February 15, 2014

This entry is part 5 of 5 in the Noel

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore,
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.


Jason slowly opened his eyes and sat up. Sunlight streamed through his window, telling him it was morning. The long night seemed to have ended but had it all been a dream? Had he seen visions of holidays past, present and future?

He rubbed his hands over his eyes and reached for his cell phone. He would call Sam, she would be still celebrating December 24 with the time difference.

“Hello?” a groggy male voice answered. It was not Sam’s. It was not her brother’s.

Jason closed his phone and gently set it on the table. Somehow, in the scheme of things, it didn’t matter anymore.

He needed to see his sister.


Emily was curled up on one of the patio chairs when he approached the house from the back. She was bundled up in a pink parka, a white hat pulled over her head. She raised her eyes at the sound of his boots crunching in the snow. “Jason,” she murmured. She held out a hand. “How do you always know when I need you?”

“I wanted to check on you.” Jason took her hand and knelt in front of her. “How are you?”

“Oh…Jason…” Emily sighed. “I thought I was at rock bottom last night. I was so…so tired. So miserable.” She tilted her head back to look at the sky. “If I could have only known how much worse it could get…”

“Emily…” Jason prompted. “What happened?”

“There was a call from the police station this morning,” Emily murmured. “Justus was seeing a client down there and happened to be there when the news was called in. Lucky’s dead, Jason. He was found in an alley.”

Jason’s heart sunk. “Elizabeth?”

“Devastated. I went over there–but she wouldn’t let me in. She won’t let her grandmother in, I’m so scared for, Jason. She barely survived losing him once but it’s so different now. They had this whole life planned and I’m just…he was my best friend, Jason. Nikolas’s brother. It doesn’t seem fair.”

“I’m sorry,” Jason murmured. “Do they know what happened?”

Emily shook her head. “I’m so scared for her. She’s so proud, Jason and I don’t know what she’s going to do without Lucky’s income. They’ve been cutting her hours at the hospital and she and Lucky cashed in his insurance policy months ago to pay bills.” She closed her eyes. “He wasn’t killed in the line of duty, so she won’t even get anything from the department.”

“It’s going to be okay,” Jason told her. He squeezed her hand. “We’ll find a way to take care of her.”

Emily frowned and sniffled. “How–you don’t remember Elizabeth do you?” she asked, startled. “Did you get your memory back?”

“No,” Jason said honestly. “Not entirely but I’ve had some…flashes of memories and I know that Elizabeth and I have been friends for years.” He stood and pulled her to her feet. “But Elizabeth isn’t the only thing on your mind.”

“It doesn’t matter right now.” Emily cleared her throat. “Where’s Sam?”

“In Hawaii. We’re not…we’re not seeing each other anymore.”

Emily blinked. “When did that happen?” she asked as Jason guided her down the steps and towards the garages where his bike was parked.

“About an hour ago. It’s not important, Em.”

“But…” Emily shook her head. “I don’t understand, Jase. What’s going on? Where are we going?”

“We’re going to see Elizabeth and what’s going on is that you’re my sister and I love you and what’s going on with you is important to me, okay?” He helped her onto the bike. “I know you’re upset about Nikolas–”

“It’s not really Nikolas anymore,” Emily sighed. “It’s my whole life.” She wrapped her arms around his waist. “What happened with Sam, Jason?”

“I’m not really sure,” Jason said quietly. “But this morning, when I woke up, things were different.”


Elizabeth was curled up in a corner of the couch, staring at a mindless Christmas cartoon. Cameron was toddling around the apartment, playing with the few toys she and Lucky had been able to afford.

Her eyes were dazed and slightly unfocused, her cheeks tearstained and the shadows beneath her eyes more pronounced than ever. In the background, the phone kept ringing and the answering machine kept recording sympathy calls from friends, calls of concern from her grandmother, from Lucky’s partner Jesse and his girlfriend Maxie. Nikolas had pounded her on her door a little while ago and Emily had knocked timidly.

She heard none of these things or the click of the door as the lock was undone and the door swung up. Jason stood and slipped his tools back in his jeans pocket and let Emily enter before him.

“Oh, Liz!” Emily rushed in and pulled her friend into a hug. “Honey, I’m so sorry…”

Elizabeth turned and focused on Emily. “He left me again,” she murmured. Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes and slid down her cheeks. “He meant everything to me and he’s gone.”
Cameron toddled up to Jason and remembered him from the diner the night before. He held his hands up in the air. “Up!” he demanded. “Up! Up!”

Almost absently, Jason lifted the small boy into his arms and kept his eyes on Elizabeth.

“I don’t…” Elizabeth broke then and buried her face in Emily’s hair. “I don’t understand! We were just starting our lives, we have a baby, we were supposed to be happy!”

Emily didn’t have an answer to that but only hugged her friend more tightly. Jason heard footsteps behind him and saw Mac Scorpio and Jesse Beaudry coming up the hall. He stepped outside the door to block their entry.

“We have to ask her a few questions,” Mac said apologetically. “If we could do it now…we could get the answers more quickly to find out what happened.”

Jesse shifted. “We need to know why he might have been in that alley last night,” he shrugged, trying to pretend that his partner’s death didn’t affect him.

Jason didn’t answer either of them but went into the apartment. “Elizabeth…” He set Cameron next to Emily and kneeled in front of her. “Mac and Jesse want to ask you a few questions.”

She focused on him. “What? Why?”

“So they can investigate…” Jason hesitate. “It might be easier to get it over with now.”

“Nothing about this day will be easy.” Elizabeth slowly stood and rubbed her eyes before heading towards the door.

Jason stayed with her for most of the day, watching over her as she answered the questions and absorbed Jesse’s reluctant confession that Lucky wanted to track down Manny Ruiz. That sent Elizabeth into a fit of tears–that Lucky had wanted revenge on Manny for what he’d done to her.

Later, when Audrey and Nikolas had arrived followed by a grief-stricken Luke and Lesley Lu, Jason quietly took his leave, resolving to stop by once a day to make sure his nightmare never came true. She would come out of this strong, not defeated and he would see to it that she never had to go through what his dream had depicted.

He went straight to Rose Lawn and broke into Carly’s room to see her. Her eyes brightened at his entrance. “We’re going to get you out of here,” he informed her. “I’ll get power of attorney from Alcazar and I’m going to take you home.”

Carly squeezed his hands. “I knew you’d come for me,” she said fiercely. “You always do.”

“I have to go before I’m found in here,” Jason told her. He hugged her. “One condition, though. If I get you out, you have to promise me you’ll let me live my own life and make my own decisions.”

Carly frowned. “I always do–”

“Carly,” Jason said, shaking his head.

“I just weigh in with my opinion,” she began to argue but he kissed her forehead and left her sputtering.

He returned to his penthouse where he found his sister waiting. She stood and crossed her arms. “I didn’t forget what you said about Sam this morning.”

Jason sighed. “How’s Elizabeth?” he said instead going to the kitchen to get something to eat.

Emily scowled but followed him and watched as he opened a bag of pretzels and began to eat. “She’s doing okay. We bundled her and Cameron up to stay with Audrey for a while.” She shifted. “Jason–”

“It’s important that you pay attention to her,” he interrupted. “That we take care of her and make sure she has everything she needs.”

“Of course,” Emily said, somewhat mystified. “That’s what Lucky would have wanted.” She shifted again. “About Sam–”

“I still care about her but it wouldn’t have worked,” Jason said. “She doesn’t understand me and she doesn’t try to. She doesn’t trust me to do my job and tries to decide what I should know and shouldn’t know. I don’t have the time or the patience for that.” He shrugged. “Plus, some guy answered her cell phone this morning so…”

Emily gaped. “Wait, wait, I don’t understand–”

He set the pretzels down and gripped his sister by the shoulders. “All you have to understand, Emily, is that I know what my life was before and I know what it could be like if I don’t start taking control again and protecting the people I care about. I’m okay about Sam, I really am.”

“But you were engaged–”

“It was a mistake,” Jason said. “It was based on something I thought I needed and I didn’t. Emily, you have to trust me to know what’s right for me.”

“Of course I do.” Emily sighed and wrapped her arms around him. “Will you go with me to see Elizabeth tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“And can you shove Courtney off a pier?” she asked, half serious.

“Anything for my sister.” He kissed her hair. “Are you okay?”

“Right now, I am,” Emily sighed. “Ask me again in five minutes when this all hits me again.”

“I know what you mean.”

“Jase?” she pulled away and smiled faintly up at him. “Merry Christmas.”

Through the years
We all will be together
If the Fates allow,
Hang a shining star
On the highest bough,
And have yourself
A merry little Christmas now

This entry is part 1 of 4 in the Choose Your Moment

Previously On General Hospital…

Elizabeth opens a door. The camera pans to the bed where Lucky is lying on his back, a blonde straddling him. “Oh my God!” she gasps and backs out.

Patrick hastily steps back from Robin. “We can’t sleep together.”

“Dillon, there’s something I have to tell you,” Lulu begins.

“I know how that goes,” Dillon interrupts. “And let me just save you some time. I won’t believe a word that comes out of your mouth.”

“Why do I always get stuck in elevators with you?” Alexis mutters, pressing the button for the lobby repeatedly.

Carly smirks. “Must be karma.”

“The immediate downtown and waterfront area is experiencing a brownout. Authorities are unsure when power will be back in those areas. Residents are advised to stay where they are as the streetlights and traffic lights are also out. This is Neena Stevens with WKPC.”

PART ONE

Let’s rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that’s disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

— Over My Head, The Fray

August 14, 2006

Harborview Towers: Jason Morgan’s Penthouse – 7:54 P.M.

Elizabeth Spencer paced the area in front of the window restless, every once in a while staring out as if trying to will the power back on herself. She’d come for support, for a shoulder to cry on, for something to distract her from what she’d seen only an hour ago and instead, she’d found Jason, reeling from an unpleasant sight all his own.

And now with this brownout, Elizabeth was stuck here. With a silent and brooding mob enforcer making a lot of clacking noise with the pool table. The elevators were out and so were the emergency lights in the stairwell. She was not about to risk thirty flights of stairs in pitch black darkness.

Ready to jump out of her skin, she whirled around. “Are blondes really sexier?” she demanded.

Jason’s pool cue slipped and one of the balls went flying, smacking the side of the table loudly. “What?” he asked, bewildered.

“Blondes,” Elizabeth repeated. “Are blondes all that much better in bed?”

“Ah…” Jason furrowed his brow and she realized he was actually thinking the question over.

“No, I don’t really want to know.” She tossed her hands up in surrender. “I’m afraid of the answer.”

“Okay,” Jason nodded, glad not to have to answer a question that seemed ripe with traps. “I might regret this but what makes you ask in the first place?”

“Well, Lucky slept with Sarah, you left me for Courtney, Ric pretended to sleep with Carly and actually slept with Faith and then Lucky sleeps with Maxie and you know what all these women have in common?” Elizabeth demanded, her voice rising. “They’re all blonde! So tell me, why do men always leave the brunette for the blonde?”

“There’s no way to answer that, Elizabeth,” Jason replied. He set his pool cue down. “But–”

“Maybe it’s not blondes, maybe it’s just me,” she said glumly dropping onto the arm of the couch. “I’m probably bad in bed and don’t even know it.”

Jason frowned. “You weren’t drinking before you came over here, were you?”

“I should have stuck with Zander. Sure, he was a criminal but at least he liked brunettes.”

“Maybe you should drink some coffee.”

Elizabeth raised her eyes. “But you know, you didn’t sleep with me, so you wouldn’t know. And you left me anyway so maybe it’s not the bedroom.”

Jason hesitated. “Elizabeth–you left me.”

“Maybe I just suck as a girlfriend and a wife,” Elizabeth sighed, ignoring Jason’s commentary.

“Maybe your taste in men is what sucks,” Jason said, irritated with hearing her put herself down. “You did everything you could do with Lucky. You stuck by him and you supported him when he needed you. And Ric–you gave him more chances than he needed. More than he deserved.” He stepped towards her. “Elizabeth, there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“So how come you didn’t want me?” she demanded. She got to her feet and planted her fists on her hips. “You would rather have guarded Brenda and Courtney than be in the same room with me, so really–you have no room to disparage the men in my life.” She huffed and walked towards the fireplace where she studied photos of Carly, Sonny, Emily and the boys.

“You deserved better than that,” Jason said, honestly at a loss for words. “And I’m sorry if I made you feel like I didn’t want you here, with me.”

“Well, it’s four years too late for apologies,” Elizabeth muttered. “You know, I almost wish I hadbeen having some sort of wild affair with Patrick Drake. At least he brings me flowers.”

General Hospital: Elevator Shaft B – 8:02 P.M.

Patrick Drake was not having a wild affair with anyone and that would be the way of things until January. He’d decided that it was irresponsible to expose anyone else to what could possibly be end-stage AIDS. If January came and he was still negative, well then he’d celebrate. He’d take whatever woman looked appealing to the nearest room with a bed and have his way with her.

But he was going to do the responsible and grown-up thing and that meant turning Robin Scorpio down for elevator sex. It didn’t matter if they were stuck in here for the next eight hours or that she kept removing clothes because the air conditioning was out or that other women couldn’t make sweaty look half as sexy as she did. None of that mattered, he was going to do the right thing.

However, if he didn’t get out of here soon or find some clothe to wrap her in, other parts of his body might take over the decision making. That would be wrong. No matter right it was suddenly starting to feel.

He tapped his fingers restless against the denim of his jeans and kept his eyes on the ceiling of the elevator car. And ignored the woman in the tank top across from him.

“I think I’m going to take stairs from now on,” Patrick decided. “Stairs are reliable. Stairs do not get stuck between the seventh and eighth floors. They never let you down.”

Robin smirked. “Except for those emergency lights which are currently off, so if you’d been on the stairs, you might have tripped and scarred that pretty face.” She chewed her lip. “I hope there weren’t any patients on the elevators.”

“This is why we need solar power,” Patrick said, eager to keep the mindless conversation going. If they were silent, he would think of other ways he’d seen Robin silent before and almost all of those ways ended with them in a bed, and her writhing–

God damn it.

“Yeah, solar power’s great except–what’re you going to do at night?” Robin shifted, the movement causing her short flowery skirt to move up her thigh.

He thought he might have actually whimpered but he fought the urge to slide his fingers up the newly revealed skin. It was a hard battle and he nearly lost in the end, but somehow he kept his fingers at his sides.

Clenched tightly in fists, but they were still behaving themselves. He was beginning to think this business of being mature and responsible was overrated.

He was acting like a horny teenager, he berated himself. And being a teenager was not something he wanted to revert to right now. So he cleared his throat. “So, ah, how’s your cousin doing?” he asked.

Robin smiled faintly. “Which one? The one consorting with a convicted sex offender or the one who’s committing adultery with Elizabeth’s husband?”

Patrick frowned. “Ah. Both. Either. I don’t care. Just talk.”

“And to think you used to tell me to shut up,” Robin sighed, somewhat amused and very aware of Patrick fighting his inner urges. It was sweet, if not somewhat frustrating. “I must be losing my touch.” She shifted again and he glared at her.

She was doing it on purpose.

General Hospital: Roof – 8:15 P.M.

“I cannot believe we’re stuck up here,” Dillon Quartermaine muttered, yanking at the door that remained firmly locked. “Did you do this on purpose?”

Lulu Spencer sighed and rolled her eyes. “Yes, because every thing bad that happens to you is my fault,” she muttered. She picked at a loose thread in the hem of her hot pink tank top. She’d have to put clothing like this away, she thought idly. Mothers did not wear revealing or funky clothes, they wore pastels and shopped at the Gap.

She wrinkled her nose. She really hated the Gap.

“Well, you tricked me up here,” Dillon pointed out. He scrubbed his hands through his hair. “I was supposed to meet Georgie for dinner but now here I am, stuck with you.”

“Well, don’t worry–you won’t have to be stuck with me forever,” Lulu snarled. She’d decided that she was going to take a page from her father’s book. She was going to take the money she’d saved and take off. She didn’t need Port Charles, she didn’t need her screwed up family or her useless excuses for friends. She didn’t anyone, she never had.

She leaned against the wall of the hospital and stared out over the landscape–the dark landscape and anyone with half a brain could see that the town was experiencing another brownout, though this one seemed much larger and longer than the rest. But as soon as it was over, she was going back to the mansion, she was packing her things and lighting out. Screw doing the right thing and telling the father of her baby. Because then Dillon would be stuck with her forever and she’d be damned if anyone else was going to feel that way. Her family already did but she would slit her wrists before the guy she loved felt that way for longer than the period of time they were locked out on this hospital roof.

She didn’t deserve that. And her baby didn’t deserve that either. Lulu braced a hand on her still flat tummy and reminded herself that soon she’d have someone to love and someone who would love her and never leave her.

Besides, even if she did tell Dillon, he’d just accuse her of lying and she didn’t think she could take that. She did feel bad for what she’d done, for how she’d lied to him about Georgie and Diego but she’d tried to tell him the truth, right? She’d tried to tell him she was selfish but he wouldn’t listen to her.

But now that he knew for sure that she was lying, he’d never believe another word out of her mouth. He’d call her a liar and he’d probably come up with a few other mean things to say because he’d watched enough movies to store up some good zingers. But then he’d find out it was true (in a few more months it would be unavoidable) and he’d feel bad and he’d apologize but she’d always know how he really felt.

Besides, there was no point in ruining both their lives. He was going to get Georgie back, that was all he wanted and she could handle this on her own.

She was getting really good at doing things on her own.

“What did you want to tell me anyway?” Dillon said finally. “What was so important?”

“Nothing,” Lulu replied quietly. “Nothing at all.” She wondered what Carly would say if she found out. Probably that hey–at least Lulu knew who the father was. Not every mother in Port Charles could claim that.

Port Charles Courthouse: Elevator – 8:20 P.M.

“This is just insane,” Alexis Davis muttered, jabbing the lobby button again. “Why isn’t this–” a spasm stole her breath and she braced a hand against the wall.

Carly Corinthos, leaning against the back wall, straightened and narrowed her eyes in confusion at the sight of Alexis Davis, gasping for air. “You can’t be claustrophobic; we’ve already done this before.”

“I’m–” Alexis coughed. “I’m fine.”

“Uh huh,” Carly nodded, unconvinced. “Well, I’d just as soon not catch your cold so can you just breathe the air over in that corner for a while?”

Alexis shot her a dirty look and fumbled in her bag for a bottle of water, which she gulped. Nothing in her life was going right, nothing was going the way she’d planned. Death sentences, husband sleeping with his stepdaughter, getting stuck in hot, stuffy elevator with the AntiChrist.

Was she ever going to get a break?

Feeling slightly dizzy, Alexis slowly lowered herself to the floor the of elevator, leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes. She could feel the migraine coming and it was going to be a doozy. Of course, she’d left her pills in her office.

Carly studied her for a long time and shook her head. “It’s not a cold. You’re sick, Alexis. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Alexis would have laughed if she’d remembered how it sounded. “What’s wrong, she asks? What’s right is the better question.” She slid a hand over her face, exhausted with the conversation, with the situation, with life in general. If she was going to die, why couldn’t she just die right now and get the misery over with?

Carly hesitated and tapped her fingers against the floor of the elevator car. She wasn’t a nice person, she would never claim to be one and generally, she enjoyed manipulating and scheming. It was her one of her…quirks. But there were moments where she wished she were a nice person, because she had a feeling Alexis needed a friend right now and well, the woman had lost a few recently, considering how Jax had left town and Nikolas was so busy with his own life.

So she took a bracing breath and dived in. “Kids are great, you know? I mean, I love my boys and I’d do anything for them. But there are days when you want to close the door and pretend they don’t exist.”

Alexis opened her eyes and looked at Carly oddly. “I’m sorry?”

“And husbands,” Carly continued. “I don’t have any use for them. They don’t tend to stick around and when they do, they drive you to nervous breakdown.” When Alexis’s expression only grew more baffled, Carly huffed. “When a woman looks as miserable as you do, it’s usually because a man or her kids are driving her crazy.”

“Hmph.” Alexis paused for a moment and finally, she felt the need to say it out loud. She hadn’t said, hadn’t really thought it past the moment but if she told Carly, well then, she wouldn’t be the only one who knew. And it definitely felt like one of those things that if one person had to know, someone else had to share in the misery.

“I found Ric in bed with another woman,” Alexis said, slowly. “I might have been able to get past it, I have before. I know that I’m not the easiest woman to live with, to be married to, I can accept that and maybe I could have lived with this. We could have seen a therapist, we have a daughter. We have a family, you can get past these things if you really want to.”

“And you don’t?” Carly asked, not at all surprised by the news. Ric had always been and would always be a slime ball.

“I could have dealt with it,” Alexis said. “But the woman was Sam.”

Carly stared at her for a long moment, waiting for the punch line. For the rest of it. For her to say it was Sam from Ric’s work, some unknown Sam that she’d never met. “Alexis…I am so…” she shook her head. “I don’t think sorry covers it.”

“I’ve been arguing with them a lot,” Alexis continued, realizing how fabulous it felt to shove this on someone else. “I’ve been cranky and I’ve been rude and I’ve been unreasonable.” She met Carly’s eyes. “I did this. I caused this, it’s my fault.”

“Unless you unzipped Ric’s pants for him, and arranged it so he’d trip and fall on that slut, then no, you didn’t cause it.” Carly exhaled impatiently. “People fight. Husbands and wives, they fight. Mothers and daughters, they fight. And Sam could have actually tried to seduce Ric, but you’re not to be blamed for what they chose to do with it.” She shook her head. “My mother and Tony. There was a crack in their marriage; it’d been there since BJ died. But my mother isn’t to blame for me seducing Tony or for him giving in. She’s the only person who is blameless and you are, too. I don’t care if you told them to go screw each other, Alexis. They didn’t have to do it.”

Alexis did laugh then, a long hysterical laugh and Carly recognized it as the laughter of someone who only laughed because she was afraid to cry. “Well, Carly, it gets worse.”

“I really can’t imagine now at this point,” Carly sighed. “Man, Sam’s been passed around this town almost as much as I have. But you know, I’ve lived here longer, so I have a better excuse.” She paused and attempted to count all the men she’d slept with since arriving in Port Charles. There was Jason, Tony, AJ, Sonny, Lorenzo, Jax and–well, she couldn’t count Patrick though she’d certainly given it her best shot. Only six. She laughed. “Well, damn if Sam isn’t catching up to me.”

“Carly, I’m dying,” Alexis blurted out, achieving something that few had. Rendering Carly Corinthos speechless.

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the Choose Your Moment

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

— How to Save A Life, The Fray

Port Charles Courthouse: Elevator – 8:40 P.M

Carly was the queen of dramatic statements–though she’d admit that more than half of those statements had been lies or at least partial truths. Life was simpler when you lied to yourself or someone else. Because then at least, you could make up the way you wanted it to be. But theI’m dying line was one Carly hadn’t really had the occasion to use and now she wished she’d had because maybe she’d be able to remember how a person reacted to such a line or how that person looked because she was pretty sure she was doing it wrong.

She laughed nervously. “That’s not–I know I said–that’s not funny.”

“It feels like such a relief to tell someone that,” Alexis said, ignoring her. “I mean, I’ve told Mayor Floyd because he ought to know that he’ll need a new DA soon but I hadn’t really figured out how to tell Ric or the girls.”

Carly blinked. “So dying is….what do you mean by that?”

“I mean that I have lung cancer,” Alexis informed her. “I don’t know why as I don’t smoke and I’m arranging for treatment but the doctors are not optimistic.”

Your kids will be a lot better off when you do everyone a favor and just drop dead. Sometimes, Carly wanted to hit herself.

“Oh, God….” She slapped a hand to her forehead. “You knew–you knew when I said–Jesus, Alexis, if I’d known, I never–” she scowled. “Oh my God, I suck as human being.”

“You didn’t know, you were just being your usual annoying and harsh self,” Alexis looked away. “Not that I believe you would have acted any differently if you had known.”

“Probably not,” Carly admitted. And she hated that about herself, she really did. She pursed her lips. “So…how long?”

“A year,” Alexis sighed. She closed her eyes and let her head thump back against the wall. “At the most, two. Which means Kristina and Molly won’t remember and my only other child…” her face twisted. “I don’t want to think about that.” She hesitated. “I changed my will to leave primary custody of Kristina to Nikolas. With Sonny’s illness, I worried–”

“No, that’s good, that’s right that you did that,” Carly said unexpectedly. She twisted a ring on her finger. “Sonny’s sessions aren’t–they’re not going as smoothly as Lainey would prefer and she’s not sure if he’s going to stay on the medication. I thought–” her voice faltered but only for a moment. “I thought he wanted to stay strong and set a good example for the kids but he’d rather have it his way.”

Alexis exhaled slowly. “I thought he wanted help.” An altogether new fear gripped her and she worried that Sonny might have another breakdown, in front of her daughter. Oh, God, how could she leave Kristina? How could she leave Molly?

“So did I,” Carly murmured. “And now I don’t really know what to do. I can’t keep the boys from their father but I’m scared that he’s going to have another breakdown, and I don’t want Michael and Morgan to see that.” Her eyes connected with Alexis, the only woman in the world that might understand. “I know that Sonny loves his kids and that they love him, but I am terrified that he’ll hurt them without even meaning to.”

General Hospital: Roof – 8:45 P.M.

Dillon paced for ten minutes. He tugged on the door handle for another five and after ten minutes of peering down the ten stories to the sidewalk, hoping to see someone who could help them, he’d spent the last five minutes sprawled out on the ground, his head banging gently against the door.

He directed his attention to Lulu, seated fifteen feet away, her knees tucked under her body, her hand absently rubbing her stomach. Probably hungry, he thought absently remembering the aborted dinner plans with Georgie. She’d never forgive him now after finding out that he’d spent the blackout with Lulu.

Which led him back to something that kept bugging him. Lulu had gone to a lot of trouble to trick him up here. She’d forged notes and snuck around so he wouldn’t see her plant them. And once they were up here, she’d started to talk, to apologize again for what she’d done. He was tired of hearing it, tired of remembering that she had, in fact, told him the truth and he’d chosen not to believe her. It was much easier to just hold her entirely at fault.

But then he’d been angry at being tricked up here, he’d cut her explanations off and tugged on the door to find it locked. Lulu kept going, kept trying to talk to him to tell him something but then he’d told her what was probably the meanest thing he’d said to anyone in a long time, excluding the venom he’d spewed at Georgie. He’d told her to shut up, that he’d never believe another word that came out of her lying mouth.

It was easier to blame Lulu for what had happened and it was simpler to pretend that he’d been an innocent victim but the truth was that he’d believed Lulu because he’d only seen her words as confirmation of what he’d already felt. And he’d slept with Lulu because he wanted to, not because he wanted to get back at Georgie or because Lulu was convenient, but because he’d thought about the way she tasted since the islands and of course, that was wrong, right? He was a married man and over the moon about Georgie.

But Lulu would smile and she’d clap her hands together in excitement about something and he liked that, he liked watching her smile, liked being the one to make her smile and he really liked making her laugh because she’d had such a crappy life, she deserved someone who made her laugh and smile and be okay. And for a little while, he’d thought he could be that person. But then she’d lied and she reminded him of his mother, not caring who she hurt as long as she got her way. And he’d watched them together, Lulu and Tracy, watched them, listened to them and it had made his skin crawl to know that there were such similarities, that he could have thought for one second he’d fall for a girl like his mother, his cold conniving mother that he loved because she was his mother, his family and you couldn’t not love your family. It was written somewhere, he was sure.

And he’d told her they were nothing, because he was terrified that the cliché was true. A boy always fell in love with someone who reminded him of mother, the way girls fell in love with men who were like their fathers and he’d been so sure he’d escaped that with Georgie.

He’d been immersed his own pain, his own betrayal and his own fears before he’d even thought it through and remembered that she’d tried to tell him about Georgie, tried to tell him that she was selfish and not a good person. She’d told him the truth and he’d told her she didn’t have to lie to him. And then he felt guilty and the more guilty he felt, the more he took it out on her because he wouldn’t feel this torn up and twisted around if she had just stayed out of his life entirely. He’d be in love with Georgie without complications and he wouldn’t be thinking about Lulu Spencer, and the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled or how her nose would twitch right before she laughed.

He was terrified now that he loved them both. That he loved Georgie’s compassion and her generosity. That he loved Lulu’s smile, her laugh and her voice and her devotion and loyalty to a father that didn’t deserve it. He understood what it was to crave a family, he’d grown up like that.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted out. She turned her head to frown at him and he continued, “I’m sorry I’m an ass and I’m sorry that I said we were nothing because we weren’t and that was a lie and I think there have been enough lies.”

Her eyes filled and then he really panicked because tears were not his thing. He never knew what to say, what to do and he was pretty sure that tears led to crying and then he’d really be in deep shit. Her lower lip trembled but she bit down on it and he was relieved because maybe she wouldn’t cry after all.

“No, you were right,” Lulu said quietly. “We are nothing and it’s better that way.” She turned her gaze back over the dark city. She closed her eyes and without thinking about it, rubbed her hand over her belly in a way that reminded Dillon of something, he just couldn’t figure out what.

General Hospital: Elevator Shaft B – 8:50 P.M.

An hour, they’d sat in here. And Robin was sure he would have cracked by now. She didn’t know what that said about her as a woman, but he hadn’t even moved an inch her way. In fact, except for the tense expression on his face and the clenching of his fists, one might suspect he didn’t have any interest in elevator sex.

Which confirmed what she’d expected since he’d turned her down a few days ago. He’d lost his appetite for her, for sex between them and he couldn’t find a nice way to tell her. She couldn’t blame him. The risk when they’d slept together had been minimal, but it’d also been an abstract thing, nothing tangible he could wrap his hands around.

But now, with an actual exposure, it was probably more real to him. That he risked his life every time he took her to bed. And he’d probably decided it wasn’t worth it. It was understandable–he had a brilliant career in front of him and it would be a shame if it was cut short in anyway.

So Robin tugged her skirt down and folded her arms across her chest. She was done trying to tempt him. If he’d wanted her, he would have had her by now and she had more self-respect than that.

“You could have just said something.”

Her voice startled him, they hadn’t spoken in nearly a half hour. He blinked at her. “Tell you what?” he demanded, grateful that she’d opened her mouth. But with his luck, she’d say something that either pissed him off or turned him on (and truth be told, the former usually led to the latter anyway) and the battle to control himself would begin all over again. He really couldn’t win tonight.

“Why I’m here and you’re all the way over there,” Robin said. “I mean, I’m a big girl, I can handle it.”

“I did tell you,” Patrick said, confused. “The other night–”

“No, I mean you could have told me the real reason,” she interrupted. “And I wouldn’t have blamed you or held it against you.”

Women. You could always count on them to start at Point A and go directly to Point F without bothering with any of the stops in between. “I’m not exactly sure what you’re talking about,” he said, spacing the words out.

“You’re not attracted to me anymore,” Robin shrugged, trying to pretend that it didn’t cut deep because no one–not even Jason–had looked at her the way Patrick had, not since she’d been diagnosed. He’d looked at her like he was hungry and she was the meal and while it had irritated her in the beginning, she found that she liked being considered desirable and being wanted so fiercely by someone so….well experienced was probably the best word.

“Not attracted to you anymore,” Patrick echoed, wondering how someone so smart could be so completely stupid. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” The fact that he was still attracted to her after eight months of knowing her, two months after sleeping with her–well that was a worrisome fact that he didn’t really want to address right now.

“Well, what else am I supposed to think?” Robin demanded. “I throw myself after you the other night, you throw me back. And I’m practically naked over here and you won’t budge, so what exactly am I supposed to think?”

He opened his mouth and shut again, irritated beyond hell. Why did she have to complicate things and why the hell had the word naked have to spill from her lips? Damn her.

When he didn’t say anything, she nodded. “That’s what I thought–”

“Don’t take my silence as some sort of agreement,” he retorted. “I’m just trying to figure out how someone who’s so smart can be so absolutely stupid. I’ve been exposed to AIDS, you idiot. End-stage AIDS. If you get exposed to that–” his breath caught just thinking about it and he shook his head. “I’m not taking that risk. I refuse to. And if that means celibacy, well that’s fine. I don’t really care.”

“Oh, so it’s just me you’re being noble with, huh?” Robin demanded. “What about the other women?”

Other women! Other women! He was going to wring her neck before this over, he was sure of it. “When the hell do I have time for other women?” he spat out. “I’m working or I’m with you. When am I supposed to find the time?”

She closed her mouth and digested the fact that Patrick wasn’t seeing anyone else. “Okay, so you’re not sleeping with anyone for six months because you might be sick.” She nodded. “Well, I am actually sick and I didn’t sleep with you for months because I didn’t want to expose you.” She glowered at him. “Who’s hiding behind their illness now, you bastard?”

He opened his mouth but shut it abruptly. He cursed under his breath. “I don’t care for the fact that you have a point.”

She nodded. “Damn right. You accused me of using my HIV as an excuse, as a way to hide from the world, well now you have an idea of why.” She glared at him. “Do you think it was easy knowing that every time we were together, I could have killed you?”

“No, no, I don’t,” Patrick admitted. He’d handled this wrong, of course but wasn’t the first time he’d done so regarding Robin and it definitely not going to be the last. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize–”

“And I’m sorry,” Robin sighed. “I didn’t–I didn’t think you were really serious about the celibacy thing. But you are and I don’t have the right to try and change your mind.” She shifted restlessly, wanting this elevator to move, wanting to get away from this. Six months. In six months, without sex to hold him, her tenuous grip on Patrick would be gone and he’d be off chasing someone else by the time he was tested again.

But that was okay, because she might have almost been in love with him, but she’d caught herself before the final plunge and it was okay now. They’d be friends and she really did value that–

“I can’t believe you’d be so thick as to think I wasn’t attracted to you anymore,” Patrick said, still stuck on that. “You’re as dumb as a brick, you know that?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Keep calling me stupid, jackass, and find out what it’s like to be in an enclosed space with the daughter of two government agents.”

Harborview Towers: Jason Morgan’s Penthouse – 9:00 P.M.

Elizabeth wished she had charcoal or a decent pencil to go with this pad of paper she’d unearth from Jason’s desk, but all he’d had was an assortment of pens and a dull number two yellow pencil with no sharpener in sight.

When she’d arrived earlier, he’d been in a weird mood–he’d been his usual silent and brooding self but there was an agitation was that unnatural, and it worried her. Jason was rarely agitated and it always with a good reason. He’d alluded to having seen something he wished he hadn’t but beyond that he hadn’t been all that good for details.

And if she didn’t know what happened, she couldn’t help. And Elizabeth liked to help Jason, she liked thinking that someone besides her toddler needed her. So she sketched and listened to him play pool and she wondered why he couldn’t be like normal people and just have a breaking point.

It had to do with Sam, Elizabeth decided. Because he would be too used to anything Carly could do to him and Sonny, she knew was safely tucked away in his mansion. Emily was away with Monica at a spa and she didn’t think that really left anyone.

So he’d seen Sam doing something or heard her saying something to disturb him. He’d been somewhat restless after Carly and Sonny had slept together, Elizabeth remembered. And the look in his eyes had been the same too. So maybe that was it. Maybe he’d seen Sam with another man. Maybe it was sinking in that he’d tossed her away and had lost his chance to get her back.

But who could Sam have been with? She wasn’t a blonde, so she definitely wasn’t with Lucky, Elizabeth thought bitterly. And if it had been Sonny, Jason would look worse, she decided. Nikolas was family, so that ruled him out.

She tried to think of all the people that she’d seen Sam around lately. There was Detective Rodriguez from the PCPD, Ric–well that was really it. She and Ric had seemed close when they’d been on the docks the other day, Elizabeth remembered. But Ric was happily married, right?

But he’d cheated on Alexis before. With Reese Marshall. And Elizabeth’s pencil dropped to pad of paper. What better way to get back at Alexis for her part in breaking Jason and Sam up than to seduce her mother’s husband?

She felt really sick.

She peered over the back of the sofa and watched Jason line up another shot, the muscles in his shoulders bunching up. “Jason,” she said quietly. She set her pad aside and stood to round the sofa.

He didn’t reply, didn’t acknowledge her voice but Elizabeth slid in between him and the pool table, stopping him in his tracks. “What?” he asked roughly. He was glad she was going to talk again. Because when she talked, he could focus on her and not on what he’d seen. It was easier to listen to Elizabeth, to fix her life than examine his own.

“I am so sorry,” she said in a soft tone. “It’s awful when you see someone you love doing something so reprehensible and so unthinkable.”

He frowned down at her–how could she have possibly known?

She must have seen the question in his eyes and she shrugged. “I know that look; you’ve had it before–when Carly slept with Sonny. I didn’t know why then, but it makes sense. And it just makes sense to me that was Sam you saw.” She touched his chest, her small hand braced over his heart, her warmth bleeding through the gray of his shirt. “I am so sorry,” she repeated.

She felt empty inside, knowing that all the while Lucky had been accusing her of infidelity, that he’d only done it throw her off and keep her from discovering his secret. She was empty and she was cold and she wanted that to go away.

And so it seemed perfectly natural to lean up on the tips of her toes and press her mouth to his. It seemed natural and in a way, it seemed inevitable. Because Jason had always been able to make her feel safe and secure and more importantly, he’d always made her feel okay in her own skin. And she wanted to give that back to him at the same time.

As if her soft kiss was the key that unlocked something inside him, his arm slid around her waist and he crushed her mouth to his, accepting the comfort she wanted so desperately to give.

This entry is part 3 of 4 in the Choose Your Moment

It’s all right to make mistakes
You’re only human
Inside everybody’s hiding something
Take time to catch your breathe and choose your moment
Don’t slide

– Slide, Dido

Harborview Towers: Jason Morgan’s Penthouse – 9:07 P.M.

He held her in an almost suffocating embrace, devouring her mouth like a desperate man who hadn’t had a drink in years. And even if she’d been unable to breath, Elizabeth didn’t think she’d have the strength to push him away. She would have gladly died in his arms, if it meant that she’d never have to give up this intoxicating warmth.

His breath was hot against her face as he pulled away to set his teeth into her neck. He nipped at the soft skin and a moan trapped itself in her throat. She couldn’t find the energy to force it out and she lost the opportunity when he brought his lips back to hers.

She was so caught up, so lost in the moment that she didn’t even register when he lifted her into the air and set her on the edge of the pool table. She could feel her feet dangling in thin air and the wood beneath her but she only let that sunk in quickly before sliding her hands underneath his shirt to find the skin beneath it. It was slick and hot but she wanted more and she tugged at the hem, wanting to see the chest she remembered so clearly and had often been the subject of many fantasies once upon a time.

He swept the shirt off his head and sent it sailing and she dimly wondered if they’d find it hanging from the desk chair the next morning but then his mouth met hers again and she felt herself falling until her back met the cool green felt.

She didn’t feel empty or cold anymore and that was the last conscious thought she had.

General Hospital: Elevator Shaft B – 9:07

The silence was thick and the air was beginning to feel heavy. Robin plucked at the damp tank top that sweat had sticking to her skin. She didn’t realize how much she valued air conditioning until it was gone.

Her watch beeped and Robin sighed, reaching into her purse for her medication. She tugged out a pouch and a very warm bottle of water and started to take each pill.

She could feel his eyes on her but he didn’t speak and she was grateful for that. He’d seen her take the medication so many times–during the epidemic, during the transplant crisis with his father, and during the brief weeks where they’d spent nearly ever night together. He’d watched her take all these pills and had never said a word about them.

But it was the first time she’d taken them in front of him since his exposure.

She finished the dose and set the pouch and bottle back into her purse and stared at the light pink nail polish on her toes.

“So you never told me about your cousins,” Patrick broke the silence again.

“You can’t possibly want to know how Maxie or Georgie are,” Robin said, suspiciously. “You don’t even know them.”

“I don’t know Georgie, I don’t like Maxie, there’s a difference,” Patrick corrected bluntly. “And don’t start on me about Maxie’s difficult time–”

“No, no…” Robin shook her head. “I wasn’t going to. I still–it’s hard to believe that she slept with him and then…” she exhaled slowly. “If Maxie hadn’t told me myself, I probably wouldn’t have believed it.” She eyed him for a moment. “So you did see them kissing on the docks.”

Patrick shrugged. “Yeah but I was hoping it was a mistake, a one time thing and there’s no reason to hurt Elizabeth over something like that.” He licked his lips. “But, you know, if I had told her, maybe she wouldn’t have had to walk in on her husband screwing someone else. Twice.”

“Or she wouldn’t have believed you either,” Robin pointed out. “And all you would have done was wreck your friendship.” She sighed and let her head fall back against the elevator wall. “I look at Maxie and I don’t even recognize her anymore. I know we all handle grief in different ways and maybe I could have been there for her more, spent more time with her–made time. But I just can’t reconcile the girl that’s so proud of herself for sleeping with a married man with the one that I watched grow up. And what’s worse? I think Maxie is the one that fed into Lucky’s suspicions about you and Elizabeth.”

“You know, I don’t care what people think of me, I never have but I wish…I could I could have figured out a way to convince Lucky that nothing was going on but how do you prove a negative right?”

“You can’t.” Robin shook her head. “And she told me that it didn’t matter what Lucky did with anyone else, because everyone knew that Elizabeth was sleeping with you. I told her–that’s not possible because for one thing, Elizabeth would never do that–even if she weren’t married because she’s my friend and number two, you and I were sleeping together most of the summer and even though we didn’t do the monogamy thing…I got the feeling that you really didn’t…” she shrugged. “Sleep with anyone else.”

“Well, I didn’t,” Patrick admitted. He wasn’t about to tell her why. That would just make the business of being stuck in this elevator all that much worse. “What did she say when you told her that?”

“She told that you’d probably lied to me about that, that you couldn’t be trusted to tell anyone the truth because you’d tried to lie about the kiss on the docks. And I just…” Robin closed her eyes. “I just stared at her because I couldn’t understand how she could lie to my face like that and try–” she licked her lips. “She had to know that it would hurt me. To think that you and Elizabeth were sleeping together. I mean, she knows–” she shook her head. ”

The words were unsaid, but they hung in the air. She knows how I feel about you and that, of course, made Patrick perk up. Everywhere, unfortunately. “She knows only what she wants,” Patrick corrected. “And she’s not really seeing past that right now, Robin. The truth is going to come out eventually and it’s only going to make your cousin look like the bitch that she is. I’m sorry but I can’t pretend I like her–”

“No, no, I wouldn’t expect you to. She’s running around town, telling anyone who’ll hear her about your wild affair with Elizabeth. You get to dislike her.” Robin bit her lip. “But I have to involve my uncle Mac now and I think that’s going to get her sent off to a nunnery unfortunately.” She tapped her fingers restlessly against the floor. “So you’re really going to go six months,” she remarked, changing the subject.

“I can do it,” Patrick said somewhat defensively, though his earlier resolve was being worn down by the way her clothing was now sticking to her skin. It was really getting hot in here. Where thehell was the power?

“Have you ever gone six months?” Robin asked pointedly. “Since you started having sex? Have you ever gone a month?”

“Yes,” Patrick said, somewhat smugly. In fact, he’d gone six months very recently and he was damn proud of that. Of course, he hadn’t yet slept with Robin and he was pretty sure that was going to be his breaking point. “Before you and I slept together, I hadn’t been with anyone since you caught me in the OR with that nurse.”

Robin stared at him and for the first time, he realized she was completely speechless. Of all the days for him not to have a video camera or some sort of recording device–because no one else was ever going to believe this.

“I don’t think that was quite six months,” Patrick continued, “but it was pretty close and let me tell you, I do appreciate you finally giving in and ending that particular dry spell.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You can’t possibly be serious. You were out all the time with women and what about Carly? Why did you go six months?”

“I’m not exactly sure if I like the fact that you think I was sleeping with other women the entire time I was trying to sleep with you,” he replied, a little offended. “And I told you, I only pretended with Carly to annoy you. And it worked, so–”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute–” Robin held up her hands and waved them in front of her, so he’d shut up. “So the second we make any progress, you give me that speech about how you’re only in it for casual sex and you spend the next two months telling me you’ll sleep with any woman you want when you want to and now you’re telling me that the only woman you’ve been with for the last eight months is me?”

He scowled. “You’re intentionally putting it together so that it sounds stupid. That’s not how it happened.” It was, but she didn’t understand and he really thought she would have. She understood him in every other way, and usually could tell him what he was thinking before he could tell himself–a fact that would probably always piss him off. How could she not see how it was? It would have been so simpler if she’d understood without his having to tell her.

But then again, things were rarely simple between them and he was getting tired of it. Maybe it was time to finally lay it on the line.

She glared at him and folded her arms tightly across her chest. “Oh, yeah, jackass? How’d it happen then?”

He crooked his finger at her. “Come here.”

“You don’t want me any closer, I might lose my mind and tear your clothes off,” Robin retorted sarcastically.

“I’m willing to take that chance. Come over here.”

“No,” Robin said stubbornly. “You can’t make me.”

“Listen, pain in the ass, I am bigger, I’m meaner than you and now I’m ticked off so get your ass over here or I will just drag you,” he threatened.

Robin huffed and rolled her eyes before sliding across the car and settling in a good foot from Patrick. He grabbed her hand and she smacked him with her free one. “I’m not going to touch that–” she began.

“You and that gutter mind of yours,” Patrick shook his head before bringing her hand to his chest. “I told you that I didn’t want anything more than casual because I thought if I said it out loud, it would be true.”

Her brow wrinkled with confusion. “What do you mean–”

“I mean, that I wanted to believe that I still wanted another woman, any other woman. All women. But, the truth is, Robin,” he hesitated. “The truth is that since the moment you barreled into that operating room, the thought of sleeping with another woman became a distant memory and you were all I could think about for months.”

“It’s really hot in here,” Robin said suddenly, “I think it’s gone to your head. It’s making you act really weird–”

He clapped his free hand over her mouth. “You talk too much. Be quiet for a second and let me finish.”

She glared at him mutinously and then with great relish bit his hand. But he’d expected that from her and had already braced himself for it. “You’re going to feel really stupid in about five seconds,” he warned her.

He took a deep breath and ignored all the voices in his head screaming at him to shut up. “Robin, I know you think that this exposure has changed things between us–and it has. Because now I understand you more. And I can understand what it’s like wanting to put someone else’s safety in front of your own and that terrifying feeling that you could hurt the one person you want to protect more than anything.”

He removed his hand from her mouth, not wanting to say these words for the first time while physically restraining him. He shifted it to her chin and touched her bottom lip with his thumb. “Robin, I love you.”

General Hospital: Roof – 9:15 P.M.

Lulu wondered what her baby would look like. If she (she really wanted a little girl to name Laura) would have her light blonde hair or maybe she’d have Dillon’s dark blonde hair. Maybe their baby would look more like their relatives–dark red hair like her aunt Bobbie or dark brown hair like Dillon’s brother Ned.

She thought their baby would probably have her eyes instead of Dillon’s but she wanted the baby to have his nose and his mouth. She really liked those features.

Lulu wanted her baby to feel wanted and loved from the first second she breathed, and to never be an afterthought or be told that her mother had wanted her but her father had tolerated her. And she was scared that if she did tell Dillon, he would look at her with horror before fulfilling his obligations. And to him, their daughter would be a mistake, a nice one, but a mistake nonetheless. And no matter what, that would always color their interaction, he would never able to look at their Laura and not wish she’d happened at a different time, with a different girl.

So, really, she was protecting Dillon and their baby by not telling him. She loved Dillon. She thought she had before, but now she knew what that meant and love meant protecting that person, even if it took them away from you. It meant wanting them to be happy, even if it wasn’t with you.

Her stomach rumbled and she wished she’d eaten something. It rumbled again, and then it lurched and suddenly, she knew she was going to be sick. Lulu stumbled to her feet and made her way out of Dillon’s sight, trying not to brace her hand against her stomach.

Dillon followed her, worried and when he realized she was throwing up, he stepped respectfully out of sight for a moment, feeling angry at himself for having yelled at her earlier now that he knew she was sick–

And then it all clicked for him. The arranged meeting, the need to tell him something, the touching of her stomach, the throwing up–his mouth felt dry and all the blood drained out of his head.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

He bit down on his fist to keep himself from speaking out loud. He was only going to get do this once, only get to give her a first reaction once and he didn’t want it be anything other than surprise. He didn’t want it be disappointment and terror, he wanted, for once, to do the right thing where Lulu was concerned.

Lulu finished and straightened, rubbing her hand over her mouth. She fished the mints she kept in her pockets for moments like this and popped one in her mouth and wished that she had water.

She went back to the main part of the roof and found Dillon standing there, his hand in his pockets, his gaze out on the darkened city. “No lights on yet,” he mused.

“I wonder what’s taking so long,” Lulu rubbed her arms, feeling goose bumps rise for some reason. She glanced at him nervously and found that he was looking at her now, in a manner that she didn’t recognize. “What?”

“You weren’t going to tell me, were you?” he asked. “Why?”

She widened her eyes in what she thought would be innocence. “Tell you what?”

He swallowed and hoped his voice and face were as level as he was striving for. “Lulu. How did you think I wouldn’t notice? I mean, you can’t hide that sort of thing.”

Her breath caught and shook her head. “No, I don’t know what you mean–”

“Lulu,” he repeated. “Come on. No more lies, remember? You promised me that before and I just told you a half hour ago that I didn’t want there to be any lies or secrets between us.” He stepped towards her. “You can tell me anything, Lu. You always could.”

“No,” Lulu shook her head. It was better this way, she told herself. It was better and it didn’t matter that he already knew. She had to keep lying, she had to protect herself and she had to protect their baby and he didn’t love her the way she loved him–

But he took her hand in his, and squeezed. “I know you have to be scared, Lu. I know it, because I’m scared, too. It’s a scary idea but hey…” he smiled weakly. “I have a history of doing things before most people our age. I’ve already been married and divorced, you know.”

“Dillon–” she began, but her voice broke and suddenly she couldn’t understand why she was protecting herself anymore. He was right in front of her, and he looked strong and she was tired of standing by herself anymore, tired of pretending she didn’t feel like breaking. “I didn’t mean for this to happen but I can’t–” she blinked back tears. “I can’t say it’s a mistake because it’s not fair–”

“It’s not a mistake,” he cut in. And then he folded her into his arms and she broke, clinging to him, pretending for a moment that he would always be there to hold her and protect her. “It’s a surprise,” he laughed weakly. “But it’s not a mistake. It’s okay, Lu–” he stroked her hair as he felt her warm tears on his shoulder. “It’s okay, we’ll get through this together.”

This must be what growing up was, Dillon thought, cradling the mother of his child in his arms and wishing he could have made this better for her somehow. It meant taking the bad and the good together and making something great out of it. It meant making things okay for someone when they were far from okay.

So he was gonna be a dad. That was okay, he’d figure it out as he went along. He’d never let the kid grow up in hotels with movies for best friends. And he’d never make him (or her) feel like an afterthought or run their life or make it miserable. He thought he’d be a pretty good dad and Lu would be a good mom and that’s what was important right now. Everything else could wait until they got off the roof but right now, the belief that he could make it work for her and make it okay again was enough.

Port Charles Courthouse: Elevator Shaft – 9:20 P.M.

Carly closed her eyes and prayed for the power to come back on, though she was surprised when she wasn’t struck down by lightening at the very idea of praying for something. After all the sins she’d committed and would likely commit before her time on this rock was finished, her room in hell was reserved and had been for some time.

But if there was ever a moment she wanted God to be listening to her, it was this one. She prayed for the power, she prayed for the air conditioning, because damn it was hot in here. She prayed for her children’s father, to give him the strength to do what was right and she prayed for her best friend, to find someone who wouldn’t sleep with his enemy. As long as he didn’t love that someone more than her, Carly qualified. And she prayed for the woman across from her, she prayed that she would have a miracle and that she would continue to live.

She opened her eyes and looked at Alexis, concerned at the pallor of the woman’s skin and the labored breathing. The sweat was trickling down her face in small streams and the air felt thicker, hotter and it was like a layer of heavy cloth being wrapped around them, more and more tightly so that breathing became more and more of a chore.

Could you get heatstroke from being stuck in an elevator? Carly wondered.

She cleared her throat, it was so hoarse from the lack of liquid. She’d given her water bottle to Alexis when the lawyer had drained her own. “Alexis,” she said, coughing because the sweat felt like it was in her throat now, like it was clogging her airways. “If we get out of here alive–”

“This feels familiar,” Alexis murmured and Carly smiled faintly.

“We’ve made it out of worse, honey,” Carly replied. “But if we get out of here, I want you know to know that I don’t think it’s too late for me to be a good person, you know? I think I could still do it.”

Alexis cracked an eye and peered at the blonde, baffled. “Okay,” she said slowly.

“No, no, listen, this is how I’m going to be a good person–well better,” Carly clarified. “I might be too far gone to be a good one. Anyway…” she waved her hand weakly. “You and me…I don’t really remember why we don’t like each other, you know? Because I think it started when you slept with Sonny, but that doesn’t matter now. Because that was then, and I was a different person, you know? I still loved him and I wanted him and I don’t know.” She closed her eyes, feeling really tired. “But you and me, we’re different now. And you have the girls and I have my boys and we’re family, you know.”

Alexis laughed weakly. “Yeah, someone’s laughing about that somewhere. I bet it’s Stefan, he always had a perverse sense of humor.”

“Could be my mama Virginia, she always told me my bad karma would come back to bite me in the butt,” Carly countered. “Anyway, that’s not the point.” She frowned. “What was my point?”

“Something about you being a good person or a better one.”

“Right, right, so here’s how I’m going to do it.” Carly straightened. “You’re gonna need someone. A friend, if we can use that term loosely. And this next year is gonna be rough, you know? So I’m gonna be a better person by being a friend to you. There’s a reason we keep getting stuck in elevators, Alexis and I think it’s God way of telling us we should stick together.”

“The heat’s getting to you, Carly. I think you’re hallucinating,” Alexis mumbled.

“Or maybe it’s the devil, but either way, Alexis, you’re gonna need someone to help you out and seeing as how we’re family, there’s really no one else who understands what you’re going through with Ric and Sam more.” Carly reached out her hand. “So what to do you say to a truce? Pinky swear?” She arranged her hand so her pinky was out.

“What the hell?” Alexis shrugged and latched her own pinky to Carly’s. “Pinky swear.”

Harborview Towers: Jason Morgan’s Penthouse – 9:30 P.M.

Elizabeth reached under her back and retrieved the cue ball. She giggled and then stopped. “I can’t believe I want to laugh,” she said.

Jason leaned up on an elbow next to her and peered at her curiously. “You want to laugh?” he repeated. “That’s not usually the reaction I get.”

Now she did laugh, her shoulders shaking. “Oh, I’m sorry, should I have gone with, ‘Wow, that was the best I’ve ever had?'”

The corners of his mouth twitched. “I think I’m insulted now.”

It was wonderful, she thought, closing her eyes and stretching her hands over her head. It was wonderful to feel this loose and this warm and this peaceful inside. It appeared that she’d finally nailed the concept of comfort sex. She giggled again. Nailed, she repeated to herself.

“It’s nice to see you smile.” Jason toyed with a strand of her hair. She brought her fingers up to trace his mouth.

“You’re smiling too. It’s nice to see that again,” she told him. She slid her fingers in his hair and drew his face back down to hers. After a long moment during which she forgot her name, age and place of residence, she sighed. “This pool table looks a lot more comfortable than it actually is.”

Jason chuckled and rolled off the table, getting to his feet. She sat up and realized that they were both completely naked. And there were some things that only got better with age, she decided, taking a good look at him–or at least as good as the moonlight filtering through the windows would allow. The candles they’d lit earlier had long since flickered out.

“Why don’t I take you upstairs?” he suggested, scooping her up in his arms like she weighed less than a feather. “You can look for your clothes later.”

She frowned. “How did you know I was thinking about looking for them?”

He didn’t answer her but just started to the stairs. Halfway to the first landing, the lights in the penthouse flickered on, then off, on and then off again before finally staying on the third time around.

“Power’s back,” Elizabeth murmured.

This entry is part 4 of 4 in the Choose Your Moment

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I’ve been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you’ve done

— Feels Like Home, Chantal Kreviazuk

Harborview Towers: Jason Morgan’s Penthouse – 9:35 P.M.

Jason glanced over at one of the lamps and a brief smile spread across his face. “Well, at least we’ll be able to find your clothes later.”

She bit her lip and cast her eyes towards the stairs. Somehow, in the dark, she hadn’t had to say it to herself–she’d just had wild, crazy, passionate sex with Jason on his pool table. She hadn’t really had to come clean with herself that her marriage was definitely over now.

But with the lights on, it didn’t seem so inevitable or so dream like. It was almost as if going upstairs, to his bedroom, with the lights shining and the power back on, reality had resurfaced and it would now be a conscious decision to continue their interlude.

And it was a decision that she decided she wanted to make. She tightened her arms around his neck and grinned. “So, we going upstairs or what?”

Port Charles Courthouse: Elevator – 9:36 P.M.

The emergency lights in the car flickered and Carly moaned–even their backup was going out. In moments, it would be pitch black.

But they only flickered and then the lights came on full force.

And so did the air conditioning. And then the elevator lurched and started to move. “Hallelujah, prayer works!” Carly raised her fists in the air. “We are getting out of here!”

“Fabulous,” Alexis sighed. “So I get to go back to my life with my adulterous husband, my tramp daughter and oh, yeah–my death sentence.” She pulled herself to her feet. “I almost preferred the idea of death by heat stroke.”

Carly bounced to her feet, the idea of getting out this elevator giving her an adrenaline rush. “The difference is, now you got me.”

Alexis peered at the blonde and sighed. “And I thought 2006 couldn’t get much worse. Now I have Carly on my side.”

General Hospital: Elevator Shaft B – 9:35 P.M.

As soon as the words had left Patrick’s lips, the flights flickered on and Robin blinked, pulling away from him. Thank God for interruptions, she decided. She’d always thought if those words left either of their mouths, it would be hers and then he’d be horrified, it would end badly so she was pretty glad she wasn’t stupid enough to say those words.

She’d never thought he would and now she didn’t know what to think–what to say–what to do. “I wonder why the elevator isn’t moving,” she mused, hoping enough time had passed that he’d realized that he’d made a mistake, that she didn’t need to hear those words, especially when she wasn’t sure what he meant or why he’d said them.

Patrick scrubbed a hand over his face and wanted to smack himself and her at the same time. Were they really going to do another round of this? “Robin–”

“I mean, the elevator must be stuck or something because with the power back on, I figured it would just start moving but it’s not and we’re still here and–”

“Robin,” Patrick cut in. “You don’t have anything to say to me?” he demanded.

Her eyes wide, she sputtered for a moment before coherent words emerged. “What do you want me to say?” she asked almost weakly.

This was exactly his worst nightmare, he realized. Why did they never do anything the easy way? Why did they always have to take one step forward and three back? “Well, reciprocation would have been nice,” he muttered.

“Because I’m not saying it just because you said it,” Robin began. “And I’m not even sure why you said it, I mean, you don’t want to feel that way and I can’t believe you said it–”

To stop her from babbling and for his own sanity, he again clapped a hand over her mouth. Her panicked expression quickly morphed into irritation and she tried to jerk away. “No, no, Scorpio. I’m done. Listen, you’re going to say because you’ve already said it and now that I’ve said it, you–” He glared at her. “Don’t shake your head at me, you did so say it.”

Robin jerked away and got to her feet. “I did not,” she denied. “A-and you can’t prove differently.”

“See, you know how I know when you lie? You get that little twitch right here by your nose–” he gestured. “You said it when we were in bed–”

“Oh, well you can’t believe what people say in the heat of the moment,” Robin cut in. “That’s just—you’re really good in bed,” she finished lamely.

He wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and really wished for the strength not to just reach out and wring her neck. Why was it so difficult for her to just admit it? She was supposed to be the mature one in this duo, not him. “I didn’t need confirmation, I already knew that, but thanks. No, you thought I was asleep.”

Her eyes widened at this and he smirked. “Coming back to you now, isn’t it?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Robin folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. “Clearly, you just want to believe that I said it first so you can pretend you’re reciprocating and not actually having to say it–”

“For the love of–” Patrick raised his eyes to the ceiling and muttered some unkind thoughts under his breath. “Okay, fine. Have it your way. You never said it, but I am saying it so will just give me a break here?”

“You’re…you’re really saying it?” she asked hesitantly. She bit her lip and peered up at him. “Like you mean it?”

“Robin, I love you, though only God knows why at this point.” He gripped her elbows and drew her closer to him. “So can we just skip the portion of the program where we bicker over it and just go to the part where you say it back?”

“Fine, but you know, if I say it, I’m going to want strings,” she warned. “Strings and commitments and exclusivity–”

“No problem,” Patrick cut in. “Just say it, damn it.”

“You’re really cute when you’re mad, you know that?” Robin teased, something settling inside of her. She grinned. “Man, if someone had told me you’d be begging to hear this, I would have told them they were nuts–”

He actually growled and she giggled. “Fine, fine, I’ll do it right this time.” She sobered. “Do it again.”

It might have been the only declaration of love she’d ever receive in which the man declaring it would be staring daggers at her and clenching his teeth. But this one meant the most. She’d really fought for this one, had given up hoping for this one and most of all, she thought this might be last one.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, stood up on the tips of her toes and pressed her lips to his. “I love you, too.”

The elevator lurched then and they went flying back against the wall. Before they could right themselves, the doors slid open and half the hospital staff–including Patrick’s father Noah, the Chief of Staff Alan Quartermaine and Robin’s parents, Robert and Anna, were standing in front of the doors.

“Your father never could pass up the opportunity to neck in the elevator with a pretty girl either,” Alan said to Patrick.

General Hospital: Roof – 10:00 P.M.

“Do you have service yet?” Lulu asked as Dillon sat back down at her side and slid his arm back around her shoulders. “My cell’s dead.”

“Mine, too.” Dillon glanced at the door. “Well, with the power back on, it still doesn’t solve our problem of being locked out here. Let’s just hope someone comes up here soon.”

They were quiet for a while but then Lulu spoke. “So, you took this better than I thought you would.”

“Me, too,” Dillon admitted. “I panicked at first, Lu, I’m not going to lie. Because this is….” he exhaled shakily. “It’s almost too terrifying to really think about just yet. But I wanted to do better, I wanted to be what you needed.”

She glanced up at him. “So what happens next?” she asked quietly.

“Well, next, we’re going to hope someone lets us off this roof,” Dillon remarked. “But as to after that…I hope you’re okay with the fact that…I have no clue.” He met her eyes. “But you know what? I do know that whatever happens, it’s gonna be okay. You know? Because you and me, we are amazing together. And you know, things happen for a reason. I don’t believe in accidents. You’re going to be a good mom and I’m going to be a good dad, and we’ll figure it out as we go along.”

“You’re going to love her right?” Lulu asked. “I mean, you’re not going to look at her and wish she were Georgie’s or that she’d come along like ten years later, right?”

Scary questions. He wanted his answers to be the right ones, he honestly did. So he took a deep breath and just went with it. “It’s okay that she’s ours and not mine and Georgie’s. I’m okay with that. But it’s hard not to wish that it had happened even a year from now, you know? Because this is going to be so hard for you.” He brushed his lips over the top of her head. “You’re going through all this crap with your family and now you factor in that my mother is probably going to kill us both–but you don’t have to worry about me not loving her. She’s part of you, she’s part of us. And my family, and your family. And I just…” he shook his head. “We’re going to do better for our baby than our parents did for us. And I just have this feeling–” He paused. “I just have this feeling inside that she’s going to be the best of both us. Of our families. Lulu, I already love her. Or him. Either way.”

“You’re coming up with really good answers,” Lulu said after a moment. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, glad for once she wasn’t standing alone. “I’m glad you know. I thought I’d be okay with you not knowing and me leaving, to be on my own but I’m glad that didn’t happen.”

“Me, too,” Dillon said. “However, if we don’t get off this roof soon, I might cry. I’m just saying. Because I’m starving.” He looked down at her. “And you should eat. And we should get you to a doctor. And then find some sort of way to tie my mother up for the next nine months.”

August 15, 2006

Harborview Towers: Jason Morgan’s Penthouse – 7:34 A.M.

The sunlight peeked in through the cracks in the shades. Elizabeth blinked and rolled over to shade her eyes. But they flew open when she couldn’t move. Something was pinning her down. A strong something. A warm something. She peeked over and grinned. It wasn’t a dream.

“There you go, smiling again.” Jason’s voice didn’t sound the least bit sleepy but she was sure he’d only just woken up. He must be one of those annoying people that could go to from sleeping to be awake without that icky stage in between. Bastard. “You keep doing that and I’m going to get used to it,” he continued.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to,” she admitted. She closed her eyes and snuggled into his arms, feeling safe and warm and completely at peace. That would change when she left this penthouse, she knew that. The real world filter in and she’d have to deal with it. But for now, she wanted to bask in being in the arms of someone who never let her down and had never treated her badly–even though she’d probably deserved it.

“So, what next?” Jason asked, idly stroking a hand down her bare back.

“I go home, I kick Lucky out long enough to pack mine and Cam’s things and then I go to my grandmother’s.” Elizabeth hesitated. “And then I just…breathe for a while, you know?” She glanced up at him. “What about you?”

“Breathing sounds good,” Jason answered. “I could go for that.” He paused for a moment. “I could drive you home.”

Elizabeth sat up and peered at him. “When you say drive, does that mean–”

He chuckled. “I guess some things never change. Yeah, we can take the bike.”

“Excellent. Can I drive?” Elizabeth asked.

“No,” he answered, good-naturedly. He crossed to his dresser and tossed her a t-shirt to wear since her clothes were strewn down stairs.

“Okay,” she accepted that. She was out of practice. “Can we take the cliff road then?”

“That’s not on the way to your place,” he pointed out, pulling on a pair of black briefs.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes and huffed. “So? We’ll take the long way.” She grinned brightly. “C’mon, Jason, it’ll be like old times. And then, you can let me drive.”

“Cliff roads, yes, driving no.”

“You’re such a killjoy,” Elizabeth sighed. But her smile didn’t fade. “Jason?”

“Yeah?” he moved towards the bathroom to run the shower.

“Thank you,” she said simply.

He shook his head. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You always say that, but it’s never true.”

This entry is part 1 of 3 in the Come Clean

1

He waited until Ric had left her alone in their apartment before he knocked on the door. This conversation didn’t need to be heard by a man who’s first instinct was deception.

He would do what his sister asked of him–but only when he heard Elizabeth tell him that she wanted him to do it. Something about the scheme didn’t feel right. Not once during Emily’s plea had she ever said Elizabeth wanted to cover-up it up.

It’d always been Ric thought or Nikolas said or the baby deserves better.

He’d do anything for his sister–except something that so clearly wasn’t her business. If Elizabeth wanted to get away with Zander Smith’s murder, he would sign the statement that would clear her and accuse a dead man. But if she wanted something different, he’d do that.

Because she deserved the life that she wanted.

It was a few moments between his knock and the opening of the door. She was dressed in a long white maternity nightgown with a matching silk robe untied over it and she tilted her head to the side a little. “Hey,” she greeted a little surprised to be seeing him at her door at all–much less at eight o’clock morning.

“Emily came to me,” Jason Morgan said after a moment. “And the whole time she was talking, I never once heard anything about what you wanted to do. So…is this what you want?”

And Elizabeth Lansing was so surprised to hear someone ask her that instead of deciding for her that she started to cry.

2

Emily Bowen-Quartermaine knocked hesitantly on Ric Lansing’s office door and was startled when his voice came from behind her.

“Sorry, I’m running a little late,” the attorney said smoothly as he unlocked the door and entered. He flipped on the light and moved towards his desk, setting his brief case down.

Emily shut the door behind her. “I talked to Jason and he said he’d get back to me about it.”

Ric pulled off his jacket slowly, a frowning stretching across his face. “Why does he need to get back to you?”

“Jason’s not comfortable with lying–no matter whom he’s doing it for,” Emily said shortly. “He’ll do it but he needs to think about it. Don’t be so picky, Ric, I’m doing this for you.”

“No, you’re doing this for Nikolas but you should be doing it for your best friend,” Ric replied with a glare. “You remember her, right? Kind of short, pregnant, blue eyes, brown hair?”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Right, I forgot. Because I look out for my fiancé, it means I don’t give a damn about Elizabeth. Whatever, Ric.”

“No, because you’re using Elizabeth to get your fiancé acquitted of murder and you’ve been using her friendship with you all along to get what you wanted. You lured her to Wyndemere under false pretenses so you could accuse me of murder. Does her well-being ever enter your mind, Emily? Do you ever think about how nauseous that launch trip makes her? Do you ever remember that she’s pregnant and really doesn’t need the stress?”

“I know my own best friend, thank you very much and I’m not doing anything for Nikolas that she wouldn’t do for you or for anyone else she loves,” Emily said sharply. “You’ve known her for barely a year and she’s been my best friend for years. Let’s remember who has the upper hand here.”

“Yeah, Elizabeth would do anything to protect the people she loves but she wouldn’t do it at the sacrifice of someone else that she loves.” He sat down and snapped open your briefcase. “I have no use for you right now. Get out.”

3

The tears didn’t last long and she invited him inside. Elizabeth belted her robe before gingerly sitting down. “I kept quiet about it until I couldn’t anymore,” she said softly.

“You’re pregnant and I’m sure Zander did something to provoke you,” Jason said simply. “I don’t blame you for not coming forward immediately.”

“But once Nikolas was arrested, I knew–I knew that I had to do something. And I told Ric. I thought–I thought he would support me in confessing but he just wanted to forget it.”

No surprise there, Jason thought bitterly. But he kept his thoughts to himself.

“So I told Emily and Nikolas but they were only interested in how it could clear Nikolas.” Elizabeth looked away. “I don’t think Emily even once asked how I was or if I was okay.” She blinked, as if not realizing that’d she said that part out loud. “After I was in the accident, I tried to tell Lucky–I mean…he’s a cop, he’d have to listen to me.”

“But he didn’t.”

“No. He just…he just went along with Ric and the others. They want to pin this on Detective Capelli because he’s already dead but I don’t–I don’t think that’s fair. I mean, I know he was a dirty and corrupt cop and it’s not like he wasn’t capable of cold-blooded murder. He did lock you to a pipe in a burning building but–” She shook her head. “It just doesn’t feel right to do that. Yes, I’m pregnant and no, I probably don’t need the stress of a trial but I’m a lot stronger than I look and besides–I don’t want to be treated differently because I’m having a baby. I committed a crime and I should pay for it.”

“So you don’t want to cover it up.” Jason stood and nodded. “Yeah, somehow I thought so.”

“But what am I supposed to do? Ric’s the DA, Lucky’s the cop and neither of them will listen to me or even take my statement. There’s no one who will listen to me,” Elizabeth said softly. She stared at her hands. “It’s like I don’t exist. What I want doesn’t matter.”

“It does,” Jason assured her. He thought for a moment. “Okay. Okay, I know what to do. If you want my help, you’ve got it. If you want to come forward and take responsibility, I’ll help you do it. If you want to cover it up, I’ll do that. Whatever you want to do, Elizabeth.”

She frowned. “Why would you help me?” Elizabeth asked. She stood and looked at him warily.

“Because you would do it for me if you could,” Jason answered without hesitation. “Because you’ve spent the better part of your life helping people get what they want and I think it’s time someone did that for you.”

She nodded. “Okay, then. Yes, I want to come forward. What do I do?”

“Get dressed. The first thing you need is a good lawyer.”

4

Justus Ward entered Jason’s penthouse. “I don’t have a lot of time; I’m due in court at noon.” He set his coat over Jason’s desk chair and was already halfway through his next sentence before he noticed Jason wasn’t alone in the room.

Elizabeth Lansing was standing next to him, looking very anxious. She’d changed into a pair of jeans and a black sweater with sleeves that were a little too long for her and she was currently playing with the hem, curling it inside her fist.

Justus looked at Jason before looking back at Elizabeth. “What’s going on here?”

“Elizabeth needs a lawyer,” Jason said simply. “And you’re the best one that I know.”

“Well, thanks, Jason but–I’m sorry, Elizabeth, I thought you were married to one. If you need legal advice…?”

“Ric isn’t interested in giving me the advice or help that I want,” Elizabeth informed him quietly. “I need someone who will listen to me.”

Intrigued, Justus motioned for her to go on. She took a deep breath. “I killed Zander Smith.”

This information caused Justus to blink and then frown. This tiny woman who probably didn’t weight more than a hundred pounds soaking wet when she wasn’t pregnant was telling him she’d bashed a known violent criminal over the head and killed him. “I’m sorry…can you give me some more specifics?”

“I…Zander was the father of my child and he’d been giving me a lot of trouble before his death. I wanted him to sign over his rights–” Elizabeth hesitated. If she was going to trust Justus Ward, he needed the whole truth. “Ric wanted him to sign away his rights so that we could raise this child ourselves and Zander didn’t want that. Not at first. Ric practically blackmailed him into doing it and he did sign the papers.”

“If you didn’t want your husband to be the father, why not say so?” Justus asked.

“Because Ric has this little quirk of not being able to hear me when I speak,” Elizabeth said dryly. “Anyway–he signed the papers and we thought that was the end of it. The night of the fire, I got a call and Zander asked me to come to the hotel. I did. He’d stolen the papers from Ric’s office and refused to give them back unless I convinced Emily to leave town with him.”

“And when you wouldn’t, he became angry.”

“Yes–well, he turned away and said that I could kiss my baby goodbye.” Elizabeth closed her eyes and took another deep breath. “I–I couldn’t think clearly after that. I know he didn’t mean he’d hurt the baby b-but I didn’t know that he was innocent of the things he was running away from and pressed against a wall, Zander’s capable of anything, you know? All I could think about was not letting him hurt me or the baby. I g-grabbed something from behind me and hit him. I didn’t even know he was dead until Ric told me so.”

“Clear case of self-defense,” Justus nodded. “Any lawyer fresh out of law school could do this. Why aren’t you talking to your husband about this?”

“Ric doesn’t want me to come forward and neither does anyone else I’ve talked to about this,” Elizabeth told him. “They’d rather I cover it up.”

“But you told Jason and he’s obviously going to help you confess,” Justus nodded, looking at Jason with obvious curiosity. Having been away for five years, he had no idea of the friendship that had existed between them and the idea that Jason would put himself out to help a friend of his sister’s had him thinking.

“That’s where you come in,” Jason said. “Will you help?”

“Sure. I’ll need more details and I’ll need to figure out exactly who to go to down at the police station for her to make her statement seeing as how Mac is still out of commission and they haven’t named an interim commissioner. Not to mention, the DA can’t do it since–as you said–he’s not interested in seeing you come forward. With Brian Beck and Andy Capelli both dead, the PCPD is seriously understaffed.”

“Tell him about Lucky,” Jason prompted.

“I don’t want to get Lucky in any trouble,” Elizabeth protested.

“Lucky Spencer? Is he also in on this cover-up?” Justus inquired.

“Yes, but–not by choice. He’s just doing what Ric’s telling him to do. We could go to him,” Elizabeth said hesitantly. “I think so.”

“Let me make a few calls and see if I can’t get out of the custody hearing at noon.” Justus looked at Jason apologetically. “No offense, man, but that hearing is a waste of time. The judge is going to rule for joint custody today. There’s no doubt in my mind.”

“It’s what’s best for the kids anyway,” Jason sighed. “They’re just too angry with each other to see it.”

“Yeah, so I’m going to see if someone else can stand in for me. Let me go do that and I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes.”

“But you’ll help me?” Elizabeth asked.

“Not only will I help you, Elizabeth, but I’ll have you at home, free and clear, before your baby’s born,” Justus promised. “I never lose cases and like I said–any lawyer with half a brain could do this. I don’t understand why your husband–an officer of the court–won’t just plead this down to a misdemeanor.” Justus’s eyes lit up with a little bit of mischief. “Maybe he’s not the guy to be DA after all.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to protest that statement but closed it when she realized she agreed with him. “Thank you, Justus,” she told him gratefully. “And thank you, Jason. I really–I really appreciate this.”

“I’ll be right back,” Justus told them.

5

Emily was silent when she walked into the study at Wyndemere. Nikolas was seated behind his desk and reading the paper. He set it down. “Did you tell Ric?”

“Do you think I’m selfish?” Emily asked instead. She sat down stared at the wall behind him. “Uncaring? Self-centered?”

“You’re not going to want to ask that question of the man who’s so crazy in love with you that he thinks you walk on water,” Nikolas remarked as he joined her on the couch.

“I’m serious, Nikolas,” Emily pushed his shoulder and sighed. “It’s just–all this time, I’ve been justifying the way I’ve been acting by the fact that I love you and I’ll do anything to see you cleared of the murder.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Nikolas replied, tucking her hair behind her ears and trailing his finger down her jaw line.

“There is if my actions hurt my best friend,” Emily said softly. “Ric said some things today that really made me think. He said that while Elizabeth would do anything to protect someone…she’d never do it at the sacrifice of someone else.”

“That’s true but that’s not what you’re doing either,” Nikolas argued.

“Isn’t it?” Emily asked pointedly. “We convinced Elizabeth to come here the other day and bring Ric with her. Did either of us consider the fact that a trip on the launch at this time of year is really choppy and with her pregnancy…it’d be more difficult than it would be for us?”

Nikolas hesitated. “Well, no…”

“And when she was in here yesterday…she came here because she was upset about you, Nikolas. That you might pay for her crime. And all I said was that if this could clear you…” Emily’s voice faltered. “She’s my best friend in the whole world, Nikolas and she’d do anything for me. I didn’t even ask her if she was okay. I didn’t ask how she was doing with this knowledge. I haven’t asked her about the baby in weeks. And every time we’ve seen each other lately, we’ve argued.”

Nikolas exhaled slowly. “Maybe we’ve been a little wrapped up in each other,” he said. “That’s not a bad thing but…no, you’re right. Neither of us have been the friend she deserves.”

“We didn’t even think to go after her yesterday when she left. If Ric hadn’t gotten that call about the accident…we wouldn’t have. And…you know…Jason said something that’s really resonating right now. When I finished telling him everything and outlined what we needed him to do…he asked what Elizabeth wanted.”

“She wanted to confess,” Nikolas said. “But I thought we talked her out of it.”

Maybe,” Emily said softly, “or maybe we just talked over her. Maybe we weren’t listening.”

He took her hand in his and kissed her knuckles. “Then maybe it’s time we started. What do you say we give her a call and ask?”

“That sounds like a good idea to me.”

6

An hour after Justus left the penthouse, he was escorting a somber Elizabeth into the police station. Despite some protestations from Justus, Jason followed them in.

“Who are we going to be talking to?” Elizabeth asked as Justus pulled open the door to the squad room.

“A blast from the past,” Justus remarked cryptically. The second he stepped foot inside, a Hispanic man got up from a desk and crossed to him. “Justus Ward, I see you’re still on the other side,” the man remarked good-naturedly, offering his hand.

“Alex, it’s good to see you again. I’m sure you recognize my client, though she has grown up a bit since the last time either of us saw her.”

“Of course,” Detective Alex Garcia said with a smile. “Elizabeth Webber.”

“Detective Garcia, it’s such a surprise to see you again,” Elizabeth said, instantly at ease with the man who’d originally investigated her rape. “I thought you’d transferred to Los Angeles.”

“I did, but the department has taken several bad hits these last few months and they transferred me back. I’m actually Captain Garcia now,” he said, with a bit of pride. He frowned seeing Jason Morgan behind Elizabeth. “Aw, and I thought you could do better than Lucky Spencer. Apparently I was wrong,” he joked.

There was no scorn in his voice though she knew he meant what he said. “Actually, Jason’s just a friend. Ric’s my husband. It’s Elizabeth Lansing now.”

“Okay, then. My good faith in you has been restored.” Garcia turned to Justus. “You didn’t say much on the phone except that Ric Lansing could not be involved in anything that was going to happen. Dara Jensen was just appointed ADA so I asked her to come down. She’s waiting in the room now.”

“Okay, Elizabeth are you ready for this?” Justus asked.

Elizabeth nodded firmly. “I’m ready.”

Lucky emerged from a back room, escorting a drunk. He put him in the cage and crossed to Elizabeth and Jason. “What’s going on?”

“I’m doing the right thing, Lucky,” Elizabeth told him. “Please don’t argue with me.”

“I thought we talked about this,” he said, quietly, stepping past Garcia.

“Yeah, you did. You talked about it. Everyone talked about it. Except me. And now I’m doing what I think is right.”

“Could you excuse us, Officer Spencer?” Garcia asked politely. He stepped aside and held his hand out to motion towards the interrogation room. Elizabeth and Justus followed him into the room and Jason moved after them. Lucky held up a hand to stop him.

“You were supposed to make a statement, not change her mind,” Lucky said coldly.

“I didn’t have to change her mind. You just weren’t listening.”

He pushed Lucky out of his way and entered the room. All the seats at the table were taken so he stood behind Elizabeth, knowing that Justus had already negotiated his presence.

“Good morning, Elizabeth,” Dara said. “You know…you put Lucky Spencer in Justus’s seat and it almost feels like we turned back time, huh?”

Elizabeth managed a weak smile. “I really would rather slit my wrists than go back to that time in my life.” She cleared her throat and glanced at Justus for her next move.

“Elizabeth Lansing is here to make a statement. I want it on the record that she came in on her own accord with no insistence from the department and that she is cooperating fully with the officers of the court,” Justus remarked.

“Of course. Now…what is this matter pertaining to?” Dara asked, setting the tape recorder in the middle of the table.

“The murder of Zander Smith,” Elizabeth said softly.

7

“Sheryl, can you tell Miss Jensen that I need to speak with her as soon as possible?” Ric asked Dara’s secretary as he passed by her desk.

“Sure, Miss Jensen is in the interrogation room taking a statement,” Sheryl replied with a smile. “I’ll give her the message.”

Ric doubled back and frowned. “What statement? I don’t have anything on the schedule from the department.”

“Oh…well…if you’d like, I can call and check.” Sheryl had already picked up the phone and was dialing. She spoke to someone for a few moments and placed the receiver back on the hook with a little confused smile. “She’s talking to your wife.”

Ric’s face drained of color and he dumped the files he’d been looking at on Sheryl’s desk, taking off for the stairs.

Not more than ten minutes later, he burst into the squad room and stalked across the room, stopping short at the little window. Elizabeth was inside, seated next to Justus Ward.

And Jason Morgan was standing behind her like her own private guard.

“I tried to stop her but she wouldn’t listen to me,” Lucky said from behind him. “It’s too late anyway. They’ve been in there for almost a half hour.”

“Why didn’t you call me immediately?” Ric demanded, whirling around. “Do you know what’s going to happen now?”

“If this is what Elizabeth wants, then who are we to say differently?”

“Oh, come on, she’s not thinking straight. She should be thinking about the baby, not her own damn conscience.”

The door opened behind them and Dara and Jason stepped out first. Justus exited and Elizabeth and Garcia rounded it out.

Elizabeth was just in front of Garcia and her hands were behind her–leaving no doubt in anyone’s mind that she was handcuffed. “Ric,” she stated. “What are you doing here?”

“Captain Garcia, my wife has been under a lot of stress with her pregnancy. I don’t know that she can held accountable for what she says,” Ric said immediately.

“Elizabeth is of sound mind and body,” Justus assured Garcia and Dara. “Can we just get this over with so I can get my client home?”

“Your client?” Ric demanded. “What the hell is going on here?”

“I’ve got the arraignment for an hour, you’ll only have to be in the cell until then,” Dara promised. “And you don’t have to wear the cuffs after you’re in there.”

“Thank you…for all your help,” Elizabeth said softly. Garcia led her away then into the back where the holding cells were located.

Ric lunged after them but Jason shoved him back. “You’ve done enough damage, don’t you think?” he asked coldly.

“I’ve done enough damage?” Ric repeated incredulously. “My pregnant wife was just led away in handcuffs and I’m the one who did the damage.”

“If you’d just let her come forward when she originally told you, this might have gone a little easier,” Dara sighed. “Officer Spencer, I need you to put DA Lansing under arrest for obstruction of justice.”

This entry is part 2 of 3 in the Come Clean

I’m shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin

— Come Clean, Hilary Duff

8

Elizabeth rubbed her hands. The handcuffs hadn’t been on very tight–in fact she’d barely felt them at all. But she knew it would take a long time to erase the memory of the cold steel against her skin.

“The State vs. Elizabeth Lansing, the charge is involuntary manslaughter,” the bailiff announced.

Justus put a hand under her elbow and helped her to her feet. The judge looked up from the file, his eyes falling on Elizabeth’s obvious pregnant state. “Okay, let’s make this quick.”

“Your Honor, my client is an upstanding member of the community who has never been in trouble a day in her life. We ask that she be released on her own recognizance.”

The judge frowned and looked to Dara. “I’m sure you have an objection.”

“Actually, Your Honor, we don’t believe that Mrs. Lansing is a threat to the community, to herself or even a flight risk. We find no fault with her being released ROR.”

“Well, seeing as how the woman is accused of hitting the father of her child and leaving him to die in a fire, I’m not inclined to release her at all.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened and she looked at Justus, panicked. “Justus–”

“Your Honor, my client was not aware that the fire would start and by the time she arrived, Zander Smith’s body had already been removed from the scene. She could not have warned anyone. If you’ve read her statement, surely you can see fit to–”

“I don’t have to see fit to anything. I’m not the trial judge, Mr. Ward and there is no jury here for you to convince. The defendant is to be held without bail pending the grand jury hearing. Next case.”

“Your Honor,” Justus called. “This is an abuse of the justice system–”

“‘Next case,” the judge repeated.

Lucky moved from them and took Elizabeth’s arm. “Come on. I’ll take you to an interrogation room. You won’t even have to see a cell.”

“I’m going to file an appeal,” Justus promised. “The grand jury hearing will be soon, Elizabeth. Don’t worry.”

Elizabeth couldn’t speak, couldn’t blink. The cold, harsh reality of her decision to come clean was setting in. She could spent the rest of her life in jail. She could have her baby in jail. Ric could raise her child and it would be years before she was able to see her.

Lucky felt the violent trembling set in and wrapped an arm around her waist as he led her from the room.

“What the hell is going on?” Justus demanded of Dara as she joined him and Jason at the defense table.

“I don’t know. He’s never held a woman without bail–much less a pregnant woman. Someone got to him.”

Jason narrowed his eyes. “I thought you arrested Ric.”

Dara sighed. “The charges were thrown out about ten minutes before you got here. I didn’t have time to say anything. But you don’t think her own husband–”

“You know Ric, this is his MO. As long as Elizabeth does what he wants, he’s got no problem. But the second she goes against him? He’s a control freak.” Jason shook his head.

“Look, she cannot spend the night in jail,” Justus said firmly. “Can you get a grand jury hearing today?”

“I’m not sure,” Dara sighed. “But maybe we can head this all off. She pleads guilty to a charge of assault in the third degree. That carries a minimum of a year in jail but we can get the sentence suspended and she’ll go on probation for a while.”

“That sounds all well and good but a judge wouldn’t even give her bail–what makes you think you can get the sentence suspended?” Justus demanded.

“Well, someone bought this judge which means he has a price.” Dara shifted, uncomfortable with the conversation. “A price can always be higher.”

Both lawyers looked at Jason, who nodded. “All I need is a name.”

9

The door to the interrogation room was shoved open and Emily burst in. “You have either got to be the most foolish person I know or the bravest.”

Elizabeth tried to laugh but it soon turned to tears. “I just wanted to do the right thing.”

Emily sat down and reached for her hands. “You have to do what’s right for you and if this is right for you, then I support you. Nikolas is outside but they’d only let one of us in at a time.”

“Um…there’s a distinct and a very real possibility that I might end up in jail.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “And I think Ric’s helping to put me there.”

Emily shook her head. “No–he’d do anything to protect you–”

“As long as I was doing what he wanted me to do. Justus Ward told me that they think Ric paid the judge to hold me without bail. And if he can do that–he can pay a judge to do anything.”

“Well, I have money, too. Or at least I have a brother with money.” Emily nodded firmly. “And Lucky tells me that Jason hasn’t left your side all day–except after court. I bet he’s out there taking care of this right now.”

“I talked to Justus before you got here–I filed a petition to strip Ric of parental rights to this child. Basically–invalidate the document Zander signed giving his rights to Ric. Justus says that with Ric’s history, I have a good chance of getting it approved.” She took a deep breath. “If I go to jail, I want you and Nikolas to take care of my baby. I want to know that she’s loved and cared for and I trust you two with my life.”

Emily’s eyes filled with tears. “You won’t–” her voice broke. “You won’t have to worry about that. I promise, sweetie. You did the right thing by confessing. Now let us do the right thing by you.”

“Promise me, Emily. If I go to jail–”

“Of course we’ll take care of the baby,” Emily agreed. She kissed Elizabeth’s hands. “You can trust me. And you didn’t even have to ask.”

10

Jason strode into the living room. “What is it, Carly? I don’t have a lot of time.”

“I want to know where you were today,” Carly said, irritated. “The judge made his decision today and you–as well as Sonny’s own lawyer–were nowhere to be found.”

“Justus was with me,” Jason said simply. “We were at the police station.”

Carly frowned. “Did you get arrested? Why didn’t you call then?”

“I was there with someone else. She was making a statement to the police and she needed a lawyer and a friend. You know, Carly–I have a life separate from you and Sonny. I have a sister and I have other friends,” Jason coldly. He glanced at the clock on the wall. “And I have somewhere else to be–”

Carly caught his arm. “Jason–what happened to Emily? What did she need to talk to the police about? I know how important she is to you.”

“It wasn’t Emily,” Jason replied. He stepped back. “Elizabeth accidentally killed Zander Smith and instead of letting Ric cover it up, she wanted to confess. But at the time, no one was willing to let her. So when Emily asked me to sign a statement saying that Capelli had done it, I asked Elizabeth what she wanted.”

“And what? Now you’re trying to keep her bony little ass out of jail?” Carly demanded shrilly. “Elizabeth be damned–I needed you today. The judge gave us joint custody but Sonny still won’t let me see the kids–”

“Then have him arrested for violating a court order!” Jason exploded. “I can’t fix everything for you, Carly! Sometimes I have to do what’s right for me. I have to live my own life, damn it.”

“Oh–I’m so sorry that I’m keeping you from your precious Elizabeth,” Carly said scathingly. “God forbid, right? My God, what is it with you when it comes to that girl? How many times does she have to stomp on your heart before you get the picture?”

“It’s not about that–and you’re in no position to talk about people who hurt me,” Jason retorted. “How many times have you wrecked my life? How many times do you have to stomp on me before I get the picture about you?”

Carly paled. “That’s–that’s not fair. You love me, Jase. You take care of me. That’s always what you’ve done.”

“And it’s so inconceivable that maybe part of me still loves Elizabeth, still wants her to be happy? She’s pregnant, Carly. And she might go to jail for protecting herself from Zander. You know how it feels to be locked in a small room while pregnant. Do you really think it’s fair to wish that on someone else?”

“Oh, please, Ric will buy some stupid judge and by the time the baby’s born, you won’t even register in her mind. Don’t you get it, Jason? She knows how to play you–knows exactly what to say and how to say it to get you to come riding to her rescue–”

“She didn’t come to me. Not once has she come to me to fix a problem for her. She’s not you, Carly. I went to her. And you know something else? Ric bought a judge, all right–to keep her in jail. She’s not doing his bidding so he wants to find another way to control her. He had a judge deny her bail and if I don’t figure out a way to head him off, he’s going to have her in jail before I can do anything to stop it.”

“She married him–she knew exactly what he’d done and she married him again. Maybe she deserves to pay for that mistake.”

Jason scrubbed his hands down his face. “God damn it, Carly, how can you be so incapable of consideration for someone else? You married AJ! You set out to steal your mother’s husband and you nearly had me indicted for kidnapping! You turned Sonny into the Feds! And all Elizabeth did was believe that someone she loved had changed–I hardly think you have any room to talk. So why don’t you shut up and stay the hell out of my business?”

11

Nikolas glanced into the interrogation room before looking at back at Lucky. “If I ever get my hands on Ric Lansing,” he muttered.

“You’ll have to get in line. I knew he was no good for her. Why didn’t we try harder to talk her out of it?” Lucky demanded. He shook his head.

“Trying to talk her out of something is like talking to a brick wall.”

Audrey Hardy rushed into the squad room and took Lucky’s hand. “Where is she? Why didn’t she call me sooner?”

Nikolas sighed. “I’m sure she didn’t want to worry you, Mrs. Hardy. It’s all going to be okay.”

“But why are they holding her without bail?” Audrey demanded. “She’s pregnant–”

“We think Ric may have bought a judge,” Lucky admitted. “So…Jason’s out there fixing it.”

“Jason?” Audrey repeated. “What does he have to do with this?”

Nikolas cleared his throat. “We wanted to cover this up for her–take care of it. So Emily asked Jason if he’d sign a statement saying that before Capelli died, he admitted to the murder. Jason was willing to do it–but not before he went and asked Elizabeth if it was what she wanted.”

“And Elizabeth chose to come clean.” Audrey sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know if I should hug her or throttle her. Okay, does she have a lawyer?”

“She does,” Justus said from behind them. “Hello, Mrs. Hardy.”

“Oh…Justus…well I feel a lot better about this now.” Audrey touched Justus’s hand. “My granddaughter is all the family that I have left that gives a damn about me. You promise to take care of her?”

“I promise,” Justus remarked. “I just got back from Dara’s office. She’s bogged down in work because the mayor got wind of this situation and Ric’s involvement in covering it up and fired him. She’s now the DA.”

“That’s a good thing, though right? He loses credibility. No judge will listen to him,” Nikolas said.

“That’s what Dara’s counting on,” Justus replied. “She’s pulling every string and calling in every favor to get a grand jury hearing tomorrow but it looks as though the earliest we can get it is next week.”

“Next week?” Lucky repeated, horrified. “She can’t spend a week in jail!”

“Which is why as soon as we hear from Jason, we’re going to work on the deal. We need to know the judge will sign off on it before we make it.”

“What deal?” Audrey questioned. “I won’t let her spend another minute in jail if I can help it.”

“We want to have her plead to assault in the third degree and even though it carries a minimum of a year in jail, Dara wants to suspend the sentence and put her on probation but I refuse to make the deal until I know she won’t spend another day in jail,” Justus informed the older woman.

“And Jason’s going to make sure a judge signs it,” Audrey stated. “I’m not even sure I care about the method anymore as long as my granddaughter comes home.”

“Did you file that petition in family court?” Lucky asked.

“I did but family court’s so backed up we might not hear back for almost a month,” Justus replied. “Her petition would carry more weight if she was suing him for divorce.”

“Oh, she will be when I get through with her,” Audrey declared. “Lucky, tell Emily that I need to see my granddaughter. Now.”

This entry is part 3 of 3 in the Come Clean

12

Elizabeth looked up as her grandmother took the seat across from her. “Gram…”

“I heard it on the evening news, I believe you’re making the right decision and I want you to divorce the son of a bitch who’s keeping you here,” Audrey said briskly.

“I–” Elizabeth pressed the heel of her hand against her forehead. “Jesus, Gram, don’t you think I’m dealing with enough right now?”

“Exactly my point. Ric’s been fired as DA, he can’t do anything else to screw you over if you’re not in his life. Now–I know that you love him but I loved Tom Baldwin and that really didn’t get us anywhere, now did it?””

“He was fired?” Elizabeth said softly. “Why?”

“The mayor was faxed a copy of your statement and didn’t take to kindly that he tried to cover up a murder.”

Elizabeth closed her eyes. “Oh, God, I murdered him.”

“Elizabeth–”

“Gram–I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” Her voice shook. “I thought–I thought Ric would understand I’m doing the right thing and support me but he hasn’t and now you want me to divorce him–”

“I want you to be safe, darling,” Audrey said softly. “You are doing the right thing and anyone who doesn’t see that should go to hell.”

“I love him, Gram–”

“But he doesn’t value you. He doesn’t trust you. He wants to control you.”

“No, he–”

“He wants you to come to him for help and you didn’t. You went to Jason. You know that had to infuriate him,” Audrey said gently.

“I didn’t go to Jason,” Elizabeth said defensively. “I don’t do that. I don’t expect him to fix my problems, Gram. He just showed up at my door this morning and he asked me what I wanted to do. I wanted to confess. He’s helping me but–”

“Darling, I know all of this.” Audrey sighed. “But Ric doesn’t. Ric just sees Jason. You can’t go back to him after this.”

“I know. But–”

“Justus says your petition to strip him of parental rights would carry more weight if you were divorcing him.”

Elizabeth bit her lip and closed her eyes. “I just–I want to find out about this deal before I make that decision.”

“It’ll work out,” Audrey promised.

“I deserve to go to jail,” Elizabeth whispered. “I killed him, Gram. Zander was the father of my baby and I killed him.”

“You were scared.”

“I knew Zander wouldn’t hurt me. Could never hurt me.” Elizabeth’s hands started to shake and she bowed her head. “I know that, I’ve always known that but–he was so desperate. He’d lost everything. Emily, his job, his freedom. I didn’t know what he was capable of anymore. I loved Zander, he was a good friend but he made so many bad decisions.” Elizabeth wiped her cheeks. “He was capable of violence so I know he could have shot that cop. But he was capable of kindness, of gentleness. He was so wonderful to me. He always was. I know he wouldn’t hurt me–”

“Elizabeth, you just said that you didn’t know what he was capable of. Do I believe Zander would consciously hurt you? No,” Audrey shook her head. “But people under pressure do things they wouldn’t otherwise. You were protecting yourself. Your child. And Zander would not blame you.”

Elizabeth took a shaky breath. “I know that here.” She gestured towards her head and then pressed the heel of her hand against her heart. “It’s here that I’m having the problems with.”

13

By the time Justus had drawn up the divorce papers, Jason had returned with more than what he’d gone for. A judge’s word that he would sign the deal. And the judge’s word that he would over ride family court and award custody of her child to Elizabeth just as soon as the deal had been placed.

“Can I see her?” Jason asked. Garcia nodded and moved out of the way, going over to Dara who was working out the details with Justus.

Jason entered the interrogation room and hesitated when he saw Audrey seated across from Elizabeth. “Hello, Mrs. Hardy.”

“Jason.” Audrey squeezed Elizabeth’s hands and stood. “My granddaughter and her friends have told me that you’ve been out trying to fix this mistake so that she can go home.”

“I have,” Jason confirmed. He shifted. There were few people in his life that he felt uneasy around–that made him feel like he should check his hands and make sure they were clean. His own grandmother, Bobbie Spencer and Elizabeth’s grandmother.

“And can she go home?” Audrey pressed.

“Gram,” Elizabeth protested weakly.

“Justus and Dara are working on the papers now,” Jason said dutifully. His eyes flickered to Elizabeth. “The judge agreed to strip Ric of his parental rights.”

“The family court…” Elizabeth hesitated. “It’s over?”

Jason nodded. “As soon as Dara files the papers, we’ll get you in front of the judge. You’ll be given a few years of probation and Ric has no rights to the baby.”

“And she’s filing for divorce,” Audrey revealed. “I won’t deny I forced her to do it but it was only a matter of time. He’s no good for you, Elizabeth. He doesn’t give a damn about what’s important to you.”

“I know,” Elizabeth said softly.

Audrey nodded and looked back to Jason. “Thank you, Jason. I know how much you care for my granddaughter. She’s lucky to have a friend like you.” She kissed his cheek and left the room.

Elizabeth blinked. “She must have taken some drugs or something,” she offered as an explanation. “She’s been acting oddly since she walked in here.” She cleared her throat and stood. “Thank you. For everything you’ve done since you’ve known the truth. It’s the first time in a long time that I felt like anyone has really listened to me.”

Jason ducked his head and looked away. “It was nothing you wouldn’t have done for me.”

Justus pushed open the door. “You ready to head over to the court? We’ll have you home in an hour.”

Elizabeth was in the squad room before she stopped. “I don’t have a home,” she said softly. “The apartment–”

“You’ll come with me,” Audrey said briskly. She took Elizabeth’s purse from her and pushed her towards the doors. “Let’s go.”

14

“How does the defendant plead?” the judge asked briskly.

“Guilty,” Elizabeth murmured.

“Your Honor, the defendant has never been arrested or charged with anything of this nature before. Her statement to the police leaves no doubt in our minds that she struck in self defense and did not intend for the victim to die. Autopsy reports say that Alexander Lewis aka Zander Smith died of smoke inhalation we request that she be sentenced to a year suspended with probation,” Dara recited.

The judge nodded and shifted in his seat. “That sound right to you, Mr. Ward?”

“Yes, sir,” Justus nodded. “My client came forward to cleanse her mind and wishes to go on with her life and raise her child in peace.”

“The investigation indicates the trail had gone all but dead,” the judge remarked. “You never would have been accused, Ms. Webber.”

Elizabeth nodded. “I would have known, sir.”

“I admire that. Honesty is hard to find in this seat these days. I can understand your reluctance, seeing as how you’re with child.” The judge smiled. “Defendant is sentenced to one year, suspended and four years of probation. Court is adjourned.”

15

On a cold day that March, Alexander Lewis was laid to rest next to his brother Peter and his father Cameron. His funeral was paid for by the Cassadine family and attended by only a sparse few. Emily and Nikolas, Elizabeth and her grandmother, Jason, Alexis and Justus.

His son Cameron Alexander Webber was born late that May and proudly named Alexander Lewis as his father.

Elizabeth told her son stories about Zander, about how he’d saved her from losing her mind during the horrible days in the crypt. How he’d listened to her, had cared for her and how much she missed him.

She thought that Zander would have liked that.

The End

February 13, 2014

This entry is part 1 of 2 in the Rest in Pieces

Song: Rest in Pieces (Saliva)

But could you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces?
(Let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces?
(Let me rest in pieces)

— Saliva, Rest in Pieces

1


“We shouldn’t be doing this,” she murmured, tilting her head back and moaning as his lips scorched a trail down her throat.

“I know.” His fingers fumbled with the buttons on her shirt before pushing the fabric off her shoulders. It slid to the floor, forgotten immediately.

“We’re going to stop,” she tried again, sliding her fingers into his short hair. He backed her up to the couch and they fell over the arm of it, their legs tangling together.

“Right now,” he breathed, his calloused hands smoothing over her porcelain skin.

“It’s just going to complicate things,” she managed to say before their lips found each other again.

“I think they’re already complicated,” he told her, raising his head. His eyes searched hers. “Do you really want to stop?”

He would if she said the word and she knew that. All she’d have to do is say yes and he’d put his shirt and his boots back on and he’d leave.

“No,” she whispered. “I don’t want to stop.”

Still, he hesitated and she frowned. He glanced away. “I don’t have anything.”

“I don’t care,” she replied softly. She freed a hand from where it was trapped between their bodies and touched his cheek. “Do you want to stop?”

And just as quickly as the hesitation had entered his eyes, it was gone and he lowered his lips to hers again.

The memory faded from her mind as she stared at Dr. Meadows. “Are you sure?” she asked softly.

“Yes, without a doubt,” the obstetrician remarked. “Are you all right?”

Elizabeth nodded, numbly. She stood. “I’ll call and make another appointment,” she whispered. She left the office without another word.

Once outside, she leaned against the wall, her mind racing. What the hell was she going to do? Telling him was out of the question – it had to be, he was getting married in three days. To her knowledge, he’d never told his fiancée about that night.

She’d been on the docks–on her way home from her lawyer’s office. She and Ric had finally finalized their divorce and she was finally free from him.

She had so many plans–so many ideas on what she wanted to do. She wanted to convince Emily to run away to the city for a few days or maybe finish school.

Jason had been sitting on the bench when she came down the stairs and she paused to talk to him. He’d offered to walk her home…and somehow one thing led to another.

She still wasn’t quite sure who made the first move or what had spurred either of them to do it, but they’d made love right on her couch–three times if she remembered right.

The next morning, she’d woken up and he was gone.

When she’d seen him again, he was dropping Courtney off at work and things seemed to be normal between them and when she’d seen Jason kiss Courtney goodbye, she’d made a decision not to talk or think about that night again.

But now…

“Hey, are you okay?”

Elizabeth tuned back into her surroundings and saw Zander standing in front of her, concern written across his features. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Are you okay?” He reached out and touched her shoulder. “You look kind of pale.” He smirked. “More so than usual.”

She managed a weak smile. “No. I’m not okay. Not at all.”

2
“Here, drink this,” he told her, shoving the coffee across the table at her. She stared at down into the thick black liquid and she started to cry.

Alarmed, Zander pulled it back quickly. “Whoa, babe. What’s going on?”

“I can’t drink coffee,” she said between hitching sobs.

“Well, you’re probably better off without it,” he replied. “This stuff will put hair on your chest. Elizabeth, will please tell me what’s wrong?”

She took a deep breath, looked into his concerned brown eyes and blurted it out. “I’m pregnant.”

Zander sat back and looked away. “Oh. And you don’t want to tell Ric. Well, that’s understandable–”

“It’s not Ric’s baby,” she whispered breathlessly, her eyes huge and terrified.

He stared at her and swallowed hard. “I’m guessing it’s not Lucky’s.”

She shook her head.

“Oh.” He shifted and stared at the doors to the hospital cafeteria. “I didn’t realize you two were together because well…he is getting married in a few days.”

“I know.” She sighed and looked down at the table. “It was just….it happened just once. I don’t even know how it happened. He found me on the docks one night. I’d just finalized my divorce and we were talking so he walked me home. And the next thing I knew, we were all over each other,” she admitted.

“And when it was over?” Zander prompted.

“He spent the night and when I woke up, he was gone. The next time I saw him, he was with Courtney so I wrote it off as a mistake on his part.” She bit her lip. “I don’t know how it could have been. He seemed so sure–I mean, he asked me if I wanted to stop a few times and it wasn’t like it was just once, you know? We made love three times and each time, we were conscious of the fact we didn’t have protection.” She searched Zander’s face. “Does that sound like someone who’s making a mistake?”

“No,” Zander answered her, honestly. “It sounds like a guy who knew exactly what he was doing.”

“I can’t tell him,” she whispered. “I mean, it’ll destroy his life. I’m almost positive he never said a word to Courtney a-and they’re getting married. How can I tell him?”

“I don’t think that’s what’s bothering you,” Zander told her.

“It’s not?”

“You’re thinking of course you have to tell him. Of course he has to know.” Zander shook his head. “You know you’ve already decided to tell him.”

“Every time I think I’ve decided not to tell him, I remember the way he looked when he’d talk about Michael,” Elizabeth admitted. She looked away. “He loved that little boy so much, Zander. How can I take that away from him?”

“Which is why you already decided to tell him.”

“Yeah…I know.” She rubbed her forehead. “I mean, logically what happens to Courtney is his problem. She’s his fiancée. He cheated on her. None of that has anything to do with me.”

“Of course it does.”

“It does?”

“Well, yeah,” Zander shrugged. “You’re also his friend. Not just a one-night stand. You’ve been his friend for years, you’ve been his sister’s best friend for even longer. So of course that matters to you. If you’d been a random girl he’d picked up, you wouldn’t have gave a damn.”

She sighed. “Yeah…were you always this smart?”

“Naw, I think it’s a new improvement.”

She stood. “I guess I’d better go face the music.”

3

“You said it was an emergency.”

The last time he’d been standing in her studio, it’d be a few seconds before he’d kissed her and now…it just felt awkward for him to be back here.

She’d spent the last hour waiting for him to get here–an hour in which she’d thought carefully about the events of that night and she’d concluded that he’d made the first move–he’d kissedher.

“I’m glad it wasn’t a real emergency because I would have been dead by the time you got here,” she began shortly.

He narrowed his eyes. “So if this isn’t an emergency–”

“It’s not one of life or death, but it certainly felt like an urgent matter to me.” She shrugged. “Besides, I thought you wouldn’t come otherwise.” She paused a moment before just saying it. “I’m pregnant.”

He stared at her, his mouth parted, his eyes wide and for the first time, Elizabeth knew she’d really shocked Jason.

“And just in case you’re interested, it is your child, there’s no doubt in my mind,” Elizabeth told him hesitantly, not all that sure he would challenge that fact.

“I wouldn’t…” Jason shook his head. “That wasn’t what I was thinking at all.”

“So…what are you thinking?” she asked softly. She folded her arms and looked away. “Because it’s crossed my mind that the whole night was a mistake and I’ve spent the last month trying to convince myself of that except that I don’t think that at all.”

“I don’t think it was a mistake either,” Jason admitted. “But it’d be a lot easier if we both did.”

“Why? Why did you leave and why have you spent that last month pretending it didn’t happen?” Elizabeth asked, her voice taking on a pleading note.

“Do you remember the day that you came to the penthouse to tell me Emily was awake and you and Courtney got into that fight?” Jason asked.

“You mean when Courtney jumped down my throat?” Elizabeth corrected. “Yeah.”

He exhaled slowly. “After you left, she accused me of wanting you back–of never getting over you. That I wanted to be with you because you could give me what she can’t–a child.”

Elizabeth paled and she took a step back. “You wanted to get me pregnant?” she asked, stricken.

“No, no,” he said quickly. “That’s not it at all. That’s just what Courtney said. But I denied all of those things when she said it and when I woke up that morning, with you in my arms, I realized I lied to her and I didn’t even know it.”

Elizabeth hesitated. “I don’t understand.”

“All those things Ric and Courtney said when we started talking again–that we wanted to be together, that we never got over each other…we both denied them every step of the way. And I realized that morning I’d been lying to her, to you and to myself.”

“So you realized you wanted me back so you went home to Courtney,” Elizabeth said slowly.

“I know it doesn’t make any sense,” he told her.

“You’re right. It doesn’t.” She dragged her hand through her hair and turned to look out the window. “I guess it doesn’t matter. You went home to her. In the end, you still wanted her more.”

“No, that’s not true–”

“It has to be since she’s the one you’re marrying in three days,” Elizabeth cut in. She turned back around. “None of that matters. I had to tell you that I was pregnant and now I have. So what do you want to do about it?”

He exhaled slowly. “I guess we have to talk about our options.”

She bit her lip. “I know it would be the easiest and quickest way to deal with this–you wouldn’t even have to tell her anything but I want it real clear that I am not even willing to consider–”

“That’s not what I meant,” Jason interrupted. He frowned at her. “Do you honestly think I would ask you to abort our child?”

“When people say options in regards to pregnancy, that’s usually what they mean,” Elizabeth remarked coldly.

“Not when I say it,” Jason snapped.

“Fine,” Elizabeth replied. “Then what did you mean? There’s very few options that I can think of. You go home, you tell Courtney and the two of you deal with this. We raise this child with joint custody. Or you decide that this is something you don’t want to deal with and you go home and we forget this conversation ever happened. Or you figure out who really want to be with and we raise this child together. What do you want to do?”

“You’re not even willing to discuss this?” Jason demanded. “You’re just leaving the ball in my court?”

“It’s been in your court all along,” Elizabeth replied simply. “You just refused to play.”

4

Her jaw felt unattached to the rest of her head–no matter how much she moved it up and down, it didn’t feel like it was part of her face anymore. It was an odd feeling, but so was the fog she was fighting through as she sat on the couch, staring into space.

When the last the time she’d taken a pill? An hour? Twenty minutes ago? She blinked and stared at the coffee table where her glass of water and a half-empty bottle of hydrocodone sat. Had it been longer than that? Had she even had any all day?

Somewhere in the distance a door open and she heard a voice start to speak. “Courtney. We have to talk.”

She turned her head to look at her fiancé, but it took almost a year it felt like and by the time she could finally focus on him, his words had already started to fade. She heard things like “care” and “family” and “three days” but she squinted and tried to pay more attention when the words “Elizabeth” and “spent the night with” were put together.

“Wait, what did you say?” Courtney said. She stood on shaky legs and tried to focus on the conversation. Why was the room spinning?

“Last month, I slept with Elizabeth,” Jason repeated. He narrowed his eyes. She looked kind of distant–almost sleepy. Had he woken her up? “And she’s pregnant.”

That got through. Elizabeth, the perfect pretty little china doll, had gotten her hooks back into Jason and now she’d given him the one thing that Courtney could never give him. A child.

“Well, that’s just great,” Courtney declared, grandly sweeping her arms, her movements just a little off and she stumbled a bit.

“Are you drunk?” he asked, curiously. He tilted his head to the side and took a step towards her. “Have you been drinking?”

“So, what is it? You wanted a child that bad you decided to screw your ex-girlfriend or was it because you j-just couldn’t resist her?” Her cheeks felt wet. She idly brought her fingertip to her skin and frowned. Was she crying?

He took another step towards her, genuinely concerned now. “Courtney–”

“So, you leaving me now?” she demanded, her voice rising and bordering on hysteria. “Is that what you came to do? Y-you calling off the wedding and you’re going to be with her now?”

She stumbled forward and managed to move away from him when he reached out to steady her arm.

“I was right wasn’t I?” Courtney cried. She tried to glare at him, but he was spinning–or was she spinning? And he was wet–or was she crying? “You love her! You never loved me!”

He reached for her then and she wondered why until she realized that the entire room was tilting and then there was a sharp pain and her vision exploded in bright pain before blackness coated everything.

5

Carly rested her hands on her protruding abdomen and was about ready to scream. They’d bee at the hospital for hours now and they still weren’t any closer to finding out if Courtney was okay and why she’d been so spacey.

She’d known her best friend was acting a little oddly but with the upcoming wedding and her fertility problems, she hadn’t blamed her. So if Courtney had been a little distant–a little strange…Carly had shrugged it off.

But maybe she’d been wrong. Maybe her sister-in-law had taken up drinking or something.

Something was off–she could see it in the way Jason was pacing. Guilt was in his eyes–in his movements, she could feel it coming off his body in huge waves.

“Go talk to him,” she hissed at Sonny.

Sonny shook his head. “I won’t be any good. He just feels bad because he wasn’t able to catch her before she hit the pool table.”

“Yeah,” Carly said before looking at Jason again. She didn’t think that was true at all, but she let it go.

6

She waited all night for him to come back and as the colors of the morning streaked across the sky, Elizabeth knew he wasn’t. The last time he’d promised to come back, she’d waited up all night for him. And she’d waited all day but he hadn’t come. Not until the next night when he’d shown up after she’d been trapped in the stairwell and he saw her with Zander.

But like that time, she’d believed him when he said he’d be back that night. He said he was going to go home and tell Courtney what had happened. It might take some time, he said, but he was going to leave her. And he was going to come back to Elizabeth.

But he didn’t come back. Not at eight, not at ten, not at midnight. She didn’t go to sleep and when dawn hit, she felt the tears well up in her eyes. Once again, he’d wanted her more.

Around noon, she was curled up on the couch, drifting in and out of sleep. She heard the locks click open but she didn’t sit up and didn’t even greet him as he came in. The door closed with a soft click.

“She’s addicted to painkillers,” Jason began quietly. His voice was hoarse and she wondered idly that if she looked at him–if his eyes would be red like they were that night in the chapel. “And when I started to tell her, she got angry and she stumbled and hit her head.”

Elizabeth still didn’t speak and he let out a slow breath. “She had a concussion and needed stitches. But she’s addicted to pills, she nearly overdosed.”

She could hear what he wasn’t telling her. She could hear that Jason wasn’t going to leave Courtney. Not even to raise his child with her. She could understand that. He couldn’t turn his back on her–he obviously loved her a great deal more than he’d realized. Her near overdose had probably convinced him of that.

“I can’t leave her now, Elizabeth. She needs me a-and if I did, she might…” the words hung in the air, unspoken but clearly understood.

She sat up but still didn’t look at him. “I’ll talk to a lawyer about drawing up some custody papers,” she said. She cleared her throat–she’d spent the morning crying and now her voice felt rusty and unused. “I’m sure we can come to some sort of agreement.”

“Elizabeth…”

“For the first few months, she’ll have to live with me. Because I’ll need to be able to feed her at all times of the day,” Elizabeth remarked softly. “But after that, we can work out some sort of joint custody arrangement.”

“It’s just for a little while,” he told her, his voice almost pleading with her to understand. And she did–she understood all too well.

He’d chosen someone else over her. Again.

“If you’re not going to choose me now, you never will and I’m not asking you too. It’s not an ultimatum. It’s not like I’m saying leave her or I won’t let you see your child. I’m just saying that you chose her all along and you will continue to do it.” She stood and started to fold her afghan. “I’m just sorry I ever believed you’d choose me.”

“This isn’t about choosing one person or the other,” he told her frustrated. “She needs me, Elizabeth–”

“And I don’t?” Elizabeth asked, looking at him for the first time. Her eyes were flat and determined. She’d made up her mind. “I’m pregnant with your child. I’ve got a drafty studio and a part-time job. And you’re saying your drug addicted fiancée needs you more than me?” She shook her head. “Ship her off to rehab, get her some counseling. This is not a difficult decision, Jason.”

“I can’t just abandon her–”

“But you can abandon me?” she asked, startled. “It’s okay to abandon me? I’m sorry, I’m not following your train of thought.”

“You know I’ll make sure you have everything you need,” Jason assured her. “We’ll find a house for you to live in–you won’t need to work–we can work this out, Elizabeth.”

“Where does it end?” she demanded. “If she tells you that she doesn’t think she can survive without being married to her, will you do that, too? Do you really believe you can get her off this addiction and then come to me and everything will be okay?”

“I–”

“This isn’t a negotiation, Jason. There’s nothing to work out. I told you that I wasn’t going to make demands. I’m not. But we need to make this clear from the very beginning. I’m not going to be the other woman waiting for you to get a divorce so we can be together. That’s not who I am.”

“You’re not making demands?” Jason scoffed. “What is this then? Leave her now or we can never be together? You don’t think that’s an ultimatum?”

“Maybe it is,” Elizabeth remarked. “You stood here yesterday and told me that you loved me, that you wanted to be with me and have a family. And a month ago, you kissed me. You’re the one who’s made the decisions in this relationship. And now I’m just supposed to say, well go ahead, go back to your fiancée while I go through this pregnancy alone?”

“You’re not going to be alone!”

“If she can manipulate you now, then it will never stop,” Elizabeth told him. “Because I guarantee you that the day I have an ultrasound, she’ll have a relapse. The day I need you for Lamaze classes, she’ll have a relapse. The day I give birth, she’ll have a relapse. You don’t think Courtney knows exactly how to keep you around?”

“And what about you?” Jason accused. “You didn’t think getting pregnant would do the same thing?”

It hung between them for a moment. He seemed shocked that he’d spoken and she was devastated that he thought so little of her.

“Get out,” Elizabeth said softly. “Get out right now. I can’t–I can’t look at you right now.”

“I didn’t mean it,” he said quickly. He came forward to try and touch her–take her into his arms, she didn’t know but she backed up quickly.

“I did not get pregnant to trap you,” Elizabeth said in a low voice. Tears stung her eyes. “I would never do that to you. I can’t believe you’d even suggest it.”

“I didn’t mean it,” Jason said again. “I’m just frustrated with the situation. Please, just….we can work this out.”

“I’m not going to keep you from your child, but I can’t deal with you right now.” She backed up against the wall, her hands in front of her, warding him off. “Maybe you didn’t mean it, but you said it so you must have thought it and I need to deal with that.”

“I just reacted–look this is not what I wanted to happen,” he said desperately. “I just need to see this through and then–”

“No,” Elizabeth told him. “I am not going to stand by and wait like a good little girl while she manipulates you into staying. Because I’ve believed you far too many times–I’ve trusted far too many times and I cannot handle it anymore. Every time that I’ve trusted you lately, you’ve let me done and I just…I can’t do it anymore. So please…get out.”

“No. I’m not leaving until you listen to me and we work something out–”

“There’s nothing to work out!” Elizabeth cried. “You either love me and want to be with me or you don’t. And you obviously don’t. So get out!”

“Please–”

“Get out,” she repeated.

7

“So, why didn’t you tell me I’m going to be an aunt?”

Elizabeth glanced up at Emily and sighed. “Zander has a big mouth.”

Emily sat down across from her best friend and signaled for a waitress. “I’m not going to tell anyone and I won’t even breathe a word to Jason if you don’t want me too. I just want to know why you didn’t come to me.”

“Because I only found out two days ago and since then, I’ve been dividing my time between crying and cursing your brother,” Elizabeth reported. She pushed her scrambled eggs around her plate.

Emily frowned but Penny was there before she could reply. “Just give me some wheat toast and an orange juice.” When Penny left, Emily looked at Elizabeth oddly. “I understand why the news wouldn’t be a good thing, what with the wedding only tomorrow–”

Stricken, Elizabeth stared at her. “They haven’t cancelled the wedding yet?”

Emily shook her head. “Were they supposed to?”

“I…he didn’t seem that upset when I told him,” Elizabeth said faintly. “And we decided we wanted to be together. He left to tell Courtney but he promised to come back to me.”

Emily sighed. “And he didn’t.”

“Not until the next morning,” Elizabeth answered. She felt a lump growing in her throat and she struggled to speak past it. “Apparently, Courtney’s addicted to painkillers and she was high when he tried to tell her. She fell and hit her head.”

Emily gasped. “Oh my God…is she okay?”

Elizabeth nodded. “I guess so. Well, she nearly overdosed and Jason decided he couldn’t leave her after all.”

Emily groaned. “Oh, sometimes I think my brother is more like his old self than he likes to think.”

Elizabeth shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

“Jason Quartermaine,” Emily clarified. “This reeks of Jason Quartermaine. He’d pick his commitment to his family over anything else. All the time. And now Jason Morgan seems to have picked up one of the worst personality traits his former self possessed.”

“It doesn’t matter. I assumed that they’d call off the wedding but I guess I was wrong.” She placed a hand protectively over her abdomen. “I guess I know where I rank again.”

“Rank?” Emily repeated.

“On Jason’s list of priorities.” Elizabeth stared at her breakfast. “We argued about this yesterday, about him always choosing them over me. He said this would only be for a little while and then we could be together but that’s…it’s not good enough for me, Emily.” She felt the familiar sting of tears. “Is it so selfish to want him with me during this? To not want him running off to her all the time?”

“Not at all.” Emily sighed. “Elizabeth…there has to be something I can do to help.”

“There is,” Elizabeth told her. She reached across the table and squeezed her best friend’s hand tightly. “You can just be there for me.”

“Now, that I can definitely guarantee.”

8

“I can’t believe you didn’t postpone this,” Carly muttered, trying to fit the veil over Courtney’s hair.

Courtney shakily applied her lipstick. “It’s just better if we do it now,” she murmured. If they were married, he wouldn’t be so quick to run off to little Elizabeth Webber and maybe…maybe Courtney could convince Elizabeth to just give them the kid and pay her to leave town. They could raise the baby themselves. They didn’t need her.

“I can’t believe you let yourself get addicted to painkillers. What were you thinking?” Carly demanded. “Why didn’t you just come to me?”

“Because I didn’t realize it was happening,” Courtney tried to explain. “I just thought I was getting rid of the pain.”

Carly sighed. “I just have a bad feeling about all of this, Courtney.”

9

“I’m not going to let you do this.”

Jason turned and saw his enraged sister standing in the doorway of the penthouse. He shook his head. “Emily…I don’t–”

She stalked towards him and ripped the bow tie he’d been about to wind around his neck from his hands. “Look, I get that you want to support Courtney through this drug addiction. That’s great, that’s fine, whatever you want to do.”

He stared at her. “You talked to Elizabeth.”

“Well, Elizabeth didn’t really have a choice,” Emily remarked testily. “Because Zander told me the news anyway. So you’re just going to abandon your child?”

“I’m not abandoning my child,” Jason retorted sharply. “I will do whatever I have to keep that child in my life.”

“You’re not doing such a great job so far,” Emily snapped. “You know, if you wanted to convince Elizabeth just how little she means to you, you’re doing a great job.”

“Elizabeth knows I love her,” Jason said, irritated. “And I know she knows it–because I told her!”

“Words are cheap and words are easy,” Emily said scathingly. “You told me that once. Anyone can say the words. They’ve been saying them to her all her life. You need to show her. Because your track record this past year has sucked.”

“It’s too late,” Jason muttered. He reached for the bow tie but Emily held it away from him. “Emily–”

“Look, I don’t ask for much, okay?” Emily said. “All I ever wanted is for you to be happy and if I honestly thought you’d be happy by marrying Courtney and spending the rest of your life as a weekend father, I’d let you do this. But you won’t. You are a wonderful person Jason, with an incredible sense of loyalty.” Her brown eyes bore into his blue ones. “But you’re wasting it on the wrong people. They exploit you–they know you will always be there and they use that. All they care about is what you can do for them.”

She tossed the bow tie on the couch and put her hands on her hips. “I have watched you for the past few months–since Courtney lost the baby. You have withdrawn into yourself. You don’t smile anymore and you’re barely a shadow of the brother I adore. And I watch your so-called best friends plan this wedding around you without once asking you what you wanted.”

“Emily–”

“All Elizabeth ever wanted to do was love you,” Emily said softly. “She wants to be the one who takes care of you–to be the one who makes you happy and you’re afraid of that. Because you know she loves you. You don’t know what do when someone loves you with their whole heart and only cares about what you want rather than what they want. You’ve never had that in your life. Not with Robin, not with Courtney and you sure as hell never had it with Carly.”

“Don’t make this any harder than it already is,” Jason pleaded with his sister. “I can’t change the past.”

“But you don’t have to fuck up your future either.” Emily shook her head. “You argued with me when I married Zander because you knew how I felt about Nikolas. You wanted me to do what I wanted instead of what was best for Zander. And I’m returning the favor. Forget Courtney, forget Sonny, forget Carly. Think about you. Could you really be satisfied only seeing your child on weekends? With not being able to tuck him in every single night and see him every single morning?” Emily stepped closer to him, seeing that she was getting through. “You remember how you felt when you gave Michael to Carly and walked out of the house that day? When he was crying and screaming for you and you had to walk away?”

“Stop it,” Jason pleaded, his voice hoarse, his eyes red. “Stop it.”

“Imagine having to do it over and over again,” Emily said relentlessly. She knew she was hurting him–it was killing her to bring up this memory to him. She knew the pain he’d gone through after losing Michael, but she had to make him understand. “When you hand your son or daughter off to Elizabeth after every visit and you walk out and your child screams at you to come back. You remember how hard it was to walk away once…do you want to have to do it over and over again?”

“Emily…” Jason trailed off helplessly. He closed his eyes. “You know I don’t. God, I’d do anything not to have to do that again.”

“But what you’re doing right now…the path you’re choosing…you are making sure that it happens,” Emily said, forcing her voice to be cold. “You will be part-time father. And one day…Elizabeth will get married to a man who really does love her–who puts her first. And he’ll be the one that tucks your child in every night and cooks breakfast for them in the morning. He’s the one that will be there to raise your child when you’re off doing business for Sonny or saving Courtney or cleaning up after Carly’s messes.”

“Stop it,” Jason ordered, tears slipping from his eyes. “Stop it. Don’t say another word.”

“And trust me, Jason. It will happen,” Emily said, her voice thick. “Because Elizabeth is wonderful, loving and giving person and she deserves someone like that. Who loves her and loves her son because apparently you’re content to take care of the Corinthos family instead of your own. She loves you–she wants you to be that man but it’s glaringly obviously that’s not what you want.”

“I do want that,” Jason told his sister, pressing a hand against his chest. “I’ve spent every moment of the last month thinking about her–about being with her. And since the second I found out she was pregnant, that’s all I’ve wanted to do.”

“Then do it,” Emily told him softly. She brought her hands up and framed his face. “For once, just do what you want to do. She loves you, Jason. You both are so very lucky that you’re getting another chance at happiness. Please don’t throw that away.”

This entry is part 2 of 2 in the Rest in Pieces

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine
You look so beautiful tonight
Remind me how you laid us down
And gently smiled before you destroyed my life

— Saliva, Rest in Pieces

10

Sonny studied his watch and then glanced down the street. He shoved his hands in his dress pockets and rocked back on his heels.

The door to the church opened and Carly walked out, joining him on the front step. “He’s late.”

“Yep.”

“Jason’s never late,” Carly said. Her dark eyes searched the street, hoping to hear a car or a motorcycle–something.
“He’s been distracted lately,” Sonny said after a moment. “And how could he have missed Courtney being addicted to hydrocodone? He lives with her. He’s engaged to her. He had to see something.”

“What about us Sonny?” Carly asked softly. “We live on the same floor. I’ve spent every day of the last month with her planning this day. I didn’t see it.” She folded her arms.

“We didn’t know to look for it,” Sonny said defensively.

“I don’t think he’s coming,” Carly remarked. She looked at her husband.

“Yeah. Me either.” He glanced at her. “You want to tell Courtney or should I?”

11

Elizabeth slid open the lock and pulled her door open to find a tuxedo-clad Jason standing in her hallway.

She immediately bit back her angry words when she saw his blood shot eyes. “Jason?” she asked uncertainly.

“I don’t–” he hesitated and cleared his throat. When he spoke again, his voice was a bit clearer, a little less hoarse. “I don’t want anyone else raising my child.”

She frowned. “What?”

“I don’t want anyone else tucking him in at night and making breakfast for you two in the morning.”

She was missing something here, something important and it was irritating her. “Jason–”

“I don’t want joint custody.” He took a step towards her, bringing his hand to touch her face. He stopped it in mid-air and it fell to his side.

“What do you want?” she asked breathlessly.

“I don’t know how to be any different–to be anyone other than who I am,” he told her.

“I don’t want you to be anyone else.” She took his hand in hers and pulled him inside the studio. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I know,” he said quietly. He rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. “I’ve never known that before.”

“What?” she asked, closing her eyes, too.

Without moving his head, he brought his hands up to frame her face. He kissed her gently. “Someone who doesn’t want to change me.”

“This isn’t going to be easy,” she told him.

“I don’t care,” he replied. He kissed her again, his mouth hot and searching. She reached out blindly and shut the door before losing herself in his touch.

“What did you tell her?” Elizabeth asked as Jason maneuvered her to the couch.

“Nothing,” he replied, pulling off his tux jacket. “I never showed up at the church.”

Elizabeth took his jacket from him and tossed it to the floor before moving her small fingers to the white buttons of his shirt. She glanced up at him curiously. “Then what made you change your mind?”

“Emily came by.” Her fingers stilled and she looked straight ahead at the little skin that showed above his collar. “She told me she wasn’t going to let me do it. That I deserved more–that you deserved more.” He touched her face but she still wouldn’t look at him. “She tortured me, actually. Made me remember how it felt to hand Michael to Carly and never look back.” She looked up at him then with tears in her eyes. “And she made realize that every time I gave our child back you after a visit, I would feel the same away.”

Her hands fell from his chest and landed at her sides. She took a step back and shook her head. “I don’t want you to be with me just for the baby.”

“I wasn’t finished,” Jason told her. “And then she talked about you finding someone who deserved you–and marrying him. And I don’t…I love you, Elizabeth. I haven’t done much lately to convince you of that, but it’s true.”

“What happens when Sonny and Carly find out you ditched the wedding?” Elizabeth asked softly. “And when Courtney has a relapse?”

“Do we have to have all the answers right now?” he asked her.

“I’d feel better if we did,” she remarked, folding her arms. “We have a nasty habit of making a commitment and running from it.”

He stepped towards her and gripped her shoulders lightly. “Not this time, Elizabeth.”

She peered up at him, her lashes wet and dark with tears. “I want to believe that,” she whispered.

“Then give me a chance to prove it.”

12

Courtney slammed the penthouse door shut, cutting off her concerned sister-in-law. She yanked the sweater off her shoulders and slammed it down on the desk.

That lying son of a bitch. He left her. He abandoned her on their wedding day so he could go to that little tramp.

Her hands were shaking and her neck started to ache. She started searching through the desk for something to take the edge off. She looked around and frowned when she saw the hydrocodone bottle sticking out from underneath the couch. It must have fallen over at some point and no one had seen it.

She practically dashed across the room, her white wedding dress rustling with every step. She fell to her knees and ripped the top off. She swallowed three pills dry and went into the kitchen for a glass of water.

It wasn’t working. The pain wasn’t going away. The shaking wasn’t leaving her body. She took two more. And then two more. She finished off four more before there wasn’t any left in the bottle.

But the pain still wasn’t going away. Enraged, she hurled the bottle across the kitchen before reaching for the half empty water glass and tossing that. It hit the bullet-proof window and shattered, the sound echoing in her mind over and over and over again.

She pressed her hands to her ears, trying to block the sounds out. But she could hear it and somewhere in there was Ric’s voice.

“Take a good look sweetheart because you’re alone, too.”

“He was waiting for my wife.”

“He wants her.”

“He never got over her.”

Courtney screeched, trying to block out his voice but it kept coming and then she heard AJ telling her that she wasn’t Jason’s type–that Jason went for small delicate girls like Robin and Elizabeth. Before long his voice was joined by Lorenzo Alcazar’s telling her that it was her fault she’d lost her baby–that it was her fault she couldn’t have children.

And then there was Jason’s voice. In the beginning telling her that he and Elizabeth worked well when they were alone. Saying that he’d slept with her. That they were friends. That she’d comforted him in the chapel. That she was pregnant.

The voices kept coming, faster and faster. Over and over. She kept screaming to try and shut up them up. She heard someone yelling her name but she couldn’t figure out who and anyway, it didn’t matter because all she could hear were people telling her Jason loved Elizabeth, that he always had and that she’d only been a poor substitute.

She kept screaming even after her voice gave out and she crumpled onto the kitchen, trying to figure out where she was and who was talking to her. She felt someone’s hands on her skin but she didn’t know who.

And just before her mind went dark and blank, she saw Jason in a tuxedo, waiting for Elizabeth the bride at the end of an aisle.

13

“I think the first thing we should do is find a house,” Jason remarked, pulling the door open for Elizabeth the next morning. She glanced at him over her shoulder as they headed for an empty table.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit much?” she asked. “We could just rent an apartment. Besides, I can’t afford to buy a house.”

He stared at her and she fidgeted under his gaze. “Well, I can’t,” she remarked lamely. She picked up the menu and studied it.

“You don’t have to worry about money,” Jason said. The menu snapped to the table and she glared at him. “I mean, don’t you want what’s best for our child?”

Her retort died on her lips and she narrowed her eyes. “That’s a low blow, Morgan.”

“Look, I know you like to be independent. That’s fine–that’s one of the things I love about you. But you said it yourself–your studio is drafty and too small and my penthouse is out of the question for a number of reasons.”

She glanced down at the table and sighed. “I just don’t feel right letting you do that kind of thing. I have to support myself.”

“I’m not saying you need to quit your job,” Jason told her. “But do you think you could let me take care of you?”

“I don’t like depending on other people,” Elizabeth told him bluntly. “It’s been my experience that as soon as you let yourself trust that they’ll always be there, they disappear.”

He winced. “I know. But this is different.”

“Yeah. Because I’m pregnant,” Elizabeth remarked. She picked the menu up again.

He took it from her. “You have that memorized and you’re just trying to avoid the subject. It’s different because this time we’re different. I know you don’t trust me yet but I’m asking you to try.”

“You’re going to have to give me time,” Elizabeth told him softly. “Because it’s not easy to do that again.”

“Yeah, I know. But this time, I’m not giving you any other options.”

14

“Oh, Lucky wait,” Emily hissed before her friend reached to open the door. She peered through the window. “Jason’s in there with Elizabeth.”

“I thought he was supposed to get married yesterday,” Lucky remarked curiously. He peeked over her head. “What’re they doing together?”

She saw Elizabeth smile and Emily couldn’t help but let a little sound that sounded like a squeal to her.

“What is going on?” Lucky demanded. “You’re happy, Elizabeth’s happy…what’d I miss?”

“As usual, everything,” Emily sighed. She glanced back in the window. “But this time, you missed my brother finally becoming the man he used to be.”

“The one that beat me up and stole my woman?” Lucky scowled.

Emily glared at him. “I sincerely hope you’re joking.”

“I am now,” Lucky assured her. “Anyway, what does that have to do with Elizabeth? Are they back together?”

“I hope so,” Emily replied.

“What?” a voice from behind them demanded.

They turned and Emily and Lucky exchanged troubled glances. “Hey, Carly,” Emily greeted. “How are you feeling?”

“Fat,” Carly retorted. She folded her arms tightly and glared at them. “Now I want you to explain what I just heard.” She peered past him and her eyes narrowed. “Never mind. I think I knowexactly what’s going on.”

15

“Jason, I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Elizabeth told him again. She started cutting up her scrambled eggs. “I mean, we should just–”

“I hope you’re happy.”

Carly’s voice cut in directly and silenced the entire diner. Jason didn’t even look up at her–he just clenched his fist around his coffee cup.

“Because of what you did yesterday, you have destroyed Courtney’s life,” Carly went on, her voice scathing and angry.

“Carly,” Elizabeth said softly, “maybe this isn’t a good time–”

“Shut up, you little tramp,” Carly bit out. “Because of you,” she said, looking back at Jason, “Courtney went back to the penthouse and she took more pills. You couldn’t even throw them away. You left them out and she took the entire bottle. She’s in a coma, Jason.”

He snapped his head up to look at her then, surprise etched on his face. “What?”

“That’s right, a coma. And the doctors think she’ll have irreversible brain damage if she ever wakes up.”

“That’s not fair to blame it on him,” Elizabeth interjected coldly. “She chose to take them.”

“And he knew what would happen if he left her,” Carly snapped back. “He knew she was emotionally vulnerable. And he abandoned her for you.” She tilted her head to the side. “What exactly is it that you have that she doesn’t? I’m just not seeing the attraction.”

Before Elizabeth could even think of a retort, Emily burst into the diner, having propped the door open to hear every single word that the hateful shrew spoke.

“You self-righteous little bitch,” Emily spat. “You just can’t handle the fact that my brother is happy can you? Because you know Elizabeth won’t put up with him being at your every beck and call. Because she won’t let him spend his entire life being your second husband.”

“You little brat–”

“You ruined Jason’s life more times than I count and now you’re trying to guilt him into spending the rest of his life at that little twit’s bedside.” Emily glared at the blonde. “I’ve got news for you, you whore, he’s not your lapdog, he’s not Sonny’s slave and I will be damned if I see him waste his life with that stupid idiot. Courtney chose to take those painkillers–she chose to take them again last night. She knew that there was a possibility Jason would walk out on the wedding and she set herself up to it. No one here but that little slut is to blame.”

By the time Emily was done her tirade, her face was red and her chest was heaving.

“Are you going to let her talk to me like that?” Carly asked Jason stunned.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Lucky said, jumping in. “You just ripped him apart in front of the entire diner and now you want him to defend you?”

Carly huffed. “I have to get back to the hospital. I don’t have the time to deal with this.” She stalked out of the diner.

Elizabeth reached across the table and squeezed Jason’s free hand. “Jason–”

“I have to go,” he said quickly. He stood up, his chair scraping against the floor. “I need to get out of here.”

Elizabeth’s eyes stung with tears. “Jason, wait–”

He brushed past his sister and Lucky and left the diner before anyone could say another word.

Elizabeth’s hands started to shake and she closed her eyes. She could hear Emily speaking and felt Lucky crouch in front of her, but it was all in the background.

She’d believed him again. Even though she’d told him she didn’t and she’d sworn not to, she believed him when he said he was sticking around.

She opened her eyes and managed a weak smile. “I’m okay,” she assured them both. “I just needed a second.”

“Elizabeth,” Emily began.

“No, really, I’m fine,” Elizabeth told her. “Besides, this is my fault. It’s the third time I’ve done this to myself. I have to stop believing him when he tells me he’s sticking around or that he loves me.”

“I see that I’m lost again,” Lucky remarked. “Anyone want to fill me in and I’ll pay for breakfast?”

16

Before Carly reached Courtney’s hospital room, she went into labor and by the time Jason got the hospital, Sonny and Carly were in the delivery room. So Courtney’s room was empty.

She was paler than usual and the room was silent, excluding the various beeps and clicking on the machines she was hooked up to.

He stood next to her bed and sighed. “It’d be so easy,” he murmured. “It’d be all too easy to give into the guilt and sit here, waiting for you to wake up.”

Her chest rose and fell almost mechanically and he knew that one of these machines was breathing for her.

“I’m sorry that what I did caused you to take those pills and a few months ago, I would have let myself take that route. I would have sat here waiting for you to wake up and when you did, I would have stood by you without batting an eye.”

He sighed and glanced towards the door. “But this is a different time in my life and as cruel as it sounds, Elizabeth’s waiting for me. I probably already hurt her by leaving like that and it’s going to take a long time before she trusts me again. But she will.”

He exhaled slowly. “I hope…I hope you wake up and that the doctors are wrong. But I can’t make this my life anymore. It’s not fair…not to me, not to Elizabeth, our child…and in the long run, it wouldn’t have been fair to you.”

He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead before leaving the room as quietly as he came.

17

Lucky kicked at her heater. “You stupid son of a bitch,” he muttered. “Work!”

“You so need to get the heating fixed in here,” Emily remarked, shivering. She yanked a comforter from it’s place on a shelf behind the couch. She spread it over the two of them.

“It’s next on my list, Em,” Elizabeth told her friend dryly. She sighed and rested her head against the back of the couch. “How’s the battle coming, Captain?”

Lucky grunted and gave the heater another sharp kick. It rumbled and finally kicked in. “I am the king!” he cheered.

Emily laughed. “Yeah, yeah.” She sighed. “He does love you.”

“Emily, I don’t really want to hear that right now, okay?” Elizabeth asked softly. “Thanks for making Lucky fix my heater.”

“No problem. But come next month…if you’re still here, I want you to come stay with Zander and me at the cottage, okay?”

“I’ll think about it, Em,” Elizabeth told her.

“Okay, this place is starting to warm up,” Lucky told her. He looked at Emily. “I promised Zander I’d have you home by noon.”

Emily wrinkled her nose. “He’s such a dictator,” she joked. She came out from underneath the comforter. “You look tired–get some sleep. We’ll all go out for diner tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure.” She hugged them goodbye and then snuggled into her couch to take a long nap.

Fifteen minutes later, she became conscious of someone staring at her. She slowly opened her eyes to see Jason crouched in front of her. She jackknifed into a seated position and stared at him. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry for leaving Kelly’s like that earlier.” He straightened and sat down next to her. “I had a bad reaction to Carly’s news and it wasn’t fair to you.”

“I thought…” she looked away. “I thought her guilt trip had worked.”

“Yeah, I know.” He reached out and took one of her hands in his. “I went to the hospital to see Courtney. To say goodbye.”

She frowned. “I hope you didn’t run into Carly or Sonny.”

Jason shook his head. “She went into labor, so I was able to avoid them both.” He sighed. “I’m sorry that I did it the way I did. I know I could have handled it better.”

“It’s okay,” Elizabeth shrugged.

“It’s not okay,” he told her firmly. He kicked off his boots and pulled the comforter over them both, gathering her against his chest. She tucked her head under chin. “I made you doubt me again and I don’t like knowing that. I want you to trust me.”

“It’s hard,” she said, softly. She closed her eyes. “Every time I think I do…something else happens.”

“I know.”

“What happened at the hospital?” Elizabeth asked after a moment.

“She wasn’t awake, if that’s what you mean.” He hesitated. “She was hooked up to all these machines and I think one of them is breathing for her.”

“I’m so sorry,” she said softly, squeezing his hand. “That must have been hard.”

“It would have easy to give into the guilt trip and that bothers me. I never used to do what people wanted me to do–I mean, I’d clean up Carly’s messes and take care of business for Sonny but it never seemed to interfere with anything before. Robin never really minded a-and she and I were apart for so long that I got too used to that being my life. And when you walked away, it was all I had left.”

“I won’t apologize for that,” she told him quietly.

“I’m not asking you too. But I threw myself into work and then Courtney happened…it all feels like a blur to me, Elizabeth. Sometimes I couldn’t even distinguish one day from the other.”

She sighed. “We’re just too stubborn for our own good,” she murmured. “Because I felt the same way.”

“Well…it took us long enough to get here but we’re finally on the same page again. What do you want to do now?”

“Right now, I just want to sleep,” Elizabeth told him. She yawned. “I’m so tired.”

“Sleep I can handle.”

18

Sonny paced outside his sister’s hospital room. He’d had a long day and night–but finally Carly had brought their son into the world. John Michael Corinthos was as perfect as he could be and both mother and baby were resting peacefully.

That left Sonny to try and fix his crumbling family. Courtney was in a coma and Jason…he wasn’t quite sure where Jason was. Carly had gone to find him, but had gone into labor and they hadn’t had a chance to talk about it since.

He pulled out his cell phone and dialed the number of Brenda’s cottage.

“‘Ello?” Zander said.

“Zander, this is Sonny, is Emily there?” Sonny requested.

“Yeah, hold on.” He heard Zander call to his wife in the background. “She’s coming.”

“Sonny?” Emily said.

“Hey…have you seen Jason?”

Immediately, Emily’s voice turned cold. “Why?”

Sonny frowned. “Well…Courtney’s here in a coma and her fiancé hasn’t shown up. I’m worried. His cell phone is off.”

“You don’t know,” Emily stated plainly. “Oh. Well, Jason isn’t available right now, so I’ll ask him to get in touch when I see him.”

“Emily–”

“Now you know how hearing that feels,” Emily said before hanging up.

Sonny flipped his cell phone shut and sighed.

19

Emily looked at Zander and shook her head. “He has no idea that Jason left Courtney for Elizabeth.”

“I thought you said he left the diner like a bat out of hell to get to the hospital,” Zander said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

Emily shook her head, distracted. “No. He left the diner and we assumed he went to the hospital. But Sonny hasn’t seen him since before the wedding.”

“Well maybe he needed some time by himself to process it all,” Zander remarked.

“Do you think he went back to Elizabeth?” Emily asked thoughtfully.

“He better have or else me and Lucky are going to have to kill him.” He rested his chin on her shoulder. “She was scared about telling him, you know. Afraid of his reaction.”

“He wants a family,” Emily said knowingly. “And I can’t think of anyone more suited to be the mother of his children. Elizabeth loves him. Despite everything, despite this last year, she really loves him. And he loves her. So why can’t they get it together?”

“Well, they kind of have to now don’t they?” Zander asked. “Elizabeth is going to have his child whether he went back to her or not. They’re kind of forced to get it together.”

“Couldn’t have happened to more deserving people,” Emily joked.

20

“I’m not doing it.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes, exasperated. “Could you give us a few minutes?” she asked the realtor before pulling Jason onto the porch. ” What is your problem?” she asked.

“It’s too far out of town,” Jason told her. “It’s in a bad area–”

“You used to live three houses down with Robin,” Elizabeth told him pointedly. “It’s close to Emily and Zander and it’s something I can afford to help pay for.”

“You’re not using your money,” he said out of habit. He rolled his shoulders. His entire body felt tense. For the past week, they hadn’t any run-ins with Carly or Sonny and things seemed to be going well between them.

So, naturally, he felt like something bad was going to happen.

“Look, what’s really wrong?” she asked softly. “Are you having second thoughts about doing this?”

“No,” Jason said firmly. “I want us to build a life together…and if a cottage so close to Emily is what you want…then that’s what we’ll do.”

“If you don’t like it–”

“I’m just not thrilled about living so close to Zander,” Jason told her.

“Are you sure that’s it?” Elizabeth asked, suspiciously.

“Yeah.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a checkbook. “This is for you.”

She frowned at him and opened it to see a stack of checks in hers and Jason’s names. “What is this?”

“They’re checks drawn on our joint account. You can write a check for the house,” Jason told her.

“But we don’t have a joint account.”

“Yes, we do. I opened it yesterday.”

“It’s not a joint account if it’s all your money,” Elizabeth remarked crossly.

“Look, what am I going to do with it?” he asked softly. “It just sits in the bank gaining interest. I never use it. Why shouldn’t you reap one of the very few benefits my job allows?”

“Because I didn’t earn it.”

“Neither did I, not really,” Jason told her. “Look, can we argue about this later? I have to go talk to Sonny about the job anyway.”

“That’s what’s bothering you, isn’t it?” Elizabeth asked. “Why do you have to look for him? He hasn’t come looking for you.”

“I just want to get this over with so it’s not hanging over our heads.” He kissed her forehead. “Go to Emily’s when you’re done here and I’ll pick you up there.”

“Okay,” Elizabeth sighed.

21

“I’m thrilled that you guys are gonna live down the street,” Emily said, hugging her friend tightly. She took Zander’s hand in hers and squeezed it. “We can have dinners together and–”

“I think we’re hoping for a little much considering your brother isn’t all that fond of me,” Zander interrupted with a grimace. “And believe me, the feeling is entirely mutual.”

Elizabeth sat down on the couch and sighed. “I’m not sure getting a place together is for the best.”

Emily frowned and sat down. “What are you talking about?”

“She’s come to her senses?” Zander prompted, sitting on the arm of the couch. Emily socked him in the shin. “Ow!”

“Because Jason put my name on his bank account and expects me to let him pay for everything,” Elizabeth muttered.

“Well, he’s got a lot of money. It makes sense that he wants to provide for his family.” Emily smiled. “And, thank God, that family is you and your child.”

“He’s going overboard with all of this so that I will trust him and believe in him. I mean, he’s doing absolutely anything he can think of.” Elizabeth sighed. “He spends every day with me, all we do is talk about this last year and the problems we’ve had. He drives me to work, he picks me up, he stops in on my breaks. And now he’s overcompensating by buying a house so quickly. It’s like if we can get a normal life, he thinks that’ll make it all better and it can’t.”

“He’s made some major life changes this last week–he just needs time to adjust to it all.”

“He went to see Sonny about his job,” Elizabeth told her softly. “Does Sonny know that Jason left Courtney for me?”

“Yeah, but he doesn’t know you’re pregnant,” Emily replied.

“What I wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall during that conversation,” Zander remarked.

“You are so not helping. Go outside and water the flowers or something,” Emily told him, irritated.

“Yes, ma’am,” Zander saluted. He stood and disappeared into the back of the house.

“Look, I think it’s time you make a leap of faith,” Emily told her best friend. “I don’t in any way condone half of Jason’s decisions these last few months but he’s trying to make up for them now. He wants you to trust him.”

“It’s all happening so fast,” Elizabeth murmured. “Two weeks ago–a week ago, he was going to marry Courtney and now we’re buying a house. I just…I can’t deal with this.”

“Well, maybe he is overcompensating. Maybe he thinks if he gets this house and you two move in together–it’ll go a long way towards earning your trust again.”

“I think I’m going to talk to him when he gets here,” Elizabeth said firmly. “He’s got to understand that all the actions in the world aren’t going to help–I just need time.”

22
Sonny heard his footsteps even before he saw Jason. He entered Courtney’s hospital room. “Sonny.”

“You’re late,” Sonny said quietly. He stood up from his chair and faced his best friend. “I knew you’d come to your senses.”

Jason sighed heavily. “No, I haven’t.”

Sonny frowned. “Excuse me?”

“I came to talk to you about the job.” Jason shook his head. “I’m not leaving Elizabeth.”

“I don’t understand,” Sonny said. “A week ago, you were going to marry my sister. And suddenly you leave her for your old girlfriend? And you think that’s just okay?”

Jason exhaled slowly. “I don’t expect you to understand–but I wish you did. I love Elizabeth. Much like the way you love Brenda, except while you see her as your poison and want to stay as far away as possible, I love Elizabeth and I want to be with her.”

“Then what the hell was this past year about?” Sonny demanded. “Asking my sister to marry you, telling her you loved her.”

“I cared about her, I told myself I loved her and that marrying her was the right decision and right up until a week and a half ago, I was going to do that.”

“So what the hell changed your mind?” he barked.

“Elizabeth told me she was pregnant,” Jason replied shortly. “And I would rather be with her and raise a family than to spend the rest of my life taking care of yours.”

“Pregnant,” Sonny repeated. “I take it that you believe the child is yours.”

“I know it is,” Jason snapped, harshly.

“Which means you cheated on my sister,” Sonny said quietly. “When?”

“Early October,” Jason said without shame. “I love her, but I went back to Courtney out of guilt. But I can’t do that anymore.”

“Then are are you here now?”

“My job,” Jason remarked.

“You don’t have a job if you’re going to betray my family,” Sonny said shortly.

“That’s fine. I guess I just needed it said out loud,” Jason told her. “Goodbye.”

23

“I hate you!” Elizabeth screeched.

Jason frowned. “Excuse me?”

“She doesn’t mean it,” Emily assured him. She glanced at her best friend, sweating and breathing heavily. “I don’t think she means it.”

“Does it hurt that much?” Jason asked curiously, pushing Elizabeth’s damp hair off her forehead. She glared at him.

“You’re never touching me again.”

“She doesn’t mean that either,” Emily said hurriedly.

“Yeah, women say crazy things when they’re in labor,” Lucky said helpfully.

“How–would–you know?” Elizabeth grunted.

“I watch TV,” Lucky said defensively.

“Okay, it’s time to clear the room for everyone except the parents,” Dr. Meadows announced. “Scoot!”

Emily squeezed Elizabeth’s hand. “Good luck, honey.”

“Yeah, let’s hope this kid looks like you,” Lucky told her. Catching Jason’s dark glare, he hastily kissed her on the forehead and left the room with Emily on his heels.

“Okay, are you ready for this baby, Ms. Webber?”

“Will the pain stop when it’s out?” Elizabeth demanded.

Dr. Meadows laughed. “It should.”

“Then let’s do this.”

24

Almost two hours later, Jason exited the delivery room with a tiny pink bundle clutched in his arms.

“It’s a girl,” he said softly.

Emily leapt up from her seat, followed by Zander, Lucky, Nikolas and Audrey as they all tried to crowd around him.

“How’s Elizabeth?” Audrey asked, cooing over her great-granddaughter. “She’s so beautiful.”

“Elizabeth’s fine. She was born almost a half hour ago but we’ve just been sitting in there staring at her.” Jason met his sister’s eyes. “She’s beautiful isn’t she? She’s perfect.”

“Oh, Jason, she’s so small,” Emily breathed.

“We named her Emma,” Jason told her. “Emma Audrey Webber Morgan.”

“Such a long name for such a small little girl,” Nikolas said, almost amused.

“Mr. Morgan, we have take her to the nursery,” the maternity nurse remarked, reaching for his daughter. Jason reluctantly placed Emma into her arms.

“Oh, Jason, I can’t believe she’s finally here!” Emily cried, throwing her arms around her brother. She laughed. “I’m an aunt!”

“Is Elizabeth up for visitors?” Audrey asked.

“She was kind of drowsy when I left but I know she wanted to see you,” Jason said.

25

“Darling, how do you feel?” Audrey asked.

“Kind of numb,” Elizabeth replied, sleepily. “They gave me an epidural so I don’t really feel anything.

“Your daughter is absolutely beautiful,” Audrey told her, squeezing her granddaughter’s hands. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Are you?” Elizabeth asked softly.

“Of course. You just gave me a beautiful great-granddaughter. You live in a beautiful home, you’re a successful artist with your own wall at the art gallery. You’ve bloomed over the last eight months and you’ve been so happy, darling.”

“You don’t know how much it means to hear those words from you,” Elizabeth whispered. “You don’t even care that Jason is her father?”

“Oh…well, you’ve forced me to get to know him as who he is, and not the man I’ve read about. And Jason Morgan, the mechanic, is a wonderful man who loves you very much.”

Elizabeth smiled faintly. “Yeah, it took a while but I believe that too.”

The door opened then and Jason peeked in. “Hey…”

Elizabeth’s smile widened and she reached out a hand. “Hey, Emma in the nursery?”

Jason nodded and sat on her next to the bed, her hand held tightly in his. “They’ll bring her to your room once you’re moved to a more permanent one.”

Audrey smiled. “I’ll leave you two alone.” She kissed Elizabeth’s forehead and surprised both of them when she hugged Jason. “I’ll be in the hallway with the rest of them. They’re already arguing about godparents.”

“We already decided that and they know it,” Elizabeth said, highly amused. “It’s Zander and Emily.” She smiled at Jason. “Lucky and Nik can be godparents for the next kid. They’ll think it’s great.”

“They’re men.”

“So Lucky can be the godmother,” Elizabeth joked.

Audrey left laughing.

“The next kid?” Jason asked with a smile. “Do you think you’ll be ready for that any time soon?”

Elizabeth snorted. “Ask me when the drugs wear off.” Her thumb stroked a little circle on his hand. “I’m sorry for the stuff I said during labor. I don’t hate you.”

“Yeah, Emily mentioned you didn’t mean it.”

“You remember that thing we talked about last week?” she asked softly, meeting his eyes.

“Yeah, the one you said you needed more time to think about?”

“I don’t think I need any more time.” She smiled. “I love you, Jason. And my answer is yes.”

He leaned forward and captured her lips in a gentle kiss. “I promise that I will never make you doubt me again.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” she whispered, kissing him again.