The sky glows
I see it shining when my eyes close
I hear your warnings but we both know
I’m gonna look at it again
Don’t wait, don’t wait
The road is now a sudden sea
And suddenly, you’re deep enough
To let your armor down
– Don’t Wait, Dashboard Confessional

---

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Nadine’s Apartment: Bedroom

Nadine retrieved the clothes she wanted from her dresser, then tried to close it as quietly as she’d opened it, glancing over her shoulder to see if any of her actions had disturbed Johnny.

But he was exactly as he’d been since she’d awakened two hours earlier — sprawled across one side of the double bed, laying on his stomach, still sleeping. Her nose twitched at that — she’d been awake at the first light and had already gone jogging, had a cup of coffee, showered and was now dressing for her shift that day — the last in her five-day rotation.

Nadine crept out of the bedroom, pulled the door closed, then changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt before looking through the fridge for something quick for breakfast. The first week of their marriage had gone relatively well, she thought — mostly because they only interacted for a few hours. She worked all day, and he slept through the morning. When she got home, it was usually some dinner, arguing over what to watch on television, and then going to bed.

And the bed part was still a terrible idea, Nadine thought, sliding the bagel slices in the toaster. Every time, she told herself that she really needed to be firmer in that whole let’s not complicate this thing—but it was nice, Nadine thought, to have company, and she could finally acknowledge that she’d been a little lonely since moving to Port Charles.

Eventually they’d start irritating each other — she’d be off for a few days, and they’d have to figure out what to do with themselves without work to break up the monotony.

But for right now, it wasn’t the worst thing in the world to have someone to come home to, and she decided to enjoy it for as long it lasted.

Coffee House: Office

Jason scrawled his name at the bottom of a contract, then shoved it across the desk at Diane, his attention already moving to Cody, waiting somewhat impatiently.

“This should be the last of what the city needs to issue the permits,” Diane told him, sliding the paperwork into her bag. “But if it’s not—”

“I’m not having one more meeting,” Jason said with a scowl. “No more politicians, Diane. That’s the end of it—”

“You have made yourself entirely too clear,” Diane said, but Jason didn’t miss the roll of her eyes as she turned away. “Good luck with him, he’s in a rotten mood.”

“I’ll keep that in mind—” Cody walked her to the door, then looked back to Jason. “Are you really in a bad mood or did that stack of contracts put you in one?”

“The council keeps putting up roadblocks. Every time she comes here, it’s another problem—” Jason shook his head, tossed the pencil aside. “But I don’t have a lot of time,” he told his lieutenant, glancing at the clock. “So I hope you don’t have bad news.”

“I don’t, just an update from our guy at the PCPD which I confirmed with your friend in the DEA. Karpov has his hands full fighting the government — they did a civil forfeiture on the entire ship. I don’t like the guy, but that’s a hell of a thing to fight, especially as a foreign national with a shady past. He’ll be buried in paperwork until the end of time.”

“Good.” Jason shoved back from the desk. “And he won’t want to come at me with that heat on him. That’s not the only property I can tie up for a few years.”

“It’s not the solution I was expecting, but it did the job without any violence or damage that keeps the PCPD on our ass.” Cody rocked back on his heels, watched Jason pick his jacket up from the sofa. “We’re just about done the security upgrades on Mrs. Hardy’s house, so when she heads home, her place will be as secure as the Towers. We’re going to start on the Lexington Street house next.”

“Good.” Jason shrugged into his jacket. “Elizabeth’s still on concussion protocol for a few more weeks, so Mrs. Hardy is staying with us. But we’ll both feel better if her grandmother’s place is safe once she goes home.”

“Yeah, no problem. When she heads home, we’ll get a rotation of guys on her place. Any idea when that’s happening?” Cody followed Jason as he headed down the back hallway to reach the exit to the rear parking lot.

“I don’t know. That’s up to Elizabeth. Maybe through the holidays. Karpov hasn’t even been gone a week.” Jason hesitated at the door of the SUV, considering the question. Karpov wasn’t the only worry on his mind, although things had been quiet the last few days. Anthony Zacchara remained a threat. They hadn’t dealt with one another much before the Black and White Ball, but things were different now. Anthony’s hold on reality was tenuous, and Johnny’s marriage tied him to Port Charles for the long-term.

And Anthony was unpredictable in ways that couldn’t be measured.

“I don’t know,” Jason repeated finally. “But I want the house ready as soon as possible. Having somewhere safe that the boys are familiar with is preferable to a safehouse they’ve never seen.” He needed to make sure even those were outfitted for Cam and Jake if the worst happened. “Is that it, because—”

“Just Greystone.”

Jason’s hand gripped the edge of the door, grimacing. But when he turned back to Cody, his face was expressionless. “What about it?”

“Max has been keeping the place running — the housekeeper is live-in, there’s gardeners and a rotation of guards.”

“Right.” Jason exhaled slowly. Sonny didn’t live in a penthouse with occasional maid service. He’d bought an estate that rivaled the Quartermaines. “For right now, tell Max to keep everything like it is. If Francis can use the guards somewhere else, fine. I have to go.”

“Yeah, yeah, that’s everything. See you tomorrow.”

Cody stepped back, watched Jason climb into the SUV, then back out of the parking lot. If anyone had told him a few weeks ago, he’d be trying to fit in meetings around Jason Morgan picking up and dropping a four-year-old at some school, Cody wouldn’t have believed him.

But every day for the last week, Jason broke off whatever he was doing, rain or shine, and trotted off to sit in a preschool pick up line. Cody snorted, then shook his head and headed back inside.

Morgan Penthouse: Hallway

“I could have done that,” Elizabeth complained, leaning against the door frame watching Audrey put laundry away in the dresser the boys were sharing. “I’m not on permanent bed rest, you know.”

“But you are still on concussion protocol, my darling, so—” Audrey lifted the empty basket, rested it against her hip. “Let me spoil you a little longer. Who knows how long I’ll be able to be as active as I am today?”

“That’s a low blow,” Elizabeth muttered, trailing after her grandmother down the stairs. “You’ll out last us all—”

At the foot of the stairs, Audrey turned to look at her with raised brows. “Are we quite done with our tantrum? My, it’s as if we’ve turned back the clock a decade or more and I’m asking you to make your bed. Is it really so awful to let me take on a few household chores while you recuperate? Wasn’t that the purpose of asking me to stay here?”

“Yes, but—” Elizabeth wrinkled her nose, then sighed. “You’re right, you’re right. I’m being a giant baby. It’s just—I’m not used to this—”

“You should be.” Audrey set the empty basket on the floor, folded her arms. “You should be used to relying on someone to take care of you when you’re not feeling well. To pick up the slack. But you decided a long time ago that you couldn’t depend on anyone but yourself and I suppose asking you to break that habit in a week is unrealistic.”

Elizabeth remained on the landing, resting her hand on the low wall.  “It’s not a decision I made, Gram. It’s what was true. I couldn’t rely on anyone. Lucky died, and even when he was around, he was the one depending on me. You refused to let me grow up. Jason wouldn’t stay and let me make my own choices. Nikolas wouldn’t accept that I could choose my own friends. And Emily was always in the middle of her own crises. Let’s not get started with Ric or my family. I didn’t decide that I couldn’t ask for help. No one decides that. They get let down repeatedly until they learn to stop asking.”

Audrey pressed her lips together, looking away. “I suppose that’s fair—”

“And I am beyond grateful that you’ve come to stay here. That you love my boys the way you do. That you’re giving Jason another chance — no, that you’re giving him his first chance to show you who he really is. But give me a break, okay? It’s not easy to throw out a lifetime of experience overnight.”

“Yes, but—”

“Because you won’t be here forever, Gram. You’ll go back to your house and your life. And Jason can’t possibly pull double duty with drop off and pick up forever. That’s not how life works. You’re both overcompensating, and you know it. So stop acting like there’s something wrong with me because I don’t want to get used to something that won’t last.”

As she spoke, the door behind her opened and Cameron bounced in, Jason on his heels, one hand gripping the doorknob, the other holding Cameron’s discarded backpack. And the expression on his face told Elizabeth that he’d heard her.

Patrick’s Condo: Living Room

Patrick barely grunted when Robin set the pizza box in the middle of the table, his head bowed over a stack of paperwork that included the budget, reports from Risk Management, patient charts, and everything else he’d dragged out. No matter what he seemed to do, the to-do pile just seemed to keep growing and growing.

“I’m not hungry,” he said, then looked up again, frowning at the pizza box. “Again?”

“You were supposed to come home early and make pasta.” Robin dropped a slice of pizza on her plate, then lowered herself into the chair across from him. “But then there was an emergency, and well—” She rubbed her belly. “The baby wanted pizza.”

Patrick winced, then sat back, dropping his pen on the table. “I forgot. Damn it.”

“It’s okay. I like pizza. The house Maxie and I looked at today is two blocks from Mama Mangione’s. Oh, and across the street from Liz on Lexington.”

“Oh.” He furrowed his brow. “That’s the two-story colonial right? You liked that even before you went to see it.”

“Yeah, and, well, I forgive you for not coming home early if you forgive me for putting in an offer.” When Patrick just stared at her, Robin shrugged. “You told me you didn’t care. I can call the agent—”

“No. No. That’s fine—” He put his head in his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m leaving all the important stuff up to you, and—”

“Patrick.” When he looked up, she continued, “We can’t keep going on like this. Not because I can’t handle it. I can. I can buy a house without you. I can cook dinner—or dial—I can do these things, and it doesn’t bother me. But you are literally trying to be everything to everyone and it’s just not possible. You know that, don’t you?”

“I—” Patrick fiddled with his pen. “I should be able to do this. I watched Alan do both jobs like it didn’t even faze him—”

“After years of practice. He also wasn’t always the best at the job,” Robin told him. “You can’t measure yourself by Alan. What the hospital is facing right now — cleaning up after a nurse who killed her parents, the threat of losing our accreditation, it’s so much pressure, and instead of taking it seriously, the board just seems to keep cutting our feet from under us.”

He rubbed his cheek. “The nursing staff is a disaster. Even without the dispensary machines. We’re short-staffed, and the loss of the nursing program is crippling us. We’re not keeping up with research, so we can’t attract grants or medical staff. I don’t know how to fix any of this.”

“One step at a time,” Robin said. “First, you actually don’t have to read everything. You have an assistant. Let her be the gatekeeper and only the most important things end up on your desk. And the nursing situation—” She pressed her lips together. “I don’t know. It’s a bigger problem than just you. Let’s just focus on getting through the here and now. Let’s eat our pizza, talk about the house, and—”

She broke off at the sound of a knock on the door. Patrick held up a hand. “I got it. Knowing my luck, it’s more bad news.”

When he pulled open the door, it took him a minute to process who he found on the other side. “Anna?”

“What?” Robin pulled herself to her feet, and then squealed, barreling past Patrick, knocking him out of the way. “Mom!” She threw her arms around her mother, beaming.

Patrick rubbed his shoulder. “Hey, Anna. It’s good to see you.”

“You, too. And look at you—” Anna laid a hand on Robin’s belly. “There’s my precious little girl. Oh, she’s awake and kicking!”

“You’re not kidding,” Robin said with a roll of her eyes. “It really is so great to see you. Please tell me you can stay for a few days! I’m looking at houses this week, and it’d be great to have your opinion—”

Anna wrapped her arm around Robin’s shoulders and squeezed. “Well then, you’ll be happy to hear that I’ll be in Port Charles for the foreseeable future.”

Robin’s eyes lit up. “Really? You’ll be here when the baby is born?”

“I’ve missed so much of your life, my darling girl.” Anna hugged Robin again. “I couldn’t bear to miss another moment. As long as Patrick doesn’t mind me hanging around—” She looked at Patrick, her eyes raised expectantly.

Patrick furrowed his brow. “No, no. I mean, we don’t have a second room right now—”

“I’m staying with Mac, so don’t worry about anything. I’m just here to lend a hand and spend some time with my daughter.”

“This is the best news I could have gotten,” Robin told her. “You’re really here, and you’re not going anywhere?”

“No where else I’d rather be.”

Zacchara Estate: Terrace

Claudia leaned against the low stone terrace, a glass of wine in one hand and a cigarette in the other. She ignored the sound of the doors opening behind her, and the footsteps against the flag stones until Ric sidled up next to her.

“Those things will kill you,” he told her, sipping from a tumbler of bourbon.

“Someone who expects to live a long life might care—” She exhaled a long thin stream of smoke in his face and he grimaced. “But we both know reaching fifty isn’t normal in this world. Look at your brother.”

Ric pressed his lips together, then looked out over the view. “He could wake up.”

She snorted, took another drag. “Okay. I didn’t know we were exchanging fantasies. I could tell you one about tying you to my headboard—” When he just scowled at her, Claudia shrugged a shoulder. “Did you have a point in coming out here or did you just want to bother me?”

“Things have settled down,” Ric said. “It’s been almost two weeks since what happened to Kate. A week since Sonny.” He paused. “Since your brother got married and moved out. He hasn’t come back once.”

“No, he hasn’t. You wanna take bets how long my father puts up with that before taking action? I could put fifty—”

“I’m serious, Claudia. When your father gets anxious, he tends to make it everyone’s problem,” Ric cut in. “The last time he threatened to snatch one of Jason’s kids—”

“Hey, hey, give him some credit. He was just gonna take the bastard, not the actual heir to Daddy’s throne.”

“I don’t know why I bother with you,” Ric muttered. “You’re incapable of taking anything seriously—”

She released another stream of smoke in his face, smirked. “And you take everything too seriously, Ric. You’re so busy trying to be six steps in front of everyone that you can’t enjoy the here and now. Like you said, things are quiet. Jason made his deal with the devil, didn’t he? John put Sonny in a coma, but since Jason wants those rugrats to keep breathing, he’s not gonna do a damn thing about it.”

“What about your father? We don’t know what he’s planning—”

“What makes you so sure he’s planning anything?”

“Why arrange to have Kate shot if he wasn’t going to do anything about it?” Ric demanded. When Claudia looked away, he nodded. “Good. You’re not denying it—”

“Look, all I know is that my father didn’t pull the trigger, okay?” Claudia dropped the cigarette, ground it out with her heel. “He’s in a wheelchair, so the damage he can do is limited to the power he wields, and that goes through your father, not mine. So whatever Daddy wants to do, it usually has Trevor’s seal of approval.”

“Don’t remind me,” he muttered, then dragged a hand through his hair, disheveling the dark locks. “Your father doesn’t do anything in small measures. You know what he was planning to do if Johnny didn’t check in on Anthony’s arbitrary schedule.”

Claudia wrinkled her nose. “He was just going to take the kid for a few hours. You act like he was going to do something ruthless. If Daddy was serious, he’d have taken the little one. Or the nurse.”

“Are you kidding me? You’ve come into contact with Jason. You saw him after Michael went into that coma. What do you think would have happened if Anthony had kidnapped Cameron?”

She pressed her lips together, considering the question. “You have to understand. My father wouldn’t have seen it as a terrible thing. He doesn’t—he doesn’t value people the way others do. The older kid isn’t Jason’s biological kid. No blood involved.”

“That shouldn’t matter—”

“To Jason, no, and maybe a lot of people. But my father? He’d see it like grabbing a nephew or a cousin. A warning shot. Look at how close I can get to you.” Claudia set her wine on the ledge, dug out the pack of cigarettes from her pocket. “He wouldn’t have hurt the kid. Not the first time.”

“You can’t think that matters—”

She lit the cigarette, rolling her eyes. “I’m sorry, but didn’t you kidnap a pregnant woman and threaten to kill her and take her baby?” Claudia demanded. “You’re going to stand there in moral outrage over this? Are you serious—” Her brows lifted. “Oh. Oh, no it’s not morality you’re protesting. It’s who my father would have hurt. The nurse used to be your wife—”

“That has nothing to do with it—”

“Sure.” She smirked, took another drag. “You were around when she was pregnant—that’s when you got divorced, isn’t it? Did she cheat on you, Ricky?” Claudia stepped closer to him, her eyes dancing with glee. “Is that why it fell apart?”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ric said finally, his tone tight and controlled. “I’m just cautioning you not to play around with Elizabeth’s children. Jason accepted Ian Devlin as Michael’s shooter because he needed it to be true. But you open that door again, you’re not going to like what’s on the other side.”

Claudia’s smile fell. “What does that mean?”

“Your secrets, Claudia, aren’t as safe as you think they are. So you had better hope that your father doesn’t do anything stupid and doom us all.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

They hadn’t spoken alone all evening — there hadn’t been a chance with Cameron full of news and excitement about a spelling contest he’d won. Then Jake had woken from his nap, and the afternoon had just gotten away from her —

But it weighed on Elizabeth that Jason might have heard what she’d said to her grandmother and internalized it as criticism. They’d come a long way since that night he’d nearly walked out on her, when they’d had that terrible fight. But that didn’t mean everything had been resolved. It had only been a week.

He still wasn’t talking a lot about Sonny — or going to see him — and she was still hesitant to believe that everything that had happened in the last few weeks would stick.

So she waited until dinner was over, until Spinelli had left to spend the night with Maxie, and they’d tucked the boys in. That was new, too, Elizabeth thought. Jason being there at night, keeping a boisterous Cameron from waking up Jake who went to sleep earlier. Jason sat in the living room while Cameron played, showing Jason every single item in their toy box, making up a new story to act out with his superhero figurines and assigning roles to Jason who did his best to play them out.

The first time they’d done this, Elizabeth had watched with fascination as tough, gruff Jason Morgan pretended to play the role of Deadpool and accepted every critique and suggestion from her four-year-old son. Cameron was patient with Jason, and seemed to almost pity the older man who had explained he didn’t remember playing as a kid because of his accident.

The second night, she’d reached for her sketch pad, and now by the fifth time she’d watched Jason make a much better impression of the comic book hero than she’d ever managed, she’d filled more than half of her pad. Her fingers itched for her watercolors, something that hadn’t happened in months. Maybe longer.

But too soon, the clock struck eight, and Cameron reluctantly cleaned up, piling the toys back in the box. Audrey remained downstairs to watch television, and Jason and Elizabeth headed up the stairs with Cameron to wash and get ready for bed.

At every step, Cameron tried his usual tricks. He was four and half now, he’d told them. The half was important, so he should be able to stay up a half hour later. And he needed to tell them something else that happened in school, and the funny thing he’d watched on television, and—

But soon enough, Cameron was tucked away in bed, falling asleep almost before Elizabeth had reached the second page of their Percy Jackson book. She set the book on the table between the bed and the crib, smoothed the blanket over him, then kissed his cheek.

She found Jason lingering in the hallway, just as he had every night for the last week, and the guilt washed over again.

“Hey, do you—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Do you have to go out or anything—”

“No.” Jason seemed hesitant, too, and this wasn’t new either. When the boys were around, they seemed sure of themselves. She knew how to be a mother, and he was rediscovering fatherhood—

But being in a relationship? That was harder. She remembered Bobbie’s advice to her. They’d never really done the relationship thing, and now they’d jumped headfirst into living together, being a family — if she was feeling unsure about everything, maybe he felt the same.

“Then we have a little time for you and me.” She took his hand and tugged him gently — she didn’t have to try very hard. He followed her inside the bedroom and watched as she closed the door.

“If I ask how you’re feeling, am I going to be in trouble?” Jason asked.

Elizabeth looked at him, then tipped her head to the side and smiled. “No. I’m okay. Sore. A little tired. I’m definitely pushing too hard to get back to normal, and it does help that you and Gram are doing so much of the heavy lifting, even if I complain about it. I haven’t had a headache today, so that’s a good sign.”

“Good.” He exhaled on a short breath. “Good. Uh, was there something you wanted to talk about?”

“Yeah, but first—” She leaned up on her toes and kissed him, lightly at first, her hands resting at his collarbone. His hands came up, framing her face, careful to avoid the bruise still healing along her cheek bone. The embrace deepened, her hands sliding under his arms, wrapping around his shoulders.

“Can’t believe I get to share a bed with you every night and all I get to do is sleep,” she said, pulling back with a sigh.

Jason’s laugh spread over her, warming all of her like a hot chocolate. “It’s okay. I like waking up next to you.” He kissed the tip of her nose, then led her over to the large armchair by the window. He pulled her down with him, carefully to avoid the healing wound from her surgery. She leaned into his arms. “If you’re worried about earlier,” he said, his breath fluttering the hair at her temple, “it’s okay.”

“I was just—”

“Saying how you feel. It’s okay.”

“I saw your face.” Elizabeth sat up slightly so that their eyes met. “You didn’t look like it was okay.”

“I…” Jason faltered then tipped his head back. “Okay. Maybe in the moment. But you know, I’ve had a few hours to think. And you’re not wrong. I won’t be able to pick Cameron up every day. Or drop him off. There will be days when it’s you. Or maybe we can work something out with Carly. She’s tried to spend more time with Morgan since last spring. But right now, I can make it happen, and I like doing it.”

“Really? It’s usually the bane of my existence.”

“I like the extra time with Cameron,” Jason said, and she fell silent. “He talks like you do. Anything and everything that pops in his head. The way you used to,” he corrected softly. “When we first met. Before you started weighing every word and worrying if it would hurt someone.”

“You do that, too.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jason picked up her hand, traced a pattern in her palm. “I thought about what we talked about the other night. About how I’m waiting for you to go, and you’re waiting for me to let you. That’s not something we fix in a week.”

“No.” Pressure built behind her eyes and she closed them. “But I want to.”

“One day at a time. It’s all we can do. One moment.”

“Things happen fast,” she said. “But you have to live through them slow. You told me that once, a long time ago. Do you remember?”

“I remember everything,” he told her, and she smiled. She touched his lips with the tips of her fingers.

“We’re going to be okay, you and me. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

PCPD: Commissioner’s Office

Mac glanced up at the light knock on the door frame, then grinned. “Well, where did you come from?”

“A stork brought me,” Anna said, stepping inside. “What are you doing at work so late?” She closed the door.

“Too much paperwork,” Mac complained, rising from his desk, and coming around to embrace his former sister-in-law. “You’re here to see Robin?”

“Yes, I’ve just come from the condo. I told her I’d be using your guest room so she wouldn’t worry about me, I hope that’s all right.”

“Of course, of course. Any time. The house has been empty—” Mac’s expression faltered and he looked down, took a deep breath. “Anyway, plenty of room. How long are you staying?”

“Well, hopefully long enough to meet my granddaughter,” Anna said, “though that depends on you.”

“On me?”

“Yes. I’m hoping you’ll bring me up to date on everything you know about Jason Morgan and Andrei Karpov.”

Can’t change this feeling
I’m way out of touch
Can’t change this meaning
It means too much
Never been so lonely
Never felt so good
I can’t be the only one
Misunderstood
– Somebody Else’s Song, Lifehouse

---

Monday, October 20, 2008

General Hospital: Kate’s Room

“Careful—” Nadine held out her hands, one on either side of Kate, ready to brace the older woman in case she fell or lost her balance.

But Kate had been working hard in physical therapy for the last week, completing the last round only that morning, and though she was a little unsteady when she’d first stood up from the hospital bed, she was able to make the short distance between the bed and bathroom unaided.

Kate braced her hand on the door frame, took a careful breath, then flashed a smile at Nadine. “You’ll have to reassure Dr. Hunter that I’m perfectly capable of being discharged. I’m ready to get back to my life.” Her smile slipped briefly. “Such as it is.”

“I am definitely going to be giving you full marks — as soon as you can use the bathroom and get back in bed without my help. I’ll be right here if you need me,” Nadine said, and Kate nodded. She went into the small room, leaving the door only slightly ajar.

I’m ready to get back to my life. Such as it is.

Nadine couldn’t imagine what it would be like for Kate to leave the hospital, return to her work at Crimson, carry on as if…

Well, as if her entire world hadn’t been upended. She’d been shot on her wedding day, in and out of consciousness, and before she’d even really understood her injuries, Sonny had ended up two floors above them, comatose. What a difference a few days could make — Kate’s life had changed irrevocably, and so had Nadine’s.

She glanced down at the simple gold band she wore on her left hand, twisting it back and forth. Kate was the one who was supposed to be married, not Nadine—

“Enjoying the fruits of your lies?”

Nadine snapped her head up, wincing when she saw Maxie at the entrance of the room. “Maxie. I thought you were coming later—”

“Looking to ingratiate yourself with another wealthy patient?” the slender blonde demanded, stalking past Nadine and dumping the paper bag she held on to the hospital tray. “You might have replaced Lulu in Johnny’s bed, but don’t think you’ll be able to do the same with Kate—”

“Maxie.”

Both women turned to see Kate back in the doorway, a bit pale, but still on her feet. “I have to ask you not to aggravate the hospital staff. Nadine is here to do a job, nothing more and nothing less.”

Maxie looked as if she wanted to argue, but just threw Nadine a scorching glare before practically sprinting to Kate’s side. “Of course. I brought you a salad, and I also have proofs from the Karlie Kloss shoot — I think you’ll be very pleased. We don’t need you anymore,” she said to Nadine, hovering as Kate walked slowly to her bed.

“Of course. As soon as — ” Nadine watched as Kate reached the bed and sat down, wincing only slightly. “There we go. I’ll update Matt and I’m confident he’ll give you a discharge date. Enjoy your lunch and your visit.”

Drake Condo: Living Room

“I feel like one of the boats in the harbor,” Robin grunted as her mother helped her sit down on the sofa. She winced, and tried to smile at Elizabeth, seated in the armchair. “How do you deal with feeling like you’re suffocating from the inside out?”

Elizabeth made a face. “It’s awful, right? Their little legs and arms kicking, the somersaults—I felt like all my organs had to be squashed up under my lungs. Just terrible. It was worse with Jake — because he was moving less by the time I made it to my due date. I went early with Cam, so I didn’t know what to expect.”

“I didn’t know that. Was he a preemie?” Robin asked. She accepted the water her mother handed to her, then looked at Anna. “Cam is Liz’s oldest. He’ll be—what—five in May?”

“Five, yeah. And I guess technically he was a preemie but not by much, but he just had to spend a few nights in the NICU. He and Jake are only a week apart, birthday wise. I’m so glad that with everything else that happened with my delivery, Jake was very healthy. And that Kelly was on hand. You’re in excellent hands.”

“There’s no one I’d trust more than Kelly. You’ll meet her at the shower,” Robin told her mother. “But she was as cool as a cucumber with your case, Liz, so I know I’ll be okay.”

“Was your delivery particularly difficult?” Anna asked.

“I had placenta previa, grade three, the worst kind. And there were no symptoms — it just—” Elizabeth shuddered. “It just happened. I was alone at the house, and I could have bled out—” She looked down at her hands.

“But Jason found her, rushed her to the hospital,” Robin added, and Elizabeth looked up. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring it up—”

“No, I did. It’s just hard to think about. A lot was going on, but Kelly really was amazing. And well, I know Patrick has Nadine and a few of our best peds nurses on hand for the delivery.”

“I’m sure he’s pulling all the strings—” Robin rolled her eyes. “I’m just glad we have nurses left we can call the best. Other than you, I mean,” she told Liz.

Anna raised her brows. “Is there trouble with the nurses at GH? I remember their program was one of the best in the state — under your grandmother,” she said to Elizabeth.

“The new board closed our nursing program as one of their cost saving procedures,” Elizabeth said, bitterly. “Bobbie was forced into early retirement—I don’t care what she says, Robin. We both know she was pushed into taking the buyout. Epiphany’s doing the best she can, but—” She sighed. “It’s just been hard.”

“Cost-saving?” Anna pursed her lips. “Does this have anything to do with the chief before Patrick? You were never happy about him,” she said to Robin. “You said you had more than a few arguments with him.”

“It’s just hard,” Robin admitted. “I was used to Alan. He was just friendlier, you know? Warmer? Plus, he’d watched me grow up, and he’d been my doctor. And Liz, you were around the family all the time. Dr. Ford never wanted to get to know us. Which is fine, I guess.”

“Yeah, he was a lot colder than Alan, but I never felt like he was particularly bad at his job. It’s just—” Elizabeth hesitated. “Things were harder after Jolene.”

“Jolene?” Anna pressed when Elizabeth didn’t continue. “I don’t think I know that name—”

“You might remember what the papers called her,” Robin said. “The Angel Without Mercy? She was sabotaging patients last summer.” She rubbed her belly. “A medical group was trying to buy out General Hospital and wanted to drive down the prices. They paid her to screw with patient care—”

“And Jolene went further than they asked. Instead of just tanking patient care and staff morale, she killed patients. Lawsuits were filed, and board members resigned or sold their shares. The president of the hospital was fired, and the new one is an asshole,” Elizabeth said. She sighed. “I mean, I know it’s hit the hospital bad, and Patrick’s killing himself to work out of it. But closing the nursing program saved money short-term—”

“But long-term it’ll cripple the hospital. We used to have a pipeline for the best trained nurses in the state, and now—well, Liz, you probably know the problems better.”

“They bought out some of the older nurses — Bobbie, who was running the nursing program, and others like her that had been there for thirty years — the ones who make the most money.”

“Ah,” Anna nodded. “That’s quite typical, I’m afraid. When I was with the police department here in Port Charles, we had a budget shortfall and it’s always the older, more expensive officers who get the retirement packages. I’m so sorry to hear that the hospital is having such issues. I know you’ve always dreamed of working there, and well, your grandparents practically built it,” she said to Elizabeth.

“Gram was heartbroken when she found out. I really want to do something to bring it back, like maybe we can do a foundation or organize something like the Nurse’s Ball, you know?” Elizabeth said to Robin whose eyes lit up. “I just know my grandmother would be on board to help, and so would Bobbie. It would be an amazing morale boost for the nursing staff.”

“Oh, as soon as I pop out this baby—” Robin nodded. “We’ll get started. I’ve always wanted to do something big for the hospital, and this is my shot. We know people with money.” She brightened, looked at her mother. “So do you. I’m glad you’re going to be around so I can snag that little black book—”

“I’ll happily contribute to anyone who would be interested. I think it’s a lovely idea. But first—” She laid a hand on Robin’s belly, smiled when the baby kicked. “We need to finish planning your baby shower.”

General Hospital: Lobby

Johnny took a step towards the security desk only to turn in a circle and wander back to the wall where there was a large display about the history of the hospital, complete with pictures of the first building and a timeline of important events.

He made a study of reading it, telling himself when he reached the last event, he’d go to the desk and ask for a security pass to see Sonny Corinthos. And this time, he would actually do it.

Johnny had just reached the beginning of the sixties when he heard someone clearing their throat beside him. He jolted when he realized Nadine had joined him. “Oh. Uh, hey. Did you know the hospital opened its emergency room in 1963?”

Nadine lifted her brows, but then looked at the wall where he pointed. “Yeah, I did. Every time someone brings up Steve Hardy, it comes up. He’s revered here like a god. The security guard called me. Said they thought something was wrong. You’ve been here like half an hour, just loitering. Did something happen?”

“No. No.” Johnny folded his arms, continuing to stare at the wall. “I thought I’d come to see Sonny.”

There was silence next to him, and he sighed. “It’s a stupid idea, isn’t it? This is the last place I should be.”

“It’s not a stupid idea. I’m just surprised—”

“Because I shouldn’t be anywhere near him, I know.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t tell me. I could run interference, make sure that Carly doesn’t see you. She’s the only visitor he gets regularly,” Nadine added when Johnny finally looked at her. “His dad came in a few times, but he went back to Rochester last weekend.”

“You talked to his dad?”

“Yeah. He’s a nice guy. Didn’t seem surprised by where he found his son.” Nadine folded her arms. “Johnny, everyone who knows the truth — no one thinks it was on purpose. They know it was self-defense.”

“I know.”

“You were protecting me, too.”

“Yeah.”

“I know you try not to think about it very much, and that’s kind of how I deal with it when I’m not here. Because we were minding our business and someone tried to hurt us. It was him or us, Johnny.”

“Does that—” He looked at her briefly before focusing on the display again. “Does that work? Just telling yourself it was justified?”

“Most of the time. When I feel guilty again, I think about your trial, and the way the PCPD didn’t even bother to investigate what happened that night—”

“They could have if we’d gone to them, maybe. Maybe if we’d called them, if we’d told them—”

“Maybe Lulu would still be here,” Nadine finished, and Johnny flinched.

“That’s not what I meant—”

“No, but it’s true. Maybe. Or maybe Scott Baldwin would still go after Lulu. Maybe it’d be worse because he’d have focused entirely on her, and she’d get sick faster. Maybe you gave her more time,” she said gently. She touched his arm. “You did the best you could, Johnny. I know that. I wish you did—”

“Well, is this just so sweet.”

Johnny turned at the sound of a new voice and saw Maxie standing a few feet away, her face flushed, one hand fisted at her hip, the other clutching a purse so tightly her knuckles were white.  “Maxie—”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve flaunting yourself here, you son of a bitch.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Bobbie flicked pencil shavings from the ledger, glancing up briefly at the jingle of the bell. When she saw Alexis, she returned her attention to the books, only to look up a few moments later when she realized the other woman had stopped by her table.

“Can I help you?” Bobbie asked, lifting her head.

Alexis sat across from her, setting her purse in her lap. “I…I spoke with Sam this morning. I thought you might like an update if you hadn’t spoken with Lucky or Nikolas recently—”

“Why exactly is your daughter updating me about my niece?” Bobbie wanted to know. She laid down the pencil. “Could it be because Lulu’s worthless brothers won’t pick up the phone to call me after ignoring my messages?”

Alexis winced. “I suppose that could be part of it—”

“If Lulu had recovered, I’d know. Because she’d have kicked her brothers into the Pacific Ocean and hitchhiked home already. Or stolen Nikolas’s credit cards to book a first class flight. So—” Bobbie picked up the pencil. “And since that hasn’t happened, we won’t have to worry about trading information. Lulu is in the same condition Sonny is.”

Alexis pressed her lips together, looked away, and Bobbie sighed. She rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. That was a low blow, and unnecessary—”

“It’s all right. It’s not easy, I’m sure, knowing Lulu is so far away with only her brothers to look after her. And I’m sorry that they’re not calling you. It’s just—there is no change. She’s not worse,” Alexis added, “but she’s not better.”

Bobbie nodded, then sighed again. “I’ll get word to Luke. He’s…somewhere in Europe. Running as usual. I spoke to him when Lu got sick, but—well, he’s not in a hurry to come home and see her look the same as her mother. He never really got over that. My brother was great in a crisis — as long as it wasn’t personal,” she added.

Alexis smiled wryly. “Yes, he could be counted on to keep a cool head if no one he cared about were involved. And he always did better when there was something he could do. With this—”

“It’s in the hands of the medical doctors, which certainly isn’t easy. And that’s probably why Nikolas isn’t contacting me. But Lucky? Oh, if he’s smart, he’ll stay away from me and Port Charles a little longer. The way he walked out on those boys while Elizabeth was in surgery? Just dumped them on Audrey? That was despicable, and I do not want to hear that he was under a lot of pressure. Jason managed just fine while juggling Elizabeth’s care, Sonny’s situation, the boys, and God knows what else. But I don’t need to tell you that.”

“No, you don’t. You’d think it would affect my life more,” Alexis admitted. “But Sonny had curtailed visitation after what happened to Michael, and I was relieved at the time. Now—it’s so sad,” she murmured, “to wonder if the world is better off without him in it.”

General Hospital: Lobby

Nadine sighed, removed her hand from Johnny’s arm, then rubbed her temple. The last thing she needed was another run-in with Maxie today. “Maxie—”

“I guess I was wrong upstairs,” Maxie snarled. “Maybe you’re not on the lookout for your next victim—”

“Don’t let us keep you from your next shopping spree,” Johnny said, taking Nadine’s arm and heading towards the elevator, but the only way to do that was to pass the irate blonde who swung her bag just as Johnny came near her and it hit him in the chest. “Oof—knock it off, you crazy bitch—”

“How dare you talk to me like that! After everything—”

“After what?” Johnny demanded, releasing Nadine’s arm to face Maxie squarely. “Listen, you lunatic, you have no right to judge anyone, and you damn well know it. You think you’re so pure? So perfect? The stories Lu told me—”

“Shut up—” Maxie whacked him with her purse again and he snagged it from her before she could swing again. “Give that back—”

“Stop it—” Nadine hissed, yanking on Johnny’s arm. “Come on—” She winced when she saw the security guard approaching. “Johnny—”

“I’m going to have to ask you both to leave.” The guard stepped between them. “Give the lady back her purse, and Miss Jones—” the guard looked at the red-faced Maxie. “Stop committing assault with the purse, or you’ll have to explain it to the commissioner—”

Johnny held out the purse, and Maxie snatched it from him. She stalked towards the parking garage.

“Maybe you need to go out the front,” the guard told Johnny. “You can use the garage entrance from the street.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Johnny looked at Nadine. “I’ll see you at home.”

“Yeah, fine.” Nadine folded her arms, watched him leave. “Sorry,” she told the guard, who just rolled his eyes and headed back to his desk.

She dragged her hands through her hair, took a deep breath, then went back to work.

Tell my mother, tell my father
I’ve done the best I can
To make them realize this is my life
I hope they understand
I’m not angry, I’m just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
– Second Chance, Shinedown

---

Friday, October 31, 2008

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Elizabeth dug through the closet, wondering how it seemed that half her wardrobe had ended up in the penthouse and how they were ever going to get everything back to the house.

Behind her, Jason had emerged from the bathroom, towel drying his hair. “Is your grandmother going with you today?”

“What? Oh. No. No. Jake still has a little bit of the sniffles, and I didn’t want him to go out,” she said. “I know we’re only going to go trick or treating here in the building tonight, but I don’t want him to get sicker.” She retrieved a sweater, then hesitated, running her fingers over the soft fabric.

“Are you okay?” Jason wanted to know when she didn’t continue.

“It’s—this sweater. I—I borrowed it from Emily. I never got a chance to give it back.” She looked at him. “It’s—I mean, it’s today.”

“Yeah. I know.”  His expression tightened and he went to his own dresser. She bit her lip. Of course he knew. Did she think he’d forget the anniversary of his sister’s murder?

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—I don’t know.” She sat on the bed, the sweater in her lap, running her fingers over it. “Do we acknowledge it? Do we go on like it never happened?”

Jason pulled a long-sleeved shirt over his head, then looked at her, a bit exasperated. “Why is that up to me? Why do we have to do anything? It happened. We both know it’s awful. We don’t have to talk about it.”

She bristled. “Maybe I want to talk about it, okay? What am I supposed to do? Nikolas and Lucky are both gone, so it’s not like I can call them. Or that I’d want to. No one else—never mind. Never mind. I’m sorry.” She crumbled the sweater up, stalked over the wastebasket in the corner, shoved it in.

Jason’s arms came around her, drawing her back against his chest. She felt his breath at her temple, and she let out a long shaky sigh. “I’m sorry,” he murmured into her hair. “I’m sorry.”

She brought her hands up to touch his arm, to pull it down so that she could turn and look at him. “I’m sorry, too. It’s just—you know, you go through every day and you think you’ve handled it, and you’ve moved on, and then you just get hit with it, and you remember all over again, and I’m sorry, because you lost her, too, and it’s just not right—”

“I know.” Jason kissed her temple, then leaned down to remove the sweater from the trash. “I miss her. All the time.”

“I look at the boys, and I just think—she never gets to be here with them. She loved them so much.” Elizabeth lifted her gaze to his. “She loved you so much, Jason. Even when you drove her crazy or disagreed with her. You were her rock. The one piece of her world that she could always rely on.” She laid her hand on his cheek. “Because you were an amazing brother who never let her down. I hope you know that. The only regret you should have about Em is that we didn’t get enough time with her. Because there will never be enough. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry if it hurts to talk about her.”

“That’s—that’s why we should,” Jason said finally, forcing the words out. He laid his hand over hers. “Because I want the boys to know her. I know she loved them. And she loved you. I’m so glad my sister had you. That you were her best friend.”

“She was the first person I told. About there being a possibility that Jake was yours. It’s why I had the courage to tell you so we could get the test.” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “I wish I’d confided in her after the test came back. I don’t know why I didn’t. She would have told me to tell you. I was so scared, so scared everything would come crashing down if you knew. If everyone knew. Lucky would relapse, and you’d have trouble with Sam, and be unhappy, and I’d be alone—I was such a coward. I kept it all inside because I knew if I told her, she’d tell me to suck it up and do the right thing.” Elizabeth brushed away her tears. “There’s no one left who knew me the way she did, you know? And she never gets to marry Nikolas and have her happy ending. She wanted to be a mother, and all of that—God, I hate it so much. There’s too much left we still should be doing together…Why is she gone? Why can’t she just come back?”

Jason curled his arms around her, and they sat there for a long time, just thinking of the life that had been lost.

General Hospital: Patrick’s Office

“This feels like déjà vu,” Carly murmured, skimming the scan Patrick had slid across the desk. She looked at him on the other side of the desk. “It’s eerie, isn’t it? To be sitting here, having the same conversation we had six months ago.” She glanced at the empty space next to her where Jax would have been.

“I know that you have joint power of attorney,” Patrick said. “We can wait to make these decisions, and I can talk to Jason if you want—”

“No, it’s—” Carly set the scans back on the desk, carefully arranging them so that the edges lined up. “I made a promise to myself after Elizabeth’s accident — after I caused that ridiculous scene, and Jason basically threw me out of the room — I told myself that I was going to do everything I could to make his life easier.”

“Okay,” Patrick said slowly, and she thought she detected some skepticism. Well-earned no doubt. “But this is a big decision—”

“You’d think that, but it was a big decision in April. In May when we finally went through with it. I agonized over it. We talked to so many other doctors, and no one disagreed with you.” Carly’s smile was faint. “You’re the best neurosurgeon on the east coast, maybe the country. You’re telling me that Sonny isn’t dead, but he’s not a vegetable. Maybe he’ll wake up one day, and maybe he won’t. But you’re not hopeful.”

“No. There’s some brain activity, but it’s not brain death.”

Carly nodded, sliding her fingers over the lines depicting the brain activity on the page. “And we’ve waited. Just like Michael. Nothing’s changed. Not in a month of waiting. Is it wrong to wish it were brain death? That we could say for sure?”

“No. It’s not. What’s happening to Sonny, what happened with Michael — the ambiguity is almost worse than the clarity of death.” Patrick leaned forward. “Do you mourn? Do you pack up their things? How do you go on when someone who matters so much is somewhere between life and death, and might never move one way or the other?”

“Sometimes,” Carly said, “sometimes I wish I’d never met him. Even if that meant I was still married to AJ, trapped in a horrible marriage. One I chose to make horrible, mind you. You don’t know AJ — you came here after he died. I didn’t push him over the edge, you know, but I sure had no problem making sure he lived on the precipice, making sure that Michael would never know him.” She exhaled, her breath a bit shaky. “Maybe Sonny was a good father, but if AJ had been in his life, do you know where my baby would be right now?”

“Carly—”

“He’d be in school.” Carly met Patrick’s gaze, though his features were blurred through her tears. “He’d be spending time with his cousins. He was supposed to be in sixth grade this year, you know? He’d be twelve in December. I’ll never know what he could have been. Who he’d grow up to be. What kind of man he’d turn into. I don’t know. I know none of this matters. None of this has anything to do with Sonny or the decisions I have to make now. It’s just…I don’t know. Sonny’s gone. And I don’t know what to do with the fact that I don’t even feel grief. Or anger. It’s just a relief. How horrible am I to feel relieved that my little boy is losing his father? That Kristina is losing hers? What kind of person does that make me? Don’t answer that,” Carly said when Patrick opened his mouth. “Just — I’ll talk to Jason. He hasn’t been to see Sonny, so I have to find a way to talk to him about this.”

“There’s no hurry,” Patrick said. “He wouldn’t be our only long-term coma patient, but I don’t have to tell you he wouldn’t get the personal attention here that he would in another facility.”

“I know. And I’m sure the answer will be yes. I just—it’s Halloween, and I’m taking Morgan to trick or treat with his cousins. Elizabeth’s birthday is tomorrow — Jason deserves to have this time, and I’m going to make sure he has it. So I just—I’ll talk to him. Thank you, Patrick. You’ve always been kinder to me than I deserve. I’ll be in touch.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Hub

When the elevator doors slid opened and Nadine saw Leyla standing by the computer in the hub, she nearly pressed another button for another floor. But she was an adult and there was no amount of avoidance that would change anything. For whatever reason, their budding friendship had been a casualty of Nadine’s impulsive decision to marry Johnny Zacchara.

And if she were honest with herself, it was a relief to know now that Leyla wasn’t someone to be counted on. If Leyla could cut her off so neatly without even bothering to ask questions, then Nadine was better off.

But it didn’t make working together any easier, especially as they’d both been floated to the general ward this rotation.

Nadine took a deep breath, then went over to the counter to exchange charts for her next round of checks. “Any new admits this morning?”

Leyla glanced over at her, then back at the screen. “No. Still the same as last night.”

“Good. Good. It’s a relief to be out of the ICU, but I hope we can start getting back to our usual departments. I miss Pediatrics,” Nadine said, picking up her new charts. “I’m sure you miss surgery.”

“I’m surprised you feel that way considering how you’ve used your time,” Leyla said coolly.

Nadine tensed. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Well, you’ve made it quite the habit of attaching yourself to our more…wealthy patients,” Leyla said. “It didn’t take you long to move on after Nikolas was done with you—”

“Oh, that is absolutely not what happened, and you damn well know it! Nikolas and I had barely even started dating when he decided to go, and yes, that hurt, but there’s no law that says I have to wait to move on—”

“No, but you certainly took advantage of Johnny’s situation, didn’t you? Just like you did with Nikolas. Constantly checking in on him, pushing him to get that surgery, hoping to make yourself indispensable—” Leyla sniffed. “He saw through you, just like I did, and well, maybe you and Johnny Zacchara deserve each other. You’re no better than your sister. Money hungry white trash.”

Crimson Offices: Reception

Maxie emerged from Kate’s office, flipping through memos with one hand, a phone tucked in the crook of her neck. “No, Dinah, I want to push that photo shoot another few days. Kate will be back in the office by then and I know she wants to be there.”

She only half-listened to the response, dropping the memos on her desk. She rummaged for her date book. “Yeah, it’ll be great to have her back. She’s been consulting and signing off from the hospital and from home, but there’s nothing like having her here—” Maxie broke off, the other desk in the area catching her eye.

The empty desk with a chair tucked neatly under it, a discarded jacket over the back of it. The office could get chilly, and Lulu kept something handy for those days. There were no active projects or files on her desk, just her phone and a handful of photos, including one of Lulu with her mother during her parents’ wedding.

“What?” Maxie returned her attention to the call. “No, no, it’ll be good to be back to normal. It was a terrible tragedy. Just…just a terrible, awful day. But it’s time to turn the page. Thanks for the reschedule. Kate will be so grateful, and I certainly won’t forget it either.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Kitchen

He should have been a mechanic. Or a carpenter. An electrician. Something useful.

He should have learned how to do more than shove frozen food in the oven or microwave and click a button.

Johnny studied the inside of Nadine’s cabinet with a squinted expression. Was it really hard to boil water? Surely he could make pasta. He was Italian. Wasn’t that shit in the blood? He took out a package of dried spaghetti and a jar of red sauce.

In the last month, he’d done basically nothing. He’d sleep through most of the day, waking in the early afternoon. He’d watch some daytime television, or lately, he’d been walking around Nadine’s neighborhood. It was okay, he thought. Partially residential, partially business. There was a decent diner on the corner, and he’d found a music store with a piano, so that took care of some of the hours. He was thinking about an electric keyboard that could be folded up and put away.

Nadine worked days mostly, and when she came home, she was usually tired so they ordered out. Johnny had managed to convince her early on to let him go half on everything, including her rent, so the extra takeout expense was on him. But they went to the same places over and over, and that was kind of annoying.

It was also blessedly normal. What to do with his day, what to eat, when to sleep, how to use the laundry machines in the basement of Nadine’s building — the first few weeks had been almost interesting. He’d talked to his sister a few times, had even spoken to his father, though he’d kept his distance, maybe to test how Anthony was going to handle things.

The PCPD had left him alone — Scott was still glaring at him whenever they ran into one another, so Johnny tried to avoid him. Sonny’s case was cold, and so was Kate’s. There was no news on Lulu, so he’d put all of that out of his mind.

This was life now. Figuring out how to fill the days until Nadine came home and they could eat dinner, watch movies, and go to bed. Ordinary.

But maybe he should learn how to cook. Johnny retrieved his laptop, flipped it open, and opened up a search engine.

How to boil water

Patrick’s Condo: Nursery

“I’m as big as a house,” Robin muttered, tossing another plastic hanger in the trash, and handing the onesie to her mother. “How did you stand being pregnant?”

“Well, darling, you were kind enough to arrive several days before the doctor said you were due,” Anna said with a smile. She closed a drawer in the changing table. “How many more of these did you want to run through the laundry today?”

“Just this last batch. Elizabeth said Jake went through a few outfits a day no matter what she did, and I just don’t know between me and Patrick, and moving—” Robin wrinkled her nose. “How am I supposed to get this kid out of me? She’s three days past due.”

“Well, it’s not an exact science, love, but think of it this way. You’ve provided such a warm, comfortable home for my grandbaby that she’s not interested in eviction.” Anna laid her hands on Robin’s belly, waited for the kick. “There you are. Why don’t you come out and see us?”

“I’m trying hot sauce tonight,” Robin decided. “Now that we have a closing date, I just want to get on with it all, you know? We weren’t even going to be put an offer on anything unless we really loved it, but I saw that a house across from Elizabeth was available, and I just—I couldn’t help myself.”

“Well, you’ve told me she’s become a good friend to you, and of course, I know she’s special to Patrick. And from what I hear, you’ll have another old friend living across the way.” Anna lifted the laundry basket. “I commend you for having such a good friendship with Jason. It took me far longer to be friends with your father.”

Robin followed her mother into the living room, her expression pinched. “Well, it’s not like that happened overnight. We were basically enemies by the time I left. It’s just—I don’t know. We both went through a lot while I was gone, and now I’m home, and we’ve just both moved on. We were friends before we were in love.”

“I only remember Jason as a child, obviously, but it’s so strange to think of Alan and Monica’s son as, well…” Anna set the laundry basket on the table. “Jason Morgan. His name has come across my files once or twice. Not as a target,” she added when Robin blinked at her. “There was some business with the Alcazar brothers that the WSB was keeping their eye on. To think that a boy you played with as a child could grow up to be involved with men like that—”

“Mom. It’s a little late to be judging my ex-boyfriends. Especially since I’m engaged to a neurosurgeon, and not Jason.”

“No, I’ll let Elizabeth’s parents worry about her. Or her grandmother. Who seems to approve since she’s living with them.”

“Oh, that’s just temporary,” Robin said. She went into the kitchen to find something to eat — something she could put hot sauce on. “While Elizabeth recovered from her concussion, and everything that was going on after the wedding, it was just easier to be at the Towers. But I think Liz said she was hoping to go back home by the holidays or after that. The boys need a backyard.”

“Everything after the wedding?” Anna echoed.

“What, were you living under a rock or something? Didn’t they get the news on your last assignment?” Robin asked. “Kate was shot at her wedding. It was chaos, and then Elizabeth had an accident. Lucky up and left the boys basically overnight, which just made it worse. And—” She looked down. “Well, what happened with Sonny. I think Jason just wanted to make sure everyone was safe. He’s lost a lot of people.”

“I did hear about Emily last year. Such a tragedy. And Michael. That’s awful.”

“Alan, I think, hit Jason harder than he thought it would. They always had such a hard relationship after the accident, and I think he has regrets.” Robin sighed. “But I guess it’s been quiet. Not that I’d know, but everything seems calmer. I’m glad. Jason needed a break. Whatever was going on, it feels like it’s over.”

Robin busied herself heating up the wings from the night before and missed the expression of speculation that crossed her mother’s face.

Coffee House: Office

Francis knocked on the open door. “Hey, do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, but I have to go—” Jason glanced at the clock. “In maybe ten minutes. We’re eating early tonight, and I want to be there before Carly.” Carly was mostly behaving herself, but it was still better to be present when she and Elizabeth were together. Carly had a way of sneaking in a dig that the kids wouldn’t understand, but Elizabeth absolutely would. Jason wasn’t interested in testing the limits of her patience, not today of all days.

“Ah, yeah, that’s a good idea. Mrs. C. never did like her much. Can’t imagine why,” Francis said dryly. “Anyway, you said Mrs. Hardy was heading back to Maple Avenue next week?”

“Yeah. Did you get the rotation set up?”

“Yep. She’ll have round the clock surveillance. I put some of the guys from Greystone on it. They’re used to sitting around and watching a house,” Francis said. “And I made it clear that she’s on Bobbie Spencer’s level when it comes to protection. So she’s good to go.”

“Thanks. I appreciate that. Not just because she has the boys with her sometimes, but—”

“She’s family, I get you.” Francis lifted the photo of Elizabeth and the boys, then looked at Jason. “Nice to see it out of the drawer.”

Jason took the frame back, nearly said nothing, then changed his mind. “You were right, you know. About when Sonny was at his best.” He set the frame on the desk. “I have to get home for Halloween.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

Nadine shoved the door open, and was already halfway across the room before she realized Johnny was in the kitchen, standing over the sink, holding up a clump of noodles, steam rising from the colander below it.

She furrowed her brow, looked behind her. “Did I come to the right apartment?”

Johnny turned, glowered. “It’s not funny.”

“I’m not—” Nadine felt a tickle in her throat, pressed her lips together. “I’m not laughing.”

“You are—” Johnny dropped the clump back into the plastic container, scowling at it. “I don’t know what I did wrong.”

Nadine dropped her handbag on the sofa, kicked off her shoes, and went over to him. Next to the sink, she saw a laptop opened to a how to article about —

“Boiling pasta,” she read, lifting her brows. What would it be like, she wondered, to have to look up such basic information? Aunt Rayleen had made sure Nadine and Jolene could look after themselves. That they’d never be like their mother, trapped by a man. They had careers and basic survival skills.

Which included boiling water.

“You know, it doesn’t look that bad actually.” Nadine opened a nearby cabinet, retrieved a bottle of olive oil. “Here, mix in a teaspoon of that.”

Johnny looked at her skeptically but obeyed the instructions — even though she had to correct which spoon he grabbed from the drawer. Eventually, with her help, they were able to salvage some of the pasta.

“Put that in before you boil the water, and it helps the pasta not to stick later, but it works after, too.” Nadine twisted the cap back on the oil. “Isn’t this usually our Chinese night?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t want another egg roll,” Johnny said. He lifted the cover over the sauce. “It doesn’t taste great, but I didn’t burn it, either.”

Nadine grinned at him, her terrible day forgotten. “Small victories. Let me show you some things we can add, and we’ll whip up some garlic bread.”

And so I’m sailing through the sea
To an island where we’ll meet
You’ll hear the music fill the air
I’ll put a flower in your hair
Though the breezes, through the trees
Move so pretty you’re all I see
As the world keeps spinning round
You hold me right here right now
– Lucky, Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat

---

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

 Jason watched as Elizabeth finished dressing and sat on the edge of the bed, sliding into a pair of boots. She barely even winced at the pressure when she leaned over to slide the zipper up, then tugged her jeans down.

“I’m fine, you know,” she said, sliding him an amused glance out of the corner of her eye. “Leo’s doing me a favor to squeeze me in today so I can get back faster. I could have gone back a week ago.”

“I know. And I know you miss work,” Jason said. “It’s just—”

“You like when everyone you love is where you can see them.” But she was smiling when she said it. She crossed the room, leaned up to brush her mouth against his. He caught her hips, holding her in place to deepen the embrace. When he pulled back, he cupped her face with one hand, the other resting at the curve of her waist.

“It should be safe enough to go back to the hospital,” he told her. “Spinelli said the firewall he installed is holding up, and he apparently fixed whatever was causing those misfires.”

“It’s such a relief to know the patients will be safe. I just—” Elizabeth sighed. “I just wish we knew who did this. If it was someone trying to use me against you or just some evil hacker who just likes chaos—”

Jason grimaced, looked down. “Spinelli said he’s not going to stop looking for hints in the code, but with nothing else happening—”

“And everything else going quiet, I know it’s a long shot.” She kissed him again, then went over to the top of his dresser where she was keeping her jewelry box temporarily. A few pieces of gold glinted when she lifted the top to remove the watch she’d stowed the day before and a necklace.

He moved behind her, offering to help with the clasp. It was such a small thing, he thought, to brush her hair to one side and fasten the necklace together. He kissed the side of her neck she’d left bared, and she laughed, leaning back against him. Moments like this had been so rare over the last year, in the few hours they’d managed to scrape together in hotels and the safe house. But during the last month, as she’d recovered, they’d become constant. Daily. But he hoped he never took them for granted.

“Before you go downstairs—” Jason said, catching her hand as she started for the door. He opened the top of the drawer, drew out a thick, cream envelope and handed it to her. Elizabeth furrowed her brow.

“You didn’t have to—” But she broke off, blinking at what she pulled out. “It’s in Italian, I don’t—” Elizabeth squinted, then looked at him. “Is this—is this property? There’s an address I think.”

“It’s a flat in Venice,” Jason told her. “I—I rented for the next year.”

“You—” Elizabeth pressed her lips together, then took a deep breath. “For a year?”

“I don’t know when we can go. How long things will be quiet, or when you’ll feel comfortable taking time from work again,” Jason said. “I know you’re worried about the hospital. And the boys are getting used to everything. We’ll be back in the house—but I didn’t forget about Italy.”

“I didn’t—I didn’t think you did.”

“So this is waiting. Whenever you want to go. Maybe we can go more than once. We could take the boys this summer or we can go somewhere else—” He broke off when Elizabeth came forward, wrapped her arms around his neck, letting the papers fall to the ground and kissed him hard. He buried his hands in her hair, losing himself in the way she felt against him, the taste, the knowledge that he didn’t have to let her go, that this was his normal—

“Do we have enough time for me to thank you properly?” Elizabeth murmured, her fingers sliding slowly down his collarbone, down his chest, towards the buckle of his jeans.

“Not unless you want to miss your doctor’s appointment,” Jason murmured against her mouth.

Elizabeth made a face then sighed, stepping back. “Okay, fine. But tonight, you’d better be home on time.”

“That’s not going to be a problem.”

Kelly’s: Courtyard

Maxie scrolled through the list on her notes app, pursing her lips. “I just know I’m missing something—oof!” She crashed into Spinelli’s back, then glared up at him. “Hey! What gives—”

Spinelli turned, put his hands on her shoulders to keep her from going around him. “The Jackal suddenly has a craving for Mexican—”

“It’s nine in the morning, Spinelli, you can have guacamole later—” Maxie arched her head, then narrowed her eyes. When she looked back at Spinelli, the blue had gone flinty. “Did you just not want me to see that son of a bitch and the trash he dragged through the door?”

“Maximista—” Spinelli winced when his girlfriend shoved him to one side, yanked open the door, and was over the threshold before he could recover his balance. With a reluctant sigh, he went after her.

Maxie had stopped in front of a table and planted both hands on her hips. “You got a lot of nerve coming here, don’t you know that?”

Nadine set the cup of coffee in her hand on the table, her lips thinning. She didn’t look up, but the man across from her was already pushing his chair back. “Johnny, don’t—don’t—”

But the Sceptic Son was not listening. He got to his feet. “No, I’m getting really tired of you going after me or Nadine every time you see us in public. What do you want me to do, hide in the apartment until you’ve decided I get to move on?” he demanded.

Though Johnny towered over her, Maxie only lifted her chin. “I think you should have waited until the ink was dry on Lulu’s transfer papers, you low-down lying cheating piece of scum, and you—you—” She jabbed a finger at Nadine. “Pretending to give a damn about Lu, checking on her, don’t think I don’t know what you were doing—”

“You only give a damn now because you feel guilty!” Johnny shot back, his face flushed. “You weren’t even friends!”

“We were going to be! We would have been, okay? You don’t know! You don’t know anything! I wanted to tell the truth and so did she, but you wouldn’t let us! And now look what happened!”

“Oh, you’ve got one hell of a way of rewriting history, you little twit—”

Spinelli winced as Maxie’s face flushed an even deeper shade of scarlet, then looked at Nadine sinking lower into her chair, her head in her hands. “Maximista, perhaps we should—”

“No! No! This is my town, okay? Mine! And Lu’s. We were here first. You don’t get to chase me out of this diner. Her family owns it, and you’re in here flaunting your cheap imitation whore—”

“You’d know all about cheap imitation, wouldn’t you? What shade of box dye is that on your head?”

The sound that emerged from Maxie’s mouth might have been meant to be a growl, but the pitch of her voice made it more like an angry squeak. She snatched a glass of orange juice from the table and dashed its contents in Johnny’s face. Before he could do anything but blink, she’d grabbed Nadine’s pancakes and launched them. Johnny dried to dodge it, pancakes going flying, but the plate hit him in the corner of the jaw.

“Hey, hey, hey—okay, okay—” Spinelli grabbed Maxie’s hands when she went for a plate of home fries in front of a stunned customer. “Okay, let’s go. We’re going. We’re going. Now.”

“No, no, I’m just getting started!” Maxie tried to kick out at Johnny even as Spinelli dragged her backwards towards the door. “Let me at him! Let me shove a hash brown down his throat so I can watch him choke—”

She was still making threats of breakfast food violence when Spinelli finally got her out the door and into the courtyard.

Johnny scowled, flicking bits of pancake and syrup from his long-sleeved shirt. He looked at Nadine. “You were right. We should have stayed in.”

Her head snapped up, her blue eyes no less furious than the woman who’d just been dragged out. She jerked her purse off the back of the chair, and headed for the door, yanking her coat from the rack on her way.

Johnny sighed, looked over at the shell-shocked waitress. “So, uh, I’ll cover everyone’s tab here, and uh, extra for the cleanup.”

Metro Court Hotel: Restaurant

 Bobbie pressed a finger to her temple, then sighed. “All right. All right, thank you, Penny. I’ll look into it. Thank you. I’d be lost without you.” She closed her phone just as Carly slid into the seat across from her. “Good morning. I’d almost given up hope.”

“Sorry.” Carly dropped a napkin over her lap. “I would have called but I left my phone off the charger last night, and didn’t realize until I was in the car, and it was dead. One of those mornings.” She nodded at the phone next to her mother’s plate. “Who were you talking to?”

“Penny. She’s been acting manager at Kelly’s for the last few months, but I need to find someone permanent. Apparently, Maxie started throwing breakfast food at Johnny Zacchara in the middle of the breakfast rush.” Bobbie made a face. “A beautiful girl, but she didn’t inherit a lick of common sense from either of her parents.”

“Considering what she pulled on Lucky two years ago,” Carly said, smiling up at the waitress who poured her coffee, “I’d think she had more Spencer in her than Felicia Jones.”

“I’d love to argue that point with you, but I simply can’t.” Bobbie tipped her head. “You’re not going to comment on Johnny Zacchara being pelted with sausages?”

Carly arched a brow, then folded her arms on the table. “Am I supposed to root for Maxie because Johnny’s the top suspect in what happened to Sonny? He has an alibi, Mama. He was with Nadine, proposing marriage. Ask anyone.”

“Carly.”

“Are you wearing a wire or something? I thought this was just breakfast, not an interrogation.” Carly picked up her coffee and sipped it. “Jason handled all of that, and if he’s satisfied, so am I. Aren’t you proud of me for not going off half-cocked and making a mess?”

“Proud? Worried, maybe. Carly—”

“Did Kelly’s survive the food fight or what? Are you going to have Maxie arrested?”

“No. No. Johnny paid for the whole thing and stayed to clean up. But since we’re on the subject of Johnny Zacchara—”

“Are we?”

“You were supposed to talk to Patrick yesterday about Sonny. I’m guessing from the lack of a phone call last night, the meeting didn’t go well.”

“It went…” Carly hesitated. “It went the way I thought it would. No change. Not in brain activity or the prognosis. I’ve called Silver Water.”

“You—” Bobbie blinked. “Already? What does Jason say?”

“Jason is living his life, enjoying his family just the way I promised him. He hasn’t been involved in any of it. And I’m not talking to him about it, either. Not tonight.”

“Well, no, of course not tonight, but—”

“Then why are we having this conversation?” Carly snapped, and Bobbie closed her mouth. Carly sighed, dragged her hands down her face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just—it doesn’t change anything. Talking about it. Going to see him. None of it. Sonny is gone. And talking to Jason about it—I don’t want to do it. Okay? Because that makes it all real and I don’t want to do that until I know Silver Water can take him. Jason’s been through too much this last year for me to pile more on his plate until I have to. Can that be enough? Can we please talk about something else?”

Crimson Pointe: Living Room

“I don’t like it.”

Claudia rolled her eyes, ignored her father, and turned the page in her fashion magazine. She heard the sound of the wheels on his chair as he drew closer to her but continued not to give him the satisfaction.

“Hey, Jezebel—”

“You know, Daddy, there are a lot of other wicked women you could go with. Delilah. Eve. I like Athaliah,” Claudia said, lowering the magazine in time to see her father’s bushy brows draw together.

“What are you babbling about?”

“Athaliah. Jezebel’s daughter.” She returned her attention to the magazine. “She was married to the King of Judah and murdered her grandchildren after his death to keep the throne. A woman who’d do anything to secure her power. Seems more accurate.”

“I don’t want to debate the damned Bible with you!”

“Then find a new insult.” She finally closed the magazine. “Other than me, what’s making you unhappy today?”

Anthony leaned back, contemplative — never a good sign, Claudia thought. “How’s your brother?”

“You know as well as I do. Probably better since you’re having them tailed. Don’t make that face, no one told me.” She shrugged. “That’s just standard operations.” She rose to her feet, crossed the room to the breakfast buffet. “Let me guess, Mary Sunshine goes to work and comes home, and Johnny doesn’t leave the apartment much.”

“Sometimes the girl goes jogging,” Anthony muttered. “But I didn’t ask what he’s doing. I asked—”

“Don’t tell me you’re concerned about John’s mental health.” Claudia popped a grape in her mouth. “Since his first memory is probably the bullet you put in his mother—”

“I don’t know why I bother with you,” Anthony growled. “He won’t return my calls. And for some damned reason, he’ll talk to you. So go up there and find out what the hell is going on.”

“You almost sound worried. Touching.” Claudia folded her arms. “Look if you’re worried the nurse will get cold feet and turn John in for the shooting, I think we’re in the clear. If that were going to happen, it would have been weeks ago. Sonny’s not waking up, so everyone is in the clear—”

“Every time we think we’ve got things under control with that boy, he screws it up. Do what I tell you.”

She considered refusing just for fun, but since she was a little worried herself — John had more of a moral compass than he should considering his family background, and, well, there were just some family secrets that needed to stay under wraps.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll give him a call. I bet he’s bored enough by now to have lunch or something this week.” She smirked. “And how desperate are you to be coming to me for help?”

“It’s time you earned your keep,” Anthony muttered. “Shut up and do what you’re told.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Patrick held out a hand to his secretary, his attention divided between the phone in the crook of his shoulder and the screen in front of him. “I heard you the first time, Archie, that’s not changing the fact that we’re short staffed and if we can’t even keep up with the turnover in the nursing staff—”

He felt the papers drop in his hand, and he curled his fist around them, giving his secretary a distracted nod and glanced down at the clutch of pink phone messages. “No, I don’t just need six new nursing positions, I need to find three replacements for the ones that just quit—don’t start—yeah, that’s what I thought.” He tossed the phone aside, and it nearly fell off the base.

“Someone’s in a bad mood,” Leo murmured as he came up behind Patrick, catching the phone before it clattered to the ground. “Bad day?”

“Bad month.”

“It’s November 1.”

“Two nurses quit,” Patrick retorted. “And we never found a replacement for the one who left two weeks ago. Please, please tell me that you cleared Elizabeth to come back. Or I am going to jump off the roof.”

“Relax.” Leo leaned back against the counter. “She’ll be ready to come back in a few days. And she does the work of two nurses, so you’re almost in the clear. Things are okay, Patrick. Not a single misfire in more than three weeks—”

“Oh, and that makes it all better? I’m glad that problem is fixed, but I’m still putting out a thousand fires in another department—” Patrick hesitated over one of the pink messages.

“More bad news?” Leo asked, craning to look over his shoulder. “The old man?”

Patrick crumbled the message in his hand. Another call from Noah Drake who’d returned to his position in Arizona. “He can keep calling. It’s not going to change the fact that I don’t have time for him.”

“You’re just not going to talk to your dad for the rest of your life? Come on, man. He’s got your liver rolling around in him—” Leo stopped when Matt stepped up to the counter. He closed his mouth.

Patrick flicked another message from Noah into the trash, ignoring Matt. They’d had their moment in the locker room a month earlier and had gone their separate ways. Elizabeth was right — not seeing the kid as an enemy was better, but that didn’t make them friends. Or brothers.

“You know better, Leo. The liver regenerates.” Patrick tapped the side of his abdomen. “All grown back like it never happened. I have enough to worry about without thinking about what a disappointment Noah Drake ended up being. Turns out I was right all those years. He’s not worth knowing. I have somewhere to be.”

And with that he dumped the rest of the messages in the trash and left the hub without looking back.

Harborview Towers: Hallway

“I can’t wait to get back to work,” Elizabeth told her grandmother as they approached the door. “I mean, I’m going to miss you being here, don’t get me wrong, but—”

“It’ll be good for all of us to get back to normal, but—” Audrey stopped Elizabeth before she could twist the doorknob. “I’m so grateful, darling, that I came to stay. That I took this opportunity to be with you and the boys. To get to know Jason.”

“And your verdict?” Elizabeth asked with a quirk of her brow.

Audrey’s lips twitched. “You know very well that I’ve been impressed. Not just with how he treats the boys, I never really had any worries on that end. But in how he treats you. Best of all, my darling, in how he looks at you when you don’t know it.”

Elizabeth’s breath caught. “What—what do you mean?”

“There is a great deal about Jason that I will never be able to wrap my mind around, or put a complete seal of approval on, but oh, he just looks at you as if you’re the center of his world. The sun rises and sets on you and those boys for him. I think I can understand why you’d take the rest of it.” Audrey squeezed Elizabeth’s hand. “I can go home, knowing for certain that you and my great-grandchildren are in good hands. With someone who finally understands how special all three of you are.”

“Gram—” Elizabeth swallowed hard. “I wasn’t expecting—that’s the really the best birthday present I could have gotten tonight.”

“Oh, well, why don’t we put that to the test?”

“What?” Elizabeth’s brow furrowed in confusion, but then her grandmother pushed the door open.

“Surprise!”  Noise spilled out from the living room, including a mixture of cheers, noisemakers, and a pop of confetti. Cameron raced across the room to his mother, Jake on his heels.

“What’s all this?” Elizabeth said, crouching down to give both her boys a hug. She looked around, unable to take it all in. Monica and Bobbie were by the fireplace, Carly and Patrick milling by the pool table. Jason coming up behind the boys to pick up Cameron so that Elizabeth could lift Jake, and both boys were being held.

“What is this—” Elizabeth looked at Jason with wide eyes.

“Happy birthday, Mommy!” Cameron declared, wrapping his arms around her neck. “You the prettiest! We got you cake!”

“I like cake,” Jake said, leaning his head against his father’s shoulder. “Frosting.”

“Happy birthday,” Jason said, kissing her cheek. “I told you I’d be home on time.”

“You did.” She grinned at him. “I guess our plans will have to wait.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

‘Cause I’m not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I’m gonna find someone someday
Who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rear-view mirror disappearing now
And it’s too late for you and your white horse
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now
– White Horse (TV), Taylor Swift

---

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Nadine’s Apartment: Kitchen

The first time she slammed the cabinet door, Johnny barely noticed it. The second time, he glanced over from the sofa, and the third time, he cleared his throat and got to his feet. “Uh, did you want help putting the dishes away?”

Nadine pressed her lips together, said nothing. She closed the dishwasher with the toe of her foot, then a bump of her hip.

“Okay,” Johnny said, drawing the word out uncertainly. “Are you still mad at me?”

“No, why would I be mad at you?” she asked sweetly, picking up the plastic dish with the leftovers from dinner. She yanked the fridge open, dropped the container on the middle shelf, then let the door slam.

“I didn’t throw the food.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I didn’t start it either,” Johnny said, following Nadine back into the living room. He snagged his jacket from the hook hurriedly when she dragged her sweatshirt over her head. “You’re not going jogging at this time of night — we’re in the middle of a conversation.”

“No, we’re not.” Nadine pulled the door open, but he slapped a hand on it and shut it. She scowled, pulled it open again, and then they wrestled for a minute over the doorknob. “I want to go for a walk, and I don’t want to look at you right now—”

“Okay, so you are mad at me.” Johnny slithered in front of the door, arched his brows. “Why can’t you just say that? I didn’t start the fight. And I paid for everyone’s food, remember? I stayed to clean up!”

Nadine closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and counted to ten. “The last time Maxie saw us together at the hospital, what happened?”

“Hospital security had to escort us both out. In my defense, she kicks—” He rubbed his forearm. “And bites—”

“For the last month, every time Maxie so much as sees us breathing the same air, she loses her mind. I asked you, no, I begged you, just ignore her. Don’t respond. Don’t fight back. Walk away. We could have just—”

“Let her win?” Johnny made a face. “Not a chance. She’s wrong—”

“She’s not!” Nadine retorted. “The only reason any of this is happening is because Lulu isn’t here. Okay? If she were okay, you never would have been on the pier with me, we wouldn’t have gone to Vegas, and we wouldn’t be sleeping together!” She dragged her hands down her face. “Maxie’s not wrong. Even a little bit. Okay? And she knows it.”

“She doesn’t know—”

“Johnny—” There was a sudden pressure behind her eyes, and Nadine had to exhale, to look away. “Sometimes you can be the most infuriating man alive, do you know that?”

Johnny straightened, moved away from the door. “You’re complicating something that doesn’t need to be complicated. Maxie will cool down and we can all just get on with our lives—”

“Yeah? What does that look like, Johnny? What, four or five months, we’ll figure no one will ask any questions, and we’ll just get a divorce? You’ll go back to your crazy family, and I’ll get my half of the closet back?”

Johnny opened his mouth, then closed it. “What does that mean? What are you asking me?”

“Nothing. Nothing. You’re right. This is only as complicated as we want it to be, and you don’t want it to be, do you?”

When he just looked at her, she nodded. “Exactly. So when I ask you to stop poking at Maxie who is justifiably angry about what happened to her friend and how we handled it, maybe next time you’ll listen. Now, get out of my way and let me go for a walk.”

This time, he didn’t stop her.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Look at you, throwing parties. Who would have guessed it?” Bobbie teased, joining Jason by the fireplace as he watched Jake carefully build a tower from the Legos he’d spilled out onto the floor.

Across the room by the desk, Elizabeth had been cornered by her grandmother and Monica, her smile bright and her eyes happy. After a long year—after several long years — of seeing her cry more than smile, it was a relief that only memories of Emily a few days earlier had brought those tears to the surface.

“Audrey handled everything.”

“Well, still, it’s a good thing to get everyone together. Though maybe I should have tied a chicken or something around Carly’s neck so that someone over the age of twenty-five will talk to her,” Bobbie said. Jason searched out Carly who was making very awkward conversation with Spinelli, practically the only adult in the room other than Jason who could stand her. Cameron and Morgan took turns chasing each other, looping around sofas and pool tables.

“I told her she didn’t have to come,” Jason reminded Bobbie, who just sighed.

“I told her that, too, but well, maybe she took it as a dare. She said she’s been trying hard to be good, at least since some incident at the hospital.” Bobbie lifted her brows. “How’s she doing? Is she finally learning to play well with the other kids?”

“Good. She’s been great. With Cam, I mean. And having Morgan around has really made the adjustment easier for him. And Elizabeth hasn’t said anything about her.”  Not that she would, Jason thought. She never did complain to him about Carly, preferring to handle it herself.

“Moving in here or losing Lucky?” Bobbie wanted to know. When Jason just looked down, she sighed. “I wish I could understand what happened to my nephew. He wasn’t always like this. Or, you know, maybe he was,” she murmured, more to herself. “His answer when things were difficult was to run away. Couldn’t deal with his father, okay, but the way he treated Laura—I don’t know. Maybe he was always going to grow up to be Luke.”

Jason sipped his beer, and Bobbie tapped his arm. “You don’t have to answer that. Or say anything. The boys have been good for each other. And I’m so glad they both have you.” She paused. “I don’t—I don’t want to pry or poke into anything, but you should know that Patrick’s talked to Carly about decisions that need to be made for Sonny.”

Jason took a deep breath, looked over to Patrick who had joined Elizabeth by the door. “I—I haven’t asked her.”

“I know. And Carly’s a little prickly on the subject, too. I just thought you should know the topic has been raised.”

Drake Condo: Living Room

Robin rubbed her belly, feeling the reassuring press of a tiny foot against her hand. “You know, if you’d just come out, I could have gone out tonight,” she muttered to her unborn child. “You’re being very stubborn.”

“Are you insulting my grandchild?” Anna asked. Robin turned to find her mother smiling, holding out a cup of herbal tea. “This is a good lesson for you to learn. Children will do as they please. You certainly did.”

“I want to argue with that, but I can’t. Uncle Mac basically threw up his hands after a while.” Robin sipped her tea. “I was doing just fine with all of this, living my life, going where I wanted, but a week ago, it just became impossible.”

Anna just smiled, went over to the sofa, began to organize the pillows, fold the throw blanket Robin had used earlier that day. “Any day now. Or minute. And Patrick is just a phone call away. I’m sure Elizabeth understands — you said she was a mother, didn’t you? She and Jason have how many children?”

“Two,” Robin said absently, then frowned, looked at her mother. “No, one. Well, the younger son is Jason’s biological son. The older is from someone else, I don’t really know anything about him.”

“Wasn’t she married to Lucky Spencer? I thought I remember something about it from my visit last year—” Anna furrowed her brow. “Or was it two years ago?”

“They divorced last year, but they’d been having issues for a while.” Robin began a lap around the room, wincing as the baby shifted, pressing against her ribs. She rubbed her belly again, hoping to get the baby roll another way. “They separated, and Liz and Jason had something. It was a mess for a while, but it seems like it’s sorted out now.”

“I still find it laudable that you’re friendly with your ex-boyfriend. And that you’ve become such close friends with the new woman in his life. Holly and I could never quite achieve that, though I tried to be friendly for your sake.”

Robin snorted. “If that was you being friendly —” Her mother flashed her a quick grin. “I told you before — it’s been ages since Jason and I were together and, well, Liz got close to Patrick first. She was really great when I found out I was pregnant. When I left Port Charles, I was sure Jason would end up with Carly. Thank God he found Liz. And I’m glad he’s a father. He really deserves it.”

Anna lifted his brows. “I’m certainly not one to talk about having a family with a dangerous profession, but is it really a good idea for a man like him to have a family?”

Robin bristled. “A man like him? A wonderful, devoted, loyal, and generous man?”

“A man in the business that he is,” Anna said, unruffled by her daughter’s sharp tone. “Look what happened to that poor boy and Jason’s business partner—”

“Neither of those things were Jason’s fault. And if people listened to him more often, they wouldn’t have—” Robin closed her mouth, her throat suddenly tight. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t even know how we got on this topic, darling.” Anna rubbed her shoulder. “You know your friend best. Drink your tea and we’ll find something to watch until Patrick returns.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth sidestepped Cameron and Morgan on another lap around the pool table, lifting the tray in her hands high to avoid being knocked down.

“Let me grab that,” Patrick said, reaching for it. “Birthday girl doesn’t work.” She followed him over to the desk which had been cleared off for the birthday cake Bobbie had pulled out of the fridge earlier.

“Moms don’t get days off,” Elizabeth said, already tidying the table, tucking plastic forks and spoons back into the red cup that had tipped over at some point. Patrick slapped playfully at her hands. “Please, just wait until Robin has a kid living outside her body. It’s impossible to turn the radar off.”

“Fair enough—” Patrick paused when the door behind them opened and Maxie came through, her jacket thrown over her arm and a gift bag in her hand. The blonde ignored them both and headed right for Spinelli, tossing the gift haphazardly on the coffee table.

Elizabeth pursed her lips, then deliberately turned back on the blonde. “Carly and Maxie at my birthday party. Who made this list again?”

Patrick smirked, then his smile faded when snatches of Maxie and Spinelli’s conversation drifted over to them. Maxie was animated, her hands flying in the air, and Spinelli had his shoulders hunched. “And she doesn’t look happy to be here.”

“Well, who wants to attend the birthday party of your ex-boyfriend’s ex-wife?” Elizabeth shrugged a shoulder. “I’m sure Spinelli didn’t even think about it. He wasn’t around for that stuff.”

She caught Jason’s eye across the room and saw him also looking at the pair with a little concern. She shook her head, trying to indicate that it was okay, and he nodded, returned his attention to keeping Cameron and Morgan from knocking things over. Carly was with her mother, doing everything she could to avoid Monica Quartermaine, who was glaring at her.

“Happy birthday to me,” Elizabeth murmured, then focused on Patrick again. “Sorry. I really shouldn’t be annoyed. I drove Jason crazy with Lucky and Ric and—well, let’s just say the list doesn’t end there. How is Robin?” she asked, changing the subject. “Driving you crazy?”

“Driving everyone crazy. Thank God her mom showed up to distract her,” Patrick muttered. “Did she tell you that our offer on the house was accepted?”

Elizabeth lit up. “Really? That’s amazing! Oh, I’m so happy. Our kids will grow up near each other, and you’re going to love the neighborhood. Cam’s not in public school yet, but I’ve heard great things.”

“Robin has us on the wait list at St. Andrews already,” Patrick said with a grimace. “The tuition is ridiculous. It’s preschool, and I think it costs as much as Harvard.”

“Oh, I know.” She made a face. “If it weren’t for Cam’s grandfather leaving him a trust fund for education, I’d be over at Happy Wagon or whatever that place is called near the hospital. But thanks to Cameron Lewis, I applied for St. Andrew’s the second I came home from California. Being Steve and Audrey Hardy’s great-grandson was definitely my ticket in. But it’s worth it. Cam adores it, and he’s already learned so much just in two months.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s something I have to start thinking about. Schools and pediatricians. Robin’s probably got lists for that, too. But before we can worry about any of that, we’ve got to have a baby. Kelly says if she still hasn’t delivered in a week, we’re inducing.” He rolled his shoulders. “She wanted to come—”

“But going anywhere right now is awful. I completely understand. Tell her not to worry. You know Kelly has everything under control. There’s no one I’d trust more. You know what I went through with Jake, and Kelly’s the reason I’m still here.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just—” Patrick looked down at the bottle of beer in his hand. “After what happened to you, I just can’t stop myself from thinking what if Robin’s the next patient? What if the baby needs something—”

“Spinelli fixed the codes. And installed a firewall,” she reminded him gently, touching his arm. “And if I’m back to work, you know you can call me. I’ll work on her case and watch everything like a hawk. Any nurse would, but—”

“But you know what could happen,” Patrick finished. He rubbed his chest with a lightly fisted hand. “Yeah. Yeah. I know Spinelli did everything he could to make the system safe, and everyone’s happier, but—”

“But,” she said with a nod when he stopped talking. “You don’t have to tell me. We’re still short-staffed, and I overheard Epiphany saying we lost two more nurses.”

“I don’t want you to worry about any of that—”

“But I do. Gram and I were talking about the nursing program. How much it meant to both of us. And what the hospital means to our family. To Jason’s—” she looked at him now, trapped with Monica who had brought baby photos of Jason for them to compare to Jake. Jason held them in his hand and Monica had Jake in her arms, smiling broadly. “The hospital matters, Patrick. It’s given me so much. I want to find a way to give back. I know it’s not as simple as just asking Jason for the money. I’ve thought about it, but—”

“We can’t afford any, uh, questions about the source,” Patrick said with a sigh, and she nodded, making a face. “Yeah. I’m getting to the point where I don’t care, but that’s just desperation.”

“We’ll figure it out, Patrick. Somehow.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

The electric keyboard wasn’t the same as the piano back home, and it was hard to really get lost in the music the way he used to with it propped on the coffee table, bumping into his knees, but it was better than nothing.

He didn’t know how long Nadine was gone and he didn’t hear the door when it opened again, but he felt the mood in the apartment shift, the energy change. He glanced towards the door, saw Nadine leaning against it, her expression pensive.

He let the piece he was playing trail off. “Sorry, I know it’s getting late—”

“I like listening to you play.” Nadine toed off her sneakers, then curled up in the armchair next to the sofa. “Which one is that? I’ve heard it before.”

“Moonlight Sonata. Beethoven,” he added. “I know it by heart. Don’t even have to look at the keys anymore.” He demonstrated by keeping his eyes on her face while his fingers danced across the keys, playing the next stanza.

“Probably loses some of its power on a dinky keyboard propped up on a coffee table,” Nadine said with a sigh.

“A little.” He switched off the keyboard, then flexed his fingers. “Are we still fighting?”

“No. I just—I want you to ignore Maxie the next time she starts—” Nadine held up a hand when Johnny opened his mouth to protest. “She visited Lulu in the hospital every day. Going back and forth between Kate Howard’s controlling cousin and sitting for hours, chattering away at a woman who never answered.”

Johnny exhaled, dropped his gaze down to the black and white piano keys. “They weren’t even that close. She’s being dramatic—”

“Maybe. Maybe she’s carrying the same guilt you do. Neither of you put Lulu in that bed or caused her to crawl inside herself and not come back. But you both carry the weight of it. You pretend it doesn’t matter, like it didn’t happen. And she attacks you—and me—because it feels better to have someone to blame.”

“I don’t—” Johnny closed his mouth. He couldn’t even finish the statement. “I don’t know what else to do.” He looked at her. “We all have to figure out how to cope, right? I pretend it didn’t happen, Maxie gets homicidal rage, and you smile at everyone trying to fix them. I mean, that’s how you’re handling the way people talk about you, right?”

“We’re not talking about me—” Nadine pushed herself to her feet, headed for the kitchen and to the bedroom beyond, but he followed her.

“You came to town because of what your sister did, you told me that. To put some good back into the world. How’s that working for you? You saved Nikolas’s life, and he walked out. You tried to help me, and look how that turned out—”

Nadine turned to face him, her expression strained. “I didn’t try to help because of Jolene. And that’s not why I tried to help Nikolas—”

“Really? Did you even know Nikolas? But you went out on every limb trying to save him from himself, forcing him to save his own life. And me? You threw away your whole life to help me. Who does that?”

“Oh, now you want to complain? Let’s remember who talked who into this, Johnny! That was you—” She jabbed a finger into his chest. “I wanted to go to the police, but you reminded me that they suck at doing the right thing and convinced me that getting married would solve our problems. Now you’re mad because I agreed?”

“That’s not what I meant—” Johnny started, but Nadine sliced her hand through the air.

“No! No! I’m sick of being told what I’m doing and why I’m doing it, okay? You don’t know me, you don’t know a damn thing about me! No one does. I’m not some piece of white trash chasing bank accounts or a useless girl who just wants to save the world—”

Johnny scowled. “Now who’s putting words in who’s mouth? I never said a word about the money. You refuse to take it, and who the hell called you white trash, because I sure as hell didn’t—” His scowl deepened when Nadine looked away. “Who’s calling you a gold digger, Nadine? Is that what they’re saying at the hospital? Because—”

“Forget it. Forget I said anything. Forget all of it. I don’t want to have this argument anymore. If you want to fight with Maxie everywhere, then fine. Do whatever makes you happy. What does it matter that all it does is humiliate me? It didn’t matter to Jolene, didn’t matter to Nikolas. Why would you be any different?”

She slammed the bedroom door before Johnny could say a word. He stood in the middle of the tiny kitchen, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now.

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Elizabeth held up the T-shirt with the Crimson Magazine logo scrawled across it, then looked at Jason across the room. “Well, maybe I should be relieved it’s not poison.”

“I didn’t even—” Jason came over, took the shirt and the gift bag which also included a few back issues of the magazine. Maxie had clearly just grabbed something on her way out of the office that evening. “I didn’t think about telling Spinelli not to invite her, I’m sorry—”

“It’s fine. I’m just surprised she even went to the trouble of giving me a gift, even a terrible one. It’s more than my parents have done in—” She considered. “Three or four years, maybe. Not since before Cameron.” She took the bag back from him, tossed it in the back of the closet, then slid her arms around his waist. “Thank you. For tonight.”

“It was your grandmother’s idea—”

“And I’ve thanked her already, but it still means a lot to me to have the people I love in one room—along with people I tolerate because I love you,” she teased and he managed a half-smile. “I wasn’t…I wasn’t sure what it would be like to celebrate this year. I barely even remember last year. But Em would be so mad if I let it ruin another year.”

Jason stroked her back, and Elizabeth laid her head against his chest. “I know.” He kissed the top of her head. “I know you talk about her a lot with the boys. Cameron mentioned her. Said he missed Aunt Em bringing him chocolate.”

“Every visit. Always had candy for them hidden somewhere,” she murmured, closing her eyes. “I always told her one day, it’ll be your turn, and I’ll slip your kids candy, so they’re all sugared up together.” Her breath was only a little shaky now. “I hate that she’ll never have that. That we’ll never get to be moms together. But I want to keep her memory fresh for the boys. She loved them so much, and I hate that she’ll be nothing more than a picture.”

“Michael and Sonny…that’s what they’ll be for Morgan,” Jason said, and she stilled, her fingers resting against the soft cotton fabric of his shirt. “He won’t remember having an older brother. A father.”

She tipped her head back, and their eyes met. “Maybe not. But we’ll remember, and we’ll share them with Morgan. We won’t let them be forgotten.” Then she tipped her head to the side and smiled. “And I haven’t forgotten about my plans to thank you properly for my gift this morning.”

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
‘Cause they’re all wrong and
That last kiss, I’ll cherish until we meet again
And time makes it harder, I wish I could remember
But I keep your memory, you visit me in my sleep
My darling, who knew?
– Who Knew, P!nk

---

Monday, November 3, 2008

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bathroom

 Elizabeth swirled the toothbrush beneath the faucet, dropping it back into the container just as Jason pushed the shower door open and stepped out, grabbing a white towel to wrap around his waist. She turned around, leaned against the counter, arched a brow. “You know, I could put off my meeting with Epiphany another day.”

He paused in the act of dragging another, smaller towel through his hair, confused for a moment, then grinned. “You could. But your grandmother is still here.”

She wrinkled her nose. “And if I ask her to take Cameron to school, she’ll just have questions. No, fair point.” She turned back to the sink, reached for the mouthwash and he came up next to her, retrieving his own toothbrush. “I like this part.”

Their eyes met in the mirror, and she went on, “And I hope I never take it for granted. That I get to stand here with you in the morning, at night. That we have this.”

“You won’t—I won’t,” he promised her.

She finished her mouthwash, left him in the bathroom so that she could shed her robe and pull out some clothes. As much as she’d enjoyed the last few weeks, recuperating at home with her boys, having her family around, it was time to get back to normal.

Or whatever normal would look like now that her life included Jason.

“We haven’t talked about the boys with you going back on rotation,” Jason said, emerging from the bathroom. “I know you had Jake in daycare, but—”

“But that’s not possible now,” she said, and he nodded. “I figured. I don’t want to hire a nanny just for my hours—”

“I know. That’s why I thought—I can work from here. It’s different now,” he continued. “I’m…I’m the one—”

“You’re the one sending people out to do your old job,” Elizabeth finished, and he nodded. “Okay.”

“You’re okay with that?”

“Yeah. Of course.” She smiled. “I want you to have time with Jake, and you wouldn’t take him anywhere that wasn’t safe.” She stroked his arm. “We can do this, Jason. As long as we talk to each other.”

“I love you.” He leaned down, kissed her. “I need to get Cameron to school.”

She didn’t bother to tell him that he didn’t need to keep doing that either. Elizabeth thought Jason liked doing those small domestic duties, all the little bits and pieces that came with being a father. She’d deprived him of so much time, so many opportunities. But that was over now.

It was time for everything that came next.

Nadine’s Apartment: Kitchen

He’d slept on the sofa the last two nights.

It really shouldn’t have bothered him, Johnny thought, switching on the coffee pot, listening to the hiss and pop of percolating caffeine. He was supposed to be on the sofa. That had always been the plan. Go to Vegas, get married to protect them both, come back to Port Charles, and figure out how to handle everything else — but sleeping on the sofa was understood.

He’d changed it all — he’d reached for Nadine that first morning in Vegas because he’d wanted to, and because she’d looked so skeptical that anyone would believe he wanted her—and he’d kept reaching for her, even when she’d expressed doubts about the way they were complicating everything.

Until Saturday. Until he’d fought with Maxie again. Until Nadine had looked at him and reminded him point blank that this was temporary. That they were only in this mess because Lulu had lost herself, had been whisked away to California where he couldn’t even see her. That Maxie was furious that Johnny had married someone else only days later.

And he hadn’t been able to charm Nadine out of her anger, hadn’t been able to smile and flirt his way back to safety, so he’d turned on her, throwing her kindness back in her face—

He cringed now, thinking about it.

“You came to town because of what your sister did, you told me that. To put some good back into the world. How’s that working for you? You saved Nikolas’s life, and he walked out. You tried to help me, and look how that turned out—”

What an asshole. All she’d done since that night in the hospital was look after him, to do what was best for him. She’d done whatever she could to keep the PCPD and Scott Baldwin from dragging him to court again—even though this time he was actually guilty.

And that sat uncomfortably—the knowledge that Johnny was responsible for putting Sonny Corinthos in a coma. Maybe it had been self-defense, but it didn’t change what he’d done.

All Nadine had asked him to do was avoid Maxie. Not to engage. Not to be part of the public scenes.

“If you want to fight with Maxie everywhere, then fine. Do whatever makes you happy. What does it matter that all it does is humiliate me? Why should that matter? It didn’t matter to Jolene, didn’t matter to Nikolas. Why would you be any different?”

He leaned against the counter, staring blindly at the linoleum floor. She’d asked him for one thing.

It was time to figure out how to get that for her — even if that meant finding a way to make peace with Maxie. Nadine deserved at least that much, if not more.

General Hospital: Patrick’s Office

Patrick grinned when he saw Elizabeth knock on his open door and came to hug her. “Hey, Epiphany said you were coming in today. We miss you.”

“I miss you guys, too,” Elizabeth said, sitting down. “Epiphany put me back on rotation starting Wednesday, so—” She nodded at his desk stacked with files. “You look busy. I should get out of your hair—”

He touched the top of the files, laying his hand across the manila folder. “No, it’s not—I mean, they’re patient files. I—I’m trying to organize things to take off for a week or two.”

“You’re actually going to take paternity leave? Like not come to work for an entire day?” Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. “Do you know how to do that?”

“I don’t really have any choice,” he said. “Robin can’t—and shouldn’t be alone for this.” He hesitated, looked at the files, then back at her. “You were alone, weren’t you?”

“With Cam? Yeah, sort of. I mean, I had my grandmother, but Lucky was there with Jake.” She looked down at her hands. “He had to do a lot of the work in the beginning—I was recovering from the complications. He…was really good with him.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up—”

“No, it’s okay. It’s—” Elizabeth scratched the edge of her brow, then shifted, uncomfortable. “You know, it’s easy sometimes, I think, to focus on how it ended. On the way he left. He didn’t even tell the boys goodbye. I know it’s partially my fault—”

“Jake, yeah, okay, that’s on you. But not Cam. Don’t let yourself get sucked into blaming yourself because that twerp couldn’t hack being a hands-on father when he didn’t get his way. Cameron was his kid before there ever was a Jake. And there was no call for him to up and leave that boy just because he was pissed at you.”

“I know that, but—”

“But nothing.” Patrick shoved away from the desk, restless. “You don’t get to be a dad when it’s convenient. You know, we’re joking about how hard it’s going to be for me to take some time off, but if I could take more than two weeks, I’d do it. Robin’s doing the hard part. All I gotta do is sit there and wait for someone to give me my kid. But when they give me my daughter, Elizabeth, you better believe I’d kill someone who tried to take her away. I wouldn’t walk away from her, and I haven’t even met her yet. I don’t need to hold her to love her. What kind of—” He broke off, looked away.

“We’re not about Lucky anymore, are we?” Elizabeth asked softly. “Patrick—”

“No. I just—” Patrick pressed his lips together, took a deep breath. “Jason told me Cam was there that morning. That he saw Lucky leave. And I don’t get that. I don’t. I don’t get how you can switch off like that. My father—he was there every day when I was a kid. And I thought he was the world’s best father until he dove into the bottle.” He looked at her. “How does that happen? How does he show up for me but Matt? He’s nothing to my dad. Not even a blip. Just a couple of checks a year, and he doesn’t have to think about anything else. Never held him. Never sat with him. And he lived all this time like Matt didn’t exist. How does that work? How do you love one kid and hate the other?”

“People are human,” Elizabeth said. She rose, crossed to him. “And no parent ever sets out to love one child more than the other. Maybe Noah had guilt later, maybe he didn’t. I don’t know if my parents ever felt badly about the favoritism they showed Steven and Sarah. I don’t know how Lucky could be there for my little boy almost from the beginning, and then walk away. Jake—I know that it would have been hard for Lucky, to watch Jason step in with Jake, but I never had any intention of taking Cam from him. Even now, we’ve told Jake Jason’s his father, but Cam still just calls him Jason. Because he knows who his father is, even though he stopped asking for him.”

“And doesn’t that make you furious? Don’t you want to rip his throat out?”

“It just makes me sad,” she said, and he sighed. “For Cameron, who must be so confused, even though he’s handling it. And for Lucky. His greatest fear, you know, was that he’d end up like his father. That he’d let his family down when it mattered. It’s easier to run, Patrick. To hide. To pretend the problem doesn’t exist. But I can’t let it rule my life. If Lucky comes back, I’ll deal with it. But for now? My boys are safe, they’re healthy, and they’re loved. Your daughter is going to be so loved, she’ll be smothered with it. Our parents teach us so much about family, and who we want to be. They’re the model we’re trying to live up to—or avoid being.”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess that’s true.” He rubbed his face. “I don’t want to be Noah Drake.”

“You won’t be. You couldn’t be. Because you’d never run away when it gets hard. You could have turned down this job. But you come here every day and face it. That’s the kind of dad you’ll be. Someone who shows up and loves so fiercely it takes your breath away.”

Elizabeth touched the patient files, then met his eyes. “You should call Matt. He could take some of these off your hands.”

“I thought you weren’t going to meddle,” he muttered, but there was no heat in his tone.

“I think there’s a window where family gets to be close. A moment where they choose each other. I missed mine with Steven or Sarah, and there’s no guarantee it’ll ever open again. Matt’s a good doctor.” She held the top file out to him. “Give him a chance.”

Coffee House: Office

Carly set her bag on the chair, draped her coat over the back, and then took a deep breath before raising her head to look at Jason. “Mama said she’d talked to you.”

Jason’s mouth tightened and he dropped his gaze to his desk before forcing himself to look back at her. “I was going to call you.” And that was true, he thought, but he hadn’t exactly put it at the top of his list or let himself think about it much. He hadn’t even mentioned it to Elizabeth.

“Well, I’m here, so…” She looked down, plucked at a thread in her coat. “Patrick asked if I wanted some second opinions. You know, how I went all the way around the world trying to find someone, anyone who would tell me he was wrong about Michael. But he wasn’t then. And he’s not now.”

“No, I didn’t think he was.” Jason cleared his throat. “Are you thinking about sending him to Silver Water?”

“Yeah. Yeah, um, I like the idea of him being near Michael. I called, and they said they had a bed open. They’re holding it.” Carly’s fingers dug into the top of the chair. “Have you…I know it’s none of my business, but have you been to see him?”

“No.”

“Right.” She bit her lip. “Morgan’s handling it, but I was thinking maybe I should find someone for him to talk to. Or at least a therapist who can observe him. Make sure I’m not missing anything. It’s been…it’s been a hard year. The boys were close to Emily, too, so that’s…”

Jason exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry. I never meant for you take this on entirely—”

“It’s okay. It is, Jason. You were juggling a thousand things a few weeks ago, and I agreed with you then — your family came first. You couldn’t do anything for Sonny—”

“I could have. Elizabeth was in surgery. Maybe I could have checked in with him or called someone.”

Carly sat down, folded her hands in her lap. “Or Sonny could have learned a lesson from six months ago. He rushed into whatever happened on those docks. You said it was self-defense. Sonny went after Johnny out in the open. He was never like that before we lost Michael. He was out of control, and everything that happened after Kate was shot told us that. Maybe he was having an episode. I don’t know. But what I do know is none of this is your fault. Elizabeth nearly died. Sonny could have waited. He could have been sitting in the waiting room with you, waiting for word. That’s what a friend would have done.” Her voice faltered. “I should have done that.”

“Carly—”

She shook her head. “Don’t make excuses for me. We both know that I have to work twice as hard to be a good person. It doesn’t come naturally for me. It never has. Sometimes I stumble into it, and that’s great, but mostly someone has to point it out. I don’t want to be someone you take care of, Jason.” Carly exhaled in a quick breath. “And I didn’t come here to be a weepy mess. I figured you’d be okay with Silver Water. I’m going to make the arrangements and talk to Kate. She, um, got out of the hospital last week. I figure she should be in the loop since if not for a few minutes and a crazy shooter, this would be her decision.”

“I think that’s a good idea. Let me know if there’s anything you need from me.” Jason got to his feet, intending to walk her out but Carly remained still. “Was there something else?”

“I ask every time I go if you’ve been there.” Her eyes searched his, and he dropped his gaze first.  “Promise me, Jason. You’ll go to see him before we move him.”

“I—” He glanced away, then nodded. “Yeah. I’ll go.”

“Okay. I’ll call you later.”

Crimson Offices: Lobby

 Kate removed her sunglasses, stowed them in her purse and held it out to a beaming Maxie who snatched it, delighted to have Kate back.

“I can’t believe you’re already coming back to work,” Olivia complained following Kate into her office. “You just got out of the hospital—”

“I’ve recovered almost completely, Olivia.” Kate was relieved to see her desk was mostly clear. Maxie bustled in, heading to the cappuccino maker in the corner. It was lovely to be back in her element, to have her assistant who knew exactly how to look after her.

“But—”

“I appreciate you staying, that you came to the wedding at all,” Kate continued. She sat at her desk, holding out her hand to accept the drink Maxie brought her. “But I think we’ve learned that we do much better with some distance between us.”

“Distance,” Olivia repeated. She folded her arms. “You mean me back in Bensonhurst where I can’t remind you of where you came from—”

“I used to be ashamed of it.” Kate tipped her head. “Strange, isn’t it? The thought that someone would learn that I was born in Brooklyn and hadn’t spent my youth summering in Martha’s Vineyard. As if that was all that mattered in the world.” She sighed. “I’m not ashamed of who I was, Olivia, but that’s not who I am anymore. And I’m not sure you’re interested in Kate Howard. You proved that while I was in the hospital. When given the opportunity to put me first, you chose petty revenge.”

“Do you really think that’s why I did it?” Olivia planted a hand at her hip. “Do you really think that I give a damn about what happened twenty years ago?”

“Twenty-five. You’d think that it would be easy for you to remember that, all things considered—”

Olivia’s eyes darted over to Maxie, doing her best to fade into the curtains. She looked back at her cousin. “We don’t need to talk about any of that—”

“What’s the harm in doing it now? What can it possibly matter? Sonny’s not here to get angry at me for keeping the secret, at you for lying—”

Olivia folded her arms. “You think I give a damn about any of that? You promised you wouldn’t say a thing—”

“Back then, it was personal.” Kate’s lips flirted with a smile. She flexed her manicured hands. “I wanted him, so I took him. And I didn’t want him to have any ties to you. We both know what he would have done if you’d told him.”

“I wasn’t tying my life to a thug. You think what’s happened is a tragedy, but whoever put that bullet in you did you a favor, whoever put a bullet in him did a favor for the world—”

Kate’s expression went pale. “Get out. Now. And don’t ever come back.”

“With pleasure,” Olivia spat. She slammed the door behind her, and Kate took a breath, pressed a hand to her midsection, gathering herself.

Then she looked at Maxie who had remained as still as a statue, a notepad in her hands. “Family can be very difficult. Particularly when the history is filled with nothing but bad memories. I apologize for that scene.”

“Nothing to apologize for.” Maxie folded her arms. “Maybe Olivia really believes someone did you a favor, but they’re also why Lulu is gone, and she knows that. She just doesn’t care. So goodbye and good riddance.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth lifted the lid on a toy box, dropped the bundle she was holding into it, then looked at Jake. “This doesn’t open for at least an hour. Play with the toys that you already have.”

Jake considered the truck at his feet, screwing his tiny face up with thought. “Want fire.”

“Does it have to—”

“Fire,” Jake repeated, stomping his foot.

“Fine, fine. I’ll get the fire engine.” Elizabeth dug down to the bottom, retrieved the fire engine. “How about this one?”

Jake beamed at her. She set it on the floor in front of him. “Okay, go forth and annoy the world.” She winced when she heard the siren wailing as Jake rolled it towards the door. “Should have broken that thing when I had the chance.”

The front door opened, and Jason stepped in, frowning at the sound.

“Sorry, I tried to get him to play with the quiet dump truck—” She picked her way towards him—she’d only cleaned up about half the toys Jake had dragged out all morning. His favorite way to spend the day was emptying his toybox so he could see all his toys at once. “But he likes loud noise. I was hoping he’d inherit your love for quiet—” She raised her voice slightly to be heard over the clamor.

“No, I guess he got your love of chaos.” Jason dipped his head, kissed her. She sighed, leaned against him for a moment, enjoying it. She wouldn’t take her health for granted again, she thought.

“Yeah, well, between Jake liking things that make noise and Cameron’s need for speed, I’m a little scared.” She gestured towards the kitchen. “We can talk in there—the noise isn’t so bad when you’re not in the same room.” He followed her towards the back of the penthouse, and true enough, the fire alarm dulled a bit with the distance. “You sure you want to keep him at home?” she asked, pulling out ingredients for Jake’s usual sandwich lunch.

“I can handle it,” Jason said, but he was smiling when he sat at the table. “Did Epiphany put you back on the schedule?”

“Yeah. I’m hoping to get to the surgical floor. I like the hours better there, but we’re short-staffed in so many places.” She cut Jake’s sandwich in diagonal slices. “I thought you said you’d be at the coffee house until later. Plans change?”

“Yeah.” Jason leaned back in the chair, looked at the surface of the table. “Carly came by. It’s, uh, time to talk about long-term care. For Sonny.”

Elizabeth’s fingers stilled in the process of setting carrot pieces next to Jake’s sandwich. She went to him, and he pulled her down to sit on his knee. “What do you need?” she asked softly, touching his face, stroking his hair back. “What can I do?”

“Nothing. There’s…” He sighed, leaned his head against her chest. She kept combing through his hair. “He’ll go to Silver Water. Like Michael.”

She said nothing, knowing he wasn’t finished. He spoke again, “She wants me to go see him. Before.”

“Because you haven’t until now.” Because he couldn’t, she knew that. Couldn’t face it. Until he sat in the room next to Sonny’s still body, next to a shell of the man who had played such a pivotal role in Jason’s life—part of Jason could pretend it wasn’t happening. “Gram is still here. Let’s take advantage of that. After the boys are in bed, we’ll take the bike. We’ll make it go away for a little while.”

“I don’t know if that’ll work, but—” Jason tipped his face back so that their eyes met. “Yeah. Okay.”

And now here I stand with these blood soaked hands
On this sleepless night, that never ends
And these songs I sing
With these hopes that I cling to
Desperately wondering
Are we finally getting to something new?
– Something New, Airborne Toxic Event

---

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Maxie yelped, then jumped back. “What the hell was that?”

Spinelli, not paying all that much attention to her, just grunted from his position on the sofa, hunched over his laptop. “What was what?”

Maxie leaned down, snatched something from the ground. “This!”

He glanced over, then squinted. “One of the Little Dude’s army guys. Gotta watch where you walk, Maximista. Little bit of a minefield these days—”

“Ugh—” Maxie dropped the plastic figurine onto the coffee table. “Didn’t we spend, like, half a day putting together a perfectly good bedroom and play area for those little urchins? Why do they have to infest the entire penthouse?”

Spinelli winced. “You can’t be talking that way,” he said, glancing over his shoulder towards the doorway almost as if he expected Elizabeth or her grandmother to burst in. Fortunately for Maxie, they’d taken Jake to the park for a few hours, otherwise he never would have let Maxie upstairs.

“I can do whatever I want especially since Elizabeth literally chased Lucky and Sam right out of the entire state. Not that I care about Lucky, but you know, he never even gets to see his sons—” She shook her head. “Never mind. Whatever. That’s not why I came over. Has that slutty nurse said anything to you?”

He closed his laptop, tucked it under his arm as he stood. “The Jackal requires another liter of orange soda.”

“Don’t change the subject. I wanna know what Nadine’s said about Saturday. I’m sure she’s trying to turn you against me and I—”

“She doesn’t talk about you at all—”

“Bullshit. That asshole humiliated me—”

Spinelli opened his mouth, but then shook his head. “The Jackal would very much like to change the subject—”

“Why? Don’t you get that she seduced Johnny right out from under Lulu’s nose, and she turned him against me—we were friends, okay? United front, and now we hate each other—”

“That is not what happened—”

“She saw her chance to get Johnny, and she went after him. She didn’t even wait for Lulu to be adjusted to the time change—there’s a word for women who go after other girl’s men, and it’s—”

“Maxie Jones?”

Maxie whirled around, her eyes almost comically wide when she saw Elizabeth standing in the partially open doorway. Spinelli grimaced — they’d been so loud he hadn’t heard the key in the lock. “Excuse me?” Maxie demanded, whirling around.

Elizabeth closed the door, tossed her keys on the desk. “You heard me, Maxie. If you’re going to stand in my home and talk about homewrecking sluts, let’s start with you—”

“Oh, you’ve got a lot of nerve!” Maxie retorted. “This was Sam’s home first!”

Elizabeth arched a brow. “If you’re going to throw insults, try not to sound pathetic. Sam’s been gone from here a long time. But Lucky? He was still my husband when you stole pills for him, don’t you remember?”

“I—” Maxie pressed her lips together. “You were sleeping with Patrick—”

“You know that’s not true. You’ve been told repeatedly that’s not true by everyone involved, including Lucky. But you need it to be, don’t you?” Elizabeth sauntered towards her, smirking. “Because that’s how you justify sleeping with my husband—”

“Are you going to let her talk to me this way?” Maxie said, turning to Spinelli. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“The Jackal would very much like to be excluded from this narrative,” Spinelli said.

Maxie narrowed her eyes. “Coward,” she hissed, then focused back on Elizabeth. “I’m sorry, but which one of us had to have a paternity test? Because that was you—”

“Which one of us faked a pregnancy and a miscarriage to keep a man interested?” Elizabeth interrupted, and Maxie’s face went white. “Yeah, you think you’re all grown up and mature with your big important job, but you haven’t learned a damn thing from getting in the middle of adult business, have you?”

“You never deserved Lucky! He loved you!”

“You’re right, Maxie. I never deserved Lucky. You did.” Elizabeth picked up Maxie’s purse, went to the door, and tossed it into the hall. “Why don’t you go find your next victim?”

“How dare you—”

“You’re getting out and you’re not coming back as long as I live here. Now. Or I’ll call security.”

“Spinelli—” Maxie saw Spinelli’s eyes on the floor, and her cheeks heated. “Fine. Fine. I’m leaving.”

She lifted her chin and stalked out, her indignant exit ruined when she had to stoop to retrieve her clutch and the items that had spilled out of it. Elizabeth slammed the door.

“I’m sorry, Fair Elizabeth,” Spinelli said. “I did not think you’d be back so soon. I wouldn’t—”

“You can have whatever relationship with Maxie you want, Spinelli. But she’s not welcome here as long as my kids are living here. I understand that this is your home—”

“No, it’s good. The Jackal, uh, doesn’t enjoy having to defend the Noble Nurse Nadine all the time. I can’t tell her what happened, but I know it’s not what Maxie thinks. And she’s too mad to think clearly about any of it.” He cleared his throat. “But she won’t darken the door again.”

“Good. And Maxie should just count herself lucky that I left Jake with my grandmother and Bobbie for a few hours. I don’t want my boys around her.”

“Understood.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Nadine stepped behind the counter, sighing as she flipped through a copy of the new schedule. “Is there any chance we’ll ever be fully staffed again?”

“Not under this board,” Epiphany muttered. She glanced over at her. “Why? You got a complaint?”

“No. No. I just…I wish I’d stayed in peds, but I heard those nurses are floating now, too.” She folded the schedule and put it behind the counter. “Is anyone actually getting to stay where they’re trained?”

“We’d need to hire at least twenty more bodies, and unless there’s a miracle, that’s not gonna happen. You’re floating on the general wards this shift. Where else?”

“ICU tomorrow, then down to the ER, and then finishing it off in post-op.” Nadine wrinkled her nose. “Just wish there was more consistency.”

“There should be—” Epiphany held out her hand for Nadine’s schedule. “You’re only supposed to be in one department every rotation. I’ll talk to your charge nurse—”

“No, no, don’t do that. I don’t want to cause any trouble—” Nadine bit her lip as Leyla passed by her, then whispered something to Regina Thompson, another nurse. “Not any more trouble anyway.”

Epiphany’s eyes followed the nurses, then she focused on Nadine. “You still getting the cold shoulder because of the, uh, marriage?”

“I guess Lulu Spencer had more friends in the hospital than I thought.” Nadine picked up a pen, started to flip through a chart. “Leyla thinks I’m the worst person alive and is telling anyone she can find—”

“As if Leyla Mir didn’t snatch up Patrick Drake the second he was available,” Epiphany muttered. Nadine widened her eyes — it was very uncharacteristic of Epiphany to even admit she knew about any gossip, much less repeat it. “Don’t look at me like that, I don’t like mean girls. And that one? No other word.”

“Well, I guess from her perspective—”

“Does her perspective matter so much?” Epiphany asked. “Did you have a good reason for marrying Johnny Zacchara?”

Did she? It had felt that way at the time, but now a month later, Nadine wasn’t sure of anything. “I thought so.”

Epiphany waited another beat, but Nadine said nothing. “I don’t know what you were thinking, only you do. Live your life, make your mistakes, and remember that you don’t answer to anyone but yourself at the end of the day. As long as you can look at yourself in the mirror, you got nothing else to worry about.”

The nurse left the hub, and Nadine watched her go, then sighed. She didn’t know if she could do that either.

Eli’s: Restaurant

 Johnny tapped his fingers on the counter, watching the line cooks behind the counter pulling another rack of meat from the smoker in the back. His attention was pulled when Maxie strode through the entrance, her head down, her fingers flying across the keys of a phone.

Damn. Why was he always running into her in restaurants? Kelly’s was bad enough, Johnny didn’t want to think about what damage Maxie could do in a barbecue joint.

Her head rose up and their eyes met. She narrowed hers. “You really got some nerve, don’t you? What, are you stalking me?”

“I was here first—but—” Johnny accepted the brown bag the employee handed him, then shook it lightly in her face. “I’m leaving, so don’t throw any chicken wings at me.” At least Nadine wasn’t here, he thought, striding past the acerbic blonde and out the door, at first congratulating himself on avoiding confrontation.

Then he winced, remembering the pain on her face, the way she’d talked about the humiliation, begging him to give a damn about what mattered to her. He turned back towards the front door.

“What, did you find someone else to marry on your way to the car? Need a witness?” Maxie asked nastily, shoving the phone into her purse, turning away from the front counter. “I hope you got a prenup because that gold digger—”

“This has to stop—”

“What? You don’t like hearing the truth about your precious goody two shoes? She’s got all you snowed,” Maxie muttered. She snatched her order out of the employee’s hand, tossed down the twenty and walked past him.

Johnny grimaced, then reluctantly decided to follow her. It was time to settle this, once and for all.

Morgan Penthouse: Kitchen

“Where nuggets?” Jake demanded when his mother set his dinner down — a hamburger cut into smaller bites along with mac and cheese as a side. He frowned. “Nuggets.”

“Hamburger,” Elizabeth said. “Nuggets tomorrow.” She sat next to him, ready to cover his dinner plate with her hand the moment he attempted to launch any piece of it. She looked across the table at her grandmother, fixing her own hamburger. “I wish you’d consider staying a few more days, Gram.”

“Oh, we’re bursting at the seams here,” Audrey said, steadying Cameron reaching for his sippy cup filled with juice. “I’ve done my job, and you’ve recovered quite nicely if I say so myself,” she said.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want,” Jason told her, and she smiled at him—something Elizabeth never could have imagined only a few weeks ago, but her grandmother and Jason had clearly developed a new respect for one another. “It’s no trouble—”

“I’ve loved spending extra time with my babies…” Audrey smoothed Cameron’s curls back and he grinned at her. “They grow up so fast, and before you know it—” She looked over at Spinelli who was cleaning up orange soda that had sloshed out of his glass. “Well, before you know it, they’re off having their own adventures. But I do miss my quiet house. And you and Jason should have some time on your own without your grandmother hanging around.”

Elizabeth sighed. “I guess it’s selfish to ask you to keep giving up your life. I just…I’ve been a little spoiled with all the people I love under one roof.”

“And I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. It’s been a blessing, but you’re going to be back at work, and Jake will have a wonderful time spending the day with his father. I think it’s time we all got back to, well, what passes for normal in Port Charles. As long as we can. But I’m just a phone call away if you need me.”

Eli’s: Parking Lot

“Stay away from me, or you’ll get the pepper spray,” Maxie threatened, digging through the purse looped over the arm holding the paper bag.

“Relax, pain in the ass, I just want to talk. This has to stop,” Johnny repeated. “You get to be angry at me, but the digs at Nadine have to stop—”

“Really? Really? I have to stop being angry at the woman who pretended to give a damn about Lulu just to get close to you?” Maxie raged. “I bet she couldn’t wait to tell you every day! Reading magazines to her, washing her face—” She stopped, her voice choked. She pressed a fist to her mouth, turned away.

Johnny cleared his throat. “I—she never told me—I didn’t know that.”

“What? Don’t be stupid! Why would she do all of that if—” Maxie looked at him, her voice shaking. “She dropped Nikolas like a hot potato when he wouldn’t take her to California, but she knew you were lonely—”

“Maxie. Come on. Come on. You’re smarter than that.” Johnny took a step closer to her, and she closed her eyes. “I know you’ve heard the rumors. Mac’s your stepfather.”

Maxie’s lips trembled, so she bit down on them, folding her arms, the paper bag crinkling. “So? That doesn’t explain why she was with you on the pier or why she agreed to protect you. She barely knows you. She wanted your money, and saw her chance, so she made sure to impress you by taking care of Lulu—”

“She never told me a single word of that, Maxie. Never. And look, get mad at me, okay?” He pressed a hand to his chest. “I’m the one who put Lu in that situation, brought her to that wedding. Waited too long to get her help. I did all of it wrong. But Nadine did nothing but be a good person. At every step. You’re telling me she sat with Lulu, took time so Lu wasn’t alone. She also found time to sit with you, didn’t she? And do you know what she was doing with me that day?”

“I bet I do—”

“Defending me to Nikolas, angry that I was being cut out of Lulu’s treatment. Helping me think about what to say to Elizabeth Webber so that she’d talk to Nikolas for me. She’s protecting me, Maxie, because she thought it was the right thing to do. She’s a good person who doesn’t deserve the shit you’re giving her. Whatever they’re saying in the hospital, you don’t know her. None of you do. You’d never say any of this if you did.”

Maxie looked away, tears staining her cheeks. “It’s not fair. None of this is—if Lu were here, none of this would be happening, and maybe I hate her because she’s not here. And you know, this is my fault, okay.  Lulu was just trying to save me, and now she’s gone, and Spinelli hates me, too, for all of this, and Elizabeth that bitch kicked me out of the penthouse, and it’s just not fair!”

The words came out as a rushing tumble, so rapidly that Johnny couldn’t follow most of it. “Maxie—”

“Don’t. Don’t. I’m already humiliated enough.” She closed her eyes, took a deep breath. “Fine. Fine. You want peace, you’ve got it. We’ll just ignore each other. And when Lulu comes home, I’ll help her kick your ass.”

“I look forward to that. I mean it, Maxie. Thank you.”

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Elizabeth switched off the bathroom light, made a face. “I feel guilty.”

Jason picked up the white baby monitor on the nightstand, checked the volume. “For what? Leaving your grandmother with the boys while we took the bike out again? She didn’t seem to mind.”

“No, not about that.” She shook her head. “Did Spinelli say anything about today?”

“No.” Jason frowned, sat on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”

Elizabeth sat next to him, wrinkled her nose. “Gram and I went out for a little while with Jake, and then I came back early. Maxie was here.”

“I’m sorry. I should have told him—”

“I know they’re friends. I don’t understand why—she was always so terrible to him, but I guess after Georgie—” Elizabeth sighed. “I was going to be okay with that, you know. I really was. But I walked in on her raging about Nadine, insulting her—saying all the things I know she’s said about me—I lost it on her. I kicked her out, and I told Spinelli she can’t come back.”

“Spinelli knows Maxie’s an acquired taste,” Jason said. He covered her knee, his thumb stroking the skin left bare by the long sleep shirt she wore. “And this is your home. I want you to feel comfortable here—”

“But it was Spinelli’s first,” Elizabeth said. “And I don’t want him to feel like he can’t have the people he cares about—”

“It’s just temporary, right?” Jason reminded her. “You want us to move back to your place. I figure Spinelli will stay here, and he can have Maxie over whenever he wants.”

“But—”

“What happened to Georgie, he took it hard. He was the one to find her. Being there for Maxie, it helped him deal with all of that.”

“Which is why I should suck it up and—” She bit her lip. “It’s not about Lucky. It’s not that she had an affair with my husband. I don’t even care about that anymore. I really don’t—” she repeated when he just looked at her. “I—”

“You were faithful to Lucky until that night here in the penthouse,” Jason reminded her, and she sighed. “Worried about him, thinking about him. And he was having an affair with Maxie, telling her that you’d cheated first. A rumor she had no problem spreading far and wide. And then when you were sacrificing your time with Cameron to help Lucky, he continued to sleep with her, and she kept giving him pills. Not being in love with him anymore doesn’t change what happened. Or Maxie’s role in it.”

“No, I know that.” She rested her chin on his shoulder. “I just don’t like her very much and knowing that she’s taking that same terrible attitude and turning it on Nadine — it made me so angry.”

Jason kissed her forehead. “It’s okay. If Spinelli has a problem with it, I’ll handle it.”

She sighed. “Okay.”

“Are we done talking about Maxie now? Forever? Because that would be great.” Jason drew her palm to his lips.

“Oh, most definitely,” Elizabeth promised. She crawled into his lap, straddling him, and cupping his face with her hands. “I can think of much better things to talk about.”

I’m holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground
And I’m hearing what you say, but I just can’t make a sound
You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you’re sorry, didn’t think I’d turn around, and say (that)
It’s too late to apologize (it’s too late)
I said, It’s too late to apologize (it’s too late)
– Apologize, OneRepublic

---

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Crimson: Lobby

Kate stepped off the elevator, hesitating when she spied Carly standing near Lulu’s empty desk. The other woman was looking at a photo Lulu had left there — Lulu with her mother. “Carly?”

“Kate. Hey.” Carly set the photo down, slid her fingers over the desk. “You still…you didn’t pack up her things?”

“No. I suppose I still…” Kate slid her sunglasses into the case in her hand. “I want it to be here when she comes home. I don’t want her to think any of us gave up hope. Have you heard something?”

“No. No, unless something has changed since my mother spoke to Lucky last week.” Carly looked at her. “I didn’t come about Lulu, but I—I’m glad her things are here. That she has a place to come back to. She’ll get better. She has to. She’s too young, too strong.” She took a deep breath. “I’m here about Sonny.”

Kate carefully set her purse on Maxie’s desk, folded her arms to hide how her hands were shaking. “About Sonny.”

“I know we don’t…that we didn’t always get along. And most of it’s my fault.” Carly closed her eyes. “It usually is. And I should have…I don’t know…kept you in the loop better on his care the last month. But I know you were in recovery, and maybe I was just in denial. Hoping for a miracle.”

“He came to the hospital to see me that last day.” Kate’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “Olivia turned him away. It keeps me up at night, Carly, wondering what if he’d made it upstairs. Maybe I could have…maybe it would all be different.”

“I—” Carly looked down at her hands, twisted the ring on her finger. “I know. Jax—he told me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry—He did this because of me—”

“He did it because he could,” Kate interrupted, and Carly looked up.  “You and Sonny did what you did, and Jax had every right to handle his relationship with you how he saw fit. But I also had that right, and Jax knew what I had chosen. He ignored my wishes. I’ll never be able to forgive him for that.” She took a deep breath, then flicked away the tear that had slid past her lashes. “I don’t imagine you’re here to commiserate about Jax. Has—” She pressed her fist just above her belly, seeming to brace herself. “Has Sonny’s prognosis changed?”

“No. No. He’s still in the same stable, but…comatose condition. The hospital is asking me about long-term care. They could keep supporting him there. He wouldn’t even be their only long-term patient,” she added. “But they’re not really equipped for the round of clock care he’d need, and he should have the best. If there’s ever going to be any hope—anyway.” Carly cleared her throat. “I talked to Jason, and we—I thought Silver Water was the best plan. He’d be with Michael.”

“Sonny spoke highly of the place when he told me about it. Of course he never thought—” Kate’s voice faltered, and she paused, gathered herself. “Thank you. For telling me.”

“I’ll let you know when the arrangements have been made. If you—I mean, you can—not that I’m giving you permission. We both know that it should be you making these arrangements. I mean, it’s supposed to be Jason, but I just—I’ll tell you when.”

“I appreciate that, Carly. Really. None of this has been easy. The last six months, since that terrible day, maybe even before that—I think we’ve all done the best we could have.”

“Maybe. I hope so. I want that to be the truth. Um, Morgan. He asks about you sometimes. He doesn’t really understand where everyone’s gone. Emily. His brother. His father.” Carly looked away, barely managed to force out the next word. “Jax.”

“Carly—”

“He’s lost so many people. If you ever—I don’t know. I just thought you should know. You mattered to Morgan. To Michael. To Sonny. He really loved you. I’m sorry that I—I’m sorry that anything I did—that it made anything harder.”

“It’s all right, Carly—”

“It’s not but thank you for saying otherwise.”

They both looked towards the elevator when the doors slid open and Jax stepped out. He looked back and forth between the two women. “Ah, Carly. I wasn’t expecting you here—”

“I hope you weren’t looking for me,” Kate said, lifting her chin. “I said all I wanted in the hospital.”

“Kate—” But by the time Jax reached her, she’d gone into her office closing the door in his face.

He grimaced, looked back to find Carly watching him. “I suppose that makes you happy.”

Carly pressed her lips together, looked towards the elevator, then back at him. “Kate wasn’t thrilled about you keeping Sonny away from her. Good for her.”

“I had every right—”

“Do you think it makes it any better that you were right about Sonny?” Carly demanded. “That being around him, letting him in our lives in any way was only going to make things worse? Do you think that makes what you did okay?”

“I just—”

Carly headed for the elevators. “Brenda chose Sonny a lifetime ago, and you’ve never forgiven the rest of the female species for it—”

“You slept with him five months ago!” Jax reminded her, a flush rising in his cheeks. “You want to blame Brenda for all of this—”

“No. I just—” The righteousness faded from her expression, and her voice. She lifted her hand to her temple, rubbing. “I don’t. I don’t want to argue with you, Jax. I did a horrible thing. And you took that anger and used it to punish Kate for not listening to you, too. You got what you wanted, Jax. A world without Sonny. I hope it was worth it. I hope blaming me for Michael, for the miscarriage—”

Jolted, Jax’s eyes widened. “I don’t blame you for that—”

“Don’t you?” She stepped onto the car, and the doors closed on his distraught face.

Nadine’s Apartment: Kitchen

Not long after the shower had switched off, Nadine emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her torso, the ends tucked in at her breasts. She had her head to the side, towel drying her damp hair, and nearly missed Johnny standing right in front of her, a mug of coffee extended towards her.

“You’re—” She flicked cautious eyes at him. She tossed the hair towel in the hamper still visible through the open bathroom door, then reached for the coffee mug. “Up early.”

“I wanted to catch you before you left for work.” Johnny stepped back, grimacing when she edged away, backing towards the bedroom door. “And it’s almost ten—”

“Early for you,” she said, bringing the coffee to her lips. “Is everything okay—”

“I talked to Maxie. She’s going to leave us alone.”

Nadine furrowed her brow. “What?”

“Last night. I ran into her at Eli’s, and I thought about what you said. About not wanting to have issues with her because she’s—” He scratched the back of his neck, uncomfortable. “She’s not entirely wrong.”

Nadine’s lips parted, and she set the coffee on the counter, tugging the towel closer to her body. “I didn’t—I wasn’t expecting—”

“You made some good points the other day.” He leaned back against the counter, crossing his feet at the ankles, his arms folded, and his eyes trained on the floor. “And maybe I don’t think enough about what you’re dealing with at work. You don’t say much, and I thought maybe it was getting better.”

“It’s not your problem—”

He lifted his eyes to find her looking at him, red staining her cheeks. “It’s my problem because we’re supposed to be in this together. And maybe we’re not doing enough to think about next week. Or next month. You’re right. We don’t exactly have an exit strategy.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it, biting down. “Is that what you want to do? Come up with an exit plan? I don’t blame you. The PCPD hasn’t done much since they arrested you, so you’re good there, and your dad’s been quiet—”

“I was thinking maybe we don’t worry so much about the exit part of this.”

Nadine broke off her ramble, blinked at him. “What does that mean?”

“You said this is as complicated as we want it to be. I didn’t know what to say to you,” Johnny admitted. “Mostly because I didn’t think about it that way. We kind of got most of the bad stuff out of the way right away. My dad, the PCPD, Jason—and the last few weeks, it’s just been—” He made a face. “I don’t know. Whatever passes for normal. I was thinking about getting a job or finding something to do all day when you’re at work. Or something. But I wasn’t thinking about what happens when this is over. But if you need to have that in your head—”

“Just—just wait—” Nadine held up a hand and he closed his mouth. “I don’t understand what we’re doing here. I haven’t really understood any of this since that morning in Vegas when I lost my damn mind, or—”

“Any of the nights since?” Johnny prompted, straightening, the corners of his mouth twitching. “I could explain it, but you’d just get mad at me again—”

“It’s all just this giant mess, Johnny. And—” When her voice faltered, the humor he’d feeling faded. She sighed. “I don’t know how to fix it without screwing up my life even worse. I still—no, I know we made the right choice. To do whatever we could to stop the violence. I—” She met his eyes. “I went to see Jason. The morning you got arrested, and I looked at him, and I thought he’s helping us even though Sonny’s supposed to be his best friend. Because Jason knows you didn’t want to hurt anyone, and he just wants to keep his family safe. I realized I could help. That keeping you out of jail might keep your dad from going crazy again—I’ve never regretted that I decided to help you. To keep what I saw that day to myself.”

“Oh.” Johnny cleared his throat. “Oh. Well, that’s good—”

“It’s just hard because doing the right thing meant taking a jackhammer to everything else I’d built,” Nadine continued, and he grimaced again. “You know, Lu and Maxie and Spinelli — I liked them. And Regina and Leyla were my friends at work. And you were just someone I knew because of other people. And now none of that’s true anymore. I go to work, and Leyla thinks I’m gold-digging white trash, and it shouldn’t hurt because it’s not true, but it does. And Maxie thinks I’m a home wrecking slut—”

“She’s angry at the situation, and lashing out—”

“Johnny. We’re right back where we started. Because what are we doing?” she asked again. “We slept together. Repeatedly. And I think maybe you’re trying to fix things because you want things to go back to how they were a few days ago.”

Johnny rubbed his chest, made a face. “And that’s a bad thing?”

“No. Yes. No.” She closed her eyes, the damp strands of her hair falling around her face. She gripped the ends of the towel more tightly. “I’m just tired of starting over. I came here because Aunt Rayleen was gone, and I needed something different. I thought I’d try to do some good, balance the scales here. But all I’ve done since I got here is make everything worse.”

“That is not true.” Johnny came forward, shaking his head. He laid his hands on her shoulders, stroking down to her elbow, then back up again. “It’s not. And no one thinks that. No one who matters anyway. Spinelli doesn’t. Nikolas is alive because you nagged him into getting treated. I’m not in jail because of you. I’m a pretty big fan of that part. And—” He curled a finger beneath her chin, lifted it so that their eyes met. “It’s not a crime to like each other, Nadine. We’re not hurting anyone.”

“Lulu—”

He shook his head. “She’s not part of this. She can’t be. If that day on the pier didn’t happen, maybe things would be different. Maybe I’d still be trying to get through to Nikolas, I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it—I don’t. But I understand if she’s the reason you don’t want to keep things the way they were going. I can respect that.” He stepped back.

“It really should bother me,” she said, then dragged a hand down her face. “It should. But you never pretended any differently. I’ve never resented you or her — it’s such an awful situation,” she murmured. “So terrible for her family, for everyone who loves her. And it’s awful, but I have to be practical, Johnny. If she gets better and comes home—how do we explain this? And where exactly does that leave me?”

“If—if she gets better,” Johnny said, “it really wouldn’t change anything. Because I don’t get to change my last name. I don’t get to stop carrying around the baggage that is my family. Dad, Trevor, Claudia—they’re not going anywhere.” He waited a beat. “I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep, Nadine. It wouldn’t be fair to you. So like I said, if you need us to take a permanent step back, then we can do that. The sofa’s not too bad—”

“I just wish I knew what you were asking me. I wish you knew. Because if it’s just sex—”

“It’s not,” Johnny said immediately, and she just wrinkled her nose. “And if it was just that, I’d be laying it on a lot thicker to get back in that room. I could do that.”

Nadine rolled her eyes. “Oh, sure. Okay, Casanova.” She started past him, towards the bedroom, but he got there first, blocking her. When she scowled, he reached for the edge of her towel, tugging her gently so that their chests brushed.

“You’ve been standing here in your towel for almost twenty minutes, water sliding down—” Johnny followed the trail of one of those droplets, sliding his finger from the curve of her jaw down her collarbone, to the top of her breasts. “If it were just about sex, Nadine,” he murmured, his breath hot against her neck as he dipped his head down. “You and I both know that towel would be long gone.”

“It’s a little bit about sex, or you wouldn’t be doing this little demonstration right now,” Nadine said, pushing lightly on his chest so that he’d give her some breathing room. But she looked up and their eyes met again. She licked her lips. “And you being good in bed doesn’t even factor into this. We don’t need to keep complicating this situation.”

“You’re right. So—” Johnny reached down, found the knob and twisted it, so that the door opened at his back. He moved to the side. “Like I said, I’m not looking to talk you into something you don’t want.”

“You’re not talking me into anything.”

“Nope. I made my case, and the ball’s in your court.”

“Good. So that we understand each other.” Nadine stopped at the threshold, leaning against the opposite door jamb, her fingers still holding onto the towel. “Because I don’t want you to take credit for this.”

Johnny frowned. “Credit for—” But then she dropped the towel, fisted her hands in his shirt and pulled him into the room. “Oh, so we’re done talking?”

“We’re done talking.”

PCPD: Commissioner’s Office

Anna gripped the back of the visitor’s chair. “There’s something going on at the hospital, I’m convinced of it.”

Mac rifled through a filing cabinet, only half listening to his former sister-in-law. “I know Patrick’s had a lot of mess to clean up since the last chief of staff died.”

“And legal issues from a killer nurse,” Anna added. “All of that is interesting, but I’m talking about Jason Morgan.”

Mac frowned, looked at Anna with more interest. “Jason’s only connection these days is Elizabeth, and I don’t even think she’s back at work yet—”

“What about this accident after the wedding? You told me that Morgan was up to something on the day of Sonny’s shooting. That he was unavailable. I had a source get me Elizabeth’s records—”

Mac slammed the drawer shut, grim now. “I’m not listening to anything the WSB got from GH illegally, Anna, I’ve told you that.”

“But Elizabeth really did suffer a nearly fatal consequence that morning,” Anna insisted. “And yet she’s discharged the same day? You must know that doesn’t add up—”

“No, of course not.” Mac dropped a file on his desk. “But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Jason was moving everyone into the Towers, and he’s got the connections to get pretty much anything he needs to handle Elizabeth’s care. Audrey Hardy moved in, Anna. Do you really think Audrey of all people would be involved with anything that would put her family at risk?”

“No, I must admit Audrey’s blessing has stumped me,” Anna said. She made a face, considering her thoughts. “I’ve told you that Karpov is in pharmaceuticals — he gets contracts with hospital in port cities to facilitate his smuggling. We had no notion he was in Port Charles until the DEA seized his cargo ship. You weren’t suspicious when that happened on the heels of all these shootings?”

Mac dragged a hand down his face. “No, because I’m an idiot, Anna, who can’t tie his own shoelaces.”

“I didn’t—”

“Anyone with two brain cells can see what happened. Karpov goes after Sonny, gets Kate instead. Sonny blames Johnny Zacchara immediately, which we know since Sonny got arrested that day going after the kid at the hospital. Jason leaves Sonny in lock up overnight so he’ll cool down and so Jason can concentrate on an unrelated accident that put Elizabeth in surgery—”

“Are you sure it’s unrelated?”

“Yes,” Mac retorted. “Elizabeth’s ex took off the same day, dumping her two kids on Audrey. Jason moved everyone into the Towers, Elizabeth had her complication, and as soon as she could travel she was discharged from GH. And I’m willing to bet that there’s an AMA form in her file, isn’t there?”

Anna pressed her lips together. “Yes,” she said tightly. “She was discharged against medical advice. But surely that was to cover Patrick and the hospital for liability. I’m telling you, Mac, something is terribly wrong at GH. Elizabeth’s complication does not make sense! Internal bleeding so many days after her accident? She would have bled out. And the toxicology—”

Mac held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear about one more thing you got illegally from the hospital, Anna. You get to color outside the lines, I don’t. Scott tanked that case against Johnny, made everything worse for Maxie, for Lulu and he did that because he blackmailed Floyd into naming him special prosecutor on his own son’s murder. I told you I’d work with you, I’d share information that was legally obtained, but I’m not interested in anything else.”

“Mac—”

“You bring me real evidence that something is going on at the hospital, something illegal, then fine. We can deal with that. But right now, Patrick Drake isn’t just a doctor at the hospital, he’s not just chief of staff. He’s your future son-in-law. Robin is happy, Anna. She thinks you’re here for her.”

Anna scowled. “I am.”

“Then be here for her. Stop digging into her friends, into her family. Robin’s pregnant, not stupid. She’ll figure it out eventually.”

“You act as if I’m undercover with my own daughter. I’ve missed so much time with her, Mac. Is it so wrong that I’ve wanted to learn more about her and the people who matter?” Anna demanded. “It’s just that she’s told me things that concern me. My grandchild will be born in that hospital, Mac. Have you given any consideration to that? If something is wrong—”

“If you’re right, then it sounds like Patrick is aware of it and will take precautions,” Mac said dryly, and Anna glared at him. “You’ve always been good at manipulating people into feeling guilty, Anna. Glad to see you haven’t lost your touch. Now, if you don’t mind, I have real cases to investigate.”

Crimson Offices: Lobby

 Maxie deliberately turned her back on Lulu’s empty desk, forcing a smile on her face when Spinelli stepped off the elevator, his expression hesitant. “You came. Good. I thought maybe you were still mad at me.”

“The Jackal always heeds a summons from Maximista,” Spinelli said, but the words didn’t sound as natural as they used to. Almost rehearsed. Rote.

“I, um, I’m going to do something I never do, okay? So you need to stand there and let me say it, and then we’ll never think of it again.”

Spinelli frowned, and reached up to draw off his beanie cap, holding it in both hands. “Okay, but—”

“I’m sorry. About that scene at your place yesterday. About what I said to Elizabeth. And about Nadine.” Maxie folded her arms. “I, um, I shouldn’t be saying things like that where you live. Jason’s your family, and he picked her, even though I don’t understand it. It’s just—” She stopped, scratched her temple. “I don’t want to keep blaming something else I don’t want to be that girl who uses her dead sister, dead boyfriends, and parental neglect as an excuse. I just—” She looked at him. “I’m sorry. You’ve been too good to me to deserve me putting you in the middle of people you live with. Jason’s your family,” she repeated. “And Elizabeth is part of that package.”

Spinelli squinted, then shook his head slowly. “We can agree not to speak of it again, but it will not change things. You’re not welcome at the penthouse.”

Maxie pressed her lips together, fighting the urge to scream. “Of course she probably couldn’t wait to forbid it—”

“The Fair Elizabeth made the point that it’s her home. But it’s also Little Dude’s abode. And Stone Cold Junior. She’s never been anything but kind to me. And I also—” He stopped. “Forget it. We’ll just leave it where it is—”

“No. No, we’re being honest here. Finish it.” She lifted her chin. “I can take it.”

“The Jackal was not present when Maximista and Detective Dingus—I wasn’t here. So I don’t know what happened. But I know that he was married.” Spinelli’s eyes found hers. “And that you knew that. That there was no affair with Stone Cold. Not until she learned of the betrayal.”

Maxie’s lips trembled. “So you think she’s right. I’m a homewrecking slut—”

“The Jackal would appreciate if Maximista did not put words in his mouth,” Spinelli said. “The characterization is beyond my power to grant. But there are facts, yes? Timelines? You know them now. Even if you didn’t know them then. And perhaps I can’t say for sure, but I suspect the Fair Elizabeth did little to deserve the way you treated her—beyond being married to the man you wanted.”

Maxie closed her eyes. “Spinelli—”

“I know you’re ashamed of the things you did then. You’ve told me so, and I believe you,” Spinelli told her. “I know that it’s easier for you to lash out, to put your anger somewhere so that you can ignore how hurt you are. I know that,” he repeated. “And I can look past it. I can take the time and see who you are underneath. But it’s not a requirement that everyone does the same. So until Fair Elizabeth says differently, you won’t be welcomed back.”

“Fine. Fine. I don’t even want to go there anyway,” she muttered. She sniffed, then went back to her desk. “Well, thank you for coming by. Glad we could get that sorted.”

She wanted him to argue, to apologize for not leaping to her defense, but instead she heard the squeak of his shoes as he headed for the elevators.

He’d left without another word.

Maxie sat at the desk, staring blindly at the photo of herself and Georgie, the last photograph they’d ever taken together the night of the Black & White Ball, then put her head down and wept.

Elm Street Pier

Claudia rolled her eyes and sat next to her brother on the bench. “I don’t know why we couldn’t have met in a more civilized place. What, does little Mary Sunshine not let you have any guests?”

Johnny shook his head. “It’s nothing personal, Claudia. I just—” Didn’t want a single member of his family inside of Nadine’s home. Not when things were going so well. Nadine had left for work after their morning together, and he wasn’t going to tempt fate. He wanted to keep Nadine away from his family. “Maybe next time. But this isn’t a social call. You made that clear on the phone.”

“It’s not exactly business either—all right, fine. Our esteemed father has sent me on a mission to check on you, though I think we both know he doesn’t handle it well when you’re not in his sight. Especially these days.” Claudia looked out over the blue-gray waters of the lake. “I know Daddy hasn’t exactly been the picture of perfect mental health over the years, but we had a good stretch there, didn’t we? You went to college, I was living in Italy. And Trevor wasn’t sitting on the sidelines, licking his chops to get his hands on the power.”

“Yeah. I know. What changed?” Johnny asked. “All I know is I came home from grad school two years ago and he’d just—” He shook his head. “The stroke, you think?”

“Yeah. Maybe. I kept thinking he’d bounce back, you know. Get himself together. But he was always paranoid. Always waiting for someone to go after him. And Trevor fed on that,” Claudia murmured. “I should have come home. Been with him. I was never his favorite, but I could have done more.”

“I tried to get away from him. Disappeared. He went over the edge last year, Claudie, and I don’t think we’re getting him back. Not all the way.”

“Probably not.” Claudia hesitated. “We’d be better off if you ditched the nurse and came home to Crimson Pointe. No one’s investigating this shooting, John. It’s cold. Dead. Not saying you need to file papers, but if you could just come back to the estate, Daddy could relax. And maybe if you were, I don’t know, we could figure out how to get rid of Trev. We could—”

“Live happily ever after? That ship sailed, and you know that. And besides, I’m okay up here—”

“Really?” Claudia asked dubiously. “Up here? In the sticks? What do you even do all day?”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t understand—”

“Ha! I knew it! You’re bored to tears—”

“That’s not what I said, and don’t put words in my mouth. At least here, I’m not looking over my shoulder. Not anymore. I didn’t—” Johnny pressed his lips together. “I didn’t plan it this way, but Jason’s in charge now. And he knows I want out.”

“He knows what happened, doesn’t he? He’s protecting you.”

Johnny tipped his head slightly to confirm it, and Claudia exhaled on a long sigh, looking back towards Spoon Island. “That’s interesting,” she murmured. “He must really want peace. He’s got a nurse of his own, doesn’t he?”

“Claudia—”

“Oh, chill. I’m not looking for intel. Just trying to understand the lay of the land.” She bit her lip. “But he does. The nurse and those kids of hers. That’s why he let you live. He wants them to be safe. Let me tell Dad. If he knew Jason was protecting you—”

“I don’t know if Dad had anything to do with what happened to Kate, so the last thing I want is to tell him anything about Jason. This is separate. A deal I made just with him to keep Nadine safe. You know what Dad would do if he thought there was a real witness against me.”

Claudia wrinkled her nose. “Why do you think we’re involved with that stick’s shooting—”

“I didn’t say you were, I said Dad. I don’t know if you’d go anywhere near all of that,” Johnny said. “After…last spring.” Which was the closest he’d ever come to mentioning Michael Corinthos’s tragic shooting.

She looked away, vaguely uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation. “But you think Dad might.”

“I think Dad likes chaos, and Trevor wouldn’t stop him. If he even knew.”

“Dad shooting Kate Howard just to see what happens.” He could see his sister testing that out in her head, and then she nodded. “Yeah, I buy that. I’ll keep my ears open, but you need to come down once and while to keep Dad happy. Bring the nurse. She amuses him.”

“Yeah, fine. I have to get going. I’ll call you.”

Claudia watched her brother leave, waited until he’d climbed the stairs and had disappeared around the corner. Then she turned around—only to see Jerry Jacks sauntering down a second pair of stairs.

He paused at the bottom, then strolled towards her. “Well, that was quite an interesting conversation—”

“Don’t even bother. I’ve tried to eavesdrop from that exact same spot,” Claudia interrupted. “You can’t hear a damn thing over the water. So instead of pretending to guess what we were talking about, just tell me what you want.”

“Fair enough. I didn’t hear the details, but I imagine you were discussing your brother’s hasty marriage. It doesn’t take a genius to realize he married a witness.” Jerry cocked his head. “Nadine Crowell. She’s that chippy little blonde who made the scene at the trial, wasn’t she? Quite amusing, her dedication to the truth. When I heard she’d married Johnny Zacchara, I thought—” He tapped his chin. “I thought, well, why would a girl like that marry a man who shot someone else in the head? Because she believes in the boy, of course. Self-defense, likely.”

Claudia stifled a yawn. “Are you going to get to the point?”

“How protective would she be of your brother if she knew what kind of family he was in? What kind of secrets he kept?” Jerry leaned in. “I have it on good authority that our nurse counted tragic little Michael Corinthos among her patients. Do you think she’d protect your brother if she even suspected he was protecting that boy’s killer?”

Claudia went very still. “Michael isn’t dead.”

“Do you think the nurse will care?” Jerry just smiled. “I wonder how quickly she’d run to the PCPD to turn him in. Or you.”

Claudia wasn’t pretending to be bored anymore. “What do you want?”

Coffee House: Jason’s Office

Jason reluctantly scrawled his name on the bottom of the page, then slid it over to Diane. “Carly and I haven’t made any decisions about Greystone.”

Diane filed the papers in her briefcase. “You could always move your brood there—it’s merely a suggestion, Jason, you needn’t get that look on your face,” she added with a sniff.

“We’re happy where we are. The Towers have what we need for security in an emergency, and the house is in a good neighborhood. Elizabeth likes the schools—”

“It’s ultimately up to you, of course,” Diane said with a shrug. “You could rent out Greystone, leave it in trust for Morgan and Kristina and let them discuss. That property will only become more valuable.”

“Like I said,” Jason said, getting to his feet. “We haven’t made any decisions.”

The door opened then, and Cody stepped in. “Spinelli’s here if you’re done with Miss Miller. And I’m gonna head over to the warehouse if you need anything.”

“Yeah, sure.” Jason looked at Diane. “Anything else?”

“Nothing you’re interested in.” Diane reached for her jacket. “Always a pleasure. Spinelli,” she greeted with a nod, passing the tech.

“The Jackal hates to interrupt—” Spinelli made a face, fiddled with the strap of the laptop bag laying across his chest. “About the argument yesterday with Fair Elizabeth and Maximista—”

“If you’re coming to plead Maxie’s case, Spinelli, it’s not happening.” Jason crossed the office, picked up his jacket, then turned to face the tech. “Look, the penthouse is your home, too, and Elizabeth didn’t say a word when Maxie came to her party. I don’t know exactly what happened, but—”

“Maximista is unhappy about the Sceptic Son and Noble Nurse Nadine,” Spinelli said in a rush. “She sees it as a betrayal of…” His throat worked hard, and he looked away. “She was venting her displeasure, and the Fair Elizabeth…she took exception. As she should. The Jackal is most uncomfortable by all of it. But—”

“You weren’t around when Elizabeth and Lucky’s marriage fell apart the first time,” Jason said slowly. “You don’t know what happened or how Maxie or everyone around Elizabeth treated her as if it was her fault. The drugs, the affair — they blamed Elizabeth.”

Spinelli pressed his lips together. “I can only imagine how painful that must have been for her,” he said, and Jason frowned. It was uncharacteristic of Spinelli to speak so directly and plainly. “And I’m not here to ask that the ban be lifted. On the contrary — I agree that it would be for the best if Maximista limited her exposure to the Fair Elizabeth. She…she is not handling the Blonde One’s fate very well. The Jackal worries.”

Jason exhaled slowly, then nodded. “I’m sorry Maxie is struggling with what happened to Lulu. It’s not easy for anyone, and I can see how Johnny and Nadine’s marriage would have made that more difficult. I’m glad we’re on the same page. After Elizabeth and I move the boys to the house, you’re welcome to stay in the penthouse and Maxie will have free reign again.”

Spinelli smiled slightly. “The Jackal will miss Little Dude and the Sequel when they go. They have superior taste in cartoons.”

Patrick’s Condo: Living Room

Patrick sifted through another set of minutes from the most recent board meeting, clenching his jaw when he reviewed notes on another budget request for upgrading equipment — denied. Just like the request to budget for more nurses—

He was drowning—the hospital was drowning—and if he didn’t get an infusion of cash soon, he’d find it difficult to recruit another crop of medical students—

“Uh, Patrick?”

“What?” he asked, almost absently, scribbling in the margins of the denial. “Is it time for lunch?”

“No. But it’s time for something else.”

He frowned, looked over to see Robin by the door, the handle of a duffel bag looped over her wrist. Patrick lunged to his feet. “It’s time?”

“It’s time.” She smiled tremulously. “Contractions are—” She winced. “Lasting one minute each, five minutes apart. And I just hit two hours.”

“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded, yanking the bag from her hand and snatching his keys from the table.

“Because you’re insane, so it was easier to wait.” She grimaced, reached for his hand. “But now we’re going to have a baby, so yell at me later.”

Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
– What Hurts The Most, Rascal Flatts

---

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

 Port Charles Airport: Entrance Hall

“It’s about time,” Lucky grumbled when his brother finally joined him and Sam at the baggage claim. “What took so long?”

“I called the nanny in California,” Nikolas said with a roll of his eyes. “And if it bothered you to wait, you should have let me upgrade you to first class.”

“Believe me, I tried to convince him,” Sam muttered, folding her arms. She rolled her neck. “I haven’t flown economy in years.”

Lucky rolled his eyes. “We’re not arguing about this again. If we’d all wanted first class, we’d have to wait for another flight. I’ve already waited long enough to come back.”

“Easy for you to say, you had the aisle seat.” Sam rubbed her shoulder. “Are we getting a cab or—”

“I called a service,” Nikolas murmured, scanning the small group of drivers with placards in their hands. “There,” he said, nodding towards one with his last name scrawled in heavy black marker. “There’s the car.”

“Great.” Lucky lifted his duffel bag, slid the strap over his shoulder, then reached for Sam’s bag. “Did you call ahead, reserve rooms at the hotel? Or did you change your mind about opening up Wyndemere?”

“I decided not to make a reservation.” Nikolas took a deep breath. “I thought you’d be better off with the element of surprise.”

“He means if Nikolas made a reservation for two rooms, Carly would tell Jason in about ten seconds,” Sam offered with a smirk. “She can’t stay out of his business even if her life depended on it. And Jason would warn Liz, and they’d lawyer up—”

Lucky grimaced. “Yeah, okay, you’re right. Element of surprise is best. You’ll head over to Shadybrooke?” he asked Nikolas. “Start Mom’s paperwork?”

“Yeah. After you make contact with Elizabeth, I’ll call Bobbie. Are you starting with her or—”

“No. I’m gonna need a little backup, and I don’t think Aunt Bobbie is going to be interested in taking my side.” Lucky paused. “But I know exactly who I can count on.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Maxie snatched up the paper bag with the lunch she’d ordered and whirled around, prepared to dash back out and hurry back to the office.

Instead she ran into a solid mass—”Oof! Watch where you’re—” She blinked, looking up at the familiar face. “Oh. Nikolas. Where did you come from?”

Nikolas stepped back. “The airport. Where are you going in such a hurry?”

“Back to work—oh, but if you’re home, you must have—” Maxie faltered when she saw Nikolas look away. “Oh. Right. You…you said you’d be back in a few weeks for your mother. That’s why you’re here.”

“Among other things. A few loose threads to tie up.” Nikolas gestured to a table. “And since I ran into you, do you have a minute?”

“Kate will understand when I tell her I ran into you.” Maxie dropped into a chair. “How’s Lulu? Has there been any improvement?”

“No. The doctors—they’re considering the protocol Robin gave my mother a few years ago, hoping that it might have better results since the condition is newer but I don’t know—I don’t know if I can even have her back temporarily if it means I have to watch her slip away again.”

Maxie swallowed her protest. She didn’t understand that. How could you not want one more minute with your sister? How could you not do anything you could to bring her back, even just to say goodbye—

She plastered a smile on her face. “We’re saving a space for her. Her desk is there, and the job. Everything is just as she left it at Crimson, waiting for her to come back with terrible fashion sense. She’ll get better, Nikolas. She has to.”

“It’s hard to keep the hope alive,” Nikolas admitted, “but I appreciate everything you’re doing here. It’s just—well, I’m not entirely uninformed as to what’s been happening here in Port Charles. We’ve had some news from Bobbie, from Alexis. But I’m sure you’ll have your own perspective on what I’ve been told.”

Maxie bit her lip, picked at her cuticle. “What’s the subject? I’ve been at the penthouse, so I know Elizabeth and the kids are living there now like a happy family so if Lucky’s home for custody, he’ll have an uphill battle.”

“That’s—that’s one aspect of what I wanted to know. What he’ll want to know. But the other?” Nikolas leaned forward. “Nadine and Johnny. What do you know?”

Maxie opened her mouth, thought of that conversation with Johnny, her promise, and then thought of Lulu, sitting in a room, trapped in her mind, waiting to return to a world that had moved on without her.

A world that hadn’t waited more than a handful of days.

“Oh, I know plenty. How much time do you have?”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

Johnny pulled the door open, then scowled when he saw Claudia on the other side. “Oh, come on. I just told you—”

“The nurse is at work, right? You’re sure—”

“She has a name, and yes—” Johnny made a face when his sister walked right past him. “You’re not staying—”

“Just—” Claudia put up a hand. “Just give me—” She frowned, her dark eyes sweeping over the small space, then swung around to face him. “This is where you live? Really?”

“I’m not in the mood for this, Claudie—” He closed the door. “If you came to insult me or Nadine—”

“No. Not at all. Just—you get money from the trust every month. You can afford better—” Claudia narrowed her eyes. “She’s really not into the money? Not even a little bit?”

“I know that’s weird for you. But she’s not interested in anything she didn’t earn.” He went to the fridge and pulled out water. “You’ve got three minutes—”

“No.” Claudia pursed her lips, began to recalculate her opinion of the nurse. She had to play this just right, get Johnny on her side. To see that her side was his side. Jerry was right. The nurse was the key. “It was your idea to do this, wasn’t it? To get married. Not hers.”

Johnny twisted off the cap, took a long sip. Said nothing. She nodded, then wandered over to a metal shelving unit next to the television. It was packed with books, CDs, and other pieces of clutter. “You had to convince her, didn’t you? You suggested it, and she didn’t agree right away.”

He made a face, and she knew she was right. “What’s your point?” he wanted to know. “Did you come here to make fun of me?”

“No. No. Listen. When you told me you’d married Nadine Crowell, the mouthy blonde who’d been put in jail for contempt at your trial, I was worried. She seemed like the kind of white knight who believed in honor and doing right. So I figured you’d paid her off or something. Maybe promised to fund one of her causes. Or set her up in luxury if she kept her mouth shut. But you’re living in a place the size of a cardboard box, and she’s still working the same twelve hour shifts—”

“How do you know that?” Johnny demanded. “Are you having her watched?”

“Come on, John. You think Dad didn’t put a tail on you? On her?” Claudia slid her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket, tipped her head. “He knows everything. He knows Nadine goes to work in the same way she did before that day. That you guys go out and do things together. But what he will never understand is why you married her. She’s a witness. You pay them off, you make them disappear. But you don’t marry them.”

“Nadine wouldn’t—”

“She wouldn’t take the money, and you’re too soft for the other option.” She nodded. “So there’s a third reason. And that’s because you like her. You’re protecting her. Making sure Dad sees her as a team player. I just don’t understand why she’s protecting you. What is she getting out of this?”

“You don’t need to understand why. All you need to know is Nadine is off limits. End of story.”

“You know better, John. You need to make sure you know exactly what Nadine wants from you, because the second you can’t deliver, she’ll turn on you—”

“She won’t. She’s not like that,” Johnny snapped, and Claudia took a deep breath, looked away.

“I wish I could believe. I wish you could believe that, but it’s not a risk either of us can take. Not anymore.”

Johnny went still. “What are you talking about?”

General Hospital: Maternity Ward

Patrick paced nervously in front of the nurse’s station, glancing down the hall and then at the elevator every few minutes. In a room ten feet away, Robin was preparing to deliver their child inside a hospital that he realized he didn’t trust even a little bit.

It had been weeks since Elizabeth’s overdose, and she’d been the only confirmed case of sabotage, but Patrick couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d missed something. That Spinelli’s efforts wouldn’t protect them forever and they hadn’t done enough to find the culprits. Now, his world was centered on just two people — Robin and their daughter.

And Patrick knew he couldn’t put his faith in the system that he trusted for every other patient that walked through the door.

The elevator doors slid open, and Nadine stepped out, winding her stethoscope around her neck. “Patrick, hey, Epiphany said you needed me.” Her blue eyes swept the area before focusing on him. “I’m supposed to be in the ER today—”

“I reassigned you. You are the only nurse that I’m putting on Robin’s case.” He took her by the arm, steered her towards the room where Mac and Anna were already by Robin’s side. “Any medicine? You’re administering it. You’re double checking the epidural—”

“Whoa, Patrick—” Nadine stopped him before they went in. “That’s Andy’s job—”

“But you’ll be getting the meds from the dispensary.” His fingers gripped her upper arm. “You’ll double check and test them. Triple check them. Nothing goes in Robin or my child without you.”

Nadine searched his expression. “What’s going on?” she asked softly. “You’re terrified, and not just because you’re about to be a father. I thought you said they’d handled the problems with the machines—”

“We did, but—” Patrick stopped as Anna approached, forcing himself to smile. “Anna, you know Nadine.”

“I do.” Anna tipped her head. “Is everything all right? You look upset.”

“I’m—” He dragged a hand through his already disheveled dark hair. “I’m fine. I just, you know, jitters. We’ve been prepping for this day for months and now it’s here and there’s nothing I can do now.”

Anna squinted slightly, but then relaxed. “Well, I’d better step aside and let Nadine do her job.”

“I’ll give Robin a quick look over, and then page Andy to make sure he’s ready.” Nadine squeezed Patrick’s arm. “You can count on me, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Nadine slid past them both and went to Robin, a bright smile on her face. Anna turned back to Patrick. “Please don’t think you’ve fooled me, Patrick. Something is going on.”

“Nerves—”

“My daughter is the most precious person in the world to me, and she’s carrying my grandchild. Your child. I know you would do nothing to put her safety at risk. But if there’s something I should know, some way I can help—”

“There’s not.” Patrick took a deep breath. “We’d better get back inside.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

Johnny stared at her, his blood running cold. “What the hell are you talking about? What’s Dad planning?”

“Nothing—”

“Claudia—” He came forward, grabbed her elbow. “Damn it, tell me what he wants with Nadine!”

“Nothing! I swear! This isn’t like Lulu. Nadine’s not a wild card or an idiot. Dad would never admit it, but Nadine’s proved that she’s on your side. Getting arrested for contempt at the trial, sticking by you the last few weeks and not crumbling, and most of all, how she handled him the day you guys came up. He respects her—”

“The hell he does. What the hell is Dad planning?” Johnny demanded.

“It’s not him! He doesn’t like you being far away, but he knows you’re safe.” She licked her lips. “He’s not the problem. Do you think I’d be this worried if he was?”

Christ, no. She wasn’t just worried, she was terrified. “Hey. Hey. Claudia, whatever it is—” He started towards her.

“We’ll fix it?” she finished for him. “No. No one can come after either of us without pissing off our dear father. You’re the son, the cherished heir, and well, even if he can’t stand me, he wouldn’t be able to tolerate the disrespect. I told you, you’ve got nothing to worry about from Dad. Not this time.”

“Then what is it?”

Claudia looked away, grimaced. “Listen. You need to go to Jason. Tell him you want to work for him—”

“I don’t—”

“You do if you want to keep you and that nurse safe,” she cut in sharply, and he closed his mouth. “You go to work for Jason, and you wait for further orders.”

“Claudia, damn it, there’s no way in hell I’m doing that.” Johnny released her with disgust crawling at his throat. “I’m not turning against Jason. Not after everything he’s done for me. Whatever you’re involved in, you need to do it without me.”

“Do you think I want it this way? If I could get in with Jason myself, I’d do it, okay? But I can’t even seduce him.” She rolled her eyes, some of the fear in her eyes giving way to irritation. “He’s too hung up on his own nurse. What is it with you idiots and the health care profession—”

“Claudia.”

She made a face. “Look, if you’re not going to help me, then what happens next is on you.”

“What does that mean?” Johnny demanded. “What’s going to happen next? You said it yourself. No one’s coming after you or me—”

“Your protection doesn’t include Miss Mary Sunshine,” Claudia said and Johnny went still.  “They can use her. And they will. If you don’t go to work for Jason, Nadine’s the one on the chopping block.”

“Damn it, Claudia! Tell me what’s going on! Tell me what they have that has you so scared—”

“You know. You’ve always known it, deep down.” She looked at him for a long moment, waited for the truth to bloom in his expression. She saw it in the twitch of a muscle in his cheek, the way his fists clenched at his side. “I made a mistake. And if Dad finds out, I’ll be expendable. You know that. So I need to make sure no one ever finds out. Including Nadine. If she knew Johnny, would she protect me? Protect you?”

“No,” he managed. He looked away, swallowed hard. “No, she wouldn’t.” He dipped his head. “I’m not doing it, Claudia. You need to figure this out for yourself. You got yourself into trouble, and whatever you did, it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t, and I won’t let you make it mine. I’ve got something good here, and I won’t let this family ruin it.”

He stalked over to the door, yanked it open. “So go home and fix your problems yourself.”

Claudia stared at him for a long moment and nodded. “All right, baby brother. I’ll let you sit with this if you need to. But ask yourself—” She stopped on the threshold, looked back at him. “Where’s your wife right now? Are you sure she’s okay? Because you’d better get used to feeling that way. You won’t know a second of peace if you’re not with her.”

“Claudia—”

“Think it over. You’ll see that the only way for you to keep her safe is for us to work together.”

General Hospital: Hallway

“You know, just because he’s chief of staff, he thinks he’s special and can go around questioning everyone—”

Nadine sighed, and followed Andy Archer, the on-call anesthesiologist out of the drug locker. “Andy, that’s not what he’s doing. You know that. It’s his first kid. How many first dads have we dealt with? You know doctors and nurses make the worst patients. We know too much.”

Andy grimaced. “I can get my own meds—”

“I know. But Patrick feels better when all meds go through one person. Let’s just humor him, okay?” Even if Nadine didn’t understand why he was so focused on it, she’d back Patrick without blinking. He didn’t ask for much. “You know Patrick. He likes you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay, but you tell him that I don’t appreciate it,” Andy muttered. “Page me when she’s ready for her dose.”

“I will. Should be no more than ten minutes. Thanks, Andy. You’re the best.”

Nadine locked the dispensary door, then turned around, jumping when she found Nikolas right behind her. “Oh my God, you scared the crap out of me! When did you get back—” Her breath caught. “Oh, you’re back! Does that mean—”

“Does that mean my sister is awake and knows what you did?” he said.

Nadine closed her mouth, cleared her throat. “Does that mean Lulu is doing better?” she asked, but the pit was growing in her stomach. There was always another confrontation, always someone who wanted to judge her.

And today, oh, God, today it was Nikolas.

“No. For which you should be grateful. I can’t imagine what it’s going to do for Lulu to come out of this and realize the man she loved didn’t wait a week for her—what the hell, Nadine? What were you thinking? You married him?”

Nadine hesitated. “It’s not that simple—”

Nikolas wrapped his hand around her wrist, jerked it up so that he could see the ring on her left ring finger. “Looks that simple to me. What, I didn’t want you anymore, so you went for the next rich guy who’d have you—”

Nadine jerked her hand out of his grasp. “You didn’t want me,” she repeated. “Which means I don’t owe you any answers. And before you even try it, Lulu and I weren’t even close. I didn’t owe anyone anything.”

“There are words for women like you—”

“You should know. That’s how you got your son, isn’t it?” Nadine bit out. His nostrils flared, and she found it in her to keep going. To keep pushing. “Oh, it’s not so fun when the tables are turned on you, is it? You gotta a lot of nerve waltzing back here like you didn’t up and leave without a word—you didn’t want me, Nikolas. Something you didn’t bother to tell me. I didn’t even know whatever we had was over until you decided to leave. But you don’t like to end things, do you? You sure as hell didn’t bother to end things with your wife before sleeping with someone else’s!”

“You have no right to speak of Emily that way—”

“You have no right to speak to me this way. Or to Johnny. You shoved him out of your sister’s life. You shoved me out. And now you’re complaining because we moved on together? Make up your damn mind, Nikolas. Or you know what? No. You told me once it was exhausting to know me. Well, same goes, buddy. Stay away from me.”

She shoved him aside and stalked down the hallway, leaving him sputtering behind her.

Hardy House: Living Room

Audrey plumped another set of pillows, then smiled when she found a yellow Lego piece sticking up from between the cushions of the sofa. It was good to be home where finding clues to the existence of her great-grandchildren were lovely surprises, and not a constant state of being.

It had been a bittersweet parting that morning, leaving the three most important people in her life behind after living with them for a month, but Audrey had accomplished her goal. To look after her granddaughter, to care for the boys, and to gain a better understanding of the man Elizabeth had chosen.

Audrey crossed to the mantel where a photograph of Steve and Audrey on their wedding day sat, next to Elizabeth’s senior portrait from high school. “How proud you’d be of our Lizzie,” she murmured, touching her husband’s face. “She’s forged her own path, just as you always said she would, and she’s happier for it. I do wish you were here to see her.” Maybe Steve would have tempered Audrey’s worry, and she’d have supported Elizabeth long ago.

But Audrey had muddled about on her own, and while it had taken far too long, she felt sure that she’d made the correct choice.

The ringing of the doorbell drew Audrey from her contemplations, and she hurried to answer it, wondering if it was Bobbie or Felicia stopping by to welcome her home.

Instead, it was the very last person she’d expected or wanted to see. Standing on her front step was the man who’d walked out nearly five weeks earlier.

Audrey lifted her chin. “You have exactly thirty seconds to tell me why I should not simply close the door in your face, Lucky Spencer.”

Now that we’re here
Now that we’ve come this far
Just hold on
There is nothing to fear
For I am right beside you
For all my life
I am yours
– What About Now?, Daughtry

---

 Wednesday, November 5, 2008

 Hardy House: Living Room

Her ex-grandson-in-law rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess you’re still mad about the way I left.”

“Still—” Audrey had to take a deep breath and a step back, the rage rose so quickly in her throat. “Oh, the absolute nerve, the audacity—”

 “Still mad,” Lucky said with a nod. “Listen, Audrey—”

The absolute nerve of this worthless man! “That will be Mrs. Hardy to you and for the rest of your days. You lost the right to speak to me with any familiarity the second you walked out on those boys, on Cameron who spent two weeks asking for his father.”

Lucky exhaled, looked away. “I was overwhelmed. Everything that happened with my sister, Audrey, and I doubt Jason told you, but he announced—”

“That he was Jake’s father to the entire emergency room?” Audrey finished, and Lucky furrowed his brow. “You think you’ll waltz in here after all this time and I’ll simply take your side? You think that my granddaughter and I haven’t had several long conversations filling in the gaps? Or perhaps you thought Jason wouldn’t tell Elizabeth or anyone else what you were planning to do that night.”

Lucky opened his mouth, then closed it. “I—”

“Overwhelmed? Overwhelmed? I have never been so insulted in all my life. Did you honestly think that you could waltz back into this house, into those boys’ lives as if everything you did could be waved away because your sister was ill? I am sorry for what has happened to Lesley Lu. It is a tragic and terrible situation for everyone who loves her, but Elizabeth was in the hospital. She nearly died a few days later after some complications—”

“I know—”

“You know? You know that Elizabeth had to have emergency surgery? Oh, I imagine your girlfriend was in contact with her family. Did Alexis tell Sam? Does she know what the woman did to Jake? To both those boys?”

“Audrey—Mrs. Hardy,” Lucky corrected when Audrey’s nostrils flared, and she started to close the door. “If you would just let me speak—”

“You want to speak to me now? Now? When I begged you that morning to stay, to talk about what was going on and you could barely take a moment to look me in the eyes. But now you want to speak—” Audrey raised her hand in the air, then fisted it. “Well, that is too little too late. My granddaughter has recovered her health, with no thanks or help from you. You chose to abandon those precious children who adore you when they needed you the most. They needed you, Lucky, and you were not there. I needed you. I have always championed you, Lucky. I have always encouraged Elizabeth to stay with you, to give you another chance. After the drugs, after Maxie, after she forgave you all that, you had another affair—”

“She lied to me,” Lucky said tightly. “You’re leaving that out—”

“And if you had left her because of that, I would have no argument with you. You chose to stay, Lucky. And then had your affair with that woman. And continued to see her even after you knew what she’d done to Jake. To the boys in the park.”

“I see Elizabeth gave you the Cliff’s Notes—is there any point to asking you to hear me out, or are you just going to tell me how horrible I am?” Lucky retorted. “Great, Audrey, now you know all the dirty details. I made a mistake, okay? I was overwhelmed, and upset, and I ran. I’m not proud of it, but all I can do is try to fix things. And if you could just listen to me—”

“If it is the last thing I do, Lucky Spencer, it will be to prevent you from breathing the same air as my great-grandchildren. They are happy and secure with their mother. Jake adores his father. I have to thank you for leaving and giving Jason ample time to bond with his son,” Audrey said, her tone dripping with sugary sweetness. Lucky scowled. “And for making sure that I saw you for who you really are before you went. It will be a cold day in hell before I ever plead your case again. Get off my property or I’ll have you arrested for trespassing.”

General Hospital: Labor & Delivery

 Robin’s head fell back against the pillow, flushed and damp. Her hand reached up, gripped his tie, yanked him down. “You did this to me,” she spat. “You.”

Patrick winced. “I know, and I’m sorry—”

“Robin, don’t murder the poor man.” Anna deftly untangled Robin’s fingers and Patrick was able to raise his head. He rubbed his throat. “The epidural isn’t helping?”

“I think it’s broken. I think you need to get another one—” Robin arched up, another contraction wracking her body. “Oh, God. Here it comes—”

“Aren’t they close enough for you to…” Patrick waved his hand at Kelly, hovering by Robin’s legs, lifted up by the stirrups. “Do something?”

“Did you pay attention at all when you did your obstetrics rotation in med school?” the doctor demanded. She planted her fists at her hips, rolled her eyes, then looked to Robin. “Honey, you’re dilated to about an eight. I know it hurts, I know it feels like the drugs aren’t working, but it would be so much worse without them—”

“No, no—” Her head lolled to one side, and she looked up at him, her pretty brown eyes shadowed with the pain. “Patrick. Please. Something isn’t right.”

“Hey. Hey.” He gripped her hand, bent down. “Kelly’s the best, remember? You think she’s going to let anything happen to you or this baby?”

“It hurts. I changed my mind. I don’t want to have a baby. Can we go home?”

He swept her sweaty hair back, forced a smile. “I don’t think we get a refund on this one, babe. We have to see it through to the end. I wish it were me.”

“So—do—I—” Robin grunted. “Kelly—”

“Everything is progressing just the way it’s supposed to.”  Kelly flashed her an encouraging smile. “We’re almost ready to push, Robin. It won’t be long now.”

Coffee House: Office

Max knocked, then pushed open the door. “Hey, Jase. Elizabeth asked if you had a minute—”

“Always.” Jason was out of his seat and away from the desk even before Elizabeth had crossed the threshold with Jake in her arms. He cupped the back of her head, kissed her as Max pulled the door closed. “Hey,” he murmured against her mouth, feeling the curve of her lips.

“Hey.”

Jake reached for Jason, and he stepped back to take his son in his arms. Rubbing the toddler’s back, he focused on Elizabeth. “I wasn’t expecting you, was I?”

“No. No.” She set her purse on the table, dropped Jake’s bag on the floor. “Gram called, and I just—I needed to see you. I need to figure out what we’re going to do—”

“What happened?” Jason went to the other side of the office, picking up Jake’s bag as he passed it. Then he set him down on a blanket, pulling out a dump truck and a few other toys for him to play with.

“Lucky showed up at her house today.”

Jason stilled, his hand on the dump truck. He exhaled slowly. “Did he?”

“Gram was so upset on the phone she could barely speak. She’s still so angry about how everything happened, how he left that morning. And for taking his side all the time.”

Jason got to his feet, some of the tightness in his chest easing at the realization Audrey hadn’t fallen back on old habits. “She did what she thought was best. I don’t want her upset by any of this. Especially not by him.”

“That’s what I told her. She’s just so—” Elizabeth hesitated. “Lucky said he was overwhelmed that morning, and he wants to deal with things now.” She dragged her hands through her hair. “Can you believe that? After all these weeks with no word, and he thinks he can just come back?”

“Does that surprise you?” Jason asked. He leaned back against the desk. “Do you—I mean, with Cameron, I know he still asks for Lucky—”

“Not as much as he did.” Elizabeth folded one arm across her middle, nibbled at the thumbnail on her other hand. “He thinks he can pick and choose when to be a father, and I was willing to put up with that. It makes me sick that I ever thought he was good enough for Jake, much less Cameron. I want you to know that’s not an option,” she told Jason, and the rest of the tightness faded. He could breathe again. “Jake knows you, he loves you. That’s off the table and it’s never coming back. It’s just Cameron—”

“It’s different. He’s older,” Jason said. He reached for her hand, drew it away from her mouth. “I told you we’d handle that however you wanted. Cameron knows I love him, and that’s enough for me.”

“It’s not enough for me. Jake—that’s a mistake I made. A terrible awful lie that I didn’t know how to unwind, and I made so many bad choices, and I hurt all of us. But it’s over now, and Lucky doesn’t get to come back after a month of silence and have a say in anything that happens to Jake. That was a risk he took, you know? But Cameron—that was supposed to be different. He promised me, he swore to me that he loved my little boy. That he didn’t care that he wasn’t Cam’s father by blood. And Cameron has loved him every day he can remember.”  She tipped her head back, trying to fight the tears. “I thought I’d put this away, I thought I was done with this.”

“You trusted him with your son, Elizabeth, and he walked away.”

“I keep thinking of Cameron standing on my grandmother’s steps, watching Lucky leave, and you know, he’s too young to really understand words, but he knew Lucky was leaving. And he knows he never came back. I don’t want him to think that’s what fathers do. That he has to earn his father’s love—I spent my whole life, Jason, not being good enough for my parents—”

He drew her close to him, kissed her gently, just a brush of his lips against her trembling mouth. He kept her close, stroking her cheek with the pad of his thumb. He didn’t reassure her that she was good enough — she knew it. But Lucky had brought it all back, and Jason would have dropped him in the lake for just putting that look in her eyes again.

“We don’t have to have all the answers today. Cameron knows that you love him, and that you’ll always be there for him.”

She curled her hands around his wrists. “I don’t want Lucky in his life. I don’t want Cam to have another moment like that. And he won’t. Not with you. I want my little boy to have you. I want him to feel loved with every breath he takes. So if Lucky tries for custody, I want you to do whatever you have to, and make it go away.”

“I know a few people,” Jason said. He kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry. If he’s stupid enough to try for visitation, he’ll regret it. You’re not unconscious in a hospital bed this time.”

“No, this time, he won’t get away without hearing exactly what I think.” She smiled, and though her lashes were still damp, the sadness had left her eyes. “Maybe if you had time, we could get Cam together today. Do something. Just the four of us.” She bit her lip. “But if you’re busy—”

“Nothing that can’t wait.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

He was coming out of his skin, pacing the apartment, thinking about the awful visit from his sister.

Who the hell could Claudia have pissed off so much that she was absolutely terrified? He’d seen his sister worried, unsettled, or unhappy, but scared?

He didn’t know the word was even in her vocabulary.

Johnny crossed from the living room door to the window overlooking the street, his mind racing.

Don’t ask, don’t tell. It was the only way Johnny had been able to breathe these last few months, but he didn’t think Nadine would care that he didn’t technically know how Michael Corinthos had ended up with a bullet in his head, or that he hadn’t known then.

Her heart was too generous, her soul too clean for her to look past the stain on his own. He dragged a hand down his face. And what if Claudia was wrong? Whoever had threatened her had done so today after their lunch.

Which meant they were in Port Charles.

“Where’s your wife right now? Are you sure she’s okay? Because you’d better get used to feeling that way. You won’t know a second of peace if you’re not with her.”

Johnny headed for the door, yanking his coat off the hook on his way out.

He had the sudden urge to see his wife.

General Hospital: Labor & Delivery

The pain had been so constant, so steady, that Robin almost grew used to it, riding the waves of sheer agony mixed with dull throbbing as the contractions ebbed and flowed over the last few hours.

But then it had happened so fast—bearing down, Kelly telling her to keep pushing, to keep going, to just push a little harder—

There was the shoulder! It was all downhill from here—just push—

A harsh, high-pitched cry broke out and Robin could see a baby being lifted up—her baby—her little, red-bodied furious child protesting the loss of a warm, comfortable world—

Kelly laid the baby on Robin’s chest, and Robin was crying—couldn’t feel it, didn’t know it, but the tears dripped down, and she looked at Patrick, his cheeks wet, his hand coming down to cup the back of their child’s head with her shock of dark hair—

“It’s a girl!” Kelly crowed. “Here, Patrick, come cut—”

A girl. Robin was dimly aware that Patrick had stepped away, taking the surgical shears from their friend and was cutting the cord that linked Robin to their daughter, keeping her fed and nourished all this time, keeping her safe and healthy—

“Oh, my darling, my love—” Anna leaned down, kissed Robin’s forehead. “She’s here.” Her mother’s voice was hoarse, the glimmer of tears in her eyes.

“She’s here,” Robin breathed. She smiled, even as the tears continued to flow. A dream she’d never really hoped for, the future she’d never expected — and now it was here, and Robin was holding her— “Patrick, she’s here.”

“Yeah, she is. And she’s perfect.” Patrick kissed their daughter, then Robin, pressing their foreheads together. “You both are.”

But the little family time had to be disturbed. Nadine and another labor nurse whisked the baby away to clean up and be given the first anti-retroviral therapy medication to prevent any perinatal transmission of HIV, a regimen that would last at least a month. They wouldn’t be able to test her until later, until her system was clear of any connection to Robin.

Nadine took in this explanation from the experienced nurse, who must have seen the expression on the younger nurse’s face. “Oh, Dr. Scorpio’s anti-viral load isn’t detectable. The chances of transmission were less than one percent. But we still follow the protocol.” She patted Nadine’s hand, then returned the bundle to her parents. Robin had been cleaned up, her face beaming as her daughter was placed in her arms again.

There was nothing else for Nadine to do, and she wanted them to have their time, to have the quiet so she backed out of the room and left the labor and delivery ward, pressing the button to exit the secure wing.

She turned to go down the hall, to head for the break room but saw Johnny pacing back and forth in front of the elevator.

“Johnny? What are you doing here?”

Johnny stopped, his eyes snapping to hers. “Hey. Hey. They said you were in a delivery. I wanted to wait for you.”

Nadine tugged the surgical cap from her hair, her smile still confused. “Yeah, but I’m not done my shift yet. Not for hours.”

“I know. I, just—” He grimaced, shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark, suede jacket. “Do you—I mean, do you have a minute? Can we talk?”

“Sure.” She tossed a look at the nurse behind the counter, then took his arm. “Let’s go up to the roof. I don’t really feel like being on display.”

“Yeah, good. I don’t want anyone to hear us.”

Oh, that didn’t sound good at all.

 Shadybrooke: Laura’s Room

 “We just have to finish packing this last dresser,” Nikolas told Lucky, frowning when his brother remained at the window unresponsive, not unlike their mother. “Lucky?”

“Hm?” Lucky looked at him, nodded. “Yeah. Right. Good.”

Nikolas closed the suitcase, glanced over at his mother, sitting in her chair, her eyes fixed on a point somewhere in the distance. Still empty. Just like their sister. “I’m guessing Audrey Hardy wasn’t happy to see you.”

“No.” Lucky dragged a hand down his face. “No, she was not. She wouldn’t let me explain. Wouldn’t even let me say more than a few words. Jason’s got to her.”

“Jason?” Nikolas repeated. “What does that mean?’

“They were all at his place while Elizabeth recovered. I knew—I knew Alexis told us that, but I don’t think I thought about what that meant.” Lucky went over to the bed, sat on the edge. “She’s on Jason’s side. Completely. And Elizabeth told her all the parts she’d left out before. About Sam and Maxie.”

“Ah. Well, you had to know that was a possibility. Or did you think that the world stood still while we were gone?” Nikolas asked.

“You just—you take things for granted, you know? I’m the good guy. The right choice. The safe one. Audrey always—she always took my part. And she’s always just…been there. When I left, she was upset, I just thought I’d explain how things sort of got out of control with Lulu and what happened in the emergency room, and she’d—”

“I warned you.” Nikolas closed the dresser door he’d been clearing a bit too hard, and the sound echoed in the room. Lucky flinched. “I told you we’d stay and we’d fight. I’d find you a lawyer, and you wanted to go.”

“Who’s side are you on?”

“No one’s. My own. I don’t know. There are no sides, Lucky. There’s what happened and how we deal with it. Our sister is locked in the same place as our mother, with almost no hope of recovery,” Nikolas retorted, and Lucky sighed, rubbed his forehead. “And yeah, it all went to hell in twenty-four hours. But you were never supposed to leave that day. That wasn’t the plan. You chose to leave with Elizabeth in a hospital bed. You chose to dump Jake and Cameron’s things at Audrey’s feet with no discussion, no goodbyes, and you chose to hop on a plane weeks before you were supposed to. No one asked you to quit your job that night. No one asked you to burn the bridges as you left. That was you. And now you’re standing in a room whining about your choices while I look at a woman who will never wake up. What do you expect me to say, Lucky? Congratulations. You gambled and you lost.”

“I—” Lucky stared at him, shaken. “You said to come back, that I should talk to Elizabeth, figure it out—”

“And you should do that. You should talk to Elizabeth. If she even wants to see you—” Nikolas took a deep breath. “We both left her, Lucky. She was bruised and unconscious in a hospital bed. In the ICU. And we walked out. Did we have to go that soon? Could it have waited? I don’t know. But we did what we did, and now we’re coming back like there aren’t consequences—”

“We?” Lucky echoed. He got to his feet. “What happened when you went out today? Did you go to Nadine? It’s what we thought, isn’t it? Some witness bullshit like Sonny and Carly always pulled.”

“I—” Nikolas looked away, caught sight of himself in the mirror. “I saw Maxie first. She told me that you wouldn’t find any friends on the custody front, but then she told me Johnny and Nadine are living together. That they seem….friendly.”

“Friendly?”

“She thinks something is going on. Something else. Nadine got arrested for contempt at his trial, didn’t she?”

“Oh, come on—” Lucky shook his head. “No way. No way. Nadine would defend a serial killer if she thought she was doing the right thing. You know that. Look at the trouble she was getting herself into. And Johnny—he was all about Lulu. You know that. We hated it, but we knew that.” He stopped. “And you left her, Nikolas. You’re the one that burned that bridge, not her.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s something she said—well, shouted,” Nikolas muttered. He rubbed his chest. “Christ. We made a mess of everything, didn’t we?” He sat on the bed, and Lucky sat next to him.

“Yeah, I guess.” Lucky looked at their mother. “Well, at least Dad’s not around to make things even worse.”

General Hospital: Roof

 Now that he’d dragged Nadine up to the roof where the lights of downtown Port Charles lit up around them, the wind roaring around the sides of the building—Johnny felt like an idiot. He’d rushed over to the hospital just to see her, to make sure she was okay — and now what? Was he planning to tell her about the ambiguous threats made by Claudia? How did he begin to tell Nadine what had happened without revealing the horrible thing his sister might have but almost definitely done?

“Johnny?”

“What?” He looked at her. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking about how cold it’d be up here right now.”

“It’s fine. I’m used to it, but you’re sort of freaking me out. Did you have a run-in with Nikolas, too?”

“Nikolas?” Johnny echoed. He turned, his back to the city skyline, brow creased. “Wait, he’s back?”

“Yeah, and he knew about us. I mean, that we got married. Wasn’t really that happy about it. Apparently I’m a terrible person for what I’ve done to his sister.” She shook her head, looked away. “They never judge the man, do they? It’s always the woman.”

“No, they don’t,” Johnny said, thinking of all the abuse she’d taken since their marriage, and all the problems he could still bring to her. He rubbed his brow. “Did he say why he was back?”

“His mother, I think. It’s not—I mean, he said there was no change—for Lulu. That she’s the same as when they left.”

The air whooshed out of him all at once because he hadn’t considered, even let himself imagine that after all this time, there’d be no change at all. That Lulu, bright beautiful vibrant Lulu, would still be locked inside her own mind. He’d tried not to let himself think about Lulu at all, but now, to know— “Nothing at all? Not even a little?”

“No.” She was quiet for a beat. “I’m sorry. I know that’s the last thing you wanted to hear.”

Johnny sank onto the ledge of the hospital roof, staring at nothing. “Nothing at all,” he murmured. He’d tried hard not to think about Lulu these last few weeks. It didn’t seem fair to anyone involved, most of all Nadine who hadn’t done anything except be his friend. But now he realized somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d expected the news to be better. He’d almost wanted to fight with Lulu when she came home.

Because of course she’d come home. How could there be any other alternative?

“I didn’t get more details than that. I could ask Spinelli if he’s heard more—”

“No, it’s—it’s okay. Um—” He rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand, forced himself back into the moment. “It’s better this way. That I don’t know. I don’t have a right to know anymore.”

“Johnny.” Nadine sat next to him, her eyes kind. “Hey. I know we had that stupid fight, but that doesn’t mean I’m going back on what I said at the beginning. I know you love Lulu. I know this hurts.”

“I—” He grimaced, shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to know that. You probably think I’m a real asshole. The way things have been the last few weeks, me acting like she didn’t exist—”

“Do you think that I believed that? Johnny. Come on. We’re friends, aren’t we? I’d like to think we’ve managed that much. After everything we’ve been though, I hope you know you can be honest with me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Johnny said. He looked at her. “I never want to hurt you. You know that, don’t you?”

“I do,” she said, and he relaxed a little. “I know we don’t have all the answers. We’re taking this one step at a time, right? We had that fight, and well—” She wrinkled her nose. “We didn’t really resolve anything, I guess.”

No. He’d changed the subject, and they’d ended up in bed. “I guess not.”

“And I’m not trying to pick up the conversation where we left off, not really. I just want you to know you don’t have to hide how you feel about Lulu from me. You’ll probably always love Lulu just a little bit. Even if she never comes back from this—which I refuse to accept by the way—The way it ended—so abruptly—how could you feel any other way? What did you say in Vegas? You were right.  We’re not hurting anyone. Not really. No one whose opinions matter to us, right? We’re young, we like each other. And maybe we were a little bit lonely.”

“You don’t think you deserve better than that?”

“I think,” Nadine said carefully, “that I make my own choices, and if I had wanted things to be different, they would be. You didn’t seduce me, Johnny. You tempted me. There was a difference. And we both know you did that because you wanted to distract yourself from everything else.” Her smile was a bit crooked. “Right now, it’s working for us. When that stops, we’ll deal with it.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He blew out his breath.

“If you didn’t know about Nikolas, what brought you here?”

“Oh.” He frowned. “I, uh, I guess I just wanted to see you.” When she just looked at him, he shrugged but looked away. “I’m still getting used to these long shifts. I need to figure out something to do when you’re not at home.”

Home. It didn’t feel strange to hear him describe her—their—tiny apartment that way. She smiled. “We’ll talk about when I go off rotation this weekend.” Nadine slid off the ledge, then kissed his cheek. “I better get back to work. I’ll see you at home.”