December 19, 2014

Timeline

On November 25, 2014, Michael informed Carly that he was changing his name from Michael Corinthos III to Michael Quartermaine. Carly lost her shit and told him that Jason had named him that (doing an excellent guilt trip since they thought Jason was dead at that this point). This was right after Michael learned that Sonny had murdered AJ, and that pretty much everyone he loved knew the truth and was lying to him.

Inspiration

When Carly uttered that complete bullshit of a guilt trip, I nearly broke my television. How like Carly to white wash a history that no one else was present for. And then I started to wonder–how much does Michael really know about the year he spent with Jason? And who is left that will tell him the truth?


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 Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.


When Elizabeth Webber opened her door three days before Christmas, she did not expect Michael Corinthos III—no, Michael Quartermaine—to be standing on her doorstep. She frowned and stepped back slightly. “Michael?”

“I’m sorry to just…show up like this,” Michael said, shifting uncomfortably on the porch. “I called the hospital and they said you weren’t on the schedule—”

“I’m wrapping the last of the gifts while the boys are at school.” Elizabeth stepped back and gestured for him to come in. “Then I can take them to my grandmother’s and hide them until Christmas Eve. Cameron nearly found my hiding place in the attic last year.”

They stood on her landing, somewhat awkwardly as Michael glanced around a bit more. “And your houseguest? Jake?”

“Out looking for a job again.” Elizabeth waved a hand. “Do you want to take off your coat?”

“Oh. Yeah.” He stripped the long black coat from his shoulders, revealing the charcoal suit underneath. She smiled, taking the coat, and hanging it on the post next to the door.

“AJ would love that you’re the CEO now,” she murmured. She gestured towards the table where she had set up her wrapping station so that he could join her. “But he’d be worried that you’re taking on too much.”

“I should have come earlier,” he told her. “To see how you were dealing with what happened—” He swallowed. “You…and Sonny used to be friends—”

“That hasn’t been the case in a very long time.” Elizabeth tucked a leg underneath her to give her some height at the table as she reached for her roll of tape. “I wanted to be surprised at what happened, but mostly, I was just sad.” She stared at the strip. “For you. For all that you lost.”

“That’s why I’m here.” Michael leaned back in the small dining chair. “I…recently decided to change my name to Michael Alan Quartermaine. A name I should have had all along. My—” he grimaced. “My mother was there when I signed the papers and said that…” He swallowed. “Jason chose to name me Michael Corinthos, after Sonny.”

Elizabeth frowned, but bit her lip and looked away. “Michael—”

“There’s no one left I can ask who would have known that for sure.” Michael leaned forward now, his elbows on his thighs, his eyes on the ground. “I know Emily and Mike were my godparents, but they’re not around. I know Jason was sort of involved with Robin, but she’s not here either. And it goes without saying that Jason isn’t here either.” He straightened abruptly. “But you knew all those people. You and Emily were best friends, and I know you loved my uncle—”

“Michael, anything I know is second hand.” Elizabeth pulled a piece of wrapping paper over a white cardboard box and taped it. “And your mother would not appreciate me speaking out of turn—”

“I don’t care what she wants.” Michael rose, began to pace. “She’s always shaped the narrative, don’t you see? She and Sonny told me for years how awful AJ was, how evil. What a monster he was. But I finally had a chance to know him.” He turned to her. “You knew him, too. You saw him for who he was that last year. You knew him back then.”

“Sort of.” Elizabeth sighed. “Michael, I’m not one to cast stones at someone for choices they made in a difficult position, okay? You know the mess created by Jake’s paternity, the horror I went through with Aidan—”

“That’s why I know you’ll tell me the truth.” Michael shoved his hands in his pockets. “You’ve never lied to me, Elizabeth. Even when it was convenient. You never promised to stick by AJ, just that you would show up that day to give him some hope. And thank God you did, because he wasn’t guilty.”

“I know, and I was so glad to learn he knew the truth before he died.” Elizabeth set the tape down and got to her feet. “All right. I do know some things. Emily and I weren’t particularly close when you were born, but when AJ found out, we were friends. And I knew Jason after he’d surrendered custody—”

“Custody?” Michael repeated.

And Elizabeth had long-suspected that portion of Michael’s life had been kept from him. “I don’t know the specific reasons you ended up with Jason, why Carly left Tony, or why she hid the truth from AJ. I can only guess AJ found out there was a chance he was the father and told her he’d go after custody. She probably panicked.” Elizabeth twisted her fingers together. “She usually did her worst damage when she panicked.”

“That much I know.” Michael leaned against the back of the sofa. “She told me she went to Jason, that she begged him to look after me because she couldn’t. Because of the post-partum.” He shook his head. “But why would he name me for Sonny? My mother didn’t even know him then—”

“He named you Michael,” Elizabeth confirmed. “Because you didn’t have a name and people were starting to worry. Jason had already dealt with the medical decisions after your heart defect, and Tony was threatening to call Social Services because he didn’t feel Jason was a fit parent—Jason knew if he kept putting off the simple things, no one would believe he was your father.”

Michael stared at her. “My father.”

“Jason named you Michael Morgan,” Elizabeth said softly. “Because the world believed you to be his. And he raised you for more than a year while Carly was dealing with her post-partum and then while she was in Ferncliffe after she shot Tony for kidnapping you. She told that lie to keep Tony and AJ from taking you from her. At least, that’s how I always understood it. And Jason agreed because he didn’t much care for the Quartermaines or Tony at that point. He thought Carly had a right to make her own choice.”

“She told me Jason named me for Sonny, but that was a lie—”

“It was a partial truth,” Elizabeth cut in. “Emily told Jason he should name you for someone that meant a great deal to him. So he chose Michael, because Sonny had been like a brother to him, maybe even a father. He’d given Jason a job, an identity when everyone else saw him as damaged. So yeah, Jason named you Michael, but you didn’t become a Corinthos until you were almost four years old.”

Michael exhaled slowly and looked away. “I knew it didn’t sound right, and I knew that Jason had cared for me when my mother couldn’t. I guess I never thought about what that meant—”

“I wasn’t sure if anyone had ever told you about that year with Jason.” Elizabeth approached him. “I was dating Lucky back then, who was living over Jason’s garage. And I remember seeing you with Jason and Robin. They loved you so much. It changed when Carly came home from the hospital.” She looked away. “Jason told me that Robin told the truth to protect him, because Carly would use you as a weapon to keep him around. It always drove Jason crazy that Robin hadn’t allowed him a choice in the matter.”

“Do you think Jason would have told me the truth one day?” Michael asked quietly.

“Yeah. And I’m not saying that because I have rose-colored view of him.” Elizabeth leaned against the back of the sofa as well. “I’m saying that because I knew him well enough back then. I don’t know about the chain of events, but I know Carly went to the Quartermaines to make sure she kept custody. That she accused Jason of kidnapping you, of making all the choices. Jason forgave her for that, mostly because I think he understood she hadn’t thought it through. Carly wanted to make sure no one took you from her.

“Like I was some kind of possession.” Michael looked at her. “So Robin left town, and my mother accused him of kidnapping.”

“And Alexis got him visitation,” Elizabeth said. “For months, Jason visited you. Until he realized that it would just confuse you as you grew older. That as much as he loved you, you weren’t his son. So he surrendered all rights to give you a chance to bond with AJ. To let you grow up without him.”

“You said you knew him after that?”

“It’s why we became friends.” Elizabeth glanced at her window table where a photo of herself and Jason sat. “I had lost Lucky—so I thought—and he’d lost you. We were both drifting. And found something in each other. Jason left town after that, though. I think Carly hadn’t quite given up the ghost and he knew she’d just keep using you—” She stopped. “Michael, this was so long ago—”

“My mother’s been using me all my life.” Michael straightened. “She used me to keep Tony, to keep Jason, to keep Sonny. She says she loves me, but I’ve never seen much evidence of it. She didn’t want me to lose Sonny, that’s why she kept this latest secret.” Michael’s face twisted. “Why doesn’t she understand? The moment he pulled that trigger and murdered AJ, I lost him. I didn’t even have to know the truth.”

“I’m so sorry, Michael,” Elizabeth murmured. “I hate that you’re going through this. And it would have broken Jason’s heart. But he wouldn’t want you to live with this…” She gestured. “Bitterness, this anger. That’s not what he wanted for you. He wanted you to belong to yourself, to grow up and make your own decisions.” She pressed a hand against his suit jacket. “He’d be proud of how you’re taking care of Monica. She’s buried all her children. Four of them. And she buried her boys twice.”

“I wish I could see him one more time,” Michael admitted. “I-I don’t know if I’m doing it right. If I’m—” He looked down. “Kiki and Morgan knew the truth. And they didn’t tell me. So I cut them out—”

Her heart ached for his young man, for the little boy she remembered. “Do you think that was the best decision?” she asked softly. “Or just something you had to do in the moment?”

“I…look at myself sometimes,” Michael admitted, “when I’m that angry and I see Sonny.” His dark eyes met hers. “After it’s over, after I’ve said these horrible things to Kiki, I tell myself to apologize. But I can’t. And then I just do it again.”

“It’s natural to feel betrayed,” Elizabeth told him. “And I don’t know if I should give you advice—I’ve done some awful things…” She hesitated. “But I don’t think Jason or AJ would want this to rule your life. Sonny plead guilty. He’s in jail, and he’s paying for his crime. Don’t destroy your life to punish him.”

“I just…they looked at me and lied to me,” he murmured. “I was looking for AJ’s killer, I thought Ava was guilty, and Kiki—she knew what this was doing to me—”

“It’s never a good idea to protect someone you love from the truth,” Elizabeth interrupted. “But that’s a lesson that comes with time, with mistakes. Whether you forgive Morgan and Kiki—that’s up to you. But try not to let the anger eat you up, Michael. That’s what happened to Sonny.”

“Yeah.” Michael exhaled slowly. “Thank you. For telling me the truth—”

“That’s just the truth that I know,” Elizabeth said. “If Jason were here, he might tell you something entirely different—”

“Your truth is a lot more believable than my mother’s.” Michael awkwardly embraced her. “It’s just—I’m glad there’s still someone I can count on—”

“Of course.” Elizabeth kissed his cheek as he drew away. “You know that you can come to me any time. You’ve been part of my life since you were little, Michael. That doesn’t have to change because Jason and AJ are gone.”

Her front door opened then on a bitter and brisk wind. Jake stepped in, stamping snow from his feet. “It’s really starting to come down out there—” He stopped, seeing her standing there with Michael. “Oh. I’m sorry.”

“I was just leaving.” Michael squeezed her hand. “Thanks again, Elizabeth.” He nodded to Jake, drew on his coat and left. Jake closed the door behind him.

“Michael Corinthos right? I didn’t know you knew him.”

“Forever, it seems.” Elizabeth moved to the window and pushed aside the curtain, watching as Michael walked down the driveway to where a dark car was parked at her curb. “He just found out his adoptive father murdered his biological father, that his mother knew—” She sighed and drew back. “And that his uncle was once believed to be his father.”

Jake frowned. “Uncle? That was Jason, right?”

“Yeah.” She shook her head. “I wish he were here. Michael could use him right now.” She turned back to him after a long moment with a bright smile. “How did job hunting go?”

April 12, 2014

Timeline

This is sort of an episode tag to October 12, 2006, after which Sam had told Nikolas about the possibility that Jason was the father of Elizabeth’s child.

Inspiration

. I was sort of frustrated back then by how passive Elizabeth seemed in taking the constant abusive and guilt from the people around her, so I wrote a story where she loses her shit. I’ve written another story along these lines, but much longer, called No Angel.


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It was only going to take one more person today to make Elizabeth snap. She had held her temper the entire day because if she opened her mouth, she would just let it all out and while she would feel better, she thought it might end up causing more stress in the end and she wasn’t really in the mood.

First it had been Lulu and then Carly and then of course, Sam. Her Royal Fucking Highness. If anyone should have kept their damn mouth shut, it was Sam McCall. Maybe Elizabeth shouldn’t have spent the night with Jason (she was willing to consider the possibility) but at least she hadn’t spent the night rolling on the ground with her step father.

And so what if she needed a paternity test? She was hardly the first woman in Port Charles that wasn’t completely sure about the man who fathered their child. In fact, if Elizabeth remembered gossip correctly, Carly had had to have a paternity test with both Michael and Morgan. And Sam had had one as well. So the two of them should have just shut their damn mouths.

Elizabeth stomped down the dock steps, the clacking of her boot heels slapping against the wooden stairs. She had just taken the test and now the final week of waiting would begin.

She should have kept her mouth shut. If she had never said word one about the paternity issue, then Epiphany never could have guilted her into admitting the truth to Jason, who never would have told Sam and Carly never would have over heard it and her blood pressure wouldn’t be through the roof.

Kelly had been concerned and Elizabeth had promised to relax but how was someone supposed to relax when every time they turned the corner, someone was waiting to jump down her throat?

“So I guess I know why you didn’t want to tell Lucky.”

Elizabeth frowned and turned to find her brother-in-law stepping onto the docks, his face schooled into a blank expression. “I beg your pardon?” she asked.

“You didn’t tell Lucky you were pregnant because you said you wanted things to calm down,” Nikolas reminded her. “But really, you just didn’t say anything because you didn’t know if he was the father.”

Elizabeth arched an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t lie to me any more,” Nikolas snapped. “You slept with Jason. You’ve been running around, pretending to be the person wronged but you had an affair–”

And just like that, Elizabeth stopped caring. “Shut up,” she said, taking a step forward. “Shut your mouth.”

A little startled, Nikolas closed his mouth.

“First of all,” Elizabeth said testily, “I don’t have to justify anything to you. You’re not my husband and it’s none of your business. Secondly, after catching my husband with his little tramp three times in the span of twenty-four hours, yes, I spent the night with Jason. One night. I think that I had a right to deal with my situation the best I knew how–”

“And that was sleeping with Jason?” Nikolas asked incredulously.

“I was leaving Lucky,” Elizabeth spat. “I had caught him with the pills, he was blaming his affair and addiction on me and I had had enough. I told him our marriage was over and as far as I’m concerned, I should have kept walking. But he seemed like he was making an effort and he pretended to be sorry. So I went back.”

“And never told him.”

“What purpose would it have served?” Elizabeth demanded. “It would have made an awful situation even worse and I wanted to save my marriage. But instead, he went back to his pills and he went back to his whore. And I ended up pregnant. I’m done. I’m done feeling guilty, like I have to apologize for a night that I’m not sorry about. I don’t have to justify anything to you, Nikolas. After all, your son was conceived while you were having an affair with a married woman. And you needed a paternity test as well. So do not pretend to be innocent.” She stopped and frowned. “And who told you anyway?”

“Sam,” Nikolas volunteered. He hesitated. “Elizabeth–”

“Save it,” Elizabeth hissed. “I’m done. You can take your recriminations and kiss my ass.”

An hour later, after many calls to various family members, Elizabeth finally tracked Sam down. At Jason’s penthouse.

She pushed the door open and heard the tail end of Sam’s wail, “How could this happen?”

“Easy,” Elizabeth snarled. “Two people and one defective condom.” She kicked the door shut and tossed her purse down. “I’m thinking of taking an ad out in the paper, I’ve got some news about the DA that I think Port Charles might be interested in. It’s more suited to the tabloids, but I doubt the Herald will make that distinction.”

Jason frowned. “Elizabeth–”

“Shut up, the stressful afternoon I just had is entirely the fault of your big mouth, your stupid ex-fiancee and the crazy bitch you call your best friend,” Elizabeth snapped. “So just shut up and let me tell Sam exactly what I think of her–”

“I don’t know where you get off–” Sam began hotly.

“I kept my end of the bargain, you know,” Elizabeth said. “I didn’t tell anyone you were rolling around with your stepfather and then playing the victim. I kept my mouth shut because it was no one’s business but yours. Why the hell couldn’t you do the same?”

“What are you talking about?” Sam demanded.

“You told Nikolas about the paternity,” Elizabeth snapped. “And you know where I bet my loyal brother-in-law is going? To Shadybrooke, to tell Lucky.”

“He deserves to know,” Sam said. “If I were him–”

“Well, you’re not him,” Elizabeth replied. “You’re not trying to kick a pill habit for the sake of a child. It’s bad enough that Cam and I weren’t enough to quit and that Lucky’s dirty skank is also pregnant but are you really trying to make him have a relapse?”

“Sam, maybe you should stay out of it–” Jason began.

“Oh, just shut the hell up. You let Carly free to roam the streets and she took the opportunity to ream me about trapping you into whatever…” Elizabeth waved her hand. “I could give a damn what you think so just do what you best and stand back and let what’s going to happen happen.” She turned her attention back to Sam. “I didn’t tell Lucky about the paternity because he didn’t know that Jason and I slept together. He’s going through a tough time and the last thing he needed was a double dose of bad news. So I was waiting to tell him until the paternity test came back. I’m sorry if that’s not good enough for you but I don’t see the point in hurting people just to be honest.” Elizabeth widened her eyes in pretend innocence. “Unless you’d like me to drop by the lake house and tell your mother exactly what you were doing with her husband–”

“Stay away from my mother,” Sam retorted.

“And you stay out of my life,” Elizabeth returned hotly. “You and Jason weren’t together so stop acting so damn betrayed. If this baby is his, it was conceived on a night you were screwing your stepfather so I think I end up looking a little better in this situation. And so help me God, if you take it upon yourself to tell one more person about this, I will take out an ad in the newspaper myself.”

She snatched her purse off the desk and threw a fulminating glare to a stunned Jason. “I’m going to my grandmother’s house for the next week. Don’t call me, don’t come to my door and I swear to God, if Carly or Sam come near me, I’ll shoot first and ask questions later. I’ve already lost two babies and I will be damned if they raise my blood pressure any higher by throwing ridiculous accusations at me.” She looked at Sam once more. “I’m not perfect, Sam. I don’t even come close, but at least I can look myself in the mirror. Can you say the same?”

Inspiration

I have so many problems with the hit and run storyline. I don’t even know where to start. LeaB wrote an AMAZING rendition of this story, Through the Looking Glass, but I’ve always been tempted to go back and try my own hand at it. I did for a hot minute, with The Blind Spot, but I lost interested in it and gave it to Joy, continued it with an interesting twist but it remains unfinished.

Timeline

In September 2003, Elizabeth was injured in a hit and run with a few suspects. It could have been Faith, Ric, or Courtney. Courtney, at the time, was experience a very quick blink and you’ll miss it drug addiction storyline so she was high. She hit Elizabeth and fled the scene. Carly, with Lorenzo Alcazar’s help, got rid of the car. Jason learned the truth, but, uh, nothing happened. I’m not even lying. Everyone moved on.

The only purpose to the story was to end Courtney’s addiction and to shove LiRic back together. (Liz got her sight back after Ric pushed her to the ground. I shit you not.)


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It was early when he came to see her. He’d been up all night at the police department trying to get the charges against Courtney dropped. Finally, their lawyer had found a technicality and she was free to go.

But he went to see Elizabeth anyway. She was sitting up in her hospital bed, wide awake. She was eating breakfasta Kelly’s special instead of regular hospital food. Being the granddaughter of Steve and Audrey Hardy afforded her special privileges.

He stood in the open doorway, watching her fumble with her knife and fork. She kept missing her scrambled eggs and her hand was always just missing her glass of orange juice. But she stubbornly kept eating.

“Who’s there?” she asked sharply, suddenly becoming aware of another presence. She frowned. “If that’s you Ric, you can just turn around and leave.”

“It’s not Ric.”

“Jason?” she asked. Her face brightened for a moment before it settled into a blank expression, her lips thinned. “It’s kind of ironic that you’re here since Mac Scorpio just left.”

She knew. He could tell without even asking her. “Elizabeth”

“He told me that there was no doubt that Courtney hit me but that you spent all night trying to set her free and now she is. On a technicality.”

“She didn’t”

“She did,” Elizabeth said. She sighed. “I can understand why you did it though. I mean, she’s your fiance. You didn’t want her to go to jail.” She hesitated. “Did you know before she was arrested?”

“What do you mean?” Jason asked.

“I mean did you know that she hit me before she was arrested?” Elizabeth asked.

He didn’t answer for a moment and it was in that moment that she got her answer.

And then he lied.

“No, I didn’t know. I’m sorry, Elizabeth.”

She nodded. “Thank you for demonstrating exactly how little I mean to you. You can leave the same way you came in.”

He shook his head a littleit didn’t occur to him that she could no longer see him. “I don’t understand.”

“I think you do understand. I think you understand completely.” She picked her fork up and stabbed at some eggs. Her fork missed the plate again and scraped against the side of the dish. “I know we haven’t talked a lot this past year, but I thoughtI don’t know but I was stupid enough to think at least we were friends.”

“We are”

“Then why lie?” she asked coldly.

“I’m not lying.”

“That’s three, you want to go for four?” she demanded. “You want to tell me that you weren’t going to help her cover it up?” She laugheda self-deprecating sound that sent chills down his spine. “Of course, it explains her late night visit now. Finding out what I remembered, telling me not to call the police. It explains so much.”

“Three what?”

“Three lies,” she said shortly. “One, Sonny’s dead. Two, you didn’t know. Three, you’re not lying. Of course, if you want tack on the lies from that night in the penthouse, we’re up to six.”

“Okay, yes I knew,” he replied. “I found out late last night.”

“Were you going to cover it up?” she demanded.

“Do you mean was I going to let Courtney go to jail?” Jason retorted. “No.”

“No, were you going to cover it up?” Her eyes narrowed. “Were you not going to tell me? Were you going to let me spend the rest of my life in darkness without telling me who it was that took away my sight? My ability to paint, to work, to have any kind if life?”

“She wasn’t herself,” Jason said, instead of trying to answer her question. “She was going through a bad timeshe’d miscarried and we found out she can’t have children. She started taking pills”

“So, she was high?” Elizabeth demanded shrilly. “And that makes it okay? It makes it okay that she’ll get away with it? That I’m going to have to move in my grandmother now? That it will be months, maybe years before I can live on my own? I’m blind, Jason. I can’t see.”

“Look, it’s not the best situation but”

“No, there’s no but about it.” She shoved the tray of food away, sent it slightly swinging away from the bed. She sat up straighter and her eyes were glaring in his direction. He couldn’t look at herthe more he looked at her and saw the way she couldn’t really tell where he waswhere to look, the more he realized how much Courtney had stolen from her.

“You of all people should know that it’s no excuse,” she whispered, the fight suddenly gone from her voice. “Your accident happened because AJ was drinking.”

“It’s not the same thing,” Jason said, startled at the comparison of Courtney and AJ. “AJ is a drunk”

“Was a drunk,” Elizabeth corrected sharply, “and your fiance is an addict. It doesn’t matter why they startedit was a choice. They chose to take the drink or the pills and they chose to get into the car. It was a choice. And once, you would have understood why the thought of Courtney getting away with it just because she’s Sonny’s sister makes me ill.”

And she was right. If this had happened last yearhe would have had the same reaction. Courtney would have been cut off from both their liveshe would have seen to it that she paid for what she’d done to Elizabeth. He would have seen it the way Elizabeth did. Another addict destroying a life.

And God help him, he hadn’t seen that parallel until this second.

He cleared his throat. “You’re right. It’s not fair that she’ll get away with it.”

She frowned, her expression wary. “What?”

“I hated it when the Quartermaines covered for AJ and what I was going to do for Courtney would be no different.” He sat down in the chair and shook his head. “I’m sorry. For lying.”

“You never used to do that,” she said quietly. “Even if it made things betteryou never used to lie.”

“I never used to do a lot of things,” he said, regretfully. “I thought the blindness was temporary,” he said, changing the subject.

“They’re not sure anymore,” Elizabeth said quietly. “I started therapy last night.”

“Has Ric been bothering you?” he asked. “When I came in, you sounded like you expected him.”

“I think he’s practically living here. He comes by every hour on the hour as if I’m magically going to forget everything he did.”

“I can put someone on the doorto make sure he stays away,” Jason offered.

“You don’t have to do this,” Elizabeth told him.

“Look, I know it’s been a tense year but I was hoping we could put it behind us.”

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I’d like that,” she said quietly. “Thanks.”

“Any time.”

Inspiration

As I said, I was writing a lot of episode tags back in 2003, so there’s really not a lot of inspiration here.

Timeline

Back in April of 2003, the Ric storyline started to really heat up. Elizabeth was dating him, but literally everyone else knew he was complete trash. Jason had confronted her a few times on the topic of Ric, but she’d brushed him off. Ric kidnapped Courtney, and Jason was trying to find her. He told Elizabeth about what happened to Carly a few months earlier (he took advantage of her drugged state and made them think they’d slept together). This scene happened at the Corinthos penthouse, leaving off with Jason demanding Elizabeth tell him everything about Ric.


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April 23, 2003

Elizabeth shook her head. “I’m not telling you anything.” She glared at Jason and started to stalk towards the door. Jason grabbed her arm and spun her back around.

“If you don’t tell me, he’ll kill Courtney, is that what you want?” Jason demanded.

Elizabeth yanked her arm out of his grasp. “Go to hell,” she spat.

“Wait a second,” Carly cut in. Her brown eyes were panicked. “What about Courtney, where is she?”

“Ric knocked me out and took her,” Jason reported, ignoring Elizabeth’s scoff. “Sonny’s on his way to meet him, but Ric told him he put Courtney somewhere else.” He glared at Elizabeth. “Where would he take her?”

“Why should I believe a word either one of you say?” Elizabeth demanded. “Neither one of you would know the truth if it bit you in the ass.”

Carly took a deep breath. “Elizabeth, I know it’s difficult to believe this right now, but Ric is not the man he obviously led you to believe he was.”

“Stop it!” Elizabeth cried. “Why are you saying these things?”

“Because they’re true,” Jason snapped, impatiently. “Damn it, Elizabeth. You’re smarter than this.”

She whirled around and glared at him. “Don’t you dare presume to tell me what is and what is not true, do you understand me? I don’t believe a damn word you say!”

“I have never lied to you before,” Jason shot back. “So–”

“That’s a load of shit and you know it!” Elizabeth retorted. “You lied to me about Sonny and you lied to me about Courtney, so don’t try and act betrayed when I have a little trouble trusting you.”

Carly rolled her eyes. “Oh, do not tell me you’re still clinging to the idea that Jason was cheating on you. Grow up.”

Elizabeth glared at her. “Yeah? So why don’t you tell me why they were always together, claming to be friends and then poof, they’re sleeping together? Tell me how that one happened.”

“You think I was seeing Courtney behind your back?” Jason sputtered. “When in the hell would I have found time for that?”

Elizabeth’s eyes burned with tears. “I wouldn’t know. I never saw you.” She took a deep breath and looked at Carly. “All right. I’m going to ask you straight out and I want an honest answer. Do you honestly believe that Ric raped you?”

“Yes,” Carly said immediately. “Yes, I do, Elizabeth. I am sorry you got mixed up with–”

Elizabeth held up a hand. “Spare me the apologies. We both know you don’t mean it.” She folded her arms tightly. “Offhand, I can’t think of anywhere he’d take her, but he, ah, probably would have taken her some place that you can’t get to easily, but in plain site. You know, since he hasn’t lived here long.” She frowned and bit her lip. “There’s a construction site down the street from his apartment. Maybe there’s something there.”

“Thank you.” Jason left without another word.

Elizabeth wiped her tears away and turned to Carly. “I’m sorry for calling you a liar, but this isn’t easy for me,” she whispered. She started towards the door.

“Elizabeth, wait.” Carly took a step towards her and ran her hand through her hair, placing her other hand on her hip. “I hope you believe me when I tell you that I am sorry you got mixed with Ric.”

“If what you’re saying is true, then he’s either really good at lying or I’m just a schmuck,” Elizabeth murmured. “You’d think I’d learn to spot a liar by now, but apparently not.”

“Jason didn’t start seeing Courtney until after you left him,” Carly said quickly, not sure why she was telling this girl anything, but feeling the need to make her feel better in some way. She’d been dealt with a harsh dose of reality today and Carly didn’t feel right about her leaving like this.

“He probably didn’t,” Elizabeth allowed. “But I think she factored into why he decided I didn’t exist anymore. I can’t remember the last time we talked without yelling at each other or me blowing up. One day, we were together and the next I wasn’t even a blip on his radar,” she said softly.

“Have you ever tried to talk to him about it?” Carly asked, trying to suppress the sympathy she felt. Elizabeth had walked out on him, after all.

“He doesn’t understand,” Elizabeth said. “He thinks this was because he lied to me, and yeah, that’s part of it. But–” she stopped and shook her head. “I don’t know I’m telling you any of this.”

“Could you stay here?” Carly found herself asking. “Just until I hear from Sonny or Jason. Because I swear, just sitting here by myself is going to drive me up the wall.”

“Why would you want me to stay?” Elizabeth asked, surprised.

“Because the only friend I have this world other than Sonny and Jason has been kidnapped,” Carly remarked dryly. “And you’re about all that’s left.”

Elizabeth sat down and sighed. “Must be nice.”

Carly frowned. “Excuse me?”

“Having friends who’d do anything for you. Having friends to worry about when they’re gone, who worry about you when something’s wrong.”

Carly sank into the seat next to her on the couch. “Oh, please. Don’t play this with me. You have got tons of friends.”

“I used to.” Elizabeth glanced at her. “How did Sonny take it?”

“Take what?” Carly asked.

“The…thing about Ric.”

Carly shrugged. “He’s been good about it. I didn’t expect him to believe me, but I was thankful when did. I thought he’d think I was dirty at first, but he loves me just the same.”

“That’s good,” Elizabeth replied. She stared at her hands. “It’s good that you’ve got your friends around you. You’re gonna need them. Especially Sonny. I know after it happened to me…” she trailed off and shook her head. “I didn’t sleep for almost a week. Every time I closed my eyes…”

“If you don’t mind me asking…how long has it been?” Carly asked.

“Six years,” Elizabeth murmured.

“S-six?” Carly echoed. She did some mental math. “Jesus, you were only what? Fourteen?”

“Fifteen. It was a few months after my fifteenth birthday,” Elizabeth replied quietly. “Sometimes it feels like it’s been decades. And other days, it feels like–” She stopped.

“Feels like what?” Carly asked softly.

“It still feels like I’ve just crawled out of the snow,” Elizabeth breathed. She swiped at her eyes again. “There are some details that will stay with you, no matter how much you try to forget. The texture of the bench I was sitting on, the damp snow, the cold ground…”

“The smell of the sheets, the shag carpet and the yellow sink,” Carly said shakily. “I don’t know what’s worse, not remembering or remembering everything.” She rubbed her hands together. “On the one hand, you can remember it and your nightmares will replay it in your mind.”

“And on the other hand, you’re left wondering what happened. You have no idea what he did to you,” Elizabeth finished. She took a deep breath. “God, I hope I don’t have a nightmare about it tonight.”

“Does it happen often?”

“Not anymore,” Elizabeth replied. “But if I think about it or the anniversary is approaching–”

“It must be horrible, living like that.” Carly shook her head. “I don’t know what I’d do.”

“You get used to it after a while. It becomes a part of your life, something that it’s in your history, part of who you are.”

“I am sorry that it happened to you Elizabeth,” Carly told her sincerely. “I can’t imagine being that young and dealing with it as well as you apparently have.”

Elizabeth smirked. “You should have seen me in the year or so afterwards. I was scared of shadows, scared of everyone I knew. If someone sneaked up on me, I’d scream.” She frowned a little. “I was scared of Jason, too.”

“Scared of him?” Carly repeated. “Why?”

“I didn’t know him that well. He’s so…big, you know? And you hear things about him.” Elizabeth shrugged. “But I was scared of pretty much every guy that wasn’t Lucky, Luke or Nikolas. It’s kind of what happens when you have no idea who did it.”

“Did they ever find him?” Carly asked curiously.

“I found him by accident,” Elizabeth replied. “I was helping Emily find out who was blackmailing her and they turned out to be the same guy. He’s in jail for what he did to her.”

“How’d you meet Ric?” Carly asked suddenly.

Elizabeth frowned and looked at her. “What?”

“I’m just curious. How did you meet him?”

“I was at Luke’s” Elizabeth smiled a little. “It was the night Alcazar was killed, actually. I was waiting with Lucky to meet with Luke’s psychiatrist and I went up to get our drinks. Ric was at the bar…” she trailed off. “He was watching Sonny and you, probably.”

“Probably,” Carly replied. “I remember that night. I don’t remember Ric offhand, but it makes sense that he was around then.”

“He was looking inside the windows of Kelly’s later that night. He was pretty rude at the time, but I guess eventually–” Elizabeth looked away. “Oh my God…”

“What?” Carly asked.

“He didn’t startacting remotely interested in me until after I told him that I knew Sonny. Up until then, he’d been a jackass, really.” Elizabeth sighed and bit her nail. “He used me.”

“More than likely,” Carly replied. “Hey, I bought his act, too. Right up until Valentine’s Day.”

“Valentine’s Day?” Elizabeth asked. She frowned. “That’s when it happened?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I–” Elizabeth shook her head. “It’s just a strange coincidence, that’s all. I–I was–it happened on Valentine’s Day for me.”

“Huh,” Carly murmured. “That is strange.” She glanced at Elizabeth. “You’re not as awful as I thought you were.”

“You either.” Elizabeth smiled weakly at her.

The penthouse door flew open and Courtney and Jason came in. Courtney glared at Elizabeth. “What are you doing here?” she snarled.

Elizabeth stood. “I suppose that’s my cue to leave.” She looked at Carly. “Thanks for the conversation. It was interesting.”

Carly stood. “Maybe we could talk some more?” she suggested.

“I’d like that,” Elizabeth said softly. She turned to the duo. “I’m glad you’re all right, Courtney–”

“Save it,” Courtney cut in. “You helped Ric get away, you’re the reason any of this is happening!”

Elizabeth sighed and started past her. Courtney grabbed her arm, stopping her. “Will you let me go?” Elizabeth asked, tiredly.

“Courtney,” Jason said, putting a hand on her arm. “Just stop it. I wouldn’t have found you if it weren’t for her.”

“I bet Elizabeth was part of the plan,” Courtney said, ignoring Jason. “Isn’t that right?”

“You’re just being ridiculous now,” Elizabeth sighed. She arched her eyebrows. “You gonna let me go now?”

“God, Elizabeth, do you hate Jason that much that you’d try to set him up?” Courtney cried.

“Wait, what?” Elizabeth asked, frowning. “Are you delusional?”

“Courtney, just stop it,” Carly said. “Elizabeth wasn’t in on any of this–”

“I mean, you did tell Jason exactly where Ric shoved me, didn’t you?” Courtney accused.

“I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t,” Elizabeth replied, irritated. She yanked her arm away. “Can I go now?”

“Who is Ric and what does he want from my brother?” Courtney demanded.

“Believe, at this point, if I knew, I’d tell you,” Elizabeth replied. “I just hope he gets what he deserves and if I ever see him again, it’ll be too soon.”

“Oh, sure, Elizabeth, play the innocent victim,” Courtney snarled. “But I think we all know the truth.”

“What, that you’re a paranoid delusional nitwit? Yeah, I think we’re getting that,” Elizabeth retorted. “You know what, Courtney? I’m sick of this. I’m sick of your accusations, I’m sick of your petty little comments about how much Jason loves you, I’m just plain sick of it all. When you grow up and start acting your age rather than your shoe-size, maybe then–” she shook her head and chuckled bitterly. “You know, even then, stay the hell away from me.”

She glared at the blonde for a moment before stalking out of the penthouse.

Courtney rolled her eyes. “My God, what a drama queen.” She turned to see Jason and Carly staring at her. “What?”

April 10, 2014

Inspiration

If you follow my writing, you know the last time I was obsessed with the GH teen scene was back in 2003 when Scott Clifton joined Lindze Letherman (Georgie) and Robyn Richards (Maxie) as Dillon Quartermaine. I fell in immediate love with Dillon. He’s one of my four ride or die favs (AJ, Patrick, Dillon, and Elizabeth can do no wrong). I also had a huge crush on CJ Thomason and Andrew St. John who played Lucas Jones and Kyle Radcliffe.

I wrote quite a few GQ episode tags back then (Dillon & Georgie), but a lot of them were lost in when my computer crashed in July 2003. This story was meant to be part of a series, but the second story is lost. The title was retained, lol — It was going to be The Sweetest Thing with several stand alone stories. This was the first.

Timeline

This is set in the spring of 2003, probably late April, early May. Dillon has arrived in Port Charles, and Georgie has a huge crush on Lucas. Elizabeth is working at Kelly’s.


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I can do this. I’m strong. I’m independent. I’m a woman.

Okay, I’m fourteen.

But I’m still all of the above.

With those thoughts in mind, Georgie Jones took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and reached for the door handle to Kelly’s.

She pulled the door open and entered the small diner. You can do this, she chanted mentally. It’s not like you’re asking for much. You just want a job application.

She spied Elizabeth Webber working quietly behind the counter and after glancing around the diner, she determined that the manager, Bobbie Spencer, was not there. So, she’d deal with the only waitress she saw.

Besides, the way Georgie figured, Elizabeth Webber practically ran the diner. She was always there, always keeping everything calm. If a fight broke out, Elizabeth solved it. If a waitress called out sick, Elizabeth covered the shift.

Elizabeth Webber, Georgie decided, was one of the best people she knew. Although technically Georgie didn’t know Elizabeth all that well…but hell, everyone knew Elizabeth in some way.

“Um, excuse me,” Georgie said. She nervously tugged at the sleeve of her soft pink button down sweater. Pink, Georgie had decided, looked good on her. It complimented her dark blonde hair and lightened her brown eyes. Pink made her feel professional.

“Hey, Georgie,” Elizabeth greeted. “Can I get you anything?”

Georgie chewed her lip and took a deep breath. “A job application?”

Elizabeth widened her eyes. “A job application? You want to work here?”

“Um, yeah,” Georgie replied. She smoothed a hand over her light brown cords. Light brown, Georgie had decided, went well with a pink sweater and by not wearing jeans, she’d shed her teenage image and hopefully looked older.

At least sixteen.

Elizabeth looked around, hunted underneath the counter. “That’s great!” she said. “You know, I started working here when I was fourteen. God, I was such a horrible waitress. Spent far too much time looking at Lucky Spencer and too little time paying attention to what people ordered.” Elizabeth pulled a piece of paper out and handed it to her. “If you want you can fill it out now and I can give it to Bobbie when I drop off the night’s receipts later.”

“Sure,” Georgie replied. She slid onto a stool and opened her small purse. Small purses, Georgie had decided, looked more professional than big clunky ones. She fished out a blue Bic pen and uncapped it. “So, are you guys hiring?”

Elizabeth shrugged. “We’re always losing someone to college or better jobs.” She smirked. “I’m personally hoping we lose someone soon.”

Georgie grinned. “Courtney?” She regretted her word almost immediately when she saw Elizabeth’s face close off. Great, she offended the best chance she had at getting this job. Damage control. “I only say that because…well…um, you know…you hear things.”

Elizabeth folded her arms. “What kind of things?” Her tone had gone as cold as ice and Georgie was now miserable. She set her pen down. There went this job.

“Well…just that two of you don’t like each other,” she replied, dully. “I mean…she’s dating your ex-boyfriend and my sister told me that he broke up with you for her.” Georgie sighed and pushed the application away. “I’m sorry. I…I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Elizabeth sighed and the tension drained from her body. “No, look, don’t worry about it. You’re right, we don’t like each other but it’s not because she’s dating Jason.”

Georgie must have looked skeptical because Elizabeth continued. “I just don’t appreciate the way she constantly runs out on her shifts and calls out sick.”

“Oh.” Georgie shifted. “I still shouldn’t have said anything. I mean, I don’t want to remind of you…anything. Because, you know, I really admire you.”

That surprised Elizabeth and she smiled. “Really? Why?”

Georgie shrugged. “Everyone does,” she replied easily. “My sister thought you were great, the way you handle that Lucky thing last summer and I remember Roy DiLucca talking about how brave you were when Jason shot you last summer.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Jason did not shoot me. Zander did and it was a complete accident. Besides, the bullet didn’t really hit me.”

“It didn’t?” Georgie asked.

“No. Jason and Roy were fighting, and Zander, being the completely moronic hothead that he is, picked up a gun. Then Jason and Zander were fighting over the gun and the trigger was pulled.” Elizabeth slid the sleeve of her cornflower-blue shirt up to reveal a light pink scar on her upper left arm. “See? The bullet just grazed me.”

“Oh. Did it hurt?” Georgie asked, cringing as soon as she realized how stupid the question was.

“Well, I didn’t feel anything at first,” Elizabeth replied. “I think I was a little shocked. But it kicked in and I almost passed out. Jason caught me and he managed to bandage it.” She smiled and leaned forward a little bit, lowering her voice. “I’ll tell you a secret.”

Georgie, feeling much better about this right now, leaned forward eagerly. Being confided in by Elizabeth Webber! Take that, Maxie, she thought smugly.

“I didn’t feel anything until I got to the hospital because I was too busy looking at Jason,” Elizabeth told her, smiling.

“He is cute,” Georgie agreed.

“Uh huh. And it was just really easy to get lost in his eyes, you know?” Elizabeth said. “They’re an incredible shade of blue.” Her cheeks flushed and she leaned back. “But none of that really matters now. Anyway, go ahead and fill out that application. I’ll put in a good word for you.”

Georgie watched as Elizabeth headed onto the main floor to take care of a customer. She then turned in her attention back to her application.

“Whatcha doin’?”

Irritated, she looked up at the interruption. “I’m filling out a job application, Lucas,” she told him.

Lucas Jones frowned. “For Kelly’s?”

“Yeah. Why not?” Georgie asked, defensively.

Lucas smirked. “Why would you want to work here?”

“Because I like this place,” Georgie replied. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing. I just thought you had higher hopes than being another Elizabeth Webber.”

Georgie narrowed her eyes. She might like Lucas, but no one insulted her idol. “And what’s wrong with that?”

“Come on. She’s nice and all, but she’s twenty-one and still working in the same place as when we were kids.”

“Maybe she likes it here. Maybe she enjoys her job,” Georgie said hotly.

“And maybe she’s got no place else to go,” Lucas said pointedly.

“Can I get you anything Lucas?” Elizabeth asked from behind him. He spun on the stool to look at the unhappy waitress.

“Elizabeth.” Lucas swallowed. “I, uh…”

“For the record, I work here because I enjoy my job,” Elizabeth told him. “I like seeing the people I care about on a daily basis. It pays well and I have a flexible schedule so I can go to school and work on my art. I’m sorry if people think I’m pathetic because I have worked in the same place for the past five years, but I can’t be responsible for small-minded people. Now, I’ll ask you again. Can I get you anything?”

“I was just stopping by,” Lucas said quickly. He slid off the stool and passed her, his head ducked down.

“Sorry about him,” Georgie apologized as she signed her name and completed the application. “He thinks he knows what’s best for me and tries to tell me.”

“It’s fine,” Elizabeth replied, smiling briefly. “You get used to it after a while.” She took the application from the young girl and perused. “I’ll drop this off with Bobbie and I’ll call you when she makes a decision.”

“Thanks, Elizabeth,” Georgie said, sliding down from the stool. She put the pen away and smiled one last time at the waitress before leaving.

….

Elizabeth handed Bobbie the receipts and the day’s earnings so that Bobbie could drop it off at the bank on her way to the hospital the next morning.

“Georgie Jones dropped off a job application,” Elizabeth reported as Bobbie examined the receipts.

“Hmm…do we need another waitress?” Bobbie asked, making a note in the account book.

“We could use the help,” Elizabeth said honestly. “One of the waitresses tends to be slightly unreliable, so I’m sure Georgie will come in handy.”

“Which waitress?” Bobbie asked, even though she already knew.

“Courtney,” Elizabeth said. “But it has nothing to do with my personal feelings towards her, I just—”

“Elizabeth, it’s okay. I’ve had the other girls complain as well,” Bobbie interrupted. “Actually, there’s something I wanted to speak with you about.”

“What?” Elizabeth asked warily.

“I’m rarely at the diner these days between the hospital and Lucas, so I was wondering if you’d like to come on as assistant manager,” Bobbie suggested.

“Really?” Elizabeth asked. “Are you serious?”

“Definitely. So you can make decisions like this and not worry about me. I trust you, Elizabeth. You’ve been working there longer than anyone and you really understand the way it works.”

“Wow, I’d love to,” Elizabeth replied, smiling. “Thanks, Bobbie.”

“So, I’ll let you make the final decision concerning Georgie and Courtney. I’ll see you tomorrow, same time?”

“Sure,” Elizabeth replied. She picked up the receipts, intent on calling Georgie Jones first thing in the morning.

April 2, 2014

Timeline

It’s set vaguely in 2014, around February but you really don’t need to know much more than the general history of Elizabeth to get it.

Inspiration

This is a weird little ficlet I wrote in response to prompt from a writing book. You had to write one section beginning with this line: This is what she wants most in the world. and then the second beginning with: She is lying. This is what she wants most in the world.  So it just seemed like the thing to do when I came home from vacation.


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This is what she wants most in the world. She dreams of a second chance to tell the truth. Not one truth in particular, but any truth. All the times when she believed a lie was easier, all the times she tried to protect the people around her with false words…she knows now that the truth will always out.

She lied to protect herself when Lucky chose to go to the dance with her sister, to show she didn’t mind that she was always a consolation prize. She lied every time people asked her if she was doing okay when Lucky died, because they always looked so concerned and even if they knew she was dying inside, what could they do? They couldn’t bring him back, they couldn’t take it away. The lie was easier. Except she very nearly drowned in her lies. She lied without words every time Lucky kissed her and she wished for even the briefest of moments that he was someone else. She lied when she slept with Zander, lied to herself, to him, to Jason. She lied to herself that it meant something, because it had to mean something. She didn’t sleep around, that wasn’t who she was. She lied to Zander, led him to think there was something there that just never was. She lied to Jason, because she didn’t really care what he did to Zander, not really. Not in the scheme of things, not if it meant he would always look through her that way, without looking at her.

It’s almost pathological, a natural instinct to open her mouth and let lies fall from her lips. She lied every time she said she believed Ric, every time she said she trusted him and loved him. Because if she didn’t, she’d be alone, and she was terrified of being alone. She lied to Lucky every time she promised him she loved him best when they both knew they were both just settling. Neither had been happy in love since those halycon days before he died. That boy, her first love, had never returned, so neither had their love and they both knew it. They pretended otherwise, because it was easier to lie to each other and be together, than tell the truth and be alone.

She lied when she told Jason it could only be for one night. She wanted him to argue it, to pursue her, she always wanted him to fight for her, but no one ever did. Only Ric, and that wasn’t helpful. She didn’t want Ric to pursue her, but he was the only one who ever seemed to understand it’s not enough to say words, but follow through. Too bad his love almost killed her.

She lied every time she looked at Lucky told herself she would stick by him until the very end because she loved him, instead of the truth: She’d stick by him because there was nowhere else to go and he’d never abandoned that bleeding broken girl who’d crawled out from the snow. She lied when she turned down Jason’s marriage proposals and wished she’d accepted one of the first two because the third answer had been her honest one, and see there was the reward for telling the truth—nothing. Better to lie.

She lied when she promised she had finally accepted that they could never be together, that his life was too dangerous for a family, but that’s okay because Jason lied, too. He never loved her, she knows this now, because if he’d loved her and meant those words, he never would have had a family with the woman who had tried so very hard to destroy Elizabeth’s. She lied when she told Lucky they had a clean slate, because clean slates were imaginary. The hurt and anger would always be between them.

She lied every time she laid with Nikolas, because it was just another way to lie to herself, to maybe even destroy herself. She lied when she said she didn’t want Lucky to know, because wasn’t that the whole reason she did it? To finally shatter the permanent lock, to do something to drive him so far away from her, he’d never come back?

She lied to herself that she could get on with her life after the death of her little boy, but that was one lie she thought everyone could understand. She still woke in the mornings, took care of her other children, but the light was gone and nothing she could do would ever get it back. She lied when she chose between AJ and Nikolas because the truth was that she had tried very hard to care about them both, but her capacity for love was gone, and all that was left was the pretense.

She lied when she told Robin that she loved Nikolas because it seemed like the thing to say, and she thought Nikolas would leave Britt, to get away from her and her lies because she knew how poisonous a liar could be, just look at her life. All she’d ever done was lie, and all she had to show for it was three kids from three fathers, one of them had died because she couldn’t pay attention, none of the fathers were around, they couldn’t wait to run from her. She was a poisonous liar that didn’t deserve to be happy, which is why she could see it in Britt. Liars always recognize their own.

She lied because the lie was easier in the moment, but the truth would have been better in the long term and that’s the one inheritance from Lizzie Webber, the bitch she’d been before her world was shattered that night in the park, because Lizzie never thought in long-term, never thought about the future. The future couldn’t choke you the way today could. Better get through today, and let tomorrow take care of itself. Because some days it was all she could do get through today.

This is what she wants most in the world. To tell the truth.

She is lying. Again. This is what she wants most in the world. For someone to love her anyway, to understand that she might lie, but it’s instinct because telling the truth has never rewarded her. She’d been honest in her love for Lucky once, and he’d been torn from her. She’d been honest in her friendship with Jason, and he’d left her. She’d been honest with Jason that night in the penthouse, that she wanted to be with him, and he’d disappeared. She had been honest in wanting a life with him and family, but then he’d married another woman. What did honesty get you? No place better than the lie.

So this is what she really wants most in the world. For someone to love her for who she is. Lies and all.

April 1, 2014

Timeline

This is set in September of 2006, when Elizabeth was worried about the possible paternity of her second child, and she and Patrick were just starting to explore being friends. Patrick and Robin had only really just decided to pursue a serious relationship.

Inspiration

I’m sorry, have you seen Patrick’s dimples?


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September 10, 2006

Metro Court Hotel: Patrick Drake’s Room

Usually, Patrick was happy to see a beautiful woman at his door. In fact, it was only a year ago that he might have thought about charming said beautiful woman into coming in, staying a while–spending some quality time together.

But things were different now and even if he had a shot with this woman (he liked to think he had a shot with all women but this one might be an exception, she usually was) he was pretty sure the concept of a committed relationship meant that charming and seducing her was against the rules.

So instead he ushered Elizabeth Spencer into his hotel room and wondered why the upstanding married woman would be visiting him long after dark.

“I’m sorry to come over like this–” she hesitated, her big blue eyes scanning the room nervously. “I didn’t interrupt anything did I? I mean, I didn’t think–”

Rambling was usually the first and most obvious sign that she was troubled about something. So he took her by the shoulders and directed to her the sofa. “Sit.”

Elizabeth did as instructed, another sign that something was wrong since Elizabeth Spencer never did what she was told the first time. Or the first five times. Somewhat troubled himself now, he started to cross to the mini bar. “You want a drink?”

“I can’t,” Elizabeth said miserably. “I’m pregnant.”

Patrick bobbled the bottle of brandy and nearly dropped it. He set it down with a clink and turned to face her. “Well.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. He was just glad it was not another brunette sitting in front of him, telling him this and looking at him like he was supposed to fix it. He was just adjusting to the idea of monogamy, after all. “Well, I suppose I’ll have that drink after all.” He poured the liquor into a small glass and tossed back the whole thing. “I guess it’s a rocky time to be having a kid, with Lucky going through withdrawl but maybe it’ll help him focus, you know.” There, that sounded mature. Robin would be proud.

“Yes, that would be true,” Elizabeth sank her teeth into her bottom lip. “Except it’s probably not his.”

Another drink was clearly in order. Patrick poured another brandy. “I’m not going to ask,” he muttered to himself. “I’m not going to ask.”

“And I never would have said anything to you except you’re the only person that’s not connected to anyone,” Elizabeth continued. “Emily and Nikolas–they’re too close. My grandmother would never understand. And Jason–” she closed her eyes. “Well. I’m not ready to tell him yet.”

“Oh, good God…” The glass clinked heavily against the bar and he turned to look at her. “You’re not–he’s not–” This is why he didn’t have friends, Patrick reminded himself. Because inevitably they told you things that you really didn’t want to hear. He swallowed hard. “How do you know it’s not Lucky’s?”

“Because Lucky and I were together only once about six weeks ago,” Elizabeth admitted. “And we used condoms. And Jason and I–” she flushed and pulled at her lip some more. “We spent the night together, but, ah, it was more than–I mean to say–”

Patrick held up a hand and closed his eyes. “Please, if you ever cared about me, you’ll stop there.” He hesitated. “What are you going to do?”

Elizabeth huffed and stood, crossing to the large windows that looked over the harbor. “I wish I knew. That’s why I came to you–” She wrapped her arms around her shoulders. “What do you think I should do?”

“Well, that depends–am I the junkie or the criminal?” Patrick replied. He winced. “Not that I’m insulting your taste in men, so to speak. I’m only saying that–” He paused. “Well I don’t know what the hell I’m saying, Elizabeth. I’m the most self-absorbed person in the world, why would you ask me for advice?”

“Please,” Elizabeth snorted. “I’ve seen you with Robin. You’re only self-absorbed when you don’t care about the person you’re talking about.” She eyed him. “Unless I was wrong and we’re not friends–”

“No,” Patrick sighed, resigned to the fact that he was now part of this. “Look, who are you afraid to tell? Is it Lucky or Jason? Because if you’re afraid to tell Jason, then don’t–”

“No, no–” Elizabeth shook her head. “I’m not afraid to tell him. It’s just…I guess it looked like he was finally getting things together with Sam. And I think that this would–it would ruin things.” She pursed her lips. “It’s just–this last month, getting Lucky through the first stages of withdrawl and then–” she blinked. “I’ve been with him every step of the way, for the meetings, for the cold sweats and the more time I try to spend getting him through that…the more I–” She glanced back at him. “Do you think love can be killed?”

Patrick scrubbed his hand through his dark hair and wished like hell he’d sprang for that third drink. “I don’t think it can be killed, no. But I think it can be changed. I don’t think you stop loving someone, but maybe it gets changed into hate or pity or something, and I think it can happen in an instant or in a lifetime.”

“For someone who’s so self-absorbed, that was pretty deep.” Elizabeth smiled faintly. “I think that the moment I walked in on Lucky with Maxie Jones that my love for him either disappeared or it changed into hate, or maybe a mixture of pity and hate. I’m not sure. All I know is there used to be this warmth, this piece of me–” she pressed a fist to her chest, “–and that no matter what happened, no matter how we fought or the things he said to me, it was always there. But I opened that door and that part of me…it just froze.” She met his eyes. “And I realized that I’m not in love with my husband. Not for he is today, or even who he was a year ago when we got married. But I’m still in love with that sweet boy I knew a lifetime ago. The one that died in a fire and never came back.”

“So why did you stay with him after that?” Patrick asked after a long moment of silence.

“Because I promised for better or worse and for a while I thought it was just the worst part.” She shook her head. “But now I have to face facts. I’m pregnant with another man’s child, a man I care for and respect. And I have to find a way to tell my husband that our marriage is over without sending him back to drugs.” She glanced at the mini bar somewhat longingly. “I could go for a drink right now.”

“I wish that I could tell you what to do,” Patrick told her. “But I really don’t think there’s any way out of this situation that doesn’t suck. So I mean, if I were Jason–and I thank God I’m not–I’d want to be told immediately. I think that he’ll be able to suggest something better. I mean, he’s known you and Lucky longer, right?”

“Right.” Elizabeth reached for her purse which she’d dropped on the sofa. “I’m not even sure Jason is the father. I’m going to have to get a paternity test.” She wrinkled her nose. “I should just put in my application for Jerry Springer now.”

“I think Sonny Corinthos with the impregnation of a mother and a daughter is first in line,” Patrick said dryly. “Look, I can get the test done for you so that no one ever has to know it was performed, okay?”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” She hesitated. “Thanks for listening–you’re a good friend, Patrick.”

“Don’t let that get out,” he told her, pulling open the door. “The other nurses will beat a path to my door and then Robin will kick my ass.”

“Only if you let those nurses in,” Elizabeth warned him. “Don’t be an idiot. Though you’re a man, you’ve already got two strikes against you.”

“Perverse creature,” Patrick muttered as the brunette headed towards the elevators.

March 2, 2014

Story Notes: This story is one of a few Hand Me Down prequels I have in my head. It was originally going to be a standalone, but the more I wrote, the more I wanted it to be part of my own little universe.  This story picks in April 2008, long before the gender of the baby was revealed. It is told entirely from Patrick’s point of view.

Song: Lullabye (Goodnight My Angel) by Billy Joel

1

Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes

April 2008

“I like the yellow.”

Patrick nodded. “Yellow’s nice.”

Robin pursed her lips and tossed the fabric sample aside. “I think the green would be better.”

“I agree completely,” Patrick said. She eyed him and he held up his hands. “I have no opinion.”

“You have to have an opinion,” Robin stomped her foot. “This is your baby, too. What color do you want to see at three o’clock in the morning?”

“I don’t think any color is going to let me forget I’m about to change a stinky diaper.” Patrick pinched his nose. It had taken the better part of two weeks to convince Robin to move into his apartment and sublet hers to Maxie. His apartment had two bedrooms. It was closer to the hospital.

They had argued about it for days before Maxie had sat him down and carefully explained to him—in the strictest confidence, of course—that Robin was extremely insecure about the small dressing area she had for the nursery and talking about decorating a larger area in his apartment was a surefire way to get his way.

Maxie had had a twofold reason for helping him – one, she’d actually thought it be good for Robin to have a bit more full-time support and more importantly, two, she was making enough money to afford Robin’s apartment.

It had worked but now Robin thought he wanted to be part of this decorating process and whenever he’d voiced an honest opinion, she’d started to cry.

Apparently, agreeing with her wasn’t going to work either. Maybe shooting himself in the foot would clear things up.

“You have that look again,” she complained.

“What look?” Patrick answered.

“You hate this and you wish I had never moved in.” Robin flopped on the couch and sulked. “Because now you’re stuck with a fat girlfriend and you hate me.”

Oh good grief. Patrick sat on the edge of the coffee table. “Robin, you’ve gained ten pounds. No one even believes you’re almost four months along.”

“I am fat,” she repeated flatly. She dragged her shirt up and touched the tiny bump that protruded. “And I’m just going to get fatter. You won’t even be able to recognize me in a few months.”

“Sweetheart, I barely recognize you now,” Patrick said with a good-natured smile. He patted her knee. “You’re not fat, you’re pregnant. And hey, upside is that the bigger you get, the sooner you can feel the baby kick and you want that right?”

“Yes,” she said glumly. “But it’s taking forever.” She huffed. “And I can’t even settle on a color for the nursery. The entire thing is a disaster.”

“You can’t decide between the green and the yellow right?” Patrick said.

“They’re not really unisex. I mean, green is totally a guy’s color and yellow is so for a girl. What if I screw up this baby by choosing the wrong colors? Don’t laugh at me,” she warned, seeing the corners of his mouth curve up. “It’s not a silly thing to worry about! Stupid things screw up kids all the time.”

“I don’t doubt that,” Patrick said. “We can do this one of three ways. We can close our eyes, pick a color and hope for the best, we can wait to decorate the nursery until after the baby is born—”

“Pfft!”

“Or we can go to our ultrasound next week and ask Kelly to tell us the sex of the baby.”

“I want it to be a surprise,” Robin said stubbornly. She crossed her arms.

“Okay, then we can do it this way. Kelly will tell me the sex of the baby. I will tell Maxie and she will decorate the nursery.”

“I want to decorate the nursery!” Her eyes filmed over with tears. “That nursery should be created by this child’s parents, not an aunt who’s…” she searched for the right word. “Who’s Maxie.”

“Okay, then Kelly will tell me the sex and I will decorate the nursery,” Patrick said, running out of patience. He waited for her to veto the suggestion.

Instead, she stared at him. “You’d do that?” Robin asked softly. “Really?”

He hesitated. “Yes,” he replied warily. He was never quite sure what the right answer was anymore.

“That is the sweetest thing!” She wrapped her arms around his neck and smacked a loud kiss on his lips. “You are going to be the best daddy.”

Relieved, he joined her on the couch and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He wasn’t so bad at this after all.

And then it hit him of course.

He’d just agreed to decorate a nursery. Without Maxie’s help.

Crap.

2

And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you’ve been asking me

April 2008

“This is going to be a little cold,” Kelly warned as she smeared the clear gel across Robin’s bump. She grinned up at Patrick. “You excited for this, Daddy?”

“Sure,” Patrick said, mostly because it was expected and he figured it would make Robin happy. Or she’d be less likely to cry. His goal for the day was to say or do as little as possible because just about everything that came out of his mouth these days upset her.

She was a minefield and he kept smacking up against them.

He was definitely interested in seeing this ultrasound. The baby wasn’t abstract to him, but neither was it really concrete. He still was unsure if he could pull off being a father with any kind of success but he was willing to try very hard. He was secretly hoping that the paternal gene would kick in after viewing the ultrasound.

It worked in Nine Months after all.

“So, are we checking for the sex today?” Kelly inquired, reaching for the little wand she’d rub over Robin’s tummy.

“I still don’t want to know but Patrick volunteered to decorate the nursery,” Robin said with a wicked smile. “So he gets to find out.”

You’re going to decorate the nursery?” Kelly repeated. She stared at him. “For real?”

“I’m perfectly capable of buying some furniture,” he muttered.

“You’re not just choosing furniture!” Robin protested. “It’s a color scheme, a concept! This is the room that our child is going to be spending a lot of time in. It has to feel like home!”

He saw her lower lip tremble and wanted to throttle Kelly. “Of course. I’m going to stop at the bookstore and stock up on some design books. The room will be perfect, I promise.”

Kelly clearly had her doubts but she tactfully kept them to herself. She switched the screen on. “Well, let’s see if Baby Drake is willing to help Daddy out and give us a color to work with.” She fiddled a bit and smiled. “Here we go.” She turned the screen to face them. “Everything looks fabulous.”

“Wow.” Patrick blinked. He’d seen ultrasounds before, had watched them on television so he knew that he would be able to see the head and the limbs but maybe there was something to that daddy gene kicking in at the ultrasound. That was his kid on the screen, after all. Half him, half Robin. Pretty cool concept.

“Everything’s normal?” Robin asked anxiously. “I haven’t gained much weight.”

“Sweetie, you’re going to wake up one morning and wish you hadn’t complained about not gaining the weight. You’re going to have a basketball there.” Kelly grinned. “But, everything is normal. Right size.” She hit a few screens. “Baby Drake is also going to help Daddy with the color scheme but I’ll save that for when you’re changing.” She patted Robin’s hand. “You’re going to get some energy back; you’re into your second trimester. The nausea is going to fade a bit, but it might not go away.”

After she’d sent Robin out of the room, Kelly held out the ultrasound photo to Patrick. “Congratulations, Daddy, you’ve got a very healthy daughter.”

“Daughter.” Patrick sat back down on the stool hard. “Christ. I don’t know anything about daughters.”

Kelly arched an eyebrow. “They’re not that much different than sons.”

“But they are,” Patrick said. “There’s going to be ballet lessons and lacy dresses and boys are going to want to touch her.” He frowned. “I’m going to go to jail for beating up boys, aren’t I?”

“It’s a possibility.” Kelly patted his shoulder. “Cheer up. You could get a tomboy that likes to play sports. You could even teach her to appreciate the finer art of race cars.”

The idea started to appeal to him but then he remembered just how fast those cars could travel and no way in hell was his kid getting in a car like that!

“She can watch,” Patrick said. “But that’s it.”

3

I think you know what I’ve been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you

May 2008

Patrick planted his hands on his hips and glared at the wallpaper in the second bedroom. He’d bought some books, watched a few television shows. How hard could it really be to strip the wallpaper?

Very difficult apparently as he was into hour three and had only managed half a wall. He still had four months to accomplish it but he was beginning to wish he hadn’t volunteered to do this. With his luck, it would be all wrong and Robin wouldn’t let their kid sleep in here a night before wanting to change it.

“Any fumes in there?” she called. “Or colors I shouldn’t see?”

“Other than the crap green that was already here,” he muttered. “Fumes are gone, I’m taking a break.”

Robin entered and sat on the floor cross-legged, a notebook in front of her. “I have a few things we need to discuss.”

“Wonderful,” Patrick said, trying to sound sincere. “Where do we start?”

“First…” Robin glanced up. “Can you sit down, too? My head is going to ache if you keep this up.”

Patrick folded his long legs into the same cross-legged style. “Okay, shoot.”

“First,” Robin repeated, “I wanted to tell you that I really do appreciate how supportive you’ve been, even when I’ve been a little…” she hesitated, “unstable.”

“Nothing to it.”

“You didn’t exactly sign up for this and you’re really going out of your way to be a good guy.” She stopped. “I know we haven’t really established this, but I thought we should put it into terms. I’m living here, we’re sharing a bed, so you know, I guess we’re back together.”

“I had assumed that, yes.”

“Good, good, that takes care of another item.” She actually marked it off. “So even when I get really fat and unbearable, you won’t leave me right?”

Patrick scrubbed a hand over his face. “That’s a trick question right? If I say of course not, you’re going to assume I think you’re going to get fat and unbearable and sock me. If I say yes, you’re going to sock me. If I say nothing, you’re going to sock me. So just go ahead and sock me.”

She smiled faintly. “I’m sorry, I know I haven’t been very easy to deal with. My emotions are all over the place and I’m sure if feels like everything I ask you is a declaration of war. I’m trying to work on that.”

“Okay, with that in mind, then I can say that I love you,” he said. “I don’t love you because you’re thin and let’s face it, you’ve never been easy going. Most of our relationship has been somewhat prickly, so I don’t really see that changing because your hormones get a bit whacky and you’re not going to be fat, you’re going to be pregnant. Also, I knocked you up so I can’t complain much. You’re going to give me a kid, right? So it’s a win-win situation.”

“Are you…looking forward to this baby a little more?” she asked softly. “I guess…I want to know if you want the baby.”

“Kelly told me the sex of the baby,” Patrick said, “and I have to say, it did change things a little. I was always going to step up and do the right because that’s the way my mother raised me but I could kind of picture the baby now. And while the future scares the hell out of me, it’s not because I’m going to have a kid, it’s because of all the things in that world out there that the kid can get a hold of that’s going to hurt them. That is a very scary world out there, Robin, with poisons and bad people and people who speed on residential streets. Can we just leave the kid in one of those playpen things until its eighteen?”

She laughed and leaned forward to kiss him. “That’s very cute. No.”

4

And you should always know
Wherever you may go

June 2008

“I need a favor.”

Elizabeth blew the excess steam from her hot chocolate and sipped it gingerly. She grimaced. “Still too hot.” She looked at Patrick. “What kind of favor? My shift starts in ten minutes.”

“That’s fine.” Patrick dropped a stack of books on the table. “I’m back from break about then anyway. I need you to be my lookout. I can’t leave these around the apartment because she’ll see and if she does see them, she’ll know the sex of the baby.”

“Ah.” Elizabeth moved to the doorway of the break room and kept a look out while peering at the books he was opening. “Wallpaper samples? So the rumor’s true?”

“In an act of desperation, yes, I agreed to decorate the nursery.” He thumbed through the pages. “I mentioned that I was getting paint samples and she was horrified. She wants wallpaper. I barely managed to strip the existing stuff without screwing it up but that’s okay. That’s why they have shows like Bob Vila right?”

“Of course,” she said soberly. She glanced at the samples. “So a boy, huh?”

“Yep. Kelly thought it was a girl first but then the baby turned in another direction last week and she changed her mind.” Patrick turned the page. “I’m a little relieved because, you know, boys are okay. I was one, so I think I’ll be able to cope. Girls come with a whole set of issues I know nothing about.”

“I want a little girl,” Elizabeth said wistfully. “When Jake’s a little older, I’m definitely going to convince Jason we should have another baby. But he’s not ready to even set a date.” She paused. “I should be grateful he didn’t just call off the engagement.”

“You should be mad he didn’t set you free,” Patrick grumbled. “Stop reminding me about your unfortunate taste and keep a watch. It’s Wednesday.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Robin has specific reactions on certain days when I do something that upsets or offends her,” Patrick explained. “On Sundays, Tuesdays and Fridays, she just cries. On Mondays and Tuesdays, she socks me. Saturdays are tricky. It might be either one.”

“And Wednesdays?”

“She socks me and then she cries. It’s my least favorite day so I try to keep my interaction with Robin limited to a smile and a nod. It’s worked well so far.” Patrick held up a sample. “I like this one.”

“Racing cars,” Elizabeth nodded. “Clearly the right choice.”

5

No matter where you are
I never will be far away

June 2008

“We have to talk about names.”

Patrick paused, wiping the sweat from his brow. It was his third attempt to get the wallpaper to stick to the wall. No matter how many times he painstakingly followed the directions in the book, it still bulged in spots. Maybe it was time for another book.

Robin’s voice came to him from the other side of the door. He knew it was difficult for her not to at least peek inside but so far her willpower was holding up. “Names,” he repeated.

“Yes, names. I made up a list of the ones I like but I thought I’d ask you first.”

Patrick continued to press another sheet of the paper to the wall, smoothing it down. “Um. What do you like?”

“Well, I don’t want anything that will get the kid laughed at but I want something strong. That would sound just as nice when they’re five as when they’re thirty. I was talking to Lulu the other day and I just thought—God what was Laura thinking? Lulu is cute for a little girl but ridiculous for a grown woman.”

He’d never thought Lulu Spencer was much of a grown woman, but he wasn’t about to expound on that. “Sounds about right. Wouldn’t want a kid named Bambi. Doesn’t sound right after a certain age.”

“Bambi never sounds right,” Robin said, exasperated. “So I also thought we should think of something that’s nickname friendly. I hate that the only thing people can call me is Robbie. It’s like, longer than my name.”

“Ian calls me Pat sometimes,” Patrick mused, pleased when the sheet of wallpaper appeared to stay nice and smooth. “But he only does it because he knows I hate it.”

“Exactly. So I was also thinking about naming him for someone in my family. What about Noah for a boy?”

“No,” Patrick said shortly. “What about Robert?”

“I’m already named for him, so I don’t want to saddle a third generation with that.” She pursed her lips. “But Anna for a girl is nice.”

“I like Anna.” Patrick started on another piece. Maybe he was finally making progress. “What about Malcolm?”

“Malcolm,” Robin repeated. “It’s a little out of fashion,” she said slowly. “But it can be shortened to Mac or Mal which works out well. I like it.”

“Good. Malcolm for a boy, Anna for a girl.” It was the first time she’d easily accepted one of his suggestions and he was proud of himself. Maybe he was going to be okay at this after all.

The piece that he’d just finished started to peel off the wall.

Damn it.

6

Goodnight, my angel
Now it’s time to sleep

 June 2008

“What do you mean you haven’t told your mother?”

Patrick narrowed his eyes, watching Robin shove a whole cookie in her mouth at once. “Robin.”

“It never came up.” Except she tried to say it with a full mouth, so it sounded more I nevaw ca u.

“Robin.” Patrick shoved himself up off the couch. “If your mother doesn’t know, then I guess neither does your father.”

Robin swallowed and chased it down with a swig of milk. “I suppose that’s entirely possible.”

“By entirely possible you mean that’s exactly what’s happening here,” Patrick said flatly. “You didn’t tell your parents.”

“I couldn’t!” Robin stood and planted her hands on her hips. “My mother is not ready to hear that she’s going to be a grandmother and my father, oh my God, my father—”

“Is probably going to string me up by my thumbs,” Patrick muttered. He went to the phone book and started to thumb through the pages. “If I can find a justice of the peace who’d be willing to marry us over the phone, I think I can probably save my life.”

Robin frowned. “What was that?”

“Because your parents are in the elevator, on their way to this floor and if you’re unmarried when Robert Scorpio walks through that door and sees…” he gestured towards her protruding belly, “…that and finds out you’re not married? You’ll never get the chance to be a widow because I’ll already be dead.”

“Now you’re overreacting.”

“That’s rich coming from the woman who cried over a Hell’s Kitchen episode,” Patrick grumbled.

“I didn’t think Vanessa should go home!” Robin stomped her foot.

“Can we please focus?” Patrick demanded. “Look, can you just tell your dad we’re married so he won’t kill me?”

“He’ll ask for proof.”

“You’re right.” Patrick dropped the phone book. “I’m pretty good under pressure but I don’t think I’d be able to create a marriage certificate in the next two minutes. Are you any good with Photoshop? We could stick a white dress on you in something we already have.”

“Patrick. You’re babbling.”

“Wait…I’ve got an idea that I just might be able to pull off.” Patrick crossed to the coat closet and dug around the top shelf. “You go lock the door so we can stall them.”

“I am not going to lock the door. Besides, my parents can pick a lock.” She watched him pull down the locked gray metal box and then root around in the desk for his keys. “What are you doing?”

“Just wait a second. How much longer do we have?” he asked, inserting the key in the lock. He threw the box open.

“Probably a minute,” Robin replied.

“Should be enough.” He withdrew a velvet box. “I was saving this for later, for our two year anniversary, but an emergency is an emergency.”

“We have an anniversary?” Robin said. “What are we celebrating in June?” She gasped. “Are we celebrating the first time we broke up—”

“We took time off, we did not break up,” Patrick muttered. “And no, I was saving it for the blackout because that when I knew I was in love with you.”

“That’s sweet, but you forget what came after that. I think you sleeping with someone else constitutes an actual breakup,” Robin pointed out, hands on her hips.

Again, the focusing could use some work.” He took her hand, flipped open the box and showed her a diamond solitaire ring. “Marry me.”

“I feel like I’ve missed a step,” Robin said. “Shouldn’t you be down on one knee?”

“Hey, you’re the one that didn’t tell your parents about the baby,” Patrick pointed out. “If you wanted a real romantic proposal, maybe something better than a five minute warning would have been nice.”

“If you’d actually had a romantic proposal, I probably would have thought it was a sick joke,” Robin said, tapping her chin. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you’re glaring at me at a moment like this.”

“We’re down to like thirty seconds here.” Patrick plucked the ring from the box. “Are you going to marry me or not?”

“I can’t wait to tell our kid about this moment one day,” Robin sighed with a fake dreamy smile. “Your father was glaring at me and demanding an answer with Grandma and Grandpop on our front step.”

“We’ll lie to the kid, parents do it all the time.” Patrick narrowed his eyes. “Don’t make me tackle you and shove this on your finger.”

She pursed her lips and took the ring from him, studying it. “How long have you had this?” she asked curiously.

“About ten years,” Patrick answered. At her questioning look, he exhaled slowly. “It was my mother’s. She left it to me in her will.”

“Oh.” Robin bit her lip. “But you kept it here in the apartment. Instead of the deposit box where you keep all your documents and that cute coin collection—”

“I think I heard the elevator ding. Can’t you just say yes?” Patrick asked.

“I think I’ll give you an answer when you tell me why you want to marry me,” Robin said, arching an eyebrow. “And to save your own hide is not a good enough reason.”

“I told you,” he said, exasperated. “I was saving it for next week. I got it out of the bank a few days ago so I could have it cleaned and polished. And I’m asking you because I love you.” There was a knock at the door. “And if you even love me a little, you’ll say yes before your dad walks in here.”

Robin slid the ring on her finger and leaned up on the tips of her toes. “Yes,” she whispered against his lips. “But only because you asked so sweetly.”

7

And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay

 July 2008

With a flourish, Patrick smoothed over the last of the racing car wallpaper and stepped back with a triumphant grin. For a month, he had slaved in this room stripping the old paper and forcing the new stuff up. He’d thought about quitting, thought about calling in reinforcements a thousand times, but now…

His hands at his waist, he did a slow turn around the room. Now…he was glad he had impulsively promised to decorate the nursery. He’d been terrified when he thought he’d bring a daughter into this room, and then less so when Kelly had corrected her earlier estimation to a boy.

Still, you could really screw up a son. You could be too hard on them, push them too far…you could neglect them for your own career and desires. There were so many things he thougt he might be responsible for now that he might not have been with a daughter. Robin would have handled the uncomfortable discussions and the girl related stuff.

Patrick was going to have talk to their son about sex, about girls, and maybe even answer uncomfortable questions about love. So maybe a son was more terrifying than a daughter, after all.

But this…this room was one step on the right road. The first job he’d have as a father, to create a place for his son to sleep, to grow. Just a few more months until he could bring him home.

“Patrick?” Robin knocked on the door. “Did you finish? We’re meeting Elizabeth and Kelly for dinner in a little while, so you should get cleaned up.”

“Yeah, I finished.” He cleared his throat. “Do you want to come in and see?”

“Um…yes.” The door started to push open but then it stopped. “But I shouldn’t. I’m due in two months, I can wait to find out.”

He grinned. “Really? Because I’d love to get your opinion on what I picked out.”

There was a silence, as Patrick pictured his fiance battling her urges. Finally…

The door opened, and Robin gingerly entered, her dark eyes sweeping over the blue walls with red and white racing cars. She pressed a hand to her mouth and looked at Patrick, her eyes wet. “A…boy?”

“Yeah.” He crossed to her and took her hand in his. “I still have to do the carpet, before we start setting up your baby shower gifts.”

“Oh, Patrick…” She pressed a hand to her belly. “We’re having a little boy.” She looked up at him. “And you did exactly what you promised to do. You did the nursery. And it’s perfect.” She stretched up to kiss him. “I am so lucky.”

He covered her hand over their son. “I’m the lucky one.”

8

And like a boat out on the ocean
I’m rocking you to sleep
The water’s dark
And deep inside this ancient heart
You’ll always be a part of me

August 2008 

Elizabeth patted his bow-tie, grinned and stepped back. “Are you ready to be a husband?”

“Well…” Patrick returned her smile. “How different is it being married than living with someone?” He tugged at one of her curls. “You’ve got some experience there.”

Elizabeth laughed. “It’s the same, but it’s not.” She pursed her lips. “It’s one thing to share a living space, and you can even pledge each other everything, but there’s something about standing in front of your family and friends and promising to cherish one another for a lifetime.”

Patrick looked towards the door that would lead him through to the rest of the church. “I can’t wait to do that, you know. I never thought this would be my life, that I’d ever want to find someone to spend my life with, much less have a family with, but I saw Robin and I never looked back.”

“You’re going to be a great father.” Elizabeth smiled. “And let me tell you, I am ridiculously excited to be the best woman. This is the most fun I’m going to have…” Her nose crinkled. “Well, until it’s your turn and you can walk me down the aisle.”

Patrick heaved a sigh. “Well, if you’re going through with it.” He reached into his pocket and held out his mother’s wedding ring. “You ready for this part of the ceremony?”

“Absolutely.” Elizabeth closed her hand around it and looked at him, her eyes misting. “I love you both so much and I can’t think of two people who are more perfect for one another. Your kids are going to grow up with mine, and we are going to have the best time.”

“All right, all right,” Patrick chuckled, but his throat felt tight. “Let’s go make me a husband, so I can hurry up and be a father.”

9

Goodnight, my angel
Now it’s time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be

August 2008

Robert Scorpio paused at the end of the aisle, refusing to allow his daughter to release his hand. “You understand that I am giving you the most precious gift in the world.”

“Dad,” Robin hissed.

“I do, Mr. Scorpio.” Patrick noddled solemnly, not taking his eyes off his beautiful pregnant almost-wife. “And you have my permission to issue any threat you deem necessary.”

Robin rolled her eyes, but Patrick saw Mac nod his approval from the first row. Robert finally released her hand, and Patrick took hers in his own.

“Ladies and gentleman,” the reverend began, “family and friends, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the joining of Patrick Drake and Robin Scorpio in marriage. With love and commitment, they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife. They have decided to write their own vows.” He looked at Patrick. “Would you like to begin?”

Patrick took a deep breath and looked into the dark eyes of the most beautiful woman on the planet. “I did not like you the first time I saw you,” he told her, and she laughed, because she knew the feeling had been entirely mutual. “But you got under my skin until I tricked you into making the first move.”

“Oh, really?” Robin grinned. “That’s not how I remember it.”

“Hush,” he teased. “It’s my turn.” He cleared his throat. “I never pictured myself as a husband or a father because I never thought I could find anyone I wanted to spend my life with. Until you. And now, I can’t picture myself with anyone else.” Tears gathered in the corners of her eyes, one sliding down her cheek. “You make me a better man, and it humbles me that you decided I was worth spending your life.” He glanced down at her belly, where their son rested. “To create a new life with. My promise to you is to be a better man tomorrow than I was yesterday, and to love you for the rest of my life.”

10

Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me

September 2008

“I have never hated a man more than I do right now.” Through gritted teeth, Robin glared at him. The sweat was rolling down her face and her hair was matted around her face.

“I know.” Patrick squeezed her hand. “More ice chips?”

“Let me tell you what you can do with your ice chips,” she snarled.

And so it went for another hour, and had for three previous. Contractions did not make Robin a happy woman, though from what Patrick understood of the process, he thought she was being rather nice.

Elizabeth handed him another cup of ice chips. “Kelly says it won’t be much longer.”

“Oh, what does Kelly know?” Robin bit out, collapsing against the bed.

“Rather a lot, I should think,” Patrick said under his breath, but Elizabeth whacked him. He exhaled sharply. “Is there anything else I could be doing that I’m not?” he asked Elizabeth.

“Why are you asking her?” Robin demanded. SHe pointed at her belly. “I’m the one in need.”

“I’m going to go…set myself on fire.” She squeezed Robin’s hand. “I’ll go talk to your uncle and parents, update them.” She squeezed his shoulder.

“So is there anything I could be doing that I’m not?” Patrick asked her. “Do you want Maxie to come in and sit with you? Your mom? Someone who isn’t a man?”

“No.” Robin sighed and looked at him. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?”

“No, you’re a woman in labor. I wouldn’t want this job for all the money in the world,” Patrick said. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You know how I hate pain.”

Her laughter was tinged with exhaustion. “I just want him to be here already. I’m tired of waiting. I want to bring my son home and put him that beautiful nursery his father created for him. I want…” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Oh man, here comes another one.”

12

Someday we’ll all be gone
But lullabyes go on and on

September 2008

While Robin slept, Patrick sat in front of the bassinet holding his son. His son. Man. That was never going to get old. As long as he lived, no matter how many children he and Robin had, there would always be this first moment where Patrick looked at this baby and knew he was physical representation of their love for one another.

Malcolm Robert Drake. When they had revealed him to Robin’s family, he’d thought Mac might lose it, knowing his grand-nephew was going to carry his name. Though Patrick loved his own family, he wanted to honor Robin’s family in this way, because they were going to be in Port Charles watching Mal grow up.

“You’re two hours old and already I love you more than anything else in this world,” Patrick murmured. He reached down and brushed a knuckle down his son’s cheek. “I’ve waited months for you to get here, but now that you’re here…” He chuckled. “Man, it’s so much better than I thought it would be, but…God, so much more terrifying.” He exhaled slowly. “I can’t promise I’m not going to make mistakes, but I’m going to do my best not to screw you up too much.”

His throat thick, Patrick glanced away for a moment. “So, how about we agree that since this is your first time being a son and mine as a father, we’ll learn it as we go along.”

He laughed lightly and swiped at his eye. “But no matter what happens, I will never stop loving you.”

They never die
That’s how you and I will be

February 16, 2014

Timeline

14 February 2014, post the Elizabeth/Britt confrontation in which Elizabeth tells Britt she knows the truth about Ben’s paternity, and before Nikolas comes home at the end of the episode.

Inspiration

I was just getting back into writing at this point, and I just felt like writing an episode tag, lol.


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Why was it that after an argument, she could always think of at least a thousand things she should have said instead of remaining silent or offering weak protestations? Why…why had she allowed Britt to have the upper hand?

Elizabeth stepped off the launch and stood motionlessly on the docks for a moment, trying to find the righteous anger she’d had when she’d gone to Wyndemere that evening. Yes, what Britt had said was true. She did still care for Nikolas, and in many ways, did hope that the news Britt had used Dante’s sperm to impregnate herself would separate them, but not for the reasons Britt had insinuated.

Before their affair, something for which Elizabeth would never forgive herself, they had been family and best friends for most of her life. How could she allow Nikolas to continue falling in love with a woman who would do something like this? Yes, she had lied to Jason about Jake, and she wasn’t proud of it, but she hadn’t tricked Jason into fathering Jake.

Elizabeth withdrew the second copy of the paternity test. She didn’t like Britt–that was for sure. In fact, she loathed her for all the pain she had brought to Patrick’s life, for the way she had tortured Sabrina, and for what she was doing to Dante and Lulu. She wasn’t close to either of them these days, but once, Lulu had been part of her family—was still the aunt to her boys.

Why hadn’t she just listed those reasons? There were a thousand reasons someone should have hunted down the truth.

“Aunt Liz!” Spencer rounded the corner and grinned. “Hey!” He narrowed his eyes. “Where’s Cameron? He’s not with Emma is he?”

“No.” Elizabeth smiled and lifted her eyes to Nikolas. “No. I just came from speaking with Britt.”

Nikolas frowned. “About what?”

She tapped the paper against her hand, but Spencer was present and didn’t deserve to be in the middle of this. “I think you should ask Britt why. I’m going to see Dante and Lulu.” She started for the stairs but turned. “And when you know, remember that it has nothing to do with what she thinks it does. I did it because it was the right thing to do, and that should be enough for everyone involved.”

“Elizabeth—“ He looked down at Spencer. “Go wait for me on the launch.”

“But Dad—“ Spencer closed his mouth when he saw his father’s look and left.

Nikolas looked at Elizabeth. “I thought you were going to start over with Britt.”

“I may have three children with three men,” Elizabeth began, “and I know I had an affair with my fiancé’s brother, and maybe I can be sanctimonious at times.” She pursed her lips. “But I don’t think that just because you and I have a history, I should be expected to ignore when people are doing reprehensible things to people I care about and respect.” She tilted her head. “I lied to you. I had no intention of starting over with Britt. I learned something about her today that just confirms what I knew all along. I may not be the best person on Earth, but on my worst day, I don’t come close to Britt Westbourne.”

“Damn it, Elizabeth—“

“And if she doesn’t have the courage to tell you everything she’s done to your face…well,” Elizabeth shrugged. “She didn’t deserve the courtesy head’s up I just gave her before I go blow her secrets up.” She paused, a foot on the step. “I will always care for you, Nikolas, and part of me wishes we could have been something else, but the damage we caused will always be enough for me to step back and stop from doing it again. My self-respect is worth more to me. I’ve worked hard to get it back after everything that happened.” She eyed the island, in the distance. “You should go home and ask Britt what’s going on. If she loves you at all, she’ll tell you the truth.”

She turned her back on her oldest friend and walked away to tell Dante he was a father. She could never go back in time and tell Jason the truth from the beginning, not have an affair with Nikolas, or tell Jason the truth about Sam’s baby.

But in this case, she could do the right thing from the start.

February 12, 2014


Inspiration

By the time Nikolas lost his memories in April 2004, I was completely over the Nikolas/Emily storyline, although I had liked them initially. Emily, as a character, was a complete loss for me. I didn’t enjoy the actress and I hated the way they trashed Zander as a character in order to build them up.

So when Nikolas first started sharing scenes with Mary Bishop, I kind of liked it. I liked the actress, as well. But the writers never gave them a chance, and it annoyed me. So I thought about going back to do something with it, but I never really picked up steam with it. It was going to be a series of stories, but I’ve decided to combine them into one.

Timeline

In 2004, Nikolas was presumed dead, but had lost his memory, and there was this ridiculous storyline in which Mary Bishop pretended he was her dead husband, Connor. I really liked the actress and thought she had good chemistry with Nikolas, but the show made her insane and she ended up killing Sage Alcazar, another character the show drove to uselessness. So, this picks up.



Childhood sweethearts. Destined for each other. Soul mates. Mary Bishop had heard it over and over growing up in Ithaca, New York. She and Connor were meant to be together. Since he’d pulled her hair and she’d pushed him into the sandbox when they were five years old.

Picture perfect. Junior Proms, Homecoming Dances, Senior Prom, Graduation, College. Every step of their lives, they were together.

He’d proposed when they were eighteen but decided to wait until they were out of college to get married. He’d gone into the service during college and after their wedding last spring, he’d been transported to Iraq.

And he’d been shipped home that summer.

She’d left Ithaca to get away from those faces. Those well–meaning family members and friends with their expressions full of sympathy and sorrow. At first, she’d welcomed it. Welcomed the chance to wallow in her misery.

But as the months passed and her tears did not subside and her depression became more and more pronounced, she heard them whisper about doctors and how “poor dear Mary wasn’t coping well with her loss.”

Her loss. She was twenty–three years old and eighteen years of history with Connor had been reduced to her loss.

Those looks of sympathy and sorrow gradually faded into pity and disappointment. She was such a pretty girl, her aunt had said. She shouldn’t be dwelling on her loss.

She’d moved to a small town where no one knew her. Where she hadn’t been Mrs. Mary Bishop. Here, in Port Charles, she was Mary Bishop, the new kindergarten teacher at the elementary school.

She’d been living her new life a week when he appeared at her door. At first, in the dark with the shadows on his face, she’d wanted to believe that it was Connor returning to her.

But he was a stranger. And she was so lonely…

She could almost make herself believe the fantasy world she’d weaved. He was her husband, her Connor returned home. She could tell him all about their love and how it had once been.

She could destroy the photos of Connor…

She held the double frame in her hands. One side, Connor. So handsome and poised in his uniform and to the right, herself, smiling. Happy. About to embark on the greatest adventure in her life.

She couldn’t do it. This man—-this beautiful man lying unconscious in her bedroom—-he could never be her Connor.

Someone knocked on her door as she stared at the photo. She set it aside and stood to open it. “Hello?”

“Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you but I’m Officer Lucky Spencer and I’m looking for my brother, Nikolas Cassadine. He was in a car accident and wandered away from the scene.” The dark–haired man thrust a photo of a smiling version of the injured man in the other room. “Have you seen him tonight?”

Mary nodded slowly. “Yes. He collapsed outside my door. I brought him inside but I didn’t have a phone. He doesn’t appear to remember anything.” She stepped back and took a deep breath. “He’s in my bedroom.”

Lucky Spencer nodded. “Thank you,” he said in a hurry as he unclipped his radio from his belt to notify the search teams.

Mary stepped back and her eyes caught the pile of frames she’d been about to burn. She was lonely—-so lonely she’d almost burned her life with Connor and lied to a strange and helpless man.

Tears burned her eyes and she closed them. “Connor,” she whispered, softly. “How could you leave me…”


Mary Bishop entered Kelly’s Diner and managed a smile as she watched a young mother herd her children out the door. Today was the day she began her new life.

It’d been a week since she’d hit rock bottom and nearly burned Connor’s pictures but she’d pulled herself back from that edge. She was stronger than she’d given herself credit for. Nikolas Cassadine had returned to his home, his family–his fiance–and Mary praised the heavens he hadn’t remembered her silly ranting about being his wife.

She stopped at the counter and waited for the middle–aged man to stop berating a younger blonde man standing next to her. She just wanted some coffee to start her day and she’d never been very good at making it herself.

“Mike–I really don’t have the time to listen to this again.” The man next to her sounded slightly irate and Mary slid a few inches to her left.

“Well, you’d better make the time,” the man named Mike shot back. “That’s my little girl and you took vows–”

“She took the same vows I did–why aren’t you having this conversation with her?”

Mary stared at the counter, wondering how long this family argument would go on and if it would make her late for work.

“Mike, I’m sure Bobbie would appreciate if you spent a little more time with the customers and not yelling at your son-in-law,” a new voice said. Mary focused on the counter again to find a pregnant brunette smiling at her. “Hey, what can I get you?”

Mike finally seemed to notice her and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, Miss. Did you need something?”

“Elizabeth? I thought you quit,” Mike’s son-in-law remarked.

The girl named Elizabeth shrugged. “Gotta pay the bills somehow. I don’t know when the alimony will start.”

“Jesus, do marriage vows mean anything to anyone anymore?” Mike threw up his hands. “I can’t remember the last marriagein this town that worked.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Can I get you something to eat, to drink?”

“Coffee–black. To go,” Mary finally said. She slid her hands in the pockets of her dark gray overcoat and focused on the girl Elizabeth.

Elizabeth poured the coffee into a Styrofoam cup and placed a lid on it. “One dollar and fifty cents.”

Mary slid two dollars across the counter. “Keep the change.” She took the coffee and exited the diner, eager to be away from what looked like a strange family argument. She’d lived in a small town before–but everyone had kept to themselves. No one aired their private business outside their own homes.

It seemed to be quite the opposite here.

She crossed the docks and sipped her coffee. In just an hour, she’d be starting her first class on the first day of her new life and she was terrified. She’d been lucky to find a position at all and now she wondered if she’d be any good at it.

“You’re Mary Bishop, aren’t you?” a voice called out from behind her.

She turned and saw a police officer at the top of the stairs. She’d never been fond of a man in uniform. After all, it was a man in a Marine Corps uniform who’d knocked on her door one night and shattered her entire world.

“Yes,” she answered cautiously. “Why?”

The man walked down the stairs and as he came closer, she realized he was Officer Lucky Spencer, the brother of Nikolas Cassadine. “I remember you–you’re that man’s brother.”

Lucky nodded. “Nikolas still hasn’t regained all his memory but he’s recuperating back home.” He gestured towards the house in the distance, surrounded by mists and fog. “Spoon Island.”

Mary nodded. “I’m glad to hear he’s all right.”

“Well–I just wanted to thank you again,” Lucky remarked. “I–I ran your name and found out you’re a veteran’s widow. I was sorry to hear that.”

“Connor died last summer,” she said softly. “He was in the Marines and one of the few soldiers who was a casualty of the actual war.”

“How long were you married?” Lucky asked curiously.

“Just a few months. We were married in May and he shipped out shortly after that. He was sent home in August.” Her throat felt thick and she despised this man for bringing this all back to her.

But she was starting a new life and in order to avoid the pity and sympathy she’d barely survived back home–she had to pretend that this was in the past and she was over it now.

“Man…” Lucky shook his head. “I’m really sorry.” He hesitated. “Am I keeping you from something?”

“I have work, so yes,” Mary admitted. “It’s my first day Port Charles Elementary School, I’m a kindergarten teacher.”

“Oh–well, the good luck on your first day and welcome to Port Charles.” Lucky held out his hand. She shook it and took a step back.

“Thank you.” Mary nodded and then turned–hurrying to get away from the sympathy in the officer’s eyes.

——

Her first day went as well as could be expected. The children were sweet enough but she wondered if that would wear off with the first day over.

Her fellow teachers were nice enough but like in the diner, everyone seemed to know everyone’s business. Someone had told someone else about Connor and by lunch time, she could see the pity in their eyes.

It was almost as if Mary could hear them saying, “There goes the war widow. What a shame.”

But she didn’t want to return to that house just yet. Didn’t want to face those rooms with the pictures of Connor everywhere. Mementos of a life she wanted to forget but couldn’t bring herself to begin the process.

The diner was almost deserted–the after school crowd was gone and dinner rush hadn’t begun. If Mary was lucky–she could be in and out before another sympathetic soul set in on her.

The pregnant brunette was still working behind the counter but there was no sign of the irritating Mike or his stand–offish son–in–law. She hesitantly approached the counter and reached for the menu.

“Hey, welcome back,” the brunette greeted. “Glad to see our coffee didn’t scare you off.”

Mary smiled weakly before hiding her face behind the menu. After a moment, she heard the girl’s voice again. “Now I know why you look familiar.”

Mary frowned and lowered her menu. “I do?”

The girl nodded. “Yeah–Emily Quartermaine is my best friend and Nikolas is like a brother to me.” She extended her hand. “Elizabeth Lans–” she stopped. “Elizabeth Webber.”

“Mary Bishop.” Mary hesitated. “Can I ask why you changed your last name?”

“Divorce,” Elizabeth waved her hand in dismissal. “I’d rather eat dirt than carry his last name. But I’m sure you heard Mike bemoan the lack of morals this morning.”

“I did,” Mary admitted. “But I didn’t want to eavesdrop. How long since the divorce?”

“Two weeks since it was finalized and a month since I left him,” Elizabeth replied. She hesitated. “I–I know you must be sick of hearing this but…Lucky told me about your husband.”

The warmth fled from Mary’s eyes and she drew her shoulders back. “Yes–it seems everyone knows about Connor.”

Elizabeth bit her lip. “I’m sorry–look, I’ve been where you are and everyone always has something supportive to say and it feels like they’re always saying how sorry they are when you all you want is to be alone.”

“So why bring it up at all?” Mary asked coldly. “If you’ve been where I am–” she stopped. “I’m sorry.”

“No–I am. You don’t even know me–everyone knows everything in Port Charles so I’m used to people remembering when we thought Lucky was dead,” Elizabeth told her. “See–we were high school sweethearts and he was believed dead in a fire. It devastated me.”

“How long–how long did you think he was dead?” Mary asked curiously, having never heard of someone coming back from the dead.

“About a year. The first six months–they were dreadful. I started pretending that I was okay because–if Lucky’s girlfriend, the love of his life–if she was okay, then it was okay for his family and friends to be okay, you know?” Elizabeth sipped her water. “But I wasn’t and I was bottling everything inside me–and I got so sick of hearing Lucky would have wanted me to do this, or he would have wanted me to do that…and I just thought–what the hell do I care what he would have wanted? He’s dead, I’m all alone and nothing is going to make me feel better.”

Mary nodded. “You really have been where I am,” she said a little surprised. “I moved from my hometown because I got tired of hearing about how I shouldn’t wallow. About how Connor wouldn’t have wanted me to give up. They said that I wasn’t dealing with my loss well.” She rolled her eyes. “My loss. Connor and I had been friends since we were five, dating practically all our lives and…suddenly, just because he’s gone, I’m supposed to be magically okay?”

“And you came to Port Charles where every look is one of pity or every word is how sorry someone is.” Elizabeth nodded and smiled. “I know that phase. It’s the anger phase of grief. You just want to lash out at the world and when that doesn’t work, you think…why don’t I just…try to find something that hurts worse?”

“Right before I decided to leave Ithaca, I…” Mary hesitated, realizing she was about to tell this woman something she’d never told anyone. She blinked. “I’m sorry–you must have other customers.”

“I’m not really on duty,” Elizabeth informed her. “I live upstairs right now and pitch in when I have to. Why don’t I put your order in and we can grab a table to talk some more?”

“If it’s not a bother…I’ll just have the chicken fingers and fries.” Mary slid off the stool and headed towards the first empty table. A moment later, Elizabeth sat across from her and set an iced tea down. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Elizabeth fiddled with the silver bracelet around her wrist. “You know–my rebellion was actually pretty mild. I dressed up and went to a bar, hoping someone would bother me and I could just unleash my anger.”

“Did someone?” Mary asked curiously.

“Yeah–but Jason…he’s the guy Mike was yelling at this morning–that used to be his kind of hangout and he took care of the guy before it got too serious. I was furious with him though–because I really wanted that outlet.” Elizabeth shrugged. “But he sat me down and he let me ramble for like an hour about how much I missed Lucky, and how nothing would ever be okay again–and he just listened and I realized that I needed that a lot more than I needed a fight.”

Mary nodded. “You were lucky to have a friend like him. Where I grew up–everyone always assumed they knew better and less than three months after the funeral, women from the church were setting me up with their grandsons.” She stared at her hands. “Right before I left Ithaca, I attempted suicide.”

Elizabeth didn’t blink, didn’t gasp–didn’t do anything that Mary had expected so she continued. “I took a whole bottle of anti–depressants and went to sleep but my mother stopped by unexpectedly. I got my stomach pumped and everyone decided that I had just forgotten I had already taken some.”

“They didn’t realize what it was?” Elizabeth asked curiously.

Mary shook her head. “They ignored it, pretended it was something else. But I knew I couldn’t be there anymore. So I started applying at schools–I’m a teacher–and here I am.”

“I thought about it after Lucky died. I thought about it a lot but I never hit rock bottom.” Elizabeth reached out and squeezed Mary’s hand. “I was lucky that I had someone like Jason and no one understands more than I do that sometimes you just want someone to listen.”

Mary nodded and drew in a shaky breath. “When we were five, he pulled my hair so I pushed him out of the sandbox.” She tried to laugh but it came out a strangled sob. “Everyone said we were soul mates…”

Elizabeth squeezed her hand again and nodded for her to go on and for the first time, Mary remembered the joy of having been with Connor rather than the pain.