May 15, 2020

This entry is part 6 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

And I don’t blame ya dear
For running like you did all these years
I would do the same, you best believe
And the highway signs say we’re close
But I don’t read those things anymore
I never trusted my own eyes
Stubborn Love, The Lumineers


Tuesday, March 21, 2006

General Hospital: Break Room

“Oh, Bobbie, I’m so glad I caught you.”

Bobbie Spencer turned from the coffee pot and offered Elizabeth a warm smile. “Hey, sweetie.” She kissed her cheek. “How are you doing? We haven’t caught up in a few weeks.”

She mixed sugar into the coffee she poured. “How’s surgery?”

“A little boring. It’s been a lot of paperwork so far,” Elizabeth confessed. She folded her arms, leaned back against the fridge. “Patrick wants me to be familiar with a lot of the complications, to know the procedures before he’ll start letting me scrub in to observe or assist.”

“Makes sense.” Bobbie’s lips curved into a smile. “You could still change your mind. We need a nurse down in the ER—”

“I know, I know. But I have better hours upstairs, and that matters right now.” Elizabeth hesitated. “Listen, I wanted to ask you what your schedule was like. Gram is leaving for Memphis later this week, and she picks up Cameron from daycare a few nights.”

“Oh, yeah?” Bobbie sipped her coffee. “What’s Lucky doing?”

Elizabeth pressed her lips together, looked away. “Um—well, he’s doubling up on his physical therapy. You know Patrick didn’t give him a return date yet, and, uh—” She tucked her hair behind her ears. “I can pay you—”

“Stop it. We’re family.” Bobbie waved it away. “I was just wondering why Lucky wasn’t jumping at the chance to spend a little more time with Cam.” She tilted her head. “Have you guys started the adoption process yet?”

“Oh.” Elizabeth laughed nervously, looking down. “No, no. We’re—we’re, um, holding off on that for a little while. There are, uh, filing fees. And you know, Lucky’s his stepfather right now, so—” She stopped. “When things calm down,” she said finally. “We’re going to revisit it then.”

“I see.” Bobbie sat down at the table, nodded. “Well, I have Carly’s boys a few times a week — to give Leticia a few free evenings while Carly works. She bought into the Metro Court, did you know?”

“I saw something about that. So, maybe Lulu or one of her friends could babysit?” Elizabeth frowned. “Or do you think they’ll—”

“No, what I was going to say is that it might be good for Cameron to play with the boys. He and Morgan are a few months apart, and Michael does a good job with younger kids. I can probably give you two or three nights a week right now.” Bobbie raised her brows. “How many did you need?”

“That’ll work for now. Thank you so much. And I love the idea of Cameron playing with kids his age. I should get back to work—”

“Elizabeth?”

She turned back at the door to look at her aunt by marriage. “Yeah?”

“Is…everything okay?”

Elizabeth forced a smile on her face. “It’s fine. Thanks again, Bobbie. My break is over.”

General Hospital: Hallway

 Patrick frowned when he saw Lucky pacing the hallway outside of his office. “Lucky? Did I forget an appointment?”

“No—” Lucky huffed. “I’m sorry. I know that I was—” He clenched his fists at his side and took a deep breath. “I know I was out of line at my last appointment. Do you have a minute?”

“I have a few before I have to go down for rounds.” Patrick unlocked his office and gestured for Lucky to come in. “How’s the pain?”

“Worse than when I left the hospital,” Lucky admitted. He cleared his throat. “Because I’m out of the pain meds and I was hoping—”

“You weren’t able to find another doctor?” Patrick leaned over his desk and dug Lucky’s chart from a pile on his desk. “I told you, Lucky. I’m not prescribing you any more.” He flipped it open, just to refresh his memory. “I mean, you’ve been in and out of the hospital for a while—and it looks like the train accident wasn’t the first time you’d been prescribed the oxy.”

“Uh…no, I had it after the coma last year.” Lucky rubbed his chest. “I had a rough year—”

“Shot in the chest, a stroke, impaled by a pole—” Patrick nodded. “Yeah, I get it, Lucky. I really do. You’ve been on oxycontin off and on for a year.” He hesitated. “I didn’t have the earlier records the last time we talked. When you told me about the other injuries, I got curious. You never…”

He met Lucky’s eyes. “You never went off the oxy, did you? You kept asking for refills, and the doctor kept refilling it. At the same dosage.”

“Because I’m not addicted. I just need to get through the day—those pills were why I was able to get back to work—I have a family—” Lucky scowled. “What the hell are you accusing me of?”

“Nothing. But knowing that you’ve been on these meds for a year now?” Patrick shook his head. “I’m not writing a refill. I haven’t changed my mind—”

“Bullshit! You weren’t my doctor last year! You have no right to judge me!” Lucky grabbed Patrick by the shirt and shook him. Despite Patrick’s height and health, he merely arched a brow as if curious enough to see where this would go.

“I’m a fucking cop! I got injured in the line of duty! I need to get back to work! I need to get through physical therapy! You have to refill—”

“You need to go to the pain management clinic.” Patrick looked down at the hands holding his scrubs. “You gonna let me go, or do I have to call for security?”

“Fuck you!” Lucky spat. He shoved Patrick away. “You think you know what it’s like to be me? I was shot in the chest! I nearly died! I got a pole shoved through me—I’m lucky to walk! I did that! I got back on my feet!”

“You did. And maybe you’ll do it again. But not with those pain meds. A year is long enough, Lucky.” Patrick reached for his notepad. He scribbled something down, ripped off the sheet, then handed it to Lucky. “Here—”

Hoping it was a refill, Lucky snatched it out of his hands. Blood pounded in his ears as he realized Patrick had just, once again, written down the address of the pain management clinic. “You son of a bitch!”

He swung out with his left hand, intending to break apart his pretty face, but Patrick quickly sidestepped him. Lucky fell onto the desk, then rolled onto the floor, panting and wincing from the pain.

“You have a problem,” Patrick said quietly. “You need to get it under control. You have a beautiful wife, a son—”

Lucky shoved himself to his feet, wiped his mouth, and glared at him. “You better not be filling my wife’s head with this shit! I am not an addict! You have no right to tell her!”

“I haven’t.” Patrick grimaced. “I wish I had when I first took you off the pills. But you revoked permission, and I have to respect that. But Lucky—” He shook his head. “You keep going down this path, and Elizabeth will find out sooner or later.”

“Well, it won’t be from you!” Lucky tore the address into pieces and let them drop on the ground. “Go to hell.”

He staggered out of the office and made it to a nearby restroom. Lucky splashed water on his face, trying to get himself under control, to block out the burning fire in his back. He just wanted his life back.

And that was never going to happen unless he could make the pain go away.

General Hospital: Hallway

Elizabeth slid the last chart into the slot on the door and breathed a sigh of relief that she was finally done checking every last patient under her care. They were stable, their meds were up to date—

She had been nervous about taking over the post-surgery ward as part of her training, but it had gone pretty well so far, and— Elizabeth checked her watch with a smile. It was time for her break.

She took the service stairs down a flight to get to the locker room—she wanted to call Cameron’s daycare and check on him. She never got to spend enough time with her little guy, and every minute counted.

But when she retrieved her phone from her purse, she frowned down at it. She had three missed calls from Lucky and one from Jason. She bit her lip, then dialed her husband first because that was the right thing to do.

“Hey—”

“Where the hell have you been?”

Elizabeth flinched at the anger in his voice. “I’m at work, Lucky. I don’t have my phone while I’m on shift. If you need me—”

“You weren’t at work! I just looked for you there! Nadine said you weren’t there! That you didn’t work there anymore!”

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. “Lucky, I don’t work on the Pediatrics floor anymore. Don’t you remember? I got—I got promoted. To surgery. I’m on the sixth floor. Are you still here—”

“I—” He was quiet for a long moment. “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice calmer now. “I forgot. I’ve had a lot on my mind. No, I went home.”

“Okay—”

“I’ll see you later.”

The line went dead, and Elizabeth just stared at it for a long moment. She thought about running upstairs to ask Nadine what the hell happened, but…

She really didn’t want to know. Lucky had forgotten about the promotion that they’d argued about only a few days ago—her promotion which was the whole reason she couldn’t change her shifts around—

Pushing Lucky and all of it out of her head, she dialed Jason’s number. Maybe he had good news—she hadn’t seen the creepy janitor once today.

“Hey. You called? I’m sorry. I’m at work, and I don’t have my phone on the floor—”

“It’s okay,” Jason said. “I wanted to know when your break was. Or ask if you can meet after work.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth blinked. “Is everything okay? I’m—I’m on break right now, but—”

“I’m in the area, so I can be there in ten minutes. Is that enough? I’ll meet you on the roof.”

“Yeah, uh, ten minutes is fine.” She hung up the phone, then shook her head. It seemed like the day for weird calls. She grabbed her coat, hung it over her arm as she shoved her cell phone into the pockets of her scrubs, and closed her locker.

When she left the room, she stopped still as Manny Ruiz exited a hospital room on the other side of her. He flashed her a smile. “Hey, Elizabeth. It’s nice to see you.”

“Uh, hello—”

“Have a nice day.”

Then he wheeled his cart down the hall, whistling as he walked. Elizabeth fought the urge to shudder, then went back to the service stairs. She didn’t want him to follow her to the elevator and know where she was going.

General Hospital: Roof

As she stepped out onto the roof, she pulled her coat on—the winds were still brutal at this time of year, and she didn’t know what the hell Jason was thinking, asking her to meet up here.

She blew warm air into her hands, rubbed them together. “Just because he can’t feel cold doesn’t mean the rest of us are so lucky,” she muttered. She glanced over her shoulder as the heavy steel door to the hospital opened, and Jason stepped out.

“Hey—”

“Hey. What’s going on?” She walked towards him, shoving her hands in her pockets—she’d forgotten to grab her gloves. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just—” Jason grimaced. “I’m sorry. I forgot how cold it is—I just didn’t want Manny to see us meeting.”

“Oh.” She shoved a piece of hair away from her face. “Fair enough. I hadn’t heard from you since the pier, so I guess—” She managed a half-smile. “I guess I thought the problem was almost over.”

“Yeah, I wanted it to be,” Jason admitted. “But Sonny—” He shook his head. “He doesn’t think we should do anything.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth drew her brows together. “Oh. Okay. I guess—well, maybe he’s right. Maybe I’ve overreacting—” When she saw him look away, she paused and thought about what he’d said. “He doesn’t think you should do anything,” she repeated. “That’s not the same thing as nothing needs to be done.”

“Skye is Alcazar’s problem,” Jason managed to say, though it looked as if every word had to be forced from his throat. “And—” He broke off, looked at the ground.

“I’m married to a cop,” Elizabeth finished. “So, you don’t need to do anything about either of us.”

“I didn’t—” He shook his head. “It’s not what I think, but—”

“But it’s what Sonny thinks.” She closed her eyes. Oh, man. Things never changed. “Well, that’s that. Thanks. Maybe I’ll talk to Alcazar—”

Elizabeth started past Jason, but he grabbed her elbow—stopped her from leaving. She turned back to face him. “What?”

“I know what you’re thinking—”

“You really don’t—”

“I told Sonny—”

“Jason—” Elizabeth held up her hands, palms out. “Look, I really get it. It doesn’t matter that Luke and Sonny were business partners, that Lucky was brought up in this world, too. You know? He’s a cop now. And I married him. I get that for Sonny, it puts a huge dent in my credibility. I really do understand that.”

“Elizabeth—”

“And he doesn’t know Skye. Other than when she testified at your murder trial and tried to have Brenda convicted of murder—” Elizabeth winced. “She’s not someone who matters to him. And—” It went without saying that Elizabeth hadn’t really ever mattered to Sonny either. “I get it,” she repeated. She bit her lip, then shook her head. “I should get back to work—”

“What were you going to say?” Jason pressed, laying his hand on the door so she couldn’t open it. “Elizabeth—”

She hesitated, then sighed. “Honestly? It doesn’t surprise me.” She met his eyes, saw him frown. “It’s just—” She looked away. “I thought you were worried, too. When I told you I trusted you to take care of Manny—I don’t know. It seemed like it mattered to you.”

“It does—”

“Not enough,” she said with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t know what made me think things would be different this time.”

Jason blinked, stepped back with a shake of his head. “This time?” he echoed.

“Sonny gave you an order,” she said softly. “And you’re going to follow it. Nothing’s changed at all, has it?”

He swallowed hard—and she knew now that Jason knew exactly what she meant. He’d remembered it when they’d talked briefly about Sonny faking his death, but she wasn’t sure how much of it had stayed with him.

“Elizabeth—”

“I think maybe I wondered…I wondered because of what happened with Courtney,” she said slowly, even as her brain screamed shut the hell up! “And then Sam’s daughter. I thought—but I get it now.”

“What—” He clenched his fists at his side. “What do you get?” he asked finally.

“Sonny gives you an order, and you follow it. Unless it matters enough for you to do what you think is right.” She smiled, even as her vision blurred. “And this doesn’t.” She took a deep breath. “Skye doesn’t matter.”

She didn’t say anything else, but the unspoken conclusion hung between them, heavy in the chilled air.

I don’t matter.

“That’s not—”

“I was wrong back then. When I said you would always be Sonny’s enforcer.” He closed his mouth, pressed his lips together. “First, last—maybe. But not always. So, I guess there’s that.”

When he said nothing else, she nodded. “I’m going back to work. Thanks for letting me know.”

General Hospital: Lab

Robin glanced up when her door crashed open, and an angry neurosurgeon stalked in. “Hello,” she said blandly. “Having a bad day?”

She made a note with her pencil as she awaited whatever snark Patrick would offer—their usual routine. Then he just sat on the stool next to her and glared at the wall, she set down her pencil.

“What’s wrong?”

“Patient confidentiality is what’s wrong. You should never have friends.” Patrick glared at her. “This is your fault.”

“Because I encouraged you to be nice to people?” Robin asked. “Because I didn’t tell you to make friends.”

“No, but—” He scowled, dragged his hands through his hair. “I can’t tell you. You’re not a doctor on his case.”

“No, but I’m not stupid. And if I guess it, then you’re in the clear.” She pursed her lips. “You have a total of two friends in Port Charles. Elizabeth and me.”

“I have other friends—”

“Frat brothers scattered to the corners of the Earth, yes, I know.” Robin tipped her head to the side. “Something wrong with Lucky’s case? And he’s not telling Elizabeth? But it’s something she should know?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that.” Patrick grimaced. “But I really can’t deny it.” He stared at her sullenly. “He revoked her access to his files. Not that she cared, I bet. But it meant I could talk to her. And now I wish I’d said this thing to her before he revoked.”

“But you didn’t.” Robin hesitated. “I’ve known Lucky for years. He’s a good guy—”

“Who just took a swing at me—” Patrick shook his head. “I’m sure he’s a good guy who has had a lot of rotten luck. But he’s being a dick about it—”

“He really went after you? Did you call security?”

Patrick snorted. “Please. He’s got the strength of a fly right now. Anyway, can you think of a way around this whole friend thing? Is there a loophole? Because if I’m right, Elizabeth really should know this. As a human being on this planet, I want her to know—”

“Patrick, can you just—” Robin wrinkled her nose, then sighed. “Look, Elizabeth works at the hospital, so she knows about confidentiality. And she lives with him, so whatever he’s dealing with, she’ll figure out. The only loophole—which I’m sure you know—is imminent danger. If you know something about your patient—”

“I can contact the authorities if I think he’s going to hurt someone, himself, or otherwise break the law. Yeah.” Patrick flicked a pencil across the desk. “No such luck. I think he’s just making a dumb decision.” He paused. “I think…if things don’t change, I think it might be something that could get him in trouble down the line.”

“Okay.” Robin nodded. “So, we wait. We pay attention. I like Elizabeth, too. I haven’t worked with her as much as you have, but she was always a good person.” She touched Patrick’s hand. “I’m sorry we can’t do more.”

“I just—” Patrick shook his head. “There are things that I’m seeing that remind me…” He met her eyes. “They remind of my dad. And sometimes, when my dad got into moods, you stayed clear of him. And that’s all I can say.”

Robin sat back and swallowed the initial protest that she knew Lucky, knew that he wouldn’t do those things. “We’ll keep our eye out, Patrick,” she repeated. “And we’ll stick by Elizabeth. We’ll be her friend. That’s all we can do for now.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

 Sam looked at the clock on the mantelpiece and frowned before picking up her phone to dial Jason’s number. He’d said he’d be early tonight, and she wanted to talk to him—wanted to clear the air. Things had been tense and weird between them since their fight over the maternity test, and Sam wanted things to just go back to the way they had been.

She felt slightly mortified that she’d acted that way on the pier yesterday when she’d seen Jason sitting close to Elizabeth. They’d looked so…intimate. They’d been making eye contact, their bodies turned towards one another—

Sam had been sure something was going on she didn’t understand—but then he’d told her it was about Manny, and Elizabeth had looked positively bewildered by the suggestion of anything else. Whatever weird flirtation they might have had in the past—it was over. Jason had told her that—

The door opened, and Sam turned around to see Jason walk in. “Hey, I was hoping—”

She stopped when Jason didn’t look at her. He hung up his coat, then put his gun in the lockbox in the closet. “What’s wrong?”

“What?” Jason frowned and shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

“You just—you look like something’s wrong.” Sam folded her arms. “I know we’ve been fighting, but—” She bit her lip. “You said you were going to talk to Sonny yesterday. I was asleep when you got home. Is—did something happen?”

“I—” Jason took a deep breath. “Maybe. I don’t know. Elizabeth thinks Manny is watching Skye at the hospital, but Sonny doesn’t seem to think—” He rubbed his eyebrow. “He doesn’t think it’s our problem.”

“Manny isn’t your problem?” Sam repeated skeptically. “How does he figure that? Is that what you and Elizabeth were talking about yesterday?”

“Uh, yeah. She’d just—she’s worried. But Sonny thinks Skye is Alcazar’s problem, and—”

“Since Alcazar decided to start taking over in Miami, he’s fallen off your radar, right?” Sam shrugged. “Maybe Sonny’s right. Alcazar should have a guard on his girlfriend. Especially since she’s pregnant. I mean, are you surprised that’s what he thinks?”

“No,” Jason admitted. “No, I guess I’m not. I just—I think Elizabeth was disappointed,” he continued, his voice dropping just slightly as he’d continued speaking. Sam squinted at that, trying to understand his shift in tone.

“Because she’d thought you’d ride to Skye’s rescue?” Sam asked. “Well, I mean, she doesn’t get it. Right? I mean, you can’t do anything crazy to draw attention to you, the PCPD is still watching Manny, and Skye’s the one walking around without a guard.”

“Yeah—” Jason rubbed his chest, absently. “Yeah, I know. That’s all true. But—”

“But you still feel responsible for Manny,” Sam said slowly. “Because you didn’t kill him when you had the chance. So anything he does is on you.” She wrinkled her nose. “Jason, that’s kind of insane. I mean, Manny’s done crap to a lot of people. Is all of it your fault?”

“No. No, but—”

“He’s not coming after anyone you care about, is he?” Sam asked, arching her brows. “I mean, it’s not like Sonny is telling you to abandon someone who matters. Skye isn’t even really part of your family. Why do you care about her?”

“I don’t, really,” Jason said. But he frowned at her. “But Lila and Emily do. Alan does.”

“Fair enough.” Sam tilted her head. “You told Elizabeth what Sonny said?”

“Uh, yeah.” Jason looked away, looked towards the desk. He put his hands on the back of the chair “I talked to her today. I just came from the hospital.” He glanced at Sam for a moment, then looked away again.

Sam straightened her shoulders. “Jason, you said Elizabeth was someone you trusted, right? I mean, it’s not like she’s trying to get you to do something that you could get in trouble for to help her husband?”

Jason wrinkled his nose, almost in disgust. “No—no, that’s not—she wouldn’t do that. She’s scared of Manny. Lucky already told her they couldn’t do anything. So she’s…”

“I just—I guess I’m trying to figure out why you’re so….” Sam wiggled her fingers. “So weird right now. You agree with me, you agree with Sonny — this isn’t your problem. Except for the fact you always take on the weight of the world. So, what, are you upset because you disappointed Elizabeth Spencer? I didn’t realize you were so close.”

“We’re—we’re not,” Jason said after a long moment. “But that doesn’t mean I like letting her down.”

He said this more to the surface of the desk because he didn’t look up when he said it. Sam narrowed her eyes. “Courtney said something weird to me once.”

Jason looked up, frowned at her. “What—”

“She said that no matter what,” Sam said, folding her arms, “I was never going to measure up to Elizabeth. I thought it was a weird thing to say at the time, and I mostly forgot it. I met Elizabeth later that summer, and I just got this weird vibe that the two of you had been something once.”

“Sam—” Jason exhaled slowly. “Once. A long time ago. It didn’t—It didn’t go anywhere,” he said, almost as if he were forcing the words out. “But we were always friends. We’re just—we’re not that close anymore.”

“But you asked her to run my test—”

“Because I knew I could trust her. And I’d already told her about the orderlies at the hospital watching Manny. Sam, it’s not—” Jason paused. “It’s not more complicated than that.”

“Okay.” Sam pursed her lips. “Then I’m sorry you disappointed a friend, Jason, but she doesn’t live in this world. She doesn’t get it. I mean, do you think Sonny’s wrong about not getting involved?”

“I think there are good reasons not to,” Jason said slowly. “But that doesn’t change the fact that Manny Ruiz is a dangerous psycho, and we’d all be better off if he were gone.”

“You’re not Superman,” Sam said flatly. “It’s not your job to fix the world.”

Jason looked at her for a long moment, and she had a strange thought she’d said the exact wrong thing. “I’m gonna head to the warehouse. We’re expecting a shipment.”

“Jason—” Sam just stared at him as he took down his gun, tucked it into his jeans, then put on his coat. “You just got home—”

“I’ll see you in the morning.”

“But—”

The door closed behind him, and she scowled. Just what the hell had gotten into him lately?

May 13, 2020

This entry is part 5 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

Well if you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand
I’ve seen your face before my friend, but I don’t know if you know who I am
Well I was there and I saw what you did, I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off that grin, I know where you’ve been
It’s all been a pack of lies
In the Air Tonight, Phil Collins


Monday, March 20, 2006

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Elizabeth sighed as she hung up her cell phone and looked at Cameron, seated in his booster seat and smearing applesauce on the plastic tray in front of him. “Well, Aunt Em says she can’t come.”

“That dumb.” Cameron sighed, then shoved his applesauce covered fingers in his mouth and licked them. “Miss Em.”

She sighed. She and Emily hadn’t seen each other outside of the hospital in weeks, which is why she’d decided to spend her day off having breakfast with her best friend. But Emily had called at the last minute — something had come up. Just like every other time they’d tried to make plans.

This was not a good sign. Emily was in the middle of something and not telling anyone. Not that Emily couldn’t have a secret, but Emily’s secrets had a way of blowing up on a person.

Or being stored in a freezer on Spoon Island.

“Elizabeth?”

She looked up to find Skye smiling at her, a cup of tea in her hand. “Do you mind if I join you for a minute?”

“Oh, not at all.” Elizabeth gestured at the empty seat in front of her. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks. And thank you for catching Alan on his way out of surgery. He called later to apologize.” Skye sipped her tea and smiled at Cameron as he examined his applesauce-covered fingers.

“He’ll be two in May.” Elizabeth used one of the wipes she carried with her to clean Cameron’s hands.

“I can’t wait to have those moments,” Skye said. She sighed. “For a long time — I’m sure you know this—I didn’t think I could have children. This—” She rested a hand absently on her abdomen. “This is a miracle I never could have asked for.”

“I know what you mean. Cameron—” Elizabeth couldn’t fight the grin that spread on her face as her son gave her a wide smile with his baby teeth shining at her—then immediately plunged his hand back into his applesauce. “I had a miscarriage just before I got pregnant with Cameron, so he felt doubly precious.”

“The reason I wanted to…” Skye bit her lip. “And please, if I’m being rude or prying, really, I’ll back off. But you just—I feel like you might be the only person I could ask this question.”

“Oh?” Elizabeth raised her brows. “Is everything okay?”

“It is. I’m just…” The redhead hesitated. “You know that this baby—that it’s fathered by Lorenzo Alcazar.”

“I do.”

“And…it’s not like I didn’t know who he was before I got involved with him. And I’m not exactly some innocent civilian.” Skye laughed, her eyes twinkling with a bit of mischief. “I know how to make trouble, but my kind of trouble…well, it’s different from Lorenzo’s.”

“I bet.” Elizabeth pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side. “So…what can I do?”

“It seems silly, but…I don’t know, having a child with a man who…leads a life like this…I suppose I’m thinking about my choices. And…this is so intrusive—I’m sorry—”

“Skye…if you’re thinking about Zander being Cameron’s father, I mean…Zander died before Cameron was born—”

“Oh.” Skye shook her head. “No, I guess I was thinking about you and Jason Morgan. You…I remember that you were dating for a while. Before…” Her lips tightened. “When Lorenzo’s brother, Luis, was in Port Charles.”

“Ah.” Elizabeth leaned back. “Well, I mean, I guess you could call it dating, but we never…we never talked about family.” She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. “I never knew I wanted to be a mother until I got pregnant the first time, so it wasn’t in my head at all, to be honest. Honestly, Skye, Sam or Carly might be a better person to ask—or Robin.”

“Right. I’m sorry. I never should have—” Flustered, Skye started to stand, but Elizabeth sighed and put out her hand.

But none of those women would probably ever answer Skye’s question, even if she mustered the courage to ask it again. And maybe she wished someone had been there for her back when she’d been asking herself similar questions.

“Listen, I guess if I was honest with myself, the way Jason lives his life never bothered me the way it should have.”

Skye sat back down. “Oh?”

“I mean, yeah, it’s not…you know, my first choice. But it’s what he does. It’s what he did before we ever met. Before we were friends. And, I don’t know…” She bit her lip. “The worst things my life — they never had anything to do with Jason. I was…I was raped when I was a teenager.”

“Oh—”

“I’m married to a cop. And I believe in the law. I really do. I believe in the legal system. But the cops never caught my rapist. And he never paid for what he did to me. He went to jail for something else, but they couldn’t get me justice.” Elizabeth jerked her shoulder. “And look at Manny Ruiz. What did the system do for us there?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“I guess the question you ask yourself, Skye, is if you’re pretending that the life Lorenzo leads has nothing to do with who you are when you’re together. Because you can ignore it for a long time, but not forever. And walking into a relationship with a man like Lorenzo…” She shrugged. “He’s living that life for a reason. What he does is a part of who he is. Otherwise, he’d be doing something else. It’s not all of it, but it’s part of it. So don’t ignore it. You have to be okay with it.”

Skye tilted her face to the side. “Is that what went wrong with you and Jason?” she asked softly. “You ignored it?”

Elizabeth exhaled slowly, looked at Cameron, who grinned at her, then looked back at Syke. “No, I accepted it. I mean, I fell in love with him taking care of him while he was recovering from a bullet wound. His enemies knew who I was, and they put a bomb in my studio. I’ve also been kidnapped and shot at.”

She pressed her lips together. “I never let my face change. I never flinched. But, you know, sometimes, it doesn’t matter what you do if the other person—” She sighed, slowly. It had been a long time since she’d thought of any of this. “It doesn’t matter how much you love someone. Not if they don’t love you back.” Her voice faltered slightly. “And he didn’t.”

“Oh,” Skye breathed. “Oh, I’m sorry—”

“No, no—” Elizabeth shook her head. “It’s okay. I mean, it was terrible for a long time, and I wish—God, I wish he’d told me. I had to figure it out on my own. But we’re okay now. We’re friends again. And I’m—I’ve got my little boy. And I’m…” She stretched her fingers out as if to emphasize her wedding ring. “Things turned out the way they were supposed to, I guess.”

She frowned slightly, looking back at the ring. That was the second time she’d said that this week.

Things had turned out the way they were supposed to. There was something wrong with that phrase. She didn’t know what exactly—

“I really am sorry to have pried, but—”

“But you’re about to become a mother,” Elizabeth finished. She smiled at Skye, a bit sadly. “There’s no question you shouldn’t ask if you want to be a good one. Being a mother—sometimes it makes you braver.” She looked at Cameron. He offered her a handful of applesauce, and she smiled.

And sometimes it made you even more of a coward — but that she kept to herself and Skye mercifully let the topic drop, and they talked for a few minutes about the hospital, about the charity benefit Skye was planning—

And then Elizabeth saw a flash in the window of Kelly’s. A face that disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared.

Skye didn’t see him, her back to the door, but Elizabeth had seen him. And it was the second time in three days she’d seen Manny Ruiz watching Skye. She swallowed hard.

That wasn’t a coincidence. And she couldn’t let it go.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Sam crossed her arms protectively in front of her as she stepped off the bottom step. She approached Jason as he sat at his desk — how much paperwork did a mobster even have? She wrinkled her nose over the thought as he turned to look at her.

“Hey.” She perched on the edge of his desk. “So, I, um, feel bad about Saturday. You’re right. I was…trying to pick a fight. And I’m sorry. I really am.”

Jason sat back in the chair and looked at her. “I’m sorry, too. But I can’t go back and…I can’t undo it.”

“No, I know. And, like, most of me gets it, you know? Like, you were trying to protect me. Why even bring it up if it wasn’t true? It’s just your bad luck…” She pursed her lips. “I don’t know. I guess being mad at you means I don’t really have to think about it? I like…not thinking about it.”

“I know.”

“And maybe it does bother me that Elizabeth Spencer knows. That she knew before me. I don’t know why. I guess I don’t want anyone to know.”

“I shouldn’t have—” Jason turned, took her hand in his. “I just—she told me the results were positive and I guess—I don’t know—I knew I was going to have to tell you, then I thought maybe I wouldn’t—I knew this would hurt you, Sam. That’s the last thing I wanted.”

“Yeah, so I guess I have to be a little grateful to Elizabeth for knocking some sense into you. It’s nice that you have someone that can do that for you. I guess….you know, I didn’t realize you were really friends. I mean, I knew you were once, but I thought it was over.”

“We’re not close,” Jason offered with a shrug. “But we used to be. And I don’t know, sometimes we can still talk to each other.” He frowned when she just pressed her lips together. “Why—why does that bother you?”

“I guess I don’t like thinking there’s a woman out there that gets you. It’s stupid, I know. But, like, she used to have a thing for you.”

“Uh, yeah, well…” Jason cleared his throat. “All of that was a long time ago.” He hesitated, wondering if he should add more because he could see that Sam was upset. He also knew it wasn’t true that Elizabeth had had a thing for him—not the way she meant it. She made it sound like it had been one-sided.

But he didn’t. He didn’t know how to describe his relationship with Elizabeth. He never had. And this wasn’t the time to start.

“What are you going to do about Alexis?” Jason asked finally.

Sam pursed her lips and frowned at him. But she allowed the change of subject. “I don’t want Alexis to know. And I don’t need any answers. Not anymore. Because, you know, they don’t matter. She didn’t want me. And it doesn’t matter why Cody McCall did. He took me from someone who threw me away like garbage—”

“Sam, she was sixteen. Her father must have done all of that—”

“She still did it. And she never looked for me. All those connections—” Sam shook her head. “She could have found me. She didn’t want me then, she doesn’t want me now. It just—none of it matters. I guess—”

She tilted her head to the ceiling. “I don’t know what I expected when I found my birth mother. I think…maybe I thought it would…all snap back into place, you know? Like I’d get the name, and I’d just—I’d feel like myself again. But knowing doesn’t change anything.”

Sam looked at him, met his eyes. “And if doing this job with Paulie makes me feel like myself again, then that’s what I have to do.”

“Okay.”

“I just need to have a win, Jase. That’s it. Just one win. I can do this. I’m good at this, you know. And I’ll just—I need this.”

“Okay,” Jason repeated.

“But you’re still not happy about it.”

“It doesn’t—”

“C’mon, yeah, it does.” Sam slid off the desk and folded her arms again. “It matters that you don’t want me to do it. Why can’t you just let me have this?”

“I’m not telling you that you can’t,” Jason told her. “You’re the one making this a big deal. You said you need this. So go do it. It’s not my job to approve of what you do, Sam. You’re the one that has to live with it.”

“And I’m doing just fine,” she snapped. “I can sleep at night. And so can you. You’re no better than me—”

“I never said that I was—”

“Sure, but you think you are. You’re an honorable mobster, but I’m just a dirty con artist.” She scowled. “It’s bullshit. We’re both criminals. That’s what makes this work—”

“It’s not that simple—” Jason bit off his protest as his phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID, then answered the phone. “What’s up? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Stay there. I’ll meet you.” He hung up. “I have to go.”

“Jason—”

“We’ll—” Jason sighed. “We’ll talk later.”

When he’d left, she sighed and let herself drop like a stone onto the sofa. Talking later wouldn’t change anything. One way or another, Sam would get him to admit this damn double standard and figure out how to make him understand that she didn’t want to keep closing off a part of herself.

Not for anyone.

After another moment, she got up to get changed. She needed to take a walk and clear her head.

General Hospital: Patrick Drake’s Office

Lucky winced as he lowered himself into a chair and faced Patrick sitting at his desk, his face carefully blank—

As if he knew exactly why Lucky had called for an appointment a week sooner than Patrick had suggested.

“How’s your physical therapy going?” Patrick asked blandly as he opened Lucky’s file and pulled a pencil from a cup on his desk. “Did you want to schedule another MRI?”

“No, I—” Lucky took a deep breath. “I’m following the schedule my therapist wanted me, but it’s—it’s hard.” He leaned forward slightly to take the pressure from his back. Every inch of him felt like he was on fire.

“I know, but it’s necessary if you want to get back to full and active duty sooner rather than later.” Patrick sighed, then looked down at the file. “How’s the pain?” he asked finally, but he didn’t look up.

Because he had to know. Of course, the asshole knew exactly how bad Lucky felt.

“Unbearable,” Lucky told him. “I—I ran out of my prescription.”

Patrick sighed. “I…thought you might have. Look, Lucky—”

“I get why you’re—I get it, okay? And it pisses me off that I’m even doing this. This isn’t who I am, Patrick.” Lucky leaned forward even more, his voice pitched low, almost a growl. “I’m angry all the time because of the pain. I’m snapping at Elizabeth—I’m a terrible husband, a shitty stepfather—I’m in pain all, Patrick. And I just—I need some relief. Just a little bit.”

“I hear you, but the fact is…we have new dosage guidelines for opiates from the board, and I’m just…I’m not comfortable continuing to keep you on pain meds. You’ve developed a tolerance for the recommended dosage, and I’m just—I’m not going to increase it. You’ve also gone through this prescription too fast. I warned you—”

“I just—I’m working hard. I’m doing the program—”

“Did you call the pain clinic?” Patrick asked. When Lucky just glared at him, his doctor sighed. “They can help you manage the pain, get through the bad days. Get you through the therapy. You’re in a bad mood, Lucky, not just because of the pain, but you’re probably going through withdrawal.” He tipped his head to the side. “When did you run out?”

Lucky scowled. “Two days ago, but—”

“Yeah, that makes sense. It’s been four straight months of opiates, and two days without—”

“I’m not a fucking drug addict—”

“People rarely choose addiction,” Patrick said. His tone was kind, but Lucky just heard the asshole patronizing him as if he were a child. “And the number one way people develop one is through abuse of pain prescriptions.”

“Abuse?” Lucky shot his feet and grunted as fire danced up his spine. He took a deep breath, bracing his hands on the desk. “I took them the way I was told to—”

“If you took the recommended dose, Lucky, you’d still have half the bottle left. But you’re taking them when you feel pain. Not when the body can handle it.” Patrick also stood. “I’m sorry that you don’t agree with me. I really am. But it’s not responsible for me to continue giving you pain pills when you’re clearly developing a dependence. We need to get a handle on it now—”

“Fuck you. I’m a goddamn cop. I was injured in the line of duty, and you’re telling me I have to suffer just because I took a few extra pills now and again.” Lucky shook his head. “I’m not an addict. I’m just trying to get my life back—”

“I know. The pain clinic can help—”

“Fuck the clinic. I’m going to another doctor—”

“That’s your right. And maybe another doctor will see it differently. But they’ll be wrong. And they won’t be doing you any favors.” Patrick sighed. “Did you tell Elizabeth about the pain clinic—”

“No. And don’t you be telling her any of this bullshit about me being a drug addict. I’m the patient; don’t I have any goddamn privacy?”

“As your wife, she was allowed access to your records during your hospitalizations, but if you’re revoking that—”

“I am! I don’t need you filling her head with any of this. You’ll be getting a call from my next doctor. Because this is bullshit. Tony would have done this for me—”

“That’s probably true,” Patrick allowed with a shrug. “But he would have been wrong. But you’re free to get another opinion.”

“That’s exactly what I’m gonna do!” Lucky slammed the door behind him as he stormed out.

Elm Street Pier

Restless, Elizabeth sat on a bench, crossed her arms and stared out over the water. She just—she needed to clear her conscience about this. She would have told Jason what she’d seen over the phone, but he’d insisted on meeting her in person.

She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to see him in person, which was crazy. She’d seen him a handful of times over the last few weeks—they could talk to each other like ordinary people again. There shouldn’t be a reason for her to dread seeing Jason, of looking at his face.

Except for all the ways looking at him, talking to him suddenly felt more complicated than it had even a day earlier.

It wasn’t just the fight with Lucky or the reminder from Emily that people still remembered that stupid Christmas party—and it wasn’t the conversations they’d had about his lying to her about Sonny or that he’d taken her seriously about Manny—

None of that helped, but it was the conversation she’d had with Skye that morning, the mistake she should have stopped herself from making. She shouldn’t have let herself remember the pain she’d felt at the end of their relationship or the agony of knowing her love for him hadn’t been returned.

Remembering at all that she’d been in love with him, and he’d never felt the same way was something she didn’t want or need in her life. Once this stuff with Manny was over, Elizabeth very much wanted to go back to pretending Jason Morgan was nothing more than her best friend’s older brother.

“Elizabeth?”

She looked at the sound of Jason’s voice as he stepped up from Pier 52; he must have parked at the Corinthos-Morgan warehouse. She got to her feet. “Hey. You really didn’t need to come all the way down here—”

“I needed to get out of the house,” Jason said but didn’t elaborate. “You said you wanted to talk to me about Manny. What happened since yesterday?”

“I mean, I could be overreacting—I probably am—”

“Elizabeth,” Jason interrupted before she could really pick up steam. “I told you. Whatever you see, you tell me. You let me decide if it’s important.”

“Right.” She dragged her hand through her hair. “I was at Kelly’s today—it’s my day off, and I was supposed to have breakfast with Emily—she canceled again, by the way, so something is really wrong there—but Skye came over to ask me—” She stopped. Flushed. “To ask me something. It’s not important.”

Jason squinted. “It’s not?”

“No.” Absolutely not. “Anyway, we were talking for a while—I was facing the door, her back was to it—and I just—I saw Manny in the window. He was looking at us—at Skye, I mean. Not me. He has no reason to look at me. But then he disappeared. It’s just—it’s the second time—”

“Yeah, it’s the second time you’ve caught him around Skye.” Jason grimaced. “Are you sure it’s…just Skye? That he’s not letting you see him?”

“Oh.” Elizabeth blinked. “I—I hadn’t thought about that. Oh. Do you think he’s…maybe he saw us at the hospital last week, and he’s just—he wants to annoy you? Aren’t there easier ways?”

“Yeah, but Manny plays games. It’s his thing.” Jason rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t like the idea of him using you to get at me. I mean, I don’t doubt he’s planning something against Skye.” He paused. “He’s not watching you any other time?”

“Uh—” She stared at him, her mouth dry for a moment as her heart began to race. “Wait. Wait. You think Manny—you’re not kidding. There’s—Jason, there are easier ways,” she repeated. “Emily works at the hospital. Monica works there. They’re actually—” She crossed her arms again, hiding her sweaty palms. Was she really having this conversation?

“Hey.” He stepped forward, pitching his voice low. “I told you. I have guys on Manny. And I—” He grimaced. “I’d send one of my guys in to watch over you, just to make sure, but that’s—Manny would know. And so would anyone else—”

“Which is a whole other problem.” Elizabeth released a long breath. “Listen, I’m overreacting. It’s about Skye. It has to be. I’m just—she’s just talked to me twice. That’s all it is. He’s probably around her a lot more, and no one else is noticing.”

“Yeah, probably.” Jason hesitated. “I don’t like taking the chance though that he’s doing something on purpose. Promise me you won’t confront him.”

“Not unless Skye’s in danger or someone else,” Elizabeth told him. Jason scowled, but she shook her head. “Look, if he, like, pulls out a knife or goes after him where I can see him—I’m—I can call you all I want, but it won’t be fast enough. I can’t let her—or anyone—get hurt—”

“It’s not that I doubt you’re brave enough to do something—”

“Don’t say brave when you really mean stupid.”

“I didn’t say you were stupid.” He hesitated. “Reckless, maybe—”

“Oh—” Her scowl deepened. She folded her arms and arched her brow. “You’re going to want a different word.”

Jason pinched his lips together. “Elizabeth—”

“You always do this—” She took a deep breath. “You always did this,” Elizabeth corrected, a bit more softly. “I’m not stupid, Jason. I’m not reckless. I know how to take care of myself. When Manny grabbed me last fall, I kept my cool, and I got myself out of that.”

“Elizabeth—” He exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to get hurt. I know how much you care about other people. That’s all I meant. You care too much, and, sometimes, you jump in without thinking.”

“I—” She winced. “Okay. Yes, I do that.”

“That’s all I’m saying, Elizabeth.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. “Just—Look, maybe it won’t come to that.” Jason shifted. “I’m gonna go over Sonny’s ask him to do something.” He gestured to the bench. “Sit down for a minute. I don’t want anyone to overhear us.”

“Yeah, okay.” She sighed and sat down. She attempted to keep a few feet of space between them, but clearly, Jason didn’t seem to understand what she was trying to do. He slid closer, almost so that their thighs were pressed together.

This was more than she needed today. Not after that walk down memory lane with Skye.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why Manny is…” He sighed. “Still around.”

“The thought has crossed my mind,” Elizabeth said slowly, understanding that they were talking around something that Jason never ever spoke to her about. “But I figured…people are still watching him. If…he got hurt, you’d be the first…you and Sonny, I mean. So there’s no point in doing…anything…until you’ve got a reason. You know, imminent danger or something.”

Jason squinted at her. “Uh, yeah. I didn’t—I didn’t think—I mean—”

“Look, we don’t have to say what we’re talking about. We don’t need to.” She met his eyes. “But I get it, Jason. And you don’t have to worry about me…saying anything.” She stared down at her wedding band. “To anyone.”

“I—” Jason pulled back slightly. “Thanks. But…” He trailed off and frowned at her.

“Why?” Elizabeth finished. She sighed. “I know it’s insane, and I’m sure Lucky would think I’m…a bad wife, or whatever. But it’s…I’ve always known who you are, Jason. And I know what I’m doing when I call you to tell you about Manny. I’m not an idiot.”

“I never thought you were—”

“And it’s—we haven’t really had to have this conversation in a long time,” Elizabeth said after a long moment, “but you don’t have to worry about me. You can trust me, and I know that you’ll handle the Manny situation. That’s why I called you. You’re taking me seriously. I don’t want to be involved. He scares me.”

She bit her lip, broke their eye contact, and looked back out over the lake. “Honestly, I’m terrified of him. And I’m terrified he’ll hurt Skye. Or someone else. But I know I can trust you to take care of it. To care of her.”

And you,” Jason pressed. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you either. I don’t know if Manny is letting you see him on purpose, but I won’t take any chances. Not with you.”

“I know that.” She looked at him again, their eyes holding. “Some things never change.”

“No.” A corner of his mouth hitched up in a slight smile. “No, they don’t.”

“I’m sorry to interrupt.”

A flat voice from the top of the stairs broke into their conversation, and Elizabeth blinked. She drew back, first just her head, then her entire body as she slid to one end of the bench.

Jason sighed and got to his feet. “Sam.”

“Talking about me again?” Sam demanded as she sauntered down the steps. “You looking for some more gossip?” she shot at Elizabeth, who slowly stood up.

“No,” Elizabeth said calmly. “I need to go. I dropped Cam off with my grandmother,” she told Jason, “but I want to spend the rest of my day with him.”

“I’ll call you,” he told her as she walked away, crossing over to Bannister’s Wharf before dropping out of sight. He turned his attention back to his fiancée. “We weren’t talking about you.”

“Oh, then why were you all curled up?” Sam demanded. “Practically drooling all over each other—”

Jason scowled. “What does—we were talking about Manny Ruiz, and I didn’t want anyone to hear us.”

Sam blinked, and some of the flushed color left her cheeks. “Manny? Oh. Elizabeth—is she watching him for you at the hospital?”

“Not officially. But she’s passing me any info she thinks I need to know. We’re friends, Sam. And I don’t want her to get hurt while she’s trying to help.”

“Oh,” she repeated. “I’m sorry. I just—”

“Yeah, well, I need to go. I need to go talk to Sonny. I’ll see you at home.”

“Jason, wait,” Sam called.

Her words were lost on the wind as he walked away from her and didn’t look back.

Greystone Manor: Living Room

Jason was still irritated after his brief encounter with Sam and more worried about  Elizabeth than he had been already when he arrived at Sonny’s. Then he was told by Max that he had to wait in the foyer because Sonny was busy.

He was tired of Sonny ditching meetings and avoiding him. It was one thing when it was penny-ante shit like the Escobars, but Manny Ruiz was a real threat. People were in actual danger.

Jason frowned at the guard. “Didn’t you tell him what it was about?”

“You know…” Max cleared his throat, rubbed his hand over his chest, then tugged at his tie. “You know I did, but, ah, maybe I didn’t do it loud enough. Or you know, I’m not good at remembering things—”

“Max.”

The guard offered a sheepish smile. “I told him, Jase, but he said he was in the middle of something—”

Something more important than the psychopath that was currently stalking the halls of the hospital. Maybe Manny wasn’t threatening anyone Sonny gave a damn about, but if there was even the slightest chance the asshole was going to go after Skye or Elizabeth—Jason wasn’t going to let him get away with it.

Skye wasn’t part of his family, but she mattered to Emily. His grandmother had adored her. And she was still considered part of the Quartermaine family.

And Elizabeth—

Well, her protection was non-negotiable. She was taking a chance to keep them informed about Manny, and Jason wasn’t going to let her dangle in the wind. She had a little boy that depended on her.

And she just mattered. He wasn’t going to let her down.

Finally, after nearly five minutes, Sonny jerked open the foyer door and gestured for Jason to come in. Jason stalked past him as his partner dragged his hand through his hair, the usually meticulous strands disheveled.

“What the hell were you doing?” Jason demanded as he spun on his heel to glare at Sonny. “I called you twenty minutes ago. I told you it was about Manny Ruiz.”

“Yeah, but you said it wasn’t an emergency—”

“Not an imminent one, but—” Jason shook his head. “Never mind. Elizabeth told me yesterday that she caught Manny following Skye around the hospital. And then I just saw her a little while ago. She saw Manny hanging around Skye again today.”

Sonny stared at him for a long moment before arching a brow. “And? This is what you came over for? To tell me Manny is staring at a woman? I’ve seen Skye. She’s good looking.”

Jason squinted. “And she’s carrying Lorenzo Alcazar’s kid. The same guy Manny blames for his father’s death. For his brother’s death. He hates Alcazar more than he hates us. So yeah, it matters that Manny is following her around.”

“Maybe he’s looking for Alcazar’s weak spot.” Sonny shrugged as he walked past Jason to pour himself a drink. “And what is Elizabeth calling you for? She’s married to a cop. She should be bugging him.”

Jason didn’t know what to do with Sonny’s reaction. “There’s also the problem that he might be letting Elizabeth catch him on purpose.”

“Well, why would that matter? How would Manny know that would do him any good?” Sonny shook his head. “I get it. You’re worried about her. But Manny doesn’t know the two of you were friends. And that was ages ago.” He smirked as he sipped his bourbon. “There’s like five people left that remember, and none of them are our enemies.”

“Why…” Jason hesitated. “Why are you brushing this off? Even if it’s nothing, we need to stay on top of it. We’ve been wondering why Ruiz stuck around Port Charles. Maybe he’s going after Skye. And I was at the hospital last week. Manny saw me with Elizabeth—”

“Yeah? That’s weird. What’re you doing hanging around a cop’s wife?” Sonny wanted to know. He sat on the sofa, leaning back and lounging. “Did you break up with Sam, and I missed it?”

“No—but Lucky already told her there’s nothing he can do about it. Elizabeth is worried. She knows Skye. And Skye is pregnant.”

“Tell Elizabeth to stay out of it. And Skye can get Alcazar to protect her. It’s not our problem. Manny comes for us, that’s different. But we don’t need to be bringing problems down on us right now. Not when things are running smoothly.”

“You mean because the Escobars are sticking to Courtland Street? You think that’ll last?” Jason scoffed. “And if Manny goes after Skye, people are gonna notice. Maybe he’ll come after us next.”

“And maybe he’s just hanging around for revenge. Look, if it bothers you so much, but another guy at the hospital. Maybe someone to just follow Elizabeth around. You seem to be mostly worried about her.” Sonny lifted his brows, then stood back up. “Is there something I should know there? Why are you hanging around her again? I repeat. She’s a cop’s wife, and her loyalties are different now. How do you know she’s not trying to get you to do something Lucky can arrest you for?”

“Are you…” The word crazy lingered on Jason’s tongue, but he swallowed it before he said it. “That’s not something Elizabeth would do. She came to me, Sonny. And I don’t like the idea of Manny using her. Yeah, most people don’t know—” He hesitated. “Most people don’t remember—”

He simply didn’t know how to put it into words. People didn’t know that he and Elizabeth had been close? That she’d once been the best way to get to him? For several years, only she, Emily, and Michael had mattered to him.

“Most people don’t remember,” Jason said finally. “But most isn’t no one. And all Manny has to do is ask the right person.”

“So, stay away from Elizabeth.” Sonny shrugged. “I’m not saying you’re wrong about Manny going after Skye. I’m saying I don’t know what you want me to do. We agreed that going after Manny while the PCPD is still watching him so closely will just bring crap on us we don’t need. Right now, he’s laying low.”

“So what? We wait for him to hurt someone—”

“I’m not in the business of saving people who don’t matter to me,” Sonny said flatly. “Skye is Alcazar’s problem. Not mine. Elizabeth gives a damn so much, maybe she should call him.”

“Fine.” Jason waited a moment before he turned to leave. “I don’t know what the hell has been distracting you lately, but I need you to get it together.”

“What does that mean?” Sonny demanded.

“It means that you’re not paying attention. You broke at least two promises to be with the boys, and you haven’t been showing up to meetings with me.”

Jason shook his head. “Skye doesn’t matter to you, fine. But she matters to people in my life. To Emily, to my grandmother—she didn’t ask for a psycho to target her. I’m not going to abandon her—or Elizabeth—because they don’t matter to you. Manny Ruiz and his crazy family came to Port Charles because of us. Because of Alcazar. That makes it our problem.”

“Then go solve it. What do you need me for?”

Jason didn’t answer that question out loud as he left Sonny in his living room and left the estate. But he was starting to ask himself that same question.

Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Living Room

“Cameron, for the last time, you are not supposed to climb the walls,” Elizabeth said as she dragged her toddler off the back of the chair he’d pushed against the wall. “What did you think you were going to do?”

“I tape my hands.” Cameron showed her his little palms and grinned. “I climb like Biderman!”

“You fall like a human boy—” Elizabeth grimaced as someone knocked on her door. She tossed Cameron onto the sofa as he giggled. “You try to climb those walls again, buddy, I’m gonna tape you to your bed.”

She opened the door, frowning when she saw Sam in the hallway. “Hey. I—” She frowned. She didn’t even know Sam knew where she lived. “Hi.”

“Look, Jason told me you’re helping him with Manny.” Sam pursed her lips. “That’s fine. I’m glad. I hate him. But—” She looked away, then met Elizabeth’s eyes again. “But that’s all, okay? I don’t want you talking to him about me.”

“We—we haven’t—”

“Really? Because I know you know.” Sam folded her arms. “Don’t tell anyone.”

“I wasn’t going to—” Elizabeth shook her head. “Sam, we haven’t talked about it since that first day—and I’m—I’m sorry. I never would—”

“Whatever. You and Jason aren’t friends. You weren’t before any of this, and you’re married to a cop. So you should just remember that.”

“Uh, okay—” Elizabeth frowned as Sam stalked away.

“Mommy? Who that?” Cameron tugged on her pant leg. “Can I have popsick?”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth shook her head, then smiled down at her son. “Yeah, let’s go get some Popsicles.” She closed the door and put Sam out of her mind entirely.

May 11, 2020

This entry is part 4 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

I don’t care what you think,
As long as it’s about me
The best of us can find happiness, in misery
I don’t care what you think,
As long as it’s about me
The best of us can find happiness, in misery
I Don’t Care, Fall Out Boy


Saturday, March 18, 2006

 General Hospital: ICU

“Elizabeth, have you seen Alan around?”

Elizabeth glanced up from her chart to find Skye Chandler-Quartermaine standing in front of her, clutching some folders with her pretty red hair twisted up in a ponytail.

“No, he’s not usually up here this time of day. I can have him paged—”

“Oh, they said he was on the surgical floor.” Skye sighed, setting the folders down. She braced a hand at the small of her back, wincing. “How is it that my back is the first part that of me hurts? I’m barely even showing.”

Elizabeth managed a smile. “For me, it was my feet. I feel like they grew a size overnight.” She glanced down at her feet. “I’m not sure they’ve ever felt right again.”

“All the things they never tell you about being pregnant,” Skye sighed. “Anyway, I’m supposed to meet Alan about the charity auction he asked me to organize. To raise money for patients affected by the virus and having trouble paying the costs.”

“And he didn’t answer your page?” Elizabeth raised her brows and clicked into her OR rotation schedule screen on the computer. “Oh. It looks like he scrubbed in to observe surgery with Noah Drake. That’s weird.”

“Maybe he forgot I was coming by.” Skye sighed, lifted the folders again. “Well, I’ll leave a message with his secretary. I know he said he was nervous about Noah getting back into surgery, so maybe he just wanted to be there.”

“Still.” Elizabeth shrugged. “I’ll keep an eye out for him and let him know he missed you.”

“Thanks.” Skye waved as she stepped onto the elevator. As Elizabeth looked down at her chart, she caught sight of the tan uniform the hospital janitors wore as someone ducked back down a hallway.

Elizabeth hesitated, then went towards the hallway only to see Manny Ruiz as he disappeared down a service stairwell. Had he…been watching Skye? Why? And if he hadn’t been, why had he rushed away?

Uneasy, Elizabeth returned to the nurse’s station and to her charts. She knew that Manny hadn’t done anything to make Jason’s men suspicious yet, but she couldn’t shake the way she felt when she caught him looking at her—as if he was just laughing at them all.

Jake’s: Bar

 “Hey, man.” Jesse Beaudry clapped a hand on Lucky’s shoulder as he took a seat on the barstool next to his partner. “How’s therapy going?” He ordered a beer from Coleman behind the bar. “You get a return date yet?”

Lucky grimaced. “No.” He tossed back the shot of whiskey he’d ordered just before Jesse had arrived. “Drake isn’t going to give me one until I can pass a goddamn physical.” He looked at his friend. “Give it to me straight. How much longer is Mac gonna hold my position on the squad?”

Jesse hesitated, distracted himself by taking a long pull from his Budweiser. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “We’re swamped, you know. The Escobars are starting to get restless. Mac is under a lot of pressure from the mayor—”

“Jesse—”

“Maybe a few more weeks. Hey, look, they can’t fire you—”

“No, but I’ll get stuck on desk duty for months, even if I get a return date.” Lucky scowled. “Therapy isn’t working,” he admitted. “I’m trying to double it up, but I can’t do it as much as I want. Elizabeth’s grandmother can only pick Cameron up twice a week. I have to do it the other four days she works.”

Jesse frowned. “Why can’t Elizabeth get someone else to do it? What about the kid’s real dad?”

“His real dad is dead,” Lucky said. With a sneer, he added, “You should look him up sometime — Zander Smith. He died in a shootout with the PCPD. He never even met Cameron.”

“How’d she hook up with him?” Jesse said, furrowing his brow. “He doesn’t seem like her type.”

“Oh, she’s got a thing about criminals,” Lucky muttered. “She screwed around with Jason Morgan, too, before we were married.” He nodded at Coleman to order another shot. “I’m the outlier.”

“Oh.” Jesse cleared his throat. “Well, listen, man, just do what you can in therapy. I’ll try to get Mac to hold off. But you gotta put your recovery first. Tell Elizabeth to take some time off or something. Change her shift. Marriage is supposed to be a compromise, right?” He shrugged. “Why should you have to lose your chance to get back on the job because her kid needs a babysitter?”

Lucky winced. “Listen, it’s—I’ve been Cameron’s stepfather for almost a year. He’s not even two. I’m the only father he’s ever known—”

“And what kind of dad are you gonna be if you get stuck on desk duty?” Jesse pushed. “You’re telling me Elizabeth won’t put you first for a little while so you can all get back on track? Seriously?”

Lucky exhaled slowly, then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. It’s hard right now, but Elizabeth has always had my back. And her supervisor loves her. She’ll do us the favor. Thanks, man.”

Greystone Manor: Foyer

Jason was already annoyed when he walked into the foyer that night — he’d learned from the guards at the entrance that Sonny wasn’t home yet. It had taken Jason three days to catch Sonny on the phone and set up a meeting to talk about the Escobars, and now it looked like Sonny was ditching him. Again

He frowned when he saw Rocco, Carly’s guard, lounging in the foyer with an irritated look on his face. “What are you doing here? Where’s—” He grimaced.

“Oh, that’s real nice.”

Jason turned to find Carly Corinthos, Sonny’s ex-wife and Jason’s sort of best friend, leaning against the doorway to the living room. She raised a brow. “You don’t look happy to see me.”

“I’m not. You only come over here to yell at Sonny, and I’m not in the mood for this tonight—”

“Well, don’t worry.” Carly rolled her eyes and stalked into the living room. Jason followed, closing the doors behind them. She poured herself a glass of water from Sonny’s minibar. “He’s not here.”

“Yeah, they told me down at the guardhouse, but we’re meeting tonight, so he should be here eventually—”

“Sure.” Carly rolled her eyes. “Just like he promised Michael and Morgan he’d have dinner with us tonight, then didn’t show up.” She pressed her lips together. “You know, it’s one thing to dick you over, but to break a promise to the boys?”

Jason frowned. Sonny didn’t usually do either of those things unless—he closed his eyes. “Damn it.”

“Oh, man, the last time Sonny was blowing you and the boys off, he was bouncing with his last mattress buddy.” Carly winced. “I’m not in the mood for this. The boys both keep asking for Courtney, I’m trying to help Jax with little John—I do not have time for the car crash of Sonny’s love life.”

“Carly—”

She jabbed a finger at him. “It’s your job to clean up after Sonny.”

“It’s really not,” Jason said flatly. “I don’t have time for this, either.”

“Oh, right—” Carly pursed her lips. “Speaking of Sonny’s mattress buddies, how is Sam doing? Her brother died, right?”

Jason shot her a dirty look, but Carly just stared at him blandly. “She’s handling it.”

“Hey, I indicated an interest in someone other than myself. I’m trying—” She tapped her foot. “Who do you think it is? Because the last time Sonny was hiding his romantic interests, it was because we were still married and he was trying really hard not to lose custody of the boys—”

“Plus half of everything he owned,” Jason reminded her.

Carly smiled sweetly at him. “If Sonny didn’t think I was owed half of everything, then he should have asked for a prenup. Which reminds me — you better get Justus to take care of that for you. You don’t want Sam taking you for everything—”

“Carly—”

“Hey, I know what I’m talking about. It took a lot to get me out of my prenup with AJ—” She shook her head. “In retrospect, Sonny really should have seen my demands coming. He helped me out of the first marriage.”

“Yeah, I mentioned that.”

“I’m going home to the boys. I’m done waiting around for Sonny Corinthos. You tell him this is the last time he’s going to break a promise to the boys—”

“The last time?” Jason frowned. “He’s done it before? I mean, recently?”

“Last week.” Carly sighed. “I know I like to snark about Sonny—and torture him. But the boys—I know you and Courtney broke up, and it’s fine. But they loved her. Tell Sonny I’m not going to let him disappoint them anymore.”

“I’ll talk to him. Carly—” He touched her elbow as she left. “I’m sorry. I should have checked in on you. How are you holding up?”

“I’m dealing. Having Courtney’s son, taking care of him—” She flashed him a smile. “It’s helping. And the boys love their cousin. I just—I don’t want to make them part of this war with Sonny. He’s not leaving me any choice. I’m not going through this again with him.”

“I get it, Carly. I’ll talk to him.” Jason grimaced. “Eventually.”

Carly folded her arms, narrowed her eyes. “What’s wrong? You think I can’t tell when you’ve got a bug up your ass.” She lifted her chin. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Jason said. “I’ll talk to Sonny—”

“Look, I know—” Carly exhaled in a huff. “I know I said it was your job to clean up after Sonny, but, Jase, you know I don’t mean it.”

Jason looked at her. “Carly—”

“I’m tired,” she admitted. “I’m tired of this fight with him. Every time he gets distracted by someone or something else, the boys get put through this.” She met his eyes. “Aren’t you tired, too?”

“Carly—”

“It’s not your job to clean up after Sonny all the time. Or me,” she continued with a grimace. “I just—you look tired, too. And you won’t tell me what’s wrong. You never do.” Carly hesitated. “You’re not Superman. You know that, right?”

“I’ll talk to you later, Carly.”

Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Living Room

Elizabeth dragged her hand through her hair and sighed as she cradled the receiver in the crook of the neck and cheek so she could finish tucking Cameron’s toys away.

“No, Gram. I understand. I wish I could come, too. No, really—I’ll figure something out with Cam—”

As Audrey again apologized for the short notice, Elizabeth sighed and grimaced as Lucky came through the door, leaving heavily on his cane. “Okay, Gram. Yeah. Okay. I’ll talk to you later. Have a good trip.”

She hung the phone up and picked up the cane from the floor where Lucky had let it drop to the floor after he’d sat down. “How was therapy?”

“Same,” Lucky grunted as he laid back on the sofa, putting his feet up with a wince. “Nothing changed. Still hurts like hell.” He lifted his head up slightly as Elizabeth finished putting away Cameron’s toys and moved on to folding the laundry she’d picked up from the laundromat that morning. “What did Audrey want?”

“She’s going to Memphis next week,” Elizabeth told him. “And she’s gonna stay for like a month.”

“A month?” Lucky sat up, then scowled. “Who’s gonna pick Cameron up? Why is she going now?”

“Steven just got engaged,” Elizabeth told him with a bit of a wistful sigh. She’d like to meet her brother’s fiancée, but there was no time off for her, and Steven probably wasn’t going to come to Port Charles anytime soon. “Gram wanted to go down and spend some time with him. My parents are supposed to fly in, too, and Gram hasn’t seen them in a couple of years.” She laughed absently as she folded one of Cameron’s shirts. “I haven’t seen them since I moved here.”

Lucky eyed her with a strangely panicked look. “You can’t go. You don’t even like your family, and we can’t afford it.”

Elizabeth frowned at him. What a strange thing to say. “I—” She blinked at him. “No, I can’t go. I was just…thinking about them, that’s all. They haven’t even met Cameron yet. At the rate we’re going, they probably never will.” It didn’t bother her that her family was so uninvolved. Not really. But it might have been nice to go for a weekend just to catch up. She’d always liked her brother.

“Anyway, I’m not sure what to do about Cameron. I work better hours, but I still work until six or seven most nights,” she pointed out. “And if we leave him in daycare past four, they charge double the hourly rate.”

“So you’ll have to cut back hours at work,” Lucky said. He hauled himself to his feet and shuffled into the kitchen, where he pulled out a beer. She grimaced as he pulled off the top. He really shouldn’t be mixing alcohol with pain medication, but she knew better than to tell him that. “I was going to talk to you about it anyway. I need to double up on my therapy sessions, so I can’t pick up Cameron anymore. You need to change your shift or cut back—”

Elizabeth held up her hand. “Whoa. That’s—that’s not an option. I can’t cut my hours, Lucky. I just transferred upstairs. I can probably move some of my shifts around and get out early, but then I’m still dropping him off early at a daycare, which is still going to cost money.” She hesitated. “You know the best thing—at least for a few weeks—”

“I’m not rescheduling my rehab—”

“You don’t have to. You can go earlier,” Elizabeth pointed out. “Mac told you that you could go to therapy during your work hours—”

“And have them carry me, pay me to do nothing?” Lucky glared at her. “You’re always complaining we don’t have any damn money, and now you want me to give up what little I do make?”

“It’ll cost us more than you make to keep him in daycare,” Elizabeth told him. Her stomach twisted as she continued folding clothes. She was trying very hard not to think about the fact that she was practically begging Lucky to take care of the little boy he’d promised to love as his own. “It would just be—”

“You think your job is better than mine?” Lucky demanded. “I’m a cop. I save lives, damn it! You just clean up piss and shit.”

And that was absolutely it. She’d had enough.

She shot her to her feet, incensed. “Yeah, the PCPD did a bang-up job with Manny Ruiz. I have to see that psycho every damn day! But tell me how you save lives?”

Lucky took a long swig of his beer, then dragged the back of his hand over his mouth, his glare deepening into something like that looked like hatred. “Oh, I bet your fucking lover boy Jason Morgan could take care of him, right? You’re always picking him over me!”

Elizabeth threw up her hands. “You know sometimes you’re just impossible! Jason has nothing to do with this! I told you Manny makes me uncomfortable at work. I asked you if Mac was gonna do anything about him working there—and he’s done nothing—”

“Nothing he can do,” Lucky bit out. “The system let him out. It’s not perfect, but it’s what we got. And he hasn’t done anything, so maybe the tumor thing is real—”

“Except today I saw him following Skye Quartermaine,” she shot back, planting her hands on her hips. “Mac can’t even get someone to follow him around the damn hospital?”

“Oh, come on, was he actually following her?” Lucky demanded. “You’re just pissed because I won’t drop everything to fix a problem that has nothing to do with me—”

Elizabeth stared at him for a long moment, her fury draining as quickly as it had risen. “Cameron has nothing to do with you?”

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just—” Lucky growled under his breath as he tossed his empty bottle into the trash. “It’s not my job to pick him up and change my whole life around. If I weren’t here, you’d have to pay the extra money, so just do it. I need my job, too, Elizabeth. And I’m getting tired of being expected to sacrifice my time so you can save a little money.”

She didn’t know what to say to that. She didn’t understand how he could stand there as Cameron’s stepfather—the only father Cameron had ever known—and pretend that refusing to pick him up from daycare wasn’t part of a bigger problem.

“So, it was just a lie then,” she said softly.

Lucky hesitated, then frowned. “What?”

“When you asked me to marry you, you promised that Cameron would be ours. That we’d be a family. But he’s still my problem to you.” Elizabeth folded her arms, looked at him. “You said you’d love him like your own.”

“I—I do.” Lucky shook his head. “Look, I’m sorry. I’m just—God, Elizabeth, I’m just so frustrated.” He collapsed onto the sofa, dragging both of his hands through his hair. “If I don’t get back to work soon, off the desk, the department isn’t legally obligated to hold my job open with my old squad. I could be permanently replaced. Stuck on the desk forever. I need to prove myself to Mac. I need all the therapy sessions I can get. And it’s not like…I mean, your grandmother promised us she’d pitch in. She’s the one screwing us over, not me. I’m just—I’m not handling it well, okay?”

“Okay.” Elizabeth sighed, looked away. She didn’t want to argue about this anymore. Not when she was afraid of where the conversation would go. “Let me make a few calls. I’ll talk to Epiphany. Maybe she can—do something.”

“Yeah.” Lucky brightened. He got to his feet and took her hands in his. “Epiphany loves you. You know that. It’s hard right now, and I’m terrible to be around. I know that.” He brushed his lips over her forehead. “But as soon as I get back to work, it’s all going to be okay. I promise. I’ll make it up to you.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” she murmured, squeezing her eyes closed and praying for a miracle. Because if Lucky was off active duty much longer, she might go insane.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

 Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Jason scrubbed his hands over his face as Sam sullenly sunk into the corner of the sofa, reading the Port Charles Sun. For nearly a week, they’d managed to avoid speaking to one another. Not since she’d stormed out the night he’d told her about the maternity test.

They hadn’t talked about the test or anything else.

Jason opened his mouth to try to say something — to apologize again or maybe to defend himself. Even if he’d knew now he was wrong, he still felt a bit…irritated that she refused to even try to understand that he’d just been trying to help.

But before he could decide exactly what he would do, Sam’s cell phone rang. She leaned over and dug it out of the pocket of her sweat pants. “Yeah? Hey, Paulie.”

He pressed his lips together, turned back to his paperwork, trying to hide his scowl. He listened as she talked with the man who had asked her to go back to being a con artist again.

“Yeah? Okay. Yeah. No, I get it. And you’re right, it’s not like I need a lot to do this. Not exactly rocket science.” Sam laughed, the happiest sound she’d made since her brother had died.

He sighed, sat back in his chair. Maybe this didn’t need to be a big deal. Maybe she’d just do this one thing, and it would make her feel like herself again.

But there was something about the whole thing that made him…uncomfortable. Like an itch between his shoulders he couldn’t quite scratch. And she’d told him she would do the job in exchange for information about her past.

But they had the information now. Sam knew who Natasha Davis really was. She could just ask Alexis what happened. Why she’d been put up for adoption, how she’d ended up with Cody McCall, where her father was—who he was—

Sam didn’t need to do this job. Which meant she wanted to.

And if she wanted to do it once, maybe she’d want it again.

“Okay. Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you then, Paulie.”

He heard Sam get to her feet and walk towards him, her feet quiet on the hardwood floor. “That was my dad’s friend, Paulie.”

Jason looked at her carefully blank face and sighed. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“He wanted to let me know the date of the job.” She held up her phone, then lifted her chin. “And I’m gonna go. It’s in two weeks.”

“Okay,” Jason said. He got to his feet and walked away from the desk towards the closet.

“Is that all you’re going to say?” Sam demanded when he said nothing else. She scowled. “You don’t have an opinion?”

“What do you want me to say?” He turned back to look at her. Shrugged with a casualness, he didn’t feel. “You’re an adult, Sam. I don’t tell you what to do.”

“But you’re not happy about it, are you?”

He sighed, rolled his head back to look at the ceiling, before meeting her eyes again. “No. You don’t need to do this job. This guy—he doesn’t have any answers you can’t get by just calling Alexis—”

“Shut up—” Sam stabbed a finger at him. “You don’t get to talk about her. Not after what you did.”

“Fine.” Jason crossed to the closet and yanked his jacket out of it. “Then we don’t have anything to say.”

“Where are you going?” Sam darted forward, sliding in front of the door and blocking him just as he reached for the doorknob. “You’re just leaving?”

“What am I supposed to say? You don’t want to talk about Alexis, and you already know what I think about you pulling a job—”

“No. You’re dancing around it, but, no, I don’t know what you think.” She crossed her arms and glared at him. “Come on. Tell me.”

“You want me to tell you not to do it so you can fight with me and have a new reason to be pissed with me.” He shook his head. “I’m not going to be the bad guy. You’re an adult, Sam,” Jason repeated. “Do what you want.”

“I just—” Sam fisted her hands at her sides. “I don’t get why this bothers you so much. You’re in the mob, Jason. You smuggle all kinds of crap back and forth over the border. You break the law every day, so can’t I do the same?”

“It’s different,” Jason said finally. “But if you need to do this to make yourself feel better, then you do what you have to do. It’s not up to me.”

Sam scowled and moved away from the door, so he could open it. He turned back to face her. “I’m sorry about Alexis. I’m sorry about the way I handled it. I was trying to protect you, but I was wrong. But don’t pretend you’re gonna take this job for answers. You want to do it. Don’t lie to me or yourself.”

He hesitated, but she said nothing, her dark eyes glinting with irritation.

So he finally told her the truth. “No, I don’t want you to do this. Because this won’t be the only time. You’re good at it, remember? You told me so yourself.”

“So?”

“So, remember the cons you were best at, Sam, and then tell me why I don’t want you to go back to it.”

He closed the door behind him.

Kelly’s: Parking Lot

Elizabeth scowled as she approached her car and saw the back tire had finally given up on her. The little warning signal had been flickering on her dashboard for weeks, warning her that her tire pressure was low, but she kept putting getting it fixed and now—

Now she was stuck at Kelly’s, the quick lunch she’d wanted to grab growing cold in the brown paper bag in her hands. She looked back at her tire, down at her lunch, then trudged back to the courtyard where she dumped the bag on the table and started to unpack it.

She wasn’t wasting Ruby’s chili by sitting in the parking lot waiting for someone to come help, though she didn’t know who she’d call. Lucky was at physical therapy, her grandmother was with Cameron at her house, and…

Well, her options were limited. Nearly everyone she knew was working at General Hospital today—the same place she was due back within the hour. She grimaced. So much for enjoying her lunch hour for a change.

She heard the motorcycle before she saw its owner. Jason ducked through the gate that separated Kelly’s from the parking lot and paused, seeing her with her lunch spread out on the table. “Oh. Hey.”

“Hey.” She brightened. “I don’t suppose you have, like, any air pumps or something hiding on your bike, do you?”

“Uh, no—” Jason squinted, then pulled out the chair and sat across from her. “Why?”

“I procrastinated on routine car maintenance, and I have a flat. I’m just making a mental list while I eat my lunch before it gets cold.” She rolled her eyes. “You know, I’m more organized than I used to be, but like all of my energy is making sure Cameron is okay. Or my patients. I just don’t have the space to worry about my car.”

Jason smirked as he pulled out his phone and pressed a number, obviously calling someone on speed dial. “Hey, Max, you at the warehouse? Can you find someone with an air pump to fix a flat at Kelly’s? No, for a car—Yeah, okay, I’ll see you when you get here.”

“Thanks.” Elizabeth shook her head. “Normally, I’d argue with you about how I can do things for myself, but you know, I’m just—” She blew out an exasperated breath. “I’m too tired, to be honest, and I still have to get back to work.”

“Well, I’m glad I stopped for coffee.” He shifted in his seat. “You okay? I mean, is there a reason you’re tired, or is it just…” Jason raised his brows, waiting.

“Well, I’m getting used to my new job. I haven’t been able to scrub in on a surgery yet, but I’m learning about the paperwork and post-op. I mean, I knew all of it before, but now I get to do pre-op stuff, too. And it’s fun working with Patrick and Robin more. And Epiphany.” She sipped her soda. “But it’s a lot of stuff I need to get a handle on before Patrick will let me scrub in. And Cameron—” She grinned. “He’s into everything. He’s hitting that age — he’ll be two this year and he’s—I mean, he’s been walking for a year, but I think he’s figured out how to run.”

Elizabeth finally stopped, then laughed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just go on and on like that. It’s just—”

No one who actually knew her had asked if she was okay in a long time.

“What about you?” Elizabeth bit her lip. “It’s none of my business, I know, but I guess I’ve been worried since you left the hospital last week.”

“Uh, yeah.” Jason scratched the corner of his eyebrow. “Well, you were right. Sam was angry.”

Elizabeth waited, but he didn’t say anything else. Fair enough. They weren’t friends like that anymore. She might tell him about her job or talk about Cameron, but she wasn’t going to tell him about her fight with Lucky or search for cheaper daycare, so why would he open up about his own relationship issues?

Asking him for help with a flat tire wasn’t the same thing as opening her heart up to him and pouring out all her troubles. That wasn’t who she was anymore.

“Well, I hope she’s okay,” Elizabeth said, finally. She paused. “There is something, I guess—I don’t know, I’m probably overreacting, and Lucky said I was seeing things, but it’s about Manny.”

Jason raised his brows. “Yeah? Did he say something to you? None of my guys said anything.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth sat back. “Then I guess I’m wrong. I mean, if they’re watching him and he hasn’t done anything, then…” She shrugged, picked up her soda.

Jason frowned, tilting his head to the side. “He hasn’t done anything, no,” he said, “but Beto told me Manny seemed to be…all over the hospital. Like he was trying to learn the layout. He thinks he might be looking for places to hide. Whether he wants to smuggle something in or out, or just have a place for himself, he doesn’t know. I don’t know what that means, but it made Beto uncomfortable.”

When she didn’t say anything, he lifted his brows. “Elizabeth, you work at the hospital every day. You know that place better than my guys do. What did you see?”

“It’s probably nothing, but Skye was at the hospital yesterday and—I don’t know, it just felt like Manny was watching her. I mean, I don’t know why he would—”

“Actually…” Jason hesitated, leaned back in the chair, looking a bit disturbed. “No, that makes sense. She’s pregnant, right? And seeing Lorenzo Alcazar.” He grimaced. “Manny…blames Alcazar…for his brother and father’s deaths last fall.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth blinked. “I hadn’t—I forgot about that. Should I warn her? Or—I don’t even think she had anyone with her. Why would Alcazar let her go to the hospital alone?”

“I don’t know, but if he is watching her, then that’s probably his motive. Manny Ruiz is…he’s—” Jason paused. “I mean, you know his reputation. But he earned it. He’s…known for his violence against women.” He looked away. “At least three women he’s been involved with have…disappeared.”

“Oh,” she repeated softly. “Well….that’s…” Terrifying.

Jason leaned forward, his eyes on her. “I have two guys at the hospital,” he reminded her. “Beto is on Manny at all times. And Vic used to work on the pediatrics floor with you and Emily. I put him there to watch you both. I’m trying to get Alan to let me put someone on the surgery floor with you—”

“Thank you,” she said. She reached across the table to touch his hand briefly. “For looking out for us. I’m not worried about me. I’m worried about Skye. She’s pregnant—and—” Elizabeth grimaced. She couldn’t really explain it. “And I just—I had to tell someone.”

“I’ll let Beto and Vic know to keep their eyes out for that. Remember, don’t get involved.” He grimaced. “I was gonna tell you to let me know if you see something else, but you’re…I mean, you’re married to a cop—”

“I tried to tell Lucky about Manny and Skye. He told me there’s nothing he can do. So…” Elizabeth lifted a shoulder. “You know, I believe in the system. Most of the time. But the system isn’t built for someone who twists everything like Manny Ruiz. So if I see something else, you’ll be the first person I call.”

“But stay out of it,” he reminded her as he saw Max approach them. “C’mon, let’s go fix your car.”

May 8, 2020

This entry is part 3 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

In every loss in every lie
In every truth that you deny
And each regret and each goodbye
Was a mistake too great to hide
And your voice was all I heard
That I get what I deserve
New Divide, Linkin Park


Tuesday, March 14, 2006

 General Hospital: Break Room

Elizabeth grimaced as she stirred some sugar into her cup of coffee, then sipped it. Wincing at the awful taste, she turned to her best friend with a shake of her head. “You’re the daughter of the chief of staff. Make them buy a better coffee pot.”

“I asked Dad,” Emily Bowen-Quartermaine said with a sigh, “but he says terrible coffee builds character. Apparently, since he suffered as a resident, we all have to.”

“I remember when we were younger, splitting our packets of hot chocolate, swearing we’d never be like our parents and addicted to coffee.” Elizabeth took a seat at the table, then stifled a yawn. This was her last break until the end of her shift, which wasn’t for another two hours.

“Yeah, we were young and dumb. Coffee is how I get through the day and night.” Emily pursed her lip as she sat down. “You gonna tell me why my brother was at the hospital?”

“What?” Elizabeth frowned at her. “How did—”

“Gossip travels fast, and you know, there are plenty of people around here that love to gossip about my brother.” Emily leaned forward. “And some of them were working here seven years ago. You know…when Jason and Nikolas got into a fistfight—”

“Oh, God…” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “So what?”

“So, a few of those nurses saw the two of you looking pretty tight, disappearing into a conference room for nearly a half-hour before walking him to the elevator, all smiles.” Emily lifted her brows. “Is there something I should know?”

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose at the strange comment. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know. You guys worked together during the quarantine—”

“Two telephone conversations, through your phone, and then I helped him and Carly with the vaccine.” She rolled her eyes. “Emily—what’s going on with you? Last week, you ditched three shifts, you’re still avoiding my phone calls—” She raised her brows. “And now, what, you think I’m having an affair with your brother?”

“You say my brother like you didn’t use to have the hots for him. I’m just—like I said, people have a long memory. And you know, that Christmas party was infamous.” Emily leaned forward. “And you’re not saying no.”

“Well, this is me saying no. For one thing, I’m married, and for another, he’s engaged. And also, you know better than to listen to gossip.” Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably. “Why would people—this is so stupid. He just came to ask me something. I did him a quick favor, and that’s it. And it wasn’t a half-hour—ugh, this is how all that crap got started when Lucky came home. Everyone rushing to tell him I’m some kind of tramp—”

“Well, that’s not the way I remember it,” Emily offered. “And you weren’t a tramp back then. Lucky was supposed to be dead. He’d been gone for, God…” She sighed. “More than six months. I never blamed you for moving on, Liz. Just for not telling me.”

Elizabeth frowned. There was a lot about her friend’s statement that rubbed her the wrong way. “There was nothing to tell.”

“Sure.”

“There wasn’t—and there still isn’t. It wasn’t a half-hour,” Elizabeth repeated. “And I noticed that you’re ignoring how weird you’ve been lately.” Inspired, she continued, “That’s why we were talking. We were talking about you.”

“Me?” Emily pressed her hand to her chest, then shook her head. “Why? Why?” Her voice changed, a thin line of tension laying underneath it. “What about me?”

“You’ve been dodging his calls. He’s been trying to check in with you since the quarantine lifted, and you haven’t been interested.” Elizabeth hesitated. “And you ditched meeting with him about Manny. So I guess we were comparing notes.”

“And what conclusion did you come to?” Emily asked testily.

“None. I told him the quarantine took a lot out of both of us. All of us. I mean, we were in here trying to save lives. He was out there trying to find a vaccine. It was a lot, and we’re—” She waved her hand in the air. “We’re all trying to adjust. He gets it, Em. He was just worried about you, is all. You’re the one thing we’ve always had in common.”

“Fine. Just…” Emily shrugged. “Is that the favor he wanted?”

“The favor was separate.” Elizabeth sighed. “Do me a favor — if you hear nurses gossiping again, can you just…stop it? I’m married to a cop. The last thing I need is for Lucky to be here and overhear this crap. He already hates Jason and Sonny. Jason and I aren’t as close as we used to be, but we’re friendly, and I don’t want to have that argument with Lucky.”

“I guess, but wasn’t Lucky here?”

“He was—”

Elizabeth looked up as Patrick and Robin stepped into the break room, deep into another playful fight about how they’d spend their day next off together. “Hey—I was hoping to run into you,” she said to Patrick.

“Yeah? You enjoying your last shift down here in the dregs?” Patrick wiggled his brows. “You’re all mine tomorrow.”

Robin whacked him in the chest. “Turn it off, doofus. She’s married.”

“That’s why he flirts with me,” Elizabeth teased. “I’m safe.”

Patrick rolled his eyes. “Don’t ruin my reputation, Spencer.”

Robin snorted as she poured herself a cup of coffee. “Can’t get any worse.”

“Anyway,” Elizabeth interrupted before the two of them could continue snarking at each other. “I wasn’t able to catch Lucky before he left. How did his appointment go?”

Patrick hesitated. “I’m not sure if I should—”

“Oh, come on, she’s his wife and emergency medical contact,” Emily reminded the doctor. “What’s the big deal?”

“Nothing. I guess—I mean, he’ll probably want to be the one to tell you—and now I’ve worried you.” Patrick grimaced. “Fine. I told him that the return to work date Tony gave him before he got sick isn’t going to work anymore. He needs to get back into a full physical therapy routine, push out a return date for at least a month. We’ll need to consider surgery if he doesn’t show any improvement in physical therapy or if the MRI results haven’t improved.”

Elizabeth sighed, slumping in her chair. Surgery. Which might put him out of commission for another four or five months. “I was worried that might be the case. I knew he was in denial, but…God. That’s a lot.”

“Yeah, well, he’s not my biggest fan right now, but I have to do what’s best for him long-term. Putting him back on duty before he’s ready—it’s not doing him or his partner any favors, right?” Patrick sighed. “Sorry, Liz.”

“No, I appreciate you doing your best by him. We’ll…” She forced a smile on her face. “We’ll get through this. We’ve already gotten through the last few months. What’s another few more?”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

 Sam was ready to launch back into the argument as soon as Jason came home that night. She’d heard the key in the lock and got to her feet, bracing herself. No man was going to tell her what to do, especially someone who was every inch the criminal she was.

But when Jason walked in, some of Sam’s ire faded. He looked…worried. His brow was furrowed, and his jaw was clenched.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Did something happen…” She folded her arms. “Something with Manny? Is that what the call was about?”

“No.” Jason shook his head. “No, there’s nothing new with Manny. I’m sorry. I—” He took a deep breath. “Look, I should have said something last week when Stan gave us the report from the adoption records, but I guess…I just wanted to make sure. Or maybe I really just wanted to be wrong…” He drew out a piece of paper that was folded into three parts.

“Wrong about what? We didn’t get anything useful from the adoption records. Not even after Stan hacked them.” She folded her arms. “All we learned was that the woman never existed–

“I—thought I recognized the name. Natasha Davis.” He met her eyes. “Alexis was born Natasha Cassadine. She changed her name after Helena killed her mother. To protect herself.”

Everything simply stopped. She heard the words, saw his mouth forming the sounds, but she had to…

No. There was no way…

Of all the women in the world…

It couldn’t be…

“What—” Her mouth felt dry as Sam forced the words. “What are you saying?”

“I didn’t—I didn’t want to—if it wasn’t true—so I did a DNA test.” He extended the paper, but Sam didn’t look at it. Didn’t reach for it.

“You thought you knew who my mother was, and you looked into it without me.” Her ears were buzzing, and Sam couldn’t quite form a coherent thought. Couldn’t even begin to process the horror of what he was actually saying.

No, better to focus on the crime. Not the results. “You ran a DNA test without me? What, did you send my spit away to one of those stupid labs—”

“I didn’t want to wait that long, so I asked a friend at the hospital to run it. No names.” He hesitated. “Sam—”

“And you’re telling me which means—”

Her knees buckled as Sam sank back onto the sofa. “Oh, God. You’re telling me,” she repeated. “Which means the results—no. No, this isn’t possible, okay? It’s just not. There’s no way in hell that Alexis Davis is my mother—” Her stomach lurched even as she said the words. The woman who had browbeaten her until she nearly died—until her daughter had died. The woman who’d lived instead of Danny.

The woman who had set Manny Ruiz free.

No way in hell could Alexis be Sam’s mother. It wasn’t—it wasn’t possible. It wasn’t fair—

She shot up and snatched the paper from Jason, ripping it open. She scanned the gibberish until she found what she was looking for — a 99.99993 percent chance that Patient A and Patient B were related through the maternal DNA.

“Who ran this?” Sam demanded. “How do you know you can trust them?”

“Elizabeth Webber. You know her—”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sam dredged up the brunette who’d looked after her and Danny in the hospital. “She was—” A bubble of hysteria rose in her throat. “She was really good to him in the hospital. Danny liked her. Said she sang him a lullaby.”

Danny. He really wasn’t her brother. She’d known that, but somehow—God, somehow, seeing this test made it so crystal clear. The one person in all the world that had ever loved her… didn’t belong to her anymore. Wasn’t hers.

She wasn’t anyone’s. She hadn’t even realized until this moment she’d thought maybe her biological family could be somewhere she could belong.

But she could never be part of Alexis Davis’s family.

“And she doesn’t know anything about the test?”

Jason grimaced. “She didn’t at first, but…Sam, when I got those results, I thought—I thought maybe I shouldn’t tell you.”

“You—” Sam took a step back. “You did this without telling me, and then you were going to…what…hide it from me? What the hell—”

“Elizabeth talked me out of it. So, yeah. She knows. She won’t say anything. Not even to Emily. I trust her.”

“You trust her—” Sam crumpled the white paper in a ball, curled it into her fist. “Oh, well, that’s fine. Trust her with something you had no right to even do—”

“I know, and I’m sorry—”

“Well, it’s too fucking late for that, isn’t it?” she spat. Her skin was tingling, almost like she’d shoved a fork into a socket and gotten a jolt. Alexis Davis. Alexis fucking Davis was her mother. She’d been searching for answers, and Jason had handed them to her on a silver platter—

And had only told her at all because some nurse had convinced him.

Had she woken up in a nightmare? Her baby brother wasn’t hers. She wasn’t even really her mother’s daughter, and her father had probably adopted her to run a con.

And now she learned she’d been thrown away by Alexis Davis, the woman who’d stolen everything from her.

What a fucking joke her entire life had turned out to be.

“Sam—”

“I can’t do this right now. I can’t—I can’t even think—I can’t make this right in my head and the only reason I even—if you’d just told me what you thought, Jason, I could have—I could have had time to deal with it before we knew for sure—and maybe I wouldn’t have even wanted to know. But you forced it on me. This wasn’t your fight. This was mine, and you stole it from me.” Her eyes burned as she stared at the man she’d thought she’d known so well. “You took this from me. And you can’t ever make that okay.”

“Sam—”

“Sure, you were trying to protect me. But that’s not your job. I never asked you to do that.” She stalked past him and yanked her coat out of the closet. “I’m going to take a walk. And you’re going to sleep on the damn couch tonight.”

Cosmopolitan Hotel: Hallway

Emily stepped off the elevator, pressing a fist to her mouth as she stifled a yawn. She had hoped to go home tonight, but when the call had come—

Well, she couldn’t resist.

She knocked on the door lightly. “It’s me,” she said. The door opened, and she smiled at the man standing on the other side.

“Hey,” Sonny Corinthos said, as he pulled her inside and kissed her. “I didn’t know if you’d get my message.”

“I caught it after my shift.” She smoothed her hands down his chest, smiling at him. “I had to dodge a lot of questions today,” she teased as he led her to a table where glasses of champagne were waiting. “Elizabeth and Jason are starting to compare notes.”

Sonny frowned as he handed her a glass. “Since when do they talk?”

“I know!” Emily rolled her eyes. “I ditched a meeting with Jason about Manny Ruiz last week—I didn’t think it was a big deal, and you’d already told me that you were having him watched. But Elizabeth talked to him instead.” She bit her lip, stared down into her glass, then looked up to meet his eyes. “Should we tell them?”

“I thought we’d decided to wait,” Sonny said. “Until we knew if…if there was something worth talking about.” He leaned in, brushed his lips against hers. “You know what people are going to say.”

“I do. But Jason won’t. He knows I can make my own choices—”

Jason will probably react the worst,” Sonny told her with a sigh. He shook his head. “You’re his little sister. And…it’s not like he doesn’t know the risks.” He winced. “And you hadn’t moved home yet, but I didn’t handle it well when he starting dating my sister.”

Emily pressed her lips together. “Maybe. But he’ll come around, and I can count on Elizabeth. Yeah, my family will hit the roof, and Carly will be a nightmare, but Jason and Elizabeth will come through for me. They always do.” She hesitated. “Then again…”

He raised a brow as he took her glass from her. “Then again?” he prompted.

“Maybe we should wait a little longer,” Emily suggested. “It’s…you’re right. This is still so new. And maybe we’ll hate each other in a few weeks.” She smiled. “Let’s just keep this between us.”

“Excellent idea.” He leaned in for another kiss, and the conversation slipped away.

Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Kitchen

Elizabeth grimaced as she lifted Cameron from his booster seat after thoroughly wiping his dinner from his cheeks and neck. His shirt was covered in the remains of his spaghetti sauce despite the napkin tucked into his collar. Her little boy was special like that.

“Mommy, Biderman.” Cameron grinned at her. “I go play?”

“Yeah, go ahead and play in your room.”

She looked up through the open arch of the kitchen to the living room as her husband slammed the door behind him. Lucky ripped his coat off, then scowled as he clearly aggravated his back. He didn’t even seem to notice as Cameron toddled past him into the bedroom. “How was physical therapy—”

“How do you think it was?” he snapped as he tossed the coat over the arm of the sofa. Lucky winced, shook his head. “Sorry. It was a crappy day, and it got worse after therapy. I still can’t do all of the exercises, and until I can, they won’t even consider putting me back on active duty.”

“I’m so sorry,” she murmured. He’d been so close to going back to work before the car accident, and now… “Patrick said he didn’t give you a return date.”

“Oh, nice of him to tell you about my case like it’s any of his fucking business—” Lucky scowled. “He won’t even refill my pain prescription, so I’m supposed to suffer, I guess.” He glared at her. “And then I leave my appointment and find you smiling at a damn criminal. What the hell were you doing with Jason Morgan?”

Elizabeth frowned, her shoulders tensing. She hadn’t expected that turn in the conversation and didn’t quite understand the accusation in Lucky’s voice. Jason and Lucky had known each other for years, and while they hadn’t been friends since Lucky’s brainwashing, they’d managed to co-exist just fine. In fact, Elizabeth knew that Lucky had gone to Jason for information about Manny after her kidnapping back in October.

Remembering Emily’s strange questions about her friendship with Jason, Elizabeth didn’t know why everyone was acting like she’d been caught kissing Jason.

They’d walked to a frickin’ elevator!

Elizabeth took a deep breath and decided to treat the question like it hadn’t been launched at her like an accusation of something way more nefarious. “I didn’t see you—why didn’t you come over and say something? Jason had a question about something. I gave him some test results and walked him to the elevator. We were talking about Emily.”

“I don’t give a damn how Emily feels about him or if you used to be friends. You’re my wife, and I’m a cop. I can’t have you being friends with criminals—”

“I won’t waste my breath and talk about innocent until proven guilty because I know that’s not your point. I’m sorry, Lucky. But we’re both worried about Emily. She’s been acting strangely since the quarantine. And there’s Manny—”

“If you’re so concerned about Manny, why don’t you talk to the people who are supposed to take care of this crap? You know, the police?” Lucky charged.

“Maybe because the PCPD didn’t seem to be able to do anything the last time Manny was on a rampage,” Elizabeth shot back. Lucky’s eyes glinted with fury. “The system let him out, Lucky. Why the hell would I trust them to fix it now?”

“Oh, you trust a mobster more than your own husband?” Lucky demanded. “Doesn’t the law mean anything to you?”

“When it works. It couldn’t put Manny away. And it sure as hell didn’t get me justice with Tom Baker, did it? And Ric is still out there, practicing law no matter what he did. You can’t always trust the system. And when it comes to protecting myself and the hospital, I’m glad there’s someone that can take care of psychos like Manny.”

“I can’t fucking believe this—”

“You lived outside the law your entire life, Lucky. It wasn’t so long ago we were covering up the death of a police officer ourselves. And you haven’t always followed the rules, either.”

“Sure, throw that in my face again—it wasn’t my fault what happened to Emily—”

“I never said it was—” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “Look, it’s not like Jason and I are close. He came to the hospital with a medical question, and we talked about Emily. We saw Manny while he was there. Stop making this more than it has to be.”

She sighed when he just glared at her and said nothing. “I need to give Cameron a bath before getting him settled for bed. I’ll be back out later.”

When she’d closed the door, Lucky scowled and reached inside his pocket. He took out his bottle of pills and looked at it. He’d started the day with twenty, but now…

He tossed back two more, grimacing. He’d taken two more after his therapy session, but he really needed to be careful with what was left. If Patrick refused to write him a script, Lucky wasn’t sure what to do.

But his back was still screaming ten minutes later, so Lucky took two more pills. He’d start being careful tomorrow.

He looked around the apartment, the cramped one-bedroom that they’d been living in for the last eight months. This was hardly the life he’d wanted, the one he’d planned for himself or Elizabeth.

He hated these rooms. Hated the tiny kitchen, the lumpy sofa bed he and Elizabeth shared while Cameron slept in the bedroom all by himself. He’d never understood why the hell the kid couldn’t have slept out here, but she’d insisted, and he’d given in. He always gave in with her.

No matter what Elizabeth wanted, he gave it to her. Just like now — she was refusing to give up Jason Morgan. Like she always did.

Absently, Lucky slid another pill between his lips, not realizing it was the fifth he’d taken in the last hour. He didn’t even know it until he looked down and saw that the pills he’d started the day with had been cut by half.

He grimaced, got to his feet. “I’m going out,” he called to Elizabeth.

“Where?” she called back, but he didn’t answer. He dragged back on his coat and slammed the door behind him.

Jake’s: Bar

Sam raised her hand to signal the bartender, Coleman, that she wanted another shot. She just wanted everything to go away.

Alexis Davis was her mother.

And Danny was not her brother.

She couldn’t quite make any of that come outright. How could any of it be true? How could this be her reality? It simply…it didn’t compute. It didn’t add up.

Until she’d learned about her pregnancy, Danny had felt like the only good thing in her life. The only pure thing that kept her tethered to humanity. She knew that she wasn’t a good person. Sam would never lie to herself and think she was decent or kind. She’d stolen, she’d manipulated, she’d done terrible things for money.

And yeah, sometimes it had been to take care of Danny, but it had also been fun. Sam was a damn good con artist, and part of her was itching to get back into the game. To get back to a life she understood.

Because this life? This life didn’t make any fucking sense. Not since the day she’d targeted Jasper Jacks and that stupid hand of cards nearly three years ago. She’d not managed to close the deal with Jax, but Sonny—he’d been a terrific mark. Lonely. Rich. And the bonus of her looking just like his one true love, Brenda—

Sam thought if she’d just been able to get rid of Carly, maybe things could have been different. She could have really kept Sonny on the hook for decades.

She tossed back the tequila, feeling the alcohol burn her throat, then slammed the shot glass down. “Another!”

She didn’t let herself think about that much anymore—those few months when she’d tried to calculate her way into Sonny’s life and bank account. Sometimes Sam even

tried to convince herself she’d really been in love with Sonny, but what was the point?

She knew the truth.

Sam had seen a rich guy who looked like he might not suck in bed. Port Charles was lousy with gorgeous millionaires, and Sam had wanted a piece of it. Until her daughter. Until her baby grew in her, and Sam knew she’d needed more. Wanted more.

She’d never let a pregnancy get past the first six or seven weeks before. Had always had an abortion before the baby became real to her. Once it had…it had changed everything. Sam sighed, stared at her reflection in the grimy mirror that was built into the back of Jake’s bar.

She hadn’t liked playing that game. It had been the first con Cody had taught her — the best one for a girl like Sam to play, he’d told her. She looked like trash, and no one wanted to have a permanent connection to trash.

Of course, the first time hadn’t been a game. Sam drank another tequila and sighed, thinking of the first. Of the first boy she’d been with who’d thrown her away.

She hadn’t known then it was her own history she had repeated. Maybe that was Alexis’s story. Some good looking boy who’d promised the world when she’d been sixteen to get her into the backseat of his Chevy, only to smirk when the bill came due. Had that happened to Alexis? Had she known the shame and humiliation of looking at a boy she’d thought loved her, only to have him laugh in her face

He’d offered to pay for the abortion, and Sam had gone to her father, sure that somehow her father, who always had a game to play, would know what to do. But Cody had just told her that was a woman’s lot in life. Men had all the fun while women paid the price. Better to learn it now and make men pay. At least he’d offered to foot the bill.

Those were the games Sam was best at — making men want her enough to pay for it. She could tempt a man to leave his wife, to sell his soul, to give her anything she wanted just for a taste. She’d gotten pregnant again at eighteen. Then again at nineteen.

The fourth time, when she was twenty, after her fourth abortion, Sam decided to stop playing that game. She’d upgraded to rich men who wanted a pretty trophy wife. No more babies.

She wondered now why she’d stopped playing the game. She could have just started faking pregnancies. But she’d stopped using kids at all until she’d ended up pregnant with Sonny’s daughter. Had part of her known she’d been thrown away? Had she somehow suspected it?

“I guess you’re slummin’ it,” Lucky Spencer said he slid onto a stool, swaying slightly as he put up his hand to place an order for a beer. “What? Jason’s mini-bar isn’t fully stocked?’

Sam rolled her eyes and brought the shot glass to her lips. “Doesn’t your dad own a bar club?”

“Don’t want to see anyone,” Lucky muttered as Coleman placed the Rolling Rock in front of him.

“Well, same here.” Sam scowled at him. “So, leave me the hell alone.”

“Yeah, I will if you keep your fiancé away from my wife,” Lucky shot back. He dumped some money on the bar, then picked up his drink to stumble away towards the pool table. Sam stared after him, blinking.

What the hell was that about?

May 6, 2020

This entry is part 2 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

Which mask will you wear today
How about the one with the pretty smile
To you it’s just another day
In a life you haven’t lived in quite awhile
Everybody knows your name
But they don’t know who you are
But to them it’s just a game
And I think it’s gone too far
Just Another Name, Lifehouse


Tuesday, March 14, 2006

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

 Two weeks later, Elizabeth found herself again looking at the black crepe memorial to Regina Johnson that was still up. Every time she walked past it, she couldn’t help but think about those long, terrifying weeks they’d been locked in General Hospital. They’d been unable to leave, unable to see their own families, risking their lives to save others.

Elizabeth’s life hadn’t been the same since the virus had hit. Her husband had survived, but he might never be the same. A fact that haunted her every day she woke up and saw he was still in pain, still not able to walk and move freely.

“Hey.”

Elizabeth blinked as Nadine joined her in the nurse’s station, a stack of medical charts in her arms. She raised her brows at Elizabeth. “You okay? You looked a bit distracted.”

“Yeah.” She took a deep breath. “I’m fine. Do you need help with those charts?”

“Oh, what, you want to help me before you abandon us for the glamorous world of surgery?” Nadine rolled her eyes. “I mean, I don’t know why you think it’s cool to leave us like this—”

“I’ll miss the patients,” Elizabeth admitted. She liked working with kids, feeling connected to them, and taking care of them until they were released. Working as a surgical nurse meant she’d lose some of that connection, but… “I can’t turn down the hours. I’ll be able to tuck Cameron in nearly every night—”

“I know, I know. But it doesn’t mean I can’t complain—” Nadine’s voice dropped out as they heard the creak of the janitor’s cart.

Manny smiled at them as he wheeled his cart past them down another hall. When he’d disappeared, Nadine exhaled slowly, pressing a hand to her chest.

“How is he still a thing, I ask you?” she grumbled.

“I know,” Elizabeth murmured. “He’s hurt so many people.” She’d hoped that Manny would be gone by now. Jason’s men were working at GH now, and she saw the one that hung out on the Pediatrics floor every so often. She felt mildly safer, but it didn’t change the fact that it felt like they had a ticking bomb stalking their halls.

The last two weeks hadn’t reassured her that the surgery had cured Manny of his violent tendencies, only that they were all living on borrowed time.

Waiting for Manny to make his move.

“You know, you’d think living in a town full of mobsters, they’d be able to take care of one crazy ass psycho,” Nadine complained, then she winced, looking at Elizabeth. “Oh. Yeah. Right. Shouldn’t say that to a cop’s wife.”

“Hey, this cop’s wife watched a violent psycho get turned loose by the system because a tumor made him do it.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “The system doesn’t solve all our problems.”

She accepted a stack of envelopes from a courier with a sigh, then sorted the test results and memos. She stopped when she saw Patrick’s name on one of the envelopes with a patient number she recognized. Elizabeth ran her fingers over it, remembering the favor Jason had asked of her.

“Hey, Nadine, do you mind covering for me? I have to go make a call.”

“Sure. You okay?”

“Yeah, just have to call a patient about some test results.” She pocketed the envelope and headed for the locker room.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Paulie, I’ll have…I’m not saying no, okay? I just have to think about it.”

Sam McCall sighed and set the phone back onto the receiver before checking off a name on the list she’d scrawled using a legal pad she’d found stashed in his desk. It had been a while since she’d stretched her research muscles. She’d forgotten how much fun it was to put together a profile on a mark — even if she was treating herself like the mark.

Jason hadn’t been happy when Sam made it clear she wasn’t going to leave her past alone. Or maybe he hadn’t been all that happy that she was planning to contact a lot of her father’s buddies from past jobs. Sam knew Jason accepted her past as a con artist, but she definitely knew he wouldn’t be happy if that past became the present.

The man in question emerged from the kitchen where he’d been doing dishes. She wrinkled her nose — she would never understand the domestic side of him. When you had as much money as Jason Morgan, you should never have to lift a finger.

“Any luck?” Jason asked as he leaned against the arm of the sofa, his head tilted to the side.

“No one knows why Cody McCall decided to adopt a baby girl all by himself twenty-six years ago,” Sam offered with a sigh. “But the general consensus is that he needed a cover for something he was pulling and kids…are good. Dad liked to target single women, and they’re suckers for a guy with a baby.”

Jason frowned at that. “Target them how?”

“Clean out bank accounts, use them for a place to stay.” Sam got to her feet, shrugging. “Could be anything. Sometimes, if the mark was good, he’d stay a year. Go to work at the company she owned — he loved powerful women.” She didn’t realize she was grinning as she spoke—

But Jason did. He grimaced, then shook his head, and listened as Sam continued to describe her childhood with Cody McCall and the games he’d run.

“You know, the women of the eighties loved to prove they didn’t need a man or a kid—they never saw Dad coming. He was pretty good at it for a long time, and Mom didn’t care as long as the checks kept coming.” Sam shrugged. “She wasn’t much of a mother, you already know that. But those were the good years. Dad was pretty disappointed when Danny…”

The smile faded from her face. “Danny couldn’t go out on the road,” she said finally. “So he took me instead.”

She looked over to find him studying her, squinting the way someone might look at an insect. “Don’t make that face. I had a good childhood, okay? My father…he mostly loved me. And Mom didn’t care much as long as I wasn’t around. Makes sense now that I know she wasn’t my biological mother.”

“I guess I just….” Jason shrugged, straightened. “I guess I thought you were happy to have that behind you.”

“I am,” Sam insisted. She mostly was, anyway. Sometimes she missed the rush, but— “It has its perks, but it’s stressful, okay? And technology made some of the old games harder.” She bit her lip. “But…the last guy I talked to? He used to run real estate scams with my dad after I left him. And…”

“And what?” Jason pressed when Sam didn’t continue speaking.

“He said he has a spot open. A short gig, really.” She shrugged. “Maybe two days. Posing as a client to make the mark more comfortable.”

“And he wants…you?” Jason lifted his brows. She tensed at the way his tone changed.

“Yeah, this kind of stuff used to be my bread and butter when I was setting up the longer cons,” Sam told him. She tossed her hair back and lifted her chin, nearly defiant now. “It’s not easy to research a rich guy and figure out how to take him for everything he has. I had to pay the bills between gigs.”

He exhaled slowly. “You just said that you were happy to be done with it—”

“This is different. Paulie’s an old friend, and he’s in a pinch.” Sam chewed her lip. “It wouldn’t be for another week. Maybe two. He’s still putting some things together, but his usual girl can’t make it. And he might remember more about my Dad if I do this for him.”

“You…” Jason shook his head. “Sam, what about…” He gestured around them. “Figuring out who arranged your adoption? You said you were done with this.”

“I am. It’s just a one-time thing.” Sam planted her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes. “What are you getting so pissy about, anyway? You walk out that door and commit worse crimes than I ever did. What, you get to be the criminal, and I have to stay here like Suzy homemaker?”

“No, but—” Jason pressed his lips together. “I’m just surprised you want to go back, even temporarily. I know you’re going through a lot—”

“Going through a lot—” Sam rolled her eyes. “Yeah, okay. My brother—the last piece of family I had in this world—died. I found out my entire life was a lie because I’m apparently a piece of trash some girl dropped on the black market. She wanted me to disappear so much that someone set fire to any trail I might have used to find her. None of that has anything to do with wanting to do a favor for an old friend, Jason.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, neither really willing to back down. Jason hadn’t actually forbidden her from doing the job. He hadn’t really said anything at all that suggested he didn’t want her to do it—but Sam knew how to read him. He was pissed that she was thinking of dipping her toe back in the water and couldn’t figure out how to make her stop.

“This is something I’m good at,” Sam continued. “You know I haven’t been in the game since I came to Port Charles.” Not really anyway. Not since Sonny. Mostly.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek. Maybe those first few weeks she’d stayed with Jason, she’d played him a bit. But it wasn’t the same. That had been about survival. “I can make some quick cash, have something to do, and get my mind off all the crap I’m going through, okay?”

“Sam, listen—” Jason hesitated, then grimaced as his phone rang. He dug it out of his back pocket and answered. “Yeah? Oh.” He looked at Sam, and his face went blank. “Yeah, okay. No, no, I’ll come to you. I’ll be there in ten, maybe fifteen minutes.”

He closed his phone. “I’m sorry. Something came up. I need to go take care of this.”

She didn’t bother to ask him what was up — he wouldn’t answer her anyway. “Fine.”

He brushed a kiss on her cheek, then left. Sam scowled after him — what right did he have to make her feel guilty about doing the one thing she was good at? She’d been one of the best cons in the business and would probably have been able to retire to some sort of private island if she hadn’t given it up for him.

Not that he’d ever asked her to, but man, it was so fucking typical of a guy to have a double standard. He could go on a crime spree, but the minute Sam wanted to pull her own job, he got all pissy about it.

“Men,” she muttered before calling Paulie back. She’d do the job. It’d be a cold day in hell before Sam McCall was pushed around by some guy—even if she’d promised to marry him.

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

When the elevator doors buzzed open on their floor, Elizabeth glanced up and frowned when she saw her husband stepping off. Lucky Spencer winced as he leaned on the cane he’d been forced to use after being released from the hospital two weeks earlier.

He’d injured his back twice in the last six months—the first after the train accident caused by Manny Ruiz. Lucky had fought his way back to full health and active duty, only to be stricken with the encephalitis virus that nearly killed him. He’d passed out while driving, and the resulting car crash had re-injured his back.

He was back on disability and partial desk duty at the PCPD, and Elizabeth was hoping that his appointment with Patrick Drake would bring good news. Lucky was not a good patient, having spent way too much of the last year in General Hospital. He was impatient and short-tempered on his best day.

“Hey. You’re not done with your appointment already, are you?”

“No, I just…” Lucky grimaced as he stepped up to the station. “I just wanted to make sure you were still getting off work at six. I can’t pick Cameron up at daycare, but he can stay there until you’re done, right?”

Elizabeth hesitated, frowned. “Yeah, but they’re going to charge me for the overtime—what’s wrong? Do they need you at work or something?”

“They never need me at work,” Lucky said flatly. He seemed to hear the irritation and snap in his voice and sighed. “Sorry, it’s just…I’m tired. And my back hurts. There’s not a lot of call for a crippled cop right now.”

“But you’ll be back on your feet in no time,” Elizabeth said with a bright smile. “You’ll have your physical with Patrick, he’ll get your return date sorted and…all of this will just…” With a confidence she really didn’t feel, she finished, “it’ll just be a bad memory soon.”

“Yeah, I hope so. Anyway, can Cameron stay until six? I was able to get a therapy session scheduled after my appointment, and every bit helps.”

She didn’t want to argue with him about it, even though staying late meant Elizabeth would have to find an extra hundred dollars at the end of the week. “Yeah, um, sure. That’ll be fine. I’d ask Gram, but she’s got dinner tonight with some old friends.”

“Thanks. I’ll see you at home.” He brushed a kiss against her cheek. “I’d better head down to Patrick’s office.”

The universe was on her side—no sooner had one set of elevator doors closed on her husband’s face than the second set of doors opened on another face — one that Lucky would not have been thrilled to see.

Jason strode towards the nurse’s station. “Hey. I came as soon as I could. You said the test results were in?”

“Yeah.” She reached under the counter to retrieve the envelope and held it out to him. He didn’t take them. She tipped her head. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah. I guess…”

Jason shifted, seemingly restless on his feet, and her concern grew. Elizabeth couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen Jason nervous. She hadn’t let herself wonder too much about the test he’d asked to run, but now she wondered exactly what kind of trouble he was in, and how a DNA test played into it.

She looked at her co-worker. “Nadine, I’m just about done here. Can you do these last two charts, and I’ll owe you forever?”

Nadine rolled her eyes but accepted the folders Elizabeth handed her. “Oh, sure, make more work for me when you’re abandoning me.” She smirked at Jason. “Lucky you found her here at all since she’s about to leave us forever.”

Jason furrowed his brow. “Wait, what?”

“Oh, stop.” To Jason, Elizabeth said, “Nadine is just being dramatic. This is my last shift working this floor.” She stepped down from the station, the results in her hand. “Come on, we’ll go find a conference room or something.”

Before she could take him away, Manny shuffled past them, slowly wheeling his cart. He offered them a smile before stepping onto the elevators.

When the door had closed, Jason turned back to her. “It’s been a few weeks since my guys started. How is it going?”

Elizabeth grimaced. “Okay, I guess. He’s still creepy, and I still feel like he’s around too much, but I feel better knowing someone is watching him.”

“Yeah, well, remember you promised not to help,” Jason said. “If you see something—”

“Call you and do nothing, yeah, yeah.” She sighed. “Come on. You probably want to see the results.”

“So, you’re moving floors?” Jason asked as she led him down a hallway and into an empty room with a conference table. Elizabeth switched on the lights.

“Yeah, I’m moving up to surgery tomorrow. Patrick and Monica are going to help me get the hours I need to certify as a surgical nurse.” Elizabeth shrugged but couldn’t fight her smile. “It was Bobbie’s idea, after the quarantine, I mean. She said Alan was impressed with—anyway.” She took a deep breath, held out the envelope. “Here you go.”

“Yeah.” Jason took the envelope, stared at it. “Uh, that’s great. I mean, is it a promotion?”

“Oh.” Elizabeth furrowed her brow. “I guess, sort of. I get better hours. Same pay, but I’ll be able to put Cameron down most nights—” She pursed her lips. “Jason, you don’t have to tell me anything, but…it’s almost as if you’re procrastinating. I’ve never known you to do that.”

“Yeah. I know.” And still…he didn’t open them. “You said Patrick wasn’t going to ask questions?”

“He said as long as it wasn’t illegal, he was happy to do me a favor. I’m not asking questions, either, Jason, but…” She nodded at it. “I could open it if you want. There are no names—”

“No, I’m being—” He shook his head and ripped the envelope open. He pulled out the thin white piece of paper and unfolded it. As his eyes scanned the results, his shoulders slumped, and he closed his eyes. “Damn it.”

“I guess it wasn’t the news you wanted?” Elizabeth asked. “Sorry.” She shook her head. “I promised not to ask questions—”

“No, it’s—” Jason dragged out a chair and sat down, looking more exhausted than he’d ever looked before—except maybe the time he’d been recovering from a bullet wound. He stared at the envelope and said nothing.

She waited. She knew he wasn’t the type to really open up—he never had been. Even when they’d objectively been friends, he’d always closed off what he was really thinking. She remembered back when he’d been shot and hiding in her studio—she hadn’t known until Carly turned up pregnant by Sonny why Jason had been angry with them.

Elizabeth pressed her lips together, nodded. Some things would never change. “Well, you have the results. I should get back to work—” She turned, put her hand on the doorknob.

“It’s a maternity test.”

He said the words so quietly she nearly missed them. Elizabeth turned back to look at him, but he was still staring at the paper in his hands.

“Oh.” Elizabeth pressed her lips together, shook her head. “Okay. I thought—” When Jason had wanted a DNA test, she’d hadn’t really known what to think. But he’d asked her for a favor, and she’d been curious enough—and secretly pleased he still trusted her enough to ask for something like this—to agree without asking questions.

“Yeah, I know. You thought it was a paternity test.” He set the paper on the table. He fell silent again. Then— “I don’t know what to do.”

Elizabeth raised her brows, a bit stunned. It was so rare that Jason admitted anything to her, much less—

She should tell him to call Emily. To go talk to Carly. Or Sonny. Or Sam. Someone who mattered to him. Who he trusted.

Who he’d let into his life instead of pushed away.

But she didn’t do any of that. Instead, she pulled out the chair next to him and sat down. “You know—whatever you tell me—it won’t leave this room. You can trust me.”

He looked up, then met her eyes. “I know that. That’s why I asked you to—” Jason exhaled slowly. “But this isn’t my secret.”

“If it’s a maternity test,” Elizabeth said slowly, drawing out the words, “then it’s probably for Carly or Sam. You should talk to them, Jason.”

“She doesn’t know—” Jason grimaced, looked away. “She doesn’t know I did this. That I ran the test. I didn’t think—” He pressed his lips together, looked back at the results. “I don’t know. I think maybe I was expecting them to come back negative. And then it would just be something I’d thought. I didn’t—I didn’t expect it to be true.”

“Ah.” Elizabeth leaned back in her chair, folding her arms. “So now it’s your secret, too, but you don’t want it to be.” She got to her feet. “Well, you know how to keep secrets, Jason. That’s something you’re good at it.”

Some things would never change.

“If Sam knew this,” Jason said, hesitantly, stopping her again as she started to leave. “If Sam knew this, it would be bad.”

Elizabeth pursed her lips. “Look, Jason, clearly you’re struggling with this. You did something behind Sam’s back, and now you know something she doesn’t. If you don’t want to talk to me about it, that’s fine. But—”

“I’m sorry,” Jason said. He shook his head. “You’re right. I just—I shouldn’t have done this,” he realized. “But now I have. And I don’t know what to do.”

“You tell her,” Elizabeth said flatly.

“I can’t—”

“Why?” she demanded, feeling more irritated than she had any right to. It was always the same damn conversation with Jason. “If it’s not about business, then what’s the big deal?”

Jason hesitated and looked at her. “After Danny died…Sam found out she was adopted.”

“Oh,” Elizabeth repeated. She sat back down. “That was probably rough.”

“Yeah, it—” Jason leaned back, staring at the paper. “She’s—she’s not taking it well. Danny was the only family she had left. And she had no idea. They never said anything.”

“I’m sorry—”

“We managed to track her adoption down to Maine and—” Jason cleared his throat. “Well, we got the rest of the information, but it was a fake identity. Sam was born in a clinic that shut down shortly afterward and adopted through an agency that only ever existed on paper. Her original birth certificate, uh, listed a woman named Natasha Davis as her mother.”

“Natasha Davis.” Elizabeth blinked. “Something about that…I don’t know. It sounds familiar.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. And then I remembered Alexis—”

“Davis,” Elizabeth murmured. “She was born—”

“Natasha Cassadine. And would have been sixteen the year Sam was born.”

General Hospital: Patrick Drake’s Office

“Have a seat.”

Lucky Spencer grimaced as the tall, dark-haired doctor gestured at the seat in front of his desk. “Do I have to? Can’t we just get this over with?”

“No,” Patrick Drake told him as he took his own seat. When Lucky had reluctantly lowered himself into the chair, Patrick opened Lucky’s file. “I’m sorry it’s taken a little bit of time to get this appointment in. I, uh…” He cleared his throat. “Tony had a lot of patients.”

“Yeah, yeah. Well, how many of them have you kept from going back to work?” Lucky snapped. He leaned back in the chair, folding his arms. He ignored the sharp pain in his back. “Just confirm what Tony said — I can go back to work next week—”

“Tony wasn’t able to conduct a full exam before he fell ill,” Patrick interrupted. “I have. I’ve seen the MRI and X-rays. I performed the initial surgery when you were brought in after the car accident—”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Lucky complained. “I just…I didn’t know I was sick—I just ran into the telephone pole—”

“At fifty miles an hour,” Patrick said dryly. “Look, I get it. You want to get back on active duty. I know you’ve been in physical therapy and on the desk since the train crash. But the fact is, Lucky, you aggravated your injury in the car accident.”

He’d known this was coming. Considering his back hurt as much today as it had the day Lucky had been discharged the first time back in December, he wasn’t too surprised. “So, fine. I can’t go back next week. When?”

“I don’t know. It took three months to recuperate last time.” Patrick tapped his pencil against the file. “I’m not comfortable giving you an exact date, but I understand for insurance purposes, you need it—”

“If I’m out on disability much longer, I might not be able to get back,” Lucky growled. “It’s already been three months, Drake. What? You telling me it’s another three?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. We’re not going to know that, Lucky, until we come up with a plan of action. You might need another surgery. I’m concerned that the disc you ruptured isn’t fully healed, and the MRI is backing me up.”

“I’m not having another surgery—” Lucky shifted with a grimace. “I’m almost at my lifetime cap on my insurance, okay? I was in the hospital last year, even before the first accident.”

Patrick exhaled slowly. “Ah, I thought that might be it. Look, we’ll try to avoid surgery. If I don’t see some good results in the next MRI or if you can’t get a decent range of motion in your next battery of physical tests, you might never get back on active duty.”

“Fine. Fine. So what? More therapy? More pills? I’m almost out of my last prescription, the one you wrote when I got released. And I don’t have any refills left.”

“No refills—Are you kidding—” Patrick swallowed hard. “Okay, if you’re almost out of the original and the refill I prescribed, then we need to talk about pain management. You’ve been on the steady dosage of oxycontin since November. That’s a long time—”

“What’s your point?” Lucky snapped. His fingers tightened around the grip of the chair. “You calling me a drug addict?”

“No.” Patrick’s voice was clipped. “I’m saying that if it’s not helping you manage the pain, we’ll need to look into other things. I’m not going to refill the prescription, Lucky. Four months of oxycontin is enough—”

“I got re-injured, didn’t I?”

“I know. Which is why I wrote you a prescription that should have lasted six weeks. Not three. I’m not writing you another one. Not for at least three more weeks. I can refer you to the pain management clinic—”

“Fuck that.” Lucky hurled himself out of the chair. “I’m a goddamn cop. I was injured in the line of duty, and you’re treating me like some scumbag druggie—” He shook his head. “I want another doctor.”

“I’m the only neurosurgeon at the hospital,” Patrick snapped. “I took over Tony’s neurology patients because the hospital is short-staffed. I’m the best in the state—”

“Tony Jones was—”

“Fifteen years ago, yeah. Maybe even ten years ago. But no doctor in their right mind is going to write you another prescription for opiates, Spencer.” Patrick got to his feet. “You can either take the referral to the pain management clinic or get by on aspirin.”

He held out the piece of paper. “I know you’re in pain, but the oxy isn’t going to help you. You’ve developed a tolerance—”

“I’m a drug addict, you mean. Just say it, Drake—”

“It’s common to develop a tolerance,” Patrick continued as if Lucky hadn’t spoken. “Either I raise the dosage or take you off it—”

“Can’t you write me a script for a different drug then? I’m in pain—”

Patrick just held out the referral. With a scowl, Lucky finally snatched it from him. “Go to the clinic. Keep working your therapy schedule. We’ll meet back here next week and see how you’re feeling.”

“Yeah, thanks a lot.”

Lucky stalked out of the room and headed for the elevators.

General Hospital: Conference Room

“Oh. Oh, God,” Elizabeth said as the horror of it set in. “Sam hates Alexis. Are you—are you telling me—” She took a deep breath. “You recognized the possibility, but you didn’t tell her.”

He shifted. “I didn’t want to worry or upset her. She’s been—losing Danny messed her up. She blames Alexis for his death. For her daughter’s death—for Manny Ruiz being on the loose—I just—I wanted to protect her. If it came back false, then—”

“But it didn’t. I feel so bad for her. I mean, I know Alexis is great, but I understand where Sam is coming from.” She hesitated. “Jason, you have to tell her.”

“I know.” But he didn’t look convinced.

“That’s not—this isn’t like you, Jason. It was one thing to run the test behind her back—” Elizabeth arched a brow at him. “It was a stupid thing, but fine. I could maybe get that. But now you know.

“Elizabeth—”

“What happens if she comes across this information later, another way?” Elizabeth asked. “This kind of thing always comes out. You know that.”

“I don’t know.”

“Will you tell her you already know? Will you lie, pretend you had no idea—”

“No—” Jason pressed his lips together and nodded. “No, I wouldn’t, but—”

Elizabeth gestured at the paper. “If you’d told me before I did this, I wouldn’t have run the test. I get—I get you’re trying to protect her. But Jason…” She tilted her head. “If you don’t tell her the truth now about something like this—something that matters to her—”

She fell silent, cleared her throat, and got to her feet. “It’s none of my business. I need to get back to work.”

Jason also rose, touched her elbow as she turned to leave. “No. Finish what you were going to say.”

“You’re already lying to her. You know something that matters to her—you thought you knew something and didn’t tell her. Now you actually know it. You think she’s not going to see you’re keeping a secret and wonder what it is?” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “I know you’re legendary for your stone face—”

Jason scowled, but she continued. “But you’re not a very good liar. I could always tell when you were lying to me.”

“You—” He blinked, swallowed hard. “What? When did I lie to you—I never—” Obviously remembering a moment too late, he snapped his mouth shut. “Right.”

Wishing she hadn’t brought it up, Elizabeth folded her arms, looked away. “When you were lying about Sonny. I didn’t know about what, but I knew you were lying. And…the other stuff that was going on—And you weren’t telling me. It hurt, Jason. And if Sam knows you at all, it’s going to hurt her—”

“I’m—” Jason started, but she shook her head.

“I don’t want to talk about it. We’re not talking about it,” she repeated when he opened his mouth as if to argue. “I’m just telling you I don’t recommend lying about something like this.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” Jason picked up the results, folded it, and put it inside his pocket. “Listen…I wish I had made different choices back then, Elizabeth. Been more honest. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, we both ended up where we’re supposed to be, I guess. I need to get back to work. And you need to go home and talk to Sam.”

“Thanks for doing this, Elizabeth. I knew I could trust you.”

“Always,” she said with a smile, profoundly relieved they’d tiptoed around their past and managed to dance right over it. She opened the conference door. “C’mon, I’ll walk you to the elevator. I wanted to ask you something about Emily anyway.”

“Is she ignoring a lot of your calls, too?” Jason asked as they left the room.

General Hospital: Pediatrics Floor

 Lucky stepped out of the elevator and scowled when he saw that the nurse’s station was empty. Where the hell had Elizabeth gone? He wandered down one of the halls, hoping to find her coming out of a patient’s room, but no such luck. Maybe he could page his aunt or something back at the nurse’s station.

Just as he rounded the corner to return to the hub, he saw his wife walk out of a room with Jason Morgan. Elizabeth was smiling at the damn thug as she walked him to the elevator.

Didn’t she know how much pressure he was under at work? What the hell was she thinking smiling and talking to a fucking criminal?

He reached into his pocket and drew out the pills. He still had about twenty left. He could make that last for a week. If he wanted to. And then by next week, if he worked hard enough, he’d have kicked the pain and not need them at all.

He didn’t even need one now, but he wanted to spite that damn doctor. He didn’t need them. He just didn’t think he should have to walk down to the parking garage with his back hurting like this.

He was a fucking cop, and he deserved better than this bullshit. He cracked open the bottle and tossed two pills back. Just to take the edge off so he could get home.

May 4, 2020

This entry is part 1 of 33 in the For the Broken Girl: Reflections of You

It’s hard to admit that
Everything just takes me back
To when you were there
To when you were there
And a part of me keeps holding on
Just in case it hasn’t gone
I guess I still care
Do you still care?
When We Were Young


Monday, March 6, 2006

 General Hospital: Nurse’s Station, Pediatrics Floor

 It had been just over a week since the World Health Organization lifted the quarantine placed on General Hospital.

Port Charles had turned the page on the deadly encephalitis epidemic that had raged within its town limits for nearly three weeks. It had taken the lives of more than sixty residents, including several doctors, nurses, and orderlies that had risked their lives to care for the sick and dying. Nearly everyone in Port Charles had lost someone or knew someone that had suffered a loss.

Elizabeth Spencer walked beneath a memorial wreath hanging on the wall by elevators, commemorating the student nurse assigned to Pediatrics that had died in the epidemic. She flashed a smile at one of her colleagues, Nadine Crowell, another student nurse who was looking at the wreath and the photograph hanging beneath it. “How are you holding up?”

“Well enough,” Nadine said with a sigh as she reached for a chart. “Regina’s parents left yesterday. They’re taking her home to Buffalo for a funeral. I’m going to try to get a few days, but…” She offered Elizabeth a hesitant smile. “A lot of people are asking for time off for a funeral right now.”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “I went to the last memorial service yesterday,” she said. “For Courtney. Matthews,” she added when Nadine looked at her, slightly mystified. “She’s the one that had the baby before she died?”

“Oh, right. Your brother-in-law’s….” Nadine pursed her lips and squinted her eyes. Still, there was no word really to describe the relationship between Nikolas Cassadine and Courtney, as it had begun while Nikolas was still married to Elizabeth’s best friend. “How is he?”

“He left for Greece this morning. He needed to get away,” Elizabeth said. “He went with Lucky’s sister, Lulu.” She tapped her pen against a chart. “I should call Bobbie, see how she and Lucas are doing.”

“Yeah,” Nadine began as an intern stalked into the hub to reach for a chart. He wasn’t paying attention as he grabbed it, knocking an entire stack to the floor. “Hey, watch it—”

You watch it!” the intern snapped. “I’m covering twice as many patients—” He looked at Elizabeth, his cheeks flushed. “You know, your best friend called out. Again.”

“Emily?” Elizabeth said. “What—”

“Must be nice to be the daughter of the chief of staff,” the intern snarled before taking the chart he’d come for and storming away. Nadine sighed and knelt down to clean up the rest of the charts.

Elizabeth shook her head and reached into her pocket for her cell phone. “I’m going to text her. Something must be wrong for her to have called out like this—I just saw her yesterday at the memorial—” She looked at Nadine, then frowned. “What? You’re making a face.”

“I will say it’s the third shift that she’s missed since the quarantine lifted,” Nadine admitted. “I thought maybe she was just sick or tired. I mean, we all are—”

“Yeah, but—” Elizabeth sighed, closed her phone. “Well, I’ll check in with her. See what’s up.”

The elevator doors slid open, and Jason Morgan stepped out. Elizabeth lifted her brows at seeing Emily’s brother on her floor. He wasn’t a regular visitor to General Hospital, and even less so to the pediatrics floor. “Hey,” she said as he walked up to the counter. “Are you looking for Emily? She’s not here.”

Jason furrowed his brow, shook his head. “She’s supposed to meet me here—” His phone buzzed at that point, and he pulled it out of the pocket of his leather coat. He grimaced as he read a text message. “And—you’re right. Emily just told me she’s not here.”

“Yeah, I guess it was last minute,” Elizabeth said with a shrug. She picked up a chart, then stopped and sighed. “How’s Sam?” she asked, having remembered that his fiancée, Sam McCall, had been ill with the virus and lost a brother to the illness. “I didn’t want to ask if she was having a memorial for her brother, but—”

“Oh.” Jason cleared his throat. “Uh, she’s okay,” he said. “We didn’t—Danny’s not from Port Charles. So we went to Hawaii to spread his ashes.” He looked away. “But, uh, I know she said she wanted to thank you. I guess…you were Danny’s nurse?”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth said with a wistful smile. “He was really sweet, and I—” She took a deep breath. “We worked really hard, but we just couldn’t—” Her throat felt tight. “I’m just glad we didn’t lose more. Thank God you and Carly got the vaccine here.”

“Yeah. Well, I wish I’d been faster. I wish we’d saved Danny.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth to say something else, but then she heard it. A slight creak—the sound of a wheel that needed a spray of WD-40—then the footsteps. She looked past Jason to see the short bald man rolling his janitorial cart down the hallway towards them. He was a slight man, his olive skin heavily tattooed, his dark eyes already scanning the halls and area around him.

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and forced a smile on her face. “Um, if you—” Her fingers shook as she reached for a pen as the custodian drew closer. “If you talk to Emily—”

“Are you okay—” Jason stopped as he noticed the custodian drawing towards them. His face tightened as Manny Ruiz flashed them both a smile and offered Jason a two-fingered salute. Then he slowly wheeled the cart past them, disappearing down another hallway.

“I hate him,” Nadine said as she came up behind Elizabeth, offered her fellow nurse a squeeze on the arm in support. “Doesn’t it always feel like he’s watching you?”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth said faintly as she looked to where Manny had disappeared. “Yeah, it does.”

Manny Ruiz had wreaked havoc on Port Charles for months before his capture at Christmas. He was one of Jason and Sonny’s rivals from Miami who had arrived after the slaughter of his father and brother at the hands of Lorenzo Alcazar. He’d engineered a train accident that had killed dozens of Port Charles residents, injuring more than a hundred—including Elizabeth’s husband. Then, he had held the OR at gunpoint to stop them from saving Jason’s life that December.

And of course, Elizabeth had her own experience with the lunatic.

Last October, he’d grabbed Elizabeth from the hospital, taken her hostage, and forced her to tend to wounds he’d received. She’d managed to escape and put it behind her—but Manny Ruiz had stalked her nightmares for months.

Now, he worked at General Hospital as a custodian, thanks to Alexis Davis and Ric Lansing. They had argued Manny wasn’t responsible for his actions due to a brain tumor on his frontal lobe. As if Manny’s particular brand of violence and sadistic torment could be excused so easily.

“That’s why I was meeting with Emily,” Jason said. “We were—I know he started here in January, but that was right before everyone got sick, and he wasn’t here during the quarantine. I didn’t have a chance to do anything—” He squinted at her. “Elizabeth, are you okay?” he repeated.

She blinked at him, realized that she was still looking down the hall—as if making sure Manny was really gone.

“I’m fine,” Elizabeth said finally. “Um, yeah, I think Emily said you were going to talk to Alan, try to convince him to fire Manny—” She wiggled her shoulders. “I’m sorry, I just—I hate him.”

“Yeah, I get that.” Jason tipped his head. “You see him a lot?”

“All the time,” Nadine muttered. She flushed when they looked at her. “Sorry. None of my business. But he’s always pushing that stupid cart past the nurse’s station. I get it, we’re in the middle of everything, but—” She picked up her charts. “I hate him,” she said, then left the nurse’s station to check on a patient.

“Does he hang around Emily a lot?” Jason asked, looking back at Elizabeth.

“I—” Elizabeth shook her head. “No. I mean, I don’t know. Maybe he does. She and I haven’t worked the same shift in a while—” She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just—I feel like he’s always there.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “I guess you weren’t able to get Alan to fire him?”

“It’s not up to him, he said. Ruiz is here on some sort of community outreach, and the board is being stubborn. He’s going to keep working, but—” Jason scratched the edge of his eyebrow with his thumb. “Can you—is there somewhere we can talk?”

“Um, sure.” Elizabeth stepped out of the station. It was one thing to talk in public about a common threat, or even just to work together during a crisis like they had during the epidemic. She’d helped him, and Carly get the vaccine into the hospital when the authorities had refused to let him in, but somehow that felt different.

There was something uncomfortable about leading Jason into an empty conference room and closing the door behind her—the first time they’d been alone together since—

She furrowed her brow, staring at the cheap wood of the door. She couldn’t quite remember—maybe it had been here at the chapel, the night Emily had nearly died more than two years ago. Elizabeth shook her head and squared her shoulders. It didn’t matter if she and Jason were alone together, and it was silly to even think it did.

She turned to face him. “What’s up?”

“Alan is hiring two of my guys as orderlies,” Jason told her. “One to follow Manny around, and the other here on the Pediatrics floor because of Emily. But—you said you think Manny is watching you. And that other nurse—she said it’s like he’s always at the nurse’s station. Is she right? Do you think Manny’s watching you?”

“No,” Elizabeth said immediately. “Of course not. There’s no reason—” She folded her arms, looked at the floor. “I would never—I don’t matter—”

“Elizabeth.”

His quiet, reassuring tone gave her the courage to look up, to meet his eyes. He didn’t look irritated or annoyed. Just concerned. “I don’t think he’s watching me,” Elizabeth repeated. “Which is different than saying it feels like he is. I think I’m just being sensitive about it. I mean, since last October, when he grabbed me from the hospital—”

Jason held up a hand, and she stopped talking. “I’d forgotten,” he said quietly. “Some of the memories from before the surgery—” He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. When Lucky came to tell me and Sam, to look for Manny, I didn’t know—” He swallowed. “I didn’t realize I knew you.”

I didn’t realize I knew you.

She let his words roll around in her head because, man, it was such a simple thing to say. And it was true. But it didn’t feel like enough.

She shook her head. She wasn’t doing this. “Oh. Well, yeah, I knew that. And it’s okay. I mean, he just wanted me to take care of his wound. And obviously, it all worked out. Anyway, like I said, it’s just—it brings back a lot. To see Manny—I had—” She sighed, stared at her fingers. At her wedding ring. “I had some nightmares. It all felt like it got mixed up with…other things.”

“I’m sorry.”

Elizabeth met his eyes, realized he had made the connection to what she hadn’t wanted to say. That the way Manny had grabbed her, threatened her—that it had made her think about her rape. “I’m glad you’re going to have someone watching him at the hospital,” Elizabeth said finally. “Lucky said the PCPD couldn’t do anything about it. Officially, the charges against Manny have been dropped. Even mine. So…” She flashed him a bright smile that she hoped looked more confident than she felt. “You’re watching him.”

“Yeah, but you tell me if you think he’s paying too much attention to you, okay? Or anyone—” Jason grimaced and shook his head. “Never mind. I don’t want you worried about him any more than you need to be.”

“No—no, if I see Manny watching someone—I mean, the way he went after Sam and—I want to help. It’ll make me feel better—”

“You are not going to help,” Jason cut in sharply. “Don’t get involved. Stay safe.”

Safe. She scowled. “Oh, you mean, safe at the hospital? Where Manny grabbed me in the first place? Listen, if I see Manny hurting someone, what do you expect me to do? If he starts following someone around, do you think I’m just going to ignore it?”

“No, that would be too easy,” he muttered. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fine. Fine,” he repeated. “If you see something, then you can tell me. Or Lucky, I guess. I don’t want to make problems for you. But do not get involved.”

“I won’t.”

“I mean it, Elizabeth. Stay away from him.”

Elizabeth arched her brow, folded her arms, and glared at him. “How dumb do you think I am?”

“I think that you’re incredibly brave and willing to put your life on the line to save someone else,” Jason said, with an irritated tone that made it sound less like a compliment. “So don’t.”

“If I see something, I’ll tell you.” When he just stared at her because apparently, he knew her better than she remembered, she sighed. “But you can’t be everywhere, Jason. You’re not Superman.”

“Elizabeth—”

“If I see him following someone or just doing something suspicious, I will call you.” She hesitated. “I, uh, don’t have your number. You—” Her cheeks flushed. “You changed it.”

“I had—” Jason took out his phone, went through his contacts, then paused. “I didn’t realize,” he said after a long moment. “I guess—”

“You haven’t needed to get in touch with me,” Elizabeth said with a nod. No point in getting depressed over it. “Yeah. I didn’t know either. Until we were in the middle of the virus, and I wanted to—” She shook her head. “Anyway. I’ll just tell Emily or something—”

“No—” He held out his phone. “Put your number in. I’ll save it now. And then I’ll call you, and you save mine.”

Their fingers brushed as she took the phone, and she nearly fumbled. But she pulled herself together, typed in her number, then pressed send. Her phone rang in her pocket. She handed his phone back to him. Quietly, they both saved each other’s contact information.

“Thank you for letting me know that you’ll have guys here. And when I find Emily, I’m sure she’ll feel safer, too. I should get back to work—”

“Actually—” Jason grimaced. “I was going to ask Emily if she could do me a favor, but—she’s not here. And I’d rather get it done as soon as possible. Would you mind—”

“Sure.” Elizabeth folded her arms and offered him a smile. “What’s up? What do you need?”

“I need a DNA test run,” Jason said after a long moment. “Without any names attached. Or anyone knowing. Is…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Is that something you’d be willing to do? If you can’t—I mean, I know you’re married. To a cop,” he added as if it hadn’t been implied in the first half of the statement. “Or it might be against hospital rules—”

“It probably is,” Elizabeth admitted. “Patrick owes me a favor, and he won’t ask questions. I promise. You can—” She met Jason’s eyes, swallowed hard. “You can trust me.”

“I always could,” Jason said. He cleared his throat. “I’ll get you the samples then.” He started for the door, then turned back. “Thanks.”

“Any time.”

January 1, 2020

This entry is part 4 of 4 in the The Next Best Thing

Don’t read the last page
But I stay when it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes
I want your midnights
But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day
Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you
Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you
Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you
And I will hold on to you
New Year’s Day, Taylor Swift


Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Corinthos Villa: Living Room

Sonny adjusted the hem of his shirt, a bit nervous now and wishing he’d called the whole thing off a thousand times before he heard the car pull into the drive outside the house early the next afternoon.

“They’re nice pictures,” Neil said in the bland tone that Sonny loathed. He nodded towards the mantel over the fireplace that Sonny never lit. He’d found Sonny staring at the photos Elizabeth had left him and talked him into putting them somewhere Sonny could look at them all the time.

So, there they were — a trio of reminders of a man Sonny didn’t think he could ever be again, but he was smiling in all of them—standing with Jason and Elizabeth, standing with Elizabeth, and…

Holding his daughter.

That was the one that Sonny wasn’t sure about. Was it really a good idea for him to see that photo every day? A reminder of what he’d given up?

“Sonny?”

He turned as Anais, his housekeeper, opened the front door and Jason came in first, followed by Courtney. Behind him, Elizabeth had their children. Evie held one of her hand and little Jake clutched at her other hand—

And the third child–

Cameron stalked into the room, scanned it with his blue eyes, then locked on Sonny’s suspiciously. “You don’t have any toys.”

“Uh…” Sonny blinked. “No.”

Cameron turned the glare on Jason. “What am I supposed to do then? This is a dumb vacation. No snow. No tree. No toys. Sharing a room with a—”

And before Cameron could finish that statement, little Jake scowled and launched himself at his brother—as much as a toddler ever could. “NOT A BABY!” Jake screeched as he kicked and punched. With a grunt, Cameron fought back.

“Oh, God, I can’t take them anywhere,” Elizabeth moaned. She shoved Evie at Courtney as she and Jason waded in to separate their sons.

Courtney’s face, nervous and pale, relaxed into laughter as she swung Evie into her arms. “I only get to see them on holidays and birthdays,” she told Sonny. To Evie, she said, “Are they always like this?”

Evie sighed with the weariness of a girl much older than four. “It’s a constant trial,” she said in a confidential tone to Courtney and Sonny. “That’s what Mommy always tells Aunt Em.”

Sonny snickered and waited as Jason and Elizabeth finally managed to pry the boys away from each other—Cameron still kicking and swinging while Jake twisted and growled, trying to get Elizabeth to release her grip on his waist.

“Cameron Hardy Morgan,” Jason told Cameron sternly. “How many times have we told you not to call Jake a baby?”

“HE IS A BABY!” Cameron cried, stomping his foot. He turned, momentarily released from Jason’s grip and started for Jake again but Jason grabbed his collar and held him back. “HE HIT ME FIRST DADDY THIS ISN’T FAIR WHY IS IT ALWAYS MY FAULT!” the words came out in a desperate jumble as the wail climbed to pitching shriek.

“I am so sorry,” Elizabeth said—more grunted as Jake tried to break free of her grip. “They do this all the time now—”

“NOT A BABY!” Jake’s wail cut into her apology as he kicked Elizabeth hard in the shins and went for Cameron again.

“Son of—” Elizabeth winced as Jason’s face flushed with true irritation now. “Jacob Martin Morgan, you’re gonna get it now—”

“Oh, man. They’re in trouble now,” Evie told Sonny leaning over from Courtney’s arms. “Boys are so dumb.”

Jason tucked one boy under each arm and sighed at Sonny. “Excuse me. I need to go…duct tape them to chairs or something.”

“NOT A BABY!” Jake continued to repeat as Cameron continued to complain, their voices fading as Jason carried them out into the courtyard and towards stairs.

Still wincing from Jake’s kick, Elizabeth started to limp towards the sofa. Sonny hurried to take her arm and help her sit down.

“Well, that was a fantastic first impression,” she said with a bright smile as she sat down. “I’m sorry. I promise you we didn’t raise them like that on purpose.”

“No, I didn’t think you did.” But oddly, Sonny felt better now having witnessed the Morgan family drama. He couldn’t really explain it, but now when he looked at Evie, still in his sister’s arms, he didn’t feel the crushing pressure anymore.

“You must be Evie.”

“Can I gets down now, Aunt Court?” Evie asked her. “I have to meet Birth Daddy and tell him stories. He should see my new dress.”

“Of course.” Courtney set Evie on her feet. The little girl carefully smoothed down the organza purple dress she’d insisted on wearing today.

“Mommy taught me all about meeting new people,” Evie told Sonny. She stuck out her tiny hand. “I’m Evangeline Grace Morgan. Mommy said you called Michael Corinthos, Jr, but you don’t like that name.”

“Everyone calls me Sonny,” he said as he sat on the sofa, so he’d be eye level with his daughter and shook Evie’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“I gots a nickname—” She wrinkled her nose. “I have a nickname, too. Evie. I like it. Do you like my name? How about my dress?”

She twirled around. “Mommy said I could wear whatever I wanted.”

“You look very pretty, and I like your name a lot.” Sonny took a deep breath. “It’s a very nice dress.”

Pleased with that, Evie climbed onto the sofa between him and Elizabeth while Courtney drifted over to the corner to stand with Neil who had been quietly watching it the scene unfold.

“Mommy told me you were very sick. She tells me my special story every time I want it,” Evie said. “She said that my Birth Mommy held me tight and made lots of wishes for me. She said Birth Mommy loved me a lot. That she picked Daddy to keep me, and that you picked Daddy, too. Because you were sick and couldn’t take care of me.”

“That’s…” Sonny looked at Elizabeth with a grateful smile before looking back at Evie. “Yes. I was sick for a long time. And your…birth mother loved you a whole lot, Evie. She always wanted to make sure you were loved and taken care of.” There were days when Sonny still resented Sam for what she’d done, but looking at Evie—

At the beautiful little girl with her pretty dress, her poise, and sunny smile—how could Sonny think Sam had been wrong to put Evie first? No matter what her methods, Sam had always been thinking of her daughter.

“Your birth mommy picked your daddy because he was the best man she knew. And I said okay because he’s the best man I know,” Sonny told her. “Is that part of Mommy’s story?”

Evie nodded. “She tells good stories, don’t she? My favorite part is next because then Daddy and Mommy fell in love and I got to have Mommy. Sometimes I like my brothers. Not today, because today they are very dumb.”

“Boys can be that way sometimes,” Sonny said.

“I hope you’re feeling better,” Evie told him. “But if it’s okay, can I stay with Mommy and Daddy? At least until I’m older. Maybe when I’m ten I can come live with you.”

Sonny’s breath caught and he looked at Elizabeth who looked as surprised as he felt. “I—” He struggled to form words before looking at Evie again. “You can stay with your mommy and daddy forever. I—would never take you away.”

“Good.” Evie nodded, then pursed her lips, considering him. After a moment she climbed into his lap and put her arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you. Daddy said we all choosed each other, but I’m not dumb. I know you had to say okay. And you said okay. So, thank you.”

Sonny gingerly wrapped his arms around Evie, around his daughter, and closed his eyes. “You’re welcome.”

Evie pulled away and settled more comfortable in his lap before looking at her mother. “Mommy, you should go get my Barbies. I spent all morning making up a story to tell Birth Daddy.” She fluttered those pretty lashes at him, looking so much like her mother, Sonny’s heart skipped a beat. “Mommy said you wanted to hear my stories.”

“There is nothing I want more in the world than to hear your stories. As many as you want to tell me.”

Corinthos Villa: Hallway

Leaving Evie to tell Sonny the elaborate story she’d created for him and knowing she’d be safe with Neil and Courtney in the room, Elizabeth went to track down the rest of her family.

She found Jason leaning against a closed door, his hand wrapped around a knob holding it closed. She could still hear Jake and Cameron inside, screaming at each other.

“You locked them in there together?” she asked with a raised brow. “Bold strategy. Either they figure it out or we’re down a kid.”

“Still solves our problem.” Jason sighed, but most of his irritation had faded. “How is it going?”

“She’s telling Sonny her story now, and I think he’s actually impressed by it.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “It’s going well. She hugged him and told him her special story. He told her she can live with us forever.”

“I wish I’d been down there, but you…” Jason shook his head. “You’ve been doing better with Sonny all along on this.”

“Yeah, well, you know, some of my damage matches his.” Elizabeth smirked as one of the boys tried to open the door. Jason just pulled it shut again. “How many times have they tried that?”

Now she heard maniacal giggling from inside as they pulled the door again. Jason let it open a few inches before pulling it closed again. The giggling continued.

“This is our third time—I think this time they might actually stop yelling at each other.” Jason looked at her, his brow furrowed. “You’re not damaged.”

“What? Oh.” Elizabeth leaned against the wall, looked out over the railing that led to the courtyard. She loved the open way this house was designed—that she could see the ocean from literally any spot. “Sure I am. I’m okay now, but I wasn’t always. You know that. It’s how I could talk to him before. We just…we’ve hit some of the same dark moments. I know what worked to get me out of the hole, so I’m just hoping it…helps him.”

“Daddy?” Cameron’s tiny voice interrupted whatever Jason was going to say. “I’m sorry. Can we come out now?”

Jason sighed, then released the doorknob. Cameron pulled it open and stared out of them, his t-shirt pulled out of his jeans and his hair was askew. Beside him, Jake had a red line on his face that looked like—possibly—someone had painted him with lipstick.

“I don’t know. Can you stop fighting?” Elizabeth asked with a roll of her eyes. “Jake, what happened to your face? Where did you even get make up—Never mind.”

Cameron sniffled as Jason and Elizabeth entered the guest room where pillows and blankets had been strewn all over in apparent battle to the death. While Elizabeth took Jake into the bathroom to clean up, Jason put Cam on the bed and sat next to him.

“You’ve been fighting a lot with Evie and Jake lately,” Jason said as he watched Elizabeth wash Jake’s face and frown when the lipstick just smeared. “What’s going on?”

“Dunno,” Cameron muttered.

“Cam.”

Cameron looked up at Jason, his blue eyes suspicious. “How come you never telled me I was adopted? You telled Evie all the time.”

“I—” Jason frowned as Elizabeth paused, looking at them with worry. She switched off the faucet. “I don’t know. We don’t—I don’t think about it a lot, Cameron.”

“Kid at school tolded me before,” Cameron finally muttered. “He telled—said you not my real daddy. My real daddy was a bad guy who got killed by the police.”

“What?” Elizabeth demanded, striding forward, her face pale. “What? Who? When?” She looked at Jason, distressed, matching how he felt. Cameron was only four and really not ready for this conversation.

“I don’t gots a birth daddy like Evie who was sick or a mommy who died and loveded me. That’s why I don’t gots a real story like her.” Cameron sniffed, but tears were already sliding down his face. “You pickeded her for real. And Jake is really yours.”

You’re really mine,” Jason said roughly. He slid off the bed and knelt in front of him. “I chose you—”

“You chose Mommy and got stuck with me.” Cameron swiped at his tears. “That’s what Michael—” He closed his mouth, pressing lips together as Elizabeth scowled.

“Michael who?” she demanded but Jason just looked at her and shook his head.

“Michael telled me I’m not really his cousin. Evie’s his real sister, and Jake is his real cousin because his birth daddy and you are really brothers. But I’m not a real Morgan.” Cameron frowned at them. “So, you’re not really my daddy—”

“I am your father.” Jason took a deep breath, fighting back the irritation for Carly’s son, wondering what the hell the kid had been thinking. He’d loved Michael like his own—how could he say such things to a little boy? “Cameron—”

Jake climbed onto the bed and put his arms around his brother. “Brother,” he said, clearly distressed, but not really having the words to help. “No cry.”

“Look at me, Cameron—” Jason took Cameron’s chin in his hand so that the boy met his eyes. “I chose you, too. Of course I did. The day you came to live with me…” He took Cameron’s hand and wrapped it around his thumb. “You took my hand like this and wouldn’t let go. And I knew I wouldn’t let you go either. We chose each other.” “

Cameron frowned down at their hand. “But I’m still not a real Morgan. Michael said—”

“Michael is wrong,” Jason said firmly. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about because I’m not a real Morgan, either. It’s just a name. I picked it when I moved out because I wanted to start over. It didn’t even mean anything to me then.”

“But it’s a name that matters now,” Elizabeth said, sitting on Jake’s other side. “Because your daddy picked it to make his own family. Did you know you were a Morgan before I was?”

“What?” Cameron sniffled. “How?”

“We started the adoption process for you two days after your father asked me to marry him. And that’s the first Christmas present I got him.”

“She had your Grandpa Edward make all kinds of phone calls so that we could have it by Christmas,” Jason told him. “The first present I opened was the papers that said you were my son. That your name was Cameron Morgan. You were my son before I married your mother. Your adoption was final before your mother even adopted Evie.”

He swept Cameron into his arms and hugged him with all the breath in his body, relieved when the little boy returned his embrace, hugging him back. “You are my son. Blood doesn’t matter in this family. Only choice. I would choose you, your mother, and your brother and sister every day if I could. I will always choose you.”

Cameron pulled back, his lip trembling again. He searched Jason’s eyes as if looking for a lie. Then his eyes cleared, and he grinned.  “Can we choose a dog then?”

Jason laughed and hugged him again. “Let’s talk about that back home.”

Corinthos Villa: Living Room

While Jason and Elizabeth were packing up their kids, Neil asked if Jason and Courtney would stay behind while Elizabeth took the kids home. Sonny was confused and a bit irritated by his request, but Jason and Courtney both agreed.

“I just thought it would be nice if Jason could clarify the reason Courtney hasn’t visited before now,” Neil said to Sonny as he took a seat. “And it might easier for you and Jason to talk if the kids aren’t here.”

Sonny glared at his doctor, then looked at his sister. “Jason doesn’t need to do anything.” He looked at his sister and took a deep breath.  “I’m sorry I was rude last night. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Sonny—”

Jason held up a hand to hold off Courtney’s protest. “No, Neil’s right. Courtney wanted to come. She asked me a thousand times, Sonny. If she could have gotten on the island without me, she would have. She wanted to be here with you. I didn’t let her.”

“I—” Sonny exhaled slowly, looked at Courtney. “I believed you last night. I just…don’t know why you’d bother. We’re not…we were never close.”

“No, but that doesn’t mean we’re not family.” Courtney folded her arms. “You’re not alone, Sonny. And it’s important that you know that.” She lifted her chin in Jason’s direction. “And I hope I have free reign to travel here as often as I want now.”

“I…” Jason hesitated, looked at Sonny, bowed his head.

“I think you’d probably still want to check in with Jason,” Sonny said after a long moment. “Because sometimes I’m…not pleasant to be around.”

Courtney scowled. “But—”

“I should have let you come before this,” Jason told her. “So yes, you’ll have clearance. But sometimes I’ll shut it down, and you have to trust me.”

“Fine.” Courtney nodded. “Okay. I’ll…I’m going to walk back to the villa. I’ll be back tomorrow,” she told Sonny with a jab of her finger. “We’re going to celebrate New Year’s together if it kills you.”

He accepted a light hug from her, then Courtney left. Neil got to his feet. “I’ll walk her over. I think the two of you will do better if I’m not in the room.”

“Neil—” Sonny stood in a rush. “Wait—”

“Good night,” the doctor called over his shoulder as he left. Sonny scowled. He turned back to Jason who was also standing, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans.

Sonny cleared his throat. “Thank you,” he said finally. “For bringing Evie. For bringing all of them. It was…you’ve got great kids.”

“Most of the time,” Jason agreed, but he was smiling as he said it. “And thank Elizabeth. This was…she made the decision. It was her idea.”

“She told me that, but if either of one of you had said no, you wouldn’t be here. I’m glad…” Sonny waited a moment, trying to formulate what he was thinking and make sure it came out right. “I’m glad you and her worked out this time. I…see you with the kids, with her, and I just…it used to make me angry to know you were going to be so happy. Because I wanted that. I wanted it for me. For me and my boys.”

“I know you did, Sonny. I understood that.”

“It used to make me angry,” Sonny repeated. “And maybe there will still be days when it does, but man, you know, today, it just makes me proud.” He looked at Jason, remembering the boy he’d been that night in the parking lot at Luke’s. The angry man without a past. “I know how far you had to climb to get where you are. I know how hard you—and Elizabeth—worked. So, I’m happy for you. Proud of you.”

Jason swallowed hard. “Thank you.”

“I don’t know what my future is going to look like,” Sonny said after another moment. “But, you know, Elizabeth told me I had to find a reason to get through each day. So today, I wanted to meet Evie. And tomorrow…I think I just want to see your kids again, and watch Cameron take on the world.”

He managed a grin at the thought. “Yeah, I kind of think it might be fun to see that one grow up and see where he goes. He’s a great kid, Jason.”

“He is,” Jason agreed. “I want you there to see them grow up. To see who Evie and Cam turn out to be. And Jake.”

“Maybe I don’t ever get another chance with Michael or Morgan. I…I don’t know how that’s going to feel later,” Sonny admitted. “But…I don’t know, I think maybe you and Elizabeth might let me be part of your life. Even just a few times a year. That…I could make that enough. For now.”

He crossed over the mantel, took down the photo of the three of them at the engagement party. “Maybe I don’t ever get to be this guy again, but…maybe that’s okay.” He looked at Jason. “Maybe I get to be someone better. I’ll…take my meds, Jase. I won’t stop again.”

Sonny sighed when Jason said nothing. “At least, I won’t stop taking them on purpose. I can’t really promise more than that.”

“It’s enough, Sonny.” Sonny looked at him, met Jason’s gaze. “Today, that can be enough. It’s more than I thought we’d get before. I’m glad you met Evie. That we came here.”

“I’m glad, too. You…you made the right decision three years ago, Jase. I think…maybe it would still be easier for all of us if you’d…just let me end it.” Sonny paused, then added, “But I’m glad you don’t have to live with that. It’s not fair to ask you to take that on. So, thank you. For being stronger than me.”

He put the photo back on the mantel. “I’m proud of you, and the man you grew into. I hope one day…you’ll be proud of me, too.”

Morgan Villa: Bedroom

Jason found all three kids asleep when he returned home—even though Cameron’s favorite movie was still playing as he sprawled out over his bed, one of his Ghostbusters figures clutched in his hand. He tucked in all three of them, then went to find Elizabeth out on the balcony.

“Hey.”

She turned to smile at him. “Hey. How did it go?”

“Okay, I think.” He wrapped his arm around her waist and drew her back against him, so they were both facing the water. “I don’t know what happens next, but I think it’ll be better than before.”

“I hope so. I want to come down again in a few months. And I want to get Sonny a cell phone so he can talk to Evie or we can send him pictures more. We can make videos—I want him to be a part of all of this, Jason.” She sighed. “I don’t want him to be alone again.”

“He won’t be. He had a good day today, and I ran into Neil on the way back. He thinks we’re making progress. But I’m not going to shut him out again.” Jason exhaled slowly. “He told me he was glad I didn’t…let him kill himself. That I don’t have to live with that. He didn’t say he was glad to be alive.”

“But it’s something,” Elizabeth said. She twisted in his arms so that they were face to face. “He just needs to find one thing every day to get him through it. Maybe I’ll call him every day for a while. Or you will. We can do a schedule with Courtney—”

He cut off her words with a kiss. “I love you,” he murmured against her mouth.

“I love you, too. We’re going to get through this, Jason. As long as we’re together, there’s nothing you and I can’t do.” She framed his face with her hands, looking into his eyes.

“What did you tell Cameron? Morgans stick.” He kissed her forehead. “You know, that name didn’t mean anything to me when I picked it. I just didn’t want to be Jason Quartermaine anymore. I gave it to Michael for a little while, but I always knew that wouldn’t last. But Cameron—it meant something to see his name and mine together on the adoption papers. For us to get married. To share that name. I don’t know why.”

“Because we got to choose our family,” she murmured. “I chose you. And I would choose you every day for the rest of my life.”

Jason kissed her, lingering over her mouth as the waves crashed around them. She smiled at him. “It’s another perfect moment,” she told him. “With our babies safe and sound, sleeping over there. Sonny taking another step towards recovery, and the world back in Port Charles waiting for us…” She linked her fingers at the nape of his neck. “Maybe this time it’ll stick.”

“Even if it doesn’t,” he told her, leaning down for another kiss. “We will. What did we tell Cam? Morgans stick.”

She grinned. “Cameron’s going to make that his motto, and the next time he sees Michael, he’s probably going to shove in the mud. I think our kid can take Carly’s even if Michael is six years older.”

“I think our kid can take anyone,” Jason told her with a laugh. “He gets that from you.” He stepped back, took her hand, and led her back into the house, towards their bedroom.

Elizabeth rolled her eyes as she followed him. “Yeah, because you’re known for being a pushover.”

“I am when it comes to you.”

She laughed, closed the bedroom door, and gave him a light push onto the bed. “Smooth. Nice recovery.”

 

THE END (again)


 

Thank you for joining me on this return to Jason & Elizabeth from The Best Thing. It was fun to return to these characters and this world, particularly to get a glimpse of the Morgan family as it grows. A lot of the Cam, Evie, and Jake stuff was taken directly from my own nieces and nephews.

The argument that Cam and Jake have in Part 3 is literally the same argument that my nephews had on Christmas Eve. Also, my middle nephew is obsessed with Ghostbusters, so I thought it’d be fun to bring that into the story. He loves the “girls” Ghostbusters though, Abby being his favorite, and gets very angry if you suggest girls can’t be Ghostbusters.

I don’t think we’ll return to this family again unless I have a solid plan for a sequel but it was nice to put Sonny on a better road to recovery than we left in 2016 with the end of The Best Thing. I’ll see you guys in mid-May with Book One of For the Broken Girl!

 

December 31, 2019

This entry is part 3 of 4 in the The Next Best Thing

Well I met someone who touched my soul
And made my world brand new
There’s a part of me, a place inside
That now belongs to you
The love we found, the love we found
We carry with us so we’re never quite alone
When Love Is Found/It Feels Like Christmas, A Muppet Christmas Carol


Monday, December 29, 2008

 West Plana Cays: Sonny Corinthos’ Villa

 Sonny had built the villas on the private island he controlled during the long year he’d lived in exile after leaving Brenda at the altar. He’d built his to be open — every single room had a door to the outside world, whether it was to the courtyard at the center or the beach that surrounded three sides.

It had had been his dream home, a place where he’d thought he’d escape from the pressures of being Sonny Corinthos. He’d even built a place for Jason to have when he came down to the island so that Sonny would remain alone here in the paradise he’d built.

He’d never thought he’d be imprisoned in it. That his entire world would stop at the water’s edge.

“Sonny.”

The quiet voice of the latest doctor hired by his jailer didn’t make Sonny turn around. Neil Winters was nice. He was quiet. And he didn’t pretend to have all the answers. Sonny appreciated that. It made it bearable for get through the sessions the doctor held three times a week. He flew in from Miami just to take care of Sonny’s fractured psyche.

If Jason wanted to waste his money pretending there was some kind of end to any of this that wasn’t a bullet in Sonny’s brain, Sonny figured he might as well let him.

“Yeah?” Sonny said. He heard Neil’s soft footsteps draw closer as the doctor joined him at the edge of the railing in Sonny’s suite of rooms overlooking the ocean.

“A plane just landed at the air strip,” Neil said. “I thought you might be interested in who was on board.”

Sonny frowned now—because this he hadn’t seen coming. Jason had just flown back to Port Charles a week earlier and he hadn’t expected to see him again until the spring.

Or the next time Sonny stopped taking his meds and tried to throw himself over the railing and make it all stop.

“Who?” Sonny demanded.

“Jason came back,” Neil said. “And he’s not alone.”

The spit in Sonny’s mouth dried as he tried to work through what meant. Was it one of the guys? Maybe Bernie. The Abrams brothers had worked for him for years and he was sure Bernie still had some fondness for him. Or maybe Tommy or Max, one of the guys that had come up working for Sonny.

Was that supposed to cheer him up?

“He brought his family,” Neil continued. “And yours. Your sister is with him. And so is Evangeline.”

Evangeline.

Sonny closed his eyes. The little girl he hadn’t seen since the engagement party, dressed in ruffles and bows to celebrate the engagement of her then-guardian. Sonny had looked at the little girl with Sam’s pretty black hair and his dark brown eyes and thought—one day, one day he’d show the whole world that he was healed and get to be part of her life.

He’d get to be her father.

“Why?” Sonny managed. “Why would Elizabeth let him bring her—”

“Jason brought his entire family,” Neil clarified. “His wife and all three of the children. You haven’t met his youngest son yet, have you?”

Jason had another son. A child of his own blood. Sonny knew that. Somewhere in his brain he’d known Elizabeth and Jason’s lives had gone on. That the set of toddlers he’d seen that August night were now small children.

Just like he knew his boys had grown. Michael was nearly—no, he’d turned eleven, hadn’t he? And Morgan—Morgan would be five. Had just had his birthday in October.

The world in Port Charles, the world on the other side of the ocean had just…kept going. It had kept turning.

And now Jason had brought a piece of that world here—why? Why would he be so cruel?

He must have said this last part out loud because Neil furrowed his brow and tilted his head to the side. “Why is it cruel to bring his family to visit you, Sonny?”

Sonny pressed his lips together and shook his head. “I’m not playing this game—”

“I’m sorry, but Anais said I should just come up.”

Sonny turned at the sound and saw his sister standing there. He hadn’t seen Courtney since…

He didn’t know. Maybe when he’d been in the hospital, but so much of that period was foggy, stolen from him in a haze of medication and psychosis.

She looked…good. Her blonde hair had been cut shorter than it’d been three years earlier, swinging just below her shoulders. She wore a pair of jeans and a thin sweater, likely as a nod to the warmer weather here on the island.

Courtney stepped closer to him, coming into the soft light of the balcony and smiled hesitantly at the doctor. “You must be Dr. Winters. Courtney Matthews.” She held out her hand.

“Are you his sister? Jason said you’d be coming by first.”

“Yeah, it’s a lot more work to unpack a family of five than it is a single woman.” Courtney shook his head, then turned back to Sonny. “It’s—it’s good to finally be here, Sonny.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Really.”

“I wanted to come before, but it wasn’t—” Courtney bit her lip. “I don’t want to blame Jason, because I know he had his reasons, but I tried to get a flight here. I tried to get a boat. But without his clearance…” She lifted a shoulder. “I wanted to come down here with you when you left Ferncliffe. I wanted to help you settle in.”

He didn’t know what to believe. He barely knew this sister of his, outside a single moment of closeness they’d shared in New York, when he’d gone to seek help and she’d pretended to give a damn.

Sonny took a deep breath. “Well, thank you for coming. But you should go home. Tell Jason to take his family and go.”

“Sonny…” Courtney tucked her hair behind hers, then shook her head. “No. I want to be here with you.”

“No, you don’t.” But Sonny was kind when he said it. “And I—I appreciate that you’re trying. That Jason is…I don’t know what, but I’m sure he means well. But there’s no point to this.”

“No point?” she repeated. “Sonny—”

“I’m not worth this trouble,” he said, gently. “Jason knew that when he sent me here. He locked me away because we all knew there was no saving me. No chance that it would get better.”

He turned back to the balcony and thought about just making it clear to them all. Maybe he should just throw himself off. But it was only the second floor, and it wasn’t high enough.

He should have built a tower. He’d die in a fall from a tower. Maybe there were cliffs. Or maybe he could drain the pool—

“Sonny—”

Courtney’s pleading tone broke into his thoughts, and he looked back at her, a bit confused. Was she still here? Why?

“If you and Jason want to do something for me,” Sonny told her, “then maybe you can tell him to leave me a gun and a bullet. Otherwise, this is just a waste of time. For everyone.”

Then he left the balcony, went through his sitting room, and closed his bedroom door behind him.

Morgan Villa: Living Room

“There’s no snow,” Cameron declared with a folding of his arms. He glared at the ocean in front of him. “This isn’t Christmas.”

“Oh, good, I was worried he wouldn’t find anything to complain about in a tropical paradise, but there you go, proof that he’s still my kid.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes and shoved Jake at Jason as one of the drivers brought in the last of their luggage in. “I think the older they get, the more sympathy I have for my parents.”

Jason just laughed and shook his head. “C’mon, Cam, let me show you where you and Jake are gonna sleep—” He took Cameron’s hand and started down the hallway towards the bathrooms as Cameron continued to complain.

“Whoa, time out—I gotta sleep in the same room with him here? This is supposed to be a vacation. Why don’t I ever get break? He’s just a baby! Ow!”

“Jake threw his toy at him,” Evie reported with a sneer as she started to drag her tote full of Barbies toward the sofa. Evie didn’t travel anywhere without her army of dolls.

“Well, he had that coming,” Elizabeth shrugged. She picked up Evie’s suitcase. “C’mon, I’ll take you to your room.”

In Evie’s room, she opened a pocket in the suitcase to take out the pair of frames Evie refused to go anywhere without.

Evie clambered onto the twin bed and picked up the photo of her mother. “Hi, Birth Mommy. I got to go on a plane. I never been on a plane before. Did you go on a plane?”

Elizabeth smiled as Evie continued to chatter to Sam’s photo. She opened a drawer and started to unpack Evie’s clothes. Evie had talked to Sam every day since she’d first heard her story, and she hoped, somewhere, Sam could hear her daughter.

She knew Sam’s fear had been being forgotten—that Sonny and Carly wouldn’t raise Evie to know her—and her desperation and fear had been the tipping for Jason continuing the secret. She hoped somehow Sam knew they’d tried to do right by her.

“How come I don’t have a picture of Birth Daddy?” Evie asked as she carefully placed Sam’s photo next to Jason and Elizabeth’s wedding photo. “Do you gots pictures of them together? Like you and Daddy?”

“I…don’t think so,” Elizabeth said after a long moment. She turned to frown at Evie. “I guess…I don’t know why we never gave you a picture of Sonny. Give me a second.”

She went back into the living room and opened one of the boxes she’d brought to show Sonny. Each of her kids had a huge scrapbook for each year of their lives, and she’d brought all of Evie’s in case Sonny was up for it. Inside Evie’s scrapbook box, she found a box of photos that she kept with the books and took it back to Evie’s room.

Outside of Jake and Cameron’s room, she could hear Jason and Cam talking as Jason struggled to set up the DVD player—Cameron refused to go anywhere without a way to play his beloved Ghostbusters movies.

Smiling now, she returned to Evie’s room and set the box on the bed. “Let’s pick out a picture of your birth daddy—I know just the right one, I think.”

Elizabeth dug to the bottom of the box and pulled out a batch of photos from her engagement party. The last night Sonny had truly been part of her life. “Here’s one of you and Gram Audrey—”

“She was so pretty,” Evie said, tracing the photo. “And look, there’s Grampy and me.” She beamed at Elizabeth holding up a photo of her and Edward. “And there’s Daddy. He looks grumpy. He and Grampy are funny. They’re always making fun of each other.”

“Sure.” Elizabeth held out a photo. “There. That’s you and Sonny, your biological father. He’s holding you at our engagement party.”

“Oh…” Evie smiled at it. “He has dark hair like me. Did I get my hair from him?”

“Maybe. I think you get the color from your mommy, but his hair gets curly, too, when he doesn’t put anything in it. You have his pretty brown eyes.”

“I need a frame, but I think he’ll fit next to Birth Mommy, and then I can tell them both all about my dolls. But…” Evie pursed her lips. “Maybe if Birth Daddy likes me, I can tell him in person. Do you think he’ll want to hear about my dolls? I tell really good stories, Mommy. You should tell him that.”

“I think if your father is feeling up to it, I think there’s nothing more in the world he’d want than to listen you to tell stories with your dolls,” Elizabeth told her. She tugged Evie in her lap and hugged her tightly. “And I’ll tell him that myself. I love you so much.”

“I’m so glad I picked you and you picked me, Mommy. Birth Mommy was so smart to make sure Daddy got to have me, because he picked you, too.” Evie pressed her rosebud lips to Elizabeth’s and gave her a smacking kiss. “Even if I gots dumb Cam, too.”

After Elizabeth finished unpacking Evie’s things, she settled Evie in the boys’ room with her favorite Barbies so Evie could watch Ghostbusters with Cam. She went out to the kitchen where Jason was pouring himself a glass of water.

“Let me talk to Sonny first,” she told him. Jason blinked at her, shook his head.

“No. I let Courtney go over first because I couldn’t—well, I didn’t know how to stop her,” he admitted. “She’s not good at taking no for an answer—” He squinted. “Which is, uh, something that you have in common, so I’m not sure why I tried to say no.”

“I like when you talk yourself out of an argument,” Elizabeth said with an arch of her brow. She climbed onto the stool by the island. “So, I need to see him first.”

“I—” Jason sighed. “It’s just me wanting to protect you that makes me want to say no, you know that. I guess…I just…I don’t know.”

“I don’t know if I can reach him again,” she said. “But I want to try. And you’ve been down here before—but hey, maybe Courtney will get somewhere—”

The sliding glass door to the front of the house opened and they both turned as Courtney came in, her cheeks stained with red. “I’m sorry. I—”

“It didn’t go well,” Jason guessed as he approached his ex-wife. “What happened?”

“He’s…” Courtney shook her head. “You weren’t kidding. He’s suicidal, Jase. He wants you to leave him a gun and a bullet. He told me to tell you to just take the kids and go—for all of us just to go.”

She closed her eyes. “I can’t help him. I don’t even know where to start.”

Jason exhaled slowly. “So, Neil told him we were here—he knows Evie is here—” He looked at Elizabeth. “Maybe we should just…spend a few days here, then go home. Maybe this was a mistake.”

“Maybe,” Elizabeth allowed. She slid off the stool and pulled Courtney into a hug. “I’m sorry, Courtney. I know how much you’ve wanted to come here.”

“I never know how to fix it,” Courtney said, hugging her back fiercely. She pulled back slightly, sniffling. She managed a small smile. “But you might.”

“What?” Elizabeth blinked, stepped back. “Courtney—”

“Something I had to accept a long time ago was one of the reasons Sonny and I couldn’t connect is that he’d never needed a sister. He had Robin, and he had you. He had Jason. He didn’t need a family. You got through to him the last time. He came to me in New York and told me so. That’d you made him feel like he wasn’t alone.”

Courtney stepped back, looked at Jason with a sad smile before looking back at Elizabeth. “You told me once you felt like I’d come into your life and taken it over.”

“Courtney—” Flushing, Elizabeth shook her head. “No, I was—I didn’t mean it.”

“No, I know. You were hurting, but—I think maybe you had a point. I came in and I took your place as someone Sonny could protect. As someone Jason…” She shrugged. “Wanted to be with. But I was a square peg in a round hole. I didn’t fit. You always did. You know Sonny more than I do.”

“You were just saying you thought you might be able to help,” Jason told Elizabeth. “I think Courtney’s right.” He traded an uncomfortable look with his ex. “I don’t want to go home without trying everything. Courtney’s tried. I tried.”

“I guess I’m all that’s left.” Elizabeth sighed. “Okay, but I need you to put a few things in the car.”

Sonny’s Villa: Living Room

Elizabeth didn’t go upstairs to meet Sonny on his own turf in his bedroom. Instead, she lugged in her box of scrapbooks, pulled out the one she was working on for Jake’s birthday in May and waited.

She’d met Neil Winters about ten minutes after she’d arrived and had told him briefly what she thought she might try to talk to Sonny about. Neil was undecided if it would work but thought it had about as much chance as anything else, so he went upstairs to tell Sonny that it was okay if he didn’t want to talk to Elizabeth right now.

She’d wait until he did.

Neil went to his suite of rooms on the first floor but promised to check in on her in a little while. Elizabeth knew she wouldn’t have to wait long.

It was maybe thirty minutes before she heard Sonny’s footsteps padding down the stairs that lined the outside of the room—then he was inside, walking through one of the archways from the courtyard.

She glanced up from perusing photos of Jake opening Christmas presents but remained seated. “Hey. I have to say, thank you so much for making me wait. Do you know how long it’s been since I had thirty uninterrupted minutes?”

She held up a photo of Jake. “What do you think of this one?”

Obviously irritated, but curious despite himself, Sonny came forward and took the photo from her. “This is…this is Jake, isn’t it?”

“Jacob Martin,” Elizabeth confirmed. “He was only six months old last Christmas, so in a lot of ways this was his first Christmas. And Evie and Cam really got into the Santa thing this year.” She flipped through a few others. “Here—this is the three of them at the Christmas party with Edward playing Santa.”

“Edward, huh? It used to be Tony Jones,” Sonny said. He gingerly sat next to her and picked up the photo she offered. “They’re…so big now.”

“Yeah, Cam turned four in May, Evie in November. She looks so much like you and Sam.” Elizabeth considered his hair. “She wanted to know if I thought she got her hair from you or Sam.”

“I—” Sonny cleared his throat. “She knows….about me. And Sam.”

“She does. We kept a photo of Sam on her nightstand pretty much since the day I redecorated her room.” Elizabeth sighed. “But she hadn’t seen a photo of you until tonight. I’m sorry about that. I guess…I knew she’d never get to see Sam, you know? And you’re still alive. So, there was always a chance.”

“I know you came here…for something. That she’s with you.” Sonny set the photo down and got back to his feet. “You should go home.”

“If after you and I talk tonight, you still feel that way, we will.” She bit her lip and found another photo of Evie from the Christmas party, sitting on Edward’s lap, looking at him suspiciously. “She’s so smart, Sonny. She’s sitting here, and she knows that Santa’s voice sounds familiar. His eyes are the same. She doesn’t know it’s Grampy, but she knows something isn’t right. I don’t know if we’re going to be able to keep the magic for her as long as I want to.”

A smile tugged at Sonny’s lips as he took the photo. “She’s beautiful.”

“She’s been asking for her special story a lot these days,” Elizabeth told him. She closed Jake’s scrapbook and put it back into the box. “She knows it by heart, but she likes having it told to her. She knows that her birth mother couldn’t stay and that her birth father was too sick to. She knows about you, Sonny. Not as well as she should. But I’m hoping to change that. I don’t have a lot of stories to tell her about Sam, but I have stories about you.”

Sonny exhaled. “What story do you plan to tell her, Elizabeth? The one where I tried to kill Jason? The one where I broke her mother’s heart? Where I gave her away? What story do you want to tell Evie about me?”

“Well, I was going to start with something a bit nicer. I know Luke and Lucky have some stories. And Jason has them, too. She loves stories, Sonny. She wanted to tell me that she tells great stories with her dolls, and she hopes you’ll let her show you.”

“I—” Sonny stared at her. “You mean that, don’t you? You actually think I should be in the same room with that little girl? That I deserve to be? After—” He closed his head, shook it violently. “I deserve to be dead. Jason should have finished the job—”

“Okay.” Elizabeth’s palms were sweating as she got to her feet. “Can I ask you something about that?”

Sonny frowned at her. “What? Why? What?” He squinted. “Elizabeth—”

“I know what you or I would have done if we were faced with that situation. If I’d been Jason, I might have done exactly what you’re suggesting. You know? He told me you’d said it needed to be you or him, and I agreed with you. I told him that before he left. That if it came down to it, if there was a choice—it needed to be him. Jason had to come to home to me. I told him that the Sonny we both loved would agree—”

“I do—”

“Because you and I are different people. We thought there had to be a choice. We think in black and white, which is…” Elizabeth raised her brows. “Ironic, don’t you, think? Because Jason used to be one that thought everything was clear like that. You taught him differently. We both taught him about all the shades in between. So why did either of us ever think he’d make a choice if it came down to it?”

“I…” Sonny pressed a fist to his best. “Because it needs to be over, Elizabeth. And as long as I’m here, stuck here—it’s not over. You deserve this to be over. Everything I did to you, to your family—the day your grandmother was buried, I nearly got your kids killed—” His voice broke. “I don’t deserve to live.”

“For a long time,” Elizabeth said carefully, “I agreed with you. In fact, I think you wouldn’t be surprised to know that part of me still agrees.”

And the relief in Sonny’s face broke her heart—the dizzying relief that finally, someone understood what he’d been screaming for three long years.

“Which is why Jason needs to just…the next time I have a break—when I go off my meds, just let me make it stop—”

“If you think Jason would ever let you go like this…” Elizabeth closed the distance between them, took Sonny’s hand where it still laid against his chest. She wrapped both of her hands around it. “If you think he wouldn’t have let you die three years ago when he could save you, why do you think he wouldn’t keep trying to save you now?”

“Then you need to convince him we’ll all be better off—”

“If he could be convinced, then he’s not the man I fell in love with. That’s not our Jason, Sonny. And you know that.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “I understand, though. What it’s like to think the world is better off without you.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I told you I went to therapy in California, remember? Because I couldn’t understand the life I was living—”

“You really don’t have to do this—” He shook his head.

“After Cameron was born, I thought…I thought I was going to be a terrible mother. That’s part of the reason my aunt wanted me to go to see a therapist. She found me crying in the room I was staying in. I told her I’d be a terrible mother, and the best thing would be if I just…died and someone who would do better would raise my baby.”

“Elizabeth.” Sonny blinked at her, stepped back, his face frozen in horror. “That’s—”

“I never told Jason that, you know.” Her lip trembled a bit. “Don’t tell him, okay? He doesn’t know just how bad it got there. He knows I went to therapy, that I was…that I was low, but sometimes I think he blames himself. I just…I get it, Sonny. I told you years ago I understood what it was like to stand outside of yourself and wish you were anywhere else. I meant that. I know what it’s like to wish it was over. California wasn’t even the first time I thought about suicide.”

Sonny exhaled slowly, looked around. “I need—I need to sit down.”

He made it to the sofa and put his head in his heads. “Elizabeth—”

“I don’t anymore,” she told him. “Therapy really did help. And I started to make better decisions. I started to really put my own mental health first. I asked for things I need. And my family was there. My grandmother, my brother. Of course, Jason.

“That’s part of the reason I feel so guilty about what I’ve put you through—when you told Jason you wished you were dead…” Elizabeth hesitated. “I mean it, Sonny, I’ve never told anyone that. Jason. Emily. Only my aunt and my therapist. I realized that my pain and my trauma was making you feel the way I felt then.”

“But it’s true for me—”

“I’m sure it is,” Elizabeth said. She sat next to him. Reached for his hand again. “That’s what makes it all so terrible, isn’t it? The conviction that no one else really gets it but you. Of course the world would be better off without you, you think. What have you ever brought people but pain and hurt?”

A tear slid down Sonny’s cheek. “So just let me go—”

“The last time we saw each other, at the engagement party…” Elizabeth let his hand go so she could find the picture of them from the party. Just one of her standing with Sonny as they grinned at the photographer. “I haven’t looked at these photos since…since they were developed.”

“Elizabeth—”

“It was such a perfect moment,” she murmured. “My family was perfect. Jason was finally making peace with the Quartermaines. And you—God, Sonny, we had you back. Even though I knew it meant I wouldn’t get to keep Evie—I would get to have you. More—Jason would get to have you. I wanted you at the wedding. Standing beside him. We deserved it. You deserved it.”

“It’s an illusion—”

“Is it?” She licked her lips. “Sonny, it’s hard to convince yourself that you—just you—are enough. You know? That just you being in the world is reason enough to stay. I’m a mother, and there were days when Cameron was first born that I wasn’t sure he was enough to stay. I knew I wasn’t enough. But my aunt and my therapist told me just…give it one more day. Wake up tomorrow. Get through tomorrow. And I did that. I did it day by day. I watched Cameron start to wiggle around, you know? And he smiled at me.”

She looked down at the photograph of her and Sonny. Set it down, and pictured up another of she, Jason, and Sonny posing together. Held it out to him. “Cam’s smile gave me a reason the day after that. I thought—I can do anything if he smiles at me. I just needed a reason. Because eventually, I realized I was enough. It took time, and it was hard. And sometimes, I slid back into old habits. But I found the first thing. I found something to wake up for.”

“Elizabeth—”

“You feel terrible about what happened the day of my grandmother’s funeral. What Cam and Evie—what we all went through. I’m asking you…” She waited until he took the photo of the three of them. “I’m asking to do this for me. It’s okay if it’s not for you today. I’m asking you to look at this photograph.”

He looked down at it, focused on Elizabeth standing between Jason and Sonny, Jason’s grin, on Sonny’s own smile.

“This man wasn’t an illusion, Sonny. This man was Jason’s family. And I want him in our lives. Maybe you’re not him today. And maybe you won’t ever be him again. We’ve been through a lot. You’ve been through hell. But you’re still here. I have to believe it’s for a reason.”

“Elizabeth.”

“It took me so long to forgive you. For the terror of that moment, and now I need you to forgive me.”

“Forgive—” His head snapped up. “Elizabeth, no—”

“Because I knew you were sick. And I punished you for it. It’s because of me you’re still here. Do you know what really turned me around after all those months?” She smiled through her tears. “I came home to Port Charles, and I sat on a bench next to Jason, and we bantered about the smell of snow. I needed to come home. I don’t—I don’t know if that’s the answer for you. But this—staying here, alone, it’s not the answer. I’m asking you to let me, to let Jason—to let us help you find another way—”

She set the photos in front of him, added a third of Sonny and Evie. “I want you to keep these photographs. And use them as reason to get through tonight. Because tomorrow, Evie wants to tell you a story with your dolls, and I think you should let her.”

Sonny closed his eyes. “Okay. Okay. I want to hear Evie’s stories.”

“Good.” Elizabeth took a deep breath. “You won’t be sorry, Sonny. She really does tell the best stories.”

December 30, 2019

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the The Next Best Thing

Oh Christmas lights
Light up the street
Light up the fireworks in me
May all your troubles soon be gone
Those Christmas lights keep shining on
Christmas Lights, Coldplay


Saturday, December 27, 2008

Morgan & Corinthos Warehouse: Jason’s Office

Jason signed the last contract Bernie Abrams, his business manager, handed him, then shoved back from the desk. “Is that everything we need to do before the New Year?”

“Barring emergencies. It’s usually quiet this time of year,” Bernie offered as he placed the paperwork into his briefcase. “Your flight to New York leaves soon, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, but it’s only overnight. I’m having dinner with Carly and the kids for Michael’s birthday, then flying back here in the morning.” Jason grimaced. “Then we’re flying down to the island the day after.” He hesitated. “I guess almost everyone knows I’m taking Evie down to meet Sonny.”

“It’s like a high school locker room out there,” Bernie agreed. “Most of the rank and file don’t care. A lot of them never worked that closely with Sonny anyway. A few…more than a few,” he admitted, “are a bit nervous this might be the first step of something.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Jason pushed his hands into the pockets of his pants and turned to look out the window over the harbor. “That’s part of the reason I had Sonny moved to the island when he was released from Ferncliffe. I knew if he was in Port Charles, there would be problems. I don’t think Zacchara or Ruiz would ever work with him, not after the last time. But there’s always someone who wants to prove himself.”

“Jason—”

“And I can’t promise you that things aren’t going to change. If Sonny were anyone else with bipolar disorder, we wouldn’t be keeping him from his family. From his life.” Jason looked at Bernie. “Maybe it would have been easier if I’d let him pull the trigger and end it four years ago.”

“I’m sure sometimes it feels that way,” the older man said. “And you know, there were a lot of us who thought so at the time. But those of us who knew you, who knew Sonny, we always knew you made the right decision, even if it was ultimately the harder one.” He paused for a long moment. “Do you expect that Sonny will be returning to Port Charles?”

“I don’t know,” Jason admitted. “I know that we can’t leave things the way they are.” He was quiet again and returned to look out the window. “Sonny brought me into this business. And everyday I’m here and not him, it feels like a betrayal. Even though I know it had to be this way. Everyone is safer this way. I had to protect my children. After he went to the Ruizes, after he sent men into the house with guns—”

He’d had to kill a man who had been carrying Evie out the door. His daughter, barely a year old at the time, had seen him shoot a man between the eyes. Cameron, only steps away, had seen him as well. Maybe they didn’t remember it—they’d been so young—but Jason always would carry it with him, the way their screams had grown louder and more shrill as the gunfire exploded around them.

“He’ll be better for months,” Jason continued. “And then he’ll stop taking his meds. He’ll have another breakdown. How do I let him back home where he can try to challenge me for the territory again? How do I open all of us back up to it?”

“But how can you live with yourself if Sonny does something terrible because you kept him locked up?” Bernie finished his thought. “Before, it would have been on your consciousness that you didn’t stop him from pulling that trigger but it wasn’t your fault. Not really. Now…”

“It would be.” Jason took a deep breath. “Nothing is changing here,” he told Bernie. “I’m in charge. Tommy, Johnny, Max, and Francis. They’re seconds in command. Sonny isn’t. And that’s not something I ever plan to change. Wherever Sonny lives, he has to be out of the business. He can’t be trusted. Make sure that’s clear.”

He went to the closet to pull out his jacket and the overnight bag he’d packed for the trip to New York. “I’ll call you if anything changes.”

“Good luck in New York, Jason. And on the island. Give Sonny my best.” Bernie put a hand on the door as Jason twisted the knob to open it. “I mean that, Jason. Sonny was a good friend for a long time, and my brother was devoted to him. Please let him know that.”

“I will.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

 Elizabeth set Jake in his high chair and frowned at her sister-in-law, Emily Cassadine, as she sat alone at the table. “Where’s Spencer?”

“With Laura, thank God. She’s giving me a break.” Emily rolled her shoulders. “Grandparents, man. They are lifesavers.”

“Tell me about it. If Monica didn’t want to spoil Evie and Cam every five minutes, I’d never get a second to myself. And Nora isn’t coming back until the first week in January.” Elizabeth pursed her lips. “But I think we’re going to be losing her anyway. She’s graduating in the spring and Cam and Evie are in school full-time. It’s easier to find baby-sitting for just Jake.”

“And you never liked the idea of having a nanny anyway,” Emily reminded her. “What day are you going back to work?”

“Same day Cam and Evie go back to school. Ava’s supposed to come up in mid-January.” Elizabeth wrinkled her nose at the mention of Ava Jerome, her partner in the art gallery she’d opened two years earlier. “That woman is literally the worst.”

“I remember her from your last show, so you don’t have to tell me.” Emily sipped her hot chocolate. “So, enough small talk. Did Jason leave for New York?”

“Yeah.” Elizabeth checked her watch. “His flight took off about a half hour ago.” She handed Jake his sippy cup filled with fruit juice. “I’m sure Courtney is going to go—she would have gone ages ago if Jason had let her.”

“But you don’t think Carly is going to let the boys go with you guys?”

“No, I don’t. And, you know, I’m not sure I blame her.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Part of me doesn’t want to go at all. We told the kids last night, and Evie was so upset. She thought meeting her birth father meant we were going to give her away. And Jason and I both promised her it didn’t mean that, except—”

“Except this might be the first step to Sonny really getting himself together. And if he can get his meds right, he might come back to Port Charles. Or he might move somewhere else to start over.” Emily hesitated. “What do you think Jason would do about custody?”

“We’ve talked about it. I’m not really worried about Sonny moving somewhere else and asking for custody. He terminated his rights before she was born, and even though he could argue he’d been tricked into doing it, he never did anything about it. The adoption was finalized. I don’t think a judge would take her from us. Not now.”

“Yeah, but that’s not what I asked, is it? I asked you what would Jason do? Because you know, if you hadn’t been involved four years ago—if you hadn’t been there with him through all of that—”

“I don’t know, Em. I don’t think Jason would have given Sonny custody. Not with things the way they were.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “But Jason’s feeling guilty about Sonny struggling on the island. I am, too. I am,” she insisted when Emily looked dubious. “I feel like everything Jason and I have is because we sacrificed Sonny and his happiness.”

“Elizabeth—”

“And I know Jason has kept him on the island because of what happened with Cam and Evie. Because he doesn’t trust that Sonny wouldn’t try to take power back by force. But he’s kept him there because of me. You’re right about that much, Em. If not for me, Jason would still be propping Sonny up and cleaning up after his messes.”

“But you said it was your idea to change things. To bring Evie down to meet him—”

“When Jason called me three years ago and told me that Sonny was in the psych ward, do you know the first thing I felt? Anger. I was so angry at him for putting Sonny first again. Because I knew as long as Sonny lived, we’d have this cloud over our lives.”

“I know that—”

“Even knowing how much Jason loves Sonny, knowing that Sonny isn’t well, that he doesn’t deserve the pain he’s been living in, part of me…” She shook her head. “Still resents him. And resents Jason for doing what I know he had to do. I understand it, and the fact that he was able to do the right thing—I love him for it, Em. I do. But how do I live with myself knowing that selfishness is in me? When Jason has to go to the island to save Sonny again, I get angry all over again because it will never be over.”

Emily said nothing as Elizabeth took a deep breath. “That’s why I have to go to the island. Because I need to put that part of me away. I need to see Sonny again. I need to be able to talk to him. To get some closure. And to separate the man I know he really is from the man who sent armed thugs to my home to kidnap Evie no matter what the cost. I have to get rid of this anger and resentment, Em. Because it’s not fair to Jason.”

“Does he know how you feel?”

Elizabeth managed a smile. “No. I don’t think so. I’m the selfish one, not him. I’ve always told him that the choice he made in that moment, and the choices he’s made since to take care of Sonny—that’s the man I love. If he’d done anything else, he wouldn’t be Jason. He came home this time, Em, worried about Sonny, and I started in with the same old argument, reminding him of all the damage Sonny’s done—but then I stopped myself. I looked at Jason, and I realized he’s bearing the weight of all of this.”

She closed her eyes. “It’s Jason who has to go to the island every few months and tell the man he loves like a father that he can never come home. It’s Jason that has to live with the guilt of knowing he took power from Sonny and locked him up—things Sonny feared more than anything else. And I had to stop. I have to stop letting Jason carry this. Because it’s my burden, too. I walked into Jason’s life and this crap with Sonny with my eyes wide open. I promised him I’d take it on. And I haven’t.”

“Elizabeth—”

“It stops now, Em. It has to. I need to be able to live with myself and look at my daughter, knowing I did the right thing. Jason did the right thing three years ago even though by any measure, letting Sonny kill himself would have made everything easier. It’s my turn to do it now. I love Jason, and I need to do what’s right. Even if it makes everything worse.”

New York City

 Jacks Penthouse: Living Room

 Carly Corinthos-Jacks had fled Port Charles three years earlier with little more than her boys and the clothes on her back. With a later divorce settlement in hand, she’d gone into business with Jasper Jacks and opened one of the best hotels in the city. Despite Jax’s misgivings, they’d flourished as business partners.

This January, they’d celebrate their first wedding anniversary.

But she’d never forgotten Jason or the support he’d given her as Carly had waged a path of destruction through Port Charles, so when he asked to come down to New York to talk to her about Sonny, something he hadn’t done in three years, Carly agreed.

They were never going to be as close as they once were, but Jason visited every year for Morgan and Michael’s birthdays, and this year, Carly and her family had been invited back to Port Charles for his children’s birthdays — Cam and Jake both celebrating in May, and Evie in November.

Holidays and birthdays — it was more than Carly ever thought they might share and she was willing to accept it.

She offered him a beer, then poured herself a glass of water before they sat in the living room, in front of the ten foot tall Christmas tree she’d decorated with the boys.

“Michael is going to be so excited to see you when he gets back from ice skating with Jax,” Carly told him. “He’s missed you. So has Morgan, but—”

“Michael knows me better,” Jason said, and Carly knew Jason would also have a soft spot for the little boy he’d raised and loved as his own. “How was Christmas?”

“Good. A little sad,” Carly admitted. “It was Michael’s first year not believing in Santa, but he kept up the pretense for Morgan. I appreciated it.” She sipped her water. “You?”

“Good. Cam and Evie are fighting all the time now. Elizabeth thinks it’s because they’re so close in age, but it’s…” Jason shook his head. “They remind me of the Quartermaines,” he admitted. “They’ll fight viciously with each other, but man, the minute you threaten one of them—”

“They protect each other.” Carly took a deep breath, relieved that the resentment she’d once felt towards the little girl had faded into nothing but the wisp of memory and regret. “You’ve done such a great job with both of them, Jase. No one would ever believe they’re not yours.” When Jason opened his mouth, she hurried to add, “By blood, I mean. Though…I’m small enough to be happy that you finally have Jake.”

Jason shook his head. “None of that ever mattered to me.”

“I know that.” She bit her lip. “I’m not sure how to explain it. I guess—I don’t know. You’ve taken such good care of my kids. And Cam and Evie—you’ve been there with them from the nearly start of their lives, but I guess—I mean, with Jake, you got to do it all, right? Finding out about having him. The pregnancy—I mean, it was different, right?”

“I guess.” Jason frowned. “I don’t love him differently or more because he’s my biological son, but yeah, okay. I guess I see what you’re getting at. Elizabeth and I got to do it all together. Even—” He hesitated. “Even when we almost…”

“When you almost lost her,” Carly murmured, remembering her mother’s frantic call that Elizabeth had nearly died during labor due to blood loss. “I guess it’s on my mind because of this last year with Jax. He’s come in so late with Morgan and Michael, but he adores them. I’ll never doubt that. But…” She pressed a hand to her abdomen. “He gets to do it from the start now, too. I’m pregnant.”

Jason grinned, leaned over to hug her with one arm. “Congratulations.”

“Yeah, we’ve been trying for a few months, so…” Carly took a deep breath. “And man, it’s nice to kind of do it right. No paternity tests. No drama. Pretty sure Jax isn’t going to shoot me in the head as I’m delivering the baby.”

“Probably not,” he agreed with a wince. “I’m glad things are going well for you, Carly. I am.”

“Me, too, even though most of the time I know I don’t deserve it.” Carly hesitated. “You’re here to talk to me about Sonny. And since you asked that Courtney come to dinner, I guess it’s bad news.”

“It’s not…” Jason shook his head, stared down at his beer. “It’s not bad news. Not the way you think.” He set the beer on a coaster on the coffee table and got to his feet. “I was called down to the island a few weeks ago. Sonny had another psychotic break. The doctor told me he’d gone off his meds again.”

As he had every three or four months since moving to the island, but Carly said nothing. They’d had this conversation a few times. “Is he okay now?”

“Yeah. They sedated him and gave him his meds by force. Again.” Jason grimaced. “I hate that. I do. I know Sonny hates it, too. But he gave me his power of attorney for things like that, so…” He shook his head. “If it were just another episode, I’d have called you about it. We got a new doctor after the last one, remember?”

“I do.”

“He told me that one of the reasons Sonny can’t seem to stabilize is…” Jason looked at her. “Because he doesn’t want to. Because when he’s lucid, he realizes he can’t leave the island.”

“He realizes we’ve locked him up,” Carly murmured. She closed her eyes. “It doesn’t have to be a closet, I guess, for it to feel like one.”

“And it starts the cycle over again. He’s powerless to change it and knows the only way he gets off the island is if I let him, and he has no reason to believe I will.”

“Not after what happened three years ago.” Carly rubbed her chest. “Jason—” She just looked at him, knowing the horror of it was in her eyes. Didn’t they know exactly what torment Sonny was dealing with? Hadn’t they always known what was at the root of Sonny’s worst fears?

Being weak. Being alone. Being locked up.

And they’d done it all to him.

“I know.” Jason paced the length of the room. “I saw Sonny and he said—he told me I should have let him die. That I should just let him end it. He’s a ghost anyway.”

Carly looked around at her home, at the photos on her mantel of her family, the world she’d built after leaving Port Charles. Then she looked back at Jason, knowing he was feeling the same. “We did this to him, you know. The two of us. We should have gotten him help ages ago. But I was selfish, and you were too loyal. Then I made it worse—”

“We both made it worse, Carly. By hiding, by pretending it was anything other than a serious illness.”

“You still let me off the hook too easily,” she told him, but smiled as she said it. She stood. “So what do we do now?”

“Elizabeth and I are taking the kids to the island for New Year’s. We’re going to let Sonny spend some time with Evie.”

Carly blinked, shook her head. “Are—are you sure that’s the right thing to do? Jase—”

“I don’t know if it is. But I’m not ready to just…bring him home,” Jason told her. “And short of that, I don’t know what else could help except trying to make him feel less alone. That helped him last time. When he went to New York to look for help—I mean, he got the wrong diagnosis—”

“But he looked for help because of Elizabeth. Because she told him about going to therapy in California,” Carly said, remembering the conversation she’d had with Jason’s then-fiancée. “And you’re here to ask if…we’ll go, too?”

And what if he was? Was she ready to do this again? To put her boys in the middle?

“Mostly, I wanted to ask Courtney to come with us this time,” Jason told her. “Because I know she’s been waiting to go, and I want Sonny to know the only reason Courtney hasn’t been there before is me. I know you might not be ready. I’m not even sure Elizabeth and I are ready.”

“But you want me to think about it.” She folded her arms. “If it goes well with Evie, you want Sonny to know Michael and Morgan.”

“Maybe. It’s different for you, I know that. What you went through the last time you saw Sonny—”

When he’d hit her, thrown her across the room into her vanity table—

“He also sent men with guns after Elizabeth’s kids, so if she can get past that—” When she saw Jason wince and look away, Carly frowned. “What? You don’t think she’s past it?”

“I think,” Jason said carefully, “she’s doing this for me. But when it comes to Sonny, I know you both feel like as badly as things are for Sonny on the island, it’s not as bad as what we went through here.”

“Well, you know Elizabeth and I will never be the best of friends, but we’re not wrong. I had to send my kids away, Jase. And her kids probably saw more violence than you’ve ever admitted when you were getting them out of the house—so yeah, maybe part of Elizabeth and I can put it behind us. I don’t know what that says about us, but the thing is, we both love you. And you need this. So…she might be doing this for you, but she’s still doing it. That’s more than I can say right now.”

Carly sighed. “Because no, at the moment, I’m not open to bringing Sonny into Morgan’s life. Morgan has no memory of Sonny. But Michael does. He’s eleven now, and he can make his own choices. So….” She shrugged. “I’ll talk to him. And I’ll talk to Jax. I’m not saying never, Jason. I’m just—I’m selfish. And I’m happy. My heart breaks for Sonny, but I’m not sure it breaks enough to mess up the life I’ve built here.”

“I get that, Carly.”

“But if you go down there, Jase…” Carly touched his arm. “And it’s okay…if Sonny meets Evie, and Elizabeth can make her peace? If you tell me it’ll be okay, I’ll…I’ll do it. I’ll go to the island myself. Maybe not the boys. Like I said, Morgan—I’m not ready for that. And Michael—he’ll decide for himself. But I’ll go to the island and tell Sonny I forgive him.”

“Carly—”

“Because I did. And I do. And I know, when he came back to his senses, how it must have weighed on him, what he’d done. I’ll do that for you. I can promise you at least that.”

“It’s more than I thought.” He embraced Carly tightly. “I’m happy you’ve got this life here, Carly. You and the boys—all I ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

“Same. You and Elizabeth have a good thing going up there with the kids. With the family you have.” She kissed his cheek. “Now, I guess we both need to do something to feel like we deserve what we have. It came at Sonny’s expense, and I guess…you’re right. Something has to change.”

Sunday, December 28, 2008

 Morgan Home: Bedroom

Elizabeth carefully folded a pair of jeans and placed then into her suitcase. “I’m surprised Carly agreed to visit Sonny,” she said finally as Jason sat down and tugged off his boots. “I guess it was a good idea to ask her in person.”

“She’s changed a lot since leaving Port Charles.” Jason came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “I’m sorry I was gone longer than I planned but—”

“You don’t get to see Michael and Morgan enough, so I’m glad you stayed with them a little bit.” She closed her eyes, leaned back against him, resting her arms along his. “The kids were fine. They hung out with Monica yesterday, then Emily came over with Spencer this morning.”

“How many fights did Cam and Spencer get into?”

“Not nearly as many as usual.” She turned in his arms and looked up at him. “We’re doing the right thing, Jason.”

“I know. I just…” He hesitated. “We can still change our minds. I didn’t tell Sonny or the staff we’re coming.”

She frowned, tilted her head to the side. “Why? I mean…do you want to stay home? What’s…Why?”

“Because I’m asking you to go see Sonny, to take our kids to see him, and I’m not…” Jason waited a moment. “I don’t want you to do this because you think it’s something I need. Evie’s not just my daughter. She’s yours. And we need to be together on this.”

“I thought we were.” Elizabeth stepped back with a frown. “What changed your mind?”

“I don’t know. I guess I talking to Carly…I just think…” Jason sat on the bed, looked at the night stand on his side of the bed where he kept a framed photograph of Elizabeth with all three of their children taken at Evie’s last birthday party. “She talked about the reasons she’s not ready for Michael and Morgan to be a part of Sonny’s life. She’s not even really open to letting Morgan meet him. And they’re older than Cam and Evie.”

“Jason—”

“They didn’t get to—Carly sent them away with Bobbie—they weren’t a part of it. Cam and Evie…they were in the house.” He looked at Elizabeth. “Carly was hurt, yeah. But she never feared for the boys’ lives. You did. I keep thinking about going to the safe house—all of us in separate cars, not knowing until we arrived that everyone had made it.”

“It was the most terrifying thing that’s ever happened to me,” Elizabeth agreed. “And yeah, I know the kids were in the middle of it. I know there was violence. You’ve never talked about it—” When he looked away, his jaw clenching, she sighed. “And you still won’t. After that day, Jason, okay, yeah, I stopped really thinking we could have Sonny back the way he’d wanted. I knew he’d never be in our wedding. I knew you’d never let him in charge again. He used the security plan you designed to protect his family, his kids, against you.”

She took the photo from him, traced her fingers over her son’s face. “That was the closest I ever came to agreeing that maybe I wasn’t cut out for this. That it wasn’t the life I wanted for Cam.”

“I know.”

“And you nearly sent me away with both of them. You were talking about a safe house in Europe—” Her eyes burned. “Because I knew when you walked out that door you didn’t expect to come back. I wanted you to promise me if it came down to you or Sonny, you’d come home. I asked you for that promise even though I knew you’d never keep it.”

Jason looked at her, frowning. “Elizabeth—”

“I’m doing this for you,” Elizabeth interrupted. “That’s true. Because I can’t let you do this alone. I made a promise to you that my face would never change. That I would give you my child to love and to protect. We got married, and I promised that I would always stand by you—” She reached for his hand where he wore a slim gold band around his ring finger. She touched it, rubbing her fingers over it the way he often touched her engagement and wedding set. “And I haven’t done that—”

“That’s not true—”

“It is true.” She sighed. “I knew Sonny was struggling, and I knew it was agony for you to deal with it every few months. But I didn’t try to help. I couldn’t. I was too scared. I was still, I think, living in that terror of not knowing if my little boy was safe. If my choices had cost me my baby.”

He closed his eyes, bowing his head. “I know—”

“But that moment is over. It’s been over for three years.” She touched his chin, lifting it with her fingers so he’d open his eyes and look at her. “My little boy is not only safe, he’s happy. He adores you. He loves the little sister you gave him. I have a daughter that I love more than life. And we not only survived all of that, Jason, we…” She gestured around the room—

The room they’d moved into before her grandmother had passed away—her bedroom during her teen years. They’d never moved into the master room, preferring to turn it into a playroom for the kids, hoping they’d feel Audrey’s presence.

“Look at the life we’ve built. I have an art gallery that, for some reason, people from around the world come to visit, and your life is safer now than it’s ever been. We have Cam and Evie, and Jake—our little miracle—” Her voice broke, likely remembering how difficult the pregnancy and his birth had been.

“I need to stop living in the past,” she told him. “We both do. What happened was terrifying, but it’s over. And Sonny was sick. He was so sick that he tried to take his own life to make it stop.”

“He told me—” Jason took a deep breath. “He told me that he’d come to the warehouse because he’d decided one of us had to go. And then he’d remembered you, coming to visit him. He said you reminded him of his mother.”

Elizabeth’s lip trembled. “He did?”

“But he wished she’d been stronger. That she’d had your courage. He said he was like Deke, the man who’d killed her. He couldn’t save his mother. And he’d hurt Carly. But he wanted to save you.”

“You never…” Elizabeth closed her eyes, took a deep shuddering breath. “You never told me that before.”

“I just wanted it to be over, too,” he admitted. “And I didn’t want you to think…that I was choosing him. I didn’t choose to save his life because of all of the things he meant to me—I mean, not really. I didn’t even really choose, Elizabeth. I didn’t think.”

Jason’s eyes were damp, lined with red when she opened his eyes to look at her. “I couldn’t let him kill himself to protect me. I couldn’t live with myself. I couldn’t let him think he was that broken—”

“Of course not.” She leaned forward to wrap her arms around his neck. “You and I have the life we wanted. We got the happy ending.” Elizabeth pressed her cheek to Jason’s, then drew back to kiss him. “I can’t let the life Sonny’s living be the end of his story. For everything he meant to us, for how hard he tried to do better even when his own brain turned against him, we have to find out if there’s more.”

“I love you.” Jason kissed her again, then pressed her back against the pillows of their bed. “I should tell you that more.”

“You say it enough,” she murmured as their lips brushed again. “But why don’t you show me?”

December 29, 2019

This entry is part 1 of 4 in the The Next Best Thing

Presents in your arms and you’ve traveled far
Someone opens the door with a smile on their face
And you know you’ve come to the right place
Family nestled by the fire
Christmas hopes to inspire
Loved ones by your side
You know you’ll kiss your babies goodnight
At Christmas, Hanson


Monday, December 22, 2008

Morgan Home: Living Room

 The room looked as if a several bags of glitter and tinsel had exploded in the alcove where the Morgan family kept their tree. The two eldest Morgan children had dived into their mother’s box of Christmas decorations and discovered a container of tinsel that she had forgotten to remove before they arrived home from preschool that day.

Elizabeth Morgan had merely turned her back to set her youngest son, Jake, in a playpen and give him his stuffed elephant—clearly forgetting the first rule of Christmas decorating with small children.  She could already hear maniacal giggles from the alcove, and when she turned back to assess the situation—

Four-year-old Evangeline already had strands of tinsel streaking through her coal-black curls while four-year-old Cameron was throwing the tinsel at their pine tree—the tree that had no other decorations yet. It had been waiting for their father’s return from an unexpected business trip.

“Evangeline Grace Morgan.”

Evie blinked at her, her caramel colored eyes round with wide-eyed innocence. “Mommy, it’s not my fault.” She jabbed a chubby finger at her brother. “He went into the box.”

You opened the tinsy!” Cam shot back with a dark scowl.

“Cameron Hardy Morgan.”

Cam heaved a heavy sigh, then turned his own angelic expression in her direction. “I miss Daddy,” he declared, then his lower lip trembled just a little.

Elizabeth arched a brow. “I invented that look.”

The sadness vanished from Cam’s eyes and the scowl returned. “Evie made me do it.”

“Cam—”

She sighed when eighteen-month-old Jake began to wail behind her. He hated being in the playpen, and she could already hear him throwing toys. One—a plastic car—sailed from behind her and hit Evie in the cheek. She shrieked and went for her brother.

Elizabeth stopped her advance, sweeping the little girl up in her arms, ignoring the outrage shrieks and kicks as she dropped her daughter on the sofa.

“It’s not fair!” Evie screamed.

“Mommy!” Cam dived for cover as another one of Jake’s toys careened past him, hitting the tree.

“Daddy!” Jake wailed.

“Oh, man.” Elizabeth sat in her grandfather’s old arm chair and put her head in her hands. Why—why—had she offered Nora the month of December off?

The playpen shook with an ominous rattle as Jake’s chubby fists wrapped around the top edge and he frantically tried to climb out. He managed to lift himself part of the way over the metal rail, but he couldn’t quite get the leverage to haul himself completely over the top—

So, he slid back down, threw back his head, and wailed at the top of his lungs. Evie started crying, pressing her hands over her ears, and Cameron—because he clearly didn’t think his mother was paying attention to him anymore—started tossing some more tinsel at their bare tree.

She only put Jake in there to have five minutes when the kids got home from school—so she could distract them—and then Jake could run free—but of course, he was only a toddler who didn’t understand that mothers needed to breathe.

Elizabeth took a deep breath, then started to reach for her youngest child. One kid at a time—and the tinsel was the least of her worries.

The door was pushed open then, sweeping in the brittle December wind and a bit of the snowflakes that had been gently falling for several hours. Jason stepped over the threshold and was immediately tackled by her eldest children who could run—

Jake rolled, kicked, and wiggled until Elizabeth released him. Jason grabbed Jake and in his own way—managed to hug all three of them at the same time without giving one any extra attention. There were days when he made parenting look so easy, she wanted to murder him.

“Hey,” he said, as he crossed the room, dragging Evie and Cam who were both attached to a leg. He leaned over the top of Jake’s head and kissed her, his lips cold and his breath holding the scent of coffee. She’d missed him—

They hadn’t been separated for two weeks since—since never, Elizabeth realized. Since they had started dating at Nikolas and Emily’s wedding four years earlier—their longest time apart had been that terrible week after her grandmother’s death and Sonny’s psychotic break.

“I missed you,” she murmured against his lips. “How was the island?”

Jason hesitated, then sighed. “We’ll talk about it later,” he said. He kissed her again. “Why was everyone crying when I—” He blinked at the tree, the bottom half of which was only decorated with tinsel before looking down at his two children—Evie with tinsel in her hair and Cam with tinsel sticking out of the collar of his green sweater. “We got into Mommy’s Christmas box, huh?”

As Cam and Evie launched into elaborate defenses of themselves and blaming each other, Jason looked at his wife with a light in his eye that told her he was struggling not to laugh. For the moment, her own irritation and exhaustion lifted, and she started to laugh.

Morgan Home: Evie’s Bedroom

Later that evening, after they had cleaned up the tinsel, fed the children dinner, and decorated the tree properly, Jason took the boys to their room to sleep while Elizabeth tucked in Evie.

“Tell me my special story, Mommy.”

Elizabeth stroked her daughter’s dark, almost coal-black curls with a sad smile Evie couldn’t see. “Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess named Samantha who was about to become a mommy. She loved her little girl so much and would have done anything to keep her safe. But then she got really sick.”

“And she could only hold me for a minute,” Evie said, the words as familiar her own name. “So, she held me tight.”

“And she made so many wishes for you. To be safe, to be happy, to be smart. To have a good life.” Elizabeth’s throat tightened slightly. “She gave you to the best man she knew—”

“Daddy.”

“That’s right.” Elizabeth smiled, stroking Evie’s cheek. “He promised your birth parents that he would love you so much and keep all their promises for them.”

“And then Daddy fell in love with you,” Evie said, rolling on her back. “And you became my Mommy, and you gave me a brother.”

“An older brother,” Elizabeth corrected softly. “Because they’re annoying and irritating, but no one loves and protects like an older brother.”

“And now we gots Jake.”

“And now we have Jake,” she repeated. “And I know you and Cam will take care of him the way you take care of each other.”

Evie rolled over again and smiled at the two frames on her night table. One, a photo of her biological mother, Sam McCall, and the other, a picture of her adopted parents on their wedding day. “Night, Birth Mommy. And we live happy ever after.”

“Like all good fairy tales.” Elizabeth leaned over and kissed her cheek.

She met Jason in the hallway and raised an eyebrow. “Are they both asleep already?”

“Jake is, but I let Cameron watch Ghostbusters again. I’ll check on him in an hour.” He followed her downstairs and they settled themselves on the sofa in front of the fireplace and their twinkling Christmas tree.

“Evie asked for her story again tonight,” Elizabeth said. She leaned into Jason’s embrace, luxuriating in the warmth and comfort she found in him, even after all these years. She needed these quiet moments at the end of the evening when she and Jason regrouped, compared notes, and prepared for the next day.

It hadn’t been easy finding the rhythm of having three small children with two active careers of their own, and the surprise of Jake had complicated things for a time, but their world had eventually balanced out. Cam and Evie had started school this year and it was a bit easier—

Until the call had come a few weeks earlier and Jason had had to leave in the middle of the night for the island.

“She’s been asking for it a lot the last few months,” Jason murmured.  He sighed. “Is she not getting along with Cam? She doesn’t feel like she’s part of—”

“No, I think she likes it. It makes her special, and she knows she’s adopted.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “Cam’s teacher asked about that—about why they’re so close in age. I told her what we tell everyone—we each brought a child to our marriage, but I worry sometimes—”

“Evie’s ours,” Jason told her. The adoption had begun in earnest six months after Sonny had been sent to the island and completed almost two years earlier. “We don’t—”

“Evie’s always known she’s adopted. We made it special for her. And she has pictures of Sam on her nightstand.” Elizabeth sat up and twisted to look at him. “But Cameron—I don’t think he realizes it. And the reason the teacher asked about their ages—” She sighed. “He looks like you. He got my sister’s blond hair—and my blue eyes. He has no memory of anyone but you.”

“And making Evie’s adoption special—you think it’ll bother Cam when he gets older that he doesn’t have that story about Zander.” Jason wrinkled his nose. “Do—should we talk to him—”

“I don’t know if I can give Zander’s story a fairy tale twist. Sam died giving Evie life—with her last dying breath, she was thinking of her little girl. But Zander—” Elizabeth twisted her wedding ring on her finger. “I don’t want to erase Zander from his life. It’s not fair. I just—I never want Cam to feel like he didn’t deserve the kind of story Evie has.”

“If we wait until he’s old enough,” Jason said, after a moment, “we can tell Cam and Evie about Zander and Sonny at the same time. They both have biological fathers who were troubled—who won’t play—” He grimaced.

Elizabeth pressed her hand against his chest. “It didn’t go well did it?” she murmured. “Was it like last time?”

Since going to the island, Sonny’s recovery had been uneven. He went through doctors and medication like candy, and at least twice a year, Jason had gone to do damage control. Unlike a lot of people living with bipolar disorder, Sonny didn’t seem to be able to stay lucid and in control for very long.

It was a vicious cycle—he would be clear and sane for months before thinking he was cured. He’d stop taking his medications—then crash. He had had another psychotic break the year before, and he’d made it as far as the private airport to fly back to Port Charles.

The dream they’d once pictured of Sonny recovering enough to be part of their lives—to know his daughter, to rebuild a relationship with his sons—every year that passed, it seemed further away.

“This time the doctor argued with me about keeping him out of Port Charles,” Jason said. He leaned his head against the back of the sofa, his eyes looking toward the ceiling. “He seems to think the reason Sonny hasn’t been able to get a balance is that we’ve take him out of his natural environment.”

“Didn’t you tell him the last time Sonny had a break in Port Charles, he nearly killed you? That he sent men with guns after two babies?” Elizabeth demanded. “We’ve talked about this, Jason. Sonny can’t come back.”

“I know.” Jason closed his eyes, swallowed hard, before straightening and looking at her. In the dim firelight, she could see the anguish in his expression. “I’m doing the right thing for you and me. For the kids. For everyone who lives in Port Charles.”

“But not for Sonny.” And he wouldn’t be the man she loved if the decision didn’t weigh on him. In so many ways, their lives would have been easier if Sonny had died all those years ago—if Jason had let Sonny kill himself.

“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how make it better. If he came back—” Jason shook his head. “Would he always understand that he can’t be in control? Would he be satisfied with part of the life he had before? Is that even a risk I want to take?”

Elizabeth reached for his hand, tracing her fingers over the lines in his palm, over the gold ring on his fourth finger.  In sick and in health, for better or for worse—

She’d made those promises to him. Had promised to love and cherish him. And in her own mind, she had made different vows—silent ones.

She had promised that her face would never change, and that she would always do what was needed to be Jason Morgan’s wife.

“How did you leave it?” she asked. “What was Sonny like?”

“He didn’t have another break, and he’s back on his medicine.” Jason looked at her wary eyes. “Why?”

“If it weren’t for me and the kids, you would have brought him home years ago,” Elizabeth said. “I know that. It’s me that’s holding you back.”

“No—” Jason shook his head. “No. It’s not just that. That last break here—it wasn’t just what he did here in this house—” Sending armed guards to steal Evie by force, not even caring that Elizabeth had only just lost her grandmother—that her son was in this room—

“It’s what he did to Carly. She won’t let him have a relationship with the boys. Still. And I don’t blame her for that.” Jason swallowed hard. “We decided together that Sonny had to stay—”

“It’s me that’s holding you back.” Elizabeth repeated. “And there are times when I look at Evie, and I see Sonny. I see him the way I remember him. The way I loved him once. That last night—at my engagement party—that man—I want that man back. And maybe the doctor’s right.” She bit her lip. “Maybe he doesn’t feel like he needs to stay on the medicine because he’s alone down there.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I’m not saying he should come home full-time,” Elizabeth interrupted. “But—maybe it’s time we took the kids down to the island. Maybe it’s time Sonny met Evie and we reminded him that he’s not alone.”

Jason’s shoulders slumped, and he just stared at her for a long moment before shaking his head. “I can’t ask you to do that—”

“You’re not asking me. I’m offering. You weren’t the only one who lost Sonny. Evie lost her father. Courtney lost her brother. I lost a friend. I refuse—” She shook her head, resolute now. “I refuse to believe that the man we loved is lost forever. What happened—it was traumatizing, and we’ve had to dig out of it. But I can’t sit here, celebrating Christmas with the people I love most in the world and not feel guilty that the only reason Sonny is alone right now is because of an illness that he can’t control.”

Tears welled behind her eyes and she sucked in a deep, shuddering breath. “We’ve been punishing him, scared of what might happen if he came home. You saved his life three years ago, Jason, but we sentenced him to live in prison anyway. I can’t live with it anymore. I can’t ask you to keep doing it—to keep being the bad guy who has to go down there and tell Sonny he can’t come home.”

“He told me this last time that I should have let him put the bullet in his head,” Jason said after a long moment of silence, the crackling fire the only sound in the room. “That he’s just a ghost I wouldn’t let go.”

“We promised each other at the start,” Elizabeth said as he pulled her across his lap, “that Sonny was something we would deal with together. You—the kids—this is everything I ever wanted in my life. There are days that I am so happy that I actually cry because I never thought I would deserve this.” She framed his beloved face with her hands. “We have a good life, Jason, but I don’t think I can live with myself knowing it came at Sonny’s expense. We sacrificed him to have it. And I don’t want to do it anymore.”

Jason leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers. “The way you love—the courage—” He shook his head. “I don’t have the words.”

“Every time Evie asks me her special story, I tell her about her mother that gave her away to best man she knew. I want Evie to know that her father loved just as much. We need to do this. For each other. For her. And for Sonny.”

“I’ll call tomorrow and make the arrangements.” He tucked her hair behind her eyes, his eyes on hers. “I remember the day I saw you again—when you came home. I was sitting on the docks, feeling more tired than I could ever remember.”

She tilted her head and smiled. “And I nagged you into telling me the truth—”

“That’s not how I remember it.” He shook his head, his own smile spreading. “You came down the steps, and you smiled at me. And by the time you left, I couldn’t remember why I was so tired. I just wanted to keep looking at you.”

“When we sat together, and I poked at you about Evie—I did it partly because I was hoping—” She bit her lip, sliding her fingers through his soft blond hair. “I was hoping you wouldn’t lie to me. And when you didn’t—I felt all those old butterflies. I just wanted to sit on that bench and talk to you for the rest of my life.”

“Thank you for coming home,” Jason murmured. “For not staying in San Francisco. For giving us another chance.”

“I couldn’t stay away,” Elizabeth replied. “I’d miss the smell of snow too much.”

He laughed. “Snow doesn’t smell,” he teased.

“Yes, it does,” she murmured, leaning down to kiss him again.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Morgan Home: Living Room

Jason grabbed his son just as Cameron began his charge towards his younger sister who had made the mistake of reaching for the Ghostbusters car that was Cameron’s current pride and joy and favorite Christmas present.

“No, no! It’s not my fault!” Cameron pleaded as Jason carried him over to the sofa as Elizabeth picked up Evie and brought her over. “She’s always touchin’ my stuff! It’s mine! And Barbies don’t ride in the car!”

“Yes, they can,” Evie shot back, her coal back curls slipping out of her red velvet handbead with a brunette Barbie clutched in one hand. “Barbies can do anything!”

“Girls can’t be Ghostbusters!” Cameron shot back.

“Hey!” Elizabeth poked her son gently in the chest. “We don’t talk like that, Cameron Hardy Morgan!”

Evie sniffled and looked up at her mother. “Girls can do anything, Mommy, you said. And my Barbie’s a girl. So why can’t Barbie fight ghosts? It’s not fair.”

Cameron scowled and sank into the corner of the sofa. “Don’t cry, stupid. I don’t mean you. I mean girl dolls can’t be Ghostbusters. Everyone knows it.”

Evie narrowed her eyes and whacked him hard with her Barbie. Cameron howled and went on the attack again.

“All I wanted to do to was talk to them,” Elizabeth said with a sigh as she and Jason waded in to each grab a child and take them away from each other. Elizabeth ended up with Evie again, in the arm chair as Cameron kicked and wiggled in Jason’s arms near Jake’s playpen where the eighteen-month-old was calmly shoving square blocks into circle-shaped holes and laughing maniacally.

“I hate my sister!” Cameron screeched, his face red and scrunched up, indicating he was about to deliver one of his famous tantrums. “I hate hate hate hate her!”

“Maybe you need to sit upstairs for a while, buddy,” Jason said as he set Cameron on the ground and folded his arms. Grown men usually quivered when Jason Morgan took that tone and set his face in that icy expression, but his four-year-old son was unimpressed.

“Maybe you need to tell Evie not to touch my stuff!” The last half of that statement was delivered at the top of his lungs as he twisted halfway and screamed at Evie.

“Tell him not to be a dumb boy!” Evie screamed back.

“It’s nice sometimes to see you suck at this, too,” Elizabeth offered from across the room with a grin. “Evie, your brother isn’t being nice right now, but are you supposed to touch his toys without permission?”

You said to share!” Evie said with a gasp of accusation. “I shared!”

“Sharing implies the other person agreed. Did Cam say you could play with his brand-new Ghostbusters car?”

“Why are there so many rules?” Evie muttered. She folded her arms, the plastic legs of her doll digging into Elizabeth’s ribs as her daughter shifted in her lap.

Jason knelt down and arched his brows at Cameron who just glared at him. “You see? We’re not taking Evie’s side.”

“Yeah? I don’t see her getting sent to her room like I did when I borrowed her Barbies—”

“You didn’t borrow them, Cameron. You dumped them in the tub so that Spiderman could save them from downing. It took your mom an hour to dry them off. Evie didn’t even get close to your truck.”

Cameron narrowed his eyes, as if searching for the loophole in that argument but being only four and realizing he was never going to win, he heaved a great sigh. “Fine. But the next time she touches my stuff, I’m throwing her out the window.”

Elizabeth’s head jerked up as she laughed, startled. “Oh, man. I’ve got to stop talking about Ava Jerome around the kids. I said that to Emily on the phone yesterday.”

“So, you’re the bad influence,” Jason teased as he brought Cameron back around to the other side of the sofa. He sat down and pulled Cameron into his lap. “Now that we got that settled, we need to talk to you guys.”

“Yeah, we want to tell you about going on a trip for New Year’s,” Elizabeth said with a bright smile Jason knew she didn’t quite feel deep down. “We’re going to meet someone very special.”

“I thought Santa was already back in the North Pole,” Cameron said suspiciously. “Is Aunt Em going to bring Spencer? Because he smells.”

“No, it’s just going to be the five of us. You, me, Daddy, Evie, and Jake. And maybe…a few other people who know Sonny.” She looked at Evie. “You know we talk about your birth mommy?”

“Uh huh.” Evie clutched her Barbie close to her. “I nameded my new doll for Other Mommy. This is Samantha.”

“Well, you know you have a birth daddy, too,” Jason said.

“Yeah, Mommy tells me about them in my special story. That they were really sick. Mommy had to go to Heaven and my other daddy is still really sick.” Evie’s eyes widened. “Am I gonna go see my other daddy? Is that Sonny?”

“We’re hoping he’s feeling a little better.”

Cameron furrowed his brow, twisting his head to look at Jason. “How come she’s got a special story? No one tells me special stories.”

Elizabeth blinked, met Jason’s eyes. They’d talked about Cameron having questions about this just days ago—but hadn’t really expected him to tackle the situation head on. “Everyone gets a special story,” Elizabeth said after a long moment. “But we don’t get them at the same time. It has to be right. It’s…just not your turn yet. But…I promise, soon. Daddy and I will have a special story for you.”

“Hmm…” Cameron didn’t look convinced but let the subject drop. “Okay.”

“So tomorrow, Daddy is going to go to talk to your daddy’s sister and see if she wants to come.” Elizabeth looked at Jason again and he sighed. He knew Courtney would agree to go, but the real purpose of Jason’s trip was to see if Carly, Sonny’s ex-wife, might want to go or would even let them bring either of the boys, if not both.

They both knew the answer was probably no, but it had to be asked.

“She lives in New York, so I’ll be gone overnight. Then we’ll go on our trip.” He looked at Evie, the little girl he’d tried so hard not to love but now couldn’t imagine his family without. “Are you okay meeting your birth father?”

“If he feels okay, do I have to go live with him?” Evie asked in a small voice. “Because I don’t wanna do that.” She slid off the armchair and onto the floor with a catch in her voice.

Cameron jerked straight up in his father’s lap and shook his vehemently. “No!” He glared at Jason. “No! You tell her other daddy that Evie’s my sister and he can’t have her!”

He launched himself off the sofa and ran over to embrace his sister to whom he’d sworn his undying hatred for only ten minutes earlier. “My sister,” he said again with a lift of his chin Jason knew he could have only inherited from his mother.

“Evie’s ours,” Elizabeth said softly. She joined her kids on the floor and hugged them both. “Families don’t leave. She’ll always be ours. But she might be a little bit her father’s, too. It’s okay to be scared, Evie. Things might change one day. But how much I love you, how much your daddy loves you—that never will.”

Evie sniffled and launched herself at her father. “I wanna stay with you, Daddy! Don’t send me away!”

“You’re not—” Jason hugged her tightly, taking a deep breath. Was this the right decision? Was it too much for her? She’d only just turned four—

“We’re not sending you anywhere, Evie. You’ll go with us on the plane, and you’ll come home with us.” He drew back from her slightly, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. “We chose each other a long time ago, you and me. Your birth mother asked me to raise you. And I’ve done that. Elizabeth—she chose you, too. And Cameron chose you, too. And no one is going to make us change our mind.”

“Promise?” Evie asked, knowing that a promise from her father never ever got broken.

“Promise.”

“I promise, too, Evie.” Elizabeth sat next to them and put her arm through Jason’s. “We’re Morgans. And we don’t run away when things get hard, right? We stick.”

“Besides, if you go away, they might have another baby,” Cameron said with a heavy sigh. He cast Jake, happy in his playen, a dark look. “They’re a lot of work.”

“No one is going away,” Jason repeated. “Mommy’s right. Morgans stay together. No one is ever taking you away from us, Evie.”

His daughter buried into his embrace as he and Elizabeth traded looks over her curls. He just hoped he wasn’t wrong.