January 6, 2018

I updated Bittersweet, Chapter 7 and also cleaned up the Workshop page to make it more clear what is what. I added a new series there — deleted scenes — and took those posts from the Previews page.  So now Previews only has excerpts and previews for upcoming stories, Plot Sketches are outlines of stories I’ve written or discarded, and Deleted Scenes (found on workshop) are outtakes and alternate scenes for stories I’ve already published.

I also updated the Recent Updates page to be more current. That’s the best place to go for a complete list of updates if you’ve missed a few days rather than scrolling through the blog.

I’ll be back tomorrow with another Workshop update as well the last edited chapter of Bittersweet before new material is published on Monday.

January 5, 2018

Hey! So it’s a double update tonight. I have another scene from Fool Me Twice for this week’s workshop.  I wrote it in about 32 minutes because I don’t have an hour for it tonight, but I’m off from work the entire weekend, I should be able to carve out another 30 minutes to make up the time sometime Saturday or Sunday.

You also get the next updated chapter of Bittersweet tonight. I’m soooo excited about posting the next chapter on Monday. There’s so much awesome coming in this story, guys, and I cannot wait for you guys to read all the new material. Some of my absolute best Elizabeth stuff is in this story.

So: Fool Me Twice, Part 3 and Bittersweet, Chapter 6.

I’ll see y’all tomorrow!

This entry is part 3 of 13 in the Flash Fiction: Fool Me Twice

Written in 32 minutes, I went a little over my self-imposed limit because my dad came in to yell at me about my use of the space heater.


Aurora Media: Drew Cain’s Office

Elizabeth pasted a smile on her face as Drew’s secretary admitted her into his office. Behind the desk, Drew glanced up from some paperwork and offered her that same open smile that she had fallen in love with three years earlier.

Maybe you knew it wasn’t me.

Jason’s words from that day in the jail in October slid into her thoughts without warning, and Elizabeth sighed at the thought. The fact that Jason’s first instinct when told Elizabeth had lied—again—was to absolve her of any guilt or responsibility should have been the damning clue that he was the real Jason Morgan.

Jason had never blamed her for anything even when he should have.

“Hey. What brings you by?” Drew stepped out from behind the desk and kissed her cheek. He gestured towards the oversize white leather sofa nestled in the corner of the office. “Everything okay with Jake?”

“Yeah. I guess.” Elizabeth bit her lip and set her purse on the floor, draped her coat over her lap. “I’m sorry to just—I mean, we haven’t—we haven’t really talked since—” She wiggled her fingers.

“Yeah. Well, they don’t really make a Hallmark card for this situation.” Drew leaned back, rubbed his mouth. “I’m trying not to think about it. Which probably isn’t the right way to deal with it, but hell, there’s no manual for this kind of thing.”

“No, I guess not.” Elizabeth hesitated. “I don’t even know why I’m here,” she admitted. “I guess…” She looked down at the ring on her finger. “You think I’m making a mistake.”

Drew hesitated. “Listen, there’s…” He cleared his throat. “The thing is, Elizabeth, that I still have Jason’s memories. Which means I’m pretty used to you making mistakes.”

“Oh, great. That’s what I needed—”

“You have a type,” Drew continued. “And don’t give me that look, Elizabeth. You do. You’re attracted to idiots—” He flashed her a quick grin. “Myself included. You keep trying to save us.”

“That’s not—” Elizabeth scowled. “That’s not exactly how it was—”

“Oh, yeah?” he raised his brows. “Why’d you stay with Lucky through the brainwashing?”

“Because he stuck with me after the rape, and I wanted to—” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Drew—”

“Ric? How many chances did you give that douche bag?”

“You know…I really don’t know what I’m doing here—”

“Hey—” Drew stuck out a hand stop her from standing. Elizabeth sighed and remained on the sofa. “Look, the way I feel about you is complicated, you know? Because I—”

“I didn’t lie to you because Nikolas told me you were Jason,” she cut in. “I didn’t keep the truth because of that. I mean, not entirely. I called you Jason when we thought that’s who you were, but that’s not who I agreed to marry. And it’s not who I lied to keep, okay?”

He frowned at her. “Are we still having the same conversation? I thought we were talking about you—”

“You have Jason’s memories, and that sucks,” she told him. “Because they should just belong to him. And you should have yours. But I just—I wanted you to know that I never saw you as someone I wanted to save.” She closed her eyes. “This is stupid—”

“Hey.” Drew touched her hand. “It’s not. It matters. Look, you can be honest with me. When you did you know I wasn’t Jason?”

Elizabeth opened her eyes and looked at those blue eyes that were so familiar to her. “The minute I walked into the jail at the police station, and he said my name. I lied. I told him I didn’t believe it. Because I blew up my entire life over that lie. People wouldn’t look at me for months, and I just—I felt so…” She sighed. “Alone. And Patrick was gone. I just didn’t have anyone left who was mine.”

“Which is why Franco is a mistake, Elizabeth.”

She exhaled slowly. “Griffin told me something at lunch earlier,” she admitted. “The brain tumor that set Franco free? It’s not…not as simple as I thought it was. A-and I went to the hospital. I pulled his medical records to be sure.”

Drew furrowed his brow. Leaned forward. “What do you mean? It was in the frontal lobe. We both know that kind of tumor can change a personality—I mean, look at me—at Jason,” he corrected. “I mean I hate the scumbag, but—”

“But that’s the thing,” Elizabeth said softly. “Because I think I just accepted what the courts said. What Carly believed. I didn’t think. I didn’t think about Jason. Jason had brain damage and it took away his memories, but it didn’t change who he was—”

“Elizabeth—”

“When you hear the stories about Jason Quartermaine, you can hear the way they’re the same. Jason has a different moral code now, yeah, and he had to relearn everything with the Quartermaines judging him and rejecting him constantly—but he still has the same fierce ridiculous loyalty that caused Jason Quartermaine to get into a car with his idiot drunk brother.”

Drew hesitated. “Yeah—”

“Manny Ruiz.”

“Manny Ruiz,” Drew repeated. “I haven’t thought about him—” He shook his head. “It’s not me,” he reminded himself quietly. “That’s a name I haven’t heard in a long time—”

“He had a brain tumor in the frontal lobe. And Alexis and Ric got him released,” Elizabeth said. “But that didn’t change who he was.” Pressure built behind her ears. “And then I just…I start to think about all the things I know about Franco. All the things I’ve known since the surgery, and I just—”

“Look.” Drew dragged a hand over his face. “Christ. I have the memories, so I’m going to use them, okay? You have spent your life looking for the good in people. And that’s an incredible gift, Elizabeth. But I think sometimes…you make it up in your head. You create good where it doesn’t exist.”

“I did that for Ric,” she murmured. “He did unforgiveable things. Not just to Carly, but to me. And then he lied to you—” She closed her eyes, the shame building again. “And then I did the exact same thing to you—”

“I hate what you did to me,” Drew said plainly. “But Jason’s memories and time…” He paused. “It’s given me perspective. You lie. It’s part of who you are.”

“God, I know—”

“But you used to lie to protect other people,” Drew told her. “You lied about loving Lucky because you wanted to save him. You lied about Jake because you didn’t want to ruin Jason’s life. You lied when you went back to Lucky. But these last few years, Elizabeth? You’ve lied to protect yourself. I’m not mad that you did it. I’m just worried.”

“I don’t know how to stop,” she admitted. “Because I’ve been telling myself for months that I’m happy. I agreed to marry Franco. And…when Griffin told me that the personality changes with brain tumors aren’t usually so stark—that you don’t become a sociopathic serial killer without some kind of underlying darkness—I denied it. But it’s the truth. And I knew it, Drew. I knew Franco was troubled, but I kept telling myself that I loved him. That he loved me, but—”

“I think Franco loves himself the most,” Drew said when she stopped speaking. “I don’t know if there’s room for you. I hate the idea of him with you. With the boys. I know we had this fight last year—that you had some valid reasons for being irritated about Sam but—”

“I’m sorry to come here and dump my problems on you. You’re dealing with so much—”

“Hey.” Drew said as Elizabeth rose to her feet. “We’re family. Jake may not be my son—” The pain of that statement twisted his face. “But he’s still mine. And you took me in when the rest of the world forgot about me. You believed in me when everyone else thought I was a violent monster—” Drew scowled. “Damn it, Elizabeth. You have got to stop believing everyone can be saved.”

Elizabeth sniffled but embraced her ex-fiancee with a bit of a lighter heart. “Yeah, but I was right about you and your brother, so you don’t get to complain about it now.”

January 4, 2018

I’m telling you, there are days when I feel like prayer works because we got our blizzard, woot! I mean, not here in Camden County but it’s bad enough that my school district closed and my second job at a tutoring center just cancelled for tonight. Freedom, my friends. FREEDOM.

I’m posting early so I can get to my other daily tasks this morning and spend part of the afternoon writing. I’m excited about where I am in Mad World, so it’s been frustrating not to have time or energy to write. This nine day practicum is a super waste of my life because the guy I’m with teaches science and social studies, I’m only there to see social studies, and he does, at best, an hour spread over three block periods. Ugh.

But I’m super excited for student teaching, which will give me a lot more control over the composition of my day, and I’ll also be done work an hour earlier (going in an hour earlier, but oh well). We’ll see how the schedule goes.

There is some good news on the Bittersweet front. I stopped writing it about three weeks ago, and then yesterday and this morning, I reread the material I had written, and there are still problems but I don’t think I have to do anything super drastic to fix them. Just edit a few things, change the POV for a few other scenes, but I feel better than I did before.

Here is your updated Bittersweet, Chapter 5. See y’all tomorrow.

January 2, 2018

Apologies for the late posting. Today was my first day student teaching, and then I had to go to my second job, and then I had homework. Ugh. I can’t wait until the weekend unless the snow-pocalypse they’re threatening for the Delaware Valley gets school cancelled Thursday. Here’s hoping.

Chapter 3 of Bittersweet, edited

December 31, 2017

Bittersweet

As promised, Bittersweet finally returns! From today, December 31 through next Sunday, January 7, I will be reposting Chapters One through Eight. I’ve made some small cosmetic changes as well as fixed some continuity issues.

I wrote those chapters in November 2015 before I had plotted the end of the story, so a couple of lines had to change. I definitely recommend rereading if you haven’t read the chapters in a little while.

Starting January 8, I will be posting new chapters of Bittersweet on Mondays and Wednesdays. Posting Bittersweet will take about four or five months depending on a few factors.

I’ve run into some issues writing the last few chapters because I’m unsure of a plot point. I have some ideas to fix it, but I might have to write a few scenes to make it work. I’m still playing around with it, but it really shouldn’t effect the story until we get into March, so I have plenty of time to complete it. I also might be overthinking the issue, which means I don’t have to fix anything and I can just finish writing the story so you guys don’t get any interruptions.

So here is today’s update: Bittersweet, Chapter One. It has been updated here, at Archive of Our Own, and at Fanfiction.net. I am not updating it at Road to Nowhere. I’m not super wild about the transition to Tapatalk and haven’t decided if I’m going to keep posting there.

Also, Sean Kanan is AJ in my head, but I made the graphics for Bittersweet before I had decided that, so it’s still Billy Warlock. I have to fix that when I get a chance.

Workshop: Fool Me Twice

Thanks so much for the responses to Fool Me Twice. It’s definitely a struggle to write for Elizabeth in 2017, but as always, I’m trying some things out.  There are three reasons I wanted to workshop FMT rather than doing my usual process: I wanted to be sure I could write the characters as they are today, I wanted to figure out the supporting characters, and also it’s a current storyline. I wanted to write my version of it before I got influenced by what’s happening on screen.

I will probably workshop the entire main story and then go through and edit and add on to it. So it might feel choppy, it might  not feel as fleshed out as my usual work. It’s mostly me trying to get my thoughts out. Please tell me if the flow isn’t right, if there’s something you think I should add. An aspect I’m not dealing with. The workshop is where y’all get to beta 😛

Fool Me Twice will be updated in the Workshop at least once a week on Fridays. I may or may not toss some micro fiction writing sessions in there sometimes, but they will not be planned. As always, check out my Twitter feed (which is also on the sidebar) because I post

when I start the clock. It will be updated Friday evenings, between 6-9 PM EST.

Mad World

I did not get as far into my new draft this last week as I wanted to. I talked a few weeks ago about how I had re-envisioned Mad World into three parts of an overall story — and the first part requires me to rewrite the panic room storyline.

I’m trying to write a version of Elizabeth who would actually stay in the house without being the gullible idiot she is so often forced to be on the show. It’s like writing Sonny for The Best Thing. Writing that story took two years because I needed Sonny to be just right. Elizabeth is going to deal with a lot of things that real people deal with and I just feel a responsibility to make that actually feel realistic. I’ve heard from some people about Sonny in TBT that it was mostly authentic and that meant a lot to me.

So Mad World is just more difficult and draining than I had anticipated, but it’s moving along. I just have to set more realistic goals for myself than I did originally.  I will keep you all updated.

Other News

+ I’m playing around with longer synopses on the In Progress and Alternate History & Universe pages. Right now, there are just vague tag lines. But I wanted to try to write something a bit longer and descriptive, akin to what you might read on the back cover of a paperback. I posted a new synopsis for Bittersweet on the In Progress page, so let me know what you think about that.

+ I haven’t forgotten my other workshop series. I’m still not satisfied with the magical story, Homecoming, so expect a new opening for that. I really really like the idea I have for that story, I just have to find the right way to present it. I’m also working on the Scottish story and some thoughts about some of the others.

+ I was thinking of writing something less intense than Mad World for the next project and maybe dipping into a new time period. So far since I started writing again 2014, I’ve written for 2003, 2004, 2006, and now for 2002 and 2003 again. I plan on ordering the Liason DVDs for 2007-08 this spring, so it might be time to bring back These Small Hours, which is a lot more action and plot oriented than Mad World. Still thinking that over.

+ Damaged is still on my plate. I’ve got so many ideas, it’s just been difficult to figure out how to make them all work. I’ll keep y’all updated.

+ If you’ve been listening to my chatter for the last two years, you know I’ve been pursuing my teaching certification. This is the semester when I finally get to finish it. I’ll be student teaching fro January 2 through May 4. I’m teaching U.S. History I at the high school level, and I’ll have six classes of about 150 kids. I’ll be writing my own lesson plans, doing my own grading, etc. It’s going to be crazy and it has to absolutely take priority.

The good news is that I’m only taking on other class and I reduced my hours at my other job to make my schedule a bit more less evil like it as last semester. I don’t know yet what the impact on my writing will be, so we’ll play it by ear. Luckily, Bittersweet is designed to take us through most of the semester, so you won’t see too much of a difference.

This entry is part 2 of 13 in the Flash Fiction: Fool Me Twice

Written in 58 minutes. Would have taken less, but I stopped to double check some of the details around Franco’s brain tumor.


Kelly’s: Dining Room

Elizabeth smiled and kissed Griffin Munro on the cheek as he lightly embraced her. “I’m so glad you were available for lunch today! I was afraid you’d be spending your day off with Ava.”

Griffin grimaced as they took their seats and he reached for the menu. “Ah, well, that’s probably not going to happen.”

“Oh?” Elizabeth arched a brow. “Are things okay?” She didn’t particularly like Ava Jerome, not after her scheming at ELQ had resulted in AJ Quatermaine’s last spiral in alcohol and tragedy. And of course, her final role in his murder. But Griffin liked her, and she was sort of Franco’s friend for some reason.

“I—” Griffin shook his head. “I really tried. You know? I tried to be the better man. To not make a big deal about it, but…every time I saw Julian Jerome, I remembered that I’ll never know my father. And that it’s his fault.” He held up a hand as if to ward off whatever Elizabeth might say next. “And sure, he says he was forced. But I don’t care.”

“I wasn’t going to stick up for him.” Elizabeth hesitated. “I just—you knew Ava’s brother was Julian before you got involved—”

“He was supposed to be in prison for the rest of his life. I could deal with from afar, but…we spent Christmas with him, and I just—” Griffin sat back in his chair. “I can’t do it. I tried. But I don’t know how to get past it. And I’m just hurting Ava by putting her in the middle. But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I walked away from the priesthood for her—”

“No, hey…” Elizabeth leaned forward. “We talked about this when you made the final decision. Yeah, Ava was the factor, but…she wasn’t the reason. Or if she was, then she shouldn’t have been. Take it from me—the second you make one person your reason for changing your entire life, for changing who you are—it’ll never work.” She bit her lip. “You know about my ex-husband, Lucky Spencer and his drug addiction? He found out I was pregnant with Jake—he thought Jake was his biological child. And Jake was the reason he said he got clean. I was terrified what would happen if he found out Jake wasn’t his.”

“Did he relapse when he found out?” Griffin asked.

“No. But I made a lot of choices based on my fear. In my head, Jake was the reason Lucky was clean. And…well, there were other reasons, but I asked Jason to give Jake up. It was selfish of me to expect that of him. We never really recovered from that. And I’m still paying for that now.” She hesitated. “Was Ava the reason you left the priesthood, Griffin?”

“I guess….” Griffin shook his head. “No. She wasn’t my first relationship with a woman. And she wasn’t the reason I doubted myself. I just…I care about her, Elizabeth. But how do I get past when her brother did?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“How did you get past what Franco did? I mean,” Griffin said when Elizabeth blinked at him. “He kidnapped your son, didn’t he? How…can you tell me how you can forgive something like that?”

“I—” Elizabeth hesitated. “The brain tumor, you know? He’s a different person now.”

Griffin shook his head. “I don’t understand. I thought his brain tumor was pressing on his prefrontal cortex in the frontal lobe.”

Elizabeth furrowed his brow. “I can’t…I don’t remember what Patrick said it was. But Diane Miller argued it in court, and Patrick supported the conclusion he wasn’t responsible—”

“I don’t know what happened then,” Griffin said, “but I’ve read Franco’s chart. His tumor was in the prefrontal cortex. That’s the impulse center. It deals with your reasoning and planning. Emotions. It doesn’t create a new personality. It generally amps up what already exists.”

“But—”

“I mean, sometimes tumors on the frontal lobe cause personality changes,” Griffin continued, “but it’s usually not that stark, like before the tumor, you’re Mr. Rogers, and afterwards, you’re Ted Bundy. It doesn’t usually create a violent schizophrenic sociopath without some sort of underlying cause—”

She could feel her heart pounding in her ears. Elizabeth stared at him. “I—I don’t understand.” She swallowed. “What are you saying to me?”

“I really shouldn’t—” Griffin grimaced. “I wasn’t his doctor. I just…I know what I saw from the charts. Maybe Patrick could say differently—”

“Griffin—” Elizabeth shook her head. “You’re right. You—you weren’t here. And Diane got the charges dismissed, so there must have been medical evidence.” She reached for the menu, her hand trembling slightly. “Let’s…let order—”

“I’m sorry, Elizabeth. I shouldn’t have brought it up—”

“He is a different man,” Elizabeth said, but this time, in her head, she could almost hear the desperation in her tone. “He is. You don’t know him the way I do—”

“No, I get it. He shows you one side of him. And another side to the rest of the world. He just always…struck me as arrogant. Dismissive—”

“No, he feels remorse for what he did—” Elizabeth closed her mouth. Closed her eyes. “You know what? I can’t—I can’t have lunch right now.” She’d lost her appetite.

“Elizabeth, I’m sorry—” Griffin got to his feet as she did as well. “I really didn’t have any right—”

“No, you didn’t. You weren’t his doctor. You weren’t the judge. You weren’t there.” Neither were you, a sinister voice whispered in her ear. She hadn’t paid attention to any of the details—it hadn’t mattered to her at the time.

She’d been preoccupied with AJ’s case and worrying about him. About Michael. And worried what would happen if Franco was released. But Diane had stood up for Franco, and Patrick was supposed to have signed some sort of documentation.

Carly of all people had believed in him after everything Michael had gone through.

Griffin was wrong.

He had to be wrong.

Jason’s Apartment: Living Room

Carly Corinthos folded her arms and stared at the new sofa critically. “I don’t know if I like it after all.”

Jason sighed and leaned against the wall. “It’s a couch, Carly. I really don’t care what it looks like as long as it’s comfortable—”

“No, it has to be right.” She shook her head. “I did okay with the bedrooms, I think. I just…” Carly sighed, looked around the apartment. “It’s so hard to think of you somewhere other than the penthouse, you know? That was home. If Sam was going to abandon you like the cold-hearted bitch I always knew she was—”

Jason closed his eyes and just let Carly rant. It had become clear that Carly’s New Year’s scheme had failed—backfired really as Sam had kissed him, and then looked at him with those dark eyes he’d loved so much…

They’d been filled with regret. Bitterness. Guilt.

And goodbye.

That spark hadn’t been there for either of them, and whether Sam had gone home to tell Drew or not, Jason didn’t know and didn’t care. He was moving on with his life.

And Carly had accepted it for the most part. It just meant that she’d stopped pushing him towards Sam and was now back to treating Sam like trash. He didn’t care for that either—but at least it meant she left Sam alone to get on with her life.

“When is Elizabeth going to let you have Jake overnight?” Carly demanded. “She didn’t seem all that interested in giving me anything to make his room feel like his—”

“We’re taking that slow,” Jason said with another sigh. He really didn’t want Carly to bad mouth Sam to him, but he really wasn’t up for another tantrum about Elizabeth.

He had no idea what Carly’s problem was with Elizabeth, and had never understood her animosity towards Jake’s mother.

“Slow?” Carly snorted. “You mean you’re dragging your feet. You know, that’s your problem, Jase. You’ve been letting that waif drive the bus when it comes to Jake for the kid’s entire life. I mean, she lied to you about being Jake’s father, and you still let Lucky raise him—”

“It was safer,” Jason said, but the words felt hollow. “And you’re the one who lied to me about Lucky. Elizabeth just didn’t correct you.”

Not after Jason had gone and told her it was for the best. She’d thought she was doing them all a favor.

“Oh, sure, blame me.” Carly rolled her eyes. “Look, I think you should sue her for custody rights. She’s letting your kid live with that insane bastard—”

“No court in the world is going to give me custody,” Jason said dryly. “And that’s the last thing I would ever do. Elizabeth raised Jake. She raised him after I walked away. I—You were going to let Franco around Joss.”

“Oh, God. Do not remind me,” Carly muttered as she stalked across the room to look at the sofa from another angle. “And thank God he called it off. I almost married him—”

“He called it off?” Jason repeated. “I thought—”

“Oh—” Carly blinked at him. “Hell. He, ah, well—I cheated on him with Sonny, you know? But I was gonna go through with the wedding. I felt like I had to because—” She grimaced. “You know…that AJ was alive.”

“Yeah, Monica said something about it, but she didn’t want to go into the details. Just that he died a few years ago—” Jason stopped. “Carly. What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything,” Carly said with a huff. “Everyone thought AJ killed Connie, you know? It was obvious. Michael didn’t beleive it, but he’s a soft touch. You know AJ came back and tricked Michael into giving him a chance—”

“Get to the point, Carly.”

“Well, Sonny thought AJ killed Connie,” Carly said flatly. “And he walked in on AJ confronting Ava…because it turned out Ava actually killed Connie. And—”

“Sonny killed him.”

“Not…right away…” Carly twisted her hands together. “See, I’m not…I’m not proud of either of us, you know? We were wrong. But AJ…didn’t die. He made it to the hospital. And God, Michael was so upset—” She looked away. Her voice faltered. “And AJ…he told me before he died that it was Sonny. But I didn’t tell anyone. I lied to Michael for months. And I do feel awful about it. You know, I mean, I had my problems with AJ, I guess. But—he was better for a while. Before Ava Jerome screwed him out of ELQ by lying about Kiki’s paternity—he like the guy I knew all those years ago—and Michael got into ELQ because of AJ.”

“Carly…” Jason just stared at her. He swallowed hard. “You lied to Michael for months about what happened to AJ? And Franco knew?”

“That’s why I had to marry him.” Carly nodded resolutely. “Because if I left him, he’d tell Michael. Except…he had secretly taped me and Sonny together, and Sonny admitted it, and God, it was awful. I wish like hell you had been here. I mean, Drew was—but he was Jake Doe, and we didn’t really know him yet. Michael and Sonny were estranged for months. Everything almost fell apart.”

Jason rubbed his face. “Christ, Carly.”

“I know, I know. But we got it back. Michael and Sonny patched things up—” Carly closed her mouth. “Anyway, Franco kind of went crazy. He showed the tape at the wedding. Humilated me in front of everyone. Destroyed Michael. Even if he’s not the same kind of crazy he was before the tumor…” She shook her head. “God help Elizabeth if she ever pisses him off. Because he’s still not right.”