Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I’m getting old, and I need something to rely on
So, tell me when you’re gonna let me in
I’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin
And if you have a minute, why don’t we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So, why don’t we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know
– Somewhere Only We Know, Keane
Friday, October 3, 2008
Morgan Penthouse: Living Room
Cameron’s eyes lit up when he saw his mother on the sofa that afternoon. “Mommy! You’re still downstairs!” He released Jason’s hand and raced towards her.
“Whoa—” Elizabeth smiled, held up her hands, and Cameron halted just by the sofa. “I can give hugs, but you still have to be gentle.”
“Cause of your owie,” Cameron said. He dropped his book bag on the ground, wiggled out of his coat, then came over to perch on the edge of the sofa next to his mother. He wrapped his tiny arms around her neck, and she hugged him, kissed his temple. Behind him, Jason picked up the belongings Cameron had discarded. He set the bag on the desk, then hung up the coat in the closet.
“Where’s Jake?” he asked, unzipping the bag to remove Cameron’s daily green folder. “Is he down for his nap?”
“Yeah, Gram put him down before she went out to lunch with Bobbie.” Elizabeth accepted the folder. “Thanks for grabbing him. The school pick up line is the worst, so I know it probably took forever.”
“It was fine.” Jason folded his arms. “You okay? Do you need anything?”
“No.” Elizabeth bit her lip. Something felt strange. Off, she thought. They were exchanging information politely. Distantly. Almost like Jason wasn’t really there. She winced, tried to sit up a little more. “Um, Gram said she’d be back for dinner, so if there’s somewhere you need to be—”
“No. Not right now.”
“Oh.” So that wasn’t it. Elizabeth opened Cameron’s folder to see the report from his teacher. “Hey, you got a smiley sticker today! That’s so great! Mrs. Wallace says you took a really good nap.”
“Yeah. I don’t like when they wake me up,” Cameron grumbled. “But then we had snacks and Morgan shared his apples.” He furrowed his brow. “Mommy, what’s a coma?”
Elizabeth’s hands stilled as she stared at her son. “What?”
“One of the helpers, she told Morgan she was sorry his daddy was in a coma, and Morgan didn’t know what that meant, but then she said maybe he was with Michael, and that’s Morgan’s brother who got hurt.”
Behind Cameron, Jason grimaced and dug out his phone.
“What did Morgan say?” Elizabeth asked, thinking about that poor little boy who’d already lost a brother, and didn’t even know yet about his father—
“He said thank you very much, but I don’t talk about my daddy. That’s what his daddy told him to say because people always ask him.” Cameron made a face. “No one asks me nothing about my daddy. They sposed to?”
“No. No, they’re absolutely not.” Elizabeth winced and pulled herself up again. Jason pointed at the phone to indicate he’d connected with Carly, and then went towards the kitchen. “And I’m glad Morgan didn’t say anything.” She kissed his cheek. “You want to go play?”
“Yeah.” Cameron headed over for the play area in the corner, and Elizabeth pulled herself to her feet, grimacing but determined. She paused for a moment, her hand braced against the back of the sofa to catch her breath before resuming her task.
She made it to the kitchen by the time Jason was sliding the phone into his pocket. His eyes widened when he saw her in the doorway. He came forward, put an arm around her waist, guided her to sit at the table. She leaned back, keeping pressure off her middle.
“I would have come to you—”
“It’s—” Elizabeth steadied herself. “It’s okay. I don’t have a lot of pain thanks to the medication, but I need to get around or it will just be harder to get the stamina back later. I wanted to talk to you where Cam couldn’t hear. Is Carly okay?”
Jason sighed, sat across from her. “Maybe. I don’t know.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “She didn’t tell Morgan yet. Mostly because she doesn’t know how to tell him. He doesn’t even really understand about Michael.” He looked away, towards the wall. “Why the hell is a teacher doing that? Saying that to him? Don’t they know better?”
“They’re supposed to, but people are human. It’s terrible that Morgan has to memorize a response for something like that.”
“Learned the hard way with Michael,” Jason admitted. He sighed. “Carly said she’d talk to him tonight. Is Cam okay?”
“Yeah. He doesn’t know what those words mean, which is a blessing, I suppose, since that means Morgan didn’t either.” Elizabeth hesitated. “Is…I mean, is that situation changed? He was supposed to have another surgery wasn’t he—”
“No, nothing’s changed.” Jason rose from the table, went to the fridge. “Should I get Jake’s snack ready now—”
“Jason.”
Something in her tone must have broken through, because he stopped, but didn’t look at her. His hand rested on the handle of the fridge, but he didn’t try to open it.
“I know this is how you handle things. You look straight ahead and focus on what needs to be done. I know that. But—” She bit her lip. “You can’t sit in one spot longer than a few minutes. And you can’t look at me.” Her fingers curled in her lap. “I know it’s been a lot, and I was unconscious for most of it—”
“It’s fine. I’ve got everything under control,” Jason said, but he still didn’t turn around or look at her.
“I never doubted that. You’ve always been calm in a crisis, and it helps everyone around you to steady themselves.” Elizabeth hesitated. “But then it’s over, and you move on to the next thing, and that’s all you’ve been doing for more than a year—”
“That’s what you’re supposed to do.” Jason now looked at her for just a moment, then dropped his eyes to the table. “Move forward.”
“Can you at least look at me long enough to tell me you’re really fine?” Elizabeth challenged.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Jason said, and now he did look at her, his jaw clenched, and she took an uneasy breath.
“I just—Sonny’s so important to you. Can we talk about it?”
“Sonny’s in a coma. He’s not going to wake up. I can’t do anything about that. I don’t know what else you want me to say.”
Elizabeth pressed her lips together, then sighed. This wasn’t the moment either, not with Cameron in the next room and Jake nearing the end of his nap. “Nothing. Nothing. I’m sorry. I don’t want to argue. I’m just frustrated I can’t do more to help. I can’t go to the hospital, I can’t do anything with my boys. I can’t even do anything for Carly to help her with Morgan the way she helped us.”
Jason’s expression eased and he pulled out another chair, sat down. “There’s nothing you could do at the hospital that isn’t already being done,” he said, and she made a face. “Or help Carly tell Morgan about his father. And if you want to help me—”
“Oh, don’t say it—”
“You can let me take you back into the living room or upstairs to lay down until dinner. The boys and I—and your grandmother—we all need you to get better.”
“Fine. Fine. I give up.” She threw up her hand in mock surrender. “I’ll go back to the couch.” She flattened her hand against the table, pushed herself to her feet, but before she could even take a step, Jason had scooped her against his chest. “I can—”
“I know. But I—” His throat worked, and their eyes met for just a moment before he looked away. “But I want to.”
Maybe it really did help him, Elizabeth thought, as Jason carried her back into the living room and deposited her onto the sofa. To focus on other people. But she just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something more she could do. That she should do.
She’d just have to try again. And keep trying until it worked.
PCPD: Interrogation Room
Nadine really didn’t know at what point in her conversation with Jason she’d decided she was all in, but if she had to choose one—it had probably been the look on his face when he’d told her all he wanted was the safety of his family.
His family, which Nadine knew now included Elizabeth and her two boys. The family that also included Carly and her kids. And, until the other day on the docks, Sonny. Jason had protected Johnny, the man responsible for putting his best friend in the hospital bed, because he wanted peace. Needed it.
And if Nadine told the truth or if she backed out, peace would be impossible. Because it would be her fault, and Jason would probably be obligated to keep protecting her even if Johnny ended up in jail and the Zaccharas blamed her. Wouldn’t that be like aiming Anthony Zacchara right at Jason and his family?
Which didn’t even account for how unfair the cops would be about Johnny, especially considering what they were doing to him right now—Scott had dragged him in when Nadine knew they didn’t have any proof.
No. She needed to stick to the plan. The pressure would fade eventually, and then she and Johnny could…figure out how to make this all go away. It was all just insane, and when it was done, she wanted to be able to look back and know she’d done the right thing.
Sometimes the right thing and the legal thing weren’t the same.
Nadine paced the interrogation room, while Johnny sat sullenly at the table. He’d tried to make her go home, but she’d refused. She was his alibi, not that it would get to that she hoped. Johnny’s lawyer would make this all go away, but she wanted to be there just in case.
The door flicked open, and Scott strode in followed by Ric Lansing and, finally, by Mac. The commissioner closed the door and leaned against it. The special prosecutor scowled when he saw Nadine.
“What’s she doing here?” Scott jabbed a finger at her. “She doesn’t need to be here.”
Ric rolled his eyes, pulled out a chair and gestured at Nadine. She frowned, then sat next to Johnny. “Why is my client here?” he asked, sounding bored.
Scott snorted. “You must think I’m pretty stupid.”
“Actually,” Nadine began but Johnny silenced her with a glare. “Well, he shouldn’t give me an opening like that. It’s not fair.”
“Clearly, I was wrong at the trial,” he bit out. “You weren’t protecting Johnny to get in good with Nikolas Cassadine.”
Nadine offered him nothing but a blank stare. She’d expected this line of attack, so it didn’t bother her to hear it now.
“Does he know about this—” Scott gestured at them. “This happy union?”
“My clients are under no obligation to answer any questions, personal or otherwise,” Ric said calmly.
“Ah, bullshit. You can smell the stink on this from a mile away—”
Nadine opened her mouth, and Johnny kicked her. “Ow—” she rubbed her ankle. “I wasn’t going to say anything.”
“Maybe you could just tell us where you were the day of the shooting, and we can get this over with,” Mac said before Scott could say anything.
“No. You tell me why we’re here, and I’ll decide if my clients have anything they want to share.” Ric arched a brow when neither man said anything. “If that’s all—”
“Twenty minutes before the first 911 call, Johnny and Nadine were seen exiting Kelly’s,” Mac said. “They had walked across that very pier to get to Kelly’s, so I assumed their car was parked on Elm Street and not at the diner. They were in the area. And with Sonny arrested last Saturday for going after Johnny, you can understand that we have questions.”
“Is that it? That’s your entire evidence? Fine.” Ric shifted slightly to face his client. “John, tell the cops where you went when you and Nadine left Kelly’s.”
Johnny looked at Scott. “We went for a drive. I proposed. We went to the airport. We went to Vegas. We got married. We came home.”
Scott leaned forward. “You think I believe a word of that?”
“I don’t care what you believe.” Johnny leaned in, too, his eyes locked on the other man’s. “Every single word of that statement is the truth.”
“John.” Ric touched his shoulder, and Johnny sat back. “Satisfied?” he asked Mac.
“I want to hear her say it.” Scott pointed at Nadine. “You always have something to say. Care to add on? Was it a romantic proposal?” he asked with a sneer.
Nadine wanted to feel sorry for this man who had lost his son in such a brutal, terrible way. And the truth of Logan’s death couldn’t have helped. What would it be like to know your son had died because he was attacking a woman? And Scott wasn’t wrong about any of it. Johnny had shot Sonny. Nadine did know the truth.
But this was not a man who cared about truth. He only cared how he could twist facts to fit into the story he’d already written. And Nadine wasn’t going to let him railroad Johnny again.
“Yes,” Nadine said. “Johnny and I had a great time in Vegas by the way. Let me know if you need a recommendation for a wedding chapel.” She sat back, folded her arms. “It was a very romantic proposal. You should be so lucky.”
“Oh, she’s lying through her teeth!” Scott waved his arm dismissively. “Little tramp would do anything to save the guy she’s currently banging—”
He’d no sooner finished speaking than Johnny shot out of his seat, jerked Scott up from the table and shoved the special prosecutor against the wall. “Don’t you ever speak about her that way again.”
“John!” Ric said. “Come on—”
Scott jerked out of Johnny’s grasp and glared at Mac. “Can you arrest him now?”
Mac raised his eyebrows at the still fuming Zacchara standing just inches from Scott. “For what?”
“Assault!” Scott countered, pointing at Johnny. “He assaulted me!”
“And you provoked him,” the harassed commissioner replied. Mac looked to Nadine. “I apologize on behalf of this department.”
“Accepted.” Nadine hesitated for a moment but crossed to Johnny and put her hand on his arm. “Can we go now? Have we answered all your questions?”
“For now,” Mac allowed. He hesitated and looked at Nadine. “I hope you know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”
He took Scott by the arm and forcefully steered him towards the door. “You’re just determined to get this department sued, aren’t you?” Mac could be heard saying as they went into the squad room, closing the door behind him.
“Well, obviously he doesn’t believe me,” Nadine sighed, removing her hand. She glared at Johnny. “Do you like being arrested or something?”
“If I had let it go unpunished, Baldwin might have thought he could get away with treating people like that. I had enough of him doing that to Lulu. He wanted me to react, wanted a reason to keep me locked up.”
“Can I please recommend in the future that we refrain from physical interaction?” Ric wanted to know.
“With Baldwin around? I’m not making any promises.”
Jacks Estate: Living Room
Carly looked down at the cell phone again, willing it to ring with a miracle, for some news from the hospital that would stop her from having this conversation. But it remained stubbornly silent, and she knew she was out of time. Morgan had started to pick up pieces, and he’d be even more confused if it continued. She’d already waited too long.
She looked across the living room to her son. Morgan was tucked in his play area, his head bent over a coloring book.
Morgan’s teacher said she was sorry his dad was in a coma. I don’t know if he understood, but—
She scrubbed her hands down her face, and went to sit by her son, arranging herself in a cross-legged position. “Hey, buddy.”
“Hi.” Morgan looked up, flashed her a sweet smile, his dimple winking.
“There’s something we have to talk about. You know how Michael got hurt this year? That he had to go to sleep, and we don’t know when he’ll wake up?” Or if. Her precious baby might never wake up.
“Yeah.” Morgan stopped coloring, raised his head again. “Miss Milly said she hoped my daddy was with Michael, but I didn’t understand ’cause Michael’s sleeping at the hospital, and Daddy got married to Kate.”
“Well, that…. something happened, and Daddy couldn’t marry Kate anymore. Then your daddy…he got hurt.”
Morgan drew his dark brows together. “He’s hurt? Can I see him? Maybe I can kiss it better.”
“You can’t—it’s not that kind of hurt, honey. It’s like Michael. Daddy had to go to sleep. And we don’t know for how long.”
“I don’t want Daddy to sleep. I want you to wake him up. I want you to bring him home!” Morgan shoved his coloring book away and climbed to his feet. “You call him, Mommy. You tell him to get better and wake up right now.”
“I wish I could. I really do. But it doesn’t work like that. I’m sorry—I’m so sorry—”
“You’re a liar! I hate you! You hate Daddy and you sent him away! You were mad at him, and you were mad at Michael and now they’re gone! You made Jax go away too! I hate you!” Morgan shoved her hard and took off for the stairs.
Carly didn’t follow him, just stayed sitting on the living room floor, wishing she could throw a tantrum like a child, and scream at the world.
Morgan Penthouse: Living Room
“Are you sure it’s not too late?” Bobbie asked, handing her coat to Audrey. “I kept meaning to come by all day, but things just came up—”
“No, of course not.” Elizabeth sat up, wincing. Bobbie readjusted the pillow behind her back. “Thanks. You’re just in time actually. Gram is going to put the boys down for bed, and Jason had a meeting.” She sighed. A meeting that she wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t made up just to get out of the penthouse. “You can keep me from feeling sorry for myself that I’m stuck on this sofa.”
“Elizabeth is a terrible patient,” Audrey said to Bobbie with a smile. “And trust me, darling, I will happily hand bedtime back as soon as you’re capable of doing it yourself. Until that day, you’ll have to suck it up and let people take care of you.”
“I hate that,” Elizabeth muttered when her grandmother had disappeared up the stairs. Bobbie, sitting in the armchair, lifted a brow. Elizabeth’s cheeks heated. “I know it sounds ungrateful, but they make me feel like I can’t do anything for myself. Jason almost has a heart attack every time I take a few steps. And don’t tell me how scared everyone was. I don’t care.”
Bobbie just tilted her head in that way, and Elizabeth looked down, her throat tight. “I care, I do. I just—the world keeps falling apart and I can’t help the people I love make it okay—they won’t let me.”
“They? Or Jason?”
Elizabeth smiled faintly, lifted her gaze to Bobbie’s. “Bullseye. Gram fussing over me, that’s normal. But Jason—he uses it as an excuse,” she murmured, more to herself than Bobbie. “And I don’t know where he learned how to guilt trip someone, but he’s good at it. Keeps telling me that all he needs is for me to be okay, so that’s what I should focus on if I want to help.”
“The worst part of that,” Bobbie said, “is that he means every word of it.”
Elizabeth let her head fall back against the pillow. “Oh, my God. I know. And if you push back against that, you’re just an asshole, right? Like, oh, no the man you love wants to wait on you hand and foot, woes me, right? I know I’m lucky to have him and everyone else that’s helped.”
Bobbie leaned forward, picked up the tissue box on the coffee table, then came closer and sat on the sofa, by Elizabeth’s legs. She held out the box, and Elizabeth plucked out a tissue. “But?” she prompted.
“He won’t talk about Sonny, like, at all. He says facts, but he’s not letting himself process it. I know it hasn’t hit him. What happened with Michael, it was too big, too awful, and he’d only barely pulled it together after losing Emily—” She couldn’t speak, couldn’t force any more words out. “He loved that little boy. He still loves him like his own son, and I think a piece of him just went away when he found out Michael might never wake up. And I don’t know how to help him.”
Bobbie’s eyes were damp as she reached for her own tissue. “You’re right, you’re right. It’s this enormous hole at the center of all our lives, and I just—I watch Carly struggling with it, and she’s only barely scratched the surface of processing it. For Jason, to lose Emily and Michael so close together, and now Sonny—”
“I should be able to help him. I should be able to get through, you know? Why can’t I find the right words? Gram keeps saying I’ll know the right moment and what to do, but I won’t I’ll just mess it up. I always do. I always hurt him worse, and that’s all I’ll do now, I know it.”
“Honey—”
“I did—he lost Alan, and I asked him to give up Jake a few days later, did you know that?” She pressed her lips together, struggled to force the words out. “Emily died, and I asked him to let Lucky keep raising Jake. To keep the lie. And Michael—I agreed with him. I let him go, and I shouldn’t have done that. He needed me, Bobbie, and I didn’t hold on. And now, he’s lost Sonny, and I can’t even help him. Of course not, why would he trust me to do that—”
“All right, all right, you need to stop all that because I can’t hug you without hurting you,” Bobbie managed, and Elizabeth laughed, then started to cry harder. Bobbie stroked her hair. “You are doing the best you can, honey—”
“But he deserves better—”
“He deserves you. You deserve each other, and those boys deserve a family.” Bobbie took her hands, held them together between both of hers. “Jason learned a long time ago that it was easier to close himself off than to feel. And he learned that long before you came along. Those were lessons learned from the Quartermaines, from Robin and from Sonny, and Carly.”
“I did my own damage,” Elizabeth said. She twisted the tissue in her hands. “But I used to be able to tease him out of it. I used to…he used to look at me, Bobbie, and I’d feel so much love. When I was in the hospital, before Sonny was shot, he was still doing that. Still looking at me. He was talking. But now I’m here, and he just talks past me. Talks about the boys, talks about me resting, or what’s for dinner. And I’m afraid that I’ll just keep poking at him until he blows up, and that’s not what I want.”
“You want to skip the part where you have to dig and prod,” Bobbie said, and Elizabeth nodded, wrinkling her nose. “Well, that’s fair, enough. But that kind of ease, it comes with time. You and Jason have been around each other for years, but—correct me if I’m wrong—this is the first time you’ll actually be…together. In the open. Building a life where people can see you.”
Elizabeth sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’ve got a point. Just because Jason and I have been in love for years, it doesn’t mean we know what to do with each other now.”
“And your grandmother had a point. The time is going to come when you’ll know what to say. How to reach him. But it might not be easy. And you may fight and hurt each other and keep going in circles. Because he has to be ready. And there’s no amount of pushing, poking, or prodding that’s going to make that happen.”
Elizabeth smiled wryly. “No, that’s true. I guess I’ll just have to be patient. Which is exactly what Gram said. Since you guys are two of the smartest women I know, I guess I have to listen.”
