“When I was in the coma,” Carly Corinthos began hesitantly, “I had these…I guess you could say that they were dreams. But they felt…they felt so real.”
She glanced over at Dr. Cameron Lewis who just nodded and indicated she should continue. “I was with another man and I lived another life,” Carly continued. “It was almost like reliving memories. I remembered his touch, his kiss, the day he proposed, when I found out I was pregnant…” her breath hitched. “The day he died.”
“And when you woke up?” Cameron pressed.
“I still remembered those memories, those feelings but…” she hesitated again and stared at her hands. “I didn’t remember feelings from this life. The memories are there. But notthe feelings behind them.” She looked at her therapist. “What do you think that means?”
Elizabeth Webber’s Studio
Even if it’s a lie
Say it will be alright
Elizabeth Lansing sank slowly onto the old couch in her drafty studio, her lips pressed firmly together. Her eyes were trained on the white stick in her hands.
A plus sign.
This was bad, this was so bad. This was very, very bad.
Haye’s Landing House
And I shall believe
There was something about this life that called to Courtney Matthews-Morgan. Something about the certainty that when she woke up in her bedroom at the rented house with the knowledge that Brian Beck would be stopping by after breakfast.
It shouldn’t be an attractive idea but was it so wrong to like the idea that a man could have a normal schedule? That his life wasn’t tied to a cell phone? That he wouldn’t run away in the middle of the night with the option of him never coming home?
General Hospital: Cameron Lewis’s Office
I’m broken in two
And I know you’re on to me
“Well, it’s never easy to say, Carly,” Cameron answered. “Sometimes our dreams are pipelines into our subconscious and sometimes they’re just dreams. Fantasies.”
Carly sighed. “But my feelings…I have a husband. Two children. And I can’t…there’s nothing there. Isn’t there something wrong with that?”
Elizabeth Webber’s Studio
That I only come home
When I’m so all alone
Elizabeth started to pace, a hand braced over her flat abdomen. Pregnancy was…it was not a good thing. Not right now. Not when her life had been so out of control she’d slept with three men.
Her eyes closed as the thought she’d been avoiding finally surfaced. Three men. Three candidates.
She sank back onto the couch, fear in her eyes.
Haye’s Landing House
But I do believe
Courtney leaned her head against the glass window that looked out over the front yard of her little safe haven. Michael and Brian were on the lawn, playing catch. Michael was laughing like he hadn’t laughed in months.
Morgan’s soft cries caught her attention and she went to check on her nephew.
If she closed her eyes for just a moment, she could almost believe this was her life.
Normal. Safe.
General Hospital: Cameron Lewis’s Office
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
“I don’t want to tell you there’s something wrong with you when I can’t possibly make that kind of diagnosis after one session,” Cameron told her. “But I do feel that there is something psychosomatic going on.”
“What do you mean by that?” Carly asked hesitantly.
“I know a bit about you,” Cameron replied. “I know about the high-risk pregnancy you went through, the stress you’re now dealing with after your coma and with your estranged husband imprisoned for your shooting. Your sister-in-law has taken your children to another town.”
“I should miss them,” Carly said. “I remember having the feelings of love for them both but I don’t have the actual feelings anymore. And I just can’t…Jason thinks I should call Courtney and tell her to bring them home but part of me thinks…” she paused and looked away. “Part of me thinks they’re better off where they are.”
Elizabeth Webber’s Studio
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Elizabeth threw out the test and tugged on her red coat. There was no point in getting all upset about this…home pregnancies were notorious for being wrong.
She just had to go to the hospital and find out for sure.
And then she’d find out how far along she was and when she knew that…
Then she’d panic.
Haye’s Landing House
Please say honestly you won’t give up on me
And I shall believe
“Aunt Courtney!” Michael burst into the front room exuberantly. “Brian says that they get a lot of snow here and he says he can take me sledding!”
Courtney smiled and looked at the dark-haired man standing behind her nephew with a grin. “Well, when does it snow?”
“Should come any day now,” Brian remarked in that easy going tone she’d become accustomed to. His brown eyes sparkled. “I’d be more than happy to take the lady of the house sledding as well.”
“Yeah, Aunt Courtney, we could all go!” Michael said urgently. He grabbed her hand jumped up and down excitedly. “Please!”
“Well, if it means that much to you…” Courtney met Brian’s eyes and was startled to feel a slight flutter in her stomach.
That was not a good sign.
General Hospital: Cameron Lewis’s Office
And I shall believe
“Why do you say that?” Cameron asked curiously. “They’re your children. You remember loving them, you remember raising Michael at least.”
Carly sighed and crossed her legs at the ankle, trying to find a comfortable position. “But right now, there’s nothing there and Michael looks at me with all this love and the guilt…it overwhelms me because he expects–and he deserves for his mother to look at him the same way and right now I can’t. So he’s better off with someone who can.”
Elm Street Pier
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
Elizabeth hurried down the stairs and was in such a hurry to get to the other side of the docks that she almost didn’t hear Jason Morgan call out to her.
She stopped in her tracks and turned. “Hey.”
“You seem to be in a hurry,” he said quietly.
She nodded, licked her lips nervously, her eyes darting anywhere but his face. “It’s cold,” she said lamely.
Jason nodded and rubbed the back of his neck. “How are you?”
“I’m fine.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “You?”
“Fine,” he answered. He knew she was lying and he thought she knew he was lying as well. But they’d been playing this polite game for a while and he wasn’t about to go back to where they’d once been.
It wasn’t their old friendship but it certainly wasn’t the blind hatred of the past year.
Haye’s Landing House
I know it’s true
No one heals me like you
Courtney handed Brian a steaming cup of hot chocolate. “I don’t have any coffee,” she told him.
He nodded and his eyes followed her across the room. “Did I do anything wrong?”
Frowning, she turned back to him. “Why would you ask that?”
“Because you won’t look me in the eyes.”
She flushed. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just…” Courtney sighed and looked at him, being careful to meet his gaze head on. “You make me feel things I shouldn’t.”
General Hospital: Cameron Lewis’s Office
And you hold the key
Cameron nodded. “That’s a very natural reaction and there’s truth to that. Your son has had a very emotional short life, the less upheaval, the better for him.” He set aside his note pad and peered at Carly closely. “Tell me about your marriage before the shooting.”
“We were separated,” Carly said flatly. “I remember that it wasn’t what I wanted but Sonny wanted his family safe.” She chucked bitterly. “I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard the phrase in the last four years.”
“And it bothers you that Sonny puts the safety above your happiness.”
“Yes,” Carly said. “You get it. Finally!” She stood and started to pace. “Maybe now that I don’t have the love for him…I can look at this situation objectively.”
“And maybe that’s why you can’t remember that love to begin with,” Cameron suggested.
Elm Street Pier
Never again
would I turn away from you
“How’s Carly?” Elizabeth inquired. She slid her hands in her pockets and kept her eyes on the wooden planks of the docks.
“She’s fine,” Jason answered.
He was fine, she was fine, Carly was fine. It made her want to scream because none of them were fine. Jason–newly married–was already separated from his wife. Carly couldn’t remember any emotions and Elizabeth was pregnant with…someone’s child.
He saw the flash of something in her eyes. “Is something wrong?”
“No,” Elizabeth said quickly. Too quickly and they both knew it. He narrowed his eyes and almost looked like he was going to press the issue. She cleared her throat nervously. “I have to go.”
Haye’s Landing House
I’m so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
The silence was almost unbearable and if there anything she hated, it was the silence. She was always talking, always trying to fill silences and it was something she knew annoyed Jason.
“Say something,” Courtney said softly. She tucked her hair behind her ears and crossed her arms, almost hugging herself.
“I’m not sure what I should say,” Brian said after a moment. “You–as you have told me so often–are a married woman and I respect the vows of marriage.”
She nodded. “Okay. Then we can just drop this subject.” She started past him but he caught her elbow.
“But you make me feel things I shouldn’t either,” he finished in a quiet voice, his stare unnerving her.
General Hospital: Cameron Lewis’s Office
And I do believe
Carly nodded. “You think this ties back into the psychosomatic thing from earlier. That I don’t want to remember how I feel about my family because it blinds me to the situation. That it makes me do things that aren’t right for me because I want to do what’s right for them.”
“It’s certainly something to be looked at,” Cameron agreed. “Tell me about yourself. Before the marriage. Before you were Sonny’s wife, who were you?”
Carly sank into her seat, her eyes sad. “I can hardly remember who I used to be.” She focused on her therapist. “That’s probably not a good thing, huh?”
General Hospital: Lynn Meadow’s Office
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
Elizabeth pulled her sleeve down and looked at Dr. Meadows. “When will I have the results?”
Her obstetrician sighed. “I’ll put a rush on them. If you are pregnant again, we need to monitor it carefully.”
Elizabeth’s eyes widened in fear. “You said there was no damage from before.”
“There’s not. But we’d just like to be sure.” Dr. Meadows touched her arm. “Elizabeth, from the symptoms you’ve given, the time you’ve been late and the pregnancy positive…”
“You think I’m probably pregnant,” Elizabeth finished softly. “Yeah. I figured.”
Dr. Meadows handed her a stack of pamphlets. “You might still have some of these but there’s some things in there you might want to read about pregnancy after miscarriages and whatnot.”
Elizabeth nodded. “Thanks. You have my new number?”
The doctor nodded. “We’ll call you when we have the results.”
Haye’s Landing House
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Courtney pulled away from Brian slowly and tore her eyes from him. “Brian–”
“But you are a married woman and my feelings really have no importance, do they?” he said. He stepped away from her.
“Don’t say that!” Courtney cried out, surprising them both. “They do. And so do mine. I just…don’t know what to think.”
“Why don’t you stop thinking and just trust the way you feel?” Brian asked.
“I can’t,” she whispered. She stepped away from him. “You’d better go.”
General Hospital: Cameron Lewis’s Office
Please say honestly
You won’t give up on me
“Your hour’s up,” Cameron said. He stood. “I feel like we’ve gotten a real good start here, Carly. I’d like you to come back.”
Carly nodded. “I will come back. Thank you, Dr. Lewis.”
She left his office and moved towards the elevators. Her head was down, digging through her purse for her car keys and she didn’t see Elizabeth coming towards her.
And I shall believe
Elizabeth was flipping through the stack of pamphlets, intending only to weed out those she didn’t already have. It worried her that Dr. Meadows wanted to monitor this pregnancy so closely–it had never occurred to her that her miscarriage might weigh negatively.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t see Carly.
They slammed into each other. Carly’s keys went flying and so did the pamphlets.
I shall believe
Elizabeth watched in horror as they fell to the ground almost in slow motion.
Carly stooped down and started to gather them. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t–” She broke off and looked up at the panic-stricken brunette. “Elizabeth…you’re pregnant?”
Elizabeth nodded slowly. “Yeah,” she whispered.
Carly stood up and handed the pamphlets to her. “It seems so…I don’t know how to ask this.” She took a deep breath. “Who is the father?”
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
Patrick made his way into the lab, exhausted and hoping that Robin had made some progress. If she hadn’t, he would have to think of way to tell Elizabeth Spencer that her son would probably not survive the night.
Thoughts of Elizabeth and Cameron slipped from his mind when he saw Robin lying in a heap on the floor. Everything stopped, everything froze. His vision narrowed and for a moment in time, he couldn’t move.
When he saw her head move a little, heard the moan escape through her lips, it broke the moment and practically flew across the room to kneel at her side. “Robin, wake up, okay? You have to wake up–” He broke off and took a deep, stabilizing breath before lifting her into his arms and moving quickly towards the door.
“I knew she should have gone home,” Robert seethed as he paced out front of Robin’s hospital room. “I should have tied her up, tossed her in the car and then handcuffed her to something steel as far away from this hospital as possible.”
“Hey, she wouldn’t have gone,” Luke Spencer assured his old friend. “And she’s Anna’s daughter so she would figured out a way to free herself and come back here because she’s just that kind of person.”
“I ought to kill you,” Mac muttered to Luke. “Bringing this virus here–why can’t you have normal vacation like everyone else?”
“Oh, believe me,” Luke nodded, “Its tropical islands and drinks with umbrellas from here on out.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Did Jason and Carly make any progress in the islands?”
“I haven’t heard from them since they said they found the antidote.” Robert started to pace again. “Why we’re depending on a thug and a woman who’s no better than a common–”
“A common what?” Carly demanded shrilly as she stalked up to them. “Maybe for that I’ll just give the antidote to my kids and tell you and the rest of the hospital to go to hell–”
“I know places to hide a body,” Robert threatened, stepping up to the shorter woman. “Where no one will ever find you.”
“Okay, okay…” Luke eased between them. “Caroline, this isn’t the time to be yourself,” he admonished. “Robin’s sick and the old dinosaur over here gets touchy when his daughter’s dying.”
Carly frowned and glanced towards the door. She stepped up to the window and peered inside to see Patrick seated by an unconscious Robin. “She wasn’t anywhere near the patients, though. I–” she flicked a glance back at the trio of men gathered behind her. “I was talking to Mama about the virus before Jason and I left and she was talking about how glad she was Robin would be in the lab. How did she contract it?”
“She was in the ER helping out until we quarantined,” Mac answered with a frown of his own. “Why does that matter?”
“She didn’t figure out the serum?” Carly asked. “I thought that’s what she was working on–”
“She did,” Robert nodded. “But we had to give it to the worst case and that was Cameron Webber. He’s recovering so if Robin had just had more time–” he shook his head. “Why does that matter? Give me the antidote.” He held out his hand.
“It matters because Robin happens to matter to people I care about.” Carly planted her hands on her hips. “Look, I don’t like her, I don’t plan on liking her but Sonny cares about her, Jason always will and does most of the hospital staff, including my mother. I don’t want her to die.” Her lips curved into a smirk. “Life is more fun with her around.” She dug into her pocket and removed a few vials of the antidote. “Jason has the rest. I was taking this up to pediatrics for Morgan, Kristina and Cameron when I over heard the conversation.” She handed Robert one of the vials. “But since Cameron doesn’t need it anymore…”
Robert snatched it from her hand and went into the room, followed by Mac. Luke smiled at Carly. “Caroline, you do me proud sometimes. Going out there, finding an antidote and giving it to your worst enemy. What a mature thing to do.”
Carly wrinkled her nose. “Please. You’re making me nauseous.” She tucked the vials away in her pocket. “I’m not stupid, Luke. I know exactly what’s in the past and I’m just saying I don’t need another casualty on my head.” She shrugged uncomfortably. “But as far as Robin needs to know, Jason found the antidote and brought it back, are we clear?”
“How much do we even know about this?” Patrick demanded as he nervously watched Robert inject the liquid into Robin’s IV. “What if it makes her worse?”
Robert shook his head. “Carly took the antidote and her fever broke in less than ten minutes. And if she and Jason hadn’t taken their sweet time getting here, maybe Robin never would fell ill in the first place.” He set the syringe aside and folded his arms. “You can go check on your other patients now, Dr. Drake.”
“I don’t think so,” Patrick sat on the edge of Robin’s bed and monitored her vitals as the antidote slowly worked its way through her body.
Mac shifted. “The next time this happens, we’ll take your route,” he told his brother. “We’ll tie her up and then have Anna stand guard. She’ll keep Robin from escaping.”
“Deal.”
Robin moved her head from side to side, her lips parting on a small moan. “My head…”
Patrick immediately moved to inject some painkillers into her IV line. “That should help,” he told her before taking his place at her side again. “Welcome back, Dr. Scorpio.”
“Patrick…” Robin blinked her eyes and licked her lips. “How long…?”
“Two days,” Patrick reached for her hand and squeezed it. “You know, if you wanted my attention, all you had to was ask. No need to get all dramatic.”
She laughed weakly. “Still the most arrogant…” her eyes flickered for a moment and she focused on her father. “Daddy…?”
“Hey, Baby.” Robert knelt at her side and kissed her forehead. “You do know that thanks to you, your mother is probably over the Atlantic now and when she’s not worrying about you, I imagine she’s devising creative ways to display my head once she’s ripped it from my body.”
“No less than you deserve,” Robin murmured but with the anger of previous conversations. “The…I had a syringe…?”
“We found it.” Patrick smoothed her hair out of her face and garnered looks of genuine interest from the Scorpio men behind him. “And Elizabeth agreed to give it to Cameron. He’s recovering.”
She closed her eyes. “Thank God. I thought…” Her eyes flickered opened again. “Then how…?”
“Carly and Jason brought the antidote back from the Markham islands,” Robert supplied.
“Oops,” Luke said from the doorway. “I was supposed to tell you that Carly had nothing to do with it.”
Robin managed another weak laugh. “I owe my life to Carly. Yeah, that figures.” She shifted and looked back at Patrick. “What about the rest of the patients?”
“I…” Patrick coughed. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” Robin asked, confused. “Why?”
“Because Junior Drake hasn’t left this room,” Luke supplied cheerfully, slapping Patrick on the back. “That’s dedication. Why don’t Bubba, me and Daddy Dearest go find out about those patients for you?” He grabbed Robert’s elbow and yanked him towards the door.
“Wait a second, she just woke up–” Robert was snarling as Luke dragged him down the hall.
“Luke has all the subtlety of a freight train,” Mac sighed. He leaned over Robin and kissed her forehead. “If you ever scare me like that again, I might have to lock you in a room padded with cotton just so I can feel safe.” He eyed Patrick for a long moment before looking back at Robin. “Anna will be landing in an hour or so and Felicia’s coming right after her so I’d better head to the airport.”
“Yeah, start thinking of excuses for why you let Georgie get married,” Robin said wryly as her uncle left. She focused on Patrick. “You should probably get some sleep.”
Patrick exhaled slowly and shook his head. “You’re deranged. You nearly died and you’re telling me to get some sleep.” He looked down at their hands and seemed to be surprised that they were stilled joined.
“How’s Noah?” Robin asked softly.
“As a matter of fact, I was coming to tell you that he agreed to let me test to be a donor.” He looked away. “But then you were on the floor so it didn’t seem important anymore.” He cleared his throat. “But I’m glad you’re feeling better. I should probably check on him and the rest of my patients.”
“Patrick…” Robin hesitated and thought about that moment in the lab when they’d both been exhausted and something had passed between them that neither were ready for.
“You can’t possibly be this blind. Why do you think I don’t want any thing to happen to you?”
She almost brought it up but at the last moment, she decided that she wanted to see where this might go on their own terms–without the drama of an epidemic, his father’s illness and her father’s return from the dead.
“I think when I’m feeling better,” Robin said instead, “that you should let me take you out to dinner.”
Patrick grinned. “Will this one actually have an ending I’ll like?”
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
Elizabeth was leaning up against the wall, staring at nothing at all. Her son lay on his back in the small crib, howling. She’d exhausted tears long ago and was now praying for relief.
Patrick entered. “Robin was worried,” he remarked. He went to Cameron’s side and studied the toddler’s chart for a long moment before doing something with the IV line.
“What are you doing?” Elizabeth asked dully.
“Giving him a sedative so that he’ll sleep through the worst of it,” Patrick said. “The respirator has helped but his throat is inflamed and the screaming is only making it worse so this will be better for him.”
Elizabeth sat up straight and rubbed her eyes, smiling faintly as Cameron’s cries faded until he slipped into sleep. “Is Robin…is she any closer?”
“She’s been trying to isolate the virus but its slow going. There was something about studying Luke’s blood but I’ve been checking on patients so I wasn’t in that meeting.”
“Luke?” Elizabeth asked. “Is he sick too? I’m sorry–but I haven’t left this room since Cameron was admitted. I should have gone to isolation but…” she shrugged helplessly. “He’s my baby.”
Patrick nodded. “Well, apparently Luke brought the virus back from his vacation somehow and has been fighting it off so we’ll see. Children and the elderly will get whatever treatment we have first, okay?”
“I know…it’s just…” Elizabeth shook her head. “It’s just hard to listen to him crying and not be able to fix it.” She rubbed her hands together. “Robin–I wanted to check on her–I heard about her father and–is she okay?”
“She’s in the denial stage right now,” Patrick studied Cameron’s chart for another moment before frowning down at the small body. “I think she’s trying to avoid it while this crisis is going on. It seems to be going method of dealing.”
“There are only two good things about this entire situation,” Elizabeth said. “Lucky wasn’t around Luke or Cameron before we were quarantined and well…” she smirked. “Carly wasn’t in the hospital either. I already had to live across the hall from her once–being quarantined with her would be my own personal hell.”
Noah struggled from his bed and started for the door only to be waylaid by his son.
“Get back in there,” Patrick took his father’s elbow and steered him back. “You insisted on staying here to recover, then recover.”
“I’d be more help out there,” Noah argued but he didn’t have the energy to push past his son. “I can’t sit in here for days while chaos reigns out there.”
“Well, you’re going to have to,” Patrick helped him back into bed before pulling Noah’s chart from the foot of bed. “Your vitals were strong the last time Elizabeth checked you–”
“I heard about her son,” Noah cut in, “is he okay?”
“He’s not doing well,” Patrick sighed. He replaced the chart. “This strain is hard on the young, but most illnesses are. We form some sort of treatment, he’ll have a shot. Otherwise…” he shook his head. “I’m glad I don’t have kids and seeing Elizabeth Spencer upstairs in that room just makes me all that more certain that I don’t want them.”
“They’re a pain in the ass, but they’re generally worth it,” Noah said. “You’ll change your mind.”
“No, I won’t.” Patrick started for the door.
“You don’t have to have children to be vulnerable to loss, Patrick,” Noah called after him. His son turned, his hand on the door. “We both know that better than anyone.” Noah paused. “How’s Robin? Bobbie told me about her father.”
“She was dealing with it before this all began, now she’s avoiding it.” Patrick shrugged. “She’s stronger than she looks.” He looked away. “Get some sleep.”
When the door shut behind him, Noah leaned back against his pillows.
“How could I live with myself if my selfishness cost me my son?”
“And how will Patrick be able to live with himself when you die and he could have saved you?”
Mac found Patrick examining Lulu Spencer. He waited for the doctor to exit the room. “They told me at Admitting that you’re Cameron Webber’s doctor on record.”
“One of them,” Patrick started down the hall and Mac fell into step next to him. “How do you know him?”
“Elizabeth’s husband is one of my officers and they won’t let him in. He wanted an update straight from you, Elizabeth won’t give him any straight answers.” Mac stepped in front of Patrick. “He’s bad, isn’t he?”
Patrick sighed. “Yeah–along with Lulu Spencer, Dillon Quartermaine and Morgan Corinthos, all four of them are in the worse condition. They’re young and their bodies can’t find the disease as well. They don’t have enough antibodies. If we don’t come up with some sort of treatment…”
“Robin’s working on that, isn’t she?” Mac cast a long look down the hall where he knew the labs were located. “I wish she were anywhere but here.”
“She’s not working near the patients,” Patrick assured him. “She wanted to check on them but I convinced her not to.”
Mac frowned. “I didn’t realize you had that sort of influence over my niece. She’s as stubborn as the rest of the Scorpios.” Filing that information away for later, he shook his head. “If anyone can find a treatment, Robin can.”
Robin finished loading the syringe with liquid and exhaled slowly. “Well–it’s start.”
She tucked the syringe into her lab coat pocket and stood. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she was struck with a wave of vertigo. “No…” Robin shook her head resolutely. For the past hour, she’d felt warm and a little dizzy but she’d worked through it, determined to get this formula created and to one of the patients to test.
She’d come too far to fail now.
Robin took a deep breath and started for the door.
But you just smile and take my hand
You’ve been there you understand
It’s all part of a grander plan that is coming true
— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
Noah was surprised when Bobbie slipped into his room that evening. “I would have thought you were on duty.”
“I am,” she sighed, exhausted. She sat in the chair next to his bed. “But we’ve taken care of everything we can for now. Until the research staff makes some headway, there’s not much else we’ll be able to do.” She rubbed her eyes. “I’ve had a few people in my life come back from the dead, I’m not sure if you know that.”
“It does seem to be a trend in this town,” Noah agreed. “Who’s back this time?”
“I mean, we have an overabundance of people who ought to be six feet under,” Bobbie continued. “Laura came back twice, Carly came back at least once that I can think of, Roy came back, I believe Alan faked his own death at one time, Brenda, Anna came back and Stavros Cassadine–don’t even get me started on that but I felt sure that least Robert Scorpio was dead because he would never leave Robin to grow up without him.”
“But he was alive,” Noah stated.
“And he’s with the organization that’s quarantining the hospital, if you can believe that irony.” Bobbie rubbed her eyes. “And I thought January was the month from hell.”
“Yeah? What happened in January?”
“My son came out,” Bobbie replied. “He told me in the middle of an entire police station that he was gay.” She laughed ruefully. “As if giving me Carly as a child wasn’t enough.”
“Well, I’m sorry you feel that way, Robin,” Robert said, “but you will give me the chance to at least explain what happened.”
“The way you gave me a chance to grow up with my father?” Robin snorted and set a slide onto the stage of her microscope. “Maybe in fourteen years.”
“Robin, you owe me the opportunity–”
“I don’t owe you anything.” Robin slammed her pen down and got to her feet. “You disappear for most of my life and you show up, bark orders at me, treat me like I’m nothing to you and you suddenly decide that I owe you something? Well, I’m sorry, Dad, but we’ve both changed since you died.”
“I left to protect you,” Robert told her. “To protect you and your uncle. I didn’t know for sure that everyone had been killed in the explosion and if they thought I was dead, you would be safe.”
“And you stayed away because?” Robin demanded. “I notice you’re not so focused on protecting me and Uncle Mac that you’re staying away now.”
“Once Anna turned up and regained her memory and no attempted to harm her or you, I knew you would be safe. And by then, it was easier to let you believe I was dead. You had lived more time without me than you had with me.”
“Wow…” Robin shook her head. “I can’t believe that you are my father, I can’t believe that you are the same man that I knew when I was fifteen. I just–” She turned her back. “I have work to do now, so if you’d just leave me alone.”
“I don’t expect you to understand, Robin–”
“Well, good–because I don’t. I don’t get how you can let me believe that you were dead.” She whirled around. “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through since you’ve been gone? My boyfriend died of AIDS, Dad. And I tested positive for HIV.”
Robert exhaled slowly. “I know and it was hard not to come back I found that out but it was for the best, Robin, you must believe that–”
“Uncle Mac was shot, he got married, Dad and he got divorced-and he was burned in a fire. Did you know any of that? Did you even care to find out?”
“There isn’t much I don’t know about you, Robin,” Robert told her. “But it doesn’t change my mind about making the right decision–”
“No, I didn’t think it would because that’s something we still have in common–we’re stubborn.” Robin smiled bitterly. “And I’m pretty damn sure I would like you to leave. Now.”
The door to the lab slid open and Patrick stepped in. At seeing Robin with Robert, he stopped. “I’ll come back.”
“There’s no need, my father was just leaving.” Robin folded her arms. “I just have one more question, before you go. Does Mom know you’re alive? That her marriage to David was invalid because you are still alive?”
Robert sighed. “No, Anna does not know.”
Robin nodded. “I didn’t think so–she would have told me at least.” She flicked her gaze to Patrick. “Did you need something?”
“Ah…,” Unused to discomfort, Patrick shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I was just checking on Robin–her progress, I mean.”
“You can go, now, Dad. We have nothing else to talk about.”
Robert waited a moment but when he realized she wouldn’t relent, he left, brushing past Patrick.
“I haven’t made any progress,” Robin said immediately. “There’s just not enough information and the WHO is being stingy about turning anything over–”
“I’m not–if you’d made any, you would have said something. I saw your dad heading in this direction and I just–” Patrick shifted again, clearly out of his element. “I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“No, I’m not,” Robin muttered. She sat back on her stool and stared at her fingers. “He stayed away to protect me and when he knew I’d be safe, he’d decided that it was easier to let me believe he was dead. And my mother–” Robin closed her eyes. “Mom doesn’t even know he’s alive. Her marriage is invalid. I mean they’re divorced now but it’s the principle of the thing. You don’t let your wife believe you’re dead, you don’t let your child, your family, the people who love you–” her voice cracked and she put her heads in her hands. “I am so tired of this.”
Patrick approached her and hesitantly put a hand on her shoulder. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose a parent and then find out that they’ve been alive all along and never told you.”
“It’s like having your whole world ripped out from underneath you,” she murmured. “And he doesn’t even understand why. He’s so damn stubborn, so sure that he’s right.”
“Well, at least now I know where you get it from,” Patrick said. She looked up at him, incredulously. “Sorry–just trying to make you smile.”
“No, you’re right. My uncle Mac’s been saying it for years–I’m just as stubborn as my parents.” She sighed and rubbed her eyes. “Is there any changes in the patients? Do you know Cameron’s status?”
“Everyone’s admitted, we have one or two new cases and Cameron’s fever has leveled at 104.3 the last time I looked in on him. The elderly and the children are being monitored very closely, but no one’s made any improvements.”
“I should go check on them, get a first hand look–maybe there’s something I’m missing.”
Patrick tightened his hand on her shoulder to keep her from rising. “You’re not going anywhere near them.”
“Your son is gay?” Noah repeated. “And why was he in a police station?”
“Because he was beaten up,” Bobbie sighed. “He’s going to counseling to deal with it all and I’m just praying it’s a phase.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about this transplant of yours. Tony says you’ve refused treatment.”
“I’m not going to get a liver that ought to go someone else more deserving–I won’t do that, Bobbie and I’m sure as hell not going to let my son put his life in jeopardy to do so either.”
“Noah, don’t be ridiculous,” Bobbie chastised. “You know the success ratio of a surgery like this–there’s almost no risk to the donor, it’s usually to the person getting the organ, with rejection and all that but Patrick will be safe.”
“Things go wrong all the time in the OR,” Noah shook his head. “Surgeons make mistakes, they lose patients.” He looked towards the wall. “How could I live with myself if my selfishness cost me my son?”
“And how will Patrick be able to live with himself when you die and he could have saved you?” Bobbie demanded. “Oh, you men are all alike–you think you know everything and that you know what’s best. Well, you’re being plain out ridiculous, Noah Drake and I can’t believe you’re going to let your son have your death on his hands.”
Robin bristled. “Excuse me?”
“You’re tired, you haven’t eaten all day and your immune system already isn’t as strong as everyone else’s. There’s no way you’re going anywhere near those patients until you get some sleep and eat.”
“Who do you think you are? You’re not my doctor,” Robin retorted.
“But they are my patients and if you fall sick with this flu, then where will be?” Patrick demanded. “You’re too susceptible to this virus, Robin and I’m not taking the chance that’ll you get sick.”
“Why do you care?” Robin snapped. “If I get sick, they’ll just get another researcher, I’m not irreplaceable–”
“You can’t possibly be this blind,” Patrick all but snarled. He spun her seat around and gripped her shoulders. “Why do you think I don’t want any thing to happen to you?”
A sarcastic comment was on the tip of her tongue but Robin bit it back when she met his eyes and saw something that would go unsaid because it, quite frankly, terrified them both. “Oh.” She bit her lip. “Okay, well–I–I should probably take a break, get something to eat–a nap.”
Patrick released her. “You do that, I’ll go do another round on the patients and check in on Cameron.”
I think about the years I spent just passing through
I’d like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
Mac was sitting in his office, studying statements from the Ruiz case when there was a hesitant knock on his door. Robin stood in the open doorway. “Uncle Mac?”
Mac leapt to his feet, alarmed at his niece’s pallor. “Robin, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”
She entered the office and closed the door behind her. “Uncle Mac, something happened at the hospital this morning…” Her knees felt like jelly again and she lowered herself into a chair. “I saw…” she swallowed hard. “I saw…I saw Dad.”
Mac sat down with a thud. “Robin–that’s just not–it’s not possible.”
“That’s–I thought that too but I saw him, and we spoke–” Robin’s voice thickened and she gripped the strap of her purse. “He asked to see the chief of staff and he was talking to me like we didn’t even–like he wasn’t my father.” Her lips trembled. “He said it was good to see me but he wished I hadn’t been at the nurse’s station. And I told him where Alan was and he just…”
“Robin, you understand that you’re telling me that Robert–my brother–is still alive.” Mac gripped his pencil. “Are you sure?”
“I wouldn’t–” she shook her head. “I wouldn’t lie about this. And if I had dreamed my father came back…it certainly wouldn’t be like this–” Her voice cracked. “He was so cold, Uncle Mac. I don’t understand–it’s not like with Mom where she had amnesia and really didn’t remember me. He knew who I was and–he didn’t care.” Robin clutched at the arm rests of her chair. “I don’t know what’s supposed to happen next or–”
Her beeper went off and Robin closed her eyes. “I have–that’s the hospital–he was at the hospital to meet with Alan. Can you–” She rose to her feet. “I don’t know, Uncle Mac. I need you to…I just need you.”
Mac stood and rounded the desk to pull Robin into a hard hug. “I’ll go right now and see if I can find him. I’ll get to the bottom of this, Robin, I promise you.”
Lucky Spencer rushed to the door. “Mac–I gotta go to the hospital. My dad and my sister were just rushed in and Elizabeth just called–Cam’s sick–”
“That must be why I’m getting beeped.” Robin cleared her throat and wiped at her eyes. “I’ll be at the hospital when you get done that…thing…”
Patrick had been in the middle of discussing treatment options with Tony when he himself had been beeped to go the ER. When he arrived, the place was in bedlam–there were patients every where. Kids screaming, babies crying, people crowded into a very small waiting room.
“Jesus Christ,” he swore. “What happened?”
Robin burst through the ER doors, shrugging into her white coat. “It’s some kind of flu,” she said, breathless as she approached him. “Some really weird strain.” She scanned the crowd and was dismayed at the familiar faces–Alexis was coughing while her husband looked on–Lulu was doubled over, Dillon was patting her back as Robin’s cousin Georgie stood by them. And weirder–Tracy was barking orders at the passing doctors to demand they look at her husband.
When Robin spotted a terrified Elizabeth cradling a hysterical Cameron, she abandoned all other thoughts and rushed over. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I d-don’t…know,” Elizabeth said brokenly. “He w-was s-sleeping and I w-went in to c-check on him and he was b-burning up–” her stricken eyes met Robin’s. “You have to help him.”
“Okay,” Robin murmured. She put an arm around her friend’s shoulders and led her towards the elevators. “We’re going to draw some blood, put him on a respirator–”
“What?” Elizabeth asked, panicked. “Why?”
“Because he needs help breathing right now. He’s too young to have struggle like this.” Robin pushed the button. “We have to take him to pediatrics–there are good doctors up there, Elizabeth, who will know exactly what to do.”
“You w-won’t be there?” Elizabeth asked, shaken. “Where are you going?”
“I’ll be needed in the lab–to examine the blood, to find out what strain this is so that we can treat everyone. ” She gripped Elizabeth’s shoulders. “It’s going to be okay.”
The elevator doors slid open and Robin nudged Elizabeth in. She pressed the floor for pediatrics and stepped back. “I’ll be up to check on you in a little while, okay?”
When the doors slid shut, Robin took a deep breath and threw herself into the work and putting all other events out of her mind.
Mac found his quarry standing with a shaken Alan Quartermaine outside the chief of staff office.
“This is all so confusing, I don’t understand–” Alan was saying as Mac stepped up to them. “You’re supposed to be dead and you’re quarantining the hospital?”
“I wish there were time to explain everything but we have to act fast,” Robert said. He heard the footsteps behind and turned to face his brother. “Mac.”
“She was telling the truth,” Mac murmured. “I had to see–” His voice shook and he looked away. It took him a long moment before he focused. “I want to know what’s going on right now.”
“There’s a strain of flu that I’ve been chasing and it was brought to Port Charles–there are people already showing the symptoms. I was explaining–”
“I don’t care about any of that right now,” Mac slashed a hand through the air. “I’m talking about you being dead and gone for fourteen years and showing up to treat your daughter like a stranger.”
“I can’t–” Robert shifted uncomfortable. “I won’t talk about that right now. When the hospital is quarantined and we’ve got a handle on the situation, we can–I’ll talk to her–” he broke off. “She looked good. I–I’m grateful to you–but–” he shook his head. “It’s not the time right now–there are people’s lives at stake.”
“Fine,” Mac all but snarled. “Do you need anything to quarantine the hospital?” he asked Alan. “Any men?”
“No, but we’ll be transporting as many patients as possible to Mercy so that we can concentrate on the flu victims. Some police escorts would be helpful.”
“I’ll call some men.” Mac sent another scathing glare at his brother before storming away.
“Coming back from the dead,” Alan sighed, “It’s never easy.”
“Here are more test results,” Patrick said, setting a stack of folders next to Robin’s work space. “Fifteen total patients so far.”
Robin exhaled slowly. “It’s incredible–I don’t ever remember something like spreading so fast and becoming so dangerous. This a strain like I’ve never seen before.” She made some notes. “Is there, ah, any word on the quarantine? Has it gone into effect?”
“The last non critical patient was transferred to Mercy ten minutes ago. Everyone has been admitted and is receiving what treatment isavailable. Your father–” Patrick coughed. “He’s from the World Health Organization and apparently, it’s a tropical flu that he’s been chasing for years with no real cure.”
Robin rubbed her eyes. “I haven’t seen him since this morning but my uncle Mac said he wasn’t very forthcoming with the explanations.” She reached for some of the results that he’d brought. “I didn’t even–did they move Noah?”
“They tried but he refused to go. He said as soon as his incision was healed, he wanted to be able to help here.” Patrick sat on the stool adjacent to the desk. “He won’t have a transplant.”
Robin’s pen fumbled and she looked at him. “What?”
“He doesn’t want a transplant.” Patrick reached for a nearby pencil and twirled between his fingers. “He says that he’s wrecked his life, he’s not going to put mine in jeopardy.”
“But there’s a high ratio of success–especially between family donors.” She shook her head. “He’s a surgeon, he must know the statistics.”
“Yeah, well…” Patrick snapped the pencil in two and cleared his throat. “You remember what I said earlier about things not possibly getting worse?”
“Yeah, even the great Dr. Drake makes mistakes,” but Robin softened the statement by giving him a weak smile. “You should get back out on the floor.”
He stood. “I’ll stop by later to see how–how the research is going.”
Robin watched him go and sighed heavily. And she’d thought the day had started badly.
A long time later, as she struggled with exhaustion, the door opened again and Robin glanced up, expecting to see Patrick or even Elizabeth. Instead, her father stood here.
“The situation is under control for the moment,” Robert remarked. “I thought we might talk.”
Robin set her pen aside. “What’s there to talk about? Did you have amnesia like Mom and couldn’t remember your life?”
“No.”
“So you’ve been alive all this time, you knew who you were and that we thought you were dead and you still didn’t contact us.”
“Well, yes,” Robert stated.
Robin picked her pen back up and continued making notes. “Then I don’t see what we have to discuss.”
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
“The biopsy went as expected,” Tony told Patrick as Noah was wheeled back into his room. “We’re sending the tests down to the lab and we should have the results back in a few hours.”
“How long will he be asleep?” Patrick asked. “I didn’t realize you sedated the patients during a routine biopsy.”
“We didn’t at first, we used a local but he was complaining about pain so we used general. It should only last about an hour.” Tony checked the chart. “Normally, this is an out patient procedure but since he’s already checked in, there’s no point in sending him home.”
“From performing the biopsy…” Patrick hesitated. “Is there anything you can tell me?”
“We used a different type of procedure, we never even opened him up so we really can’t make any determination before the results come in.” Tony cleared his throat. “Robin mentioned that you were interested in being tested for a living donor transplant.”
“I didn’t realize Robin was still working on my father’s case–I thought she turned it over to you.”
“Well, she’s primarily a researcher, Patrick. If we weren’t so short handed, she wouldn’t be working the ER at all. But no, she’s not on the case anymore. It had to be handed over to a surgeon.” Tony put a hand on Patrick’s shoulder. “Just relax, there’s no point in getting involved in possible treatment options until we diagnosis. It’s a complicated and invasive procedure.”
Patrick exhaled slowly. “Yeah, that’s what Robin said too.”
Robin pushed some charts aside until she found the one she was looking for. While making notations, she heard a set of footsteps stop in front of the nurse’s station and not move on again.
“Can I–” Her words trailed off as she looked up and swallowed hard.
She used to have a picture that she took everywhere, always tucked it in her wallet, in her purse–in her shoe if there were nowhere else to keep it. Her father and her mother, before the boating explosion.
When she found her mother a few years ago, she’d exchanged the picture for one of her father solo. She said a prayer every night for him and had always felt a little better knowing that he was looking down on her.
Apparently, he was a little closer than the heavens.
Robert Scorpio was fourteen years older, but the shape of his eyes, the line of his nose–his hands–they would always be the same.
Robin set her pen down. “Daddy?” she whispered.
Robert cleared his throat. “I need to speak with the chief of staff–but I’m not sure who that it is.” He shifted. “It’s good to see you, Robin.”
“It’s good to see you,” Robin repeated numbly. Words you’d say if you hadn’t spoken in a few years but… “I don’t–I don’t understand.”
“I need to speak to the chief of staff, Robin,” Robert said again. “Can you tell me who it is?”
“That’s all you can say?” Robin said, regaining some slight composure. “It’s good to see you–where’s the chief of staff? You haven’t been out of town for a few weeks, Dad, you’ve been–” She clasped a hand over her mouth and stepped back. “You’ve been dead,” she whispered harshly. “Don’t you have anything to say to me?”
Robert shook his head. “I can’t–we can’t get into this right now, Robin. I wish there had been anyone else at this desk at this moment. I need to–”
“His office is where it’s always been,” Robin interrupted coldly. “And Alan Quartermaine is the chief now.”
“I–I’ll get in touch with you later,” Robert said after a long moment. He reached out and touched her cheek before abruptly letting his hand fall to his side. He stepped away and disappeared down a hallway. Robin stared after him and brought her hand to her cheek.
“Robin?”
A voice penetrated through the thick fog surrounding her throats. She cleared her throat and focused on Patrick. “What–what do you want?”
She was so pale, he thought. Her lips and her cheeks were drained of color and she was holding her cheek like she’d been slapped. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Did–was someone giving you a hard time?”
“No–I ah–” Robin shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. “My–he was–it’s not important.” She dragged a hand through her hair. “What did you need, Patrick?”
“My–my dad’s results are in and I wanted to–” Patrick touched her shoulder. “Seriously, Robin–what’s wrong? I’ve never seen you look so…” Unfocused, shaken, he wanted to say. Her eyes were flat, empty. “I know we don’t get along on the best of days, but–”
“I can suddenly understand how your father can do something that makes you want to hit him,” Robin murmured. “How he can throw something away and not understand why it’s so wrong…” She gripped the counter. Suddenly her knees felt weak. “I need to sit down.”
“Okay, okay–” Patrick took her arm and put an arm around her waist to keep her standing as he led her over to the couch. She didn’t put up a fight and that alone gave him some insight–something had rocked her world. “Here we are.” He lowered her to the couch and sat on the table in front of her. “Do you need some water?”
“No…I’ll be okay in a minute.” Robin fisted her hands in the fabric of her dark cotton pants. “I just–I need a second.”
“Did you have a fight with your uncle?” Patrick asked. “Was he just here?”
“My uncle?” Robin repeated, confused. “What do you mean?”
“Well you said he raised you when your parents died and when you said your father–” Abruptly Patrick closed his mouth as something absurd occurred to him. “Your father is dead, isn’t he?”
“Not anymore,” Robin whispered. “I was just–I was standing there and he came up to me–he spoke to me like he didn’t even know me,” she said, horrified. “And then he said–he said, it’s good to see you, Robin.” Her bewildered eyes found his. “Like we were old friends that hadn’t seen each for a while. And when I asked—he just wanted to see Alan and he said he wished it had been anyone else at the desk–” She covered her mouth and bowed her head. “I don’t understand–he’s supposed to be–I don’t understand what’s happening.”
Wondering if maybe she’d been hallucinating because it was his experience that people didn’t usually come back from the dead, Patrick switched positions to sit next to her on the couch. He was sure he was the last person she wanted to see right now but whether she liked it or not, he was the only person available. He put his arm around her shoulders and hesitantly drew to his side.
She surprised him by collapsing and curling into his embrace and when he felt the warmth of her tears on his shirt, he understood something for the first time. He understood what his father might have seen in his mother that would make him even remotely consider being a one woman man.
“It’s okay,” Patrick murmured, instinctively brushing his lips over her dark hair. “Well–okay, it’s not but it will be.”
“You can’t know that,” Robin whispered. She raised her head and met his eyes. “You can’t promise that.”
“Sure I can,” he said, giving a half smile. “If there’s anything I do know, it’s that nothing can possibly get any worse than your father coming back from the dead and my father being given a death sentence, right?”
Robin inhaled sharply and drew away. He let her go reluctantly and watched her wipe frantically at her eyes. “Noah’s results came in?”
“Yeah–it’s end-stage cirrhosis, like Tony thought it would be. It’s not–there’s nothing I can do about it right now, Robin. Let me–” he reached for her but she shook her head.
“I have–I have to go find my uncle Mac. And–” She closed her and bit down hard on her bottom lip. “I’m so sorry about your father, Patrick. I really am.” Robin stood and looked around, somewhat confused as if suddenly realizing that she wasn’t at the nurse’s station anymore. “Thank you…for…” she suddenly felt embarrassed. “I wish I hadn’t fallen apart like that but thank you for…being kind.”
“I care about you, Robin,” Patrick stood and she stepped back a little. “I’m not sure who that surprises more–me or you. But I do and I want to be here for you–the same way you’ve been there for me since we admitted my dad last night.”
“I can’t–” She couldn’t breathe. Wasn’t there a limit on how much a person could take in one day? “I don’t–”
“It’s okay,” Patrick nodded. “Go see your uncle. He’ll know the right words to say and what to do next.”
“Okay.” Robin took a deep breath and attempted to get a grip on her swirling thoughts. “I’ll be back though–for–for you and Noah, okay?” She rushed away before he could answer and he watched her go, wishing he’d never met her.
He’d never wanted to meet someone his mother would have approved of.
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
Robin poured herself a cup of steaming coffee and carried the mug to the break room table. She had a stack of charts that need notations and some paperwork on some patients that needed to be filled out and she thought the mindless work would put the evening out of her mind.
It wasn’t working yet, but she had high hopes.
She was in the middle of Sarah Winter’s release forms when the break room door swung open and Tony Jones entered. “Tony,” Robin smiled. She sat up and capped her pen. “Have you examined Noah Drake yet?”
Tony sighed and sat across from her. “In addition to the blacking out, he mentioned he’s been unusually tired lately. With his history of drinking…and his hands…” Tony held out his own palm, “His palms are red.”
Robin blinked and sat back. “Red palms. You think it’s…”
“It’s one of the common symptoms,” Tony agreed. “But the only way to be sure is to schedule a biopsy. Noah okayed it, but he’s a doctor–he knows what the possibilities are.”
Robin exhaled slowly. “Have you told his son yet?”
“No,” Tony slid the chart over to her. “I thought you might be able to break the news better–you two are friends and it might come better from someone he knows.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to refuse but Robin was a better person–a better doctor than that. She sighed. “If it is what we think it is, what do you think his chances are?”
Tony shook his head. “Until we do the biopsy, I can’t be sure but it wouldn’t surprise me if we were looking at end-stage. And then his best option is a transplant. Patrick’s a doctor, Robin, he’ll be able to connect the dots so it’ll be better if you just tell him straight out that we don’t know for sure and won’t until we do the biopsy tomorrow.”
Robin set her charts and paperwork aside. “I’ll go track him down. Might as well get it over with.”
She found him in the hospital cafeteria, sipping a can of soda. He himself was going over paperwork and for a moment, she considered telling Tony that she’d changed her mind and foist this on him.
But she squared her shoulders and crossed to his table. “Do you have a minute?”
Patrick glanced up and tossed his pen aside. “Robin. I didn’t know you were still at the hospital.” He started to stand but she gestured for him stay seated and then took the seat across from him. “Listen, about Carly–”
“I don’t want to talk about that,” Robin said immediately. “Not tonight, not tomorrow or ever. This isn’t about her.” Her eyes softened. “It’s about Noah.”
Patrick tensed. “Did his tests come back? What’s wrong?”
Robin bit her lip. “Tony’s scheduled a liver biopsy tomorrow to confirm his diagnosis but he thinks it’s cirrhosis.” She clasped her hands in her lap. “And from Noah’s symptoms and the more extensive blood work results, it might be end-stage.”
Patrick’s eyes darkened. “End stage liver disease.” He shook his head. “It shouldn’t surprise me. He finally gets sober and he’ll probably die waiting for a transplant.” He bowed his head for a moment and Robin wished she could say something to comfort him but could neither find the words nor the courage.
“It’s not final–Tony could be wrong,” she found herself saying instead. “It could be a lot of things–”
“Don’t placate me, Robin.” Patrick raised his eyes to meet hers and the look in them had sharpened–had focused. “There’s been a lot of success with partial transplants–with a living donor.”
“Yes,” Robin said hesitantly. She set her hands on the table and leaned in slightly. “But you shouldn’t think about that until we know for sure. It could the beginning stages–you know that can be treated with medication, staying sober. It doesn’t ever have to progress– ”
“But that’s the best case scenario.” Patrick sat back. “How soon can I be tested, to know if I could be a match?”
“Any time, I guess but–”
“Then let’s do it.” Patrick stood and gathered his paperwork.
“Patrick–it’s more complicated than that. It’s complicated procedure and the evaluation to be considered is extensive.” Robin stood as well. “It would be better to wait. You’ll have the results tomorrow. There are also doctors that have be called in and Noah might not even be a candidate for living donor transplant–” Against her better judgment, she put her hand on his forearm. “It’s better to have all the answers first.”
“It’s so easy for you,” Patrick said, the words ripping out impatiently. “It’s not your father who might be dying is it?”
Her lips parted in surprise at the unexpected attack and she let her hand drop to her side. “No, it’s not.” She dropped her lashes quickly to hide the hurt. “Tony can put you in touch with the necessary doctors.”
“Wait…” Patrick caught her arm as she turned to leave. “I’m sorry–you didn’t deserve that.” He spread his hands regretfully and shrugged. “I’m sorry for a lot of things.”
Sensing the direction of the conversation, Robin bit her lip so hard, she drew blood. “I told you I didn’t want to talk about that–”
“I know that you and Carly have a history–”
“I said,” Robin spat contemptuously, “I don’t want to talk about that. Not with you, not with anyone. You made your decision and I don’t care anymore. We’re not dating, we’re not even friends so you don’t have to explain or apologize.” Without waiting for his reaction, she turned and headed towards the exit, consciously making herself slow down. She didn’t want him to think she was running from him.
She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of thinking she gave damn.
Bobbie knocked lightly on Noah’s hospital door before pushing it open to see her ex stretched out across a hospital bed staring blankly at the wall. “I hope you don’t mind some company,” she murmured.
Noah turned his head towards her and managed a faint, if bitter, smile. “Not if it’s a beautiful redhead.” He fumbled for the bed remote and raised the head a little. “I feel a little stupid being in here–it was just a fall.”
Bobbie took a seat at the side of his bed. “Elizabeth mentioned it might be a bit more serious than that.” She reached for his hand. “I still think you of as a friend, Noah, no matter how things ended all those years ago.”
“Well, considering our history, that’s kind of you.” Noah hesitated. “It’s cirrhosis, or so they think. They’re doing the biopsy tomorrow to be sure.”
“Oh, Noah,” Bobbie murmured. “I’m so sorry. If there’s anything I can do…”
“Unless you’ve got an extra liver lying around…” Noah trailed off and shrugged. “I don’t want to talk about that. Let’s talk about you. What have you been doing all these years?”
Bobbie laughed, covering her worry as well as she could. “That would take too long so I should sum up. Your doctor is my ex-husband–one of them anyway.” She smiled ruefully. “I was married about four times in the last twenty years, none of which were successful naturally.” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “And that’s not counting the times I’ve been engaged. But I have two wonderful children and that makes up for all the disappointments.”
“Never pictured you as the maternal type.” Noah sat up a little more. “Boy? Girl?”
“One of each. Lucas is eighteen and he just started and college and Carly…is a roller coaster.”
Noah frowned. “Carly? As in…Carly Corinthos? That’s your daughter?”
“You know her?” Bobbie asked, surprised. “Did you meet her when Jason was having his surgery?”
“Yeah and my son knows her too.” Noah grimaced. “Apparently, your daughter is throwing some kinks into his…current project.”
“Yeah,” Bobbie sighed, resigned. “That sounds like Carly.”
Elizabeth tugged on a sweater and folded her scrubs into a neat pile to put into her oversize bag so she could take them home and launder them. “You finally heading home?”
Robin nodded and pulled her jacket out of her locker. “I have to be back at seven for my shift so that gives me…” she glanced at her watch, “about eight hours of sleep for once.”
“I’m not due back in until noon so I’m going to get some quality time in with Cameron.” Elizabeth sighed and buttoned her black pea coat up. “Lucky has to work though, I feel like I never see him anymore.”
“Welcome to the wonderful world of medicine,” Robin muttered. “Liz…” she glanced at her friend. “You wouldn’t have had any words with Dr. Drake about Carly, would you?”
Elizabeth flushed, somewhat guilty. “Well–he asked for it. I only told him the truth–that she’s a natural disaster and has a long list of victims in her path and there might have been something about her being trash in nice clothing but I didn’t get into specifics–oh, except for the part about her driving AJ to his death and destroying a few lives, but really–no details.”
“Well, I’m glad you left out the play by play. You don’t have to trash Carly for me,” Robin reached for her purse.
“Oh, I know, but it’s so much fun,” Elizabeth smirked. “Did you tell him about Noah?”
“Yes, and it was spectacularly bad,” Robin muttered. “That’ll teach me to be the better person and try to be compassionate. He snapped at me and then he tried to apologize and explain the Carly thing–like I really need to be told that there’s no commitment and he’ll date all the trashy blondes he wants.” She huffed. “What is it about her?”
“What is it about blondes in general, I wonder?” Elizabeth leaned against her locker. “I’ve been tossed over by two different men for two different blondes in the span of six months. You begin to wonder–is it me or my taste in men?” She shrugged. “Look, he’s not worth the effort and she’ll be back to running Sonny’s life in a few weeks or so, there’s not much point in muttering over it.” Her eyes lit up. “Hey, Nikolas is just getting out of his relationship with Courtney–you guys used to be real close–”
“I do not have the energy for that right now,” Robin laughed. “And I think Nikolas has enough on his plate what with his ex-wife and his girlfriend. But I appreciate the thought. I am just…so over the whole men, dating and relationship phase of my life.”
“You know…when you decide you’re done with the whole idea of love and happily ever after,” Elizabeth remarked, “that’s usually when it bites you in the ass.”
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you
— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
Patrick shrugged off the strange conversations with Elizabeth and Robin and looked at his father. “So you fell.”
Noah cleared his throat and smiled at the intern who was finishing his sutures. “Yeah. I was in my room at the Metro Court and I blacked out.”
Patrick frowned, shoved his hands in his pockets. “But you weren’t drinking.”
“No, I told you that was all behind me.”
The intern finished Noah’s sutures and gave him some brief instructions before leaving the room. Noah reached for his coat but Patrick put his hand out to block it. “Why’d you black out if you weren’t drinking?”
“I don’t know.” Noah jerked a shoulder. “Low blood sugar, not eating. There are always reasons. Don’t worry about it. I’ll take a cab back to the hotel–”
“You’re not leaving here until we know what happened. So sit down.” Patrick waited until his father obeyed before going to speak to Noah’s doctor.
“You didn’t run anything more than a basic blood test,” Patrick all but snarled as he tossed the test in question at Robin.
She blinked and reached for it. “He fell. I didn’t even need to run that but I thought you’d–” Robin pressed her lips together. “I’m not required to run anything more than that. Noah said he fell, we stitched him up. I don’t know what you’re getting at.”
“He said he blacked out and as soon as you knew it wasn’t alcohol related, you should have–”
“Wait just one second–he never said anything like that to me.” She looked at Elizabeth who was studiously ignoring the both of them as she made some notations in a chart. “Did he tell you that?”
“No.” Elizabeth fiddled with the cap on her pen. “But if he did, he’s going to need to be admitted for tests.” Her eyes darted back and forth between the two doctors. “I’ll…just…get started on that.” She picked up Noah’s chart and all but fled from the nurse’s station.
“We’ll get him admitted and get some tests run.” Robin sighed and decided it was better to be a doctor than to be a woman scorned. “I’m sorry but he never said anything like that. When he said he fell, I just thought it might be related to…and I thought if I ran the blood test, at least you’d know for sure.”
Patrick rubbed the back of his neck. “Well. Thanks. ” He leaned forward. “What was that about earlier? You seemed…off.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Robin said innocently.
“Don’t be stupid, Scorpio. It doesn’t look good on you. I mean about the deep freeze.” He crossed his arms on the counter and leaned closer. “I thought we had a good time last night.”
“We did and we agreed that would be the end of it. You’d stop…this…” Robin gestured with hands. “This whatever and we’d get on with our lives. I’d go back to…whatever and you’d get on with your next conquest.”
“We didn’t agree on anything. You stated that before the evening got started and I was under the impression that we had a good time after that.”
“What exactly did you think would happen, Patrick?” Robin asked coolly. “You stop acting like an arrogant jerk for five minutes and…what? I’d fall into your arms?” She snorted.
Patrick frowned. “I’m not following you. I thought you’d at least be open to the suggestion of another date.”
Robin hesitated. But before she could even begin to think about it, the elevators doors beeped, slid open and Carly stepped out. “Patrick,” she smiled. “You left the restaurant so quickly that I thought I’d make sure nothing was wrong.”
And just like that, Robin remembered. She shook her head. “For once, Carly, you showed up just in time.”
Carly pursed her lips. “Don’t tell me you abandoned me for Princess over here.” She tossed her back and for a moment, Robin wanted to rip it out. “She’s not worth your time.”
“Carly, this isn’t a good time,” Patrick began.
“No, it’s perfect actually. Just perfect.” Robin picked up stack of charts. “I’ll get started on those tests and as for the other thing, you can go to hell.” She stalked away.
Carly shook her head. “I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with her.” She leaned in toward him and didn’t notice the way he slightly leaned away. “She can’t give you what I can.”
Patrick stepped back. “I think you’d better tell me exactly why you and Robin don’t get along.”
“I don’t know why we’re going to all this trouble,” Noah sighed as Elizabeth started to hook up some monitors. She reached for the IV kit. “Do I have to have one of those?”
“For a doctor, you’re really a bit whinier than I would have expected,” but Elizabeth was smiling as she said it. “At any rate, it was your son that convinced Robin that you need some further testing. If I were you, I’d take it as a good sign and go along with it.”
“Yeah, I guess it is a good sign but I don’t know why he’s bothering. We haven’t gotten along in years,” Noah sighed. He grimaced when Elizabeth slid the needle into his skin. “I hate these things.”
“I haven’t seen my parents in almost ten years,” Elizabeth murmured. “They show almost no interest in me or my son and didn’t even reply to the invitation to my wedding.” She met Noah’s eyes. “But I’d like to think that if anything happened to one of them, I’d step up to the plate. He’s reaching out to you, Dr. Drake, in the only way he knows how.”
“And getting some torture in while he’s at it,” Noah muttered as he held up his arm with the plastic tubing hanging off it. “So, tell me. What has my son done that’s got your back up?”
“He’s an idiot,” Elizabeth replied. She made some marks on his chart. “He finally got Robin to go out with him and then she sees him with Carly the next day. I’m just saying–it doesn’t show a lot of character on his part but maybe that’s okay with him. Maybe it really was all about the challenge. But if that’s true, he should have left her alone.” Elizabeth closed his chart. “Because she’s got enough to deal with without being tossed over for a blonde again. I know how she feels.”
“Again.” Noah leaned back against his pillow. “Robin’s got history with this Carly, then.”
“The same kind of history we have with the Indians,” Elizabeth said sourly. “Carly destroyed her life, Jason’s life, Michael’s life…and somehow managed to walk away with everything she ever wanted. And all Robin got was a kick in the ass as she left town. I can’t imagine why it would upset her that Patrick pursued her and then went after Carly.” She shook her head. “Dr. Jones is the attending on call. He’ll be in to talk about what tests you’ll need.”
Carly snorted. “Robin doesn’t like me because she’s knows I’m better than her.” She shrugged. “Jason chose me over the pasty princess and she decided to get back at the both of us by ruining our lives and my son’s life. She’s a vindictive bitter bitch who’ll get what’s coming to her one day–”
“Oh, giving Patrick your life story?” Elizabeth asked, stepping into the nurse’s station. “Noah’s set up and Tony Jones will be his primary doctor if you want to talk to him.”
“Oh, if it isn’t the other damsel in distress. It doesn’t surprise me that you back Robin up.” Carly stepped towards her old nemesis. “You’re both little weaklings that couldn’t survive in my life–”
“No, we’re just women who didn’t exactly appreciate the grip you have on Jason’s…” Elizabeth coughed delicately, “…life.” She looked at Patrick. “If you deal with Carly, then you deserve what you get.”
“I am out of here. There is just too many of you little angels running around. It’s making me nauseous.” Carly stormed towards the elevators and jammed at the buttons.
Patrick looked to Elizabeth. “So you’re another of Jason’s women, then?”
“And someone else that Carly drove out of his life.” Elizabeth’s smile was bitter. “Don’t believe a word she says because she always makes herself out to be better. She came to this town to destroy her mother and along the way, she drove AJ Quartermaine to his death, Tony Jones to a breakdown, destroyed Robin and Jason and nearly destroyed her son and that’s only some of the casualties Hurricane Carly has left behind. She’s nothing more than trash in classy clothing.” She jerked a shoulder. “Noah’s in Room 226.”
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
— Bless the Broken Road, Rascal Flatts
Robin pushed open the door to the Metro Court restaurant and scanned the dining patrons. Patrick’s answering service had directed her here and she wanted to be the one to tell him that Noah had been brought in General Hospital after taking a bad fall. She didn’t think he would want to hear it on the hospital grapevine that his father may have been drinking.
“Have you seen Dr. Patrick Drake?” she asked a passing waiter.
“He’s on the terrace with Mrs. Corinthos.” The waiter gestured to the French doors a few feet away. He then proceeded on with his tray to a table but Robin had already forgotten about him. She had a clear view of the two through the clear glass and could see them standing close. Too close.
It shouldn’t have surprised her–she had told him that their date was it and the next day, he would move on to his next conquest. But that had been before. And she’d never dreamed he’d move on to Carly.
But that shouldn’t have surprised her either.
Robin squared her shoulders and stepped over the bar. “Do you have paper I can use to write a note?” she asked the bartender.
The bartender reached under the counter and pulled out a Metro Court Hotel pad. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” Robin took a pen from her purse and jotted down a few words. “When Mrs. Corinthos comes back in from the terrace, can you give this to the man with her? He’s a doctor and it’s important that he gets this message.”
“Sure thing.”
“Thanks.” Robin put the pen back in her purse and walked back to the lobby–without looking to the terrace again.
“I should get back to the hospital,” Patrick remarked as he led Carly back into the restaurant. “My shift starts soon.”
“Well….” Carly tossed back her hair and smiled brightly at him. “We’ll have to do this again sometime.”
“Dr. Drake?” the bartender called. “Someone left a message for you.” She held up the folded note.
“I hope it’s nothing bad,” Carly called as Patrick crossed the room and took the paper from the bartender.
He slid it open and frowned over the words. “I have to go.” He grabbed his coat from the table and left the room without another word to Carly.
“Dr. Drake’s blood tests came back,” Elizabeth said, handing the results to Robin. “Good news–he’s clear.”
Robin exhaled slowly. “Good, good. So we’ll just stitch him up and send him home.” She shuffled some charts and tried to look busy.
“Are you okay?” Elizabeth asked. “You’ve been acting oddly since you got back from your break. Did something happen?”
“Nothing that should shock or upset me if I were thinking clearly,” Robin muttered. She closed a chart and looked at Elizabeth. “Do I have gullible stamped on my forehead?”
“Not the last time I checked–what happened?” Elizabeth touched her arm. Her face sobered. “Is this about, ah…you know who?”
“I should have known better, that’s all. I knew it about the challenge, about the fact that I kept refusing him–I should have known, that’s all.” She slammed a chart down with a loud thud. “I went to the Metro Court to tell him about Noah, I thought–” she huffed. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“Yeah, I’ve been there before. Seeing things you don’t want to see and thinking the worst about them.” Elizabeth leaned against the counter. “So, Patrick was on a date?”
“I don’t know about a date but–” Robin shook her head. “It’s stupid and it’s been years and I shouldn’t let it get to me but he was with Carly and I just remembered when Jason…” She dragged her hands through her hair. “I’m not going to do this anymore, I’m just not.”
“Hey, hey–look, if it’s any consolation, Carly’s never gonna concentrate on anyone other than Sonny or Jason for more than five minutes at a time. If she is looking at Patrick, she’s got an angle, okay?”
“Yeah, I know that–it’s just…” Robin looked at her. “It’s Carly. That’s all. Jason slept with her and he let her destroy our relationship because he loved her son. She’s like a hurricane–she destroys anything and everyone in her path and I’m not going to give her that power again. I refuse. With Jason, it was different. I loved him, we’d had a history. But this time–” She squared her shoulders. “As far as I’m concerned, Patrick Drake is persona non grata.”
As if on cue, the elevators slid open and Patrick ambled out of them. “You left a message, Dr. Scorpio?” he asked, leaning against the counter.
“Your father fell down a flight of stairs and bumped his head. He’s being stitched up and needs a ride home,” Robin said flatly. “You’re his next of kin.”
Patrick grimaced and looked away. “I knew he wouldn’t make it–how much alcohol did he have?” he asked, almost resigned.
“None. His blood work was clear. He’s in curtain three. Liz, can you take him there?” Robin grabbed some folders and stalked away.
“Well, she’s in a mood,” Patrick remarked as a stony Elizabeth led the way to the examination area.
“Why, because she’s not falling all over herself because of your charm and good looks?” Elizabeth asked dryly. She drew open the curtain to reveal an intern putting sutures in Noah Drake’s forehead. “Next time, remember that no means no and not everyone is just dying to get to know you.”
She walked away and muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like jerk.
Patrick frowned after her before turning his attention to his father who had a weak smile. “What’re you smiling about?” he asked darkly.
“Women. Sooner or later, the charm backfires,” Noah remarked.
New Orleans, Garden District: Chestnut Street House
He found her sitting in an almost empty room, with nothing but a chair propped by a window that overlooked some the slightly overgrown gardens. “Hey.”
Elizabeth twisted in her chair and smiled wanly at him. “Hey. I was just trying to find the best room to…” She shrugged. “I don’t know…sit around in for long periods of time.” She got to her feet. “It’s going to be weird being all on my own here. Back home, I was alone a lot, but I could have called my grandmother or Emily.” She sighed and cast her eyes back to the gardens. “Not much of an option here.”
Jason stepped towards her. “You look better than the day I first visited you in Port Charles,” he told her. “Your color’s coming back.”
“After that horrible doctor’s appointment,” Elizabeth said slowly, “where Dr. Meadows threatened to admit me for observation unless I started taking care of myself, I don’t think I thought about what I was doing to my son.” She braced her hand against the small of her back. “I wasn’t eating, I wasn’t sleeping. There were days I stayed in bed and just stared at the ceiling.”
“I wish…” Jason hesitated. “I wish that you felt like you could have come to me on your own. That you could have talked to me about all of this.”
“I know.” Elizabeth walked towards the entryway, back to the furnished living room with Jason following her. “But I couldn’t tell anyone. You’re the only one who knows what happened that night in the hotel,” she admitted. She glanced back at him. “I only told Ric that Zander had the papers and threatened me.”
Jason shoved his hands into the pocket of his jacket. “Why not?”
She sank onto the sofa and clasped her hands in what was left of her lap. “I don’t know…Maybe I wasn’t sure Ric wouldn’t have agreed with Zander on a few things.” Her brow furrowed, she paused for only a minute. “About why I was with Ric in the first place,” she murmured.
Because she couldn’t be with him. Jason cleared his throat and sat across from her in an armchair. “I don’t want you to feel alone down here,” he said, noting that his change of subject released some of the tension in her expression. “I’m going to call you at least once every other day, every day if I can manage it without looking strange. If people in the town buy the story Ric and I tried to set up—that you left him, that I’m helping you to set up a new life somewhere far away from him, then it won’t look odd if I stay involved.”
“Okay,” Elizabeth agreed. She stretched her hands out. “How did it go with AJ? Can you talk about it?”
“Yeah.” Jason leaned back, letting his head fall against the chair as he looked at the ceiling. “Yeah. He looked…sober.” He scrubbed his hands across his face. “He offered me the contact information for his sponsor so I could verify that he goes to meetings often.”
“That’s good, then.” Elizabeth smiled hesitantly. “I know Emily and Monica will be relieved to know he’s doing so well.”
“He asked me if I was there to apologize for claiming paternity of Michael,” Jason said quietly. He looked at her. “I didn’t know how to answer him.”
“Are you sorry?” Elizabeth asked. “You never used to think about what-ifs.”
“I didn’t see the point in constantly wishing you had done something differently,” he answered almost absently. “Things were what they were. People did what they did, and they couldn’t take it back. You had to deal with what was in front of you.”
“That was always the major difference between us,” she said, almost wistfully. “I constantly think about what could have been. I’ll think of a moment and think…if I could just go back to that moment in time, there were a thousand things I could have done differently.” She sighed. “But I think you have the better outlook. There is no point in wishing you could change the past, you should take what you’ve learned and do better.” She wrinkled her nose, and for a moment, looked as young and carefree as she used when they’d meet on the docks and she’d show him paintings or they’d take rides. “Of course, that kind of stuff is always easier said than done.”
“So…what do you think you’ve learned?” Jason asked.
“I tihnk…” Elizabeth pursed her lips. “I think I’ve learned that it’s always better to trust your gut instinct, and not protect yourself from the truth, and to remember that just because someone lets you down once or twice, or even a few times, it doesn’t make them less reliable.” Her eyes found his and her expression was somber. “It doesn’t mean you’re not still friends, deep under the hurt and pain. I’ve learned that you should trust yourself first, and if you can’t…” She shrugged. “Then you should figure out why and do better.”
“That’s a lot to learn,” Jason said, almost amused. “I’m not sorry that I claimed paternity of Michael,” he said. “Because there’s no way to know if knowing about Michael would have kept AJ from drinking. He might have crashed a car with him inside, like he did with me.” He hesitated. “I amsorry that it created more problems than it solved, that it hurt Robin, it hurt Michael, I know it hurt Emily and Monica, and Lila.”
“And you got that wonderful year with him,” Elizabeth said with a smile.
“Yeah.” Jason’s smile was more genuine now. “And it was worth it.” He rubbed his hands on his denim-clad thighs. “I’m going to tell Carly she should work out a custody agreement with AJ, that Michael deserves the opportunity to make up his mind about his father without anyone else telling him what they think.”
“Do you think that will help matters with Sonny?” she asked. “I know it must be difficult to be so at odds with him.”
“I guess it’s because I thought…when I arranged for Carly and Sonny to have custody of Michael, to really remove myself from Michael’s life that way…” Jason paused. “I thought I was making the best choice, that he could have a real family, but Sonny and Carly have been apart more than they’re together, Morgan hasn’t known a moment’s peace his entire life…” He shook his head. “I hope this helps bring Sonny into reality. There isn’t a judge in the world that will give him full custody.”
“I hope so, too.” She hesitated. “So, what’s good to eat in New Orleans? I haven’t had dinner yet.”
2 I will be there for you
While you take the time
Monday, April 3, 2004
Jason’s Penthouse
Carly sat gingerly on the sofa, clasped her hands together tightly. “So he was sober.” She nodded, more to herself than to Jason. “That’s good.”
“Carly.” He sat next to her and took her hands in his. “I think Michael should find out what AJ is like for himself, make his own decisions.”
“It’s not that…” Carly swallowed hard. “It’s not that I don’t see your point, Jason, I just…I’ve spent Michael’s entire life keeping him from AJ, and now I have to face the fact I may have…” She exhaled a laugh that sounded more like a sob. “No, I know the truth. I was wrong. The AJ that left town last fall…was not the man I knew when Michael was conceived. He was drunk that night, but he was sober for a long time afterward.” She rubbed her forehead. “But I was still so swept up in Tony and in you, and I was so goddamn selfish…”
“Carly…”
“And I took Michael away. I gave him to you, I gave him to Sonny, as if he were this toy I could give to the man of the moment.” She shook her head. “But I never…I never once gave AJ the chance to see if he could be a good father.” She opened her eyes and looked at Jason, tears sliding down her cheeks. “I allowed a man who treats me like a child when things are good, and like a whore when things are bad…I allowed that man to be a father to my children.”
“I don’t…” Jason hesitated. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Carly. You made your choices. You can’t change them. You just…” He smiled, just a little. “You take what you’ve learned and do better.”
“That sounds so much like you.” Carly sighed and stood, pacing to the desk. She turned and looked at him. “It sounds like you used to. You always told me to stop planning, to stop plotting, to stop trying to think fifteen steps ahead of what was happening now. Well, Jase, I’m not planning or plotting anymore. I’m just trying to get up every day and do better than I did the day before.”
“So,” she continued after a long moment. “I think you should give me AJ’s contact information. I want to go down and see him. Not because I don’t trust you, but because there’s some things I think I should say to him and we should work this out between us—”
“Not that I don’t agree with you on that, Carly,” Jason interrupted, “but I think I should go down with you. There are…other things I have to see to.”
Carly tilted her head to the side. “That’s where you took Elizabeth.” When Jason just stared at her, she huffed. “Everyone knows she left Ric last week, and you told me there was something you needed to do. You disappeared for four days at the same time.” Se planted her hands on her hips. “So, you helped her get out, to get away from him. Why do you need to go back? Can’t she stand on her own two feet?”
“Carly, I really don’t feel like going another round with about Elizabeth right now.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck. “You know Elizabeth and I are friends—”
“I know you were friends,” Carly cut in. “I know that I watched her on those screens Ric had in the panic room. I’d say I know her pretty well, and it was just bad timing she had the embolism right after she found me. I felt sorry for her, for being manipulated by him, so I was glad when she divorced him.” She pursed her lips. “But she went back to him. She remarried him. She was going to raise her child with him—”
“Carly, are you perfect?” Jason said quietly.
She closed her mouth. “Jason—”
“You turned Sonny in to the Feds. You seduced your mother’s husband. When you just list all the mistakes a person’s made without any…” He stopped. “Carly, you don’t know what was going through Elizabeth’s mind. You should know better than anyone else in the world how easy it can be to justify actions inside your own head.”
Carly looked down at the floor and sighed. “It annoys the crap out of me when you have a point, Jason. It really does.” She rolled her shoulders. “Fine. You and Elizabeth are the unstoppable love story of the century. Whatever. I will never understand the attraction, but I guess..” She heaved an exaggerated heavy sigh. “I guess it’s not really my business.”
It wasn’t worth it to correct Carly about her assumptions of any romance between he and Elizabeth. Her agreement to stay out of his life—at least for the moment—was worth any misunderstandings. “Fine. About New Orleans—”
“Sonny and I are due back in court in two weeks,” Carly said. “So I’ll want to go down this weekend, to get AJ to agree to testify. If you would like to tag along to check on…whatever, that would be your prerogative.”
3 In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Garden District: Chestnut Street House
The room overlooking the gardens had become Elizabeth’s sanctuary. She had had one of the guards drag some of the furniture from an overstuffed living room, and reluctantly agreed to use some of the money Jason set aside to create a sitting room where she could feel a sense of peace. It was in the back of the house, overlooking a gorgeous garden that must have been carefully landscaped once, but now the tulips, lillies, roses and other assorted wildflowers had broken free of their assigned plots and she thought the overgrown view of it was…better.
It wasn’t perfect, and it was okay, anyway.
It had been nearly a month since Jason had shown up at her front door, since he had listened while details of that horrible night with Zander had tumbled from her lips, and still…he had never looked disgusted or annoyed, or angry. He’d only been concerned.
“Elizabeth, you obviously believe the things Zander said to you, and I don’t know if there’s anything I can say to you to change your mind, to see you the way I see you.”
She had clung to those words, hoping that one day, when she felt better, she could ask him what he’d meant. What did he see when he looked at her?
With the distance from Port Charles, Elizabeth could remember the fear that had coursed through her veins when Zander wouldn’t let her go. He had been out of control, she knew that, and maybe her emotions had been more ramped up because of the hateful things he had been saying, but still…she knew the next day, there had been bruises on her arm from where he’d held her.
Maybe it had not been fully self-defense, but maybe…just maybe, it hadn’t been just to make him stop talking. And if that was true, if it was both at once, where did that leave her? She was still responsible for his death, for his not being alive, but she hadn’t…she hadn’t wanted that.
Maybe she could find her way out of the guilt and the horror of the last few months, and concentrate on her child.
She turned to the stack of letters Jason had mailed her. Emily and Audrey had written her, relieved that she’d left Ric, worried about her and the baby, hopeful that she would get in touch with them soon. Lucky had written her as well, confused as to why she’d go to Jason for help. He and Nikolas would have gotten her out of town if that’s what she needed. She’d just had to say the word.
And then there was the last letter…from Ric.
She knew the people in her life hadn’t understood their marriage in December, had barely understood the first one in May. There were moments she closed her eyes, remembered the horror of finding Carly in that panic room, and then remembered she’d invited Ric back into her life again afterward.
And she knew it had been a mistake, even as she had done so. There had been no anticipation, no excitement as they had said their vows, only a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach that she was on her way to her second divorce before the first anniversary of their first marriage.
She slid the letter out of the envelope and read Ric’s declarations of love, of how difficult it was to listen to people speculate about Elizabeth leaving him, and going to Jason for help, but that it had worked. No one was saying her name and Zander’s in the same breath. The case was going cold again, Mac had made some weak attempts to solve it, but there was always another crime to solve.
He loved her and looked forward to her coming home, hopefully before the baby came. He hoped she could find a way to write him without ruining the ruse.
She set the letter aside, troubled. Everyone in her life wanted her to leave Ric, and honestly…she knew it was true, that while they did love one another, it wasn’t healthy. She had stayed with him to prove that she didn’t walk out when it got tough, had not believed the awful things people said about him initially because she had never believed what they said about Jason. People did not know the Ric she saw. They were different when they were alone.
She stood from the sofa and crossed to the windows, smiling wistfully. If this were actually her home, if she were planing to raise her son here, she’d put a bench in the garden, so she could sit out in the sunlight and sketch.
But this house was temporary, a place for her to gather her courage and her strength, and attempt to put the pieces back together. She was terrified of being alone.
But if that fear led her to stay with a man like Ric…
It was okay if people didn’t see the Ric she knew. Love could be private and still be real. It had been with Jason, though she doubted he ever knew the depth of her feelings, and she didn’t care to speculate if his had matched. The problem with Ric was that the man everyone else saw, the man who was capable of the worst kind of violence…
She could excuse Jason’s actions, understanding they were part of a life that people chose and if people were careful, there were rarely any casualties. But Ric…he had pretended to sleep with Carly, had convinced Courtney to marry him, had lured Sonny to Martha’s Vineyard, slept with Faith…
He kidnapped Carly and held her hostage. Had drugged Elizabeth so they could not conceive their own children while he was awaiting Sonny’s child to kidnap. And she wasn’t stupid—had Ric’s plan unfolded as he had wanted, Carly would have been disposed of after she’d served her purpose.
His list of crimes, of the devastation he wreaked was so terrible, that standing here, when she stopped ignoring them, she almost couldn’t remember why she’d loved him in the first place.
4 I will hold the balance
If you can’t look down
Thursday, June 3, 2004
New Orleans, Uptown District: AJ’s Apartment
Jason watched as AJ took Michael’s overnight bag and directed him to a guest room. After Carly’s first visit to New Orleans, she had reluctantly agreed with Jason’s assessment. She had contacted her divorce lawyer to draw up papers so that AJ could testify in her case with Sonny and begin the necessary paperwork to reverse the termination of his rights.
Sonny had been devastated, and had offered Carly shared custody of the boys immediately, hoping to reverse her decision. But Carly had recognized what Jason had understood. Michael was growing up and they would all have to justify their actions. She told him if AJ was open to it, Sonny would remain a part of Michael’s life, but that she was going to do what she could do to resolve one of her worst moments. She was going to let AJ be a father to Michael.
AJ had flown to Port Charles long enough for the hearings and paperwork to be signed. Had met with Michael. They spoke on the phone a few times a week, and now, for the first time since Michael was a small child, AJ was going to have an entire week with his son.
Jason had agreed to do the drop-off, wanting an excuse to check in on Elizabeth. They spoke a few times a week on the phone and he had daily reports from her guard. Elizabeth’s health was good, her demeanor seemed better, but he wasn’t convinced, and he wasn’t sure she wasn’t pretending.
AJ reappeared. “He’s setting up his laptop and unpacking,” he said, trying to contain his broad grin. “I can’t…” he cleared his throat, and looked away, trying to maintain his composure. “I can’t believe he’s really here.”
“I’m glad he’s getting this opportunity,” Jason said after a moment. He was unsure what to say, how to act with this man who was his brother, but yet, a stranger. “AJ…”
“Jase…” AJ held up a hand. “I know. I won’t screw this up. I’ve dreamed about this for years and now that I have it, nothing is going to—”
“I know you won’t mess it up,” Jason interrupted. “I was going to say…” He hesitated. “When Michael began asking questions about you, I think I understood for the first time how it looked from the outside, how it would look to him, the way we had almost traded fathers around. From Tony, to you, to me, to you, and to Sonny, as if there was something wrong with him, that none of these people bothered to stay around.” He paused. “I realized that we were going to have explain those years to him in a way that made sense, and honestly, I couldn’t.”
AJ sank onto the sofa, his eyes still on his younger brother. “I know what you mean, because the time is going to come when I have to explain to my son that I was a fall down drunk that no one trusted enough to rely on. Had I been any other kind of man, from any other family, maybe Carly—”
“She thought you were going to screw up her chance with Tony,” Jason cut in. “And that the Quartermaines were going to take Michael away. What she did actually had very little to do with you as a person, but the reason I agreed…” The truth of it made him almost ill. “The reason I agreed is because I didn’t particularly give a damn about you, beyond being related to Lila and Emily.”
“Yeah, Jase…” AJ sighed. “Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me. I always figured you had agreed because Carly asked, and you didn’t care enough to say no. But I did that to you. I crashed the car and changed your life.” He stood. “We can’t ever go back and change it, but I should tell you…” He pressed lips together. “You were a good father to him, and I know the way he turned out is in large part because of you in his life, so in the interests of Michael, maybe we could just leave the past in the past.” He held out a hand.
And to Jason’s surprise, taking the offered hand didn’t feel odd or even wrong. Despite AJ’s many transgressions, Jason’s hadn’t been much better. Neither of them could claim superiority.
“I hope that you don’t…” Jason looked away. “That you don’t blame yourself for the accident anymore. I have a good life, AJ. It took a while to get there, but I did. So I don’t blame you.”
AJ closed his eyes. “Thank you,” he said quietly.
5 If it takes my whole life
I won’t break, I won’t bend
Saturday, June 5, 2004
Garden District: Chestnut Street House
Elizabeth considered the distance from the floor to the table where she wanted to prop her feet. Any movement in her ninth month of pregnancy felt like a major decision, and all pros and cons needed to be weighed.
But her feet hurt, so she leaned back against the sofa and began the process.
Jason glanced up from the other end of the sofa where he’d been reading a travel book, his lips curved into a smile. “You want some help with that?”
“I want to say no because I think you’re mocking me, but…” she sighed, and closed her eyes. “If you could.”
He set the book down on the couch, and leaned forward, grasping her legs at the calves and gently lifting them so she was propped up on the coffee table. “You want a pillow?”
“No.” Elizabeth opened her eyes and looked at him. “You’re staying the whole week for Michael, aren’t you? In case he doesn’t want to stay.”
“Yes,” Jason admitted. He picked up the book—on Croatia, she noted—and flipped a page. “But I don’t think he will. Michael seemed to get along with him, and they were both excited about seeing some of the sights.” He eyed her. “And you’re about twelve seconds from labor, so I thought I’d stick around through your due date next week, if that’s okay.”
“Again, I want to say no…” Elizabeth rested her hands on her abdomen. “These last two months, away from Port Charles and all that baggage…” she blew out a breath. “This has meant the world to me, you know.”
“You look good,” Jason said. “You don’t look…I don’t know…” he hesitated. “Unhappy.”
“I think…I’m beginning to accept that what happened that night with Zander, when he died,” she said in a halting tone, “doesn’t have to define my life. I don’t have to punish myself for a single moment of fear.” Twisting her wedding ring on her finger. “I think I had let myself forget that, sitting back at home, constantly surrounded by memories of that night. I forgot that I was terrified, that he had this look in his eyes that I had never seen before, not even on his worst days.”
“The case is pretty cold,” Jason said after a moment. “You could probably come home if you wanted to.”
She closed her eyes. “People still think I left Ric. They must wonder if I’m filing for divorce.”
“I don’t…” He scratched the corner of his eyebrow. “I don’t listen to much gossip, but yeah, I guess people assumed you might have. To avoid your son being born into the marriage, which could complicate things.”
“Yeah…” Elizabeth pursed her lips. “It would complicate things.” She turned her head and met his eyes. “I haven’t just been trying to move past my guilt about Zander. I’ve been…” she licked her lips. “I’ve really been thinking about my marriage, and my choices to stay with Ric. To marry him both times.”
Jason tapped the page, and she could see him warring with the desire to ask her to elaborate, but not wanting to push. And she wondered if he really wanted to have this conversation.
“To be honest, Jason,” she said slowly, “the first time I married him, I used a lot of the arguments with myself that I had always used with other people about you.” When the skin around his mouth tightened, she continued. “I always figured that people had no right to judge you when they didn’t really know you, they didn’t see you the way I did.” She turned her back towards her views of the garden. “They weren’t there the night you sat with a girl who wasn’t much more than your little sister’s friend and let her pour out her heart over her dead boyfriend, or that you taught me how to live with my memories and not let them drown me.” She sighed. “So when Taggart or my grandmother would ridicule me for being your friend, I just told them to shove it, because you weren’t the man they said you were.”
“So, when I warned you about Ric,” Jason said after a moment. “You thought that you owed him the same loyalty—”
“In a way,” she agreed. “You have to understand something, Jason. Ric is…” She hesitated. “He’s charming in a way that doesn’t feel slick, which makes it hard not to believe him. And I was…I was vulnerable.” She looked at him. “I wanted to matter to someone, and it seemed like I mattered to him.”
Jason put the book aside, and sat up. “And you didn’t think you mattered to me anymore,” he said quietly.
“No,” she confirmed, never looking away from him. “And after I knew the terrible things he had done, I pulled away from him. Then I found out I was pregnant.” She closed her eyes, remembering the brief life that had been snuffed out. “I was waitress who lived in a crappy studio that didn’t even have its own bathroom, and I was so alone, you know. I thought I only had one choice, but Carly talked me out of it, so when Ric came around, promising that he was done with his hatred for Sonny, promising me that our child was important to him, that we could have a family…” A tear slid down her cheek. “I wanted it so much. I didn’t want to be alone.”
“I get all of that, I really do, Elizabeth.” Jason leaned forward. “But you knew the second time you married him what he was capable of, what he did to Carly—” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Christ, what he did to you—”
“I know, but…” She struggled to sit up, and he leaned over to help put her feet on the ground. “Jason, I found myself in exactly the same position I had been before. I was pregnant again, this time by a man whose life was spinning out of control, and I was so…” her voice broke. “I was so alone, and Ric…he was always there. He kept…telling me how much he loved me, and that he wanted to get help, he wanted to be a better person. After everything I’d been through with Lucky…and…” Her voice faltered, “you…I just didn’t want to be alone.” She twisted the hem of her shirt in her fingers. “I can’t…I can’t explain it better than that, because most of the time, I don’t understand.”
“Elizabeth…” She glanced up, and instead of the disappointment she had expected, Jason’s eyes were filled with sorrow and concern. “There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be alone, with wanting someone to love you. You deserve someone who loves you.” He hesitated. “For the sake of argument, let’s put the things Ric did aside…I think that he does love you, Elizabeth. I don’t want to admit it, but he didn’t care that people would think you’d come to me for help to get away from him.”
“But?” she prompted, knowing it was coming.
“But you know you can’t trust him.” He took her hands in his. “If you could, you would have told him what Zander said to you. That Zander accused you of only being with men who reminded you of me. But you didn’t tell him.”
“No,” Elizabeth exhaled. “No, I did not. Partly because I don’t trust Ric. But also, because it’s true.” She looked down at her intertwined hands. “I do love Ric, but I started seeing him, I…was with Zander because they both have…qualities that reminded me of you, so I didn’t tell Ric what Zander said because I knew he’d see that it was the truth, at least a little.”
“Elizabeth—”
“Anyway,” she cut in swiftly. “What I wanted to tell you before I got maudlin was that I decided I should file for divorce.” She gently pulled her hands away. “And I should file immediately while Ric doesn’t know where I am.”
As if understanding the moment for deeper conversation had passed, Jason leaned back and cleared his throat. “Do you want me to contact someone back home and put you in touch with them? Carly interviewed a lot of attorneys before settling on Diane.”
Before she could answer, her belly tightened, and she gasped. The little twinges she’d been having off and on for a few hours…