sighed, closing her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

She slid the phone back in her pocket, bit her lip, and then went downstairs.

Bernie was by himself in the office, murmuring to himself as he made a notation before going back to the computer and squinting. He looked up at her entrance and offered her a warm smile. “Miss Webber—”

“Have you heard from Jason or anyone in Port Charles?” she asked. She sat in a chair in front of the desk, twisting her fingers in her lap.

“I have. Jason called a bit ago, and I think he was going to call you next.” Bernie set his pen aside. “It’s good news, don’t you think?”

“I guess.” She looked down at her fingers, at the ring Jason had given her all those weeks ago. “Is it wrong that—” She sank her teeth into her bottom lip so hard she tasted blood. “God, Bernie, this sounds so horrible—”

“You’re not exactly relieved to learn that Sonny is in the hospital and alive,” the older man said gently. “After what happened to you, to your children, knowing everything you do about the situation—I’m not sure anyone could blame you.”

“I mean, it’s the better outcome,” Elizabeth said. She raised her eyes and looked past Bernie to the trees in the yard, focusing on the brilliants reds and orange of the coming autumn. “Jason doesn’t have to live with himself, and I wouldn’t wish it on him.”

Bernie looked at her lap, watched her twist her ring again and again. “Miss Webber—”

“Please, please—” She closed her eyes. “Call me Elizabeth. We’ve been shot at together, I know Jason left you and Tommy here for added protection.”

“Elizabeth,” Bernie said again. “We all respect you. We know how you’ve stood by Jason, and to be frank, many of the men who work with Jason were relieved by your presence. Your relationship with him, the children—they forced him to take control when in the past—”

“He’s patched Sonny up for the next time.” She nodded. “This isn’t me having doubts, Bernie. Not about Jason. It’s just—” She sighed and tilted her head up to look at the ceiling. “I think I really expected something final. A resolution that felt like the answer to our problem, and God, that’s so selfish of me. To wish that the man I love more than anything killed a man I know to be ill, to have a mental illness. But I’ve talked to Nora, and I saw the bullet wound Lyle’s recovering from. I can’t ignore what he did. I should. Because I know it wasn’t him—”

“It was the worst part of him,” Bernie corrected gently. “My brother and I have worked for Sonny for many years, and before him, Frank Smith. I watched him come up in this business and I’ve found a lot to respect about him. But he’s always had the capability to be cruel and violent. He’s no different than the other men who work with us. Not in that respect. But Sonny had honor. And he had a code.  Whatever is in his head—the man who sent armed thugs to take Evangeline by force—that man is inside of Sonny. He always has been.”

“I’m scared,” Elizabeth murmured, “that Sonny might find another treatment that works for a little while, and Jason’s loyalty will make him forget that—”

“—and put him back in charge. The way he always has.” Bernie nodded. “I can’t tell you that won’t happen or that Jason won’t consider it. I just—I don’t know. You know Jason—”

“He’s not one for opening up.” Elizabeth sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Thanks, Bernie. I think I just—I needed to let myself…admit how scared I am that this isn’t the end. Because it’s something Jason and I need to discuss.”

Bernie looked as though he wanted to add something, but Tommy strode in then, followed by another guard leaving Elizabeth to excuse herself quietly.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

General Hospital: Carly’s Room

She couldn’t quite focus on the woman standing in her hospital room explaining Sonny’s course of treatment. Lainey Winters had been speaking for several minutes, she could hear her sister-in-law responding, even asking questions

But Carly couldn’t quite lift her head to look at the doctor. Couldn’t quite make herself focus. Hadn’t been able to in days. She would be released from the hospital this afternoon, but she didn’t think she’d leave.

This room, this bed—this was safe. Jason had a man on the door. No one could come in.

“Carly?” Courtney’s soft voice drifted into the haze. “Do you have any questions for Dr. Winters?”

Carly turned her head, blinking at Courtney before looking at the pretty young woman with the sober eyes standing at the foot of her bed. “Could I have stopped it?”

“Mrs. Corinthos…” Lainey Winters bit her lip. “I don’t think that’s a productive—”

“I knew he had dark moods,” Carly continued forcing the words through her raspy voice. “I knew it was getting worse. Could I have stopped it?”

“It’s hard to say…” She paused. “Maybe you could have reached out to health care professionals, but to be honest, Mrs. Corinthos? Based on my meetings with your husband so far, I don’t think he would have agreed to see us. To take any of this seriously unless he’d had a break. Until he had no choice.”

Carly closed her eyes. “I couldn’t have stopped it, then. But maybe…” A tear slid down her cheek, chilling the skin as it slid down to her jaw. “Maybe I still should have left.”

“Carly,” Courtney murmured. “You did the best you could.”

“Yeah…” She turned her head back. “And maybe if we both say that enough, we’ll believe it.”

“Mrs. Corinthos,” Lainey said, her voice closer and…kind? Carly opened her eyes to find the doctor perched at her bedside, her eyes open, warm. “Family members are often in the line of fire. You cannot force someone to get help. Not unless they present a clear and present danger. And walking away, leaving—is often just as difficult. When your sister-in-law says you likely did the best you could, I don’t think she’s being facetious.”

“Maybe.” Carly could feel her jaw tremble. “But she wasn’t there every day. I did things. And I made choices that were calculated. Maybe I couldn’t have stopped it, I’m willing to concede that. But I made it worse. I thought about myself.”

“Carly—”

“No!” Carly fisted her hand against the white blanket. “I told myself it was about making Sonny better. If he had Evie, if Jason would fix it, if he would just save the day—then Sonny would be okay. But that was a lie and I knew it then. I wanted my life to be okay. I tried to give him another child to preserve my life, not his.”

Lainey drew a card from her clipboard. “I know you might now agree, but I think you should consider talking to someone. Sonny didn’t go through this alone. You and your boys did as well.”

When Carly didn’t reach for the card, Courtney did. “I think that sounds like a good idea. Thanks, Dr. Winters.” The woman nodded and left the room.

“You heard Dr. Winters, didn’t you?” Courtney asked. “Sonny will be in Shadybrooke for a while. You should come with me to New York. With the boys. A fresh start—”

“You don’t even like me,” Carly said sullenly. She closed eyes, trying to drift away, trying to return the haze, but Courtney wasn’t having it.

“You think you made it worse?” Sonny’s sister demanded. “I knew what was going on. I knew Sonny was in a difficult place, I knew Jason was lying about Evie. I knew you and Sonny were torturing each other. But I left. I ran away and left it to you and Jason. I abandoned my brother when I should have stuck. You’re not the only one who feels guilty, Carly. I should have stuck by you, by my family.”

“So, now you want to make yourself feel better?” Carly retorted. She took a deep breath. This wasn’t helping. “I’m sorry.”

“Look, maybe we don’t like each other all that much,” Courtney admitted. “But this last year—these last two years have been stressful. Difficult. I think we both deserve a chance to do better. To be better. I love my nephews. I think they need a fresh start. If it doesn’t work out, then fine.” She squeezed Carly’s hand. “Like it or not, we’re family. I didn’t do right by my brother. Please.”

“Okay.” Carly nodded. “I can’t—I don’t want to be in Port Charles anymore, so maybe…you’re right. The boys and I could be okay in New York. Thank you.”

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Hardy House: Living Room

Elizabeth stepped inside her home with Evie in her arms. She moved to one side as Cameron came barreling in, a laughing Nora following and Denny, Lyle, Milo, and Cody holding up the rear.

She hadn’t seen the wreckage—hadn’t seen the remnants of the fight, of the violence that had nearly seen the little girl in her arms lost to her. Despite Cody’s assurances, she’d been bracing herself to see her grandmother’s home in disarray.

“It looks the same,” she murmured as she sat Evie down—the squirming baby immediately crawling after her brother. She barely saw as Denny and Lyle started to help Nora up the stairs with their meager luggage, as Milo moved to take up position outside. “I thought—”

“With you coming back today, Jason wanted to make sure you…” Cody hesitated. “Well, that everything was okay. He wanted to be here—”

“I talked to him before I left the estate,” she murmured, stepping down into the living room. She drew off her light coat and set it on the sofa. “They’re moving Sonny to Shadybrooke today and he wanted to be there to make sure the paperwork was signed.” Sonny had agreed to commit himself after the seventy-two-hour hold, but there was always a chance it would fall through.

Jason hadn’t even given her the go ahead to come home until two hours earlier—he’d been worried it would fall apart at the end. She’d been horribly jealous when Johnny Zacchara had shown up at the estate the day before and Nadine had been allowed to leave. To return the world.

But she was home now. All of that was behind her.

“I’ll be outside with Milo if you need anything,” Cody began, but Milo opened the door, revealing Nikolas Cassadine on her front porch.

“Nikolas!” Elizabeth smiled, genuinely pleased at the first normal face she’d seen in days. When he embraced her tightly, she let herself relax for a moment, knowing that with him, she didn’t have to put on a facade, didn’t have to pretend.

“We’ll be outside, Ms. Webber,” Cody said.

“I know Emily said you were okay,” Nikolas said, drawing back and kissing her forehead, “but you’ll forgive me if I couldn’t let myself believe it until I could see you.”

“I know, I’m so glad to be home.” They sat on the sofa and Elizabeth kicked off her shoes. “Emily is trying to get tomorrow off so she can come over, and my brother is hoping to come by after his shift.”

“But you and the kids are okay?” Nikolas asked, squeezing her hand. “I don’t have to tell you how worried we were—”

“We’re okay.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “And I think it’s going to be okay moving forward. Sonny’s…he’s going to be in Shadybrooke until the doctors let him out.”

“And after?” Nikolas prompted, his eyes dark with concern.

“We haven’t ironed everything out yet—”

“Elizabeth—” The exasperation in his tone wasn’t particularly surprising, but she tensed anyway. “They might release Sonny in a week. A month. As soon as his medication is working. And then what? Do you know how often mentally ill people stop taking—”

“Nikolas…” She took his hands in hers. “There’s nothing you’re saying that I’m not thinking. That I haven’t considered.  I don’t have the answers. I just know my children and I can’t stay locked away forever.  What happens when Sonny is released—Jason and I will cross that bridge when we come it.” She bit her lip. “When I first heard that Sonny was in the psych ward—that Jason had stopped him from killing himself, I wanted to scream. Because it could have been over. Definitely. Without reservation.”

“Exactly—”

“And I know that Jason wouldn’t blame me for feeling that way initially.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “But having Sonny dead, having it be either Jason do it or stand by while Sonny killed himself—the man I love would have had to live with that for the rest of his life—our lives. You know the burden of having someone in your family that others wish dead—” She offered a wry smile. “And yet, your grandmother keeps breathing.”

“You’re not playing fair when you involve the Cassadine crazy.” Nikolas waited a moment. “I just—I worry, Elizabeth. It’s who I am.” He took a deep breath. “Okay. I’ll try not to harass you—”

“Hey, I need someone who will call me out.” She squeezed his hands. “We used to be that for each other. Before it all got messed up. I will never resent you for worrying about me, about my family. I only get annoyed when you don’t accept my decisions. I love Jason, and yes—what happened this week was terrifying and I had to reexamine my choices again. Do you think Jason hasn’t tried to give me an out? That he didn’t try to pull away?”

She hesitated. “But I know what I’m getting myself into. Even better now. There are dangers, yes. I rationalize it by saying that life isn’t really all that safe. Maybe I’m increasing the odds, I don’t know. I can’t know that.”

“Elizabeth—”

“But I’ve tried it the other way. I’ve left him. I’ve built lives with other men, and you know what? Here I am again. I have a responsibility to myself and to my son to give him a good family. To be the best mother I know how to be. And I think Jason and I are better together than we are apart.”

“You sound very sure.” Nikolas tilted his head. “I can remember when you would tell me you loved Lucky. That you were committed to that life, to that dream and I don’t think I realized until now that you were trying to convince yourself, too. Because I can hear the difference now.” He laughed. “When you came home last year, that day you found Jason on the docks—Emily came to me. She was sure that this was the future—that it should be.”

“Yeah, she wasn’t that subtle.” Elizabeth snorted. “Opportunity creator, she called herself.”

“But she was.” Nikolas rose to his feet and Elizabeth followed suit. “She just made sure you and Jason were in the same room together, because she saw what I ignored for so long. What you and Jason tried to forget. Some things…the best things…they’re just meant to be.”

Hardy House: Elizabeth’s Bedroom

It wasn’t that late when Jason finally managed to return to the house—but it was past dinner and the time Evie and Cam would be fast asleep in their cribs, so he went straight upstairs.

It was the first time he’d been back in the house since Wednesday, and it was hard for him to walk down the hall, to look at the door to the kids’ bedroom, remembering the last time he’d stood in this position.

A man had been rushing towards him, a screaming Evie in his arms. There had been shouting—he’d arrived to the sound of gunshots from the upstairs.

If he had been even a minute later—

“Jason?”

He looked to the right, to the doorway where Elizabeth stood, swathed in blue silk that looked flimsy to his tired eyes, and held up by thin, nearly invisible straps. She reached out a hand to him, and he took it, drawing her into a tight embrace. He hadn’t seen her since that day—since he’d left to meet with Anthony Zacchara, and part of him hadn’t expected to ever look at her again. To hold her, to feel her skin warm beneath his.

“Hey,” he murmured into her hair. “I’m sorry I wasn’t home earlier—”

“It’s okay, you called.” She drew away, framing his face with her hands, her skin warm against his cheeks. “I wish you’d tell me what happened that day—”

Jason shook his head. He didn’t want to think about any of that anymore. He wouldn’t. There was still some clean up to be dealt with, some issues to be resolved, but for all intents and purposes—the crisis had passed.

And she was still here, their children asleep down the hall.

“I don’t want to talk about any of that,” he told her softly, backing her slowly into her bedroom and closing the door behind them. “Or anything at all.”

He took her hands in his, lacing his fingers with hers before pinning them behind her own back. He kissed her, her lips soft and open at his touch. He wanted to be in this moment, to drink it in, to immerse himself into her taste, her scent, her soft skin.

When she tugged slightly at his grip on her wrists, he released her hands. She reached for the hem of his shirt, her breathing shallow and coming faster. “I’ve missed you,” Elizabeth murmured as she dragged the fabric up and over his head, tossing it behind her.

He hooked his fingers under those flimsy straps and slid them down her warm shoulders. “Elizabeth—”

She shook her head, offering him a wicked smile. “Don’t tell me,” she murmured, pressing her lips under his jaw. “Show me.”

---

 

“Did you go to Shadybrooke with Sonny?” she asked, her voice drawing him back from a light doze. The moonlight drifted through the window, touching her bare shoulders as she propped her head up on an elbow, her eyes still in shadows.

“Yeah.” He slid a hand under his head, looking up at the ceiling. “I wanted to make sure the room—that it was big. And I wanted them to use some of the furniture from the penthouse so he’d feel more comfortable.” What pieces that hadn’t been destroyed. “The doctor thought it might help.” He looked at her. “I met with him. He was…he was better.”

“Yeah?” Her finger lightly traced a pattern on his chest. “The new medication is helping?”

“So far. He was lucid. Like when he came home from New York that first time.” He hesitated. “But I’m not…I don’t trust it. I can’t trust it.”

“Jason—”

“I’m glad he’s going to get better. For his sake. For Michael and Morgan. And maybe one day, he can have a relationship with Evie.”

“Okay—”

“But I can’t ever put him in charge again. I can’t risk it.” He exhaled slowly. “This—this is going to be permanent, Elizabeth. I’m going to stay in charge. I know it might have started as a temporary—”

She brushed her lips against his. “I never thought that, Jason. And I know you didn’t either. Even if Sonny were cured, he wouldn’t get back the loyalty. The respect. He’d have to use terror and fear to make people follow him. Like Anthony Zacchara. He wouldn’t want that. And you don’t.” Elizabeth tucked her head in crook of his shoulder. “So what happens after he’s released from Shadybrooke?”

“He’s thinking of going to the island for a while. Of running the casino there. With a doctor.” He closed his eyes, turning his head slightly so his lips rested against her hair. “I don’t know. Whatever he does, it won’t be here.”

“Okay.”

“I—I wish I had done something,” he admitted. He opened his eyes, looking out into the darkness of the room. “Years ago. When it started. If we had…”

“You know better, Jason.” She raised her head slightly. “You can’t think about what ifs. We all could have done a thousand things differently. We didn’t.”

“I know. I know that. I—” He hesitated. “He was angry at first. When he woke in the hospital. Because I stopped him from killing himself. He wanted to die. To make it stop.”

“Jason…” Elizabeth looked down, looking at her hand on his chest. “At first, part of me wished that you had. Because, God, it would be easier. And I’m sorry for that. And I’m sorry you were ever in that position.”

“I couldn’t—”

“If you had,” she cut in, her voice hushed but forceful. “We both would have had to live with it. If you had, we both know it wouldn’t have been for him, it would have been for us. To make our lives easier. And I think it might have destroyed us in the end. I’m glad you’ve given him this second chance.  Letting him pull that trigger? Letting him end it—” She shook her head. “That’s not who you are, and it’s not the man I love.”

He said nothing, because he didn’t know what to say to her. Her unconditional support, her belief in him—there were no words to tell her what it meant to him to know that she accepted him, had understood his choice—

“We’re going to help Sonny rebuild his life because that’s who we are,” Elizabeth continued. “We’re going to raise Evie to know Sonny, to know about Sam. And we’re going to do it together. You did the right thing, Jason. The best thing. I don’t know that anyone else would have. Or could have. I am so proud to be a part of your life, to raise my son with you.”

“Elizabeth—”

“It’s over,” she told him gently. “The worst of it. That’s the first time I’ve said it and truly believed it. We made it to the other side.”

He rolled over, tucking her beneath him so he could look in her eyes. “I love you,” Jason told her, hoping she would hear everything in those words that he could never quite manage to say. Everything that those words could never possibly encompass.

“I love you, too,” she murmured. Elizabeth laced her fingers in his hair and drew him down to her.

THE END

---

So here we are at the end. Nearly twelve years since I thought about what would happen if Sam died and Jason ended up with her daughter. Two years since I started actually writing it.

It’s been an amazing journey, and I’ve really tested myself by telling this story from Jason and Sonny’s POV more than Elizabeth. I tried to make Sonny sympathetic, tried to make Courtney and Carly interesting characters you could sympathize with. I had initially planned to have Jason kill Sonny, but for me, this ending works better.

Thank you for your patience as I wrote this. I couldn’t have done this without your support, without Cora’s great feedback.

I’m not sure where I go from here. I’ve started graduate school this semester and haven’t quite worked out the balance of work yet, so I’ll keep you posted. Sign up at my site (linked in my profile if you’re reading this at Fanfiction.net) for updates on what’s to come.

If you’ve read this story at any point, if you’ve followed for the last two years, please drop me a line to let me know what you think after all of this.

<3 Melissa

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
Just a little insight won’t make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight
– It Ends Tonight, All-American Rejects

---

Thursday, September 8, 2005

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

Nothing was going right. Nothing was going the way he had planned.

“Where’s my daughter?” he demanded of the man standing in front of him—this moron, this useless piece of trash that he’d depended on.

The man—what the fuck was his name? Fuck it, it didn’t matter. He was a number. A piece of flesh. One as useless as the next. No one could get him results. His fucking kid should be back where she belonged—where she should have been the moment her whore of a mother took her last breath.

“The team we sent to get her ran into a few issues,” the man—Ricky? Diego? Oscar?— replied. Was he smirking? Was this bastard standing in his living room, smirking at him? Who the fuck did he think he was talking to?

“Two days ago?” Sonny demanded. He’d woken this morning and looked at a newspaper—he’d been startled to learn it was Thursday. Hadn’t it just been Tuesday? Hadn’t he just left the hospital? He’d thought…he’d lost track of time, was all. He had a lot on his mind.

“Morgan’s gone underground,” RickyDiegoOscar told him. “And taken the woman and children with him. We’re looking, but we should shift our focus—”

“I want my kid back,” Sonny said, his teeth clenched, his jaw aching. Why couldn’t anyone fucking understand how it worked? Once he had Evie, once he had physical possession, Jason would crawl out of the fucking ground and he’d deal then. That’s how it had to happen.

“Let me take this,” RickyDiegoOscar told him, already removing his ringing cell phone from the inside of his suit jacket. He stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him.

And something clicked in Sonny’s head then. He could remember now—watching this fucker step in and out of the penthouse on phone calls. He was one of the men Hector Ruiz had loaned him when Sonny’s own crew had betrayed him.

If he and Ruiz were on the same wave length—if they were after the same goal—then why the hell did this son of a bitch need to take his calls in private?

Sonny stepped closer to the door, knowing that no one but he and Jason knew that this door—this one door was thinner than it was supposed to be. After the man on the door before Max had betrayed them to Alcazar, Sonny had wanted closer supervision. Had wanted to be sure no one could step out and do exactly what this shithead was doing.

“Yeah, Boss? Sorry about the delay. We have a few leads, we’re hoping to put the kid on a plane tonight.” Another long pause before he spoke again. “What about Zacchara? Yeah? When he’s coming around? That doesn’t give us much—okay, okay. I hear ya. Yeah. Got it.”

Sonny stumbled back from door, his pulse racing, his head aching. He couldn’t focus. Couldn’t put the puzzle pieces together. Ruiz was supposed to get Evie back so Sonny could negotiate from a place of power. He’d promised Ruiz access to the territory, a cut on the tariffs Sonny usually imposed. But—he swallowed. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. She shouldn’t be on a plane anywhere except—

Oh, God.

RickyDiegoOscar stepped back inside and strode past Sonny without looking at him, without speaking. Fucking dismissing him. “Senor Ruiz has informed me the deal is off.” He picked up a bag from near the coffee table. “I’ll be returning to Miami, and if I were you, Corinthos, I’d clear out. Morgan made a deal with Anthony Zacchara.”

“A deal with…” Sonny grabbed his arm. “What the hell are you talking about? Ruiz is supposed to get me my daughter so I can get my territory back—”

“You’re a fucking lunatic—” He shook off Sonny’s arm and sneered at him. “I had orders to put your kid on a plane so Ruiz could deal with Morgan directly. Did you really think you could come to us from a sign of strength? Your own men turned on you, your partner fucked your woman and who the hell knows who the brat belongs to? You’re nothing, Corinthos. You’re the only one who doesn’t seem to know it.”

And he was gone before Sonny could even digest half of what he’d said. Evie to Miami? What…

He stumbled up the stairs. He needed Carly. Carly had stood by him. She came with him to the hospital, had come back to the penthouse. She hadn’t left him. She was the only one who’d stuck.

He heard her voice before he flung the master bedroom open. It wasn’t until she spun around, the cell sliding from her hand to fall silently against the plush carpet that he even registered the words she’d been saying.

“Jason, he’s still planning to come after the kids. Are they safe?”

His mind went blank as he stared at the phone at the ground, the small screen clearly showing the name Jason Morgan. He raised his foot and stomped on it again and again, feeling delicious pleasure in hearing plastic snap.

“Sonny, wait—” His wife’s terrified cries broke into the cloud of pleasure. He looked at her then as she backed away from him and started to slide to the door.

She’d betrayed him. They’d all turned their backs on him. Didn’t they know who the fuck he was? He was Sonny GODDAMN Corinthos, and it was time they started to show him the respect he damned well deserved.

“Sonny—” Carly began, but he didn’t hear her. He couldn’t hear her. He was done listening to her lies, to her poison.

Warehouse: Conference Room

Jason swallowed hard as the connection went dead. He’d barely had a moment to speak to Carly, to assess the situation and figure out how to get her out of there before the interruption.

“Jase?” Johnny O’Brien said. “What happened?”

“She—” Jason set his phone down. “She was interrupted.” Damn it. If Sonny had overheard her calling, reporting in—

Carly had called him for the first time the day before as he driven back from a tense but successful meeting in Crimson Pointe. She’d been frantic for hours, worried about her boys, about Jason and his family—but Sonny had locked her in their penthouse—confined her to the upstairs while men came and went.

She had told him that she wasn’t sure what was going on, but that Sonny was worse than ever. He was losing track of time, losing track of hours and days. His moods were swinging back and forth violently—she knew that glass shattering was a common sound now, she’d even heard the thudding and snapping of wood. She couldn’t imagine what was left of their furniture. The terror had bled through her words, but he’d been powerless in the moment to make it stop.

Jason had assured Carly the boys were safe with Courtney—he’d spoken with his ex-wife and both boys just that morning. Evie and Cam were safe, so was Elizabeth. He was going to get Carly out just as soon as he could.

They’d been planning that for most of the morning—trying to design a lure to get Sonny out of the penthouse, knowing that if Anthony was successful with his threats to Hector Ruiz, the men should be clearing out of the building sometime today or tomorrow. But there wasn’t time to wait now.

“Interrupted how?” Max demanded. “Jason—”

“I don’t know. Do we have eyes and ears at Harborview?” He looked to Francis. “Can you find out what the hell is going on?” But he had to act. Carly had risked her life to warn him about Sonny—even if Jason had already known of the continued threat—she had still reached out to him.

But Francis’ phone was already ringing. He answered it, spoke briefly, then hung up. “Ruiz’s men have cleared out. And Sonny—Sonny just left the building. They put a tail on him—”

“But Sonny lost it.” Jason sighed, wishing that something would go his way. “He’s been ditching tails since he was a teenager. I guess he hasn’t lost his touch. Ah. Okay. Okay. Let’s…let’s try to track him down. Someone call Zacchara to confirm Ruiz’s men are clearing out permanently. Max, Johnny—”

“Let’s go check on Mrs. C,” Johnny said, getting to his feet.

Estate: Living Room

Elizabeth sighed and curled up on the sofa with the view out the large bay windows. It had been two days since Jason had left. Cody had arrived to take over security detail, and Tommy and Bernie were in and out of the office across the hall—but no one was keeping her in the loop and she knew better than to ask.

“I’m not sure if I’m cut out for this,” Nadine said from the other end of the sofa. She didn’t look away from the daytime soap on the television in front of her, though Elizabeth doubted she knew what she’d watched. Daytime television had been playing mindlessly since their arrival—Nadine wasn’t one for silence.

She thought she should say something to support Nadine, to make the other woman feel better, but she couldn’t. There weren’t any words she could dredge up at the moment to reassure herself, much less someone else.

“It’s easy to be strong,” Elizabeth said finally, “when the man you love is with you. You can look into their eyes; you can justify the sacrifice more easily when they’re in the room. When I’m with Jason, when we’re with the kids, I can tell myself this is a family worth fighting for. That Jason is the best father for my son, that I am the best mother for his daughter. That together, we’re going to raise two beautiful and amazing children. And maybe we’ll have more because Jason deserves that.”

“But when they’re gone,” Nadine said quietly, “when they’re missing, when you don’t know where they are, if they’re okay—”

“The doubts creep back in,” Elizabeth admitted. “I’m not proud of it. I’m not proud that I only feel strong when Jason’s here. That I’m only certain when he’s with me. I keep telling myself that it’s all worth it. That this is just a bump in the road. That we’ll get through this and come out on the other side.” She rubbed her face. “I walked into this with both eyes open, without any dishonesty, but I think—even after everything I’ve been there—I’m still naive about the men who lead this life.”

Nadine bit her lip. “I’m not sure Johnny is going to be able to stay out of his father’s business forever, which means I have a decision to make.” She looked at Elizabeth. “Are you changing your mind?”

“No,” Elizabeth said after a long pause. “No, I can’t—I’ve tried to be with other people. To live a different life. To be a different person. But I—”

She looked down at the ring on her finger, remembering the promise she’d made him, the pure joy she’d felt that night he’d asked her to marry him.

And she smiled.

“All roads have always led me back here. There’s no turning back. I’ve loved him since I was eighteen years old. That’s not going to change and I’ve stopped trying to make it.”

At the entrance to the room, Bernie cleared his throat. “Ms. Webber, Ms. Crowell—”

“Bernie,” Elizabeth said with exhaustion. “We’ve been shot at together. I think we can be upgraded to first name basis, don’t you?”

The older man flushed a bit. “Ah, yes, well, be that as it may—we thought you’d like to know. Johnny Zacchara called. The Ruiz family pulled their men today.”  He paused. “We haven’t…dealt with Sonny yet, so Jason—”

“He won’t be here until it’s over,” Elizabeth finished for him, but some of the tension coiled in her belly had dissipated. Sonny didn’t have armed men behind him—he was alone. This was better. Wasn’t it? “Okay. Okay. Thank you, Bernie.”

“I should be relieved, right?” Nadine said. “Johnny’s dad did what he was supposed to do. But—”

“Whatever’s happening is just going to get worse before it gets better,” Elizabeth murmured. “We’re just in the thick of it now.” She met Nadine’s troubled blue eyes. “No, I don’t think relief is the right emotion. Maybe—”

Sonny was alone now, likely feeling betrayed on all sides. Maybe dread would be the better answer, but that was something else better left unsaid.

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

The room was dark but they could see the remnants of the mini bar and the broken wood of the coffee table. The dining table and its chairs were strewn across the room. Though Sonny had often shattered the mini bar, the broken furniture was different. A new sign of rage that made Jason all too aware of the deafening quiet.

Just an hour ago, Carly had been speaking to him on the phone before she’d been caught.

They crept up the stairs and down the dim hallway, bypassing rooms Jason knew to belong to the boys, to the nanny before arriving at the master bedroom. With a glance behind him to be sure that the trio of guards were still with him, he gently pushed the ajar door.

The room was destroyed—clothes strewn from open drawers, the closet gaped open, the mirror of Carly’s vanity table shattered, the various powders, tubs and pots cracked and broken on the floor around it.

And in the corner, in the small space between the wall and night stand, a figure sat, her knees drawn up, forehead resting against them. The fingers that dug into her legs were scraped and bleeding, a thin line of blood seeped from a cut near her temple, her limp blonde hair was stained with blood.

Jason swore, tucked his gun back into the small of his back and rushed forward. “Carly!”

Her head snapped up, the fear in her eyes almost feral. “No! Stop! I won’t go! Don’t—”

Then her eyes focused as Jason knelt in front her, tilting her chin. “J-Jason?”

He checked the wound at her temple—a deep and nasty cut that looked worse than it likely was. There was another cut on her cheekbone and her fingernails were bitten down to the quick. Jesus Christ. “Carly. We need to get you out of here.”

“N-No, if I leave, if he finds out—” She closed her eyes. “No, I have to stay. He told me I can’t go. He’ll kill me if I go.”

“Holy shit,” he heard someone say behind him, but he didn’t look to see who.

“He’ll kill you if you stay,” Jason said, for the first time believing down to his depths that Sonny Corinthos had shattered inside—that what had made his former mentor the man he’d been had vanished somehow. “Carly—”

“I deserve this,” she said softly. “I did this.”

“No,” Jason said forcefully. He gently pulled her to her feet, leaning her slight weight against him. “No, you didn’t.” She may have exacerbated some of the issues—maybe she hadn’t been much help—but none of this was truly her fault. Not alone.

They’d all ignored the signs that Sonny’s issues weren’t just superficial—they’d spent years compensating for his problems, keeping them hidden. How many times that Jason rationalized Sonny’s dark moods? He’d learned how to use them, to work around them.

He’d never bothered to question their existence, to try to and resolve them. Carly had followed his lead. They both shared some of the blame for allowing Sonny to drift so close to the edge all those times without once learning how to keep the edge from appearing.

He motioned for Johnny to come forward. “Johnny is going to take you down to the car, okay?” he told Carly whose initial protest had dissipated. She leaned against the guard, her eyes closed, her face ashen. “I’m calling ahead to the hospital. As soon as they discharge you, I’ll send you to New York. To Courtney and the boys.”

“I tried to stop it,” she told him. “I was calling you. I was going to warn you, but he—” A tear slid down her cheek. “He caught me. He thought I was betraying him.” And then her eyes snapped into focus. “The kids, they’re safe? They’re okay? He was—”

“They’re safe,” he told her, touching her shoulder. “Elizabeth and the kids are safe.  Your boys are safe. Courtney and your mother are safe. Let me make sure you’re safe.”

“Okay.” She nodded. “Okay.”

Jason watched as Johnny gently led the broken blonde from the room. “Francis, I want someone with Carly at all times from now on.” He drew out his cell phone and dialed.

“Jason?” his mother’s voice, surprised and a bit worried came on the line. “Jason, oh, I’m so glad to hear from you. We’re so worried. We haven’t heard from you in days—there were gun shots at the house—”

“Everyone is okay,” Jason said, taking a moment to reassure a woman he knew cared for his family, for him. “I promise. I’m coming to the hospital with Carly. Can you—” he hesitated. “I know it’s not your area, but she needs someone—”

“I’ll meet you in the lobby,” Monica said. “Bobbie’s working today, should I call her with us? Is Carly okay?”

“No,” Jason said honestly. “No, but she will be. Thanks.”

General Hospital: Conference Room

“Hey,” Steven said as he entered the room. “You paged me here?”

“Yeah.” Emily faced him, twisting her fingers together. “Jason just called me. He brought Carly to see my mother and he wants to talk to us.”

Steven’s fatigued eyes sharpened. “It’s about damn time. The house was shot up two days ago, Elizabeth isn’t answering her phone—”

“I know, I know.” Emily sighed, pressing her hands to her face. “But we’d know if anything – if it was bad. The fact Jason has waited so long—”

“I wish I had your confidence,” he muttered, collapsing into one of the chairs. “I encouraged her to go for things with Jason. Was I wrong? Should I have told her to run?”

“Others have tried,” she said simply. “She’s tried. You don’t always get to choose the path you take in life. You can shape it, but you don’t pick it. She tried to live a different life, to love a different man. My brother’s life may not be safe, but—”

“When I saw her in California, after Cameron was born…” Steven dipped his head, focused on the table. “She wasn’t the little sister I remembered. She’d lost a piece of herself. I know she was better after therapy, because when she came home, she’d grown up so much.” He looked at Emily. “Ric, Lucky, the son of a bitch who raped her—they broke something inside. I guess I have to decide if that’s worse than the external danger Jason brings to the table.”

“Elizabeth is the only one that can answer that,” Emily said quietly, but she’d be lying to herself if she hadn’t asked herself that question. As much as she loved the idea of her best friend forming a family with her brother—could she live with herself if something happened to Elizabeth and the kids?

The door opened then, and Jason entered. He looked as tired as Steven did, his shoulders a bit slumped. “Emily—”

She rushed across the room to embrace him tightly. “I’ve been so worried since you sent the guards to the mansion, since I heard about the shooting at the house, at the warehouse—”

“Everyone is fine,” Jason told her. He drew back, rubbing her upper arms and looking at Steven. “The kids and Elizabeth are safe. I can’t tell you where they are until…” He stopped and took a deep breath. “Until I figure out how to keep them safe permanently.”

“Until Sonny Corinthos is no longer a threat,” Steven said evenly. “You promise me my sister is okay? That Cam and Evie are safe?”

“I do,” Jason said. “No one was hurt, but I need them out of the public eye for now.” He looked back at his sister. “Will you and Nikolas stay at the mansion until this is over? With my men and the security Edward has there, you should be safe. I don’t think you or Steven are in danger, but—”

“The guy can stay at the apartment,” Steven cut in. “I don’t want to be someone you worry about. Someone Elizabeth worries about. We should both be okay at the hospital.” Emily shot him a grateful look. Steven might not be on board with all of this, but he knew how be a team player when it mattered.

Jason took a deep breath and continued. “I talked to Monica and Alan to make sure things are good here. I’m satisfied with the security.”

“How’s Carly?” Emily asked. “Mom said she’d been hurt. Did—” she swallowed hard. “Did Sonny—”

“She tried to call me, to warn me Sonny was still planning something,” Jason admitted. He stepped away from her, letting his hands fall to his side. “He caught her while we were talking.  He—” He stopped, swallowing as if the words were stuck. “He hit her, he threw her into her vanity table—it’s mostly cuts and bruises. Bobbie’s with her now, and I’m having one of my men take her to New York where Courtney has the boys.”

“Jesus,” Steven murmured. “What the hell happened to him? I thought he had some sort of code—”

“A psychotic break,” Emily supplied when Jason had nothing to offer. “It happens sometimes with bipolar disorder. I talked to Lainey, and she said that one of the side effects of someone with a bipolar disorder being treated with anti-depressants is that it helps them remain level during the low points of the cycle, but when they’re going to have a manic episode—”

“It makes it worse,” Steven supplied.

“It amplifies everything that’s bad inside you, every flaw you have, and makes it the worst thing about you. Sonny’s always been paranoid, always sure someone’s coming after him—especially since Brenda.” Emily bit her lip, looking at her brother. “Jason, if you come across Sonny like this—”

“I know it might be bad. I know—” Jason looked away, the words unsaid but they all knew what action he was preparing himself for.

“You might still be able to reach him,” Emily said. “I’ve been trying to read about this—I want everyone to come out of this okay—”

“Emily—”

“And if okay isn’t an option,” she continued, “I’ll settle for alive. This isn’t Sonny’s fault. Not really. He isn’t himself, and I don’t want you to have to live with yourself if you have to—” She stopped. “Look, if it’s severe—which it clearly is—Lainey said the best thing you can do is to talk to him calmly, but don’t play along if he’s delusional. As soon as you find him, you need to call the authorities.” She fished in her lab coat for the card she’d been holding. “Lainey is ready for you to call. Sonny needs help.”

Jason accepted the card. “I can’t make any promises, Em—” His phone rang. He answered it, turning away from them. When he returned, the fatigue had disappeared, his shoulders were tight with tension. “I have to go.”

“Be careful.” She leaned up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Take care of yourself.”

She watched him go, conscious of the fact that it might be the last time she saw her beloved brother alive. “Em?” Steven asked, his hands on her shoulder. “How are you feeling? Should I call Nikolas?”

“I’m fine,” she murmured, pressing her hand to her abdomen, thinking about the child she was going to bring into this world. “We should get back to work.”

Warehouse: Offices

“He got here just after you left for the penthouse,” Francis told Jason as they walked from the back of the building towards the charred coffee storage rooms and packing areas. “We did what you wanted—we hung back, made sure he was alone. I don’t think he knew we were here.”

They stopped before the double doors into the primary storage room, a bit charred from the fire. Jason reached behind him and pulled his gun from his waistband, checking the ammunition. “What was his mood like?”

“He was rushing when he first arrived,” the other man answered. “Breathing hard, gun out—he went right for your offices. Looking for you, I would imagine. He was inside his office for a long time. I was going to call then—no one showed up to back him up. He’s been here almost an hour. Nothing.”

Francis caught his arm just as Jason started to ease the door open. “Jase, he was quiet when he came out, but you and I both know Sonny. Quiet isn’t always better. I think I prefer him in a pissed off rage.”

“Yeah.” Jason handed him the card his sister had given him. “You come in with me, but stay behind. I’ll give you a sign—you leave, you call this number and you tell this woman to send an ambulance.”

“Jase—”

“I don’t want to kill him,” Jason said, his throat tight. “I don’t. He’s sick. You know that, Francis. He’s always been paranoid, always been selfish, reckless. But he’s sick. And if there’s a chance—”

“No one wants this to go down like that,” the older man told him, his voice rough with a mixture of anger and despair. “We all came up under Sonny, we all promised him loyalty. But, God, do not make me go to that safe house and tell Elizabeth—”

“Francis—” Jason hesitated, before exhaling slowly. “Let’s just…let’s just get this over with.”

When the guard nodded, Jason eased the door open and crept into the large room, with its ceiling still a series of gaping holes, the only light coming from the fading streaks of sunlight as the day slid into twilight, wind rustling through.

Sonny was across the room, near the open door to the loading dock, sitting on a discarded crate. The light spilling in from the moon and the faint lights in the truck yard beyond the next room only revealed his presence—Jason couldn’t quite discern his facial expression.

His foot scuffled over a broken plank from the fire as Jason neared him. He stopped as Sonny started. The older man turned towards him, his face dimly lit by a shaft of moonlight. “Jason?”

His voice sounded weak, even tired. The anger that been so prevalent these last few weeks was absent. Had the psychotic break cleared? Had he returned to himself?

“Sonny…” Jason lowered his weapon, but didn’t put it away. If this was just a ploy, just an act—if something happened to him—Elizabeth and the kids would still be in danger.

“I hurt her,” Sonny said, his voice so weak it almost disappeared in the sounds of the lake behind them. “I never thought—”

“Who?” Jason asked, stopping roughly fifteen feet away, conscious that Francis still stood behind in the shadows where Sonny couldn’t see.  “Who did you hurt, Sonny?”

“Carly,” he sighed the word. “You ever step outside yourself, Jase? Rise above your body and watch yourself do things? Commit horrible acts? Say terrible things?”

“Is that what’s been happening to you, Sonny?” Jason asked. Be calm, Emily had told him. He could do that. He’d done that for years.

“I don’t know, maybe…” Sonny closed his eyes. “She wanted to leave.”

Jason frowned, stepped closer. “Sonny—”

Sonny raised the gun Jason hadn’t seen until then. Jason froze in his tracks as his former friend pointed the barrel at him, the aim at point-blank range. “But then I thought…maybe you should be the one to go.”

To escape a world so great
Close your eyes now
We float away
Close to the brink
Oh it’s so colorful
Don’t be scared
Just take my hand
– Tomorrowland (All Fall Down), Leon Else

---

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

General Hospital: Sonny’s Room

Carly perched on the edge of her chair, her hands gripping the arms so tightly her knuckles were bone-white and aching from the exertion. She wanted to get up, she wanted to leave.

She wanted to find her boys, get out of Port Charles, and maybe, at this point, never come back.

But the way to the door was blocked. One burly man she’d never seen before stood in front of the door while another stranger was helping Sonny stand and get into some clothing. It was on the tip of her tongue to protest—it had only been days since Sonny was shot—he shouldn’t be out of bed.

A darker thought slid through her mind, poisoning her ability to react. If Sonny died, this would stop. It would go away. And maybe it would be for the best.

“I’m checking out of the hospital, and we’re going back to the penthouse,” Sonny said, finally addressing his wife. His dark eyes met hers and there was nothing there. No sign of man she’d battled, loved, despised. He was empty. “Where are the boys?”

Carly rose to her feet. “They’re with your sister,” she said, forcing the words through a closed throat. “Sonny—”

“Good, good. You should tell her to take them to New York for a few days,” he continued. He slid into a suit jacket, grimacing as he did so.

“I can do that.” She hesitated. “I should go with them—”

“You’re coming back to the penthouse.” Sonny looked at her. “Where I can see you.”

This was the man she’d married, that she had sacrificed her self-respect for, destroyed her friendship with Jason for. She had never been scared of him before, never worried he might hurt her.

“Let’s go.” Sonny nodded at the man who’d helped him dress. “Make sure she gets there. Don’t make a scene.”

“Sonny—” Carly began, but the man advancing on her strangled any protest she might have made. There was no choice here, no chance for escape.

She had made her choice long ago, and there was no turning back.

An SUV

It was a twenty-minute ride from the Corinthos-Morgan warehouse to the estate Jason had bought on the outskirts of town, and for every one of those twenty minutes, Elizabeth bit her tongue and sat on her hands.

There was no word from the guards at the house, no word from Jason. And asking wouldn’t change that. Jason had segmented security for this very reason. Elizabeth’s guards would always keep her as a number one priority, while Cam and Evie were someone else’s top concern. She wanted it that way. She wanted Denny and Lyle to only be thinking about the babies.

“Elizabeth,” Nadine tried again. “Why—”

“Because they need to concentrate on the road, on making sure no one is following us,” Elizabeth said as they passed the last of the buildings in downtown Port Charles before the streets opened to the suburban sprawl on the outskirts of the city. “Once they call a lock down, there are no further attempts at communication until we reach our meeting place.”

And she understood that, she did. When Jason had described this to her only weeks ago, she’d thought it made sense.

Though at the moment, it was hard to remember why.

Nadine hands were trembling as they lay in her lap. “You sound like you’ve done this before. Is there some handbook I didn’t get?”

“Security is number one,” Elizabeth managed to force out, her eyes trained on the scenery outside her window. As soon as she could get into the house, she could find out what happened. She could make sure her babies were okay. She just had to wait. “We have two young children and a volatile situation on our hands. Jason and I have talked about security at length.”

All the talking in the world, all the experience in the world—it hadn’t prepared her for the sickening twisting in her belly, the conviction that no news was the worst news, that news of shots fired where her children were would only lead to heart break.

As they approached the wrought iron fence and the guard house at the edge of property, Elizabeth found herself—for the first time and only briefly—regretting the day she had ever met Jason Morgan.

Another SUV

“The kids are okay,” Johnny O’Brien was reassuring Jason from the front seat of the car as they sped down the road leading to the estate. “They’re in the car right behind us.”

Jason was trying not to think about Cam and Evie in the back seat, with their shell-shocked nanny, Denny, and Johnny Zacchara with Max Giambetti at the wheel. He was focused on the bleeding of Evie’s guard, Lyle.

He’d taken a bullet to the shoulder trying to keep Evie safe. Saving Jason’s family.  Jason had a towel pressed to the wound, relieved nothing dangerous appeared to be hit. This time.

He couldn’t stand how close they’d come this time—how much they’d nearly lost.

The car stopped by the guard house, and a newer guard stepped out. He looked in the car, and got the code word from Johnny. The gates opened, and the car sped up the drive to the portico entrance. The tires squealed as Johnny braked. Doors were thrown open, Jason and Johnny got Lyle out of the car just as the dark sedan with everyone else screeched to a halt, Max nearly clipping the first car.

There was a mad rush as everyone hurried inside, eager to be away from any eyes. They’d taken a circuitous route from downtown Port Charles to be sure no one could follow them, and at some point the car with the kids had been separated from them briefly. The two minutes before the cars met up again as the approached the house were the longest of Jason’s life.

He handed Lyle to Max, and watched as Tommy and Bernie rushed out of the house. Denny and Tommy took charge of the kids and Nora, but Jason didn’t go inside until he knew everyone was out of the cars and safe.

When he went through the entrance, he saw one of the medically trained guards stationed at the house examining Lyle’s gunshot wound, Bernie looking at Nora’s bruised cheek and calling for an ice pack.

And Elizabeth on the floor, embracing both of the children. When she saw him, she leapt up and ran to him. He swallowed her in his arms for just a moment—he couldn’t afford more than that. Until he’d seen Tommy and Bernie, he hadn’t been sure they’d arrived from the warehouse safely. He’d known there were shots fired—but he couldn’t be sure, couldn’t let himself believe Elizabeth had survived it unscathed.

Then he stepped back and leaned down to touch Cam’s face, to brush away the tears the toddler was sniffling. “You guys okay?” he asked Elizabeth, then looking again at Cam and Evie. There were no marks, no signs of injury anywhere.

“Looks like it,” Elizabeth managed. She picked Evie up, pressing her cheek to the top of the little girl’s dark hair, Cameron clinging to her black dress. She looked at Nora, then back at Jason. “What happened?”

He hesitated, looking back at the cluster of men, at Johnny Zacchara who was talking in low tones to Nadine across the room. He had to take a few moments to calm the children, to speak to Elizabeth. He also had to start making some sense of this disaster—he had to take action to fix it.

“Tommy, I need you and Bernie to get a hold of the other guys. Make sure things are okay on their front. Lift the lockdown, everyone’s safe and they need to get back to business to keep everyone calm.” He rubbed his head, then looked at Max and Johnny. “Not that I don’t trust Frankie, but can you get our doctor out here to look at Lyle?” To Nora, he asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she managed, pressing ice to her cheek, but her face was still pale, her pupils dilated.

“Denny, I need you to take Nora to her room and make sure she has anything she needs.” He picked Cameron up. “We’re taking the kids upstairs.”

Elizabeth silently followed him out of the living room into the foyer, then up the stairs.

Estate: Nursery

Elizabeth was relieved to see that Jason had reproduced the children’s nursery from the penthouse, down to the furniture and the types of toys they’d used. Familiar surroundings would help them feel safe, and already Evie was squirming to get down, to investigate the pack of stuffed animals in the corner.

Cam and Evie were released, and they both took off—Evie crawling frantically after the toddling Cameron. “Nora’s hurt,” Elizabeth said softly. “But the kids don’t have a scratch on them.”

She turned back to Jason, who looked as pale as Nora had downstairs. “They said there were shots fired at the house—”

“Nora was already packing for the kids,” Jason said, rubbing his neck. “She was upstairs with them, with Lyle, and Denny was downstairs, Cody was outside.”

Which made sense, Elizabeth thought. A guard for each floor, one outside. It was part of the security design.

“Six men burst through the door,” he said.

Six. “Two for each guard,” she murmured, her blood chilling. Because Sonny knew their security. Jason had created similar protocols for Michael and Morgan.

“And a seventh came in after the guards took on Denny and Lyle,” Jason continued, his eyes stark because he’d made that connection, too. “Max and Johnny came then—because I’d sent them to get the kids out sooner. They were trying to deal with the mess downstairs.”

“You came together,” Elizabeth said. “Did you—”

“I’d had a voicemail from Courtney. She’d seen men meeting with Sonny, going into his room. She was worried. She picked the boys up from the nanny and she took them to New York.” He sank onto the small sofa in the room, because he knew he’d have to tell her how close it had come, how precarious the safety of the children really was. “But Monica called after I’d picked up Johnny Zacchara. Sonny had checked himself out of the hospital, and she was concerned—men were with him she’d never seen before and she didn’t like the way they were…escorting Carly into the elevator.”

He clasped his hands between his knees and looked down at the carpet. “So we went to the house, and by that time—Lyle had taken a bullet to the shoulder, and Nora was unconscious on the floor. She’d tried to keep that seventh man from taking Evie, but he’d hit her. He was halfway down the stairs when I got there.”

“Oh, God—” Elizabeth closed her eyes. If Courtney hadn’t put Jason on his guard, if Monica hadn’t tipped them off—Evie might be gone to them, taken by men with guns. What assurance did they have that these men who worked for another family would even deliver her safely to Sonny?

And Sonny had sent men to their home, to the place where their children lived—men with guns, ready to kill to carry out their task.

“I got her away,” Jason said simply, and she knew he’d never tell her the rest. What he’d had to do to guarantee Evie’s safety. “Max, Johnny, and Denny overpowered the men that were left. We tied them up, put Nora and the kids in the car and left. We left Cody to deal with the cleanup.”

“Oh, God,” she repeated. She looked at the kids, to reassure herself that they were okay—Evie was climbing over a humongous pink and orange striped unicorn while Cameron had discovered the stack of blocks. “Oh, God.”

“I can’t—” He stopped, and her head snapped back at him when she heard his voice falter, even break. “I can’t protect them. I can’t protect you. I thought I could, but—”

“Jason—”

“I would send you away if I could figure out a place Sonny wouldn’t think to look,” he continued. “I’ll get Bernie working on that. We need a place out of the country or far away from Port Charles where I know you’ll be safe. This house—it’s not in my name—but Sonny has to know we have a safe house.”

And wasn’t that the real terror? There was little Jason could do that Sonny wouldn’t figure out. They’d worked together so closely—Sonny knew all of Jason’s tricks and secrets to keep people. He’d taught Jason some, had put them to work for himself.

“Whose name is it in?” Elizabeth asked. “How long before he thinks to look for it?”

“It’s in Jason Quartermaine’s name,” Jason finally said. “I’ve legally changed my name, but I can still go by my birth name on documents dealing in property. I’ve never used it before, Sonny might not think of it.” He rubbed his face. “But it’s not far away enough. Maybe somewhere in Europe, where Sonny doesn’t know the language. Germany. Poland. I can sign guardianship to you—”

“Jason—” She sank onto the sofa beside him, reaching for his hand. “You’re not talking about sending me away temporarily.”

“You didn’t sign up for this. They—” Jason looked up, watched the children giggling and laughing for a moment before continuing, “—deserve a better choice.”

She hesitated, knowing how important it was to be brutally honest with him in this moment. “I can see now that part of me honestly believed whatever Sonny might try to hurt you or me, he wouldn’t go after the children,” she said quietly. “I still believed in his honor, in his innate kindness. But this illness—this disease that’s inside him—it’s taken every flaw Sonny ever possessed and amplified it. He doesn’t see Evie as her own person, as a sweet little baby with shy smiles and a curious nature. He doesn’t know her. She’s property to him.”

“Elizabeth—”

“You should know there is a part of me that is tempted to tell you yes,” Elizabeth cut in. He looked at her then, his expression guarded, his mouth set in a tense line as if he were bracing himself for what was coming next. “Because it’s one thing to sign up for this on my own behalf. I love you, and I want the life we planned together. I’m willing to take that chance for myself. But it is another to sign the kids up for this, to sign Cam up for this.”

His shoulders slumped and he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I know—”

“But if I walk away now,” she interrupted. “If I give you back this ring…” She looked at her fingers where the gem rested. “What does that say about the promises I made? There’s nothing happening that we haven’t talked about. I’ve always known the danger involved here. I was there when Nikolas was shot for standing near you. I know what happened to Sonny’s first wife and child. We’ve known for weeks that Sonny was going to do something against Evie. We’ve done what we can to take protect them, and they’re safe. Look at them, Jason—”

“They almost weren’t,” he argued. “He had Evie, he was almost out of the house—”

“And that’s terrifying,” Elizabeth admitted. “Because I don’t know if I trust the men Sonny hired to take care of her. And I know it easily could have been Cam he’d taken in order to force you to surrender Evie. But I have to concentrate on what went right. Sonny doesn’t have our advantages—”

“Advantages—” Jason scoffed.

“If Courtney hadn’t taken the time to call you, if Monica hadn’t alerted you, Evie would be gone now,” Elizabeth told him. “We have friends and family on our side. There’s no one Sonny has left. He had to hire men to help him, and God knows what he’s promised them or the man they really work for. He doesn’t have the loyalty you do. Lyle took a bullet for Nora and the kids.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Next time, we don’t hesitate. We move the kids at the first sign of a threat.” She took both of his hands in hers. “I could take the kids and go to Germany. We could build a life there. And then I could be hit by a bus. One of us could get sick. There could be a car accident—” She swallowed. “It breaks my heart that Sonny has used everything he knows about you to go after the kids. That he’s exploiting the same security that protected his children. I know that’s not easy for you.”

“It’s not—” Jason hesitated. “That was our rule. The code we lived by. Other men had no honor—they went after women and children, but not us. He’s taken everything he taught me and destroyed it.”

“Well, that’s him. We’re choosing a different path.” Feeling a bit sturdier now, a bit more resolute, she rose to her feet. “We’re safe here for now. I’ll stay with the kids—you go downstairs and figure out what’s next.”

Estate: Office

“Cops are crawling over the warehouse,” Tommy reported when Jason entered the room, moving toward the desk. “The drive by was called in. Luckily, Francis got the message we left him and was on the scene. He’s at the PCPD, but we weren’t sure who to call for him.”

Francis had gone to the warehouse because Elizabeth and Nadine’s presence had necessitated Tommy and Bernie evacuating with them. They never could have gone to the safe house with only Milo for protection. While at times their security protocols could feel byzantine and the men Francis trained in them often groaned—Jason was relieved. They had built contingencies into contingencies, and today—they’d lost no lives. A bullet wound and a minor head injury—he could live with those.

They would take apart, at another time, what had gone wrong, but for now, they had to move forward.

“Call Diane,” he said, referring to the attorney who handled his custody issues. He’d noticed she had a penchant for designer clothes and shoes. “Tell her to draw up a retainer agreement and get Francis out of there. What about Cody?”

“Cody says things are clear at the house. What men we left alive have been picked up and moved elsewhere for questioning. So far, all we’ve gotten from them is information we’d already knew. They’re from Miami. They were to take Evie to Sonny, but we did find out—” Tommy hesitated and looked at Johnny O’Brien.

“They were going to put her on a plane to Miami, to Hector Ruiz,” Johnny admitted. ““They thought it would be easier to keep Sonny under their thumb.”

He couldn’t let that information terrify him, but he had to take a moment and swallow. “Okay. What about everyone else?”

“Running smoothly.  They hit the warehouse to slow you down,” Max said. “They had trailed you there, but apparently left before you did. They shot into your office and hit your house at the same time, I guess, figuring it wouldn’t be as heavily guarded. You had three men there, which slowed them down.”

Because though Sonny had sent two men for every guard they had, he hadn’t known the change in the security protocol. One man upstairs who had time to be on guard. To lock Nora and the kids in the room, which slowed them down even more. A man outside, which meant only a few men entered—

“We talked to your guys at the Harborview,” Bernie said, picking up the thread. “Sonny and Carly arrived—Carly hasn’t left the building. We contacted Courtney. They’ve just arrived at her place and we’re sending her two guards. The boys are safe. Bobbie has been informed, but we don’t see any danger to her with the boys gone. Sonny is still at the penthouse, for now.”

“Junior,” Johnny said, with his usual grimace, “has offered to broker a deal with Zacchara. Anthony hates the Ruiz family. He thinks Anthony will leap at the chance to take on Ruiz and Sonny, and Junior plans to make sure his daddy knows you saved his ass.”

He hadn’t though—Johnny Zacchara had rescued himself. They were just giving him safe passage out of town, but he supposed not telling Sonny much information about Nadine Crowell had allowed Johnny some security. If he wanted to play up Jason’s actions to his father as something a bit more heroic, it could only help them.

“I’ll go to Crimson Pointe and meet with Anthony and Trevor,” Jason said. “Tommy, Bernie, I want you to work out of this office. The warehouse is going to be off limits, and I don’t want too many people coming and going from here. Lyle and Milo are staying here with Elizabeth and the kids. Nadine can come with us if Junior wants, but I’ll suggest she stays here. Get Francis to send us one or two more guys.”

He looked at Max and Johnny. “I need you guy to get Diane on board and get Francis back to his guys. Get the warehouse secured, relieve Cody. I want him here with Elizabeth and the kids. I don’t want the kids have too many new faces.” He looked down for a moment, the events of the last few hours began to sink in.

“Jason, the men were loyal to you before,” Bernie said gently, “but after this? After Sonny went after the kids? There’s not a man in this organization who wouldn’t lay their lives down to protect your family.”

“I don’t want them to have to, but I appreciate it.” He rubbed his eyebrow lightly. “I need to tell Elizabeth I’m leaving. I—I won’t be back here until it’s resolved. I don’t think anyone trailed us here, but if I come and go—”

“It’s less safe. We can take care of things from here,” Bernie said.

Estate: Bedroom

Elizabeth stepped into the sparsely furnished master bedroom, intending to change from the dress she’d worn to her grandmother’s funeral that morning—then realized…

She likely had no clothes. There’d been no time to pack. She was stuck in this black dress until other arrangements could be made.

She sank onto the bed, the black stark against the beige comforter. Had she only buried her grandmother that morning? Had things changed so much just in a day?

The door opened, and Jason stepped over the threshold. “I stopped in the nursery and saw the kids are napping.”

“I fed them and we cuddled a bit on the sofa,” Elizabeth said. “They were both overdue for naps and conked out.” She raised the monitor in her hand. “I just wanted to change, but—”

Jason nodded and moved to the bureau. “I asked Max’s wife to do some shopping for you and the kids. I thought we might have to come here in a hurry, but—” He hesitated, then looked at her. “I should have told you it was a possibility, let you put some things here—”

Relieved, she crossed to him and tugged out a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. “Remind me to send her a very large Christmas present this year.” Elizabeth hesitated then. “You have to go, don’t you?”

“I do,” he confirmed, taking the change of clothes from her and tossing them on the bed. “I’m sorry, but—”

“There’s a lot of things to be done,” she cut in. She returned to the bed. “Can you talk to Steven and Emily? I don’t want them to worry.”

“I will.” He paused. “I’m going to Anthony Zacchara to get his help. And then I’ll be going back to Port Charles. But not here. I don’t want anyone to know you guys are here. The guards aren’t going to come and go, except Cody will be coming soon. The place is stocked with food. I tried to put some sort of studio in for you, but—”

“It’s safer if you don’t come back, I know.” But God, what if he didn’t come home? He was going to take on Sonny, and Sonny no longer cared enough to hold back. “Jason, I—”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen.” He leaned against the bureau. “I’ve made arrangements with Max and Johnny. I’ve talked to Diane. If anything happens to me—”

She wanted to stop him—she didn’t want to know, to prepare herself for the worst, but she knew he needed to get this out, to know she was safe. That the kids were.

So Elizabeth said nothing as Jason continued after a momentary pause, “I’ve left a will. Any property I have is to be dissolved unless you want to keep it. I divided everything in three. Cam and Evie have a trust, you’ll oversee it. I left guardianship for you. If something happens, Max and Johnny will come here, and they’ll take you somewhere. I don’t know where yet. Bernie’s working on getting property somewhere, but they’ll get you out of Port Charles. Cody, Milo, Denny, and Lyle are at the house now. They’ll stay with you guys until Tommy says it’s safe.”

She nodded, but she’d never doubted that he’d see to their safety, that he’d see the kids were taken care of. “Okay. I—I know how hard what you’re going to do is. That going against Sonny…” She stood. “And the last thing I want is for anything to happen to either of you. I don’t want this to be Sonny’s legacy. I know that with treatment, with medication, we can get some semblance of the man we both care about—we could get some of it back. But Jason?”

She stepped over to him and rested her hand against his chest, over his heart. “If it comes down to you or him, you come home to me. Do you understand?”

“Elizabeth—”

“The man you talk about, who took you in and gave you a purpose in life?” she continued. “He’d want you to come home to your family. To be with your children. And you know that Sonny would understand. As much as I want him to be well, to be a part of our lives, we can’t wait for it to happen that way. Whatever you have to do, you come home.”

He covered her hand with his, dipped his head, and took a deep breath. “I promise you,” he said, his voice low but steady, “that I will do whatever I have to do to keep you and the kids safe.”

Which wasn’t exactly the promise she’d wanted, but she knew it was the promise he felt comfortable making, so she nodded, lifted up on her toes and pressed her lips to his. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

And you feel like you’re still here bleeding
You bleed until there’s nothing left
It doesn’t seem to ever be enough for you
But leaves you empty in the end
And then you throw it all away
– Throw It All Away, Staind

---

 Tuesday, September 6, 2005

 Queen of Angels: Outside the Church

Thunder rumbled in the distance as the first few rain drops began to fall. Elizabeth leaned into Jason’s embrace as she and Steven said goodbye to the last of mourners as they rushed to the car to avoid the drizzle threatening to turn into an early autumn thunderstorm.

They had declined a reception or a wake, neither of them feeling up to mingling with the members of their own family. Sarah and their parents were already heading to the airport, eager to be on their way back to their lives.

“I can’t believe Mom and Dad didn’t even want to spend another day,” Steven murmured as he watched their car disappear around a corner. “They’ve barely met Cameron—”

“They’re not interested in the life I’ve made here,” Elizabeth murmured. She looked at her brother. “Are you stopping by the Brownstone? Bobbie and Felicia wanted to have a few friends over—”

But Steven shook his head, casting his eyes toward the cemetery where their grandmother had been laid to rest next to her beloved husband. “No. I—I scheduled myself into work tonight. Just get my mind off of things.” He reached over to touch her shoulder. “You should, though. Or take the kids to be with Emily and Nikolas—”

Elizabeth shook her head. “I just want to spend the day at home with Cam and Evie.” She glanced up at Jason, who had remained silent on the matter. “I know you have to go to the warehouse—”

“I don’t,” Jason cut in. But he was frowning down at his phone even as he said it. She could see the icon indicating he’d had several missed calls.

“I’ll see you guys later.” Steven kissed his sister on the forehead and waved at Jason as he headed towards the parking lot. “Call me, Bits. Later tonight, okay? I want to check in.”

“Okay.” When he was out of earshot, Elizabeth turned to face her fiancé. “Jason. I know you have to—”

“Johnny and Max—”

“Are not you,” she said. “If we’re going to move to the new house tomorrow, there are probably a thousand details you need to deal with. I’d rather you go now and sort out anything you need to so you can come home for dinner and be with us tonight.” She forced a smile on her face. “I’m just going to pick up lunch from Kelly’s and maybe we’ll give Nora the night off so it can be just the four of us. She and I will pack what the kids need for a few days.”

His shoulders slumped. “I don’t want to go—”

“And I know that.” She leaned up on her toes to brush a kiss against his mouth. “I love you. Go to work, and I’ll see you tonight.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

The rain had dissipated almost as soon as it had soaked the city. Nadine had waited for the sheets of pounding rain to sweep through before leaving Kelly’s. The staff hadn’t been able to pull the tables and chairs in time; the remnants of drinks and food still soaking as she walked past them, sipping her hot chocolate.

She was nervous about today—she was going to track Emily or Steven Webber down at work and ask for Elizabeth’s number. Johnny was strong enough now to take the next step.

And while she was relieved that they were going to finally move forward, part of her preferred the world where Johnny was safe in her bedroom. Where no one with guns or knives could come at him.

As she started for her car in the parking lot, she stopped with a gasp as a car pulled into a free space. A tall, dark-haired man stepped out from the driver’s seat and opened the back door. Elizabeth stepped down, a light gray coat pulled over a black dress.

No time like the present, Nadine told herself, even as her feet felt glued to the cement. As Elizabeth and her guard passed her, she blurted out, “Elizabeth, I have to talk to you—”

The guard immediately stepped in front of his charge, but Elizabeth frowned at her for a moment. “I know you, don’t I? You work at the hospital—” Her eyes widened. “Milo, give me a minute—”

“Miss Webber—”

“Go stand over there for a minute.” She raised her brows at the younger man, who finally acquiesced to standing no more than five feet from her. “You’re Nadine,” Elizabeth said to her. “We met at my opening last winter.”

Nadine nodded, grateful now Johnny had forced that introduction. “With Johnny Zacchara. I need—” She swallowed hard. What if Jason didn’t tell her anything? What if Elizabeth didn’t know what was going on? This plan had seemed more reasonable in her room that morning.

“Johnny’s with you, isn’t he?” the other woman’s face softened as Elizabeth reached out a hand to rest on Nadine’s forearm. “I know what’s going on. I know that he was missing for several weeks, and that you’ve been taking care of him after Friday night. He’s okay, isn’t he?”

Oh, God. Nadine sucked in a deep breath. “He’s okay. He just—he wants to talk to Jason. He needs his help, and-and for obvious reasons he doesn’t feel comfortable being out in the open—”

“It’s fine.” Elizabeth gestured to the guard. “Milo, I need you to call Jason and tell him that I’m coming to the warehouse—”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Miss Webber. The warehouse is under construction—”

“Milo,” she said in that even tone that had worked earlier. “This is Nadine Crowell. She’s Johnny Zacchara’s girlfriend. She’d like to talk to Jason about him. I think you and I both agree that this should happen.”

“But—”

“And I’m going to be there. I just have to call my nanny to tell her I won’t be picking up lunch after all.” Elizabeth drew out her cell phone. “I want this over. I want my life back.”

“It’s never over, though, is it?” Nadine asked hesitantly. When Elizabeth looked at her, confused, Nadine clarified, her cheeks flushing. “I just mean—there’s always going to be something else.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth sighed. “But if you’re lucky, you can convince yourself it’s worth it.” She looked to Milo as she raised her own phone to ear. “You’re not dialing anything, Milo. Either you call Jason and arrange the meeting, or I’ll go with Nadine in her car.”

Milo sighed and reached for his phone.

Warehouse: Jason’s Office

Jason played Courtney’s brief voicemail once more, frustrated with the lack of information. “What do we know? What’s happening at the hospital?”

“Hard to tell,” Max admitted. “There’s no one on Sonny’s door, but no one has come or gone in the last hour. And we talked to Courtney—she says two men showed up when Carly was inside and no one came back out before she had to go. She’s responsible for the boys while Bobbie’s having the wake.”

“What about Ruiz? Any movement there?” Jason looked to Tommy. “What do we know?”

“Nothing new. If anyone flew up in the last day or so, then he did it on a private flight.” The other man hesitated. “Or they were already here and laying low.”

“Jase, the kids are secure at the Hardy house,” Johnny told him. “Junior’s locked up tight at his girlfriend’s place. Elizabeth is on her way home, and tomorrow we’re moving all of you to the new house which has more security than Fort Knox.”

Jason sat down at the end of the long conference table. He didn’t know what to do next. He couldn’t predict the next step. Would Sonny go for him personally? Would he go after the business? How was he going to come at him? Would he wait until he was released from the hospital or would he strike through others?

All these years learning from Sonny—and he had no idea how protect the people that mattered. How to keep control.

“No one is coming and going from that hospital unless we know it,” Bernie said, his voice quiet and almost kind. “Maybe we should call Elizabeth and see if we can move the kids at least tonight. You’ll feel better if she and the kids are under lock and key.”

And it was a good idea, but Elizabeth had buried her grandmother today and, damn it, she deserved the opportunity to be in her grandmother’s home today. To have this day, at least, to mourn. That Jason’s life, which had intruded on hers so often in the last year, would take even this from her—

“Call Courtney,” Jason said finally. “If she has the boys, I want her to take them to New York with her. I’ll clear it with Bobbie, and if it comes to it, Carly. But I can’t—” Remembering the shattered woman he’d last seen at the hospital, he continued, “I don’t think she’ll argue if we keep the boys out of the line of fire.”

But Evie was still here. And Bernie was right. Moving the kids tonight would be for the best.

His cell phone rang, the shrill tone stabbing into his ears. Jason glanced at the call screen as he picked it up, his muscles seizing as he saw Milo’s name flashing across the screen.

Milo was with Elizabeth. Why would he call and not Elizabeth?

“Is she okay?” Jason demanded as he opened the phone. “Milo—”

The voices in the room went silent at Jason’s question and all eyes were trained on him.

“We’re all good, Jason,” Milo said quickly. “I’m at Kelly’s with Miss Webber, and she’s on the phone with your nanny. Nadine Crowell stopped us as we came to Kelly’s. She wants to talk about Johnny.”

“Johnny’s girlfriend tracked Elizabeth down?’ Jason asked, a little unnerved by that. “Are you bringing her here?”

“And Miss Webber,” Milo continued. “She wouldn’t take no for an answer. We’ll be there shortly.”

Jason hung up and looked back at the room. “Nadine Crowell cornered Elizabeth at Kelly’s. They’re both coming to the warehouse to talk about Johnny.”

“Junior’s smarter than I would have given him credit for,” Johnny admitted, scowling as if he hated to give the enemy any sort of compliment. “Did Sonny know about the girlfriend?”

“He knew she existed,” Jason said. “I never gave him any more information about her.” And now he was relieved that he’d kept that close to the chest. He’d not revealed Nadine’s identity to protect her from Sonny sending people to harass her, but now that Sonny was actively trying to kill Junior, it had allowed the younger man to find a place Sonny wouldn’t think about.

“He probably wants to broker a deal so he can get the hell out of the city,” Max said. “Is it smart to involve Miss Webber in this? Shouldn’t you send her home?”

“Elizabeth will keep Nadine comfortable,” Jason said. “As for the rest of it—to be honest…there’s not much Elizabeth doesn’t know about this situation,” he admitted. “I had—”

“You had to tell her,” Bernie finished. “It involves Sonny, and it’s not like she’s not personally involved. It’s her life being uprooted, her kids at risk.” He nodded and looked to the rest of the men, as if warning them. “It’s just smart. I never liked the way Sonny kept Carly out of the loop.”

“Miss Webber’s good people,” Johnny put in, loyal to the bitter end. “It’s not like this is business as usual.”

And with Johnny and Bernie solidly behind Jason, Max and Tommy just kind of shrugged in acceptance.  Involving women, even on a peripheral basis, wasn’t the norm but nothing about this situation could be considered ordinary.

“What’s the plan? What kind of deal are you gonna offer Junior?” Tommy asked.

“I’ll get him home to Crimson Pointe,” Jason said, “but I want—” he hesitated, because once he said it out loud—once he made this arrangement—there was no going back. “Sonny’s working with Ruiz. That’s pretty clear. I can’t…I can’t take on Ruiz on my own. He’ll pay me lip service, but he’s never cared for me.”

“Not after the Moreno situation,” Max said with a bit of regret. “He never liked you turning the business over to him.”

“Yeah, well…” Jason rolled his shoulders. “I was…” Stupid to think he could get out of this. Naive to think Moreno would stop seeing him as a threat. In this business, you either killed your opponent or you were killed. You didn’t get to walk away.

“Younger.”

“But everyone is terrified of Anthony Zacchara,” Bernie said. “You want Johnny’s help in getting Zacchara on our side—”

“And once Zacchara gets Ruiz to back down,” Tommy cut in, “we’ll just have to deal with Sonny, which is a lot easier when I’m not fucking worried Hector will send Javier and Manny up here. They’re fucking insane.”

“It’s not a bad plan,” Johnny admitted. “It mostly hinges on whether Junior can pull it off.”

There was a knock on the door and a moment later, Milo came in, Elizabeth and Nadine on his heels. The blonde looked as nervous as she had the last time he’d seen her in New York.

Her blue eyes widened in alarm when she stumbled to a stop at the foot of a table filled with hulking, annoyed looking men. She looked to Elizabeth, who put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “I don’t—”

“They’re basically teddy bears,” Elizabeth assured her. “Nadine, this is Max and Johnny, two of the best men you’ll ever know.” She gestured to Bernie and Tommy. “That’s Bernie, the smartest man I know, and…” She tilted her head. “I think we only met once—”

“Tommy,” the older man said with a nod. “It’s nice to see you again, Miss Webber.”

“Nadine is a friend of Emily and my brother’s from the hospital,” Elizabeth said, and Jason had to shake his head as he realized her mission. Treat this moment as nothing more than an ordinary meet and greet. They needed Nadine more than she needed them, and if she bolted, Junior might just contact Anthony Zacchara without going through Jason.

Which was the very last thing they needed right now.

“Nadine, you remember Jason from my art show in February,” Elizabeth continued. “It feels like that was years ago, doesn’t it?”

“It does.” Nadine’s shoulders slumped a bit as the tension left. Her eyes met Jason’s. “You were so nice that night. Johnny really respects you. Um…” She twisted her fingers in front of her. “He said he knew you weren’t involved in what happened to him because he never saw you there. And-and you have a reputation of not making people do something you wouldn’t do yourself. Or something.”

“We’ve spent weeks looking for Johnny,” Jason said. “We were worried we might not find him…” In time, he almost added, but stopped himself. “How is he?”

“You know that he’s with me?” She bit her lip. “No, I mean, of course you know that. I told Elizabeth, and the guard probably told you, and you’re not stupid—I mean, shoot—”

“Nadine…” Elizabeth touched her arm again. “Just tell them what you told me, okay?”

“He’s okay,” Nadine said. “He was grazed by a bullet—a-and he was pretty banged up, but he’s okay. He didn’t want to just—he didn’t want to just call his dad. He thought maybe his dad wouldn’t…I don’t know…be understanding about how it happened unless Johnny was in front of him. So he thought maybe you could help him get home to talk to his dad. You know, make this all go away.”

“We can do that.” But not right away. He had to contain Sonny and make sure his family was safe before he could take Johnny Zacchara out of town, before he could meet with Anthony Zacchara. “First, I’d like the two of you to go to a safe house.”

“What?” Nadine frowned. “I thought you’d just go send someone to take him home—”

“It’s not…” Jason hesitated. “It’s not that simple. There’s—we have a security issue, and I can’t leave. And I have to be the one to take Johnny to Anthony. Anthony will accept it better if I deliver him personally.”

“Oh.” Jason could tell Nadine didn’t quite understand, but she was smart enough not to argue. “I mean, okay. We could do that.”

“I’ll go home,” Elizabeth began. “And get out of your way—”

Jason held up a hand. “Wait a second.” He looked to Max and Johnny. “I need you two to go to the house—and do what we discussed, okay? Be ready to be in an hour.” Max and Johnny hurried out.

“Jason—”

“Elizabeth, I hate—” He stopped. “We have to move to the safe house tonight. I’m going to ask you to stay here with Bernie and Tommy. With Milo. I’m going to pick up Johnny Zacchara and move him to the safe house, too. And Johnny and Max are going to meet Cody at the house. They’re going to get Nora and the kids.”

“Why can’t I go with them?” Elizabeth asked, color rising in her cheeks. “I can go with them and get the kids ready—”

He crossed the distance between them and drew her over to a corner of the room, lowering his voice so that no one else could hear them. “I don’t want us all to go to the safe house at once, okay? We’re going to stagger it in case one of us is being tailed.”

She swallowed hard. “What happened since the funeral?” Elizabeth asked. Her fingers tightened around his hands. “Is it bad? Are we in danger or are you being overly cautious?”

“I don’t know,” Jason admitted. “There’s—I don’t know exactly, but things are happening. And I need to know you and the kids are safe. And the kids…Cam and Evie…” He hesitated, searching her eyes. “They come first, right? As soon as I know they’re safe at the house, I’ll have you and Nadine moved there. Johnny and I will follow a bit later.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You’re right. Will—can Cody or Johnny call me when they get to the house? Is there some way for me to know they’re okay?”

“I’ll make sure of it.” He drew her in for a quick embrace, brushing his lips against her hair. “I’m sorry. I wanted to wait until tomorrow—”

“No. We need to do what’s safe.” Elizabeth drew back, and some of the hesitation was absent. “If you think staggering our arrivals, if going tonight is safe—I’m okay with it.” She framed his face her hands, the metal of her engagement ring cool against his cheek. “I love you. Be careful.”

After Jason had left, Bernie and Tommy left to check on some business details they weren’t clear on. Milo moved to hang outside the door, and the two women were left in relative silence.

“Are you scared?” Nadine asked softly.

Elizabeth looked at her and sighed. It was useless to pretend she wasn’t. “Yes. I wish—I know why I’m not, but I wish I were with my kids.” She reached into her purse and drew out her wallet as a distraction. “Cameron is…he’s sixteen months now and he…” She laughed. “He gets into everything.  He knocks things over and then he just smiles at you like you’re supposed to be proud of him.”

Nadine smiled at the photo. “He looks like you,” she said. “Jason has a daughter, too, doesn’t he?”

“He does.” Elizabeth handed her a photo of Evie, with her sweet and quiet smile. “She’s ten months old this week. She crawls everywhere. Lightning fast. And—” her chest squeezed, thinking of them both. “Evie’s so curious about everything. She just…she’ll sit and look around forever, just taking everything in. And then she touches everything. She likes to know how things feel, how they taste, how they smell…” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “I’m adopting her, you know, but I already feel like she’s mine. I tried not to fall in love with her—”

“It’s impossible not to,” Nadine murmured. “I’m a pediatric nurse and I’ve been working with your brother in pediatric oncology. It’s…” She shook her head. “I try not to love them, especially the ones that I know aren’t going to make it, but they need someone to love them. They’re so scared—” She looked at the photos that Elizabeth passed her. “Is it normal to love someone like Johnny so much and absolutely hate everything about their life?”

“At first?” Elizabeth said. “You’d be insane if you didn’t.” She waited a beat. “When I first met Jason, I always separated him from his job. He’s a person with this job, but it’s not the same thing. They’re barely related. But eventually, I realized that I wasn’t being fair to either of us when I pretended you could separate them. Jason has this life. It’s dangerous. It’s often violent. And in order for him to be good at it—which he is—he has to be those things.”

“How do you deal with that?” Nadine asked. “Johnny always tells me he’s not in the business, but he’s always going to be Anthony Zacchara’s son. You don’t leave that behind.”

“I began to understand that the reasons I loved Jason…” Elizabeth tilted her head to the side. “The things I love best about him? They come from this life. Jason makes me feel safe. He makes me feel loved. Like I’m the most important person in the world to him. And that’s because Jason focuses. He has to have laser focus when you do the work he does, or he can get in trouble or hurt.” She sighed. “I mean, I guess it’s not being a super empowered female when I say that I like knowing I’m safe when I’m with him, that he can take care of me, but I do.”

“It’s not wrong to want to feel safe,” Nadine said softly. “My dad walked out when I was a kid, my mom died, and my sister—she was a nurse in Ohio who was convicted of killing her patients. An angel of mercy—” She hesitated. “I don’t have a lot of family or friends. I left it all behind to get away from Jolene’s legacy. I knew I could never be a nurse there. I was alone when I met Johnny. He introduced me to his friends in New York. He helped me feel safe again, like I could trust myself, my own future. And now I have this job that I like, and I have friends here. I know I did that stuff for myself, but I guess, I mean, I get it.” She looked out the window where day was slowly giving way to night. “How much longer?”

“I don’t know,” Elizabeth began, but her next words were cut off as the window shattered and she heard that familiar sound of gunfire.

She threw herself across Nadine, dragging them both to floor as the room was riddled with gunfire. Glass shattered around them, and she wasn’t sure if it was just Nadine screaming or if was her as well.

When the gunshots faded, the door slammed open. “Elizabeth!” Bernie’s voice boomed. “Nadine!”

“Bernie…” Elizabeth gingerly got to her feet, but before she could get stable—Tommy was around the table, all but scooping her into his arms. “Tommy—”

She saw Milo grabbing Nadine as Tommy carried her towards the door. “What’s going on? What happened—”

“Shots were fired here and…” Bernie hesitated as they started for the SUV kept inside the warehouse garage. “And at your house.”

“My house—” Elizabeth’s heart seized as Tommy loaded her into the backseat of the car. “The kids—are they okay?”

Bernie’s face was pale. “We don’t know. We just took the call when we had shots here and now—” He exchanged a look of trepidation with Tommy as he climbed into the front seat  after Milo and Nadine were in the back.

“Now what?” Elizabeth demanded, her voice sounded shrill to her own ears. “What’s going on?”

“We can’t get hold of Max or Johnny,” Tommy admitted. “They’re not picking up.”