All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
– Mad World, Gary Jules

December 27, 2005

Bannister’s Wharf

Elizabeth sat on the bench staring out over the water, letting the stinging wind whip around her. She couldn’t really feel the cold. Not after what Robin had told her today.

Her best friend in the world was sick, could become even worse and die some day. She had lost her fiancé to this illness, a man that Elizabeth hadn’t known about. Hadn’t been able to gush about, to mourn, to love. Robin had had an entire life in Paris and no one had known.

She couldn’t turn to Patrick because he didn’t know and he deserved to hear this from Robin. She couldn’t talk to her father because in some ways, she blamed her father for all that had happened in her life since her mother had died. If Noah had just handled things a little bit better, maybe Patrick wouldn’t have torn himself apart and driven Robin away.

Anyway, she could never talk to her father in any real way that mattered. Not about anything.

And she couldn’t turn to Jason, which had been her first instinct. She had had her phone out and was pressing the speed dial before she remembered that today was the first day of his disappearance. No contact until he made the first move. It had seemed like such an easy promise last night, but she wasn’t so sure anymore. How could she lose her heart to someone who was turning out to be as inaccessible as her father and brother? Sure, Jason’s distance was physical, not emotional, but it was distance all the same.

She should have stuck with Lucky. Maybe they had already been drifting into “friends” territory towards the end of their relationship in high school. The passion and the sweetness had disappeared and they’d each known that there was more out there. But now they were both alone and he was the most normal guy she’d ever known. She should have stuck with him.

“Elizabeth?”

Elizabeth glanced up to find Sonny Corinthos staring at her, concerned. “Sonny?”

He gestured with a gloved hand. “You’re crying,” he stated. “Are you all right?”

Elizabeth brought her hand up to feel her freezing face and was surprised to find her hand bare and her cheeks wet. “Oh. I didn’t realize.”

Sonny lowered himself onto the bench next to her and took her freezing hands in his, rubbing them to warm them up. “If I let you turn into an icicle, Jason would never forgive me.” He turned to one of the men she hadn’t noticed before. “Could you find a pair of gloves for Miss Drake to wear?”

“Sure thing,” the man disappeared up the stairs and Sonny turned his attention back to her.

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked.

“No,” Elizabeth shook her head, embarrassed. “I was just feeling sorry for myself. You don’t need to do anything—-”

“Of course I do,” Sonny said easily. “Jason is my friend and you mean a lot to him. Is it him? Are you missing him already?”

“No,” Elizabeth said quickly. “Well, yes, of course, but that’s not why I’m upset.” She sighed. “A friend gave me some really awful news and I just…I was thinking about how I didn’t have anyone I could talk to about it. Jason’s…not available. My family is a mess and everyone else is dealing with the news anyway.”

Sonny nodded. “It’s rough to be in the same circle of friends when something bad happens,” he said. “Because you can’t really depend on someone else to be strong since they’re reeling from it as well.”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Robin Scorpio,” she said, “was my best friend growing up. We were more like sisters because she was basically dating my brother from the time we were fourteen until we graduated from college. My mom died and my brother made her so unhappy she went to Paris for medical school,” she explained. “She met someone there, planned to marry him and found out he had AIDS and shortly before he died, she was diagnosed with HIV.”

“I’m so sorry, Elizabeth,” Sonny murmured. “And you found this out today?”

“Every piece of it,” she said. “Robin left very abruptly about three months after my mom died. I didn’t really know why then; I assumed my brother had broken up with her and she needed to get away. But she only wrote me once or twice, she never returned my phone calls and she never visited. Since I never knew about this guy she was engaged to, there was a lot of ground for Robin to cover before she even got to the bad parts.”

She could feel the hysteria crawling up her throat. Her voice began to hitch. “She was my best friend in the world. Her life fell apart a year ago and she never once bothered to pick up the phone. I can’t understand why any of this happening, how I can be so devastated for her and so goddamn furious at the same time!”

Sonny shifted his arm and put it around her shoulders, drawing her in a warm embrace that reminded her a bit of the safety she’d once felt with her brother. Just the reminder of how far apart she and Patrick had grown drove her over the edge and the tears started to slip out. “How could she shut me out like that? Because I’m Patrick’s sister? Because she didn’t want to deal with it anymore? How could she ignore me?”

Her voice broke. “My life fell apart too, and I couldn’t talk to her anymore. And now I don’t have anyone because I was stupid enough to fall in love with someone like my father, who always manages to be unavailable when you really need someone—” she broke off abruptly as she realized who she had just said that to. The man that caused Jason to be unavailable. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“Sure you did,” Sonny said. He used his free hand to rub her shoulder. “But it’s okay, we can keep it between us.”

“No, really, I don’t have a problem with Jason working for you and we talked about him not being able to talk to me for a few days or even longer if necessary. I’m okay with it, or I was in theory. I just…” she drew in a deep breath. “I just wasn’t expecting this to happen today. I’m all over the place.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Sonny assured her. “I’m sure it’s going to be a rough adjustment period, so don’t worry about it. You’re having a bad day and not having Jason to help you through it is going to make you resent things a bit. Don’t worry about it.”

“Jason’s always there when it counts,” Elizabeth said. “He’s nothing like my father, I didn’t mean…” she exhaled in a huff. “I don’t know what I mean anymore. I’m sorry to have lost it like that.”

“I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone,” Sonny said. “So maybe it will help you to trust me a little.” He patted her arm. “I didn’t ask Jason to do more for me because of his skills or his abilities. Or I should say, not just because he has them.” He hesitated. “I asked him because I think he’s a little like me. Searching for something to make his life matter, to prove something to himself. I went down a lot of dark roads trying to do that and I didn’t want that to happen to him, so I cut out the middle road and gave him more responsibility than I would have given to anyone else working for me for so little time.”

“Sonny…”

“My wife adores him,” Sonny continued. “She considers him part of her family and so do I. I’ve known for months that you were more than just the friendly nurse who took care of him in the hospital. Jason considers you part of his family, which makes you part of ours.”

“He thinks the world of you,” Elizabeth said softly. “He would never want to disappoint you because you gave him a chance when everyone else said he was worthless and would never amount to anything. That’s why I told him it’d be okay to take the job, that I would never hold him back. Because as much as he says he wouldn’t hold it against me, and we’d go on the way we were before, I knew what would happen. He’d resent me because he’d have to let you down and he would rather cut his arm off first.” She swiped at her eyes. “He’s important to me, Sonny, and I’ll find a way to deal with the rest of it because it’s worth it to me to try.”

“Good.” Sonny handed her a pair of leather gloves that his man had given him. “Put these on. And if you’re free, I’ll bring you home to Brenda. You can cry on her shoulder because she’s a woman and might be able to tell you why your Robin did what she did. Then maybe you can face Robin without the bitterness. That’s what you want to do, right?”

“It is,” Elizabeth admitted. “I guess I didn’t realize I had been holding that in for so long. But I have to be able to support her through what’s happening and I can’t do that if I’m angry.”

“Excellent.” Sonny stood and pulled Elizabeth to her feet. “I’ll cook you a nice dinner.”

Spencer House: Lulu’s Room

Lulu heard the front door close, which indicated that her father had left for the casino for the night. She reached under her bed and tugged out a bag of books.

“‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’,” she read the title of the first. “Why doesn’t anyone write a book called ‘What To Expect What You’re Not Sure You

Want to Be Expecting’?” she muttered.

“Because it would never fit on the cover.”

Lulu whirled around to find her older brother leaning against the doorjamb.

“Lucky…what’re you doing here?”

“Mom called me. She thought you might need some advice from someone a bit younger and less biased.” Lucky turned her desk chair around and sat in it. “So, Lu, I guess you’ve got yourself in a bit of a pickle.”

“A pickle,” Lulu murmured. “That’s interesting.” She leaned against her bed and closed her eyes. “So where’s the advice you promised Mom?”

“When Elizabeth and I were seniors,” Lucky said slowly, “she was late.”

Lulu jerked her head up and stared at him. “What?”

“Really late,” Lucky said. “And we were scared shitless. We were barely seventeen, and already we knew that we were just marking time. We were together because we had been for three years and neither one of us wanted to find out what high school would be like without the other. So to think that we had made a kid together when we didn’t want forever…that was terrifying.”

“She wasn’t pregnant though, right?”

“No,” Lucky replied. “But we had about three weeks of thinking she might be. She didn’t want to take the test and I didn’t want her to either. Because if it came out positive, what the hell would we do? I mean, we were just kids. We still had college to go through; we had the rest of our lives ahead of us. How could we raise a kid?”

“So what happened?” Lulu asked.

“Well, eventually we decided that if she was pregnant, we wouldn’t get married,” Lucky said. “At least not because she was knocked up. That’s no way to start a marriage and it would be bad enough to saddle a kid with teenage parents, you don’t want to add an unhappy relationship to it, you know? We decided we’d do joint custody, maybe even get an apartment so we could raise the baby, but we wouldn’t promise to spend our lives together. That would just be a trap for us.”

He scratched his forehead. “Anyway, Elizabeth wasn’t pregnant and we decided to break up. Like I said, it was over anyway and we didn’t want to chance making another mistake.”

“So that’s why you guys broke up,” Lulu said. “Everyone always wondered, but you guys never really said.” She picked at her carpet. “So you decided to keep the baby, if there was one?”

“We talked about everything else,” Lucky said. “We discussed abortion and adoption, but Elizabeth wasn’t really into either. She knew she wanted to be a mother one day and figured if it was meant to happen, it would happen.”

“Did that scare you?” Lulu asked. “I mean, that she basically made the decision for you?”

“Well, I figured it was her body, she had the final decision anyway, but my heart was never in the other options either. But that was us, Lu. We didn’t have the stuff to deal with that you do. Elizabeth wasn’t dating someone who had a lot of problems and we’d been together forever. We already knew we were going to end up friends. You and Will are different. He’s got a lot of problems, Lu, and no one would blame you if you didn’t want to bring a life into this world with him.”

“I tried to tell him today,” she said softly. “I was kind of hoping he’d take it out of my hands, you know? But I wasn’t saying it right and he thought I was asking to get back together. He’s sober, he has been since Christmas Eve and I know it’s only three days—”

“Three days, three hours, it doesn’t matter,” Lucky said. “Patrick told me he’s trying.”

“Yeah, and I guess he’s trying to get his life back in order. He could still get his grades under control and go to a really good college,” Lulu sighed. “I guess a baby could mess that up.”

“Lu…” Lucky left his seat to slide down next to her. “He needs to make that decision for himself. I’m glad he’s trying to find his way out from under the mess his parents left him in. I know he’s had a rough year, and you have in your own way, too. I’m not saying that you have to tell him, because ultimately, that’s up to you. But speaking from experience…even though Ellie and I were on the way out, I still cared about her and I’m glad I was able to be there for her while she was scared. I know Will cares about you; that’s pretty easy to see. Is it healthy? Maybe, maybe not. You guys are young; it’s hard to tell if it’s something that can last. Lu, I can’t tell you what to do. I can only tell you that I love you, that I will support whatever it is you choose to do.

“And by the way, squirt…” he grasped her chin. “You are my kid sister and no one had better tell you that you’re not Spencer enough. You’ve got enough Spencer in you to scare the crap out of our old man. And that’s saying something.”

Lulu laughed and then found herself starting to cry. She threw herself into her older brother’s arms. “Thank you for saying that. You’re the best brother a girl could have.”

 

General Hospital: Locker Room

“I thought you were done a few hours ago.”

Emily glanced up to find Robin studying her closely. “Oh. Yeah. I’m picking up another shift. I needed to get out of the house.” She opened her locker and tugged out her scrubs top. “Um, did you tell Patrick?”

“I tried,” Robin sighed, “but I didn’t get very far. He didn’t take the news about Stone well.”

“Well, if you got the mention of Stone out, he’ll probably figure out the rest—” Emily started.

“No, I mean the fact that I moved on and found someone else.” Robin sank onto the bench and huffed. “I didn’t…I knew that since I came home, he’d hinted that maybe we could date again but I didn’t realize…it’s like he thinks time stopped. That we didn’t have lives in the last three years.”

“He didn’t,” Emily said softly. “Not in the way you did. After you left, his father’s drinking started to get worse. He started to argue with Ellie and Jay had his car accident. That first year, I wasn’t sure that he was even going to stick around Port Charles. Especially after Jay woke up and wasn’t, you know, Jay anymore. That was the last straw for him. For a lot of us, Robin. I can appreciate that you did not have a magical fairy tale in Paris and my heart breaks for what you’ve been through but our lives didn’t exactly stop either and we’re all still picking up the pieces.”

“I get that but hasn’t Patrick dated?” Robin asked, bewildered. “I got the impression from the nursing staff that he’s dated half of them and asked out the rest—”

“Dated,” Emily repeated. She took off her sweater and hung it in her locker. “There’s been no one for him since you left. No one that was anything more than a distraction. Robin, he fell in love with you when he was fourteen and he’s never fallen back out. The last time his life made any sense, it was with you. I don’t blame him for thinking that if he had you back, things would be okay.”

“I thought they were now,” Robin frowned. “His dad stopped drinking, he and Ellie are all right. I mean, he still lost his mom and Jay, but—”

“The thing about Noah is…he’s only been sober for about a year and…” Emily paused. “The thing is, only Ellie really thinks he’s sober. I mean, he gives the impression that he is but I don’t think anyone believes him.”

“My dad said something like that but I didn’t really pay attention to that. Emily, I can’t date Patrick to make his life easier—”

“No, I get that. But he doesn’t know the rest of the story. He thinks that his life exploded. In the span of six months, his mother died, the love of his life disappeared, his family disintegrated, his best friend basically died and as far as he knows, you were in Paris…falling in love with someone else. Honestly, Robin, I’m not sure he can handle the rest of it now. Because now he’s hating you for being happy at all and when he finds out what really happened, he’s going to turn that hatred on himself.” She fastened her scrub bottoms and sat next to Robin.

“The truth is,” Emily continued, “that Patrick has been walking a very fine line for the last year, since Noah’s accident, but he’s starting to fray at the edges. Watching Ellie with Jason and knowing it should be Jay is eating at him. Wondering if his father is going to sink back into a bottle and knowing that it runs in the family…he’s terrified he’s going to end up just like his father and I think…if he finds out that you’re sick…he might just fall off the edge altogether.”

“I can’t not tell him,” Robin chewed her lip. “I’m telling my mother when she flies in for New Year’s. Ellie knows. My father knows, you know. Lucky knew anyway. If I don’t tell him, if I wait too long, it’ll be worse because he’ll know everyone else knew. And he’ll think I lied to him. You know he hates when someone tries to protect him.”

“All very valid points,” Emily agreed. “But you also need to tell him for you. You want to tell him. And you can’t be selfish, Robin. It’s not fair to him.”

“No, I get what you’re saying. I just wanted this over with, but I can’t do at risk of hurting him more,” Robin replied. “What do you suggest I do?”

“Wait a few days, at least until your mom gets here on the thirtieth. Give him some time to calm down, to accept that you did move on in Paris, and then see where you are. If you have to tell him in stages, then tell him in stages. No one says you have to do all at once.”

“Thanks.” Robin was silent for a moment. “I know you and Ellie are angry with me. Ellie, in particular, for the way I left. I wish I could say sorry and have it be enough…”

“Robin…” Emily hesitated. “Yeah, I was angry. I still am, a little. But it’s because I’m your friend and I should have been there for you. I wish I could have been there, at the funeral. With Ellie, she’s had the exact same time of it as Patrick, except she’s walking away from it with Jason, which isn’t exactly a prize. I loved my brother so much and I love the one I have now, but he is working for Sonny and I don’t care what she tells him, I know she’s not doing well with it. You and Ellie were always closer than you and me. Maybe you needed to get away from Patrick, but she could have used you a time or two. ”

“I know. I felt awful when I realized all that had happened. She never told me about it in her letters, but that’s no excuse. I didn’t handle any of it right.”

“All that aside,” Emily stood and shut her locker, “I am here for you, no matter. Whatever you need. I’m sick inside about what’s happened to you and I hope you’ll let me know if there’s anything you need from me.”

Robin reached forward and hugged her friend. “You’re wrong about something, you know.” She said, pulling back. “Even though you were two years behind us, you and I were still friends and I shouldn’t have abandoned you either.”

“Well, it’s over now. You’re home now and we have to pick up new pieces.” Emily smiled faintly. “And throw out others.”

Patrick & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Living Room

Elizabeth pushed open her front door and found Will on the couch, watching television and eating a slice of pizza. “Hey.” She closed the door and removed her coat. “Don’t tell me that’s what you ate for dinner.”

“Not much else in there except frozen pizza.” Will gestured towards the uneaten pieces on the plate in front of him. “You can have some.”

“No, thanks.” She dropped on the couch next to him. “Didn’t Patrick come home?”

“Not yet.” Will dropped the half eaten slice back on his plate. “So Lu stopped by.” He scratched his head. “She wanted to talk but I thought she wanted to get back together so I told her that wasn’t going to happen. She looked kind of upset.”

“Did she actually say that?” Elizabeth pointedly.

“Um.” Will paused. “Well, no.”

“Then you should probably have heard her out.” Elizabeth tapped her fingers restlessly against the arm of the couch. “It’s pretty late. Patrick didn’t call?”

“I don’t think so, but I figured he was out wooing the lovely Dr. Scorpio.” Will shrugged. “He was talking about trying to get her back on Christmas Eve.”

“He wants to get back together with Robin?” Elizabeth asked. “Oh, no.”

“That’s what I said,” her cousin replied. “I told him Drake men don’t get to keep the girl but I guess he thinks he can break the cycle.” He eyed her. “Do Drake women get the guys? I always wondered.”

“Will…” Elizabeth sighed. Before she could say anything else, the apartment phone rang. She leaned back and grabbed the cordless from the table behind the couch. “Hello?”

“Ellie Drake?”

“Yes?” Elizabeth replied.

“It’s Coleman down here at Jake’s. I, ah, called you a few times to pick up your dad.”

Elizabeth’s stomach clutched terribly. “My…dad isn’t there right?”

“No, no, darlin’. Your brother is. Patrick, right? He’s been here for the past three hours.”

“Oh, no,” she sighed. “How bad is he?”

“Well, that’s the thing. He’s been staring at the same shot of whiskey the entire time. I don’t think he’s even sipped it. Normally I don’t chase off the sober ones but I gotta say, Ellie, I’m a bit worried.”

“I’ll be down to pick him up. Thanks, Coleman,” she sighed again, “you do have a way of bailing out the men in my family.” She hung up and rubbed her eyes. “I have to pick up Patrick at Jake’s. Do me a favor, Will?”

“Yep?”

“I want you to call Lu tomorrow and ask her to tell you what she wanted to tell you today. She deserves to be heard out, even if it is just to break your heart again.” Elizabeth stood and reached for her coat. “You never make anything better by running away from it. It’s usually worse that way.”

Port Charles Grille

“Are you tired?” Nikolas asked. “I knew I should have taken you home.”

Emily shook her head. “No, I was hungry and we don’t get to see each other much.” She set her fork down and sipped her wine. “I don’t really want to be anywhere else.”

He eyed her, concerned. “I wish I could say that I believed that because you want to be with me, but I get the feeling that I’m not much more than a distraction right now.”

“Oh…no,” Emily shook her head. “No, Nikolas. You’re never a distraction, I’m sorry—”

“Em…” He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “I love you. I know I’m not the center of your life and I can tell something’s on your mind. Why don’t you just tell me what’s wrong?”

Emily pursed her lips. “Well…I guess Robin wouldn’t mind.” She haltingly related the information she’d received today. Nikolas took it in slowly and sighed.

“How awful,” he murmured. “I remember this Stone Cates. Lucky went to his funeral last year but he never said anything about Robin.”

“She didn’t tell anyone but Lucky and I guess she made him keep it a secret.” Emily leaned back in her chair. “She’s starting to tell everyone, it’s the reason she moved home. She told her father and then me and Ellie today. She wanted to tell Patrick but…” she shook her head. “He couldn’t accept the fact that she’d loved someone else enough to marry him so she wasn’t able to tell him about the illness.”

“He’s always loved her,” Nikolas said. “I can imagine the idea of her finding that with someone else must have shaken him a great deal.”

Emily nodded and they were silent for a long moment. “Nikolas, your uncle still plans to move to Greece after the wedding, doesn’t he?” she asked softly.

Nikolas didn’t answer her right away. He wiped his mouth with the linen napkin and signaled for the waiter to remove their entrée plates. Once that was finished, “He hasn’t mentioned it in a while but I imagine that’s still his plan.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Does it bother me that my uncle refuses to let the past go?” Nikolas clarified. “That the legacy of a Cassadine woman neither one of us knew is enough for him to cause us both unhappiness? Yes, it bothers me. Emily, you are not the reason he will go to Greece and I am not the reason your grandfather is threatening to disown you.”

“No, I know that,” Emily replied. “I know that my grandfather has never forgiven Sofia Cassadine for breaking his brother’s heart and Grandfather believes that led him to commit suicide. Logically, I know that his reaction to our engagement has nothing to do with either of us. But I guess…our families are both so important to us, Nikolas. How do we know that one day, years from now, we won’t look at each other and think it wasn’t worth it?”

“Are you having second thoughts?” Nikolas inquired, forcing his voice to be light.

“Not about you,” Emily assured him. “I love you. I do.” She paused. “But my family…they took me in and loved me even when I didn’t give them a reason to. I don’t know if I can willingly cause them this kind of pain.”

“You aren’t causing them anything,” he argued. “They’re doing it to themselves and they’ll come to their senses soon enough. They’re bluffing, Emily. I wish you had the spine to recognize that.”

She sat straight in her chair and stared at him. “You wish I had the spine to recognize that,” she repeated. She set her glass of wine down. “I didn’t realize you thought so little of me.”

“I didn’t mean that the way…” he cursed under his breath. “Emily, I’m just frustrated by the situation. We’ve been engaged for months and you refuse to set a date because your grandfather is jerking you around. I want to start our lives together and I’m tired of waiting for you to realize that your family is just using your love for them a weapon to hurt us both.”

“It may be easy for you to turn your back on your family,” Emily said. “But your impatience with your uncle is not the same as mine for my grandfather. You and he never knew your great-aunt. For my grandfather, every time he sees a member of your family, he is reminded of why he believes his brother is dead. I am asking him to go through that again, so forgive me if I want to have a bit more patience with someone who has never asked a single thing of me.” She stood and reached for her purse. “I love you, Nikolas, but I love my family, too. I just don’t find it as easy as you do to choose between the two.”

She walked away and Nikolas found himself just a little panicked when she didn’t turn back.

Jake’s Bar

Elizabeth stowed her cell phone into her purse as she crossed the threshold into the dive near the docks. She’d been here many times. Despite its seedy appearance, she’d celebrated her twenty-first birthday here with Jay, Patrick, Robin, Lucky and Nikolas.

And of course, she’d dragged her father out of here quite a few times.

She found her brother sitting at a corner table, a bottle of vodka in front of him, nearly full. A shot of the alcohol beside the bottle. Thanks to her conversation with Robin on her way here, she knew that her brother did not have the full story.

If he knew the full extent of Robin’s life in Paris, Elizabeth didn’t doubt that he would have done more than stare at a glass. He’d be almost through the bottle.

She pulled out the chair across from him and sat in. “Hey.”

He glanced up at her. “What are you doing here?”

“Coleman must have me on speed dial,” Elizabeth said dryly, tipping her head towards the gray-haired bartender dressed in one of his usual wildly printed shirts. “We’re on a first name basis. Well, he calls me Ellie anyway.”

“I’m sorry. About this morning,” he clarified when he saw her questioning look. “I’m just trying to look out for you but I guess I’m kind of rusty at it.”

“I just want you to respect me enough to trust my choices,” she said softly. “I love you, Patrick. You’ve always been more than my brother; you’ve been my best friend. I don’t want to lose that.”

“Well, you’re about all I got left,” he said roughly. “I don’t know what to do about Dad. It’s like I tried to put all that anger and resentment away while he was getting better and now it’s out again. I don’t know what to do with it all. Robin’s…well, she’s just not the person I thought she was or wanted her to be. I don’t have anything else.”

“Patrick, Robin’s still your friend…” Elizabeth sighed. “Why are you here anyway?” she asked, changing the subject.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “Either trying to prove I’m nothing like the rest of our family or I’m exactly like them. I forget.”

“Patrick, you are nothing like Dad. Or Uncle Liam. Or our grandfather.” Elizabeth pushed the vodka bottle to the side. “In the last three and a half years, you lost your mother, your girlfriend and your best friend. Did you start to drink then?”

“No,” he answered.

“No,” Elizabeth repeated. “Instead, you graduated with honors from medical school in two years and you’re on the fast track to being an incredible surgeon. Yeah, maybe your patience for other people has taken a bit of a nosedive and you became a little distant, a little hard to confide in, but I am proud of you. You easily could have disappeared into the bottle like all the men we’ve grown up with. You didn’t.”

“It’s different now,” Patrick said. “For three years, Robin was out there. I figured she would get over whatever was annoying her and she’d come home. And everything would be the way it was supposed to be. But I guess she didn’t love me as much I loved her.”

“That’s not fair,” Elizabeth protested.

“She moved on.” Patrick stood and grabbed his coat from the back of the chair. “I guess it’s my turn to do the same.”

He stalked out of the bar and she put her head in her hands. She wished she could tell him the truth about Robin, but it wasn’t her place. Instead, she was afraid her brother was only going to make everything worse.

Here I stand
Consumed with my surroundings
Just another day
Of everybody looking
I swore they’d never see me cry
You’ll never see me cry

– Everybody Knows, Dixie Chicks

December 29, 2005

Quartermaine Mansion: Parlor

Emily stopped in the doorway of the room, hesitating. The conversation she was going to have with her grandfather was one of the most important in her life and she hoped she was going to walk away with an outcome she could live with.

She hadn’t spoken to Nikolas since her exit at the Grille two days before. He hadn’t called and she’d gone out of her way to avoid him. She knew he was coming very close to issuing her an ultimatum and for the first time since he’d asked her to marry him, Emily knew she might actually have to choose.

“Grandfather?”

“Oh, hello, dear,” Edward said absently, glancing at her from the table near the terrace windows. He turned a page in the newspaper. “Have you seen this editorial about the upcoming election for school board? Bunch of pansies.”

Emily smiled faintly and sat at one of the adjacent chairs. “Can we talk? I mean…really talk?”

Edward peered over his newspaper and studied her face for a long moment. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Emily shrugged. “Maybe.”

He folded his newspaper and set it aside. “All right, my dear. What’s on your mind?”

Emily folded her hands on the table and took a deep breath. “I have been very patient with you about Nikolas and our engagement because I can sympathize with where you’re coming from.”

“If this is going to be about that reprobate—” Edward shoved his chair away from the table and started out of the room.

“Grandfather, please!” Emily stood. “When have I ever asked for anything?”

He stopped and turned back to her. “Haven’t I made my feelings about this subject very clear?”

“Yes,” Emily nodded. “You have. But you haven’t given me the same courtesy and I’m just asking you to listen to me.”

“Then talk,” he said shortly.

“I can understand how you feel about the Cassadines,” Emily said. “It’s so much easier for me to understand why you feel the way you do because this feud started with your brother. You have very real personal feelings about it and I—”

“I don’t want to talk about any of that.” Edward sliced his hand through the air. “It’s done, Emily. You know how I feel. You know the history. If you need anything else from me, well I can’t imagine what it is.”

“Grandfather…” Emily took a deep breath. “I know this isn’t an easy subject for you—”

“No, young lady, you do not know.” He took a step towards her and jabbed a finger in her direction. “I had to watch my brother spiral out of control over that woman and I had to be the one to find him, dead by his own hand. She broke his heart and did what her family wanted. It’s the Cassadines’ fault and that’s the end of it.”

“But why does that have to mean Nikolas is cut from the same cloth?” Emily pressed.

“Because he will do the same to you that Sofia Cassadine did to Thomas and I refuse to stand by and watch. Not again.” He nodded brusquely. “It’s already started. He’s come between you and your family, he’s pressed you to ignore your obligations to us and if he hasn’t issued any ultimatums, then it won’t be long before he does.”

“So if I marry Nikolas, I’m no longer welcome in this house,” Emily stated softly.

Edward closed his mouth abruptly. He looked away for a moment before meeting her gaze again. “If that’s how you want to put it, then yes.”

“Okay.” Emily swallowed hard. “I just…I wanted to make it clear to myself. Thank you.” She wrapped her arms around herself.

Edward looked at her as though he wanted to say something else but instead, he just left the room.

General Hospital: Locker Room

Elizabeth sighed and neatly folded her scrubs uniform to place it in her bag to take home for washing. She had worked a very long shift and wasn’t entirely looking forward to going home and dealing with her wayward cousin. She hadn’t seen much of her brother since the sojourn to Jake’s and she was worried enough for him.

Not to mention the fact that she hadn’t seen Jason since the day after Christmas. He’d warned her there would be no contact but after two years of seeing or talking to him every day, it was an adjustment not to have him to lean on.

One of the student nurses plopped onto the bench next to her and started to untie her sneakers. “Ellie, you’re going to the party at the hotel for New Year’s, right?” Nadine Crowell inquired.

“Every year,” Elizabeth replied. She closed her locker and looped her coat over her arm. “Why?”

“Well, this is the first time I’m going and I was wondering how dressy it is. I mean, I know it’s dressy but there’s like a code of dress – is it really conservative?”

“It runs to the conservative. The pillars of the community don’t like anything cut too low or too high and nothing really flashy.” Elizabeth hesitated and studied the younger woman with a little curiosity. “I don’t mean to pry, but ah, how is it that you’re going to the party?”

“You mean how am I affording the ticket?” Nadine said wryly. She tugged on her jeans. “Patrick asked me to be his date.”

“Oh, good Lord,” Elizabeth muttered and banged her head against the locker. “My brother is an idiot.”

“I’ll try not to take that as an insult,” Nadine said good-naturedly. “Look, Ellie, there’s not a person on staff here that thinks Patrick is a good bet relationship wise and I’m not interested in that anyway. Some of the board members from the hospital will be there and I just want a chance to schmooze. Robin has nothing to worry about from me—”

“No, I’m sorry. It’s not…it’s not like that. He’s trying to make her jealous for all the wrong reasons and he’s going to make everything worse in the long run.”

“Well…” Nadine shrugged. “Then I guess it’ll be an interesting party.” She grabbed her coat and purse. “Thanks for the advice, Ellie.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Robin stepped behind the counter and handed a chart to Epiphany. “Mrs. Kyle is ready for discharge in Room 220.” She paused for a moment when she saw Patrick at the other side the station.

She stepped towards him, putting her hands in her pockets. “Hey, do you have a minute?”

He glanced at her and then looked back at his charts. “No.”

A bit stung, Robin bit her lip but decided to forge ahead. Her mother was flying in that night and she didn’t want Patrick to be the last to know. “Patrick—”

“Robin, I’m a little busy right now,” Patrick said, “I don’t have time to talk to you about anything. We agreed three years ago to go our separate ways. You’ve clearly done that, now it’s my turn.”

“Fine,” she said shortly. She stripped off her lab coat and turned to Epiphany. “I’m done for the day, I’m on my way to the airport and I’m not on call for the night but if any of my patients need me…”

“I’ll take care of it, Dr. Scorpio,” Epiphany said.

Robin stepped out of the station and started for the elevators.

“Say hi to your boyfriend for me,” Patrick muttered, but didn’t bother to keep his voice low.

Robin stopped in her tracks and closed her eyes. It was clear Patrick assumed she was going to the airport to pick up Stone. She wasn’t angry at him, but angry at herself for making this situation into the mess it was now.

If she had been honest with everyone from the beginning, even if she had come clean the second she’d stepped off the plane, none of this would be happening now.

She regained her composure and went to the elevators.

Elm Street Pier

“Penny for your thoughts.”

Elizabeth glanced up as Lucky settled himself on the bench next to her. “Hey. What brings you out here?”

“Just wandering. Saw my best girl sitting by herself here.” He shrugged. “I know that you don’t sit here alone unless something’s on your mind.”

Elizabeth smiled faintly. “Noticed that did you?”

“Yep.” Lucky stretched his legs out in front of him and crossed them at the ankles. “So spill it, Ellie. What’s on your mind?”

“Robin told me about Stone,” Elizabeth replied. “And about her illness. So I know you knew.”

He nodded. “And I was sworn to secrecy. Not exactly the easiest thing to accomplish being around you and Patrick all the time, especially Patrick.” He grimaced. “She’s having trouble telling him.”

“She’s only managed to tell him that she fell in love with someone else and he flipped. He asked a nurse to the Quartermaine party.”

Lucky whistled softly. “Ballsy. That party is not the time and place to make a stand but I guess he’s not really thinking clearly. And I bet he thinks that Stone is alive and well and probably on his way to Port Charles.”

“That would be correct.” Elizabeth shook her head. “He’s acting like an asshole which is only going to make things worse in the long run. He won’t shut up and listen to Robin long enough to get the truth and as much as I want to shake him and make him listen, I can’t.” She shook her head. “There’s just way too much going on, especially now that Will has moved in.”

“Will.” Lucky nodded. “He’s, ah, doing all right?”

“As well as can be expected. He’s going through something rough with his parents but Patrick and I think we can get him back on track.” Elizabeth glanced at him. “Your sister broke his heart.”

“Well, he certainly left his mark on my little sister.” Lucky hesitated. “She’s pregnant.”

“Oh my…” Elizabeth blinked and stared out over the water. “Oh my God.”

“Yep.” Lucky shifted. “She’s scared to death, she almost had Dillon talked into claiming paternity but decided it wasn’t fair for Dad to kill him over something he didn’t do.”

“Naturally,” she said dryly. “Will’s a good kid, he’ll stand up.”

“Yeah, I know. She’s just got to get the courage up to tell him, or to keep trying until he shuts up long enough to listen to her. It’s like everyone in our lives is having the same problem. No one ever closes their mouth long enough to listen to anyone else.” He jerked a shoulder. “Anyway, I told her about what happened to us. Senior year.”

“I guess you would.” Elizabeth fell quiet. “Did it help her?”

“I’m not sure but it got me thinking…looking at how scared she is to tell Will…it made me glad that you were able to come to me.” He looked at her. “I know we didn’t work out, Ellie, mostly because we weren’t supposed to. It was just that normal first love thing and we burned ourselves out but I’m glad that we were able to share all that together and still come out with love and respect for each other. It doesn’t happen enough.”

“No, no it doesn’t.” She smiled. “We had a good time, Lucky. I’m almost glad we had that scare because we were just…we were so close to sliding into a future together because neither of us had ever seen anything else. We’d already been together for so long, it would have been easy to keep going on that road.”

“I’ve been thinking about that lately,” Lucky nodded. “And yeah, you’re right. We were very comfortable, Ellie. We probably would have been married right out of college, settled right down and probably have a few kids by now.”

“Probably,” she agreed. “And that wouldn’t have been a mistake, you know. It would have been nice, safe and comfortable.”

“But we both deserve more,” Lucky said. “And if I’m not wrong, I think you’ve found it in Jason. I’m glad. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, you know?

“I hope I have found it. It’s not that easy but nothing worthwhile ever comes from taking the easy way out, right?”

“Nope.” He grinned at her and bumped his shoulder against hers. “We coulda had it all, babe.”

She giggled. “And bored ourselves to tears in the process.”

On the top level of the docks, Jason Morgan stepped out from one of the buildings, returning from his meeting with Sonny. Trailing Manny Ruiz had not taken as long as either of them expected. Jason had found the youngest son meeting with a competitor the night before and Sonny had called him off the assignment.

He was on his way to Jake’s to clean up and call Elizabeth. He’d missed her so much and there wasn’t too much snow on the ground. They could go for a ride. He really just wanted to see her.

Jason heard her familiar laugh and glanced down at the bench to find Elizabeth giggling with Lucky Spencer. Something tightened in his chest, a sensation that was both familiar and strange at the same time. He knew she’d dated Lucky in high school but they’d had nothing but friendship since then.

But she was laughing with him, looking happy and for some reason Jason couldn’t quite name, that made him uncomfortable. He thought about making himself known but instead, he continued on his way. He’d call her tomorrow.

Spencer House: Porch

As soon as Lulu opened the door to find Will standing there, she blanched, glanced over her shoulder and quickly stepped out, pushing him back a step. She slammed the door behind her. “What are you doing here?”

Will frowned. “I needed to talk to you—” he stopped and narrowed his eyes. “Is there a reason we can’t go inside?”

“Um. Yes.” Lulu went to the window and sighed in relief when she saw her father sitting contritely on the couch with her mother lecturing him. When Luke had seen Will briefly at the door, he’d started towards the entryway with blood in his eyes, hence Lulu’s quick escape.

Her father had taken the news in stride mostly, quick to let her know that while she had his utmost support…the boy would have to die. Lulu had been trying to talk him out of it when Will had made his untimely appearance.

“Okay,” Will said slowly. “I wanted to apologize. You came to see me, you had something to say and I cut you off. That wasn’t fair and I should have heard you out.”

And now here was her chance. Except Lulu couldn’t wrench the words from her throat. How hard could it be? I’m pregnant. She could say it in her head. Why couldn’t she open her mouth and make the words come out?

“Lu?” Will prompted. He stripped off his suede jacket and draped it around her shoulders. “Are you okay?”

He was sober, Lulu could see. For the first time in months, he was completely sober. His eyes were clear and focused and he was starting to sound like the Will she’d fallen for. The one she’d had a crush on for most of her teen aged life. He’d always seemed so strong and able and she’d wanted that more than anything.

And then he’d been dangerous and exciting so she’d thought it was all her favorite things wrapped in a gorgeous package. Until he was drinking to dull the pain of his parents’ problems more than he was doing it to have fun and that no longer appealed to her.

But now that Will was gone. Or on hiatus. She wasn’t sure. In his place was the boy she’d known forever and just like that, her terror and apprehension melted.

“Will, I am so sorry,” she said softly. “I don’t know how to tell you and I was scared for so long but I ‘m not anymore.” She paused. “You’re really doing okay, aren’t you?”

“Getting there.” Will hesitated and tilted his head to the side. “But you’re not. What’s wrong?”

She swallowed hard. “I’m pregnant,” she said quietly.

Port Charles Hotel: Anna’s Room

Robin twisted her fingers together and refused to look at her mother. “Say something,” she murmured.

Anna Devane stood from the sofa and crossed to the terrace doors, sweeping her dark eyes over the harbor. “I’m not sure what there is to say, love.” Her accent slid over the words in a short, clipped manner. “I suppose your father took the news with his customary anger before settling down and promising you the moon and stars.”

“Something like that,” Robin said uneasily. “Mom…”

“For three years, I knew something was wrong with you,” Anna said, as if her daughter hadn’t spoken. “I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but there was a reason you were never available when I wanted to fly in and why you never had time for more than short phone calls and pithy postcards. I told myself that I had raised a bright and independent daughter who clearly wanted some space to herself.”

She turned and confronted the daughter in question. “I’m not sure what reaction you want from me, Robin. Should I be angry that you kept it from me? Should I be devastated for your loss? Scared for your future? Happy that you were able to find someone to love? I am all of those things, Robin. I just don’t know which one to concentrate on at this precise moment.”

“I know three years seems like a long time,” Robin said haltingly, “but it was all so fast to me. I was swept up by medical school and by Stone that by the time I realized I wanted to tell you guys, we were engaged. I thought I could fly to London and surprise you and then he got sick. I just…I could never find the words. And then I was just so wrapped up in Stone and his illness.” Her voice thickened. “I am so sorry, Mom, for what I’ve put everyone through. You and Dad, my friends. I would do anything to change it but I can’t.”

“I am terrified that despite everything your father and I have done to protect you from the evils of the world—his work with the police and mine with the government—we might lose you in a way that never really occurred to us.” Anna wrapped her long arms around her slim torso and Robin realized her shoulders were shaking.

“Mom…” She stood and took a step towards her mother.

“If you are ever blessed with a child, you may one day understand a portion of what is going on inside of me,” Anna continued. “You don’t realize how easy it is to go from anger to terror in a split second but when it comes to your children, you tend to spend a lot of time with those emotions. Of course, there is always happiness, and joy. Quite a lot of worry but I have spent most of the time being terrified.”

“I’m okay,” Robin assured her. “I’m on the cocktail, I’m relatively healthy. There are advancements being made all the time. My doctors can’t imagine why I wouldn’t live another fifty years.”

“I am desperately grateful for that.” Anna exhaled slowly and turned around. “I’m sorry to be such a drama queen, darling, it’s just not the easiest set of news for a mother to receive and for it to be such a large dose…it was almost a bit more than I could digest.”

“I wish I hadn’t put it off so long,” Robin admitted. “I’ve made a big mess out of everyone’s lives and I just hope I can make it right. In case…”

Anna sighed. “Oh darling, is that why you came home? So you could fix everyone in case the worst happens?”

“I guess. I wanted to make sure you and Dad were okay. That Patrick and Ellie were happy. That the people who mattered the most would be taken care of. I’m not expecting to die any time soon, Mom, but…” Robin shrugged. “I have to be prepared. Just in case.”

“Come here.” Anna drew her daughter into a bone crushing embrace. “You are forgiven for not telling me, love of my life, but promise me that you will never shut me out like this again?”

“I promise.”

You walk along by yourself
There’s no sound, nothing is changing
Been gone away, left you there
Emptiness is nothing you can’t share
All those words that hurt you
More than you would let it show
Comes apart, by yourself
– Falls Apart, Sugar Ray

December 31, 2005

Port Charles Hotel: Ballroom

Dillon dropped into the seat next to Lulu and popped a hors d’oeuvre in his mouth. “You know what I like best about the stuff they serve here?”

“What’s that?” she asked, smiling and leaning forward.

“I don’t care what’s in them. They usually taste good.” He leaned back and sipped a glass of the wine he’d snuck with Emily’s help. “So I haven’t heard from you much since you left my house the day after Christmas.”

“Yeah…sorry…” Lulu jerked a shoulder. “I’ve just been in my own head about things, you know? I told Will a few days ago and he was kind of…shell shocked.”

“I may have a few things in common with that sentiment.” He paused. “But what else did he say?”

“Oh, all the right things, of course. He said we’d keep the baby, we’d figure it all out. He would be there for me, we’d get married and somehow he’d still go to college. We’d still get everything we wanted.”

“You sound like you don’t believe him.”

“Well,” Lulu paused, as if considering the notion, “he said he would call me, that’d we discuss sitting down with my parents and talking about what would come next.” She took an olive from her plate and tossed it, aiming for an empty wine glass across from her table setting. “He never called.”

“I can beat him up for you,” Dillon said. At Lulu’s arched brow, he clarified. “I mean, I have money. I can pay someone to beat him up.”

“Thanks, but I’m not going to force him into anything. He’s still trying to figure himself out; he doesn’t need to be saddled down with a kid. I care about him too much to force him into this, Dillon.”

“I’m all for figuring things out and being honest with yourself, but, Lu, we both know what happens when a parent disappears without a word.” He tapped his fingers. “I never met my father and I’ve never even had a letter from him. It sucks. It sucks large.”

“I know, but we’ve seen the other side of the spectrum, too. How crappy is it when a kid knows they’re not wanted? My brother Nikolas knows that even though my mom loves him, she didn’t really want him, that when she looks at him, she can’t help but see Stavros. I mean, sure, she loves him but that’s because he’s her kid and she’s just built that way. But he wasn’t planned and my father was never a magical stepfather to him, you know? I can’t force that kind of life on my kid.”

“So you’re keeping the baby?” Dillon asked.

“Yeah.” Lulu smiled at him. “That’s, like, the only thing that’s really been solidified in my head. I know it’s early, and I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing with the rest of my life, but I think I’d be all right at being a mom. I had a great example. Plus, my parents are being really good about this. My mom just hugged me and told me that she’d always be there for me.”

“And your dad?”

“I think maybe he was disappointed,” Lulu admitted. “But mostly because he just wanted life to be easier for his kids than it was for him and my aunt Bobbie, so he’s worried that I’m going to have a hard life but he loves me anyway. I’ve got a good family, Dillon. It makes up for a lot of things.”

“Yeah, family’s good.” Dillon frowned and glanced over at the Quartermaine table. “Even when they’re bat shit crazy.”

Lulu glanced over her shoulder and pursed her lips, drinking in the members of Dillon’s clan. “Someone should tell AJ that it’s bad taste to finish a bottle of champagne in an hour. And why does Emily look so sad?”

“I don’t know,” Dillon murmured. “I think she had some kind of argument with Edward or Nikolas, but she’s not talking. I keep trying to pry it out of her but she’s not having it. And I think AJ’s about to be shipped off to rehab again.”

“Eighth time’s the charm?”

“One can always hope.” Dillon’s eyes darkened as he saw something over Lulu’s shoulder. “If you don’t want to see Will, then I can get you out of here.”

Lulu twisted in her chair to find Will at the entrance. The rest of the ballroom’s attendees paid more attention to the people he had arrived with – or to be accurate, the person. Elizabeth had her arm intertwined with Jason Morgan’s, who hadn’t been to this party since before his accident.

So one could say Jason Morgan had never attended at all.

Edward Quartermaine started to stand but his daughter-in-law Monica quickly told him to sit back down. Patrick Drake, who had arrived earlier with his date Nadine, looked furious.

Elizabeth ignored them all and smiled up at her date before whispering something to Will. She and Jason started towards her brother’s table but Patrick quite pointedly turned his back and started talking to someone at his table.

Elizabeth stopped in her tracks, mortified.

Suddenly feeling brave, Lulu stood and started across the room to the girl she’d known her entire life and had once dreamed would be her sister. “Ellie, you look absolutely fabulous tonight,” she said with a bright smile. “Jason, you should always wear a tux!”

“Hey, Ellie, Jase,” Dillon nodded, sidling up to his friend’s side. He lifted his chin. “Will.”

Will scratched the side of his nose. “Lu, you look really pretty tonight.”

“Thanks,” Lulu answered absently before extending a hand to Elizabeth. “Lucky’s running a little late tonight but we’ve got some seats at our table. Come and join us.” She looked to Dillon. “We’ve probably got a seat for you for dinner if you’d rather steer clear of the Quartermaine’s.”

“I almost want to say yes but I want to give Em some support.” Dillon kissed Lu’s cheek. He left her and went back to his seat next to his cousin.

“Let’s sit down,” Lulu said, waiting for the trio to start over to the table. She backed up a few steps and went straight to Patrick. She smacked him upside the head.

“Damn it, Lu,” he swore, rubbing his head. “What is with you?”

“We only get one family, you jackass, and you’re not exactly blessed with a multitude of friends. So why don’t you stop acting like an absolute asshole and start acting like a man?”

She flounced off to resume her seat.

“Crazy teenagers,” he muttered. Nadine, the nurse he’d asked on a whim, smiled sadly at him. “What?”

“She’s right, you know. Sisters do not wait around until you’re good and ready to make time for them.” She sipped her wine.

“What do you know?” he demanded. He took a piece of bread from the basket and ripped it in half. “My sister’s deranged.”

“Mine, too,” Nadine replied. “She’s in a coma right now but before that, she arranged for some people in the hospital she was working at to die accidentally.”

Patrick choked on his bread. “Excuse me?”

“She was being paid by this company to make the hospital look really bad so they’d have to be bought out but Jolene always was an overachiever.” Nadine sighed, seemingly oblivious to the stares of the people at their table. “She wasn’t supposed to kill anyone but she thought it would get the job done.”

“Ah…” Patrick fumbled.

“So, you know, some people would say she got what she deserved, getting shot in the back, but she was still my sister and I’d rather she be dating someone I didn’t really like than in a vegetative state.” Nadine shrugged and eyed the kitchen. “When do you think they’ll serve dinner?”

Port Charles Hotel: Balcony

“You’re avoiding me.”

Emily smiled and turned to the doorway to find her fiancé standing there. “When my grandfather remodeled the ballroom, he thought I was being ridiculous in suggesting a balcony that was closed in by glass but I told him that when it comes to parties like these, people like to think they’re getting away. But it’s too cold to stand outside.”

Nikolas joined her. “I’m sorry for our argument, Emily; I suppose I am getting frustrated with the state of things.”

“I know,” she answered. “I haven’t been fair to you.”

Something in her tone made his blood run cold and a strange feeling sank into him. He wasn’t entirely familiar with panic, but he thought that’s what this might be. “Emily.”

“I haven’t been fair to anyone. To you, to myself, or to my grandfather. Nikolas, you’re okay with Stefan moving back to Greece and I envy you that. Because I know somewhere in your head, you’ve made yourself believe that he’ll still love you. That he will still visit and he won’t cut you out. I don’t have that same kind of faith.”

“Wait a second, Emily—”

“I think it has to do with the Quartermaines having chosen to love me. They adopted me, and they made me part of the family. But I know I’m not truly a Quartermaine. I’ve been living on borrowed time with them, waiting for the moment they look at me and know that I’m not really one of them.”

Nikolas frowned. Now he wasn’t sure what was going on. Was she abandoning her family? Was she breaking up with him? “I’m not following you.”

“They have been so good to me, Nikolas. So patient. Even when I was a brat and they could have easily tossed me back, they kept me.” She paused. “My grandfather is the love of my life, Nikolas. He held me when I cried about my mom, he would sit with me and talk about his business even though I was twelve and didn’t understand a word of it. He treated me like his own from the moment I came to the Quartermaines. I am breaking his heart.”

And then he knew. “Emily, if you do this, you’re giving an old man exactly what he wants and you’re breaking your heart instead.” He swallowed hard. “My heart. How is that fair?”

“It’s not,” Emily admitted. “And I wish I could be selfish. I wish I could be stronger. But I’m not. I love my family too much to give them up.” She slowly removed the diamond ring from her finger and held it out. “I can’t marry you, Nikolas.”

He refused to take the ring. “This is insanity. You can’t do this.”

“I thought that if I tried hard enough, if I really worked at it, Edward would love you as much as I do. That he would accept you into his family, but I realize now that it will never happen and I can’t be happy knowing he’s not part of my life.” She held out the ring again.

“I’m not taking the damn ring.” He stepped back. “This is a mistake, Emily. You and I love each other and that’s not going to go away.”

“Nikolas—”

“I won’t let it,” he promised her. He turned and stalked back into the ballroom where he made a beeline for the Quartermaine table.

“Listen up, old man,” he all but snarled at the patriarch who sputtered in surprise. “You may have won for now but I am not going away. She can end the engagement but Emily still loves me and I love her and I’m not going to let you destroy us.” He slapped his hand on the table and then stormed out of the room.

Monica watched her daughter’s fiancé leave. She then turned to her father-in-law and just glared.

“I suppose you’re going to blame me for this,” Edward muttered.

“Edward, you are going to find my daughter, you are going to fix what you have done and I swear by all that is holy, if you fail, you will be living in this hotel for the rest of your life.”

“Monica, you can’t kick my father out of the house,” Alan admonished. “Not over a Cassadine.”

“It’s my house,” she declared.

“But I gave it to you!”

“Oh, will somebody save me?” Dillon moaned and put his head in his hands.

Across the room, Elizabeth checked the time on her cell phone. “I wonder what’s keeping my father,” she said.

“Maybe he’s at the hospital,” Lucky suggested. “Is he on call?”

“I don’t think so, I didn’t see his name.” Elizabeth sighed. “I just haven’t seen him since he and Patrick argued on Christmas and I’m worried. I hate when they fight.”

“I think Patrick’s an ass,” Lulu grumbled, pushing what was left of her entrée around her plate and ignoring her ex-boyfriend across the table. Where was Dillon when she needed him?

“He’s just mad because you’re not doing what he wants you to,” Jason said. “Don’t you remember when he wanted you to share an apartment with him and Robin after high school and you kept telling him no? He didn’t talk to you for a week.”

Elizabeth blinked at him. “I remember that,” she said softly. “But…”

“How do you?” Lucky finished. “That was…you know…Jay Quartermaine’s time.”

Jason’s lips thinned and he shrugged, a little uncomfortable. “I don’t know. Sometimes things just….they’re just in my head.” He glanced up from his plate to find the stares of everyone directly on him. “I’m not getting my memory back,” he said flatly. “I just get…flashes. Okay?”

“Right.” Elizabeth glanced at her cell phone again. “I’m just going to step out and call him, okay? Just to make sure.”

“I’ll go with you,” Jason offered, eager to be away from the stares. He followed Elizabeth into the foyer.

Lucky shifted, feeling somewhat uncomfortable being left with Will and Lulu. Part of him wanted to choke the crap out of the younger man and the rest of him wanted to leave them alone, in hopes that it might force some kind of confrontation.

He opted for the responsible adult rather than the annoyed brother. “Lu, I’m going to go check in with Patrick. He’s got a really cute nurse with him I’d like to get to know.” He stood and made his escape before his sister could stop him.

The two were silent for a while but finally Lulu couldn’t take it anymore. “You didn’t call,” she stated. “Did you change your mind?”

“No,” Will said. He shook his head. “I didn’t…I’ve been…I don’t really have an excuse, Lu. I was just kind of figuring things out.”

“That’s fine,” she said dully. “I imagine you’re trained to say the right thing without thinking about it. Don’t worry, I don’t hold you to anything.”

“I meant what I said,” Will replied, irritated. “I just…I had to deal with what that meant. Look, I wanted to have some answers the next time we talked, to have some ideas. A kid needs more than promises.”

“Oh, and what? Now you have all the answers?” Lulu asked, feeling nasty. “Lucky me.”

“I’m not going to let you piss me off,” Will said. “I went to the hospital to talk to one of Ellie’s friends. She’s a counselor. I wanted to get my head on straight. And then I talked to a college counselor to find out if I could still get in next fall.”

“Oh.” Lulu hesitated. “I’m sorry. I know how much you wanted to go college…before. So I just wanted to you know that I was serious about not…I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything—”

“I wanted to make sure that any scholarships I get won’t be taken away if I’m going part-time,” Will continued. “Because I also had an interview at the hospital as an orderly. They have great health insurance. I figure I’m a Drake, I’m a shoo in. Ellie said she’d try to pull some strings.”

“I…” she stopped. “Will, I’m just…you’re serious about all of this?”

“Look, I know you think I’m a bad bet because my dad walked out and my mom has lost it, but I’m going to be okay. Plenty of people get through college and med school with kids, you know? It’ll be hard but there’s no reason why we can’t do it. Ellie’s volunteered to baby-sit and I bet your mom will, too.”

She blinked. “Um, yeah.”

“So, when we sit down to talk to your parents about this, I’m thinking Luke will be less likely to kill me because I have a plan to support you. Or I will after I graduate. I can only work part-time until then. It’d be stupid to drop out of school when I only have a semester left. I’ve got money saved we can use for the hospital stuff…”

“I’m still on my parents’ insurance until I get out of school.” Lulu moved over to the empty seat next to him. “I don’t need you to support me, Will. I’m going to work, too. I have some money saved. But…” she bit her lip and smiled at him. “Thank you for wanting to. I never expected you to have all the answers, but it’s nice to know you have some of them.”

He took her hand between both of his and squeezed. “I’m not my father. I don’t have to make the same mistakes. It’s going to be okay.”

“I almost believe that.” Lulu sighed and rested her head on Will’s shoulder. It was so nice to have solid and stable Will Drake back. He was the boy she’d fallen for in the first place.

Port Charles Hotel: Outside Balcony

“You’re going to freeze out here.”

Robin blew out a frustrated breath and didn’t even bother to turn around. “I’m fine. Go back inside.”

Patrick stripped off his suit jacket and placed it over her bare shoulders. “I noticed you came in with your parents. Alone.”

“Patrick, I’m not really in the mood for this,” she sighed. “Why don’t you go back to humiliating your sister? You’re getting really good at it.”

He hunched his shoulders, wishing he could defend that but knew he couldn’t. “Ellie and I are just fine,” he replied shortly. “We’ll be fine long after you disappear again. I don’t need you to tell me how to treat her.”

“I guess we’re back to that.” Robin shook her head. She closed her eyes. “We still have to talk about a few things. I think you really need to listen to me—”

“I’m done listening to you,” Patrick interrupted. He sliced a hand in the air. “Done! You come back, pretend you care, go around acting like you’re sorry for what happened but it was all a lie, Robin. You just wanted to make yourself feel better for going away and finding something better. Well, I hope you go back to your something better and choke on it—”

“He’s dead!” Robin cried. She whirled around and hurled his jacket at him. “God damn it, Patrick, he’s fucking dead! He died!”

He caught the jacket, his face pale, his eyes wide. “What are you talking about?”

“He died just before Christmas last year.” Robin dragged her hands through her hair. “That’s what I wanted to tell you. Not that I had met someone, that I had become engaged, I wouldn’t…God, Patrick.” She swallowed hard. “He was sick. Stone had AIDS and he died.”

“Jesus Christ.” His jacket fell to the ground and he staggered back. He thought of the things he had said—those he’d said the day he found out and what he had said in the interim. What he had said just moments ago.

He felt sick.

“Robin, I—” And then something slammed into place so fast he almost retched. Her behavior since she had returned and her reaction to the cut on her finger after she’d broken some glass in the lab. The way her beeper went off at the same time every morning they started their shift.

“Oh, God.” There were spots in front of his eyes. “Oh, God. You…” He shoved his fist in his mouth and bit down, turning away from her.

“Patrick,” she said softly. She stepped forward and reached out. “It’s okay—”

“Are you kidding me?” he demanded. “Okay? You…you’re sick. You have…” He couldn’t bring himself to say it. “Oh, God,” he repeated.

“I came home because I wanted to be sure everything was okay for you,” Robin said, “for you and Ellie, and Emily and Lucky. I wanted to know that you guys were happy.”

“Happy?” he echoed. “You’re going to die and you want to make sure I’m happy?”

“I’m not—” Robin closed her mouth as he kicked a chair. It flew across the balcony and hit the stone wall. “Patrick—”

“My mother wasted away from cancer,” Patrick bit out. He kicked another chair. “My father tried to kill himself with alcohol.” Yet another went flying. “My best friend had his brains scrambled.” He overturned the table. “And the girl I’ve loved my entire life went away and when she finally comes back, it’s to die.” He sank to his knees and stared blindly at the stone ground. “I have been horrible to you.”

Robin slowly sank to the ground in front of him. “Patrick, I don’t blame you. For any of it. I knew you were upset, angry and hurt. I know you didn’t mean any of it.”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” he choked. “I am an awful brother, I’m a terrible friend and—” He couldn’t speak anymore.

“You have to let me tell you everything,” she said. She touched his shoulder with one hand and with the other, she caressed his cheek. “You have to let me explain so you understand.”

The balcony doors flew open and Elizabeth stumbled out, Jason on her heels. Her gaze took in the destruction of the scene and her brother on the ground. Her eyes softened. “Patrick.”

He turned and saw her and scrambled to his feet. “Ellie. You have to let me fix this.” He started towards her and then stopped, seeing the tear tracks on her cheeks. “I made you cry?”

“What?” She touched her cheek absently. “No, no. This is—the hospital called.” She hesitated. “There was an accident. Dad.”

Patrick froze. “Is he…?” he couldn’t finish.

“I don’t know,” Elizabeth answered. She bit her lip. “After the hospital called, your dad came to get me.” She directed this to Robin.

“My dad?” Robin repeated. “Why?”

“Because he hit someone else,” Elizabeth whispered. She brought a hand to her mouth. “They said he lost control and slammed into another car.” She stopped. “Patrick, there’s more.”

“They think he was drinking,” Patrick finished roughly. “That’s the more. He was drunk out of his mind and lost control.”

No one but me can save myself, but it’s too late
Now I can’t think, think why I should even try
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye
– Fade to Black, Metallica

December 31, 2005

General Hospital: Waiting Room

“He took a curve too fast,” Robert Scorpio murmured softly to the Drake twins. “There was a car coming around the bend, he clipped right into them and sent both their cars flying. I haven’t seen any photos of the scene yet but I’m told it’s a miracle anyone got out.”

Patrick wrapped his arm around his sister and drew her close to his side. “Are they sure alcohol was involved?” he asked reluctantly, though in his heart he knew the answer.

“They were not able to administer any kind of tests on the scene,” Robert informed them, “and the blood tests aren’t back yet, but apparently there were some open containers in his car. From the speed he was traveling, it’s just an assumption at this point. Given your father’s history and previous charges…”

“I don’t doubt you, Commissioner,” Elizabeth said quietly. “You wouldn’t accuse him unless you were sure.”

“I’m sorry about this, Patrick, Ellie…” Robert shook his head. “I know you wanted to believe he was sober…we’re going to have to charge him.”

“I understand,” Elizabeth nodded. “Can you tell us if the people in the other car are all right?” she asked.

“I can’t give you any specifics but they’re alive. I understand they’re in surgery.” He patted her shoulder and shook Patrick’s free hand. “I’ll be in touch when I know more, kids.” He touched his daughter’s shoulder on the way out.

Emily and Robin came over to the pair immediately. “Let’s get you out of this dress,” Robin suggested.

“Yeah, we’ll get changed,” Emily said. They led Elizabeth towards the locker room.

Patrick was left in the waiting room with Jason. Lucky had offered to come along, but Patrick had refused. He’d wanted to be alone with his thoughts, with his misery. Instead, he was left with this stranger who wore his best friend’s face.

He stalked across the room and dropped into one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. “This entire night has been a disaster,” he muttered.

Jason lowered himself into a chair across Patrick and was silent for a long moment. Finally, he cleared his throat. “I remember, I think I do anyway, sitting in this room when your mom died.”

Patrick snapped his head up and stared. “What?”

“I get flashes sometimes,” Jason admitted. “More now than I did before. They said I might get pieces back eventually but it was a long shot.”

“Frontal lobe injuries almost never heal completely,” Patrick murmured. “Most people never get more than a flash.”

“I don’t know about that but I get them sometimes, more when I’m sitting in the same place as when something else happened. Like your mom,” Jason shifted. “She came in because she couldn’t breathe, right? And I think…” he paused. “We left the room because your dad wanted to be alone with her.”

“Yeah,” Patrick said thickly. “Ellie was crying and you…you were comforting her. Robin was sitting here, next to me. My dad came out and…” he shook his head. “This is unreal.”

“I didn’t know that we were friends…before,” Jason said slowly. “I’m sorry. Elizabeth told me a few weeks ago. I guess it was hard for her.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I’m sorry about your dad, too. I seem to remember this from before, too. Not the first accident, but we bailed him out of jail once right?”

“Yeah, about six months after my mom died.” Patrick stood and crossed the window. It had been three years since he’d spoken to his best friend and to have Jason Morgan sitting in this room, remembering things that had happened to Jay, it was almost more than he could take. “It was like a week before your accident.” He laughed harshly. “Fucking car accidents.”

Jason wasn’t sure if he should say something else, even if he could have thought of something to add. Since he’d returned from his assignment, something in his brain had changed. Like a switch had been flipped. There were no memories, nothing to attach to certain sensations but he knew what Elizabeth had told him about Jay and Patrick’s friendship was true and he felt an obligation to stay here, to make sure Patrick was okay.

Robin stepped back into the waiting room. “Ellie’s in the cafeteria with Em,” she told him. “Could you give me a second with Patrick?”

“Sure.” Jason pushed himself to his feet. “Is she okay?”

“She’ll feel better when you’re there,” Robin replied. When he exited, she slowly approached her ex-boyfriend. “Patrick.”

“I think you’d be better off with Ellie,” he said roughly. “I’m not in the mood.”

“I’ll go in a minute,” she replied. “But I just…I know you’ve got a lot weighing on you right now and I think I can take a bit of it away.” She joined him at the window. “The conclusion you came to tonight…that I’m sick…it’s not entirely untrue but it’s not the whole truth.”

“Robin,” he shook his head.

“Please, I’ve made things so much worse by trying to protect you,” she said softly. “Let me finish. For once.” When he said nothing else, she continued, “I have HIV, though. Not AIDS. I was lucky, I ended up on a cocktail that works and as long as that holds true, the doctors don’t know why I shouldn’t live another fifty or sixty years. I didn’t come home to die, Patrick, I just came home.”

He was silent for a long time. “The things I said since you tried to tell me,” he said slowly. “I didn’t mean them. I just…I wanted to hurt you.”

“I know that,” she nodded. “And I knew they were partly my fault for not being honest, for not telling anyone.” She rubbed her hands up and down his arms. “I can forgive you if you can forgive me. I want to be friends again, Patrick. Please.”

“That’s the thing,” he raised his dark eyes to meet hers. “We were never just friends. Not since we were old enough to know the difference. I woke up one day and realized that you were a girl and since then, I could never be just friends with you.”

Robin sighed. “Why do you have to make everything so difficult?”

“I guess it’s my lot in life.” He braced a shoulder against the window. “But you want to be just friends. So, it’s okay. We can be friends. I wish I could say that if you wake up one day and change your mind, I’ll be there, but…” he pressed his lips together and looked away.

“No,” she shook her head. “You deserve better than that. I want you to move on and find someone, okay? Or at least just move on.”

He shrugged. “We’ll see. I have to figure out what I’m going to do about Ellie and my dad before I worry about my love life.” Patrick hesitated. “For what it’s worth, I am relieved that you’re, you know, okay. And I guess…if you were able to find something in someone else that made you happy, then I guess I’m glad about that.”

“You guess?” Robin said wryly.

“I’m not going to change overnight,” he replied with a weak smile.

“Ah, Patrick?”

The two turned to find Nadine Crowell standing awkwardly in the door. She had joined the entourage to the hospital after being paged to join the trauma team. The pretty blonde twisted her fingers together. “Your dad’s out of surgery. Dr. Jones sent me to get you and Ellie.”

“I think she’s still down in the cafeteria with Em and Jason.” Robin patted his shoulder. “I’ll go get her.” She smiled at Nadine and left the room.

Patrick scratched the back of his neck. “I’m, ah, sorry about tonight. I don’t know if I gave you the impression that it was, um—”

Nadine held up a hand. “Relax, not only did I know it was platonic but I think my boyfriend might have an issue with me going out with you as anything else.”

He frowned. “You have a boyfriend?”

“Sure. And I told him that if I wanted to get hired at GH rather than temping and stay in Port Charles, then I’d have to kiss up to the board of directors. So I kind of used you,” Nadine admitted. She gestured towards him. “But you used me to make Robin jealous so I guess that makes us even.”

“I, ah, guess so.” He cleared his throat. “So, my dad?”

General Hospital: Cafeteria

Elizabeth was sitting alone, nursing a cup of tea when Jason found her. She saw him enter and immediately stood to wrap her arms around him. “I’m so glad you’re here tonight.”

He put his arms around her shoulders and held on tight. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you found out about Robin. Sonny said you were upset.”

“It’s fine,” she said, her words muffled by his shirt. “I’m just glad I don’t have to lean on Sonny again.” She pulled away to look at him. “Not that he wasn’t absolutely wonderful. He was and you’ve picked a good man to work for. I just wanted him to be you.” Elizabeth shook her head. “Never mind, I’m just upset and I don’t mean to make you feel bad.”

But he did feel bad. They had only begun exploring what could happen between them and he’d disappeared on her. She didn’t deserve that and no matter how much Jason knew she’d hold herself together to be strong for him, she shouldn’t have to. He wasn’t going to tell her tonight, but he’d decided to tell Sonny that he wanted to go back to working in the warehouse. The respect and opportunity Sonny had offered him was tempting but it wasn’t worth the price.

“I know you’re upset about your dad,” Jason said. He rubbed her back in soothing circles. “Did you think he might be drinking again?”

“No,” Elizabeth said, her voice trembling. “No, I never—the smell wasn’t on him and Coleman never called for me to pick him up anymore. He said he was sober and I believed him.” She gripped the sides of his white shirt. “How could he do this to me again?” she whispered. “I can’t keep putting the pieces together if he’s just going to keep breaking them apart. I don’t—I can’t go through this again.”

“You didn’t talk about it a lot the first time around,” Jason said. “Other than the times you picked up your father, I almost didn’t know what was going on.”

“I didn’t want to bother you with my family problems,” she admitted. “You were dealing with your own stuff and I just…” she bit her lip.  “I wanted something that wasn’t touched by my mother’s death, my father’s drinking and my brother. I wanted something separate. Your friendship was—it is—-so important to me. That’s still true even though we’re more now.”

“Things are different now,” Jason told her. “You’re not going to be on your own this time.” He smoothed his hands down her arms and took her hands in his. “Promise me you’ll lean on me.”

“You’ll get sick of me,” she warned with a watery smile.

“Not possible.” He leaned in and kissed her forehead. “It’s going to be okay. If your dad needs rehab, we’ll get him into rehab. If he won’t go, then we’ll deal with that. I know you’ve been alone since your mom died but it’s not going to be like that anymore.” When she didn’t answer, he frowned. “Promise me, Elizabeth.”

“I promise,” she whispered.

“Hey, you two,” Robin said with a tired smile. “What happened to Emily?”

“She got a phone call from her grandfather and had to take care of something with her family,” Elizabeth answered. She hesitated. “Are you and Patrick okay?”

“As okay as we’re going to be tonight. Noah’s out of surgery and Dr. Jones wants to meet with you and Patrick,” she told Elizabeth. She glanced at the clock and smiled weakly. “Midnight came and went.”

“What a way to bring in the New Year,” Elizabeth murmured. “Not at all how I planned it.”

January 1, 2006

Quartermaine Mansion: Parlor

Emily scrubbed at her eyes as she entered the room. “You wanted to talk to me?” she asked.

Edward stood and set aside the business section he’d been pretending to read. “Yes, my dear. How are Patrick and Elizabeth?”

“Holding up,” Emily folded her arms under her chest and yawned. “I’m kind of tired, Grandfather. What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Your mother is concerned,” he said. “She seems to think that I have done something to make you unhappy and wasn’t very subtle with her threats about what would happen if I didn’t fix it.” He paused. “The Cassadine boy came by the table and said a few things that led us to believe that you two had had a falling out.”

“I wanted to return his ring,” she said quietly. “He didn’t take the news well.”

“I hadn’t realized you’d decided to break off the engagement,” Edward replied. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

Emily stared at him for a long moment, her eyes tired from more than just sitting in a party dress at a hospital. She was exhausted through and through. She was tired of playing this game with her family and with Nikolas. “I wish I could believe that you meant that. I wish I could believe that you put my happiness above your own personal feelings but we both know the truth, Grandfather. What you’re sorry about is that I’m unhappy. I didn’t get this way myself, you know. You made it clear that I could have my family or I could have Nikolas.” She tucked a piece of hair behind her hear. “I chose you.”

“Emily…”

“I’m sure there are going to be moments when I feel like I made a mistake,” she continued slowly. “But I guess I know that it would have been a mistake to marry him if it meant losing my family. I would have resented him sooner or later and our love would have turned to hatred. I couldn’t do that to either of us, because what we had was too precious to tarnish that way.”

“I never meant for you…” Edward stopped because he couldn’t finish that. Of course he had meant for Emily to break it off with the boy. In his head, he’d been sure it was the right decision but seeing the very real unhappiness on his little girl’s face, he wondered if he’d been wrong.

“I’m going to go to bed now, Grandfather,” Emily said. She turned and disappeared back into the foyer.

“I never meant for you to be unhappy,” he murmured.

General Hospital: Noah Drake’s Room

Noah’s eyes flickered and then opened. A soft groan escaped his lips. “What’s going on?” he murmured.

“You’re in the hospital,” Patrick said roughly, coming out of the shadows of the room and resting his hand on the metal bar of the hospital bed. “You were in the car accident.”

“What?” Noah shook his head. “No. I—where’s Mattie?”

Patrick exhaled slowly. “It’s January 1, 2006, Dad. Mom’s been gone for three and a half years.”

“I don’t…” Noah licked his lips. “I don’t feel any pain.”

“Because you’re on some pain medication,” Patrick answered. “So you can’t feel the broken arm and the shattered leg. But you know what else is numbing that?” He didn’t wait for his father’s answer. “The alcohol in your blood, which was three times the legal limit. You were drinking and you got in a car.”

“I don’t understand…” Noah blinked. “I just…I had a drink but I promised Ellie I’d meet her. Where’s Mattie?” he asked again.

“There’s no use talking to you,” Patrick muttered. “I’ll be back in the morning, when you’re a bit clearer.”

“Patrick…” his father called after him but Patrick ignored him and left the room. He wasn’t the soft touch his sister was. Maybe Ellie could sit by and watch their dad drink himself to death, but he wasn’t about to sign up for another front row seat.

Harborview Towers: Penthouse 4

“I wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Sonny remarked, rising from his seat next to Brenda. “I saw on the news this morning that Elizabeth’s father was in an accident. I thought you’d be with her.”

Jason nodded. “I went to my room to shower and change but I’m on my way back there.”

He shuffled his feet. “I don’t know if you want to have this discussion with Brenda here but…”

The slim brunette smiled and stood. “I’ll just be in the kitchen, making some coffee.”

“Be careful with that machine,” Sonny warned, watching his wife enter his beloved kitchen and trying not to imagine the mischief she could create. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know.” Jason shoved his hands into his leather jacket pockets, nervous. “It depends on how you take this. I might be too late and I’ll understand if that’s true but if it’s not, I think I need to go back to just working in the warehouse.”

Sonny nodded slowly. “Is this something Elizabeth asked of you?” he asked, curiously.

“No and she doesn’t know I’m here.” Jason hesitated. “The job is tempting because I know I’d be good at it and I am honored that you would trust me with so little experience but being away these last few days made me understand that I can’t do it. Elizabeth needed me here and maybe it wasn’t really an emergency, but she’s spent enough time dealing with things on her own and I’m not going to let her do it anymore. She’s part of my life, Sonny and I have to put her first.”

“I had a feeling that you might come back and say this to me,” Sonny replied. “You’re right, it’s not that Elizabeth can’t handle it but that you don’t feel that she should have to and that’s true. It’s very noble of you to give up something you want for her well being but I’ve spoken a little with her about this and she would not agree with what you’re doing here.”

“Maybe,” Jason allowed, “but I would explain that it was my choice and that that wasn’t just doing it for her, that I was doing it for me. Elizabeth is important to me, Sonny. She might decide in six months or a year that she won’t put up with the limitations and that’s a risk I’m not prepared to take. This is your way of life, and I respect that, but it’s just a job to me and I can find another job.”

“Okay,” Sonny said after a moment. “I can accept that and I also respect it. You know I like Elizabeth, I always have. Whatever happens, I hope you know that we are friends first.”

“I’m glad.” Jason paused. “I have to go back to the hospital to be with Elizabeth. Sonny, if you need me, you can come to me. I just can’t do the jobs that will take me away from her without contact. Anything else is fine.”

“We can work around that and we can do it later. You go be with your girl and take care of her.”

How many of you people out there
Been hurt in some kind of love affair
And how many times do you swear that you’ll never love again?
How many lonely, sleepless nights
How many lies, how many fights
And why would you want to put yourself through all that again

– Brand New Day, Sting

January 2, 2006

Spencer House: Front Porch

It was nearly ten minutes from the time Will rang the doorbell to the time the door swung open and a grim Luke Spencer stood in front of him. If not for the rustling and low voices inside, he might have thought no one was home.

“My wife and my daughter made me promise I can’t shoot you,” Luke informed the teen unhappily.

Will nodded. “I appreciate that, sir.”

Luke leaned down and lowered his voice. “But there are other ways to kill a man,” he growled.

“Dad!” Lulu yanked on his arm. “Stop it! You promised Mom you’d behave.”

“Within reason,” Luke grumbled. But he stepped back and Will entered, doing his best to keep out of striking distance.

Luke sat next to his wife on the sofa and Lulu gestured for Will to sit in the armchair. Once everyone was settled, though Luke almost put up a fight about Lulu perching on the arm of Will’s chair, Will cleared his throat. “Um, first, I just want to thank you and Mrs. Spencer for being supportive of Lulu before I was told. I know I didn’t make it easy for her to fill me in, so I just wanted to thank you.”

“She’s our daughter,” Luke said gruffly.

“Right.” He hesitated. “Um. So Lu and I have talked a lot about what we want to do. We talked for a long time yesterday and I think we’ve got a few plans in mind. Lu thought, and I agreed, that it’s something we should discuss with you.”

Lulu put a supportive hand on his shoulder, knowing that her father was not the easiest man to communicate with. “We agreed that neither one of us is going to drop out of school, obviously. We’re both six months from graduating and Will’s wanted to be a doctor his whole life. I think we can work together to make sure that doesn’t have to change.”

“Of course,” Laura said. “It would be counterproductive for you to drop out so close to completion and college is definitely something we want you two to consider, right?” She prodded her husband.

“Right, right,” Luke said hastily. “I never went but it did well for Laura here and I know there are doors that are open to Lucky that wouldn’t have been without college, regardless of his talent with electronics.” He stroked his chin. “But I guess what I’d like to get some answers for is the behavior you’ve exhibited over the last year.”

“You mean am I still drinking and will I end up like my father and uncle?” Will clarified. “I stopped drinking before Lu told me about the baby. I’m staying with my cousins because my mom and I are having issues. I’m seeing a counselor to keep me on the right track.”

“So what will you do about college next year?” Luke asked. “How will you manage to juggle the kid, a job and school?”

“Well, I’ve got a full scholarship to PCU,” Will said. “That was in place before my grades took a little nosedive but I talked to a college counselor and she seemed to think that as long as I keep a clean record for the second semester, I should be okay. She’s checking to find out if I can keep the scholarship but only go part time so that I can work full time as an orderly at GH. They’ve got great medical benefits.”

“Well…” Laura drew out slowly, “I certainly commend you for thinking that far in advance regarding health insurance. It’s all very expensive. Luke and I have discussed it and we have decided to pay for Lulu’s care, up to and including the birth. We also will not accept any repayment from either of you.”

Lulu blinked. “Mom, I told you I wanted to help—”

Luke held up a hand. “Now, gumdrop, your mother and I are in complete agreement. Kids are expensive and I don’t want you to have the added medical bills to stress you out. Life is hard enough without starting it with debts. We’re going to pay for it and I’d like it if you continued to live here, Lulu, for the foreseeable future.”

Will coughed. “I, ah, have enough saved for us to get an apartment,” he said. “It wouldn’t be anything grand—”

“I think what Will is trying to say is that he wants to be involved as much as possible,” Laura said, “and what Luke was supposed to say is that we’d like you to come stay here, Will. In Lucky’s room.”

“Where’s Lucky going?” Lulu asked, surprised. “Because I thought we were going to use the extra room for the baby—”

“I couldn’t ask you to—” Will said simultaneously.

“Lucky’s been staying above the club a lot and he decided that it was time for him to move out.” Luke looked at the boy that had impregnated his daughter. “I know you’re going through a tough time with your parents and we Spencers tend to stick together. I may not be thrilled with the situation you and my daughter have put yourselves in, but I’m going to do whatever I need to do to help you two out. Spencers take care of each other.”

General Hospital: Waiting Room

Elizabeth was curled up in one of the uncomfortable chairs, staring at a speck of dust across the floor. She didn’t register Jason exiting the elevator doors and didn’t notice him until he set a Styrofoam container on the table in front her.

“I thought you might be tired of hospital food,” he said when she focused on him. “I think Robin’s bringing you and Patrick a change of clothes later.”

“Oh.” She blinked and sat up. “Thanks.”

He took the seat next to her. “Have you been in to see your father yet?”

“No.” Elizabeth uncapped the iced tea and took a small sip. “I keep going to the doorway but I can’t go in. Patrick’s been in and out. He doesn’t stay long.” She set the iced tea back on the table and rubbed her eyes. “He says Dad’s mostly still out of it, from the drugs they give him.”

“Do you know anything else about the accident?” Jason asked. He removed his leather jacket and set it on the seat next to him.

“Commissioner Scorpio was here this morning,” Elizabeth murmured. She stared straight ahead. “He was finally able to release some more of the details. Dad’s blood alcohol level was twice the legal limit. He took a turn too fast and ended up in the other lane. He struck the other car head on. A woman and her little—” Elizabeth closed her eyes, her voice broke. “Her little girl. They were coming home from a party.”

“Elizabeth…”

“The mother made it through surgery but she’s still in the ICU. But the little girl?” Elizabeth shook her head. “Died on the table.”

Jason exhaled slowly. “I…I’m sorry.”

“She was seven. Just seven years old. She didn’t deserve this end,” she said softly. “I sat in a hospital room like this just a year ago. My father swore that he had taken his last drink. He promised me that things were going to be different.” She looked at him then. “Nothing is different. My father is an alcoholic. My brother and I are only speaking because we have to but we’re further apart than we’ve ever been. I thought I put this family back together but…” She sucked in a breath. “It’s in pieces and now a little girl is…” Elizabeth broke then, tears spilling down her cheeks.

Jason shifted in the chair and drew her into his arms, holding her tight as her shoulders heaved. “What can I do?” he asked.

“There’s nothing,” she choked out. “Nothing is going to bring my mother back. Nothing is going to make my father stop drinking and nothing is going to turn back time so that little girl can grow up. Nothing is going to make this okay!”

Robert Scorpio appeared at the doorway of the waiting room, a morose Patrick just behind him. “I’m so sorry, Elizabeth,” he murmured.

At his voice, she jerked out of Jason’s arms and stood. She started to wipe her eyes frantically. “I’m okay. I am. I just…I’m fine.”

“Ellie…” Patrick pushed pass the police commissioner and took her hand. “Ellie, Commissioner Scorpio’s here to talk to us about Dad.”

“You mean he’s here to arrest him,” Elizabeth whispered. Jason put a hand on her shoulder.

“I wish there was something I could do,” Robert said. “But there isn’t any room to maneuver. I’m going to read him his rights and then place someone on the door. You can still visit him as much as you like, I wouldn’t prohibit that and due to his injuries, you’re going to want to get him an attorney to arrange bail and an arraignment as soon as possible.”

“What are you charging him with?” Patrick asked.

“Right now, vehicular manslaughter,” Robert said. “I’m sure the charges will be changed or reduced at some point, but the evidence…”

“Because Dad has a clear history of driving under the influence, has already been in an accident under these circumstances,” Elizabeth finished. “So basically, because he knew the consequences of getting into that car with alcohol in his blood, it proves negligence.”

“Essentially,” Robert confirmed. He hesitated. “I wish there was something I could do for you, Ellie.” He glanced at Patrick. “For the both of you. To ease this somehow.”

“No,” Elizabeth shook her head. “No, Commissioner, you have always been good to us and I appreciate everything you’ve tried to do but that little girl and her mother—they have to come first. Their family. Not ours.” She wrapped her arms around her torso. “Patrick and I can look out for ourselves.”

“Regardless.” Robert cleared his throat. “I’ll go place the officer now. Take care of yourselves.” He touched Elizabeth’s shoulder. “Let me know if I can do anything.”

He left the room and Patrick exhaled slowly. “I don’t really know who to call,” he admitted. “I don’t even know if I want to get involved.”

“He’s still our father,” Elizabeth replied. “We can’t just abandon him.”

“Why not?” Patrick demanded. “He abandoned us. He lied to us for a year, Ellie. He swore he was sober and that it was all behind him. Instead, he’s been drinking in secret. I went to his apartment yesterday and I tore it apart. I found liquor hidden in nearly every cabinet!”

“No, that can’t be true,” Elizabeth argued. “The other night was an aberration, I’m sure he stopped. We would have known, Patrick!”

“Wake up, Elizabeth!” Patrick shot back. “Our father never stopped drinking. He just got better at hiding it! Maybe you want to throw yourself into his defense and get him off the hook but I’m sick of this! I’m sick of everyone looking at me, wondering when I’m going to crack up and start drinking too!”

He threw his hands up and stalked out of the room. Elizabeth closed her eyes. “I’m not stupid, am I?” she asked softly. “I’m not naïve in hoping I can help my father?”

“I think you’re upset,” Jason said slowly. “And you’re not willing to accept the truth right now. I don’t think New Year’s Eve was an aberration, Elizabeth. I think Patrick’s right.”

“How could my father do this to us?” Elizabeth opened her eyes. “How could he look me in the eye every single day this last year and pretend to be sober when he was drinking in secret? How could he lie to me like that?”

Corinthos Penthouse: Living Room

“Why are you just sitting here?”

Brenda closed the door behind her and set her shopping bag on the desk. “Sonny?” she tried again. “You’re supposed to be at the warehouse.”

“I was thinking about Jason.”

Brenda sat on the sofa next to him and curled her leg up underneath her body. “Oh?”

“I was thinking that he’d regret quitting the job for Elizabeth,” Sonny continued, “or that he’d come to resent her, something she told me she worried about. I was coming to the conclusion that she was right when I remembered something.” He fastened his brooding eyes on her. “You gave up your modeling career for me.”

Brenda laughed. “And you’ve been sitting here, convincing yourself that I must resent you. You’re such a ninny.” She leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose. “Sonny, I love you. I liked modeling but I’m not sorry I gave it up for you. It was the only decision I could make if I wanted to marry you. You never came right out and said anything, but I couldn’t remain in the media spotlight if I was going to marry you. It would focus too much attention on you.” She took his hand in hers. “You knew from the moment you met Jason there was someone in his life. You knew before he did just how essential she was to him.”

“That’s true,” Sonny agreed. “But I think he’s going to remember that he gave something up that he wanted and it will come between them later.”

“I don’t think so,” Brenda replied. “I think he made the only decision he could. He’s not like you, Sonny. He’s not fighting for the top spot, he just wanted to prove to himself that he was capable of something more than unpacking crates and parking cars. Someone who is at the top has more freedom. You wouldn’t have married me if you’d been in Jason’s position.”

“Probably not.” Sonny hesitated. “But—”

“You want him to regret it so he’ll come back.” She rolled her eyes. “Because you value his friendship and can’t imagine how you’ll be friends now because you don’t work together. Boys. You’re all so dumb.”

He frowned. “Hey—”

“Jason loves her, Sonny. And Elizabeth is the kind of girl you settle down with and have a family. He can’t ever do that and not drive himself crazy thinking about the kind of person he’d have to become to continue working for you. He made the only choice he could now so he wouldn’t have to make one later that he’d hate. And when you give up someone you love for something else that doesn’t really mean as much in the long run, you will come to hate the thing you left them for. He’d hate himself, someday, Sonny, for having to leave her and possibly a family. And I think you know that.”

“You may have a point,” he allowed. “But—”

“You can still be friends with him, Sonny,” Brenda sighed. “It just means you’re actually going to have to make an effort.”

General Hospital: Locker Room

Patrick was seated in front of his locker, his head bowed and his hands clenched together. Robin dropped the plastic bag with his change of clothes on the floor next to him and leaned against the bank of lockers. “Hey.”

He shrugged a shoulder. “Hey.”

“Uh oh.” Robin scuffed the tip of her shoe against the floor. “You and Ellie are at it again.”

“She wants to get a lawyer for my dad and fix everything. Typical.” He scoffed and got to his feet. “It’s not penetrating her thick skull that Dad’s been lying to us, that’s he been drinking the entire time he’s been telling her how to run her life. She’s not seeing that.”

“No,” she murmured. “She’s just seeing that her family is broken and she wants to put it back together. Patrick, she’s not ready to accept that Noah’s still drinking.”

“I’m not ready to accept it,” he muttered. “He was normal, Robin. As normal as he’d ever been growing up but you know, he always drank then. He was just…” he shrugged. “A social drinker.” He shook his head. “There were liquor bottles stashed in his closet. In his nightstand. In his bureau. Anywhere Ellie and I wouldn’t be likely to look at. And now…” he threw up his hands. “A little girl is dead and her mother is in the ICU. How can I convince myself to help?”

“How can you step back?” Robin said after moment. When he just looked at her, she sighed heavily. “You told me that after I was gone, after your father was shutting everyone out, Ellie kept the family together or tried to. You abandoned her then and you told me that you feel bad about it. How can you step back from her again? Forget helping your father. What about your sister?”

“Look, you want me to work on accepting Jason in her life, I can agree with that. But she wants to get Dad a lawyer and get him released—”

“Is that what she wants to do?” Robin interrupted. “Or did she just suggest getting a lawyer?”

He exhaled slowly. “Your father mentioned an arraignment and Ellie mentioned a lawyer. I didn’t stick around to hear much else.” He sat back on the bench and after a moment, Robin joined him. “I just don’t know if I have it in me to go through this again,” he admitted. “After you left and Jay…had his brains scrambled, I shut down and it was just easier not to get involved and to keep a distance from everyone and everything. Even after my father’s first accident and things started to get better, I didn’t get involved beyond ribbing Ellie about Jason. I just stepped back.”

“There’s nothing wrong with protecting yourself,” she told him. “We do what we have to keep it together but I’m afraid that if you and Ellie don’t stick to one another, neither one of you will come out of this without more damage. Jason can do all that he can, but he can’t replace you. You and Ellie were so close once. Why can’t you find a way to make that work again?”

“We were kids then.” He shook his head. “Nothing’s the same anymore.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

“How are the insurance forms coming?” Emily asked, setting a chart next to Nadine. The nurse rolled her eyes.

“Tedious as ever.” Nadine glanced at the intern and hesitated. “You’re not wearing your ring.”

Emily glanced down at her hand. Nikolas had refused to take back the ring but she couldn’t bring herself to wear it. It sat in her jewelry box at home and after all this time, her finger felt bare without it. “We broke off the engagement,” she said quietly.

“Oh…I’m so sorry.” Nadine gathered her forms up. “You seemed like such a nice couple.” She smiled and stepped out of the station.

Emily sighed and turned away to find Nikolas stepping off the elevator. His eyes went directly to her hand and when he realized the ring was missing, he frowned. He came towards her. “Emily.”

“Nikolas, I’m really not up for this,” she sighed. “And besides, I’m working.”

“I didn’t realize how seriously you took the problems between our families,” Nikolas said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t pay enough attention—”

“It doesn’t matter,” she said, shaking head. “It’s done.” She reached for her next chart but Nikolas grabbed her hand to keep it in place.

“I’m not giving up without a fight,” he warned.

“Mr. Cassadine,” Epiphany said coldly, stepping up behind him. “I do not care how much money you donate to this hospital. You do not put your hands on a staff member.”

“Epiphany, it’s okay,” Emily said. She gently pulled her hand away. “Nikolas was just leaving.”

Nikolas reluctantly took a step backwards. “This isn’t over, Emily.”

Weep for yourself, my man,
You’ll never be what is in your heart
Weep, little lion man,
You’re not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself
Take all the courage you have left
And waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head
– Little Lion Man, Mumford & Sons

January 3, 2006

General Hospital: Conference Room

Diane Miller was a lawyer in every sense of the word. She lived, ate and breathed the legal system. From the tip of her salon cut red hair to the soles of her designer heels, she exuded both confidence and superiority.

Sonny had recommended her to Jason and Elizabeth as someone who helped him out when his brother Ric wasn’t available. She was their go-to woman and Sonny trusted her with his life and freedom, which meant Jason did as well. Elizabeth wasn’t entirely sure but she was willing to try it.

At least until she ran out of money for the legal fees.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Miss Drake,” Diane said, making a note. “It will be extremely difficult to get your father off the hook for these charges.”

“I’m not worried about that right now,” Elizabeth replied. “I just need to get him arraigned and hopefully released on probation. He’s still in and out of consciousness with the drugs. I haven’t really been able to discuss anything with him.” She chewed her lip. “You should know upfront that I’ll be paying the fees but if Dad wants to take this to trial—”

Diane waved a hand, dismissing her. “The fees are taken care of. I’m on retainer for Sonny and he’s instructed me to bill him.”

“No…” Elizabeth shook her head. “No, I can’t accept this.”

“My dear, I am not exactly cheap,” Diane said, twisting her pen between her long fingers. “Sonny merely said that you were a close friend of his—practically part of the family. And Sonny’s family receives the best.”

“I suppose I’ll have to take it up with Sonny then,” Elizabeth sighed. She rubbed her eyes. “Do you have the information about his arraignment?”

“Yes. I imagine getting bail won’t be difficult, however…” Diane hesitated. “It won’t be cheap. With his prior record and the seriousness of the charges, it could be very steep. Is there perhaps a house or some other real estate that you might be able to put up as collateral?”

“Dad sold the house and I rent…” Elizabeth shook her head. “I guess I’ll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.” She stood and extended her hand across the table. “Thank you very much for coming on short notice, anyway. It means a lot.”

“Of course.” Diane paused. “On a personal note, I wanted to tell you how sorry I am that you seem to be going through this alone. This won’t be an easy time for you. I’d like to say that I could offer you an ear but I’m told I’m somewhat…” she lifted her hands in a shrug. “Lax in the area of compassion.”

“I have Jason,” Elizabeth said. “And some friends. I’m not alone.” She offered a thin smile. “But thank you for your concern.”

Diane nodded and gathered her materials before exiting. Elizabeth took another moment to gather her thoughts before following. She wasn’t alone, not really.

But she was pretty damn close.

Drake Home: Living Room

Will gingerly pushed open his front door and stepped into the house. He hadn’t been home since Christmas Eve and he hadn’t spoken to his mother since a disastrous call Christmas Day. It was hard to accept that his family had come so far in such a short time.

Two years ago, his father had been a well-respected cardiac surgeon at General Hospital, his mother a solid housewife and he’d been an honors student. Or so he’d thought. Shortly after Thanksgiving the previous year, Cheryl Drake had kicked her husband of eighteen years out of the house with very little warning to her son.

It was not something Will understood then. Sure, everyone knew Liam Drake was a social drinker—the life of the parties. Occasionally, he imbibed a bit too much but wasn’t that true of everyone? To Will’s sixteen-year-old eyes, nothing about that seemed wrong. The bills were paid, his dad went to work and came home. They had a nice house in a nice area of town.

But Liam was drinking more and more after his sister-in-law passed away because his brother Noah was drinking more and they’d always drank together. He was coming home later and later and his work performance was suffering. These were all things Will had learned later by interrogating family members and friends.

Now, Liam had moved to New York City to work and he and Cheryl were still duking it out in the courts. His mother was angry because she hadn’t worked in nearly twenty years and didn’t know how she was supposed to take care of the house or herself now. She’d started drinking to dull the reality of her situations months ago and that’s when things had become almost unbearable in his home.

Will sighed and stood in the entryway for a long moment. Alcoholism and bad relationships were the Drake legacy. He just hoped he wasn’t doomed to repeat it.

“Will?” His mother came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on the dish cloth. Her eyes were red and her mouth pinched. “I…thought you were staying with your cousins.”

“I am,” Will said cautiously. “I came home to talk to you about some stuff and to get some things.” He looked at her for a long moment. “Mom….are you sober?”

Cheryl closed her eyes and nodded. “Three days without a drink. I heard about Noah’s accident and the little girl…” she shook her head. “Suddenly, my future looked kind of bleak. I looked around this house and you weren’t here.” She stepped towards. “Will, I’m so sorry for what I’ve put you through.”

“It’s okay,” Will shrugged and looked away. “You were going through stuff.”

“No, it’s not okay. I am your mother and that should be my first priority.” She gestured towards the sofa. “Let’s sit and talk for a moment. We have a few things to figure out.”

“Yeah.” He scratched his head and joined his mother on the sofa. “Uh, Mom, there are some things I need to tell you that you might not be happy about. Lu…” He paused. “Lu’s pregnant.”

Cheryl sighed. “Oh, dear. That’s unfortunate.” She hesitated. “You two are so young…surely you’re not going to keep the baby.”

“We’ve figured out a plan,” Will said. “We’re keeping the baby. Lu and I are going to finish school and her parents are going to help us out so we can both go to college and get our education. I’m going to stay at the Spencers to take care of Lu.”

“Will…” Cheryl reached out and grabbed his hand. “This is just a promising time in your life, I can’t help but feel you’re making a mistake. What kind of life can you give a child? You’re just babies yourselves.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Spencer said they’d support whatever decision Lu made and Lu wants the baby. It’s her decision to go through with it and she made it clear that she doesn’t expect anything from me. But that’s not what I want. I care about Lu, Mom—”

“Don’t be ridiculous—you can’t care about her enough to ruin your future!” Cheryl stood. “You’re going to be a doctor, Will. And teenage fathers never make it to medical school!”

“There’s no reason why I can’t continue on. I’ve got scholarships lined up and her parents made it clear they won’t allow either of us to sacrifice what we want—”

“That’s easy for them to say!” Cheryl planted her hands on her hips. “Their kid wasn’t going to amount to much anyway. What the hell was Lulu Spencer ever going to accomplish in life?”

Will slowly rose to his feet. “Mom, that’s not fair. We’ve made our decision—”

“The hell you have! I won’t allow it. I am your mother and until you are eighteen, I have the right to dictate what you do and where you live. You will come home immediately and I don’t want you to have anything to do with that girl or her family.”

Will sighed. He should have known this would end like this. Even if his mother had given up the alcohol, she was still the angry, bitter woman who’d kicked out his father. She was never going to understand this decision and she was never going to support it. He’d have to learn to accept that.

Quartermaine Estate: Foyer

Monica stepped in from the dining room, sipping her coffee. She was glad she’d arranged for her day off to coincide with her daughter’s. Since she’d broken off the engagement New Year’s Eve, Emily had been subdued and stayed in her room more often than not.

It was unacceptable and Monica wasn’t going to allow it to continue.

She watched Emily come in from her morning jog and pull off her parka and her earmuffs. She tugged her gloves off and shoved them in the pocket of the park. “How cold was it out there?”

Emily jumped and turned to find her mother, sipping her coffee. “Mom. Aren’t you supposed to be in work?”

“I took the day off.” Monica tipped her head towards the door to the dining room. “Why don’t you join me for breakfast?”

“I’m tired, I thought I’d lay down—”

“Join me,” Monica repeated in a tone Emily recognized. With a sigh, she followed her mother into the room and obediently filled a plate with food she knew she wouldn’t eat.

Monica took her seat and reached for a slice of grapefruit. “We haven’t had a chance to talk since you broke up with Nikolas.”

Emily’s hand stilled as she stirred sugar into her tea. “No one in the family has really said anything.”

“Emily, I hope no one influenced you to make this decision.” Monica remarked. She hesitated. “You seem to think that you have to work harder to be a member of this family. That you have to be something extra so that we’ll love you.”

“Mom—” Emily shook her head.

Monica reached over to cover Emily’s hand. “All you ever had to do was to wake up in the morning. You are my daughter and a member of this family, no matter who you marry.”

Emily bit her lip. “I think that you could probably make Dad and Grandfather go to the wedding and you could probably insist that they be nice to Nikolas on holidays and when we ran into each other in public but it would never be the same. Nikolas’s uncle is going back to Greece if we get married and Grandfather will never look at me the same way—”

“Emily, if you love Nikolas, that shouldn’t matter—”

“That’s what I told myself when we started dating,” Emily cut in. “And when Nikolas asked me to marry him, I told myself that what happened between our families wouldn’t matter. But that’s not true, Mom. My family…” She blinked away tears and swallowed hard. “You guys loved me when you didn’t have to. You took me in and kept me out of the foster system. Who knows where I could have ended up. You gave me a direction in life — I love being a doctor, I love my work at the hospital.”

“And we are all so proud of you, sweetheart. It was worth every heart ache of your teenaged years to get to this point,” Monica said. “But we are your family no matter what—”

“I am terrified that Nikolas will look at me one day and he’ll think it wasn’t worth losing his uncle. They’re so close, Stefan is like his father.” Emily paused. “And I’m scared that I’ll look at him and all I’ll see is the loss of my relationship with Dad and Grandfather. We’ll resent each other, Mom, and this beautiful love that we have…it will wither away and we’ll hate each other.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that, Emily—”

“I don’t see how it could be any be any other way. Family means everything to Nikolas and I. If we sacrifice our families to be with one another, how can we not resent one another down the line?” Emily shook her head. “It’s just not possible, Mom. I’d rather break our hearts now and be able to remember him with love than with hate.”

Monica couldn’t find it in herself to argue with that logic. She couldn’t deny that Emily certainly had a point. Alan and Edward would probably distance themselves from Emily. Not deliberately and not maliciously, but Alan knew his father hated the Cassadines. Nikolas would not be invited to any family gatherings and Emily would be forced to choose.

“Well, you know your own heart better than anyone else,” Monica murmured. She patted Emily’s hand. “But I am your mother and I will love you no matter what.”

General Hospital: Locker Room

“Fancy meeting you here.” Robin dropped onto the bench next to Patrick and put her hand on his forearm. “Ellie said you hadn’t been by all day.”

“Couldn’t.” Patrick stood and pulled open his locker. He tugged his scrubs off and reached for the pullover in the locker. “I know what you want me to do, Robin and I wish I could say I’d do it, even if was just for you…”

“Patrick…” Robin got to her feet and surprised him by wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek to his bare back. It was one of the things she’d always done to comfort him in the past and it was almost torture to have that for a moment. “All I want is for you and Ellie to be okay.”

Patrick turned and gripped her shoulders lightly. “He was arraigned this afternoon, wasn’t he?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Robin murmured. “They set bail but Ellie can’t pay it. Even so, Noah can’t be released from the hospital for another week so she’s not even going to worry about it.”

“How can she stand behind him?” he muttered. He pulled away from her and shoved the sweater over his head. “How can she support him after everything he’s put her through?”

“Because its family,” Robin said simply, “and Ellie’s never turned her back on family.” She paused. “Patrick, my heart aches for all the pain you’re going through but I can’t help but think…” she stopped and shook her head.

“Just say it, Robin. We both know what you’re thinking. I’m making myself miserable,” Patrick said sharply. “I’m the one who refuses to go see my father and I’m the one who’s leaving my sister alone to deal with this. God knows how she’s paying for the lawyer or how she’ll pay for bail.”

Robin pursed her lips and pondered her next statement. “Diane’s on retainer for Sonny Corinthos. He’s doing Ellie a favor.”

Instead of flying into a rage as expected, Patrick surprised her by sinking back onto the bench. “This is what I’ve been reduced. Sitting and doing nothing while the local crimelord plays hero. This is ridiculous.”

“He cares about her because she’s important to Jason,” Robin told him. “It’s not about playing hero. He knew she needed help and he did what he had to do to support her. That’s what friends do. That’s what family does.” She sat next to him. “Patrick, you don’t have to want to set Noah free to support each other. You just have to listen to one another. Don’t shut her out again because she might not give you a second chance to make it right.”

“I know you’re right but it’s just so hard…” He shook his head. “How can I face her after everything I’ve done to her?”

“You just have to walk up to her and let the rest of it take care of itself.” Robin touched his cheek. “Patrick, I would give anything to turn back the clock and change the way I left, the way I handled my illness. I have so many regrets. Don’t let Ellie be one of yours.”

If you love somebody
Better tell them while they’re here ’cause
They just may run away from you
You’ll never know quite when, well
Then again it just depends on
How long of time is left for you
– On Top of the World, Imagine Dragons

January 5, 2006

Elizabeth & Patrick’s Apartment: Living Room

Elizabeth sipped her coffee and leaned back against the couch cushions, relaxing for the first time in days. Will had packed and left for the Spencer house the day before, moving into the empty room vacated by Lucky.

It would be good for Will to be around the Spencers, to get some of the unconditional support that Lucky had benefited from all his life. She knew her aunt wasn’t in favor of the idea, but Cheryl was just going to have to get over it. This was what was best for Will.

She heard rustling from Patrick’s bedroom and steeled herself for a confrontation. She’d been avoiding him for the past two days, but she knew this couldn’t continue. They would have to come to some sort of agreement.

Patrick’s door opened and he stepped out. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Elizabeth sat up and set her mug on the table. “Ah…I guess you should know that Dad’s being transferred to lockup in the next day or so.”

“You’re not bailing him out?” Patrick asked his tone even and calm.

“I can’t.” Elizabeth sighed and rubbed her eyes. “Sonny’s paying for Diane’s services. I tried to argue with him, but he just…he said that money should never be an obstacle. He offered to pay the bail, but I told him that I absolutely couldn’t accept that.” She chewed her lip. “We don’t have anything for collateral.”

“Ellie…” Patrick crossed the room and perched in the armchair adjacent to the couch. “I know…I know I haven’t always been as supportive as I could have been. Especially in the last week. Or since Mom died.”

“We all lost her,” Elizabeth responded softly. “We all have to deal with it in our own ways. Dad drinks, I try to manage everyone’s lives and you…step back.”

“It leaves you holding the bag and it’s not fair.” He hesitated. “I can’t…I don’t know how to fix this for you. Or to help you fix it. I don’t know that I want to fix it.”

“I understand. I really do.” She bit her lip. “I told Diane that I wasn’t necessarily interested in getting him acquitted. That she would have to discuss that with Dad. I don’t…” Elizabeth paused. “I don’t know what I want to happen. I don’t want Dad to go to jail, but I can’t see…I don’t understand how he could go anywhere else. How he could deserve anything less.” Her voice broke. “That little girl…deserves so much more from us. I can’t keep pretending.”

“Robin told me that I had to talk to you, to find out what it is you really wanted and not just assume,” Patrick said with a small smile. “As usual, she knows better than me.”

“She always was the better half of the two of you,” Elizabeth replied softly. She cleared her throat. “I don’t know what Robin told you about her time in Paris–”

“She told me she’s sick,” Patrick responded. “That she’s healthy right now, but you and I both know that’s…not necessarily always going to be the case.” He shoved himself off the chair and crossed to the window. Outside, the park across the street was covered in thick, white snow. He hated winter.

“No,” Elizabeth agreed. “Her cocktail could stop working at any moment.” She stood and walked over to stand beside him. “How cliché of us to fall for people like our parents.” When Patrick threw her a questioning look, she continued, “Jason is wonderful when he’s here, but he can be….inaccessible sometimes. Like Dad when he’s drunk. When he’s sober, he’s the best dad. When he’s had the alcohol…” Elizabeth shrugged.

For once, Patrick didn’t rise to the bait regarding Jason. “And I’m doomed to love a woman who will leave me first.” He paused. “She told me on New Year’s. Just before you told me about the accident. Double whammy.”

“Oh Patrick–”

“And for the first time, I could understand how Dad did this to himself,” Patrick continued. “Because Mom was his entire world and with her gone, he didn’t know how to go on without her. That’s why I can’t face him. Because I’m condemning him for not being strong enough. Ellie, I don’t care that Robin and I are not together. I wish that we could be, but I’ll deal with that. But if something happens to her, if she gets sick and or is in an accident…I realized that night that I don’t have to be with her to be okay, but I do need her to be okay. I need her to be out there, somewhere in this world, living and breathing.” His voice caught and Elizabeth realized he was as close to losing it as she had ever seen him. “And I’m more than a little worried if something happened to her…maybe I would end up exactly where Dad is.”

Quartermaine Estate: Dillon’s Room

“So Drake officially moved in yesterday?” Dillon asked. He frowned and ran some more footage through his computer. He needed a better angle on this shot and made a note to reshoot it the next day.

Lulu sighed heavily from her position on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “The last of his things are in the room, yeah.”

Dillon glanced over at her. “You don’t sound particularly thrilled.”

Lulu propped herself up on her elbows and shook her head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just–it’s like life is happening so fast. If you blink, it’s like a year goes by, you know?”

“Well, when you get knocked up in your teens, life does start to go very fast,” Dillon murmured, making some dialogue notes.

“Ha,” she responded dryly. “I just want everything to be okay. I don’t want Will to be sorry that he took this on–”

“Lu, it’s not like you did this by yourself,” he interjected. “You and Will are equally responsible for this situation, so if he regrets that he stepped up to take responsibility, he’s a weak-willed, little boy that doesn’t deserve your time.”

Lulu blinked and frowned at him. “That’s kind of pessimistic, don’t you think?”

“Not at all,” her best friend replied. “You know, I’m so tired of the attitudes in this town towards family and doing the right thing. Grandfather browbeat Emily and guilted her into choosing him over Nikolas. Will’s parents just suck. And every time I see Elizabeth Drake or her brother, they’re arguing about their father again. It’s all just crap.”

Dillon threw his pencil down. “I’ve met my father once and I only know that because I happen to have a picture of it. My mother forced him into marriage and got pregnant on purpose. That’s we do in this family. We have an agenda and we go after it whether it’s ethical or not.”

Lulu sat up and tucked her feet under her. “I’m surprised Emily gave in,” she said, tackling the only part of Dillon’s tirade she felt she could. Dillon was usually more laid back and content to go with the flow. This was unexpected to say the least.

“She still thinks she needs to earn her place here,” Dillon replied. He shoved off his chair and paced his room. “Like she’s less because she’s not blood-related. She’s freaking lucky she doesn’t have this blood running through her veins. Jesus, Lu, you know who my mother is. Who’s to say I won’t wake up like her tomorrow?”

“Dillon…” Lulu tilted her head to the side. “You’ve already inherited the stuff you’re going to take from your mother. Don’t you think if you were going to be as ruthless as Tracy, some signs would start to show?”

“I’m as self-absorbed as she is,” Dillon muttered. “For years Emily has been trying to keep it all balanced and she could have used some support, but did I help? No, I just holed up with my camera and my movies and ignored it–”

“Dillon–”

“I just stay in my room or I tune everyone out. Maybe Ned would have liked some support against Grandfather–”

“Dillon–”

“And what about AJ? Grandfather and Alan just go after him like he’s meat on a bone all the time. No wonder he’s an alcoholic. And I could have been nicer to Jason after the accident–”

“Were you mean?” Lulu asked curiously. “I thought you just avoided the whole situation because your family was insane.”

“Exactly!” Dillon threw up his hands. “I’m self-absorbed. I don’t care about anyone other than myself and–”

“Okay, seriously, you’ve lost it.” Lulu got off the bed and waved her hands in front of time. “Time out.”

“Lulu–”

“Who’s the guy who tackled Maxie Jones when she pulled my hair in the third grade?” Lulu asked. “And who’s the guy who let me cry on his shoulder when I thought Ellie wasn’t going to like me anymore because she wasn’t dating my brother? Who’s the guy who got on the bus to St. Paul just because I thought I saw a celebrity and never once held it against me that we got stranded there?”

“That stuff doesn’t count,” Dillon grumbled.

“It counts to me.” Lulu put her hands on his shoulders. “You’re the Wallace to my Veronica. The Xander to my Buffy, the Sonny to my Cher. The Jack to my Jen–”

“You know I hate that one,” Dillon sighed.

“You are my best friend and I never would have been able to get this far in life without you.” Lulu hugged him fiercely. “You could never be your mother and don’t blame yourself because you figured out how to be a sweet, compassionate, awesome guy without your family ruining all the good stuff.” She pulled back. “You are the best friend a girl could have and I want you to know how important that is to me.”

“All right, all right,” Dillon sighed. “I guess you have a point. No one who worries about numero uno would have tackled Maxie Jones. She bites.”

Lulu laughed. “Listen, if you really feel badly about what happened to Emily, then you can start standing up for her now. Make her understand that she’s got a comrade in arms in this loony bin.”

General Hospital: Noah’s Room

Noah heard the door to his room creak opened and wondered if it was Patrick again–opening and then closing the door without bothering to actually come in. He hadn’t seen Ellie in days. He wasn’t sure what to make of anything — he could barely stand to be awake and asked for sedatives to keep him sleeping.

“Uncle Noah?”

Noah turned and frowned as his nephew Will stepped out of the shadows. “Will?”

“Hey.” Will shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and rocked back on his heels. “Sorry I haven’t been by…I don’t know if Ellie or Patrick mentioned it, but I’m…well…things are happening in my life that are little surprising.”

“That’s okay.” Noah struggled to sit up. “The kids haven’t mentioned anything, is everything okay?”

“They’re not bad,” Will said slowly. “Bad would be an unfair term.” He paused. “I moved out of my house at Christmas and I moved into the Spencers yesterday.”

“The Spencers?” Noah searched his beleaguered mind. “I thought I heard you and Lulu had parted ways.”

“We did,” Will confirmed. “We’re not really back together. Not yet. I don’t know if we will be. I was drinking too much and she didn’t want to be around that.”

“Sounds familiar,” Noah murmured in reply.

“But she found out that she was pregnant,” Will continued. “And everything had to change.”

Noah just blinked in response. His nephew, to become a father? His seventeen-year-old nephew? “Will…”

“I know it’s a big responsibility,” Will continued, “but Lulu and I think if we stay realistic and stick together, we’ll be okay. Her parents wanted me to come live with them so they could support Lulu through everything. They’re going to help with the medical bills and make it so Lu and I can graduate from high school and go to college. I just…I wanted to ask you something.”

“What’s that?” Noah asked.

“The Drake curse,” Will said. “The thing that makes all Drake men drink like fish and ruin their lives.” He shrugged uncomfortably. “I was just wondering if it could be avoided.”

“There’s no such thing as a curse,” Noah replied. “It’s a matter of willpower. I don’t have it. Your father doesn’t. My father didn’t. Patrick…he has it.” Noah stared at his hands. “He had every reason to drown himself in alcohol these last few years and he kept himself going. You want advice about staying out of the bar and keeping your life together, your cousin is the best person to ask.”

Will nodded. “I just…I don’t want to screw this up. I don’t want to be my father, I don’t want to be–” he cut himself off and shrugged again. “I just want to be okay at it. It’s too important to mess with.”

“I agree,” Noah replied. “Don’t make the same mistakes that I did. You can be better than that.”

“It’s not like you can’t make things better,” Will said. “You’re a still a dad. You can fix things.”

“I’m not sure this can be fixed,” Noah replied. “You know what’s happened.”

“You can’t take back the night you decided to drink and drive, no,” Will said bluntly. “And you can’t take back the lying you’ve done over the last year or the role you played in my parents’ divorce. You can’t take back the last three years, Uncle Noah, you know that. But you can help Ellie and Patrick. All they do is argue, and when they’re not arguing, they’re just silent. They don’t talk to each other. And how to deal with your…situation is why.”

Noah just stared at him and Will decided to just go for it. “You should plead guilty, Uncle Noah. You did it and it’s ridiculous to walk in that room to pretend that you don’t deserve to be punished for it. The more you screw up, the more you make Patrick and me think we don’t have a chance. And the more you lie and drag this out, the more pain you cause Ellie. It’s not fair.”

When his uncle still didn’t speak, Will just shrugged. “Anyway, that’s all I really wanted to say. See you later.”

Harborview Towers: Apartment

“Why do I have to close my eyes?” Elizabeth asked. She stumbled out of the elevator as Jason led her down a hallway.

“Just a few more seconds,” he told her. He fumbled with a key and Elizabeth heard a door open. She was led through a doorway and heard the door close behind her. “Open your eyes.”

She lifted her eyelashes and frowned when she saw a modest set of rooms in front of her; a small living room that opened into a kitchen to the left. On the right, there was a hallway that probably led to a bedroom. “What is this?”

“I’m renting it,” Jason told her. He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I can’t keep bringing you to Jake’s–”

“Jason–”

“I know it’s not much, but it’s in a better part of town, you know?” Jason continued, almost sounding nervous. “And it’s got a better bathroom. I know it’s cleaner than the one in my room.”

“The one in your room is fine…” Elizabeth smiled faintly. “Jason, I like Jake’s.”

He nodded. “I do, too. And we should still go there for pool if you want. But I’m not the same guy that moved in there, you know. And you deserve something better.”

“I don’t want you to do this for me.” Elizabeth chewed her lip. “You quit working for Sonny, didn’t you?”

He hesitated. “Not exactly.”

“You’re back to working at the warehouse,” Elizabeth qualified. “No more…side jobs.”

“I don’t like having to disappear on you,” he said, his voice taking a slightly stubborn tone. “You needed me and I wasn’t here–”

“Jason…” Elizabeth sighed and turned in a slow circle. “This is…this is all a little…fast.”

“I know you don’t want to move in with me,” Jason said. “That’s okay. I know you and Patrick still need time together, to work things out. I just wanted you to know that I’m…serious about what’s going on here.”

“I wish you wouldn’t quit working for Sonny,” Elizabeth murmured. “I don’t want you to be sorry about it–”

“I won’t,” he insisted. “I did it for me. I don’t want to be out of town or out of contact when you need me. When anyone needs me. I told Sonny that I wasn’t quitting exactly, but I couldn’t take those jobs anymore.”

“Jason, you have to want this, too.” Elizabeth stepped towards him. “The apartment, the job. You have to want this, too.”

Jason was silent for a long moment before exhaling slowly. “I told you that I was getting flashes of Jason Quartermaine–that some things were clearer than others. I talked to Tony Jones about it and he doesn’t think I’ll ever remember everything but the flashes are normal. The more I remember, Elizabeth, the more I know exactly what I want.” He took her hand in his and just looked at it. “And what I want is to make sure that you don’t have to carry it alone anymore. It’s important to me to know that I’m supporting you and taking care of you.” He held up his other hand when she opened her mouth. “I know you can do all that for yourself, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to do it.”

She huffed and looked away for a moment. When she looked back at him, the expression in her eyes made him relax a little. “It’s hard to argue with that,” Elizabeth replied with half a smile.

PCPD: Commissioner’s Office

Robert glanced up when he saw a thermos set in front him, and then next to it, a large brown bag. “What’s this?”

“Dinner.” Robin unbelted her jacket and tossed it on the back of the chair. She sat. “Someone has to look out for you.”

“Thanks.” He opened the bag and grinned. “Corned beef on rye. You are my favorite daughter.”

“I’m your only daughter,” Robin replied with a grin. “That we know about it.” She hesitated. “You’ve been working late because of Noah Drake’s case.”

Robert paused as he unwrapped his sandwich. “You’ve always known me too well.”

“I just know how you can get with a case that you can’t leave at work,” she replied. She tilted her head to the side. “You never want to bring it home, so you just stay here.” Robin paused for a moment. “I think Ellie and Patrick are going to come out of this thing stronger, so if it’s them you’re worried about, it’s okay. They understand what’s happening and why Noah’s in trouble.”

“I could give a rat’s ass about that man,” Robert said shortly. “I had my suspicions that he was still drinking, but as long as he kept himself out of trouble and those kids seemed to be okay, I kept my mouth shut. It wouldn’t have served any purpose to do anything else. But if I had said something–”

“It wouldn’t have changed anything, Dad,” Robin said gently. “Because nothing would have kept Noah from drinking. He knew what he was doing and the only person to blame is Noah. Ellie arranged for Noah to get a lawyer, but she’s not bailing him out, and she’s not helping him in his defense.”

“I always knew she was a smart one.” Robert swallowed his food. “I know the Drake men have their problems, which is part of the reason I was glad you were out of town when all of this hit the fan. I worry about Patrick. So far he’s kept himself on the straight and narrow–”

“Patrick is going to be just fine,” Robin replied. “Liam and Noah belong to another generation. Patrick and his little cousin are going to turn things around. Patrick has lost too much to alcohol — his father and Jay. And Will lost his entire childhood.”

“You really believe that, don’t you?” Robert said.

“I do,” Robin said firmly. “Now what’s keeping you here late every night?”

“It was mostly Ellie,” her father admitted. “I just remember watching her grow up, her being in and out of the house so much. She was always around; she started to feel like my daughter too. And I guess it’s Patrick. I want to believe that this cycle in their family can be broken, Robin. Jay Quartermaine was such a bright kid with the entire world in front of him and so was Jennie Young. I’m tired of losing young people to this disease and the thought that Patrick might eventually give in under all that stress…”

“I knew you liked Patrick,” Robin replied, pleased.

“For a long time, I thought he’d be the one for you.” Robert paused. “Are you feeling all right? I mean, everything is okay?”

“Everything is fine.” Robin stood and moved around to hug her father. “You know why I loved Patrick so much?”

“Why?”

“Because he’s funny, smart, loyal and absolutely the best man I’ve ever known.” Robin leaned over and kissed her father’s cheek. “In short, Dad, I didn’t think I should ever settle for someone who didn’t measure up to my father.”

And lately, it’s yellow lights and you’re braking
Say you just want to wait and see it all unfold
But baby when you find what you’re seeking
Something you can believe in you just got to go
– Slow, Andy Grammer

January 10, 2006

General Hospital: Noah’s Room

Elizabeth and Patrick stood side by side at the end of Noah’s hospital bed, facing their father and his lawyer. It had been a week since their conversation in their apartment where they had finally come to some sort of agreement on how to handle their father. They would not bail him out, would not participate in his defense. As far as Patrick was concerned, Elizabeth had already gone above and beyond in order to get him a lawyer.

And now Noah and Diane wanted to meet with them, and the only reason Patrick was in this room was his promise to Elizabeth to see this through—to at least hear him out. But he hadn’t promised to stay.

“Thank you both for coming to see me,” Noah said, wincing in pain as he shifted his leg. “I know…that you didn’t want to.”

“Well, now that you know that, maybe we can speed this up,” Patrick bit out. Elizabeth nudged him, but he just nudged her back. She’d also forgotten to secure his agreement to be nice.

“I wish I could…” Noah hesitated. “I want to say I’m sorry, but I’m aware that for the both of you, that word means next to nothing, especially from me.”

“Not next to,” Patrick clarified, “but nothing. At all. Because you only mean it for five seconds.”

“Patrick,” Elizabeth hissed, but Noah held his hand.

“Your brother has a right to be angry, and I don’t blame him.” Noah nodded. “You’re right, Patrick. It means nothing. But I’ll say it anyway, because it’s true. I…never stopped drinking last year. I wanted to. I tried to, but after I came home from rehab and realized that in addition to destroying our family, I had helped destroy my brothers.”

“I just…” Elizabeth sighed. “I don’t understand, Dad, how you hid it. We saw you practically every day. Did…” She lifted a shoulder. “Did you just get better at it?”

“No. I didn’t drink as often and I didn’t drink on days when I was having a meal with either of you, or an operation to perform.” Noah closed his eyes. “But I still broke my promises, and the longer I did, the worse I felt, so the more I drank.”

“Typical,” Patrick muttered.

“I thought about fighting the charges,” Noah said after a moment. “Because it was an accident and I never meant to hurt anyone, except…maybe myself.” He looked at Patrick. “But I hurt more than the two of you. I…killed a young child, whose life was just beginning. I’m a doctor, I’m supposed to save lives…”

“Is there a point to this pity show?” Patrick said when Noah just trailed off, and he waited for his sister to hit him again. She didn’t.

“The point is,” Diane huffed, “is that we’ve spent the last week working out a deal with the DA’s office so that your father can avoid a trial and get help.”

“He’s done rehab before,” Elizabeth said softly. Patrick looked down at her and saw the anguish, the anger, and the betrayal reflected back. “What makes anyone think they can trust him to do it again and have it stick?”

“I don’t…blame you for thinking that.” Noah swallowed. “So that’s why I made the deal that I did. Diane, you understand the terms better than I do.”

“He’ll spend thirty days in a detox center, and then one more month in court-ordered rehab. After which point, he will be plead guilty to vehicular manslaughter in the first degree and will be sentenced to the maximum of fifteen years.”

Patrick blinked. He opened his mouth and looked at his father, confused. Because… “Aren’t deals supposed to…be give and take? That’s…the opposite of give and take.” He cleared his throat. “Not that I think…you don’t deserve it.”

“I wanted you two to know that I was serious,” Noah said quietly. “Diane says I’d be eligible for parole in four years, but it’s not good enough for me. So I’m also going to have lifetime probation. If I get pulled over even once for drinking and driving, I get taken right back to finish my sentence. It doesn’t matter if I do it ten minutes after I walk out of prison or ten years.”

“Dad…” Elizabeth’s hand found its way into Patrick’s, and she clung to him. “Dad…I know I wanted you to take responsibility, that I didn’t want you to be set free, but I didn’t mean…for you go…” Her voice broke. “You’re…fifty-five. You could be seventy before you can home. You’ll…”

And when she couldn’t continue, Patrick did it for her. “You’ll miss everything,” he said thickly. “Elizabeth is going to get married and have children, and they’ll be grown before you come home. Or almost grown.” He looked down at her. “Because we both know she’s already met the guy. It’s just a matter of when.” Focusing on his father, he said, “I…get that you’re serious about this…but don’t…don’t do it.”

Noah exhaled. “That’s why I have to do it. Because I want you look at me, Patrick. I want you and Will to look at what happens when you let the pain and devastation of loss take over your life. I climbed into a hole and I never climbed out. My brother is heading my way, if he hasn’t already gotten there. My father’s marriage was a disaster because he cared more about his brandy and his career than my mother. I want more for you. For Will. For Ellie.”

“And I want my father in my life,” Elizabeth whispered. “Dad…please…”

“It’s not as though he’d serve the fifteen years outright,” Diane reminded them. “He’d be home in four. Any grandkids wouldn’t even know he was gone.” She lifted her hands. “These are arguments I made before I made…the arrangement, because it sure as hell ain’t a deal.” Her eyes cast darts at her client.

“I’ve promised them too often that I’ll change,” Noah said simply. “I wanted them to know I meant it this time. If I come home in four years, I’ll count myself blessed, but I’ve been useless to them for years. What’s four more?”

“I get that you think you’re doing the right thing,” Patrick said tightly. He wrapped an arm around his sister’s shaking shoulders. “And I don’t disagree you should go to prison. But this is just selfish. So what if you get out in four? At any time, you could go back to jail for eleven years. We would just have to trust you to keep your nose clean for the rest of your life.” His voice was pained, but he forced himself to finish. “You think you’re proving something to me? To Ellie and Will? You’re just proving that you can’t keep your word. You need the threat of jail to keep you sober. Ellie and I aren’t enough. That’s what you’re saying.”

“No…” Noah shook his head. “It’s not what I’m saying, or doing. Patrick, you just don’t understand—”

“I understand perfectly.” Patrick nodded. “The day our mother died, we became orphans. Sure, you paid lip service to it this last year, pretending everything was fine. But you knew you were living a lie. I never bought it, not really, but Ellie did. And that’s what I’ll never forgive you for. Me, you can hurt me. But not her.” His arm tightened. “I’m through.”

“Is it too late to stop this?” Elizabeth asked, wiping her tears.

Diane hesitated, but nodded. “He’s being officially sentenced tomorrow, but the agreement is in place, so his statements to the police on the subject would be admissible. I suggested he talk this over with the two of you, but—”

“I thought you’d see this as me taking responsibility,” Noah said, his voice almost angry now. “But as usual, Patrick, you’re making it all about you—”

“I come by it honestly,” Patrick shot back. “You abandoned us three years ago, why should this be any different?” He looked down at his sister. “You ready to go?”

“I just…I don’t understand why you had to make it like this. Why…you had to make this decision without us.” And Patrick hated his father in that moment, for making his sister look like that—shattered and uncertain. “Didn’t….you care what we thought?”

“I didn’t think you’d see it this way, Ellie.” Noah shifted. “I killed a girl. I should go to jail—”

“You’re right. You should. It’s time that we were free of you and your guilt trips. Don’t make her feel like crap because she still loves you.” He nudged her towards the door. “Let’s go, El. You don’t have to justify yourself to him anymore.”

He steered her out of the room and was unsurprised to find Jason and Robin waiting for them by elevators. He saw the way Jason tensed and pushed away from the wall when he realized Elizabeth was crying, and he saw the concern in Robin’s face.

“What happened?” she asked softly. “He’s fighting it?”

Patrick released Elizabeth and felt not an ounce of annoyance or frustration that she went into Jason’s arms. He wasn’t Jay Quartermaine, and Robin had been right all those weeks ago. He had to let go of that, and just accept that whoever Jason was inside his own brain, he made Ellie happy.

He huffed and looked at Robin. “He tried to be self-sacrificing. He’s going to court-ordered rehab and then he’s pleading guilty to the maximum of fifteen years, eligible for parole in four years with lifetime probation.”

“I…” Robin stepped forward. “You mean if at any point for the rest of his life, he drinks and drives, he goes back to jail and finishes his term.”

“Yep,” Patrick said flatly. “So he needed the threat of prison to keep him on the straight and narrow. His kids aren’t enough. But I guess I already knew that.” He looked at Elizabeth. “Hey, El?”

She looked at him, not moving an inch from the circle of Jason’s arms. “Yeah?” she asked.

“You should…get out of here. Go…clear your head or something. I’ll stick around, make sure Dad gets transferred to the PCPD later without issue.” He hesitated. “Maybe Jason can take you out on the bike—I know you like to do that when you’re…upset.”

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes and he sighed, because he knew she was searching his statement for the hidden meaning, for the catch. When she couldn’t find it, she offered a smile and then tilted her head up to the man in question. “Can I drive?”

“Absolutely not,” he replied, but he smiled as he said it, and Patrick realized it was almost a routine for them. He wondered how he had missed this between them, insisting until the bitter end that Jason Morgan was nothing more than Elizabeth’s rebellious middle finger to her father and brother for all the crap they’d given her.

“I’ll see you at home, Patrick,” Elizabeth called over her shoulder as she and Jason headed towards the elevator.

“Probably not though,” Patrick muttered to himself after they were out of earshot. He wiggled his shoulders to chase away that thought and turned to find Robin studying him. “What?”

“That was a very nice thing you did for your sister.”

“You act so surprised,” he muttered. “She’s been dealing with Dad since the accident. It was my turn to get inconvenienced.” He slid his hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I told him in there that Elizabeth would be getting married in the next four years, because she’d already met the guy. Which meant he would miss that.”

“It’s probably true,” Robin agreed. “They just started dating rather than just being friends, but I think…they just took the long way around. Maybe they don’t see it right now, but they’re already in love.” She stepped next to him. “What makes you the angriest? That Noah is going to prison at all, that he wants the security of lifetime probation to keep him sober…”

“That he’s in this mess at all,” Patrick bit out. “I want him to pay for what he did to Jennie Young’s family, for putting the mother in a hospital bed as well, so they had wait on the funeral until after she could be discharged. So the four years….that’s fine. And I wouldn’t even care about probation, but…” He dipped his head and closed his eyes. “If he had just been telling the truth last year…about not drinking…he wouldn’t be facing this. So, yeah, bully for him to taking responsibility, but you know what? Too little, too late.”

“Fair enough.” Robin nodded. “So when Elizabeth gets married, you’ll just have to walk her down the aisle.” She smiled up at him. “And it’s appropriate. You always wanted her to end up with Jason Quartermaine, but Jay sat around and waited. He waited for her to break up with Lucky, waited for her to have a little time to enjoy being single. He never reached out for her.”

“Yeah.” Patrick rocked back on his heels. “And Jason Morgan did. So I guess it’s fair that he ends up with her.” He looked down at his ex-girlfriend. “We’re okay, aren’t we? We’re friends.”

“Always.” Robin slid her arm around his waist, he slid his around her shoulders and for a brief moment, Patrick felt the weight lift from his shoulders.

Spencer House: Kitchen

Lulu reached for the bowl of mashed potatoes with one hand as she passed the green beans to Will on her side. “Hey, Lucky, what did you get Emily for her birthday?”

Her brother glanced up and shook his head. “Uh uh, Lulu. I’m not telling you so you can go steal it and then pass it off as your own. You buy your own gifts.” He dumped carrots onto his plate and set the platter on the table.

Lulu rolled her eyes and looked at Will.. “Any ideas for Emily’s birthday? I think I’m still paying off the St. Paul trip she got me out of, so it’s gotta be good.”

“Why you thought it was a good idea to drag poor Dillon on a bus because you thought you saw Kristen Bell,” Laura sighed, sipping a glass of a wine. “Thank God for Emily and Nikolas. I don’t know what your father and I would have done if we’d had to fly out to get you.”

Luke frowned and looked at his wife. “You think I would have been disappointed in her? She’s a Spencer—” he gestured with a fork full of chicken. “She was following her God-given intellectual curiosity.”

“Is that what we’re calling it this week?” Lucky asked. “Because I remember when Liz and I ditched school for a week to go to New York for a music festival in high school, I was tossed in my room for a week.”

“Yours was deliberate,” Luke waved away Lucky’s objections. “And you know that was your mother. I don’t hold with punishments. I turned out just fine without parents controlling me.”

“Right,” Lulu drawled. “You and Aunt Bobbie are the poster children for well-adjusted adults.” She mimed the universal okay sign with her hand. “Okay, Dad.”

“So, Will, did Ellie or Patrick call you today?” Lucky asked, before Luke could offer a retort. “Their dad was supposed to be transferred to the PCPD today.”

Will swallowed his mouthful of carrots and nodded. He’d been content to just watch the Spencer byplay until that point. Their family dinners were full of warmth and laughter, good-natured mocking and reminiscing of past adventures. He had been used to frozen dinners standing over the kitchen while his mother was passed out upstairs. Or before his father had left, it had been silence and the occasional question about classes.

He preferred this.

“Yeah, Patrick called after Uncle Noah was all set up at the station.” Will sighed, and briefly related the deal that his cousin had told him over the phone. “So he’ll be in jail for four years, and then a lifetime probation.”

“That must be hard for Patrick and Ellie,” Lucky said, his face sober. “But they’ll get through it.” He leaned back in his chair. “Ellie’s got Jason, and Patrick…well he’s still kind of got Robin.” He shrugged a shoulder. “And it goes without saying, they’ve got us. You. And Emily. They’ll get through this.”

Will nodded, because it was true. Their father was going to be in jail, but he knew his cousins would be just fine. They had great friends who would stand up for them, the way family should.

“But I’m sorry for them all the same,” Laura murmured. She reached over and covered her husband’s hand with her own. “Noah and Mattie were so wonderful. We raised all our kids together, and when we lost her, it was like the light went out in his eyes.”

Luke nodded. “Can’t say I blame him for taking it so hard. Not that anything is ever going to happen to my Angel here,” he sent his wife a smile that told him exactly how much he loved her, “but I can’t say I’d handle it better than Noah.”

“You’d be surprised what you can handle when you have to.” Will looked at Lulu, who smiled at him hesitantly. They might not ever date again—they might always be co-parents, but he thought they’d be all right. Somehow.

Family would make the difference.

Quartermaine Estate: Parlor

Monica stepped into the parlor, knowing that Edward liked to spend time after dinner, sipping tea and reading the newspaper. After nearly two weeks of watching her daughter’s unhappy face, Monica Quartermaine had had enough.

“Edward, it’s time you and I had a frank discussion.”

Edward scowled as his daughter-in-law sat next to him on the sofa. “Monica, I don’t want to hear it—”

“How is what you’re doing to Emily any different than what the Cassadines did to Sofia?” she demanded. At that, his mouth closed. “Mikkos Cassadine wanted something better for his sister—some European royal probably. And instead, she fell in love with a playboy Quartermaine like your brother. You want something better for Emily, but instead she’s fallen in love with someone you don’t approve of. And you have browbeat her into believing that her family’s wishes ought to come first.”

Edward pressed his lips together and looked away. “I hadn’t…Monica, I know that family—they’ll break her spirit.”

Because she honestly knew that Edward loved her daughter, that he idolized her beyond sense, her heart softened. “I know that’s what you believe Nikolas will do. But have you seen her since New Year’s, Edward? She left him so that she wouldn’t resent him later for giving up her family. She did what you wanted her to do. Are you satisfied?”

“Of course I’m not satisfied,” Edward bit out. “I thought…” He waved his hand. “I thought she’d realize he was a reprobate and when she asked me if I…I meant for her to choose between this family and Nikolas, I-I suppose…” He looked away. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t know…I didn’t realize she…”

“You and I, Alan and Lila, everyone in this family looks at Emily as one of our own,” Monica said. “But she still remembers when she wasn’t. She believes we chose to love her, which means we might choose to stop.”

Edward scowled. “I don’t care who she marries, Monica. That girl is a Quartermaine. She may not have our blood, but she is Lila through and through, and I will not have—” He closed his mouth and dipped his head. After a long moment, he folded his paper and set it on the coffee table. “But I suppose that’s exactly what she believes. That I will withdraw my love and affection if she marries Nikolas Cassadine.”

“And we both know that’s not true. You may grumble, you may pout, but you will still love her.” Monica reached out and touched his hand. “I remember when Alan and I decided to adopt Emily after her mother died. I was…nervous because, of course, we had the boys and you loved them so much, but I know how proud you are of the Quartermaine name. But you and Lila never once looked at Emily as if she weren’t ours.”

“She is ours,” Edward said, fiercely. He rose to his feet and pointed at her. “You and Alan…you were busy, but I was…I was here for the rebellions. When she tried to run away, Robert Scorpio brought her back to me. I thought she might follow me into ELQ, so I talked to her about the company. She’s mine every bit as much as she’s yours.” He cleared his throat. “I…don’t want her thinking she has to be anything different to keep my love, Monica. She simply…” He gestured with his hands, as if not knowing exactly what to do with them. “She simply has it. And it’s not going to change.”

“So you should probably tell her that.” Monica nodded, wishing she had had this conversation months ago with the morons in her family. Alan would follow his father’s lead, and peace would reign again. “You could make this up to Emily, you know. We’re throwing her a birthday party this Friday at the Haunted Star. Perhaps you might invite Nikolas for her.”

Edward frowned. “Now, Monica, you’re pushing things. I will tolerate him, but—”

“You will accept him with open arms.” Monica got to her feet and leveled a glare at her father-in-law. “You will invite him and tell Emily yourself that you not only accept the engagement, but that you’re willing to pay for the wedding—without making any of the decisions. You have made Emily miserable from the moment she fell in love with him. She thought she was breaking your heart, Edward. So she broke her own instead. You need to make it up to her, otherwise she will never believe that you mean it.”

He looked away, but offered a small nod, which she knew considering his pride, would be all that she would receive.

Vista Point

Elizabeth leaned over the railing, staring out over the city, her breaths little puffs of air. “I’ll be glad when it starts to get warmer.”

“Yeah.” Jason leaned his back against the railing. “We can’t go as fast when there’s ice on the road.”

She grinned and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “I’m not saying that because of your bike. Not everything is about how much I like it.” She tilted her head up to the stars. “Is it wrong to be angry that he’s taking himself out of our lives like this?”

“You get to feel how you want to feel,” Jason said after a moment. “Did…you want him not to go to jail?”

“No, I didn’t,” Elizabeth admitted, “but I…knew he probably would.” She focused on the lights of the harbor, on the island in the distance, and the hulking structure of Wyndemere. “I just…didn’t think he’d do it willingly. And fifteen years, Jason…”

“That’s only if he breaks the terms of his probation.”

She closed her eyes. “And he will, you know. I can’t…believe that he won’t take a drink the second he’s out of prison. I simply…I don’t trust him.” She felt his arm draw her closer, and she burrowed herself in the opening of his leather jacket. “Isn’t that horrible?”

“He hasn’t given you much of a reason to trust him, has he?” he replied. “You thought he was sober all this last year, and he was lying to you.”

“It’s just…” She closed her eyes, and concentrated on the scent of him, of the warmth of his arms, the steadiness his embrace offered her. “He was so wonderful once. He and my mother….the four of us were so happy. How…could that be gone like this? I know nothing will bring her back, but I wanted that sense of family. I think Patrick and I will be okay, but…”

“But what?”

“I just…wish I knew what happens next.” Elizabeth drew back, her hands holding the edges of his jacket. She met his eyes. “He’ll be gone for four years, maybe longer. He’s going to miss so much of what happens in our lives. I mean, I guess I’d go visit him, but Patrick probably won’t. We’re never going to be a family again. The three of us.”

He sighed and his hands slid up from her ands to her elbows. “I don’t know what to say to you, because that’s true, I guess. It’ll never be the same.”

She pursed her lips and was quiet for a few moments, listening to the sounds of the night around them, the far off horns of the ships in the harbor, the cars on the highway below then. The leaves rustling in the trees. “I remember thinking that things would never be the same after Lucky and I broke up in high school. It was senior year, and I thought…” Elizabeth laughed a little. “I thought my life was over. We didn’t love each other the way we had, but I didn’t know who I was if I wasn’t Lucky’s girlfriend.”

She tilted her head to the side and met his eyes. “And you know what? They weren’t the same. Lucky and I are friends now. Patrick and Robin may never be the couple we all thought they’d be forever, my father will never be a part of my life the way he used to be…but you know what? It’s okay. Because at the end of the day, things can’t stay the same.” When he just frowned at her, she continued to smile. “What if Lucky and I had just decided to stay together? You know, we were laughing about a few weeks ago. We could have been happy together, maybe. Comfortable, at least. But we would have settled. Somewhere out there, there’s the perfect woman for him.”

Feeling nervous now because he hadn’t said anything, Elizabeth continued, “But if we had stayed together, we both would have missed out. He’ll find that person one day, but I needed to be free.” She leaned up on the tips of her toes to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “So that I could find you.”

“Well, I’m not sorry you broke up with him,” Jason finally said, his hand sliding up to her nape of her neck. “After my accident, after I left the Quartermaines, you were the only person in my life that didn’t seem to care I wasn’t Jason Quartermaine anymore. You made me feel…” he hesitated. “Normal. When everyone said I couldn’t be.”

“Well, normal’s relative,” Elizabeth murmured. “I hated the way Tony Jones talked about you, as if the brain damage had…made you less human.” She slid her hands inside his jacket, wrapping them around his waist. “I’d like to see him be half as well-adjusted as you are if he woke up with a blank slate.”

“So, maybe things aren’t going to be the same with your dad,” Jason said, brushing his lips across the tip of her nose. “Maybe he’ll drink when he gets out, and maybe he won’t. And maybe your brother will figure out how not be angry all the time. But you and me, Elizabeth, I don’t think that’s going to change.”

She grinned and leaned up to accept his kiss. “Oh, I don’t know about that, Jason. I think it might just get better.”

Note: This chapter, particularly the final scenes, is written in the style of the old-school GH montages.

Song; Family Tree by Matthew West

 

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January 13, 2005

Haunted Star

You didn’t ask for this
Nobody ever would

Emily stepped into the main room of the casino, and couldn’t help the broad smile spreading across her face at the elaborate decorations her family had put together for her twenty-fifth birthday.

She saw her parents across the room, glasses of champagne in their hand. Monica raised her glass to her and then tipped her head to her grandparents, near one of the dinner tables.

Edward looked at her, his eyes unreadable, but his smile was warm. And then he nodded his head, as if to indicate she ought to look behind her. Emily turned, and she simply stopped.

“Nikolas.”

Caught in the middle of this dysfunction
It’s your sad reality

“Oh, good.” Elizabeth leaned into Jason’s side. “I hope he’s going to convince her to put the ring back on.”

Her boyfriend scowled. “I told her not to let the old man tell her what to do.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Yes, well, Emily felt differently.” She watched one of her best friends just stare at her estranged fiancé. “She was so happy when he proposed. I want her to light up like that again.”

And then Jason looked down at her, with a frown. “Do you want to get married?”

Elizabeth laughed. “Maybe one day, but certainly not now.” When he just kept staring at her, she flushed and sipped her champagne. That was the blessing and the curse of dating someone without a filter. One never knew what Jason would say next.

It’s your messed up family tree
And all you’re left with all these questions

Lulu hesitantly stepped in behind Emily and Nikolas and skirted around the edge of their staring at one another. She saw her parents across the room, and then Dillon by the appetizers. She checked the time on her phone, and sighed. Will was stopping by the house first to talk to his mother. He said that her family inspired him to do better with her.

Well, her lips curved into a grin at the thought. The Spencers were nothing if not inspirational. She saw Dillon motioning towards her and she nodded. With a finger touching the pearl necklace at her throat, she started for her best friend and partner in crime. Will might be the father of her child, but Dillon was her platonic life partner and they were going to have fun tonight.

Are you gonna be like your father was and his father was?
Do you have to carry what they’ve handed down?

Patrick eyed the drink in his hand and then looked across the room, where his sister and her boyfriend were talking quietly. She was smiling brightly, and even he looked less like a stone statue.

And he saw Robin with her father, sipping wine and laughing. He loved her so much—he’d never stopped. And with the news of her illness, of his father’s accident, he’d quite simply blocked out the fact that she’d moved on, had planned on marrying someone else.

He didn’t know who he was if he wasn’t Patrick Drake, Robin Scorpio’s childhood sweetheart. And he wasn’t sure he was interested in finding out.

Leaving his barely touched drink on the bar, he started across the room towards the Scorpios.

No, this is not your legacy
This is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you

Robin turned from her father who was deep in conversation with her uncle Mac about the Yankees’ prospects for the next season as she saw Patrick approaching her. “I love Quartermaine parties,” she said to him as he joined her. “They go all out every year.”

“Yeah.” He slid his hands in his pockets. “Were you happy with him?” he asked quietly.

Robin hesitated and her heart aching for this boy, for this man who had always been in her heart. “I was, Patrick. But maybe…” She hesitated. “Maybe it was easy because it was just us in Paris. Our own little world. I don’t know what would have happened if he didn’t get sick.” Robin felt almost guilty for admitting what she’d only thought in her bed, alone at night. “But I won’t pretend that I didn’t love him.”

Patrick nodded, dipping his head towards the ground. “Fair enough.” Then he looked at her, his dark eyes burning into hers. “Do you think you could love me again?” He cleared his throat. “Never mind, don’t answer that.”

No, this is not your legacy
This is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you

Will stepped into the casino, his eyes searching the room for a familiar face. He saw the Spencers by the blackjack table, and grinned because he could tell Lu’s mom was trying to discourage her husband from placing another bet. He saw Patrick winding away from a sad-looking Robin towards his sister and Jason.

And he saw Lulu laughing by the appetizers with Dillon.

He sighed, because he really did love her. He was just afraid it wasn’t the right kind of love, the kind that could keep a family together through the hard times. But it was a good, steady love that might end up fading into friendship.

And there were worst things in life than parents who were friends. He lifted his chin and started towards some friends from school, leaving Lulu to enjoy her time with her best friend. He was going to be okay, whether he lived with his mother (which seemed unlikely given her unhappiness at Lulu’s pregnancy), or he stayed with the Spencers.

He was going to be a better man than his father, and he was going to be a better father than the Drake men before him.

I have a dream for you
It’s better than where you’ve been
It’s bigger than your imagination

Jason had excused himself to grudgingly say hello to Monica who had been casting sad looks in their direction all night, as Patrick approached them. “Hey,” he nodded to his sister. “You look nice, tonight.”

“Thanks.” She hesitated. “Did…you argue with Robin?”

He shook his head and glanced back towards his ex-girlfriend standing with her father, her uncle and one of her younger cousins. “No. I’m just…trying to come to terms with the fact that she’s not the one.”

“Patrick…” She reached out to touch his forearm. “You don’t know what. You can’t know that. You guys are friends, and you can’t see what’s in the future.” Elizabeth hesitated. “But maybe she’s not. You’ll never know if you don’t open yourself back up to love.”

He nodded. “I know, I get that, Ellie. It’s the one thing Robin has beat into me in…” He let out a sound that was almost a huff mixed with a chuckle. “Has she only been home a month?”

“See?” Elizabeth arched an eyebrow. “Four measly weeks, you don’t know what could happen. Just…give yourself a chance. I love you, you annoying bastard.” She glanced down. “You, me and Will, we’re it. We have to stick together.”

“Don’t worry.” Patrick brushed a kiss across her forehead. “You’re stuck with me.”

You’re gonna find real love
And you’re gonna hold your kids
You’ll change the course of generations

“I can’t believe my grandfather invited you,” Emily murmured as Nikolas passed her a glass of champagne. “Are you positive he meant it?”

Edward approached them as he heard Emily’s statement. He cleared his throat. “I did.” He looked at his granddaughter, his beloved little girl all grown up. “I’m a stubborn old man who likes to believe he can control the people in his life. That being said, Emily…my dear, you are my granddaughter no matter whom you may marry. You can’t change that.” He scowled. “You’re a Quartermaine now, and you can’t just walk away from that.”

Nikolas just muttered something under his breath and rolled his eyes.

“Grandfather, I love you so much,” Emily began, but her tears slid down her face as her grandfather fished something from his tuxedo pocket. “That’s my ring.”

“Alice filched it from your jewelry box after you finished getting ready tonight.” He held it out to Nikolas. “So you know that I accept it, young man. But if you ever hurt her…”

Nikolas took the ring and cleared his throat. “Mr. Quartermaine, I know that your approval and blessing means the world to Emily, and as she means the same to me, I hope we can find some common ground.”

“We already have, my boy.” Edward kissed Emily on the cheek. “We both love this woman.” He returned to his wife, who beamed at him.

Emily took a deep breath and held out her hand. “I know you didn’t think I made the right decision—”

“You did right by you,” Nikolas said, softly. He slid the diamond ring back on her finger. “So let me do right by me. I love you, and we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together. All the rest? Doesn’t matter now.”

No, this is not your legacy
This is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you

“I think my mother is trying to scheme my brother out of the CEO position at ELQ,” Dillon sighed as he perused the shrimp platter. “She’s just never satisfied.”

Lulu shrugged. “So we’ll just have to outscheme her. I’ll talk to Nikolas, he’s in business, and he’ll have some ideas to protect Ned.”

Dillon frowned. “You’re pregnant. We can’t be doing our old stuff anymore, Lu—”

She planted her hands on her hips. “Watch it, buddy. Don’t let me hear you say that being pregnant means I can’t wreak havoc on this unsuspecting world. I’ve always been the brains behind this operation, you’re just the brawn.”

“And that,” Dillon mused as he pooped a shrimp in his mouth, “is how we ended up sitting next to an albino you thought was Kristen Bell on a bus to Minneapolis in the middle of winter.”

“I really do love you, you know.” She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. “Chicks and guys come and go, but you and me, Dillon, this is forever. I love my family, they’re amazing, and Will’s been stand-up about this. I don’t know if we’ll get back together, but you’re my best friend in the whole world and I just don’t work without you.”

Dillon grinned. “Well, I will say, Lesley Lu Spencer, with you, there’s never a dull moment.” He tweaked one of his curls. “You really think we can outscheme Tracy Quartermaine?”

Her grin broadened. “We’re sure as hell going to try.”

No, this is not your legacy
This is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you

Robin found Patrick as he was leaving his sister in the capable hands of friends from the hospital. “Hey…you just walked away earlier—”

“I’m sorry.” He took a champagne glass from a passing waiter. “It wasn’t a fair thing to ask you—”

“Patrick.” Her dark eyes were soft. “I don’t know if we’re going to be together again. It seems ridiculous to rule it out because at the end of the day, I still love you and you still love me. And it’s insane to think that it won’t matter down the road. But I just got home. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow, much less next month.”

He nodded. “I can live with that. I know I told you I wouldn’t be around waiting, but I don’t know…” He offered her that dimpled grin that had kept him out of trouble with her for years. “I’ve already waited three years for you to come home. We can be friends. For now.”

And she laughed, because though she had moved on while she was gone, she had never closed her heart to Patrick Drake, and she knew she never would.

Cause you’re my child
You’re my chosen
You are loved
You are loved

On the dance floor, Emily looked at her ring over Nikolas’s shoulder. “I missed this ring,” she murmured. “My hand felt empty without it.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t take your concerns seriously.” He drew back to brush his lips against her cheek. “I didn’t want to see how our families could threaten us, but it’s different for me. I’m all Stefan really has. I knew he’d relent eventually. I…” he hesitated. “I forget sometimes you were adopted.”

“I think…” Emily’s eyes found her parents and she smiled. “I think sometimes, Nikolas, I’m the only one who does remember. I always felt like I had to be something more to deserve their love, to justify their choice.”

“And it’s just not true. They love you regardless of whose blood is in your veins.” He grinned. “I can understand that. I find it simply impossible not to love you, so how can they not feel the same way?”

“We are going to have the best life,” Emily said, her eyes bright with dreams of future happiness.

And I will restore
All that was broken
You are loved
You are loved

“It wasn’t so bad talking to the Quartermaines was it?” Elizabeth asked as Jason finally escaped that side of the room and rejoined her side. “Monica loves you.”

“She’s not really as bad as…” He grimaced. “All the rest of them. I can live with Monica and Emily. And the kid, Dillon, he’s a little goofy, but he’s all right.” He slid his arm around her waist. “I saw you talking to your brother earlier. Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” She leaned her cheek against his shoulder. “Yeah, I really believe that this time.” She looked up at him. “I…want to say something to you, and you don’t have to say it back, except if you want to, but I know—”

He gently covered her mouth with his hand. “Elizabeth, I love you, too.”

She laughed, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You know me better than anyone. And I do love you.”

And just like the seasons change
Winter into spring

//Edward taps his champagne glass in order to make a toast to his granddaughter. Emily blushes as he lavishes praise on her, and begins to cry when he formally announces her engagement.//

You’re bringing new life to your family tree now
Yes you are
You are

//Laura comes up behind Lulu and wraps an arm around her shoulders. She touches the pearls around her neck and the two share a smile. Luke looks both proud and worried.//

No, this will be your legacy
This will be your destiny
Yesterday did not define you

//Patrick and Robin are dancing, and he dips her almost too low. She bursts into laughter, and as Patrick twirls her back around, she catches her dad’s resigned smile.//

No, this will be your legacy
This will be your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you

//Elizabeth whispers something into Jason’s ear and he grins. She’ll keep that promise later, he tells her. It’s the least she can do after he got into a tuxedo for this.//

And just like the seasons change
Winter into spring

//Robin pulls Lulu away from her family over to Elizabeth and Emily and surprises the younger woman with a teddy bear, promising to stick by her. They’ve known Lulu since she was a little girl, and she’s always been like a little sister to them. Lulu starts to cry and throws her arms around them. How did a girl get so lucky to know so many wonderful people? Her baby is going to have the best family. //

You’re bringing new life to your family tree now

THE END

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Author’s Note

In December 2005, I was introduced to the gorgeous dimples of Patrick Drake, and shortly after his first scene with Elizabeth, I began to write the first scene in this story. It wasn’t until I reached the end of the first chapter that I even knew what I was going to do with this story — but I wrote Robin, Lulu, Emily and Elizabeth commiserating about the fathers and suddenly knew.

I thought about stringing this out until I figured out if Lulu and Will should be back together, to reunite Patrick and Robin, but it was never about those specific things. It was about four women, their love for their family and friends, and getting them past the struggle.

I grew up on GH in the 90s when it was this amazing mixture of action and adventure, family, love, friendship, secrets and drama. People were honestly friends who loved one another, not plot points on the way to the next story, so Daughters is kind of my nod to that old history. These relationships and friendships still exist under the muck on GH, because you can’t kill history. It’s probably the reason I keep going back.

Thanks for reading. If you’ve enjoyed it all the way through, please think about dropping me even a brief line to let me know.

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