July 21, 2025

Update Link: You’re Not Sorry – Part 10

Patreon Chats: Some are free, some are for specific types of updates

I’ve been trying to get up at 7 most of the summer, but not having any summer school, my brain is like nah and we just roll over and go back to sleep, lol. Also until two weeks ago, I was drugging myself with 80mgs of melatonin. This morning, I got up at 7AM, went grocery shopping, and still had 3 hours to work on school prep before my first writing task of the day. Let’s see if I can do it again tomorrow 😛

Flash should be at the same time all week — Phillies schedule doesn’t have any late or early starts, so I’ll be writing at 2 and posting at 3 until Friday.

I started the next story for the Crimson Swift Summer Perks program. I’m working on imgonnagetyouback for the Black Dog collection. Let’s hope I can get this first TTPD collection BEFORE blondie releases TS12. Taylor Nation is counting down to SOMETHING happening next week. Crimson Swift writing sessions are M/W/F at noonish the entire summer and you can get access for $1.

See you tomorrow!

This entry is part 10 of 10 in the Flash: You're Not Sorry

Written in 71 minutes. Sorry 😛


Friday, September 6, 2024

Port Charles High School: Industrial Arts Classroom

“You know what, maybe Danny doesn’t get to run the saw—” Rocco took his stepbrother by the shoulders, physically tugging him away from the scroll saw, when Danny’s fingers slipped for the fifth time lining up the wood for their project.

“I can do it,” Danny muttered, jerking out of Rocco’s grip. “Leave off.”

“Whatever, man. If you don’t need ten fingers to get through life, who am I to argue?”

“What’s his problem?” Jake asked, raising his voice over the saw, keeping one eye on his brother because he had a feeling if Danny went home with a mark on him from the class Jake suggested they take together, he’d never hear the end of it.

“Oh.” Rocco made a face. “Big meltdown fight with Sam last night. He’s dead in the water for the rest of his life.”

Danny hissed, finishing the cuts. He shoved his goggles up his forehead. “She’s fucking crazy, and I’m sick of her shit. She took the Switch. And found my burner cell, so now I’m really locked out.”

“Look, just play nice with your mom and she’ll cool down—” Jake closed his mouth when Danny shot him a dirty look. “Why are we pissed at me now? I didn’t do anything—”

Rocco made a face and Danny shot him the finger. “What? Either tell him what’s burning your ass or shut up. It’s my turn on the saw. You talk to your brother. Figure it out.” He yanked the goggles down over his eyes, picked up another piece of wood.

“Danny?” Jake pushed. “I know I was a smartass at the station—”

“It’s not you. Mom just treats me like I’m gonna commit a crime at any second. I broke curfew twice, and she’s treating me like I’m in Alcatraz. Your mom barely blinked when Cam got nabbed for the weed—”

“Because he was buying it for our cousin with cancer,” Jake reminded him, “but yeah, I guess your mom would have peeled your skin off if you’d done that. I’m sorry. Maybe Mom might have done more restricting if I’d shown any interest—” He stopped when Rocco snorted. “What?”

“First, no. Aunt Liz spent all summer forcing you to spend time with him. Also, Danny, I’m sorry, you know I love Sam most of the time, but she’s crashing out over this whole thing. I don’t think she likes Aunt Liz very much.”

Jake furrowed his brow. “What did she say about my mom?”

Danny scowled. “Dude, don’t—”

“If someone talked about my mom the way Sam talks about Aunt Liz, I’d wanna tell the guy. ” Rocco folded his arms. “I think if Aunt Liz was keeping you from your dad, Sam would go the opposite direction. She just wants to fight. She said something about your mom always settling for whatever crumbs your dad gives her.”

Danny’s face flooded with color and Jake went still. “What does that mean?” he asked flatly.

“Exactly what I said. I don’t know what’s gotten into her these last few weeks, but ever since Carly didn’t end up going to jail or whatever when she got arrested, but Sam’s been the worst to live with.” Rocco picked up his wood, slid into place and started the saw, drowning out any other conversation.

Davis House: Living Room

Alexis waved at Kristina as she came down the steps from the entrance, then turned away slightly to continue speaking on the phone at her ear. “No, my answer remains the same, Agent Caldwell. We have nothing to say. Not without a warrant. Goodbye.” She ended the conversation, looked at her daughter, exhaled on a short exasperated breath. “The FBI wants us to come in for an interview.”

Kristina carefully set her purse on the desk. “Why? We gave a statement already. You were here, I was at my apartment, and Dad was at the MetroCourt. There’s nothing else they need.”

“Precisely what I told them.” Alexis set her phone on the charger, then picked up her coffee mug. “I think the case has gone colder than they’d expected five days out. Their only real suspects all have alibis, and without a weapon or a witness, they’re circling back to try us again. It’s nothing to worry about.” She lifted her mug. “I still have half a pot. Want any?”

“No. I’m okay.” Kristina watched her mother head into the kitchen, bit down on her lip. If the FBI was coming back to her, they were definitely not focusing on Jason or her father. And if they wanted to confirm alibis, they might ask for phone records, pinning their locations. Kristina had turned hers off after leaving the house — but that would be suspicious wouldn’t it? And they might go for the security records?

She forced herself to smile when Alexis returned, but in her head, she was already planning her excuses to leave.

Time for the next step.

Corinthos & Morgan Warehouse: Main Floor

Jason had never been one to keep an eye on the clock, but this morning, he kept looking up, then at the cargo dock. He had to sign for a shipment due today, but after that?

Nothing was going to keep him from heading straight for Elizabeth’s and picking up where they’d left off the night before. He hadn’t exactly planned to dive in head first, though his mind had wandered there a time or two over the last few weeks, as they’d spent more time together, and those familiar feelings, never far from the surface, had begun to simmer.

But Elizabeth was giving him the green light, and he wasn’t going to wait another minute. No more stops or start, he told himself, checking his phone again for the time because maybe the warehouse clock was off. But it wasn’t, unfortunately, and the truck was late.

“Dad?”

Jason turned, frowning when he saw Jake approaching him, having entered through the one of the other doors. “Jake. You’re—is something wrong? Aren’t you supposed to be at school?”

Jake made a face. “Yeah, I cut after first. Don’t snitch, okay? I’m going back after—but—” He  paused. “I wanted to talk to you. Away from Mom. Do—do you have a minute?”

“Yeah.” He gestured to his nearby office. “They’ll come get me when the truck gets here. What’s going on?”

“I don’t even know where to start. This whole thing is stupid,” Jake muttered, following his father into the office, waited for him to close the door. Jake shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “Me, Danny, and Rocco, we got a class together. Industrial Arts—it’s like woodshop, you know? The only elective freshman and seniors can even get together. We tried to get Aiden in, but he just had to take French—never mind. That’s not the point.” He huffed. “Why is Danny’s mom such a bitch?”

Jason lifted his brows, and Jake’s cheeks flooded. “Maybe I shouldn’t call her that, but it’s hard to say anything else, I guess. Mom tries to be nice about it, though I don’t know why she bothers since Sam is the reason the old house blew up—long story,” he added when Jason scowled. “You were still, you know,” he wiggled his fingers. “Coma. Anyway. Danny comes in today really pissed off, and his mom basically took everything away from him. I guess she found the cell he’s been using to text you.”

Jason took out his phone again, winced. “I should have realized Sam wouldn’t let him have that much freedom. Not even over the phone.” He looked at Jake. “Look—”

“We can talk about why you’re not being a bigger dick to her later because I got thoughts on that, too. My thing is that Sam is the one that put me and Mom in the middle, okay? She got this bright idea for supervised visits, and made Mom the babysitter. And she and Mom were mostly okay when you were dead. But now it’s like there’s a switch flipped, and it’s a competition. And Danny gave her attitude about it, because you know, Mom doesn’t do the same for me. She’s always told me I could have as much time with you as I wanted, and—” He shuffled, looked away for a minute. “I didn’t want much until the last couple of days. I only did it for Mom and Danny.”

“You’re not telling me anything I didn’t know, Jake,” Jason said, and Jake exhaled, seeming to be relieved Jason wasn’t holding that against him.

“Maybe that’s why his mom tried to force it. Because I didn’t want it. But then the PCPD happened which isn’t anyone’s fault except whoever killed that guy, and his mom is back to thinking you’re the bad guy.” Jake paused. “But I don’t get why she did this in the first place if it’s not to make me miserable. Or make me lose it around you and Mom. Danny tried to tell her that I didn’t want to. And she didn’t care. And she said some rude shit about Mom in front of Rocco last night, and I just…I wanna know what her damage is so we can—” He waved a hand. “Make it stop.”

Jason let out a low breath, set aside his clipboard. “You never ask the easy questions,” he said. “A long time ago, before you were born, Sam and I were engaged. We broke up for a little while. At the same time, your mom was married to Lucky, and they separated.” He paused, unsure exactly how to phrase the next part.

“And then I happened,” Jake supplied. “I fucked everything up, I know. I did the math once—”

Jason straightened. “No. You were a miracle. Don’t ever think anything else. It doesn’t matter what else was going on around us,” he continued when Jake looked down, uncomfortable. “Your mom went through hell to have you. She was in a car accident, the hostage crisis, a bomb that trapped us in an elevator—we almost lost you both when you were born. She nearly died. And then when you were a month old, you were kidnapped, and we were both terrified out of our minds.” And one day, somehow, he’d have to find the words to explain everything else to Jake.

Jake wrinkled his nose. “I know. When Cam got nabbed by that Cyrus guy a few years ago, me and Aiden told him he could finally join the club since both me and him were already kidnapped. But I’m still in the lead — three times,” he said, holding up three fingers.

Jason rubbed his face. “I’m glad you can joke about it,” he muttered.

“The Webber way,” Jake said. “Whatever doesn’t kill you, laugh at it so it doesn’t suck so much. Anyway. Right, I’m awesome, you and Mom both love me, and I didn’t mess up anything. How does that explain the stick up Sam’s ass?”

Jason considered his words carefully. “At the time you were born, Sam thought she couldn’t have children. We ended up breaking up again after you were born. We…I guess you could say we worked things out again a few years later, but I don’t think she never forgave me for having a son, your mother for giving me one, or you for existing.”

Elm Street Pier

It was a shame payphones didn’t exist anymore, Kristina thought, huddling by the stairs on the pier, ripping the plastic from the burner phone. She’d worn sunglasses, gone to a store she’d never gone to before, used cash, and still — there was always a chance they’d track this call down.

But — she thought — removing the phone from the package, and skimming the directions to activate it and use the limited calling plan she’d bought. They’d have to find the phone, and pretty soon, it’d be at the bottom of the harbor.

She fished her actual phone from her purse, scrolled through her files until she found the audio file she’d created using one of those stupid websites online. Maybe payphones would have made things easier, but technology did have one upside—

She dialed the tipline for the FBI, and when it connected, pressed play on her phone file. A voice came out that sounded exactly like that annoying twit, Amy Driscoll.

Hello. I have a tip about the murder of that FBI guy. The one on Labor Day. I’m a nurse at GH, and I overheard my supervisor, Elizabeth Webber, talking with that mob guy she’s always with. Jason Morgan. She said that he didn’t need to worry. No one was ever  gonna look in her trunk, and when the smoke died down, he could get rid of the gun.”

She clicked off the audio, ended the call, then hurled the phone as far as she could into the harbor. She deleted the file from her phone, then hurled that, too.

Then hurried back to the parking lot and her car.

As soon the FBI found that gun in Elizabeth’s car and accused her of the murder, Kristina knew Jason would jump in to protect her. He’d do exactly what he’d done for Michael. Confess to a crime and go to jail.

Confessing meant waiving appeals. It would be over.

And everyone and everything could go back to normal.

Corinthos & Morgan Warehouse: Jason’s Office

 Jake absorbed his father’s statement, squinting as he fit that theory into the puzzle. “I mean, I guess that makes sense. But it’s been years. I’m—you know—” He gestured at himself. “I’m basically an adult. And she got to have a kid with you. One that she’s royally fucking up, if you ask me. Danny’s ready to gnaw off his own leg to escape her. You gotta do something.”

“I wish I could,” Jason said, and when Jake scowled, his father continued, “It’s not that easy—”

“Well, it should be. And if you ask me, you downgraded hard when you and Mom broke up. She never treats Danny like she resents his entire, you know, existence. I always knew Sam didn’t like me, and I guess it makes sense, but can’t you tell her to get over it?”

“I could. But you said it yourself. Sam is doing her best to cut off contact, and I don’t like my options,” Jason added. “I’ve been trying to work with her because I don’t want to go to court. I’ve seen it happen with Michael and his brother when they were younger. I’ve done everything I can to avoid it. It’s complicated—”

“Uncomplicate it. Because this is screwing with me and Danny, okay? He’s my brother, and as annoying as the little shit is, I love him. And if you and me are going to see each other, she’s not gonna let him hang out with me anymore either. It’s stupid, Dad. Don’t you hate it.”

“Yeah. I do.” His dad sighed. “And you’re right. I’m going to call Diane. We’ll start talking about options.”

“Good. Thanks.” Jake let out a rush of air. “But I better get back to school before they figure out I’m not there, and Mom gets that look. You know the one, right? Where you’ve disappointed and made her sad all the same time, and you just wanna curl up and die?”

“I am familiar with it,” Jason said dryly, holding the door open for him.

“Diabolical. Uh—thanks.” Jake turned to him. “For, you know,  talking to me. Really talking to me. I’ve…missed it.”

“Me, too. Get back to school before I call your mom.”

Webber House: Living Room

She’d already washed the sheets. And changed the comforter. Which was ridiculous, Elizabeth thought, snatching her phone from the charger as she headed for the door again. Jason wouldn’t care about any of that — or the fact that she’d done her hair, adding those curls she knew he liked—

“This is ridiculous,” Elizabeth muttered, then plucked at the underwire of the lacy pink bra that she rarely pulled out of the draw. “I am an adult, and I should be acting like it—” Her phone beeped and she looked down at it, pulling up Jason’s texts.

Truck is here. I just have to sign.

She grinned. Don’t break any speed limits. She heard brakes in front of the house, looked up, confused because he couldn’t already be here—

And her heart stopped. An SUV had pulled up in front of her car, parked halfway across the street, blocking access. Another van came up behind it, and people started to get out, dressed in crime scene gear.

Numbly, Elizabeth went out to her front lawn, her phone still in her hand. “What—” she murmured as the FBI agent from Monday night got out of the SUV by her car. The crime scene techs were heading for her car.

“Ah, Miss Webber.” Agent Caldwell met her at the curb, handed her the warrant. “To search, and if necessary, seize your car.”

“My—” Her throat went dry. Elizabeth gripped the warrant, backed up to her doorway and frantically scrolled through her contacts until she found her lawyer.

“Elizabeth?”

“Diane, the FBI is at my house searching my car.”

The voice on the other end was quiet for a beat, then in a careful voice, Diane asked, “And do we think they’ll find anything?”

“No, of course not!”

“Then say nothing, let them search. Did they bring a warrant?”

“Yes.” They popped her trunk, and the ice was sliding through every single vein, her fingers starting to tremble.

“Okay. I’m getting my things together. I’ll be right over—”

They pulled out a box — no, a lock box, Elizabeth realized with horror. Just like —

“Diane, they found a box that looks like where Jason used to keep his gun. I think—oh, God, I think there’s a gun in my car.”

“What?” Diane demanded. “How the hell—”

“I don’t know, but I—” Her vision blurred slightly. “I have to hang up. They’re coming towards me. Um, can you call Jason. Someone has to be here—the boys. They won’t understand. Diane.”

“I’ll meet you at the PCPD. Say nothing without me, Elizabeth. Do you hear me? Say nothing—”

The phone fell to the ground, Elizabeth’s fingers boneless, barely listening as Caldwell began to recite her rights.

“You have the right to remain silent, the right…”

July 19, 2025

Update Link: You’re Not Sorry – Part 9

Hope everyone is having a good weekend! I was exhausted after the Baltimore trip — the convention center was half a mile from the hotel which isn’t so bad — unless you’re lugging your laptop and materials every day in 88 degrees. I was boiling, lol. The conference was a lot of fun — a rare occurence for professional development — and it’s nice to know there’s another paycheck coming along AND that I’m getting reimbursed on the mileage and food I paid for. I crashed hard when I got home on Thursday thanks to a three-hour drive home (traffic, ick), but I’m starting to come out of the coma.

This will probably be the last Saturday Flash for a few weeks. I have a ton of things to do around the house, and I also want to add some more time to work on These Small Hours. I’m insanely overdue on Book 3, which I know most of the audience here isn’t going to mind. I think I disappeared after February and didn’t give you anything at all, it’d be worse. But I’ve been pretty consistent with Flash updates in that time period, so I hope that helps tide you over.

See you guys on Monday for more Flash 😛

This entry is part 9 of 10 in the Flash: You're Not Sorry

Written in 75 minutes. I highly doubt you’ll argue with me when you get to the end.


Thursday, September 5, 2024

Webber House: Living Room

Jake thumbed through the battered pages of a travel guide to Barcelona. “How many of these places did you get to see?” he asked his father. “Did you have a lot of time there?”

Jason shifted in the chair,  leaning back to let Elizabeth pass in front of him with a few of the remaining dishes from dinner, then focused back on Jake. “I think I ended up spending about a week there before going to Madrid. My Spanish wasn’t that great back then, but it wasn’t so bad to get around if you at least tried a few phrases.”

“Yeah, that’s what my Spanish teacher always says.” Jake flipped to another page. “It’s gonna be awesome being in Europe. Everyone always says it’s super cheap to travel there once you’re in the EU.” He looked up when Elizabeth sat next to him. “I keep telling Mom if I get into this school she should come over next summer and we’ll, like, totally backpack through Europe.”

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. “That means hostels and shared bathrooms. No thanks.” She twisted the cap off a bottle of water. “And I can’t leave your brother—”

“Ship him off to his dad or something. Or grandma Laura.” Jake closed the travel guide, looked at his dad. “You know she’s never been to Europe. I mean, other than a trip to Greece that was five minutes long. I bet you didn’t even sight-see.”

Elizabeth sighed, tucked her hair behind her ears. “No, since we were going to track down Helena and you’d just come home,” she told him, “sight-seeing didn’t seem like a good use of my time.” She picked up the travel guide. “Are these still the same ones you had before?” she asked, sliding her fingers over the worn corners. “You always had a shelf of these at the penthouse, and crammed onto the dresser when you had the room at—” She bit her lip, looked at their son — who didn’t know yet that he was named after a dive bar. She focused on Jason who had a teasing glint in his eye because, of course, he knew what she was thinking.

“Yeah. They were in storage. I stopped by Carly’s to see what, if anything, was saved when…” He grimaced, then continued, “when I guess Sam cleaned out the penthouse.”

“Yeah, that was a fun time,” Jake muttered. “Danny went ballistic because she didn’t even tell him she was doing it. But I guess she didn’t throw everything away.” He took the guide from his mother. “I’m glad you brought it. I didn’t want to get one until I got accepted, and I’m still finishing my portfolio. I don’t even know if I’ll get in—”

“You will. Your art teacher wouldn’t have recommended you if she didn’t think you could do it,” Elizabeth reminded him.

“Yeah.” Jake looked at his dad. “You…I don’t think I showed you anything before. I can go get it—” He jerked a thumb towards the stairs. “If you want to see it.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to change the subject, but Jason spoke first, “I would but there’s something I should tell you. You know about my accident, when I was a little older than you.”

“Yeah, you lost all your memories.” Jake furrowed his brow. “What about it?”

“It wasn’t just the memories,” Jason said. “I…have trouble with two dimensional images. It’s better than it used to be, but I might not see what you want me to see. I’m—I’m sorry—”

Jake looked at his mother, furrowing his brow. “I thought you said you and Dad used to talk about your art all the time.”

“We did—”

“Your mother would explain the pictures to me,” Jason interrupted. “What the colors were supposed to do, what I was supposed to see. And then I could make it out. I just—I didn’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Well, if Mom can explain stuff, so can I. She always said I got her habit of talking too much.” Jake got to his feet. “I wanted to get Mom’s opinion on my portfolio before I take it to my teacher tomorrow.”

When he disappeared up the stairs, Jason exhaled slowly. “I don’t want to mess this up. Or insult him—”

Elizabeth slid down the sofa so that they were closer. “You couldn’t. You wouldn’t. He’s so talented, Jason. It’s incredible to see what he can do. And he just lights up when he talks about it. And it’s his favorite subject. I never have enough time to listen to him as much as I want to, and Aiden’s not interested. You’ll listen to him the way you listened to me, and it’ll be fine.”

“You painted landscapes mostly. Places I’d seen. What—” Jason swallowed hard. “It’s important. What does he paint?”

“He’s more abstract than I was, but I promise—” She covered his hand, squeezed it. “You’re not going to disappoint him. He loves you. He was so nervous about tonight.” She smiled, though it was a bit sad. “You don’t even really need me around now to keep things moving—in fact, maybe I should—” she started to slide away, but he snagged her hand. She looked back.

“Don’t go,” he said, and she smiled hesitantly. “I like—I like being around you, too. I’m not just here to spend time with Jake. I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” He held her gaze for a longer beat, and her heart began to beat just a little faster. Then they heard Jake on the steps, and she slid back to her original seat.

Penthouse: Danny’s Bedroom

“Oh, come on, Mom! Not the Switch—” Danny dove for the handheld game, but Sam scooped it into box she was carrying. “What the hell!”

“Watch the language,” Sam said, heading for the doorway, with the box of Danny’s treasured Switch, Playstation 5 console, and iPad tucked inside. “And if you hadn’t been caught with a phone I didn’t give you in school today, we wouldn’t be having this problem—”

“If you weren’t a nutjob—”

“You wanna make it two months?” Sam demanded. “We had an agreement, Danny. I take away the phone, and you get to keep the rest of this — you broke it!”

“Oh my God. I did not break anything! Do I have the phone? No! You never said I couldn’t get another one—”

In the hallway, leaning against the wall, Dante’s mouth twitched and she threw him a dirty look. He held up his hands, then walked towards the stairs. Sam huffed, turned back to her son.

“This is for your own good—”

“Because you think keeping me from my father is a good thing. It’s not fair, and I—I’m gonna get Grandma to represent me and sue you for—” He scowled. “I don’t know, but I’ll find something.”

“You’ll find that your grandmother isn’t a fan of your father, either. I don’t get it, Danny. Because of him, you got dragged into the police station—”

“Who cares! I didn’t even get questioned! Jake was giving them hell, so they never got to me,  then his mom got him out. And Dad got me. Nothing happened!”

“A man was murdered!”

“I didn’t see jackshit, Mom. I heard gunshots, big deal. I hear them on the news all the time.” Danny flopped back on his bed. “I wish I had Jake’s mom. She lets him see Dad all the stupid time. I wanna go live with them.”

“Well Jake’s mother can set all the low standards she wants for her son,” Sam retorted. “She’s always settled for his crumbs, this isn’t any different.”

Danny jerked up, his brows furrowed. “You’re such a bitch.”

“And that’s two months.” Sam left the room, slamming the door with one hand, and awkwardly carrying the box with the other.

She made her way down the stairs, irritated beyond measure with her son for pushing her to the edge and making her lash out that way. Where had her sweet little boy gone?

“Don’t you think you’re making this a little more difficult than it has to be?” Dante asked. Sam dropped the box on the coffee table, planted her hands on her hips.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You and Elizabeth were getting along fine before all of this,” Dante said, and she sighed, looked away. “It was your idea for her to supervise Danny’s visits with his dad so that you’d stay out of it. It’s not wrong for Danny to be jealous that his brother doesn’t have any limitations. And you knew that before you came up with this idea.”

“I told you—” Sam huffed. “Monday changed everything. Violence will always find Jason. I don’t want Danny around it. Yes, Elizabeth and I have been friendly. Yes, we’ve found common ground to bring our boys up as brothers, and I don’t regret that. But this always happens when she gets anywhere near Jason. She makes it into a competition. She knew from the getgo I was being strict about Danny, so she lets Jake do whatever he wants—she’s never forgiven Jason for choosing me and our family—”

Dante lifted his brows, and her cheeks flushed. “Before. When the choice needed to be made. I walked away from all that. She’s still chasing him, and she’s making things more difficult with Danny because of it—”

“Look, I wasn’t around for all of that, and I’m not weighing in.” Dante lifted his hands. “I’m just saying that the more you try to keep Danny from Jason, the more Danny’s gonna want that contact. You’re gonna have to fight him every step of the way.”

Sam pressed her lips together, looked away for a moment, then focused on Dante. “Then that’s what I’ll do. My son is not going to make his father’s mistakes. One day, he’ll thank me.”

Webber House: Kitchen

“Funny how Jake always seems busy when it’s time to do the dishes,” Elizabeth said with a smile, rinsing the plate and handing it to Jason who stowed it in the dishwasher. “I told you that you didn’t need to help—”

“You cooked. That’s enough.” He closed the dishwasher when she’d handed him the last utensil, then leaned against the back counter. “Thanks for inviting me tonight.”

“Thanks for coming on such short notice.” She dried her hands, then tossed the towel aside, leaning against the opposite counter. “I can’t believe we’re talking about where Jake is going to college.” She tipped her head back, closed her eyes, arching her neck, stretching. “Aiden’s in high school, Cameron’s going to be a senior this year. Oh, it all went so fast.”

“I know. It seems like yesterday—” Jason raised his hands, trying to picture exactly how they’d been arranged. “He was so small. So light.”

Elizabeth opened her eyes, smiled at him, tipping her head to the side. “I’m so glad you were there that day. I mean, I could have done with that life-threatening complication, but that you got to hold him first. That we got to have that moment.” The corners of her mouth dipped slightly. “For all the moments we didn’t get to have.”

He didn’t like it when her eyes dimmed like that — when he knew she was castigating herself for the way she’d handled her pregnancy and Jake’s early years. “It’s okay—”

“It’s not. And it’s not just the moments you lost with him, though—God, it’s awful.” She folded her arms. “It’s the ones we lost to Helena Cassadine. When he came home, he didn’t believe in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy. I didn’t—” She shook her head. “I know it sounds stupid.”

“It doesn’t—” Jason reached for her elbow, tugged her towards him, and she came easily, lifting her chin to meet his eyes. “I look at him, and I can’t believe he came from us. What he’s been through already in his life—and you’d never know it.” He cupped her jaw, catching a tear as it slid down her cheek. “You didn’t get to have those moments with him, but look at the magic you made anyway. What an incredible kid he is. The dreams you’ve given him.”

“You were part of that, too. Don’t—I’m not saying that to make you feel better,” she added when he let his hand drop. She caught it. “I mean it. I see you in him all the time. The way he teases his brothers, he gets that—” She touched the corner of his eye. “That glint you get sometimes when you’re laughing at me with just your eyes. A-and your intensity. The way you can focus on something or-or someone—he’s disciplined in a way I could never be. Jake’s all the best pieces of both of us, Jason.”

He nodded, his throat tight at just the thought he’d given anything good or worthwhile to his oldest son. “I just wish I’d made better choices. You said it. He’s…he’s grown up. He’s going to college—”

“And we still have a lifetime of memories to make with him.” She waited for him to look at her again. “Ask Carly — was her love for Bobbie any less because they found each other when Carly was older? Or Dante and Sonny. Emily came to your family  half-grown, and that didn’t stop you from squeezing a lifetime in only a few years. He’s going to graduate high school, and then college, and we’ll get to be there for all of that. I’m so excited for him and this school in Spain—”

“We’ll go see him,” Jason told her, and she laughed, shook her head, but he caught her chin, turned it back to him. “We’ll go to see him. When he moves in. Holidays. I’ll take you. You should get to see Europe. And we’ll take Jake wherever he wants during the summer break. Aiden can come, too. Like you said, it’s not too late.”

Elizabeth’s lips parted, and she swallowed hard. “It’s not?”

“No.” His thumb stroked the soft skin along her jawline, then swept across her lower lip. Something pulsed between them, something that was always there, simmering beneath the surface, but that they had ignored for years. But there was no reason to pretend anymore, and if it wasn’t too late for him to have a life as Jake’s father—

Well, then it wasn’t too late for anything else. His other hand rested at Elizabeth’s waist, tugging her just a little closer, waiting for her to protest, to put the brakes on, to tell him he’d mixed up the signals—

But he hadn’t because she came into his arms easily, as if she’d been waiting for him to make the move—they both leaned in at the same time, their lips meeting in a kiss that should have felt more hesitant, more soft for two people who hadn’t crossed this line for more than a decade—

It was like coming home all over again, sinking into her mouth, his hands sliding through her hair, the silky tresses that had always obsessed him, curly, straight, short, long, he’d always ached to touch her hair—the soft skin just underneath her jaw, one of his favorite places to touch, to kiss, the sounds she made when his teeth nipped at the spot. She stumbled backwards, and he automatically caught her, his fingers sliding over her denim jeans, down to her thigh, to coax it up.

She broke off, her eyes wide, breathing heavy, looking at him a bit dazed. When she licked her lips, he kissed her again, unable to stop himself. He’d had to hold himself back too many times, had to crawl inside and be anyone else for years, and he didn’t want her to tell him it was a mistake, that they shouldn’t do this—

She kissed him again, and he felt her fumbling at his belt buckle—then her hands stilled, and she broke away again, nipping at his earlobe. “I don’t want to stop. But we can’t. Not here.”

Because not here wasn’t the same as not at all, Jason drew back, cupping her jaw with his fingers, everything inside him clenching when she drew his thumb into his mouth, and she grinned. “Sorry. Couldn’t resist—” She slid her hands down her chest. “This is—” Elizabeth took a deep breath, and a short laugh escaped her lips. She dropped her forehead to chest, and he ran his hands down her shoulders, wanting to touch as much as he could before he’d have to stop. “This is so not what I was planning tonight.”

“Me, either,” he admitted, and she looked up at him. “But I’m not sorry.”

“I’m only sorry that we have to put this on pause, but Jake’s home. And he’s got excellent hearing.” Her lips quirked. “Something he inherited from you.”

“Too much to hope he’s already asleep and sleeps the way you do? Like the dead?” he asked, and she grinned again. “You’re right. This isn’t the time.”

“No, but I’m not working tomorrow.” Elizabeth lifted her brows, when he just looked her, a bit surprised. “You think you can make time to come over tomorrow, and we can—” She tilted her head to the side, that wicked glint in her eyes that he hadn’t seen in so long. “We can pick up where we left off.”

“There’s no where else I’d rather be.” He drew her towards him, kissed her again, then broke away. “But I’d better go before I forget why I have to.”

“And before I forget why I can’t let you stay.” She stroked her cheek. “I’m so glad you came home.”

He leaned his forehead against hers. “I won’t ever leave again.”

July 18, 2025

Update Link: You’re Not Sorry – Part 8

In Case You Missed It: The Black Dog – Inspiration | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Rushing to make this post because a UPS package got delivered like 3 minutes ago, lol. Enjoy! More chat later (not that you’ll miss it!) The Recent Updates page is now, well, recent.

This entry is part 8 of 10 in the Flash: You're Not Sorry

Written in 62 minutes.


Thursday, September 5, 2024

PCPD: Commissioner’s Office

At the light knock on her office door, Anna lifted her gaze — then, seeing who had arrived, straightened, removing her reading glasses. “Agent Caldwell, what can I do for you? Do you need additional space?”

“No. No.” Caldwell grimaced, then fully crossed the threshold, closing the door behind her. “I might have been a little hasty in rejecting PCPD assistance.”

Anna, to her credit, didn’t smirk and show any other outward expression. “You had a dead FBI agent on your hands. I’ve lost men under my command before. I know the emotions run high. And while Detective Falconieri is one of my best men, I can understand your reluctance.” She paused. “What can we do for you? Some uniforms? I can make a call to one of the other precincts—”

“No. No—” Caldwell held out his hand. “It’s your input I’m looking for. While in many respects, your connection to the players in this situation might make it difficult for you to run the investigation, it can also provide some valuable direction.”

Oh, he was laying it on thick now, but she still didn’t express any emotion that might indicate just how much she was enjoying this moment. “While Port Charles is a decently sized city, in many ways, it’s a small town. And the important families know each other.” She gestured towards the chair in front of her desk. “Please. Tell me what I can do.”

He didn’t take the offered chair, but instead wandered towards the window, a hand in one of trouser pockets. “John Cates was a good agent for a long time.”

“I’m familiar with his record—”

“Three years ago, we put the Pikeman investigation on his desk. He’d more than earned it — working alongside the CIA, Interpol, and the WSB. We all wanted a piece of him. Not to mention more than a dozen local agencies.”

Anna’s heart picked up a beat or two, but her tone was even when she spoke, “Including ours. Dante Falconieri was nearly killed in that operation last April. And we suspect Pikeman in a few other cases.”

“Yes. Pikeman specialized in assassinations. Good guys, bad guys, politicians, cheating spouses—they weren’t picky about their contracts.” Caldwell tipped his head. “All they care about was green.”

“That’s what our intel suggested as well. Agent Cates was…dedicated to the Pikeman case.”

“He was. And while we were all disappointed that it didn’t result in the arrest of Valentin Cassadine himself —” Caldwell paused, but when she added nothing, he continued, “We were satisfied with what his informant had turned up. The fact that evidence Cates used to gain Jason Morgan’s cooperation went missing when it was needed to prosecute Carly Spencer—” He lifted a shoulder. “It’s just as well. As far as we were concerned, Morgan held up his end of the bargain. And up until Monday, we thought he’d held up the other terms.”

“The other terms?” Anna questioned. “I’m not aware of anything other than gaining Valentin’s cooperation.”

“As long as Morgan kept himself out of trouble, the FBI agreed that we had no interest in anything in his background. In short, Commissioner, the FBI gave him unofficial immunity for any federal crime for which the statute has not yet expired.”

“Unofficial.” Now Anna did smile. “I can’t imagine Jason Morgan felt bound by that since it’s not worth the paper it isn’t written on. And he has kept himself out of trouble. Your men let him leave on Monday evening, didn’t they?”

“Being able to prove something is different than knowing it,” Caldwell retorted. “I don’t know how Morgan pulled it off on Monday, but John’s blood is on his hands.”

“Agent Caldwell—” Anna rose to her feet. “I’m not suggesting that Jason Morgan isn’t capable of taking a life. His name is in more than a few of our cold case files as a primary suspect. But here’s what I know about him — he’s never been accused of murdering a law enforcement officer. In fact, I know that he went out of his way to ensure the safety of Dex Heller last spring when he left the employ of Sonny Corinthos for no other reason than Sonny couldn’t afford the heat it would bring.”

“There’s a first time for everything—”

“Of course. But you’re forgetting a few things. One, the deal was over. You said so yourself. Agent Cates had, as far as I know, moved on to Sonny Corinthos. What reason would Jason have to break the terms of his deal if the FBI was no longer interested in him? Two, the crime happened on his family’s property. Three, the crime was committed when several people close to Jason were nearby—”

“People who would lie for him.” Caldwell grimaced. “It’s diabolical, actually. He must have known we’d suspect him, and he didn’t care. His nephew, ex-lover, and his sons are with hearing distance of the shots. No one should believe them that Morgan was in the house and came to the scene after.”

“But they do. Because that nephew is the scion of the Quartermaine family and CEO of the largest employer, ELQ. That ex-lover is an extremely beloved head nurse at General Hospital, and those sons are relatively clean-cut and troublefree, one of whom has been known to be unhappy with his father for the years he was gone—”

“At best his alibi is a wash,” Caldwell said. Anna made a face, and sighed. “A jury could believe other side. The gun? The make and model doesn’t match anything he has access to, though Sonny Corinthos does—”

“And his alibi is rock solid,” Anna said, “so you likely can’t even demand to see it.” She lifted her hands. “As I said, Caldwell, you need to consider other suspects. You can’t prove means or opportunity for Jason Morgan, and we’ve already established the motive is nonexistent—”

“That’s where you’re wrong.”

Anna frowned. “How do you figure?”

“Because Morgan made a new deal. To keep the FBI from investigating whoever hacked into our systems to delete the evidence against Carly Spencer.” Caldwell paused. “Cates was pushing Sonny until he had no choice but to order his execution — an order he would give to no one other than his trusted right-hand man. John told me before he went to the meeting on the property that he was meeting Morgan there that day to confirm the details — that Sonny had issued the order, and it was time to organize the arrest. Instead, he was double-crossed. Sonny issued the order, and Morgan carried it out.”

Pozzula’s Restaurant: Dining Room

Kristina paced from the bar to the office door, then back again. “I don’t understand! If Cates is dead, then why haven’t they dropped the charges yet?”

Sonny sighed, exchanging a look with Alexis, before returning his attention to their daughter. “I’m doing what I can to find a source in the FBI office or federal court, but it’s locked up right. If we could get it moved to the local courts—” he looked at Alexis.

She threw up her hands. “How many times do I have to repeat myself? They’re accusing her of trying to kill a witness. That’s a federal crime—”

“But it doesn’t have to be—and come on, a witness in a custody battle?” Kristina clenched her fists. “It’s just a ploy to target Dad—”

“We know, sweetheart. And we feel sure we’ll get this dismissed.” Alexis comforted her daughter, rubbing her shoulder. She looked at Sonny. “And if someone thought getting rid of Cates would eliminate our problems, someone was very wrong.”

Sonny scowled. “Someone better stop looking over here, because I didn’t do this. I was at the damned hotel with a dozen witnesses.”

Kristina huffed. “He’s an FBI agent. A hundred people must have wanted him dead.”

“Which is probably they backed off Jason that first night. I talked to Diane — Danny and Jake both put Jason in the house when the shots are fired. The FBI might not believe them, but a jury probably will.” Alexis folded her arms. “They’ll go down the list of suspects until they run out. You and Jason were top, so—” She looked at Kristina. “And you were at your apartment. They can get footage from the lobby, right?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m sure—” Kristina pretended to hesitate, thinking about it. “I think there’s a camera pointing at the elevators. I don’t remember. I’ve never needed to know. But if they want it, they can request it. That’s where I was.”

“Exactly. We’re all good,” Sonny said. “All we have to do is let them run in their circles. We’ve all got alibis, and without more evidence, we’re probably fine.”

More evidence. The thought lingered with Kristina, tugging at her as she sat in the passenger side of her mother’s car, returning to the house after the meeting. Her father was right — if no other evidence turned up, they might be fine. But if the FBI started looking deeper into her — if they investigated her alibi—it wouldn’t hold up. Damn it. Why had anyone been that close? She’d made sure to wait until the party was over, until the kids had gone back to the house. She knew you couldn’t hear almost anything from the house from the boat house —

If Michael and Elizabeth had been where they were supposed to be — Cates would have been dead and they wouldn’t have a firm time for the shots, making everyone’s alibis more fuzzy. But now she’d have to make sure suspicion stayed away from her. She’d gotten rid of the murder weapon, and she knew Elizabeth had found it, she’d have just told Jason who’d  destroy it. And if someone else had found it — well, it was in Elizabeth’s car without Kristina’s prints. Since it belonged to Sonny, Jason would be the primary suspect.

But if Kristina wanted to make sure the heat didn’t come back to her, she’d have to find a way to make the FBI find that gun before Elizabeth did.

Webber House: Kitchen

Jake dumped his backpack on the floor, slid onto a stool to watch his mother stir something on the stove. “I can’t wait for graduation. I’m so over high school.”

“I know the feeling.” Elizabeth reached for the usual first day paperwork, started sorting through it, hesitating when it came to the emergency contact update, then lifted her gaze back to Jake. “What would you think about putting your dad on here?”

“Sure. Not like it’s ever been needed.” Jake rested his elbows on the counter. “Um, on the subject of Dad, I—I wanted to apologize.”

“For what?” Elizabeth asked, already filling in the information, scribbling in Jason’s new cell phone number, making a note to let him know.

“The day of the barbecue. For being an ass. I mean, I know Dad and I—we sort of—I guess we’re okay now. I’m not happy that he was gone for so long or that he went. But I get it. He was protecting someone, and that’s kind of his thing, you know? But I wasn’t just a dick to him.”

Elizabeth finished the updated paperwork, handed it to him. “It’s okay—”

“It’s not. I took it out on all of you guys, and it’s not okay. I—I just—” He grimaced, color rising in his cheeks. “Charlotte left with her dad, and I haven’t heard from her. She just…left. Like I didn’t mean anything. Any maybe I didn’t. Maybe I thought—” He looked away, muttering something before focusing on his mother. “Plus, Danny’s on complete lock down. He apparently called his mother a lunatic or something and so she took away his phone. I get to see Dad whenever I want, and you didn’t go postal on my ass when I mouthed off.” Jake made a face. “I don’t get his mom. Danny said she almost called the school to, like, put Dad on a no-contact list, but he managed to talk her off that ledge. She was so—I just remember when I got home, and we thought Drew was Dad—now it’s like the opposite. What’s her problem? Why is she so anti-Dad?”

Elizabeth considered her answer carefully, biting back the response she wanted to give. “I think it’s probably because she used…well, I guess the best way to put it, is that she used to run with Jason. The way he lived her life, she made it hers, too. And it’s part of the reason your dad and Sam went after the Dawn of Day cult a few years ago. I don’t know if you remember—”

“It’s why she’s got a record now. She went to jail. What is she mad that you got the immunity thing with Esme, and she ended up in jail even though that Shiloh guy definitely deserved it?”

“I think,” Elizabeth said slowly, “that Danny’s mom got burned by the life she was leading, and blamed your dad for it. And is worried Danny might go down the same path she did. That she and your dad did,” she clarified because it was only fair.

“But you’re not?” Jake said, furrowing his brow. “Why not?”

“I don’t know. Your dad is who he is, and I knew that when we met. And I’ve never worried about you. Your dad and I raised you to think for yourself, to go after what you want, and I like to think we’ve given you a good moral compass.” She lifted her brows. “Do you feel like you wanna make some of your dad’s choices?”

“Uh, no, I’m good.” Jake hesitated. “I mean, sometimes the law is wrong, and sometimes it can’t help you. But I don’t think you should go out there and actively do the bad stuff.”

“Your dad made choices when he was just a little older than you,” Elizabeth told him, “that made it difficult for him to do anything else and stay here in Port Charles. At least — not at that time. He tried to navigate a very thin line for a long time, to be a good man who wasn’t living on the right side of the law. He’d be the first to tell you that he doesn’t want any of that for you or for Danny.”

“Yeah, he’s said that a lot. Especially when we were going through the Franco stuff.” Jake slid his school papers back in the folder, then shoved it in his bag. “Um, do you think Dad’s really serious about being done?”

“Yeah, I do. Why?”

“I was thinking. Um, I got that package from Spain about the school I wanted to go to. And you said Dad’s traveled a lot, right?” Jake asked. “Do you think…he’d come over for dinner and we could talk about it?”

Pozzula’s Restaurant: Office

Jason knocked lightly on the office door, and Sonny turned away from the minibar — a familiar sight, even if in a different location. His expression looked wary, Jason thought, which was fair since they hadn’t exactly reconnected, even with Jason’s FBI deal over. He’d made it clear he was done with this life, and that meant a certain amount of distance.

“Hey,” Sonny said. He sipped his bourbon. “I figured you’d be by eventually.” He went to his desk. “I hope you’re not here to ask if I had anything to do with Monday.”

“Yes. And no,” Jason added when Sonny scowled. “Because I know the answer.” He hoped he did, anyway. “I didn’t do it, and—”

“I’m not stupid enough to do with a Congressional candidate a few hundred feet away.  Not to mention Michael, his kids, your kids, Lois, Olivia, my grandson—” Sonny grimaced. “I don’t know what the hell happened. They’re looking at Ava, but unfortunately, I think she had an alibi, too.”  He looked at Jason. “You got any ideas?”

“No. We both know it would have been stupid to pull this job that way, so would anyone else we know. I don’t—” Jason paused. “I don’t want to be in this. I told you that—”

“And I get it. You’ve, uh, sacrificed enough, I guess.” Sonny paused. “But if I hear anything—”

“I’d appreciate it.” Jason pulled his vibrating phone out of his pocket, and immediately answered it when he saw it was Elizabeth. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He could almost hear the smile in her voice. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Nothing important,” Jason said, and Sonny smirked. “What’s up?”

“Well, Jake’s got some college paperwork, and he’s thinking of going international. He knows you’ve seen a lot more of the world than I have. So we were hoping you could come for dinner tonight—or tomorrow,” she added hastily, “because I know it’s short notice or any other day—”

“No, today’s great. I’ll be over.” When he hung up, he looked at Sonny. “Sorry. I was making plans with Elizabeth for dinner with Jake.”

“We’re all good here, Jason. Go be with your son.”

July 17, 2025

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the TTPD: The Black Dog

WAYS TO LISTEN: YouTube | Spotify | Apple Music

– 10 –
Six weeks of breathing clean air I still miss the smoke
Were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke?
Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes
And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons
 Even if I die screaming
And I hope you hear it

When Jason stepped inside the penthouse, he was greeted by stony silence. Carly sat on the sofa, her arms crossed, and Sonny at the fireplace, a glass of liquor in his hand. Her cheeks were tear-strained, and Sonny’s hair was disheveled.

“Look who finally decided to return,” Sonny snarled, tossing back the last of the liquor and sauntering over to the minibar. “Don’t worry, you’re off the hook.”

“Off the—” Jason looked at Carly, who looked at him with such misery it felt like a punch to the gut. “What happened?”

“You lied to me. For weeks and months, you’ve made me the v-villain. The joke.” Her voice broke, and she got to her feet. “You made me a punchline. You let me live with him, knowing what he’d done—”

“We were separated—” Sonny tossed over his shoulder. “I’m sure you screwed Lorenzo, too—”

“I already knew you had the morals of an alley cat,” Carly spat, but turned her malevolent glare to Jason. “You lied to me. You put that whore across the hall, and you let me believe that baby was yours. You made me a fool, Jason. You were—” Her voice broke. “You were supposed to be my friend. Everyone says how much you sacrifice for me, how much I owe you—”

“Carly—” Jason held up his hands.

“But you did this, so what, Sonny could be near his bastard?” Carly demanded. “You could have made Jax the father, not you! But that’s not what you did, is it? You put Sonny above me, above my boys, above yourself—”

Jason exhaled slowly. “Let me explain—”

“I hate who I’ve become, I’ve hated myself for treating you the way I have for weeks, I’ve been so disappointed in myself for not being able to support you becoming a father because of how much I hated that bitch, and how much I knew she’d ruin your life—” Carly sucked in a shaky sob. “And it was all a lie. You did this to me. You lied, Jason. Over and over and over. What kind of friend does this? You let me live a lie. How could you do this to me? To yourself?”

She broke down, turned away, and Jason wanted to move towards her, to offer comfort, to argue, to do something. But his legs felt as heavy as concrete, and he couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t make the words come out.

“Sam’s gone,” Sonny said, and Jason looked at him blankly. “She’s gone to a hotel. Your life is yours again. What’s left of it.” He raised his voice slightly. “Max, Jason’s leaving.”

Jason heard the door open behind him, then slowly turned and left.

The penthouse across the hall was, indeed, empty. Sam had traveled light, and it probably hadn’t taken more than ten minutes for her to leave.

Your life is yours again. What’s left of it.

-11-
And I hope it’s shitty
In The Black Dog
When someone plays The Starting Line and you jump up
But she’s too young to know this song

We need a new understanding. And there will be no second chances. No negotiations.

Back upstairs in her room, she stood over Cameron’s crib, sliding her fingers over the smooth wood, looking around the room, once again taking in all the furniture. The donations from her grandmother, from close family friends — her grandfather’s rocking chair, Felicia’s bassinet, the changing table from a nurse who liked Audrey — and her grandmother who had only sighed when Elizabeth had called from California.  “Your room is always here, darling. Though I wish you’d change your mind and stay where you are.”

Maybe she should have. Maybe she should have just ignored her conscience, gone on letting the world believe Zander was Cameron’s father, stayed in California and begun that fresh start.  It was too late for maybes now, but she thought she might have preferred the lifelong guilt at keeping the secret than this aching, hollowness of knowing that Jason knew, he was happy, and yet — he’d forgotten their son at the first moment.

She picked up her son, cradling him against his shoulder, breathing in his baby-powder scent, the soft blond hair, the slight weight of him against her chest. She wanted so badly to be a good mother, to be whatever he needed. To do right by Cameron even though she’d failed herself so many times.

She heard the clearing of a throat and turned to find Audrey in the doorway. “Well?”

“You want an answer now?” Elizabeth asked. “I can’t think about it—”

“What is there to think about, Elizabeth? I am offering you a home, a place for you and your son. Financial support as you make a decision for what you want next. If you want to go back to school, if you want to find a good job, I will help you. I’ll be here,” Audrey said. She stepped forward, stroked Elizabeth’s hair. “Whatever you need from me to make a life for you and your son, I will give it to you.”

“But you want me to cut Jason out,” Elizabeth said unsteadily. “You want me to keep Cameron from his father—”

“I am asking you to speed up a future that will almost certainly happen. Darling, hasn’t he already proved himself with what happened today? He failed the very first task you asked of him. To show up. And if he can’t show up now, when the news is so fresh, what makes you think it will change later, when he realizes he can rely on you to do all the difficult work and he can sweep in from time to time with money and gifts and leave again. If he even bothers with that much.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes, the tears hot, stinging beneath her lids. “You don’t know him the way I do, Gram. He loves so much, a-and it’s hard for him to let go of Michael—”

“It’s been five years, my dear. If he hasn’t let go by now, he never will. And you and Cam will always come second to Michael and his mother.”

Maybe. Maybe that was true. And oh, it was so tempting to let Audrey sway her, to accept the distinct possibility that Jason would never be able to stop seeing Sonny and Carly as burdens that were his alone to bear. She laid Cameron back into the bassinet, and his eyes were open. He kicked his chubby legs, batted his arms, and looked at her with those beautiful blue eyes. Jason’s eyes.

“Elizabeth—”

She looked at Audrey. “I know you’ve said these things because you love me. Because you believe I need to hear them. And I do. I do need to confront the reality in front of me. But it’s not the one you’re offering.”

“I don’t understand—”

“You think you’re asking me to choose myself and Cameron, but I did that once. I chose Cameron when I decided his father needed to know about him. I chose myself when I decided I couldn’t live with the guilt of holding in that secret.”

“And that’s admirable, but—”

“I had so many opportunities to choose Jason,” she murmured. She stroked her knuckle down Cameron’s cheek. “When Lucky was here. When Jason was begging me to believe him that Lucky was dangerous—he saw before any of us—that the brainwashing hadn’t held. He wanted me to choose him. And I didn’t.”

“You were so young—”

“I chose Lucky. I chose what Lucky needed more than me. And today, Gram, you’re not asking me to choose myself. You’re asking me to choose you.” Elizabeth’s breath was shaky. “You’re asking me to choose your love and support. And if I don’t give you what you want, you’ll make me leave.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I can’t do that. I—can’t—if it was just me, I think I would. I think I would crumble underneath it because I love you so much, and I don’t want to lose you.” She closed her eyes again. “But it’s not just me. And I won’t condemn Jason after one day. One mistake and I take his son? How can that be fair, Gram? How can you ask it of me?”

Audrey sighed, and stroked Elizabeth’s hair one more time. “I love you, too. And I’m so sorry. But this is for your own good.  I’ll give you a day to pack your things, but the furniture – that was given to me. And it stays. You know where to find me if you change your mind.”

– 12 –

That was intertwined in the tragic fabric of our dreaming
‘Cause tail between your legs, you’re leaving
I still can’t believe it
‘Cause old habits die screaming

She’d done it.

Even as her grandmother had begged her to reconsider, Elizabeth had packed as many of Cameron’s clothes as she could manage, as much as she could of her own, and she’d loaded the car. It had taken three trips, and then she’d lifted Cameron, startled from his nap, into his arms, and he’d started to cry.

Maybe she was insane. Certainly, she was impulsive. She likely could have taken a day, talked to Jason, but she was so terrified that she’d crumble, that she’d wilt beneath her grandmother’s disapproval but certainty. Audrey would always be there, even if it was with strings and conditions.

Jason…

Well, she would give him a chance. She wouldn’t walk away from him this time.

Except now she found herself in the lobby of Harborview Towers, a fussy infant in her arms, and the reality of her situation setting in.

She had no home. No place for Cameron to sleep, a way to feed him, and very little money to her name.  And everything rested on how Jason reacted to her just showing up — the very action she’d discarded this morning.

But she needed to know. She had to know where they stood.

She stepped up to the front desk, smiling tremulously at the guard behind the counter. He didn’t look familiar, and she hoped that wouldn’t be a problem. “Um, can you call up to Jason? Tell him Elizabeth — ” She looked down at Cameron’s miserable face, then back at the guard. “Elizabeth and Cameron are down here.”

The guard furrowed his brow, then picked up the phone. “He’ll know who I’m talking about?”

“Yes.”

The guard was quiet, waiting for the call to connect. “Mr. Morgan, I’ve got an Elizabeth and Cameron in the lobby for you. Should I send them up—” He stopped, nodded. “All right.” He set the phone back down, looked at her. “He said he’ll be right down.”

She exhaled slowly, forced a smile, then turned away, hoping that her reaction didn’t show in her face. Of course he wouldn’t send her up — not with the circus he’d described in detail — the one she’d seen evidence of in the park when Carly had attacked her. But Sonny and Carly had to know some time, didn’t they?

And Sam. Sam was pretending to have Jason’s child. If she could be upstairs, why couldn’t Jason’s actual son?

Her hands were trembling, and she readjusted Cameron again, stroking his back as he fussed again. “It’s all right, baby.” She kissed the top of his head. “We’ll figure this out. Mommy — she’ll figure it out.” Maybe there was a credit card she hadn’t used or even — there was always Emily. It would be galling to ask for a loan, but for her son—

She heard the soft ding of the elevator, and turned back to see Jason hurrying towards her, his features creased in worry. “What happened? Are you all right?” he asked, approaching them. He lifted his hands as if to reach for Cameron —

And then let them fall to his side, with a sweep of his eyes of the area to see who was watching. Her courage, her stupid impulse evaporated. “This — this was a mistake. I’m sorry. I’m sorry to bother you. We’ll go.”

Jason caught Elizabeth by the elbow when she turned away. “Wait. Wait. Tell me what’s wrong?” Why was she here? Was Cameron sick? Had Audrey said something?

Elizabeth’s lower lip quivered as she faced him, and she bit down hard. “I need to know where you stand. I—I can’t do this. I can’t sit and wait and be in the dark—”

He held up a hand, and she closed her mouth. “Did I miss something?” he asked, bewildered. “We talked about this earlier—”

“And my grandmother came home, and she—” Elizabeth let out a short breath. “I was planning a life in California. A good one. I had a job and an apartment, and Cameron had somewhere to sleep, and I knew what all my tomorrows looked like. I was ready to be a single mother, to make sure my son had everything he wanted. I could have done that.”

“I know—” He curled his hands into fists at his side. “Is—is what you want? To go back?”

“No. God.” She huffed. “No. But I can’t do this. I was going to let you figure this out in your own time because I can’t stand to be one more person begging you to do something. To demand something from you, and if it was just me, I wouldn’t bother. But it’s not. It’s my son. And he deserves the best I can give him. I thought—I still think that should include you. But he shouldn’t have to wait while you fix your life. He shouldn’t take the backseat.”

“No, he shouldn’t—”

“So we’re going to decide right now how it’s going to be so I can make decisions for what tomorrow looks like. I need to know if you’re going to be here or if you’re just going to be a voice on the phone to him.”

“I—”

“Jason.”

He turned at the sound of his name, the relief at the interruption fading immediately when he saw Sonny by the elevators. The other man looked at the two of them, staring at Elizabeth for a long moment, before focusing on Jason. “We have to talk. Now.”

Jason grimaced, then looked back to Elizabeth, and the suggestion to her that they finish this later died on his lips when he saw the way her eyes had dropped to the ground, the way her shoulders had tensed. Bracing for the impact of what she knew was coming.

What always happened when he was standing with her, and someone else called. If he told her to go home, or even to wait in the now empty penthouse for him to deal with Sonny, she might listen. She might even let him finish the conversation. And they might even be able to move on from it.

But there would always be this moment. If he sent her away now to deal with Sonny, even if it was just to get rid of him —

He would never be able to take it back.

“You have my number,” Elizabeth said, forcing the words out. “When you know—”

He caught her elbow again—reached out almost desperately to stop her. “Wait. Don’t go. Don’t go,” he repeated when she looked at him, her eyes tremulous, hopeful. “Don’t go,” he said a third time. “I can do this.” He reached out, and she carefully transferred Cameron into his arms, and Jason carefully adjusted him against his shoulder, stroking his son’s back. Cameron fussed, still not used to him —

“Jason, what’s going on?” Sonny demanded, striding towards them. “I’m sorry, Elizabeth, if something’s wrong, it’s going to have to wait. Unless it’s life or death. Jason and I have to talk—”

“No, we don’t.” Jason looked at Sonny, at his oldest friend. “I’m busy. Tonight. And tomorrow. And for the rest of the month. And after that. ”

Sonny furrowed his brow, shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “What?”

Jason turned so he and Cameron were facing Sonny. “I want you to meet Cameron. My son.”

THE END

You need to know that you very nearly got a sad ending to keep with the song, but we’ve had enough angst for one fandom. <3

This entry is part 4 of 5 in the TTPD: The Black Dog

WAYS TO LISTEN: YouTube | Spotify | Apple Music

– 7 –

You said I needed a brave man
Then proceeded to play him
Until I believed it too
And it kills me
I just don’t understand

Elizabeth wrapped one arm around her middle, and cradled the phone against her ear, closing her eyes, hoping her voice sounded as steady as it needed to be. “Of course, I understand. No,  Jason, it’s—it’s exactly how it should have been. What you should have done. Michael was missing, and you’d lost your phone—”

She perched on the edge of the sofa, looked at Cameron in his bassinet, dozing peacefully. “I’m so glad he’s all right, and that it wasn’t serious. I mean, that he was just…sleeping. I can’t imagine not knowing where your son is. Um—it’s too hot for the park, but my grandmother won’t be home for a few hours, so…if you want to come by here. Okay. Okay. I’ll see you when you get here.”

She ended the call, clicking the off button, then pressing the phone against her chest, her eyes stinging with tears that weren’t fair to any of them.

Michael had gone missing, and Jason had snapped into action, not realizing what time it was, not concentrating on anything else until he’d located the missing boy. How could he have done anything else? If he’d had his phone, if he’d been able to tell her, of course he would have. And she would have understood.

She did understand, and it was stupid to feel hurt, to feel like Jason had chosen Michael over their son, because what would it sound like if she said it out loud? Jason, you didn’t meet the son you didn’t know about because I kept the secret because the little boy you love so much is missing. What an asshole.

 

But…

Was this an omen? A reminder that Jason couldn’t, or wouldn’t, put his own life ahead of Sonny and Carly’s? That he didn’t see them as separate lives at all, but intertwined to the point of madness? What he was doing with his own life—letting the world believe Sam was pregnant with his child, letting her live with him—

Taking care of Sonny and Carly and the people that mattered to them while she sat and waited for him.

Elizabeth closed her eyes, the tears building against the lids, a shaky breath escaping her lips. How many times had Elizabeth taken the back seat with her own parents? Her father had always known how to handle Steven, and her mother had worshiped Sarah. There’d been no room, no space for Elizabeth. She’d never fit. Not anywhere.

She looked at Cameron, at her sweet baby still sleeping, unaware of his mother’s existential crisis. Would he repeat his mother’s mistakes? Desperate for attention, for someone to look at her, to love her until he trusted all the wrong people? Would he be the younger brother who never seemed to measure up?

“I won’t let it happen,” she promised softly. “I won’t. I don’t know how, but you…” She rose to her feet, crossed to his bassinet. “I will make sure I love you enough for a thousand parents, and you will never, ever doubt your place in the world.”

The knock came a few minutes later, and she blinked, startled. It hadn’t been more than five minutes since she’d ended the call with Jason.

She crossed to the door, stopping briefly to set the phone back on its base, then looked through the peephole to see Jason on the doorstep, pacing back and forth. A few steps to the left, a few steps to the right, then running his hands through his hair. He looked tired — and he still wore the clothes she’d seen the bridge the night before. How scared he must have been, she thought, when they thought Michael was missing.

Elizabeth opened the door, and for a long, uncomfortable beat they just stared at each other.

“I’m sorry—”

“He’s still napping—”

They both spoke at the same time, stumbling over each other, and Jason was the first to cut off. He raked both hands through his hair again, then scrubbed them over his face.

“I’m so sorry,” he said again, meeting her gaze. “I can’t—I can’t believe this happened. That I didn’t—I just—the first thing I heard when I woke up was Carly screaming, and when I heard—”

“Jason, I understand. I do,” she insisted, when he seemed to hesitate, his expression filled with doubt. “He was missing, and that must have been terrifying for all of you. I can’t even—” She shook her head. “I can’t even put myself in the same place, it’s too awful to imagine.” She stepped back, dropping her gaze when he came past her, but stopped at the edge of the landing. “He’s still napping. I’d—I’d wake him up, but—”

“It’s okay. I know—” He looked at her again, but she couldn’t lift her gaze to meet his. Afraid that she’d embarrass herself. The tears seemed so close, and she didn’t want him to think she was lying. She wasn’t. But—

She closed the door, and stood there another moment, facing it, leaving both her hands flat against the cool wood, before taking a deep breath and turning to him. “But you said Michael’s all right? I’m glad.”

“Yeah. He’s—He just wanted some quiet. The fighting—” Jason cleared his throat, his eyes locked on the bassinet. From this angle, she knew he could see Cameron. His son. Their son. And when he spoke again, his voice had softened. “Thank you. For understanding. For…” He grimaced, shook his head, tried to look at her again, but she avoided him again, walking past him towards the baby. After a moment, she heard his footsteps follow.

“This isn’t the way I wanted to start this—” Jason said, stopping when he reached the bassinet. He lifted a hand, and it hovered for a moment above Cameron’s head, and then he let it drop to his side, curling into a fist, maybe to stop himself from touching his son. “This isn’t the father I want to be. The one I will be,” he corrected.

“I know.” She looked at him briefly, letting their eyes meet for just a moment, and then she had to turn away, to swallow hard, but the tears were stinging, and it was hard to breathe. “I know. And I do understand. It’s just—” She inhaled, shaky. “It’s just…you know, you…” And the words rushed out, and she couldn’t stop them. “You forgot him. You forgot he existed. I know it’s not fair, and it’s not your fault, and it’s all so new, but you—”

“Elizabeth—” Jason came around the bassinet, and she held up her hands — he halted immediately, but there were tears in his eyes, too, his throat working hard. “I didn’t—”

“You did. You didn’t mean to, but you did, and I get it, I do. Michael matters, and I’m so glad he’s safe, I just—” She looked at her son. Touched the bassinet, stroking the wicker material. “It can’t happen again.”

“It won’t—”

“It can’t,” Elizabeth interrupted, a bit more forcefully, and he nodded, grimly. “I appreciate that there are times you have to change your plans. But you need to tell me. You can’t forget him again.”

“I didn’t—” Jason looked away, then met her eyes, nodded. “I won’t. This will never happen again. Cameron is and will always be my number one priority.”

She knew he believed what he was saying, and she believed he meant it —

She just didn’t trust that he could keep his promise.

Cameron stirred from his nap a few minutes later, and father and son had the meeting she’d dreamt of that morning, and Jason said and did all the right things — he held their son with reverence, spoke to him in hushed tones, with sincerity radiating from every word and touch. And when he reluctantly returned Cameron to Elizabeth, it was only because Audrey would return shortly, and he didn’t want to create any issues.

“We’ll figure everything out the next time we talk,” Jason promised at the door, his eyes still on their son. He stroked Cameron’s soft, sunny blond hair, lingering another moment — a moment too long as Audrey’s car turned into the driveway. He tensed. “I’m sorry, I meant to be gone,” he told Elizabeth.

“It’s all right,” Elizabeth replied, readjusting Cameron in her arms. “I’ll call you—”

Jason nodded, and backed up, stepping from the porch and nodded again, this time in greeting to Audrey who was walking very slowly up from the driveway.

“Mrs. Hardy.”

“Mr. Morgan.” Audrey glanced at Elizabeth briefly before focusing again on Jason and lifting her chin slightly. “I trust this won’t happen again. Elizabeth knows how I feel about having you here.”

“I—no, it won’t happen again.” When he started to move past her—Audrey put up her hand.

“No, I think we ought to have this conversation with you here and now, Mr. Morgan. So that we can all be on the same page.”

Jason looked at Elizabeth, who clenched her jaw. “Gram—”

“Less than a week, and you’re already disrespecting the simple rules that I put in place when you asked to stay here.”

Her cheeks flushed, and Elizabeth looked at Jason with mortification. “Gram, can we just—”

“Mr. Morgan, you may have destroyed your marriage with your lack of morals, and convinced my granddaughter to discard what little common sense she possessed when she fell back in with you, but I do not intend to allow you to infect yet another generation—”

“Gram—stop it!” Elizabeth hissed when Jason just looked past Audrey, that familiar stone-face expression firmly set in place. “Don’t do this right now—”

“Did you know she had a life planned in California? An apartment and a job?” Audrey demanded. “And she threw it all away to drag this baby across the country so that you could know your son. One might commend her actions if she hadn’t chosen one of a selfish, immoral creatures with whom to procreate. Tell me, Elizabeth,” she said, looking at her granddaughter. “Was the plan not to have Jason see his son outside this house? Did I misunderstand that you were to rendezvous in the park this morning?”

“I—” Elizabeth licked her lips, clutching Cameron more tightly to her. “Something came up—”

“I see.” Audrey watched her for another minute, then looked at Jason. “Sonny? Carly? Or your other whore?”

Elizabeth flinched, and Jason’s head whipped up at that description — his eyes icy. Because other suggested more than one—and it didn’t take a genius to understand who Audrey meant.

“Mrs. Hardy, this is between me and Elizabeth. I think maybe she and—”

“No, Mr. Morgan, this concerns me, as my granddaughter begged me to give her a place to stay since she threw her life away for you. And I asked her for one thing, just one. I wanted to never lay eyes on you. You were not to set foot on my property. And within days, she’s already breaking rules for you again because something came up. Something more important than meeting your son?” Audrey demanded. “Shame on you for creating this situation, and shame on you, Elizabeth, for allowing it to continue,” she hissed. “This is the last warning. If I see him on this property again, I’ll call the PCPD, and you’ll find somewhere else to live.”

Elizabeth stepped to the side as her grandmother stalked past her, then slammed the door, almost bumping Elizabeth in the back.

“I’m sorry—” Jason took a step towards her, but Elizabeth shook her head, biting down hard on her lip, willing the tears burning in her eyes to stay back. “She shouldn’t have said it—”

“Why? Does the truth hurt?” Elizabeth managed, and he swallowed hard. “I said I understood what happened, and I do. But it doesn’t change anything. None of this—” Her voice broke, and she had to take a deep, shaky breath. “Gram asked me for one thing, and I couldn’t give it to her. Wouldn’t. Because I think I knew if I didn’t let you come here today, if I tried to make plans again, something would come up. Someone would call. Someone would need you more.”

“Elizabeth—” He stepped towards her, but then halted, swallowing hard. “That’s not how this was—”

“A-nd it was one thing when it was just me. When you were walking out on me for Sonny or Carly or Courtney or whatever crisis needed you more—but it’s not me. I don’t care that you didn’t come to the park this morning. Of course Michael being missing was more important, but you didn’t call.” And now the tears did fall, burning her skin as they scorched trails down her cheek. “You didn’t call because you didn’t remember us. You didn’t remember Cameron. So as much as I wish I could scream at my grandmother, walk out on her, I can’t. Because she’s all I have left, and I don’t trust you to be there.”

– 8 –
How you don’t miss me
In the shower
And remember
How my rain-soaked body was shaking

I don’t trust you to be there.

He hadn’t argued with her, hadn’t defended himself — and she hadn’t given him the opportunity, going back into the house and closing the door in his face. He had forgotten about the meeting in the park, about the conversation the night before—

Jason stood in the yard staring at the house long enough for Audrey to pull back the front curtains and for him to see the phone in her hand. Knowing she wasn’t bluffing about the police, he went to his bike, climbed on, started the engine, and took off, not knowing where he was going.

He’d forgotten he had a flesh and blood son he’d never met, one who had been born thousands of miles away and laid in a NICU nameless while his mother recovered alone from a car accident.  An apartment and a job, Jason thought, that’s what Audrey had said. Elizabeth had planned a life for herself and her child far away from Port Charles, and she’d thrown it away. She’d come home so that Jason could know his son. It hadn’t been so long since he’d had little money that he didn’t know what it might have cost her. Security deposits, rent, breaking leases — she’d done all that for him.

And he’d forgotten their son the first chance he’d had to prove himself.

Muscle memory had him pulling into the parking garage at Harborview, into the space next to the SUV he used when a larger vehicle was necessary. He switched off the engine, but stayed where he was, staring blindly at the concrete wall.

It was worse somehow that she’d forgiven him for it — that while she was disappointed and sad — she’d understood. There would have been time for a call — while Carly and Sonny and Sam had been arguing, while he’d stood in the security room, watching the footage, while he’d been in the elevator on his way to the security room —

There had been time, he thought. But he hadn’t taken it. Michael was missing, and he’d closed everything else off. Because it was Michael.

But how many times had he done that to Elizabeth? How many times had he been with her and taken a call that wasn’t important? How many times had he sat at the safe house with Brenda and Sonny while she waited alone for him? Had she felt forgotten all those days?

And what had she felt the morning after they’d been together? He’d left the studio after she’d fallen asleep, unsure what to do with himself, how to function, how to breathe with what he’d done. He’d forgotten Courtney that night, too, and had only remembered her when the adrenaline, the need, the desire—when it had been sated, and he’d laid on that uncomfortable sofa with Elizabeth in his arms, feeling like he was exactly where he should be — and then he’d remembered he was supposed to marry another woman.

He’d gone home, and she’d woken alone — and neither of them had said another word about it. But he should have.

He should have done so much more.

Jason didn’t take the elevator up to the penthouse level but went to the lobby instead where the front desk security guard had a cell phone for him.

“Already gave it to Mr. C,” Wally said, and Jason looked at him, squinting. “Standard protocol,” the guard added. “Remember?”

“Right. Sorry, it’s—” Jason flipped open the phone and saw he already had three missed calls from Sonny — and of course, Carly had the number. He and Elizabeth were supposed to have exchanged numbers this morning at the park — and the only way to talk to her right now would be to track down Audrey Hardy’s home phone number.

Not an option. Not today. Not when the old woman had been so angry, and Elizabeth had looked so miserable.

He didn’t want to go upstairs, didn’t want to face what he’d left behind. He’d remembered the meeting in the park and had simply walked out without another word to Sonny or Carly, who had been angry with him.

They couldn’t go on this way — none of them.

And for that reason, Jason went to the elevator and punched the number for the penthouse. Time to stop running.

It was eerily quiet when the doors opened on the top floor, and Jason stood in the hallway for a beat. Left was the penthouse where Sam would be waiting. Either furious for how he’d treated her that morning or bitter because that seemed to be her default setting. If he went right — it was Sonny and Carly who were already ready to drag him over the coals for a million imagined slights, and never for the reason he deserved.

Jason scrubbed his hands down his face. Pick your poison, he thought.

And went to the right.

– 9 –
Do you hate me?
Was it hazing?
For a cruel fraternity I pledged
And I still mean it
Old habits die screaming

“He’s finally gone.” Audrey set the phone back on the base and leveled another scorn-filled glare at her granddaughter. “Have you no self-respect left, Elizabeth?”

“Gram—” Elizabeth raked her hands through her hair.  “Please. I don’t want to do this right now—”

“We have no choice but to do this now since you can’t seem to honor your own word.” Audrey pursed her lips. “I told you. You and Cameron could live here, and I would not stop you from telling Jason the truth. If for no other reason than to obtain suitable child support so that you could get your life together and stop wandering around aimlessly—”

“I haven’t been—” Elizabeth closed her mouth, shook her head. It wouldn’t change anything to correct Audrey, it never did. “Gram, I’m just asking you for—”

“I told you,” Audrey continued as if her granddaughter had not spoken, “that you could do that under one condition. Jason Morgan never steps foot in my home. One thing, Elizabeth Imogene. And you broke your word the very first chance you had.” She lifted her brows. “How am I to trust you now?”

Elizabeth sank onto the sofa, clasping her hands tightly in her lap. “I’m sorry. You—you’re right. I did that. And it’s not an excuse that I thought I could do it before you came home. I broke my promise, and I’m—I’m sorry.”

“It’s nice to see you take accountability for once,” Audrey said, her shoulders stiff. “But I don’t know how we solve this situation. Have you and Jason made arrangements?”

“No, there hasn’t been—I told him last night—” and they’d planned to talk about that today, except—

“And he failed to show up for your meeting this morning, so you’re where you were yesterday. Nowhere. No money, no prospects, no permanent housing—”

Tears slid down Elizabeth’s cheeks unchecked as Audrey continued to list her failures as a person, as a mother, as a granddaughter.

Audrey took a seat in the chair by the sofa. “I know that I must seem harsh, Elizabeth, but I worry that if I cannot talk some sense into you now, you’ll continue the same patterns you’ve fallen into since you left school.”

“Gram—”

“And yes, this is, in part because of Jason Morgan, but—” Audrey took a beat to gather herself. “You started college, and you were doing well. While I did not care for the reason you moved out, you left this house at age eighteen, and were able to go to school, work, and support yourself. This is no small thing, Elizabeth. And then Lucky Spencer came back from the pits of hell where he ought to have stayed, and you lost all sense of direction. You stopped living for yourself. And for the last five years, I have watched you lurch from terrible choice to terrible choice. Marrying that Ric Lansing and divorcing him twice in the span of a year—having an affair with an engaged man, not knowing the father of your child—”

“You don’t need to list the ways I’ve ruined my life, Gram. I’m aware—”

“When you told me you intended to start fresh in San Francisco, I rejoiced. Not because I wouldn’t miss you,” Audrey continued, and Elizabeth looked at her. “But because you would no longer be here. No chance you’ll be drawn back to these terrible men you’ve chosen to love. Ric, Jason, Lucky—not one of them has put value on you. They all treated you as a toy they could put on a shelf and treat as they liked. And you’ve allowed it.”

“You don’t understand a-about J-Jason—”

“I understand that there is a child involved, Elizabeth. A child that you told him about. And that he decided something else in his wretched life was more important than meeting him this morning.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to defend Jason, but the words failed her. Because it was true. Michael and Sonny and Carly and their lives had been more important. So important Jason hadn’t even remembered Cameron existed until it was over.  And while she knew he regretted it, knew it wasn’t intentional—

How could she trust it wouldn’t be different? Jason had felt so protective of Michael that he’d destroyed his life to cover for Sonny’s affair. How could she ever believe it would be different when it had been this way for years?

“What do you want me to do, Gram?” she asked, lifting her head to look at her grandmother. “What can I do to fix this?”