Inspiration
I don’t think you can walk away from this song with anything other than the thought — there’s a thin line between love and hate. The passion you feel for someone has to go somewhere. It either fades or it builds into a different kind intensity — rage. I think of the way Jason and Elizabeth interacted for most of 2003, after they’d spent most of the fall of 2002 ignoring each other. It seemed to take a different tack once they were in new relationships — the anger Liz had when she learned he was dating Courtney, and the baffled fury when Elizabeth refused to believe Jason about Ric — I always read it as jealousy from both of them underlying it (initially — then Jason really does have a right to be ticked at Liz because GIRL).
So I thought — well, let’s just see what happens when you start to argue in an enclosed space and there’s nowhere to go.
WAYS TO LISTEN: YouTube | Spotify | Apple Music
From the Eras Tour: imgonnagetyouback x dress mashup
Rated NC-17
February 2003
It was the last place he wanted to be. A crowded, dark room with dim lighting, smoke-filled air dominated by music he didn’t care for and conversations he wasn’t interested in.
This was Jason Morgan’s idea of hell.
But it was opening night, and he’d made a promise to his best friend who would never let him hear the end of it if he ducked out on her tonight.
Carly set down a bottle of Rolling Rock, the top already popped off, her scarlet lips curved into a knowing smile. “I can’t believe you actually came.”
Jason picked up the bottle, brought it to his mouth. “I said I would,” he muttered.
Delighted, she leaned over the bar, folding her arms. “You did it for me, and I love you. But tell me the truth, Jase, you’re already counting down to when you can leave.”
He looked at her, made a face, then took a long pull from the bottle. “No comment.” He turned slightly on the bar stool, sweeping his eyes over the dark room, though he could barely make out anyone’s faces. He was absolutely counting down — and couldn’t even start until Courtney arrived — or he really would never hear the end of it.
He turned back to ask Carly if he’d heard from her sister-in-law just in time for Carly to scowl. “I can’t believe it. The absolute nerve.”
He turned, expecting to see Faith Roscoe or maybe even Brenda who took great joy in aggravating Carly. He looked at the entrance, then stilled, his hand tightening around the bottle.
Lilac short skirt
The one that fits me like skin
She was maybe thirty feet away, her back turned to him, but he’d know her anywhere. The chestnut hair, curled and bouncing around the face he couldn’t yet see — the slim hands reaching towards the hostess stand, with the long fingers and red nails.
The slender body in a shimmering dark-red dress, the glitter catching even the dimmest of lights with every slight move she had. He’d only touched her once — only been able to slide his fingers over curves and dips, but he’d memorized every bit of it. He’d waited so long to touch her, to feel her soft skin, to hear the way she breathed when he kissed her—
Did your research
You knew the price goin’ in
.She turned, and though he’d known it all along, he could see her face for the first time. Her full lips, curved in a smile, painted the same red as her dress. Her eyes, so wide and blue and deep, darkened with some smoky makeup the way it had been that night in her studio, when she’d looked at him, when for just a moment, everything in his world was perfect.
He couldn’t see what she was saying, but she was glowing, radiating happiness. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked like that — not with him. His chest was tight, and it hurt to even remember those final moments, when she’d looked furious, shattered, devastated—
When she’d left him. When she’d confronted him at Kelly’s, and he’d realized there had been another chance with her, she just hadn’t told him until it was too late and he’d drowned some of that loneliness in someone else.
“I can’t believe she has the nerve to show up here,” Carly continued. “I thought he had a better sense of character than that.”
Her voice drew Jason back, and he looked at his friend in confusion at first—then back at the entrance, realizing only now that Elizabeth wasn’t alone.
She’d arrived with someone else, and it was him she was smiling at. Him that she was touching, her hand against his chest, sliding up slightly —
She was here with Ric Lansing.
And I’ll tell you one thing, honey
I can tell when somebody still wants me, come clean
Someone was watching her.
She was used to that feeling — that prickling on her neck, the shiver that would roll down her spine, the certainty that someone she couldn’t see was focused on her, thinking about her, judging her. It had been baked into her skin during those long terrible months after her rape, and it had taken even longer to shed that awareness.
And she knew it was wrong — that what she was feeling was her own self-consciousness, her own insecurities attacking from within, trying to destroy the fragile confidence she’d fought to rebuild. But every once in a while —
She would turn, and she would know it was true.
Like tonight.
Standing in the entrance to The Cellar nightclub on its grand opening night, Elizabeth felt that telltale prickling, and shifted just slightly so that she could see the inside of the room, all the way to the bar. And out of the corner of her eye, just at the edge—
She saw a familiar figure through the smoke and dim light — that long, lean, muscular body poured into black pants, black jacket and — she was almost sure of it — black shirt beneath it. Was it a smooth, black linen shirt the way it had been at Sonny’s fraudulent service? Or a black buttoned shirt with the top collar undone, revealing his throat—
Her mouth was dry, and she licked her lips, chasing away the sensation of thirst. Of hunger. She’d only touched him once with the intent to explore, to feel the soft skin stretched over the steel muscles—
She forced herself to focus higher, not to linger on all the lines of a body she’d dreamed about but never experienced—holding her head at this angle was awkward, and all she’d confirmed was that Jason Morgan was in the room which might have been enough for her senses to go on high alert. It didn’t mean he was watching her—
Until she’d reached his face, the chiseled lines and slash of his mouth pressed together in an unhappy line, the hard glint of his eyes—
Focused directly on her. She jerked her head all the way around, cutting herself off from even her peripheral vision.
Standing at the bar like something’s funny, bubbly
Once you fix your face, I’m goin’ in
She forced herself to focus, to remember why she was here — and who she was with. She lifted her hand to touch Ric’s upper shoulder, and he turned to look at her, flashing that warm smile, the appreciation clear in his dark eyes. It wasn’t his fault she was picturing another set of eyes, icy blue that only softened when he felt safe.
When was the last time he’d looked at her like that? And what right did he have to look at her at all? He’d been the one to leave. The one who’d forgotten his promise to try, to respect her —
To tell the truth.
He’d been the one not to come home all those long nights, watching Courtney strip or babysitting Brenda or keeping Carly of all people in the loop. Carly who had never kept a secret in her damn life. Carly who had turned Sonny in to the FBI.
Bitterness swelled, dousing the heat that had built thinking about Jason. Gorgeous body, sure. But he was a lying asshole who had watched his sister-in-law strip, then slept with her before her husband had even cleared his things from the apartment.
Not like Ric, who had showered Elizabeth with attention from the beginning, singling her out and making her feel important. So what if she didn’t quite feel that same tug, that same please fuck me tonight feeling she’d known before.
She’d take honesty and respect over lust and attraction any day of the week.
Whether I’m gonna be your wife or
Gonna smash up your bike, I
Haven’t decided yet
And just so Jason would know — just so the world would know, Elizabeth slid her hand from Ric’s shoulder to the lapel of his suit jacket, then continued the slide, towards Ric’s waist until her fingers ran out of fabric to stroke. He looked at her, his eyes darkened, his smile curving in a new way.
“We should sit down and get some drinks,” Elizabeth said, tilting her head in a way to ensure her hair slid down over her shoulder, left bare by her strapless dress. “And you can show off everything else you’ve done to get this place ready.”
“That sounds like a great idea.” He leaned down, brushed his mouth across her cheekbone, and she tried to force the tingles and shivers, the flutters that had always flooded her body when Jason had even come within a foot of her.
What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she feel the right things for the right guy?
Ric put his hand at the curve of her waist, turning her slightly, and Elizabeth allowed herself to be guided into the main area of the club, facing the bar —
Letting her gaze find Jason, still watching her, and their eyes meeting. She held the contact as she sauntered into the room next to Ric, next to a man who made time for her and called when he said he would, and didn’t run out of the room when someone else snapped their fingers.
But I’m gonna get you back
If she thought Jason would be flustered or even embarrassed to be caught watching her, she was wrong. He didn’t look away, or pretend to be watching anything or anyone else. He held her gaze in the short walk towards the table Ric had reserved for a long beat, then his eyes swept down to the ground, slowly rising, so that it was even more obvious that he was looking at her from head to toe, then met her eyes again.
She let one corner of her mouth curve up in a knowing smirk. She hoped he’d choke on it — everything she’d handed him on a silver platter and he’d thrown away for a cheap blonde with no loyalty, brains or common sense.
She took the seat that kept her in full view of the bar, breaking her stare with Jason, to deepen her smile at Ric and lean towards him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the blonde in question approach Jason from the back of the club, maybe the staff entrance. And relished the way he didn’t look at Courtney right away — not until she pulled on his sleeve. Only then did Jason turn around, with his back to the rest of the room.
Let him enjoy that hollow-brained Barbie. She was going to have a good time with a man who wanted to be with her.
Whether I’m gonna curse you out or
Take you back to my house, I
Haven’t decided yet
He was still looking at her.
Courtney tapped her fingers restlessly on the bar, her jaw clenched, staring directly at Jason — at the back of his head as he’d swiveled around on the stool again, pretending to watch Carly walk around the room, his focus sharpening like a laser when Carly had paused for a moment at Elizabeth and Ric’s table — Carly had directed her attention to the lawyer — and Jason’s glare had only intensified when Ric had said something that must have hurried Carly on her way while reaching for Elizabeth’s hands, kissing her finger tips.
She brought her hand down hard, causing the glass on the bar to rattle, and Jason turned, looked at the bar then at her — and she forced herself to smile. Had he forgotten she was there? Asshole. “Sorry,” she said sweetly. “My hand slipped. I know you hate being here. Why don’t we head out?” She danced her fingers along the sleeve of his jacket. “We can head to my place and be alone.”
“What? Sure.” Jason lifted his beer, finished it, and set it back on the bar. “I’ll be right back.”
“But we were just—” Courtney didn’t even bother to finish her statement — she was speaking to air. Jason had slid off the stool and was halfway down the hallway leading to the restrooms. Whatever. If he had to pee, he could have said that. She returned to her martini — then hesitated, twisting in her seat.
Carly had returned to Ric’s table — and was now sitting across from him, having a conversation — sitting in Elizabeth’s seat. The brunette was gone.
Courtney pressed her lips together, took a deep breath. She had three choices. Ignore and wait for Jason to return — and never ask any questions. Charge off to find him and catch him in the act of whatever he was doing.
Or leave.
She picked up her drink, and considered her options.
But I’m gonna get you back
Carly had refurbished the existing speakeasy that had existed beneath Kelly’s almost a century earlier — the main club floor and then a few hidden back rooms that had likely once held the liquor. Some of the rooms had been converted to washrooms, another for her office, and then two other closed doors lined the small, narrow hallway that led back into the club proper.
Elizabeth was in one of those washrooms, contemplating her entire existence.
She patted her hands dry with the paper towel, then crumpled and tossed it in the bin next to the door. She looked back at the mirror, then fished in her purse to find her lipstick to reapply it.
It was exhausting, being on display. Putting on a show. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, the tip of the dark red lipstick hovering just over her mouth. She looked angry, tired. Not sleek and sexy.
She looked how she felt.
She shouldn’t have to force feelings. Shouldn’t have to pretend. What was she going to do? Go home with Ric? Let him touch her, let him—
She dropped the lipstick in the sequined clutch that fit neatly in the palm of her hand. Whatever she was going to do, she’d need Ric for the ride home — nothing more than her studio key had fit in this stupid little thing. Lipstick, a twenty, and a key. All a girl on a date needed.
With a heavy sigh, Elizabeth reached for the door handle, already planning the excuses in her head.
When she exited the bathroom, she turned towards the main bar—and stopped dead.
I, I hear the whispers in your eyes
I’ll make you wanna think twice
Jason was leaning against the wall, blocking her escape. Almost casually posing, his upper back and shoulders pressed against the wall, slouching just enough so that he’d needed to arch out his lower back and legs, shove his feet resting flat against the floor almost halfway across the hallway, his hands tucked in the pockets of his black pants.
Almost casual except for the way he was looking at her. The burning in his eyes that might have been anger. Or something else. Something she’d never seen in his ways — not quite this hot or insistent. There’d been a hint of it that night at the studio.
She hesitated, unsure what exactly to do. She’d stoked this fire, hadn’t she? She knew what she’d been doing — and realized now she’d thought he’d go away silently. That he wouldn’t say anything. What he’d always done.
And even now — what was he going to do? What did he ever do?
Elizabeth lifted her chin, sauntered towards him, closing the few feet that had separated them. When she could go no further unless she climbed over his legs, she stopped, and planted one fist on her hip.
“Are you going to move?”
You’ll find that you were never not mine
You’re mine
Locking eyes with her, never breaking contact, Jason straightened, rising to his full height which wasn’t that tall — except when you were five foot two. Her heels had added another four inches, but he still loomed over her, forcing her to raise her chin even higher to maintain the contact.
Now he stood directly in the middle of the hallway, leaving a sliver of space on either side. Limiting her options even further.
What was his game?
She took another step towards him, the space between their bodies more theoretical than physical when she finally stopped. “That’s not what I meant,” she murmured.
The corner of his mouth curved just slightly. “I’m sorry. You should have been more clear.”
“Is that the problem?” One eyebrow arched, even as her pulse skittered madly, her heart racing so fast she could feel the change in her breathing. “Clarity?”
“I understand if that’s difficult for you. You’ve never been that good at it.”
Elizabeth inhaled sharply, and something burned differently in her throat. Shame, regret, anger all swirled together, rising until she turned away and headed down the hallway. There had to be a back exit. Screw this. Screw all of this.
Small talk, big love
Act like I don’t care what you did
He didn’t know why he’d followed her into the back of the club, why he’d waited outside the bathroom door — it had been nothing but pure instinct guiding every step of his feet, and he’d leaned into it because well—she’d kept matching him. Word for word, action for action.
Until he’d said something stupid that broke the spell. When the words had hit her, and he could almost see her flinch. He hadn’t been aiming for that, but it’d been a direct hit all the same. Her eyes had widened, her nostrils flared, and there’d been a hint of something in her eyes that had him wanting to drag the words back.
Then she’d turned and walked away, and his temper had snapped.
After all the games, all the back and forth with Zander, the way she’d walked out on him, refused to talk to him, thrown tantrums over Courtney, constantly casting him as the villain in her story, never once seeing that she had played the same role in his. He’d kept his composure through all of it. For six months as she’d played hot and cold, never sending the same signals twice, and he’d never lost his temper.
But tonight? Tonight she had started it and he was tired of watching her play just long enough to pull him in, and then walk away like he was nothing.
“Does he know?” he called after her, and Elizabeth halted nearly ten feet down the hall. Didn’t turn back. “Does he know you’re thinking about me?”
Elizabeth slowly turned around, facing him again. He couldn’t see her expression clearly, but that arch of her brow was unmistakable. “Does she know?”
I’m an Aston Martin
That you steered straight into the ditch
Then ran and hid
There was silence after she tossed his barb right back at him. It hung between them, lingering as if neither of them had intended the turn in their interaction.
They’d never spoken to each other like this, so sharply, so angrily, with each word a jagged shard of glass flying through the air, leaving thousands of shallow cuts, each drawing blood that threatened to drown them both.
Could he see from this distance, in this lighting that she was trembling from head to toe? Her heart was racing, her pulse skittering with nerves that couldn’t be contained, and something was burning beneath her skin, boiling past the point of no return. And if he turned and walked away from her now, she might just disappear, melting into the cheap, thin carpet beneath their feet, never to be seen again?
Instead of walking away, he kept his eyes on hers, walked towards her. Slowly. Giving her the chance to run. To flee for the back exit.
She remained glued to the spot, waiting with a mixture of terror, nerves, and hope, wondering what he’d do when he reached her.
Jason stopped inches away, saying nothing. He lifted his hand to her face, cupping her jaw in his palm, his thumb sweeping across her bottom lip, and she bit back the protest when he stopped touching her and held up his thumb, the smear of her maroon lipstick across his skin. “You put this on for him.”
It wasn’t what she’d expected, and some of her flutters dissipated as her brows drew together, bewildered. “What?”
“The makeup. You wear it like this when you’re hiding. So that they look at your face and not your eyes.” He brought his thumb together with his forefinger, smearing the lipstick. “What don’t you want him to see?”
And I’ll tell you one thing, honey
Her beautiful eyes shimmered with a hint of tears, and she dropped her gaze, looking away, drawing that bottom lip between her teeth and biting down hard. Another direct hit.
Only this time he’d been aiming.
Would she hit back? Or would she give up whatever game they were playing?
Elizabeth’s breathing hitched and the muscles beneath her pale skin tightened, as she swallowed hard. When she looked at him again, the tears were still there, but the hurt had slid into irritation, and her lips curved into the smirk that drove him insane. “You’re in the back hallway with me and not out front with your friends. What are you hiding?”
He would have flinched from the accuracy, but he’d gotten there a step before her — after all, she’d come here with a purpose — he’d been the one following her. He already knew where he didn’t want to be. Now he felt his own lips twitch. “Is that the best you can do?”
“You never wanted to see what I could do.” Elizabeth stepped to one side, as if she planned to slide past him, return to the club, but he wasn’t going to let her go that easy. He’d done that once before. A thousand times.
His arm whipped out, flattening his hand against the wall, and she huffed. “I’m tired of this game—”
“That’s right. A game,” Jason said, and she looked at him, with the nerve to look confused. “I’m not the one who started it. You are.”
“Am I?” Elizabeth lifted a hand to his suit jacket, delicately holding it between her fingers, sliding up and down the fabric, slowly. “I turned around and you were looking at me. All I did was give you something to watch. And since you followed me back here…I’d say you not only started it, but changed the rules.” Something darkened in her eye. “You like to do that. Change the rules when I don’t even know we’re playing.”
I can take the upper hand and touch your body
His mouth tightened. “Something else you started.” She stiffened, but he continued, “Or maybe you don’t remember Zander.”
“Maybe you don’t remember answering your phone,” she retorted back. “Tell me, Jason.” She leaned in, her voice going low, almost breathy. “What did Carly need that day? What was so important that you had to leave right away, never mind the fact that I’d asked you to come over. Never mind the fact that you’d nearly kissed me, but forgot I existed the second that phone rang.” She tapped his shirt twice, then left her finger on his chest. “I made you no promises that were broken that night. I didn’t and don’t belong to you.”
She lifted her hand, placed it over his forearm, gently tugging it down to let her pass. He let it slide down just an inch, then stopped it, tensing the muscles so that she couldn’t get past him. “I never wanted you to belong to me. I didn’t want to own you. If that’s what you’re looking for—” Now he let his arm fall, then stepped away, turning so that his back faced the wall. “Go. I won’t stop you.”
Elizabeth stood there, frozen, her fingers curled into fists at her side, then turned just her neck so that their eyes met. “You never wanted me at all. Thanks for making that clear.”
He snagged her wrist as she started to pass — not tightly, not harshly, but just encircled her wrist in a loose grip that she could have broken if she’d wanted to. But she didn’t. “That’s a lie. You stopped us that night in your studio—”
“And you spent weeks running from me as fast as you could,” she breathed. “You made me think I hadn’t….that there was still something. You kissed me until I couldn’t breathe, and you walked away. And then never touched me again.” Her voice wobbled. “You told me you’d try, and then you never came home. And you lied and you lied and you lied. Then told me I didn’t matter. Who’s playing games now?”
Flip the script and leave you like a dumb house party
He inhaled sharply, tightened his grip when she started to pull away. “I didn’t—” Jason swallowed hard, because now they’d come down to the root of it all, hadn’t they? The mixed signals, missed opportunities — it all came back to the choice he’d made. “I didn’t lie. I didn’t tell you Sonny—I never said it—”
“A loophole, I’m sure you’d hope I’d notice.” She dipped her head down. “No, but you let me believe it. You let me worry for you. Let me feel sorry for Carly who must have enjoyed watching me try to look after her, take her food, clean up the penthouse—” She closed her eyes, shook her head. “You made me feel so stupid. You both did. I just didn’t expect better from her.” She looked at him, and the tears shimmering in her eyes. “Was it revenge? Did it feel good to make me feel that way after last summer, after Lucky? Did you get a little thrill when I thought you were—” She stopped.
Jason swallowed. “I didn’t want to lie to you. Didn’t want you to think I—” He stopped. What was the point? “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
She pressed her lips together, nodded. “I know. You said that, too. That it didn’t matter. That it wasn’t about me. And I felt even more stupid, selfish for worrying about myself, and you were right, of course. I didn’t factor into the decision at all. You probably didn’t even remember I was there most of the time. Hours I waited that night, hours while you went to the hospital to talk to Alexis, while you walked Courtney home — then when you finally bothered to come back to the penthouse, you stumbled over my suitcase and seemed to be surprised I was even still there. Did you think I’d be gone already? Was I supposed to know Alcazar’s shooting was my eviction notice—”
“Stop. Stop—” Jason tugged on her hand, gently but firmly and she came forward a few steps until he could touch her, until he could lift her chin to look at her eyes. “I couldn’t come back there, I couldn’t look at you and know I was lying. I couldn’t stand it. I knew you’d leave. I knew you’d never forgive me—”
“You never—you never even tried — you just let me walk away and I told myself that’s proof, that’s how you know — you always argued o-over Lucky and Zander, but this? You just walked away and you married Brenda and you slept with Courtney, a-and I didn’t matter at all—”
“You did—”
“And I tried to be okay with it, I t-tried—and Ric, you know—he calls and he tells me I’m beautiful and he makes time for me, he doesn’t make me guess all the time and I hate that all I can think about is you—I hate you for looking at me, for making me think—but this is just your sick, twisted game, isn’t it? To make me so crazy that I throw away a perfectly good date and you’ll go out there with her and have a laugh about how you led me on again—”
He couldn’t stand it, couldn’t listen to her anymore. He cupped her jaw, dragged her against him, and kissed her.
Or I might just love you ’til the end
It was wrong. All of it. Watching her all night, following her to the back hallway — from the moment Jason had become aware of Elizabeth’s presence, he’d done nothing but follow his baser impulses—
And she’d met him at every step, firing back, calling his bluff, and even now—maybe she’d meant to push him away, but her fingers curled into his shirt instead, and she opened her mouth, arched against him, panting when he backed against the wall, ran one hand down the side of her body to her thigh, lifting her leg at his waist so that he could press against her more firmly.
She gasped, when he pulled away slightly, her eyes glazed, slightly unfocused, her lipstick smudged. Her lips started to round, but he didn’t want to hear her tell him to stop so he kissed her again, taking her neck in his hand so his thumb brushed over her pulse point, beating rapidly.
“N-Not—” She moaned when his other hand skirted beneath the hem of her dress, touching her soft skin. “Anyone could—” Elizabeth brought her hands to his jaw and gently tugged so that he was forced to look at her, and he braced himself for her to bring them back to their senses. To reality.
“Not here,” she murmured, sweeping her thumb across his bottom lip. “Anyone could see us.”
Whether I’m gonna be your wife or
She hadn’t wanted to say anything at all, hadn’t wanted to stop him, to give him to think, to turn on that magnificent mind that always weighed out the risks before he acted. But—
Jason kissed her again, briefly with his hands tangling in her hair, before reaching down, lacing their fingers together. “Come on.”
She didn’t know where he would take her. Out back? In the alley? Carly’s office—
But he opened a door just a few feet away — a supply closet with two racks half-filled. She only had a moment to take in the room, illuminated by a single swinging light bulb from the middle of the room. Then Jason closed the door, and kissed her, tugging her to the corner of the room, where there was a small table with a few empty boxes. With the sweep of his hand, he shoved them to the floor, sending them skittering across the room.
“Oh—” She gasped when he wrapped both hands around her rib cage and lifted her like she weighed nothing more than a feather, then set her on the edge of the table, parting her legs and kissing her again — he’d maneuvered them into the room in less than thirty seconds, and her head was spinning from it all.
But she wasn’t complaining. She sank her hands back in his hair, losing herself in the way he tasted, in the weight of his body against hers, hard and heavy, and warm. She could kiss him for hours, slight bitterness from the beer he’d been nursing all evening, the sweet wine she’d been sipping, all mixing together into something so intoxicating she felt like she was floating, drifting along, outside of time and place.
Gonna smash up your bike, I
It was madness. All of it. But he’d always known if she gave him the slightest hint, the smallest signal, he’d dive in, headfirst, without a care for anything that came after. He hadn’t thought about the woman he’d left sitting at the bar, and if she walked in right now, he might not even recognize her.
He’d gone back in time, maybe, to a period when he’d only cared about what he wanted, what felt good, and not giving a damn about anyone—except the woman in his arms. He needed her to know, needed her to believe that none of what she thought was real, that it had always been her for him, and that if she just gave him a chance to show her, Jason would never let her regret.
Haven’t decided yet
Her quick hands had slid underneath his suit jacket, sliding it off his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He traced the line of her leg, from thigh to her calf, letting his fingertips slide up and down the sensitive skin. She broke their kiss, her head falling back against the wall, her neck arching when he slid his fingers all the way up, flirting with the edge of her panties, underneath, then back again just quickly, teasing.
Her fingers dug into his shoulders, dragging him back to kiss her, and her nails bit in hard when the thrust of his tongue matched those of her fingers, sliding in and out, stroking the fire that had been simmering for hours, ignited when she’d felt his eyes on her—
“I c-can’t—” She squirmed slightly, and Jason cupped her jaw, sweeping his thumb over her lower lip.
“Look at me,” he murmured. “I want to see, I want to see you.”
But I’m gonna get you back
Her breathing came faster and faster, her heart pounding so furiously she could feel it throbbing everywhere, in her throat, in her ears, everything clenching tighter and tighter until she broke, arching against him, her legs clenched around his waist.
“It’s not enough,” she managed, dodging his mouth when he tried to kiss her again. “Not enough—” Her hands went to the buckle at his belt, fumbling to unclasp it, and he let go over long enough to help, sliding the belt free, and then she was already sliding down his zipper, pushing his pants down. It was a fast furious scramble to shed enough clothes quickly, as if they both knew if they took a single moment to breathe, to think —
They might stop.
And the moment would be lost.
Whether I’m gonna flip you off or
Pull you into the closet
He slid in hard, shocking the breath out of her at the movement, and she arched her neck, the cascading sparks and shivers strangling another gasp when Jason’s hand slid under her knee, lifting her leg higher.
Oh this was insane, but it was intoxicating, addictive, and Elizabeth never wanted it to stop, never wanted it to be over, could have lived the rest of her days in this room. All the almost kisses and brushes and touches over the years had driven her mad — there was no other reason for where she found herself.
I haven’t decided yet
But I’m gonna get you back
He wasn’t a man who dreamed in pictures or sensations or color, not the way she did, but he’d be lying if he hadn’t thought about this moment — what it would be like if he finally was able to touch her, to hold her, to consume her the way he’d wanted to for years—
And none of those thoughts came close to reality, to how good it felt to bury himself inside her, to dip his mouth in the crook of her neck, her body pressed hard against him, her arms and legs clinging like a vine desperate to get closer.
He wanted it to last forever, to postpone the inevitable after but he was a starving man feasting after a famine, and now all that mattered was dragging her over the edge with him.
I, I hear the whispers in your eyes
I’ll make you wanna think twice
It began like a pinprick of light in the dark, twirling and spiraling faster and louder with every spin until it consumed everything in its wake like a supernova engulfing the universe, shattering everything that had come before so that nothing would ever be the same again—
She bit down hard to hold in her cries, tasting the metallic bitterness of her own blood, her nails digging into him so hard that she had to have broken the skin, but he showed no signs of pain, just burying his head down in her shoulder, his body shuddering when it was over, hers trembling, the shivers sliding from head to toe to her fingertips.
You’ll find that you were never not mine
You’re mine
He didn’t know how long they stood there, curled around each other, hiding from the outside world. But the fever had receded, and when he raised his head to find her gaze, to get some sense of what she was thinking, he saw his own uncertainty reflected back.
What the hell had just happened?
I can feel it comin’, hummin’ in the way you move
Push the reset button, we’re becoming something new
Jason cupped her jaw with both hands, his thumb sweeping over her swollen lips, her dark lipstick long gone—and when she mirrored his movement, touching his mouth, he wondered if he was wearing some of that maroon red.
Her legs slipped slightly, bonelessly, dangling towards the ground, her hands sliding down his chest, slightly glistening with sweat.
Say you got somebody, I’ll say, “I got someone too”
Even if it’s handcuffed, I’m leaving here with you
Jason slid his arm around her waist, straightening and bringing her with him so that she didn’t slide off the table—neither of them breaking eye contact, watching each other warily. Waiting for the other to make the first move, to set the tone for whatever happened next.
Bygones will be bygone, eras fadin’ into gray (fadin’ into gray)
She swallowed hard, then licked her lips, and he nearly kissed her again, nearly started the insanity once more. But they couldn’t—for so many reasons —
But the most important were the footsteps rapidly approaching down the hallway.
His hand lashed out, flipping the door lock just moments before it twisted and someone tried to open it. Jason and Elizabeth both stared at the rattling knob, then at each other.
“Jason? Are you in there?”
We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game (oh)
When neither of them answered right away, the only sound in the room the mixture of their breathing, she spoke again, more annoyed. “I have a key, you know. So answer or I’m coming in—”
“Yes.” Jason stepped away from Elizabeth, his hands sweeping down from her shoulders with some regret, before he stooped to reach for his pants and briefs. “Yeah, Carly. I’m in here.”
There was a pause. “Are you alone?”
Told my friends, “I hate you but I love you just the same”
Jason looked to Elizabeth again, her hands now gripping the edge of the table, the hem of her skirt still shoved to her waist, but she’d pressed her legs together, the flush fading from her upper body, her eyes dropping to the floor.
What was he supposed to say?
“You didn’t answer me, so I’m going to assume it’s no. I already knew that, so thanks for not lying. Look, you got about five minutes, maybe, before someone who isn’t me comes back here. In case you forgot, you both came here with other people. So whatever you’re doing, knock it off and get out of there. Don’t do anything stupid.” There was another pause. “Unless it’s too late for that. Jason?” The doorknob rattled again.
Pick your poison, babe
I’m poison either way
“I heard you, Carly,” Jason said when Elizabeth remained silent. “Go away.”
“I’m going. I hope you know what you’re doing. Idiot.”
Her footsteps moved away from the door, fading into silence.
Elizabeth slid off the table, and he came forward when she wobbled slightly, her knees buckling briefly until she could get her bearings. “I’m fine,” she said, her voice oddly flat. She held on to the table with one hand, and dragged her skirt down with her other.
She still didn’t look at him, staring straight ahead. “I-I can’t go b-back out there. But you can.”
His chest tightened, and he forced himself to speak. “Is that what you want? For me to go away like this didn’t happen?”
Whether I’m gonna be your wife or
Gonna smash up your bike, I
Haven’t decided yet
She looked at him finally, one arm wrapped around her midriff, the other still tugging at the hem. “I don’t know. Is that you what you want?”
“I asked you first—”
“And I did what you always do.” Elizabeth lifted her chin, even as her mouth still trembled. “Turned it around and made it your burden to carry, your responsibility. Refused to tell you how I feel, what I want, what I’m thinking.”
He exhaled on a harsh breath. Right back to where they’d begun. “I guess that answers my question.”
She pressed her lips together, even as they curved into a humorless smile. “You would say that.”
But I’m gonna get you back
“Is this how it’s going to be?” he demanded, taking a step towards her. “Is this really what you want? Every time we come near each other, we argue—and now—” Now, could there be any going back? Could he ever see her, and not remember this, remembering how it had felt to hold, to touch her —
“No. I don’t want it this way,” Elizabeth managed. “I just—I don’t know if there are any other choices. Because Carly asked you if you were alone, and you didn’t answer.”
“What?” Jason straightened, his focus sharpening. “What are you talking about?”
“She knew you weren’t. We both knew she knew I was in here. And you said nothing. You didn’t want her to know.” Her eyes glimmered with tears again. “You answered her calls and you left, and you told her where you were, and she always knew what was going on. You trust her. You want to keep her in your life. But me? You pull away. You avoid questions. You walk away. You tell me to leave. You marry another woman. You sleep with someone. After you’ve told me you’d try,” she added, when he opened his mouth. “I know I haven’t always been fair, but every time I try to push my way into your world, you close the door. ”
“I—That’s not—”
“No? You kissed me at Vista Point, then walked away and wanted me to pretend that never happened.” She shook her head. “You grab me tonight, you kiss me, you drag me in here, and you make love to me like the world will end if you don’t — and she knocks on the door, and it all goes away. So I ask you again, what other choice do we have but for you to go back to your world, and for me to get out of yours for good?”
Choose Your Ending
Happy | Tragic
*cackles*
Like this:
Like Loading...
