I would swallow my pride
I would choke on the rhymes
But the lack thereof would leave me empty inside
I would swallow my doubt, turn it inside out
Find nothing but faith in nothing
Want to put my tender
Heart in a blender
Watch it spin round to a beautiful oblivion
Rendezvous, then I’m through with you
– Inside Out, Eve

---

Friday, September 27, 2002

Safe House: Living Room

Jason carefully edged his way down the hall, wincing at the pain in his side. Ripping his stitches the other day had probably set him back in his recovery—not to mention the week or so Sonny and the doctor had kept him drugged into oblivion.

He had been unable to sleep after Elizabeth had left that morning, and he couldn’t quite kick the idea that something was bothering her—something more drastic than Sonny lying to her and her worry over his condition. She had assumed he was hurt somewhere and Sonny was just not giving her the details, but her eyes had shifted away when she spoke.

He was missing something.

The front door opened, and Johnny strode in with a paper bag and a tray of coffees. It had been deemed relatively safe enough for Johnny to venture into the outskirts of Port Charles to replenish their supplies.

The single bag did not look as though it was enough to feed them for a day much less the weekend Jason had promised Sonny he would wait.

Johnny handed Jason a coffee and then set the bag down before fishing out a newspaper. “I take orders from Sonny,” the warehouse manager said. “I’ve worked for him longer than you have, you know.”

“I know,” Jason said, squinting. “Johnny—”

“And I was only a little irritated when you were promoted over guys who’d been here longer,” the other man continued. “You were younger. Less experienced. And there was a lot of grumbling. You know that.”

“I do—”

“Five minutes of working for you changed that. Even when you turned things over to Moreno, most of us knew why. And knew you’d be back. You were the right guy for the job at the wrong time.”

“Okay, but—

“When Sonny came back, and we went after the territory to get it back, that was fine by me. I respected you both—”

“Johnny, I get it. You followed orders.” Jason shook his head. “My problem isn’t with you—”

Johnny dropped the newspaper on the table in front of Jason as he spoke, and Jason abruptly closed his mouth, silenced by the headline. By the large color photographs. He had never been all that great at photographs, but these were easy to understand.

“’Morgan Memorial, No Suspects in Killing.’” Everything inside Jason seized as he unfolded the paper to read the caption beneath the grainy color photograph of Elizabeth, dressed in black, stepping out of a car with a similarly clad Bobbie at her side.  “’Jason Morgan’s grieving girlfriend’—” He stopped. “What the hell is going on?”

“I didn’t know until Elizabeth came here yesterday.” Johnny’s mouth twisted. “And Sonny…he gave her a royal guilt trip, so she’d lie to you about it. Didn’t want to set back your recovery or put you in danger—”

Jason skimmed the article that recapped some of the events. He’d been missing for two weeks, presumed to be in hiding—until a decomposed body was pulled from the harbor the week before. Testing had later positively identified—next of kin—

“She thought I was dead,” Jason said flatly. “And Sonny waited until yesterday to tell her.” Because Jason had left him no choice. How the hell—Sonny knew what she’d been through in the last few years—knew better than anyone how much she had struggled after Lucky—

“Give me a phone. Now.”

Queen of Angels: Cemetery

It was a cold, dreary, gray afternoon the day they put his little brother in the ground. AJ stood with his wife’s hand firmly in his, next to his mother and father. Emily leaning hard on Ned, with Alexis next to her, an arm around her shoulder.  Just a few paces away, on the other side of Courtney, stood Elizabeth, Gia and Bobbie.

Elizabeth’s face was pale. Blank. And he worried about her. He wanted to look after her because maybe it was the thing you were supposed to do when your brother was murdered. You should look after his family. And Elizabeth was his family.

But it was all AJ could do to get through the day.

He had been one of his brother’s pallbearers. Elizabeth had quietly asked him earlier that week, had asked Sonny if it would be okay. Sonny and some of the men who worked with Jason had also agreed, but Elizabeth wanted AJ to be there too.

To honor the relationship AJ and Jason had managed to create over the last few months.

He had carried his brother’s coffin from the church the day before and loaded it into the hearse. Had taken it from the hearse and carried it to the graveside.

And now he watched as the coffin was slowly lowered.

Soon his little brother would be alone. Beneath cold, dark dirt with nothing but a tombstone marking his place and time on this earth.

His grandparents left first, then his parents. Courtney drove back with Elizabeth and Emily. Slowly, one by one, the mourners at the grave left.

But AJ couldn’t bring himself to walk away.

“Junior?”

AJ turned to his cousin. “Oh. Hey. You’re still here—”

“I keep thinking about that last Christmas,” Ned murmured. “When he was Jason Quartermaine. I can’t even remember the last time I saw Jason Morgan. Now they’re both gone.” He put an arm around AJ’s shoulders. “I hate it. I knew he’d never get his memories back but if he was here—we could still hope.”

AJ closed his eyes, but the overwhelming guilt he normally felt—the knowledge that he had stolen that young man from his life and family—it wasn’t as sharp. It wasn’t his fault Jason was dead.

“I called Alexis yesterday because…I wasn’t sure what would happen with Jason gone,” AJ murmured. “I didn’t know what to do about the guardianship. Carly hasn’t said anything—”

“She can’t take him from you, can she?” Ned asked. His dark eyes glittered with anger. “After everything—”

“I asked Alexis, and—he left everything not related to the business to Elizabeth. Except guardianship. He left that to me. She just—she doesn’t know it yet.” He sighed. “So, I think I’m probably okay. Carly still would have to go to court to establish legal custody, and…”

AJ was quiet for a minute. Let the world settle around him. “All my life I tried to live up to him, to be a better man. And when I failed, I used it as an excuse to destroy my life. I’m looking at his grave, and I can’t—I wasted so much time trying to outdo him. I just…I want him back.” AJ’s eyes burned.

“But I don’t want a drink. So that’s good, right? I don’t want to drown myself in alcohol to lose the grief. I want to hold on to it. Because I finally got to know my brother this summer, and I don’t want to lose that.”

Ned’s arm around AJ’s shoulders tightened into a one-armed hug. “Hey, you want some good news? I’m going to tell the family tonight.”

“Yeah?”

“Alexis is pregnant.” Ned managed a half-smile. “We’re having a baby.”

AJ grinned—and for the first time in a week, felt lightness in his heart. “That’s incredible! Congratulations!” He hugged his cousin more tightly. “Michael’s gonna love having a younger cousin.”

“Let’s go back to the house so Alexis and I can tell the family.” Ned’s smile was a bit more genuine. “We could all use the boost.”

Quartermaine Mansion: Terrace

Emily rubbed her arms as she stepped out of the family room and smiled when she found Lucky standing there, with Nikolas at his side. “My guys.”

“Hey, Em.” Lucky kissed her cheek. “We were just coming back in—”

“It’s fine.” Emily shook her head. “It’s…this reception isn’t really for Jason—it’s for my family, and I know the Quartermaines are a lot to take in.” She turned and through the window, she could see Elizabeth sitting on the sofa, looking down at her lap. Next to her, AJ’s wife, Courtney, touched her shoulder.

She had returned to find that her best friend had…become someone else. Not that Elizabeth still wasn’t her best friend—but she could see the intimacy between Elizabeth and Courtney—the trust. And…with Gia.

“What happened last year?” Emily asked quietly. “Why is Elizabeth so distant—” She looked back at them and was surprised to catch guilty looks being exchanged. “All I knew was that everyone had broken up and that Liz was living with Gia—but I didn’t understand.”

“It’s complicated,” Nikolas began, but Lucky shook his head.

“The why is complicated, but the what isn’t. Nikolas and I lied to them. We lied to Gia for months. And then I lied to Elizabeth. And…” Lucky offered a light shrug. “We weren’t in love anymore. She just…had the courage to walk away first.” He nodded at Nikolas. “And he and Gia realized they brought out the worst in each other.”

“She also saw it first,” his brother said with a dry tone.

Emily bit her lip. “I guess it was naive of me to hope the four of us would be family forever,” she murmured.

“You don’t always have to like your family,” Lucky said, tipping her chin up and offering her a smile. “Sometimes you hate them. You fight. You walk away. And you come back better. We’re still family, Em. We’re just…estranged.” He nodded towards the window. “Elizabeth is still your best friend. When you come home next spring, when you graduate—she’ll be here. So will me and Nikolas.”

“You’re in New York—”

“At the moment,” Lucky said with a nod.  “I went there for space. To do an internship with a photographer my mother knew. I needed to figure out who I wanted to be. Because the guy I was going to be here? He was a selfish asshole who hurt people.”

“Lucky—”

“It’s better now,” Lucky said simply. “I know what I want from life, and I’ve finally…I’ve finally stopped hating myself for not being the guy everyone wanted me to be—” He held up a hand at Emily’s anguished expression. “The guy I thought everyone wanted me to be. And Nikolas and Gia stopped trying to outdo each other to be the most selfish. Elizabeth—”

The trio looked again at the window, at the brunette who had finished the foursome as she flashed a sad smile at Emily’s grandmother.

“And Elizabeth will get through this,” Lucky finished.

Emily turned back to him with a sigh. Had she spent the last few years completely blind to the people around her? Lucky seemed so different from the boy she’d left behind a year ago—but he seemed so at peace, so much…lighter. Nikolas looked unhappy, with lines at the corners of his mouth no one in their mid-twenties should have.

She didn’t know them anymore, didn’t know the ins and outs of their lives or why they had changed. She didn’t know how her brother and Elizabeth had fallen in love—only knew that Jason had seemed happy when they’d last spoken—that Elizabeth’s phone calls had been more frequent and joyful over the last summer—

It was so unfair that all that promise was gone—that Emily would never be able to see what her brother and best friend were like together—that they wouldn’t get to have that life together.

“C’mon, let’s go in and give Elizabeth a break from having to be strong for everyone else,” Emily suggested, linking arms with her friends.

Quartermaine Mansion: Foyer

Bobbie slid her pager back into her bag and touched Monica’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry—I got called in and—”

“Oh.” Monica shook her head. “Thank you for coming—does—does Elizabeth have a way home? I thought she came with you to the cemetery—” Her voice faltered as she said the final words.

“She drove with me, but Gia’s here, so—can you let her know I had to leave?” Bobbie paused as the door to the family room opened, and Edward found them.

She had not seen the Quartermaine patriarch since their tense and bitter dispute at Carly’s will reading in May, and they had not spoken after Bobbie found out Edward had visited Michael’s school.

“Bobbie. I was hoping to find you—”

“I was just on my way out—”

“This won’t take long.” Edward stepped towards her, and then touched Monica’s arm. “Is everything all right?”

“I was just…going to tell Elizabeth that Bobbie had to go—” Monica flashed a smile at Bobbie. “I’ll make sure she gets back to the Brownstone.” She disappeared into the family room.

Edward sighed, looking after her. “It seems so final,” he murmured. “I didn’t realize I had held out hope he could still…come back to us until…” He trailed off, then focused on Bobbie. “I wanted to—I realize I was—I was not—after Carly—”

“Be good to AJ,” Bobbie said. “He’s worked hard, and he deserves your trust. I—” She hesitated. “I always understood your anger, Edward. And I know what happened with Michael wasn’t about me.”

“Still. I thought I knew best, and I could have ruined AJ’s chances. I just—I should trust him more. He’s earned it this summer.” His voice became even more gruff. “You look out for Elizabeth. Take care of her. She’s been good to this family, and we all worry about her.”

“She won’t be alone,” Bobbie said. “I really do have to get to the hospital. Take care of yourself, Edward, and Lila. My prayers are with you.”

“And ours with you.”

Quartermaine: Living Room

Most of the mourners had gravitated towards the family room where the terrace opened out into the garden, so when Emily drew Elizabeth away from the others, she took her to the front foyer. She had also invited Gia and Courtney, and AJ had followed them. She wanted Elizabeth to feel comfortable, to have her support system around her.

But Emily also wanted to find a way to still be part of Elizabeth’s life—not just because she had been so close to her once, but Elizabeth…was the last link to her brother.

“How long are you staying?” Lucky asked as a slightly awkward silence fell on the group. “Do you have to go back right away?”

Emily sighed. “I could only get a few days this week, but I have a break coming up in a few weeks—I’m coming back for about a week in early October. I moved some things around, talked to some professors—I wanted to stay longer—” She shook her head. “I wish like hell I hadn’t gone to UCLA after my rehab finished. I just want to be home.”

“But you’re doing okay out there, right?” Gia asked with a forced casual smile. “You like it?”

“Oh. Yeah. It’s a great program. And I’ll be able to finish my degree in half the amount of time, so—yeah.” She exhaled slowly.

Another silence fell on the group, but Lucky broke it after a moment. “Do you remember when I introduced you to Jason?” he said to Elizabeth. “I think you’d met him before, but it was that day in the boxcar—”

“Oh.” Elizabeth grimaced. “When he came to tell you he was…changing jobs and I embarrassed myself.” She rolled her eyes. “God, I was such a kid—”

“I thought it was funny.” Lucky looked at the others. “She asked if, like, his enemies were gonna come after me—”

“Oh, come on, I did not say it that way—” Elizabeth bit her lip and winced. “Oh, God. But that’s what I meant, and he knew it. He was laughing at me. You know how he does that—he doesn’t actually laugh—” She stopped, as if realizing she was still talking about him as if he were alive. A shadow started to creep back into her expression.

“But you could see it in the way he responded that he was enjoying himself at your expense on the inside,” AJ said quickly with a wry grin. “Yeah. I remember. Obviously, he didn’t think you were too ridiculous.”

“He was a good guy,” Lucky said. “I didn’t always remember that, but it’s easier now. He gave me a job, gave me a way to support myself when I left home. Gave me a home. I should have—” He shook his head. “I should have remembered that before.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Nikolas said with a stubborn glare at Elizabeth who returned his scowl.

“It wasn’t his,” Lucky said easily, and Emily squinted at him. He’d only left Port Charles in May. Could three months away really have given him this kind of peace of mind?

“It was both of ours,” Elizabeth murmured. “But we stopped it.”

“Hey, the first time I met Jason, I totally tried to get him into bed,” Gia said, with a brash grin. Nikolas turned his irritation on her and she just shrugged. “What? I hated Elizabeth, and she clearly wanted him, so it seemed like a good idea.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes—it obviously wasn’t the first time she’d heard that story, so Emily tried to smile at it.

“The first time I met Jason, I got shot,” Nikolas muttered.

“And he saved your life,” Elizabeth shot back. She got to her feet. “I’m going to go—”

“No.” Emily rose. “Nikolas, c’mon—”

“What? We’re sitting around eulogizing the guy like he didn’t get himself killed. People around him die—”

“What about you?” Elizabeth demanded. “You’re a Cassadine. How many people have died around you?”

“Hey, I don’t invite the danger,” Nikolas retorted.

“Really?” Elizabeth snorted. “Pretty sure last year was entirely your idiotic idea—”

“Guys—”

“And it worked,” Nikolas said flatly. “Stavros is dead. Lucky is free. And Helena is locked away. The danger is over for me, but you don’t even see that this is the best thing that could have happened to you—”

“Nikolas!” Emily growled. “That’s my brother you’re talking about—”

“Whatever. You stay, Liz. Clearly, I’m the only person here who lives in reality—”

Elizabeth stopped him as he started to stand. “Don’t talk to me about reality, Nikolas. All I have ever done is support you. You wanted to marry Katherine Bell? I stood by you even though everyone of us knew you were insane—”

“Katherine Bell?” Lucky said with a frown.

“That’s not fair—”

“You wanted to date the woman who blackmailed Emily—”

“Hey—” Gia said with a scowl.

“And I stood by you even though she was literally the worst—”

“I mean, that’s some strong language,” Gia muttered. “I’m not that bad—”

“And every time you told me that I just had to stick it out, that if I walked away from Lucky, he’d be lost forever, I let you punish me. I let you guilt me into staying. Don’t—” She broke off, shook her head. “You don’t have some high moral ground here, Nikolas. You have been punishing me for years—”

“Punishing you for what?” Nikolas demanded.

“Don’t make me—” Elizabeth huffed. “Don’t make me say this in front of them.”

“No, say it—”

“You don’t like Jason because I fell in love with him, and not with you when we thought Lucky was dead,” Elizabeth snarled. “That’s where this started, and you damn well know it. You tried to kiss me the night of my birthday party, and I pushed you away. And you have never forgiven me for turning to someone else.”

Nikolas’s face stilled as he swallowed. “That is not true—”

“And when you thought I had moved on, you threw Lucky in my face. You used him against me, tried to make me feel guilty like I was supposed to be alone forever—”

Lucky squinted. “Is that why Helena made me say you belonged with Nikolas all the goddamn time? Because you wanted Elizabeth—”

“This is fascinating,” Gia murmured to Courtney who smacked her in the arm. “Ow, what? I’m not supposed to be entertained?”

“You can throw Jason’s life in my face all you want, but we both know the truth.” She looked to Gia. “I want to leave. Can you—Bobbie was my ride—”

“Yeah, yeah. Even though I’m literally the worst.” Gia got to her feet and shook her head at her former fiancé. “Man, you should have just let it go. You really are a dink.”

Elizabeth looked at Emily’s stricken face. “I’ll call you later. We’ll—we’ll talk.”

And then she left the room, Gia hurrying after her.

“Is that true?” Emily asked softly. “Did you—kiss her—and then throw Lucky—”

“She makes it sound simple,” Nikolas muttered as he scrubbed his hands over his face. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Except it was.” Lucky tilted his head. “Carly told me that they were sleeping together, and I went to you. And you…you had to know the truth by then. Except—you didn’t tell me. You told me that Jason was a bad influence on her, that he’d nearly gotten her killed. You never told me they weren’t together.” He rose to his feet. “And you know, I didn’t…I didn’t believe her when she said nothing happened. Because you were my brother, and I thought she was trying to spare my feelings.”

“Lucky—” Nikolas paused. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

“Well, this has been fun,” Emily said with some irritation. “Now I remember why I went to school in California. I just wanted to sit here with people I loved and mourn my brother. I wanted Elizabeth to feel safe here. And you had to make it about you,” she said with derision towards the man she had loved once so fiercely. Nikolas grimaced.

“Em—”

“You can show yourself out,” she said with a snarl and stalked from the room.

Gia’s Car

“I didn’t mean it.”

Gia shrugged as she maneuvered down the Quartermaine’s long driveway towards Harborview Road. “I literally was the worst, so it’s okay.”

“Yeah, but—”

“Hey, let me tell you how much fun it was to see you finally let loose on my idiot ex-fiancé.” Gia made a left and turned towards the waterfront. “He’s the only one who didn’t get to hear your wrath when it all went down, so I was wondering if you’d get around to him.”

“I just— I can’t believe he did that. That he made it all about him. Emily just wanted to talk about her brother. To be with her friends. And Lucky was trying so hard—”

“It was nice, hearing him talk about Jason without violence in his eyes.” Gia glanced at her. “Look, you’re already dealing with the guilt of having to bury a casket with a fake body, and then mourn with his family. Don’t take on Nikolas’s idiocy with that.”

“He’s just—” Elizabeth closed her mouth. “He hasn’t been right since Stefan faked his death that summer after we lost Lucky. And then Katherine Bell lied about being pregnant—he wasn’t in love with me, Gia. I was just…safe. A link to Lucky. And I don’t know, maybe if I hadn’t…found Jason. Hadn’t already started to work through my grief—maybe I would have been—” She stopped. “But I can’t make excuses for him. He had no right to do that to Emily. And for all he knows, I’m actually grieving Jason.”

She looked at the window as they left behind the ritzy neighborhood of the Quartermaines. “And I’m already irritated with myself for lying to Jason. It didn’t take a lot to set me off today.”

“Jason will understand.”

“I just…” Elizabeth was quiet for a moment. “When this is over, everything will change. You weren’t here when Jason found out about Sonny and Carly, but it was—he wouldn’t tell me exactly what happened. He’s always held things close to the chest, but I knew they’d done something. He cut them both out, but he just seemed so uncertain, and God, that’s the one thing Jason just never—he was never uncertain. He always knew what he was doing. Where he was going. What he was thinking. They stole that from him.”

Gia pulled up to a red light and flicked on her blinker to turn onto Elm Street. “And now, Sonny has forced the people who love Jason to mourn him. To memorialize and bury him. He’s stolen Jason’s entire life this time.”

“He couldn’t figure out how to do his job after what happened with Carly. He tried for a little, but it was part of the reason he left. Sonny isn’t just his partner, Gia. Not just his friend. He’s—he’s a brother—”

“He’s a father figure,” Gia corrected. “Brothers get to mess up. Father figures get put on pedestals. When they mess up, it screws with the whole order of things.” She was quiet for a moment. “I know what it’s like for the man you think of as your father to destroy your entire world.”

Elizabeth frowned at her. Gia didn’t often speak of the time before she’d arrived in Port Charles, of her life after her brother had left home and Elizabeth had never pushed her. “Gia—”

“Anyway. It’s a mess no matter how you look at it. You’re pissed at Sonny, pissed at yourself for being in the position of having to grieve at all—just because Jason wasn’t actually dead, as far as you were concerned, he was. And you gotta deal with that. Plus, Sonny lied to Jason. And Jason’s gonna find out. How are you supposed to protect yourself when all you wanna do right now is protect him?”

“Can I even do both?” she asked softly. “Should I even try? I’m…I’m just tired of pretending to be something I’m not. Someone I’m not. I really thought this part of my life was over.”

Safe House: Living Room

Sonny had thought he might have more time before Jason discovered the truth. A few more days—there were hints that a hit was being planned, some rumors that someone was shopping out for a hired gun. Nothing tangible, nothing Sonny could use to find out who was involved—

But he thought he might be close.

And then Jason’s phone call had come that morning.

He’d always known Jason would never have agreed to this plan if he’d known—if Sonny had given him the choice. He’d known that Jason would be angry. That it would strain the bonds of friendship—

But Jason didn’t want to hear Sonny’s reasons, didn’t care that Sonny had seen it as a choice between hurting Elizabeth and his family for a little while to protect them from something worse happening. Something more permanent.

“They all think I’m dead, Sonny.” Jason threw the newspaper at him, his face set in that empty expression Sonny knew so well. Jason only retreated like this when he was too angry or too hurt to deal with the emotions.

“I know.” Sonny picked the paper up from the floor and smoothed his hand over the photo of Elizabeth and Bobbie at the funeral. “I told you. They were going to try something to drag you out of hiding—we were lucky to intercept those guys before they grabbed Elizabeth at her studio. She was almost kidnapped—”

“Then you tell me. And we deal with it. You don’t fake my death, Sonny!” Jason shot back. “And you let Elizabeth think I was dead—and then you convinced her to lie about it. What the hell did you think you were going to prove?”

“I—” Sonny hesitated. Sat down. “I knew that the second they confirmed the identity, Taggert would go straight for her. To tell her. To test her reaction. If the cops didn’t believe it, if Elizabeth didn’t believe it—”

“Bullshit,” Jason said quietly. “You deliberately lied to Elizabeth. You know she could have done this. She’s lied before. She lied to me, and I almost bought it. She could have done this. But you cut her out.” He looked away. “Everyone who matters the most to me in the world, Sonny—they think I’m dead. My grandmother. My sister.” He swallowed. “Michael. My parents. Bobbie.”

“I—” Sonny exhaled slowly. “I keep underestimating the people doing this. I keep thinking that if we do this one thing, then we’ll find them. If you go to the warehouse, we’ll get answers. If I keep you out of sight, if I fake your death—I can’t get ahead of them, Jason. Maybe I lied to Elizabeth for other reasons, but I’m not lying about the danger she was in—”

“How long do you expect me to wait?” Jason demanded roughly. “To put my family through this?”

At his side, Benny cleared his throat. “We’ve had some rumors about some men moving around. We know Roscoe’s behind Carly’s disappearance. Nico’s involved—he’s been seen meeting with Roscoe, but we got some evidence that Zander Smith might still be a factor.”

“Zander—”

“Which means Hector Ruiz might be the mastermind,” Sonny cut off Jason’s surprised reply. “We confirmed Zander’s running a crew down there. But he was in Port Charles a few days ago—and he made it a point to seek out Elizabeth. He was testing her reaction. She got angry at him, went after him—and he got on a plane shortly afterwards. He never tried to see Emily or anyone else.”

Jason waited a moment. “Hector Ruiz. Those men moving around—”

“Are his men. And wherever Hector goes—”

“Javier and Manny do, too.” Jason looked away. Swallowed hard. And Sonny knew he had him.  “Okay. What’s the plan?”

“They wanted you out of the way, Jason, to get at Sonny,” Benny said. “That’s another reason we think Zander is involved. There aren’t many people who would know that taking out Sonny can’t be the endgame if you’re still in play. He came to see Elizabeth—because Zander probably knows you wouldn’t lie to her. And nothing would draw you out of hiding like going after Elizabeth. He’s the inside track.”

Jason scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m not hearing a goddamn plan, Benny.”

“We’re still working that out,” Sonny admitted. “A week, Jase. No longer. I promise.”

Jason looked at him with that same empty expression. “That’s all you get. But the lying to Elizabeth stops now. Do you get that? I trusted—” He stopped. Shook his head. “It just stops now.”

“Yeah.” Sonny stepped back, set the newspaper he still held on the back of the sofa. “Yeah, okay. A week, and this will all be over.”

But the words felt empty even as he said them. He’d made his choices. He would defend them to his last breath.

And ultimately, Sonny would have to live with them.

But if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like
Nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes
Does it almost feel like
You’ve been here before?
– Pompeii, Bastille

---

Thursday, September 26, 2002 

Queen of Angels: Anteroom

Gia hesitated when she stepped over the threshold of the church. She could see through the main doors that Elizabeth and Bobbie were at the front of the chapel, speaking quietly with Father Coates before the memorial.

But Emily was here. In this room. With her brother and Courtney.

They turned at her entrance. Courtney smiled at her, a sad smile, but they were the only ones who weren’t…really reeling from this loss. Jason had been on the peripheries of their lives, not a central character.

Emily hesitated, then broke away from the pair to approach Gia. Her eyes swollen and red, she said in a rough voice, “Do you have a minute to talk?”

“Sure,” Gia said. And if Emily wanted to throw shade at her, read her to filth for her past actions—whatever Emily needed to do in this moment, Gia would let her.

Gia had an older brother who was at the center of her universe too, after all.

“I know…” Emily said after they had gone to the courtyard. She paused. “I know we’ve had our differences. That—that we’ve never been…friendly, but, um…” Her voice broke. “I know you and Elizabeth are close now. And that you’ve been here in a way this year that I don’t know if I could have.”

“Emily, listen—”

“No, no just—” Emily took a deep breath. “When Lucky died, we all…we all drowned. And we couldn’t save each other. We didn’t—we should have clung to one another, but we just couldn’t. We didn’t lose him in the same way, and maybe we were just too young to know how to help each other.” She cleared her throat. “But it helped for Elizabeth to have someone who didn’t lose him that way—but had known him all the same—it helped her. My brother—” Emily sucked in a deep breath. “Oh, God.”

“Hey, listen—” Gia touched her shoulder. “Listen,” she repeated. “I’m here for Liz, no questions. Because she’s been here for me. But—I can be here for you. I think about losing Marcus, and even though he literally annoys me more than anyone on Earth, if I lost him, I would lose my center. I would lose my goddamn mind. So, listen. Yeah, I’m here for Liz. And we’ve never been friends, you and me. But that was then. This is now.”

“I just—I can’t—I can’t stop thinking—I always knew it would be this way. I knew it,” Emily said fiercely. “I knew he’d been shot before. He’s almost died. But I didn’t—I always thought—I thought he was Superman. That bullets couldn’t break him. And they did. They took him from the world, and he was just—he was just—Elizabeth sounded happy when we talked. Jason sounded happy. They were happy. What kind of world does this—”

Her face crumbled, and the tears Emily had been holding back broke though. Gia embraced her, her old enemy, this girl she’d never been kind to, and held her while she sobbed.

Queen of Angels: Chapel

“Mama.”

Bobbie turned away from Elizabeth at the sound of her daughter’s voice and winced. “Carly.”

“I—” Carly’s face was swollen as if she had done nothing but cry since she’d heard the news. “I just—” She looked at Elizabeth who hadn’t moved since Carly’s approach.

Elizabeth was so fragile, so brittle—Bobbie took her daughter’s elbow and started to steer her away. “I just wanted to tell her I was—”

“There is nothing you could say to Elizabeth right now that would make this go away.” Bobbie shook her head. “I don’t know what you said to him that day, what put this all in motion, but—”

“Mama, I—” Carly closed her eyes and said flatly, “You’re blaming me.”

“I’m blaming the man who shot him,” Bobbie retorted. “I’m blaming Sonny Corinthos for introducing him to this life. Jason for staying. I’m blaming myself. But if you said something to him, and he went to that warehouse because of you, then, yes, Carly, I blame you.”

“Of course you do.” And just like that the grief slid from Carly’s expression. The distaste. The bitterness. The venom. It was back. “You loved Jason more than me. Elizabeth. They’re your family. Not me.”

“I made you my family when you didn’t give me a reason to.” Bobbie sliced her hand through the air. “But, yes, Jason and Elizabeth are part of my family, too.” Her eyes softened just a bit as she took in the misery behind Carly’s anger.

“I know you feel like you’ve never measured up. Not to BJ. Not to Robin. Elizabeth is not competition for your place in my life. Or your place in Jason’s life. And I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel that way. You are my daughter, and I love you, Carly. But you have to stop this.”

“I don’t know how—” She swallowed her sobs. “Because, oh, God, it is my fault, and I don’t know if I can live with that.”

“And I don’t know if I can help you with that. Not anymore. I have to think about Michael. And about my family. I can’t make you a better person, Carly. That will be up to you.”

——

Elizabeth floated through the memorial. It was short—Jason never would have wanted anything elaborate or complicated. Father Coates said a few words, but no one got up to speak. Emily tried, but she was crying too hard, and Ned and AJ had to carry her back to her seat.

Elizabeth wanted to—God, she nearly stood. But what she had to say about Jason wasn’t for anyone else’s ears. It was just for her own.

Sonny had sat down next to her before the service had begun, and she had forgotten she was angry at him. Forgotten that she blamed him. She just let him sit there and took solace in the fact that he had loved Jason, too. The anger, the bitterness…that could wait.

She sat between Bobbie and Sonny, her hands clasped tightly in Bobbie’s, Sonny’s arm around her shoulder. And just…floated.

His casket was up there, his photograph was next to it. He was smiling in it—a photo Bobbie had said was from one of the times he had gone to the Nurse’s Ball with Robin, who had not flown in from Paris, though Bobbie said she had called. Had tried to get away.

These were just facts to Elizabeth now. Just pieces of a life she couldn’t seem to grasp.

Carly was sitting in the back. Elizabeth could see Monica, Lila, and Emily in the front pew on the other side. AJ and Courtney were behind Elizabeth and Bobbie. Taggert and Gia were sitting quietly a few rows in front of Carly. Alan, Ned, and Edward behind their family. Lucky and Nikolas were across from Taggert and Gia.

After Father Coates closed the prayers, the Quartermaines shuffled past the coffin. Saying their last respects. Monica’s knees buckled, but Alan kept her upright and helped her back to her seat.

Emily didn’t leave her seat, and God, Elizabeth couldn’t bring herself to do it either.

She couldn’t look at the coffin. Couldn’t accept that Jason was inside of it.

“I can’t stand it,” she murmured, her voice breaking after Bobbie had gone up to talk to Edward and Lila. “He’s trapped in there. We should—we should have had him cremated, Sonny. We-we did it wrong. He should be free. Can we—” She sucked in a breath, because it hurt so much to think about it. But she had to do it.

Had to do right by him. “I want—can we talk to the Quartermaines? Or is it you? I don’t even know who did any of this. We should—he needs to be free, Sonny. Please, please—”

“Elizabeth—” Sonny closed his eyes, bowed his head, and she felt like a horrible villain. This was Sonny’s best friend Elizabeth was talking about. Sonny’s brother.

“I—I’m sorry—”

“No, No, don’t.” Sonny got to his feet. “But you’re right. It’s wrong.” He looked over, his eyes wet. “I did it all wrong,” he said hoarsely. “It’s—come back to the penthouse with me. We can—let’s talk about it, okay?”

“I—” Elizabeth swallowed, let Sonny pull her to her feet. “I’m supposed to go to the Quartermaines, but—” She took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. I can’t stand it anymore. I don’t want to go to the cemetery tomorrow and bury him. I-I can’t. It’s not too late, is it?”

“No.” Sonny smoothed his hand down her back as they approached Emily, who had been joined by Courtney and Bobbie. “No, it’s not too late.”

“I know there’s a reception at the mansion,” Elizabeth told her friends, “but Sonny—Sonny asked me to come to the penthouse.”

“A quiet dinner, maybe…just…some…quiet,” Sonny repeated.

“Of course,” Bobbie murmured, pressing a kiss to Elizabeth’s forehead. “Call me, okay, sweetheart?”

“I’m sorry, Em,” Elizabeth began.

“Hey—” Emily shook her head. “You have to do what’s right for you. I wanna be surrounded by family, but you don’t have to want that. Go be with Sonny. Jason—” She looked at Sonny. “Jason loved you so much.”

“I know,” Sonny murmured, his voice tight. “Let’s get going before the press gets it in their head to follow us.”

Limo

Elizabeth closed her eyes, leaning back against the smooth leather of the back seat. “I’ve been so angry at you.”

“Elizabeth—”

She continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “But I should have thought about you. That you were worried, too. I shouldn’t have shut you out—or let you shut me out—”

“Elizabeth…” Across from her, Sonny just shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Listen. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all of this. God, Elizabeth, I never wanted you hurt again. You know that—”

“I know.” Elizabeth blinked as she realized they had driven longer than it would have normally taken to travel from the Queen of Angels to Harborview Towers. “Are we going in circles or something? Are we trying to lose the press?”

“Oh. No.” Sonny felt the car slow. “Listen to me,” he said, leaning forward. “No matter what you think going forward, Elizabeth, you matter to me. You are part of my family. You have been part of my family longer than my own sister—”

“Sonny—”

“And I know that these last few weeks have been devastating. That you—I know how much you’re hurting. And I want to make that go away for you. But you know…you knew what kind of life Jason and I—what our business is. Jason told me you knew. I know that knowing is different from being in the middle of it, but we just—sometimes we have to make choices that we hate. To protect everyone.” The car started to ride over gravel, the rocks crunching beneath the tires until it came to a complete stop.”

Elizabeth frowned at him. “Sonny, what’s going on—” She frowned when Max opened the car door.

She stepped outside, still frowning as she took in the trees around them, the simple stone English-style cottage set back against the lake. “Sonny—Are we trying to avoid the press?”

This time, Sonny nodded. “Yeah. Something like that. Let’s just…let’s go inside.”

Inside the house, Elizabeth frowned when she saw Johnny O’Brien lounging on a sofa, irritated with a magazine in his hands, flexing his left arm as if it was sore. “What’s going on?” she asked.

“Johnny was with Jason that night,” Sonny said. He looked at her now, and his expression was empty. Stony. “Jason was shot twice, and Johnny kept him alive until we got him to this safe house. There’s a medical facility here.”

Elizabeth opened her mouth, then closed it. “Jason…was alive when he left the—I don’t understand—” Except she thought…maybe she did and everything inside her was screaming.

“I kept him sedated for the first week because I knew he would want to see you. And it was hell keeping him here the next two weeks once we finally stopped—”

“Just stop—” Elizabeth held up her hands, shook her head. “What…what is happening right now? What do you mean you kept him sedated—what the hell, Sonny—”

“Sonny,” Johnny said, slowly, “why is she dressed like she’s coming back from a funeral?”

Sonny closed his eyes. “Elizabeth, Jason is in the back. He’s…he was shot. He almost died, that wasn’t a lie. It was touch and go. The blood loss was severe—”

“Oh my God, oh my God, you faked his death—” She pressed her fist to her mouth. Looked at Johnny. “You—you lied. You knew where he was. You knew he was okay, and oh, God, you arranged for a body—”

“A body—” Johnny’s eyes bulged. “Fuck off, Sonny. What did you do?”

“You didn’t know—” Elizabeth’s eyes started to burn from the tears. “What—”

“Jason never would have let that—” But Johnny shut his mouth.

“Listen to me, this was all me.” Sonny planted a hand against his chest. “I lied to you. I put the plan in motion. And I got reason to believe it’s working, okay? And it only works if Jason doesn’t know.”

“W-What?” Elizabeth sputtered. “What are you talking about?” She shook her head. She had to think. Had to get through this. Had to understand. “Jason didn’t fake his death. You did it. You put us through this for business—”

“A week ago, before the body was found, we caught two men lying in wait at your studio,” Sonny said bluntly. “They did not believe Jason was hurt badly enough to get what they wanted from me, so they decided they would force their hand. Taking you would have forced Jason to come out of hiding.”

Elizabeth pressed her trembling lips together. “And if I went back there—if I told him—”

“He’s not recovered enough to come back yet,” Sonny said. “And you know the cops. They’re crawling all over this. But yeah, he finds out what’s happening, he’ll want to end it, and he’ll put his recovery in jeopardy.”

“Sonny,” Johnny muttered. “C’mon—”

“He knows that you didn’t know. He’s pissed at me for that, too. It was all I could to convince him to wait. To give me time to solve this. But you cannot tell him—”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve asking for me for anything right now,” she hissed. “For three weeks, I have been living in a nightmare. For the past week, I’ve been grieving my future with him, and you’re here, telling me that it was all a lie. That none of it was real—”

“I did what I had to do to protect you,” Sonny said. “I never wanted to hurt you, but I couldn’t avoid it. If they had taken you, Elizabeth—” He shook his head. “I know what you’ve been through. So yeah, I put you through this because I didn’t want something worse.”

She closed her eyes. “Then why am I here today?”

“Because Jason threatened to walk to town again on his own to find transportation if Sonny didn’t bring you,” Johnny said bluntly. “And this time, Sonny couldn’t talk him out of it.”

“Why is he back there? He would have heard the car—heard us talking—it’s not that big a house—”

“The doctor drugged him again,” Johnny muttered. “Said Jason was moving around too much. He ripped his stitches when he was yelling at Sonny yesterday—”

Sonny winced. “Johnny—” He sighed. “He’ll be coming out of it soon. That’s why I asked you to come to the penthouse for dinner. You can stay for a while. Over night.” Sonny looked at Max who was standing impassively at the door, and Elizabeth noticed the bag in his hands for the first time. “We brought some things for you to change into—”

“So Jason doesn’t see my black dress and wonder?” Elizabeth said, acidly. “You kept him drugged and confined to a room for three weeks, Sonny. You lied to everyone in his life that he loves. You—you planted a body that was so decomposed we had to have a closed casket, and now you want me to go into that room and keep lying to him. To the man I love—” She shook her head. “And if I don’t, it’ll just prove you right, won’t it?”

Sonny hesitated. “Elizabeth—”

“You may tell yourself that you were just protecting me, but you were testing me. And at some point, I must have failed, right? Was it that first night? When I answered Taggert’s questions? When I admitted I knew more than I should? When exactly did I let you down, Sonny?”

“You didn’t—”

“If I go in that room, and I tell him the truth, and I tell him what you’ve done to his life, to me—that’ll just make you right. You’ll just feel justified that I’m a little girl who doesn’t understand Jason or his life. You lied to me, Sonny. And you, more than anyone else, know what you’re asking of me.” She shook her head. “I’m not giving you the satisfaction. I’ll keep your fucking secret. Because I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to be the one to tell him what you’ve done. I can’t break his heart. That’ll have to be you.”

She turned away from him, turned her back and looked at Johnny, who looked supremely uncomfortable. “Take me to him. I want—” Her voice broke. “I need to see him. And I need him to see me when he wakes up. So, show me where to change, so I can be with Jason.”

Johnny remained silent as he showed Elizabeth to a bathroom where she quickly shed her black dress and pulled on a pair of jeans and long-sleeved shirt. She shoved the dress into the duffel bag and followed Johnny to a closed door.

“He’s still out of it,” Johnny told her with a sigh. “It was the only way to keep him still long enough to put the stitches back in. He really doesn’t know—I’m sorry—”

“It’s fine,” she said with a shake of her head. “I just—” She swallowed hard. “I need to see him. I can’t believe it until I see him.”

“He’s going to kill Sonny,” Johnny muttered but he left her alone at the door and returned to the front of the house.

Elizabeth stared at the door for a long moment before pushing it open.

The room was in shadows—the only light from the setting sun peeking through the white blinds stretched across a bay window. It was a plain room with bare walls, a wooden dresser and a pair of matching nightstands flanking a wide double bed.

And in that bed, even in the dim light, she could see that Jason was stretched out, his eyes closed, his face turned slightly towards her.

His chest gently rising and falling as he slept.

He was alive. He was breathing.

She stifled the sob that bubbled up in her throat, biting hard on her fist. Jason was shirtless, so the white bandages stretched across his chest were stark against the gray comforter and sheets, one affixed high on his left shoulder, and the other was lower, closer to the heart.

How close had she come to losing him? She should have been here. Taking care of him. Making sure he ate. That he didn’t move.

Elizabeth crept forward, her bare feet making little sound on the threadbare carpet covering the floor. She perched on the other side of the bed, just staring at him.

He didn’t stir when the mattress dipped—and she knew that was from the drugs. He was such a light sleeper—almost as if the fluttering of her eyelids in the morning was enough to wake him. But he slept on even as Elizabeth gingerly stretched out on her side next to him, reached for his hand and laced her fingers in his.

He was alive. Everything else could wait.

Miami, Florida

Ruiz Compound: Hector’s Study

Zander was still pissed when he received the summons to meet with Ruiz and Alcazar as soon his flight landed at the local airport. He’d been sent to Port Charles to get an on the ground report from Roscoe and Nico, and he was starting to resent playing the middle man. When the hell was he going to have something show for this?

“The PCPD tests came in while I was there,” Zander said. He poured himself his own drink at Hector’s mini bar and didn’t bother to wait until he was offered a seat. “DNA confirms it was Morgan in the harbor.”

“How did he end up there?” Hector demanded. “Why did it take so long—”

“No way to know for sure. His is the only body that surfaced. Nico told me that no one’s seen Johnny O’Brien since the night Jason went missing either.” Zander shrugged. “Roscoe sent two guys. One came back—all he said was that Morgan has been shot, that it all went to hell. Does it matter?”

“I don’t like loose ends,” Alcazar murmured. “And I don’t like unexplained bodies. The body was decomposed?”

“Two weeks in the Port Charles harbor will do that.”

“Still.” Alcazar lifted a shoulder, took his cigar from his mouth and examined the tip. “It’s interesting that of the men unaccounted for—only Morgan showed up. And it was Morgan who was the target.”

Zander squinted. He hadn’t thought about it that way. “You think it’s a lie?”

“Does Sonny have the connections to pull that off?” Hector asked. “How hard it would it be? Bribe a few officials. Grease a few hands. Find a corpse that looks similar in build—”

“Nico and Roscoe didn’t seem to question it,” Zander said. “They were planning to grab Elizabeth Webber outside her studio last week, but the guys never came back. They figured Corinthos had someone on her.”

“Trying to draw Morgan out of hiding.” Alcazar looked at Hector. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know,” Hector admitted. “It’s…a pretty ballsy move to fake Morgan’s death. It’s not like he’s a standard soldier. Doesn’t he have connections in the city?”

“Yeah.” Zander ignored the pressure in his chest, the guilt swimming inside over Emily. “He doesn’t claim the Quartermaines, but they claim him. But I saw his girlfriend—Elizabeth Webber thinks he’s dead. And he’s not gonna lie to her.”

“Maybe he’s not lying to her.” Alcazar tapped the ashes of cigar into a stone tray on the edge of Hector’s desk. “And wouldn’t that be interesting if Corinthos was doing this on his own?”

“Why would that be interesting?” Zander said. “We wanted Morgan dead—”

“I wanted to destroy Sonny Corinthos,” Alcazar corrected. “Morgan is incidental. You told me I’d have to get past Morgan to get to him. If Corinthos went ahead and faked Morgan’s death without even telling the Webber girl—well, I suppose we’ll just see how much blind loyalty he has for his boss.”

“Roscoe and Nico are planning a hit next week,” Zander said after a moment, because he didn’t know what the hell Alcazar was looking for here. It was as if Alcazar didn’t mind that the entire ambush might have failed—as if toying with Sonny Corinthos was nearly as much fun as actually killing him.

What the hell was his game?

“Odds are it will fail,” Hector told Alcazar. “Neither of them is all that bright. But you might get lucky. All you need is one bullet to hit its mark.”

“That’s what I’m counting on.” Alcazar shrugged. “But if this doesn’t work, we’ll just find another way to get at Corinthos. He’s not invincible.”

Safe House: Bedroom

He’d been drugged again.

Jason woke with a groggy groan as he turned his face into the pillow, irritated with the sluggish way his muscles responded to his brain’s commands to move.

He remembered arguing with Johnny—a pain in his chest—blood—and then the doctor—he must have ripped his stitches, because his chest felt sorer than it had in a few days.

He forced his eyes open and then turned his head sharply—someone else was in the room—

Elizabeth lay beside him, one hand on the pillow, another laying between them, just inches from his hand. He stared at her for a long moment, trying to clear his head. Had she been here before they drugged him? No. No, she wouldn’t have let them—

He turned his head to the other side where a digital clock told him it was nearly seven. Judging from the lack of light coming from the windows, it was evening.

Jason winced as he slowly sat up, pressing a hand to his chest, swinging his legs over the side. He had to start moving. Had to get up.

“Jason—” Elizabeth’s voice was slurred and then she jackknifed into a sitting position. Even in the shadowed room, he could see the white of her eyes. “Jason?”

“Hey…” he switched on the lamp on the night stand. “Hey. I’m right here.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth turned to him, her eyes wet with tears. She reached out, her fingers brushing his shoulder. “You’re real. I’m awake? I’m really here?”

“You are.” Jason scowled as he took in the dark circles under her eyes. He took her wrist in his hand—and was startled to find that it seemed thinner than it had the last time he’d seen her. “I’m sorry. I know Sonny didn’t…really tell you anything.”

“Um.” Elizabeth shoved her hair out of her face and looked away. “No.” Her voice trembled. “I thought…you were hurt. But I just—he didn’t tell me for sure.”

“I didn’t know,” he said. “I wouldn’t have done that to you, Elizabeth. You know that, don’t you? I—I don’t really remember what happened, but I know I asked for you.”

“Yeah, Johnny said something about that.

“Johnny?” Jason said with some irritation. “Sonny didn’t talk to you last week?” Damn it.

“No. I guess he was busy with other things,” she said bitterly. She drew her hand back. “Should you be sitting up? Johnny said you ripped your stitches.”

She hurried out of the bed, and around to his side to check on him and the bandages. Her fingers slid over the white gauze. “Sonny said it was…that it was close.”

“I guess. I don’t know. They kept me sedated for a while.” Jason caught her hand as she tried to push him back into a prone position. “Hey. Talk to me. I know this was hard—”

“It’s—” Elizabeth closed her eyes. “It was. But it’s over. And you’re okay. And I can see you’re okay. That helps.” She sucked in a deep breath. “I’m okay.”

“You’re not,” he said with a shake of his head. “C’mon—”

“I’m better than I was this morning,” she replied. “I slept, too. For a few hours. The longest since…Bobbie wanted Tony to give me something to sleep, but I refused. Because I hate the way it makes me feel, so I haven’t—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “I’ll be okay, Jason. Now that I know you’re—okay.”

She stumbled over the last word, and he narrowed his eyes, because there was something in the jerky movements of her hands—the way she wouldn’t quite look at him—something else was going on.

But she looked exhausted, and Jason didn’t want her to worry about him. So, he laid back on the bed and scooted over so that there was space on his right side. “Come here.”

Elizabeth stretched out next to him and gingerly laid her cheek against his shoulder as his arm came around to cradle her. “I love you,” she murmured.

“I love you, too.” He pressed his lips to the top of her head. “Let’s just…lay here.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” she said, her voice still wobbling. “I missed you.” Her shoulders jerked, and he heard the sob that slid past her lips. “I’m sorry—” Elizabeth started to pull back, but he tightened his hold and held her while she cried quietly.

Elm Street

It was early morning when the limo pulled up in front of Bobbie’s building. Elizabeth had not spoken a word to Sonny since leaving Jason that morning and getting into the car. She had refused an offer of coffee and breakfast, climbed into the car, and the thirty-minute drive had been nothing but stony silence.

“Elizabeth, I can’t let you go like this.” Sonny stopped her from exiting the limo, placing a hand over hers as she reached for the handle. “Please.”

“You know what hurts even more than knowing you didn’t trust me to do right by Jason?” Elizabeth said softly, staring straight ahead. “It’s that…I thought you understood. I didn’t want to be Robin—”

“You’re not—”

“You asked me to lie to Jason. And I did. And now I am going back to my life to live a lie that I know hurts the people I care about.” Elizabeth arched her brow. “Robin walked around for a year pretending Jason had cheated on her, that Michael wasn’t AJ’s son. And she did it because Jason had promised Carly. She lied to the Quartermaines. She was humiliated. And it broke her.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Emily is my best friend. Bobbie is like a mother to me. They are grieving beyond words, Sonny, and I can’t take that away. And when they do find out the truth, what happens to me? Do you think for one second they’re going to think I didn’t know?”

Sonny closed his eyes. “It’s just—it got so complicated—”

“You made me Robin. Even if I had been told the truth, you did the one thing I begged Jason not to do weeks ago.” Tears burned her eyes as she looked out the tinted window. Up at the safety of her apartment. “And you…put me through hell. You let me think he was dead, Sonny. A week after I poured my heart out to you about all of this…you did this to me.  I didn’t want to be broken again, Sonny. And you shattered me.”

She folded her arms tightly across her chest, trying to chase the chill that had set into her bones. “You broke apart my world, and you think bringing me to see him yesterday glued the pieces back together.”

“I—I thought it would help—”

“Every time I put myself back together, I feel a little more damaged,” she murmured. “And you knew that. I told you that.”

“Elizabeth—”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Elizabeth & Gia’s Apartment: Living Room

Gia was already awake, sipping a cup of coffee when Elizabeth walked through the door that morning. Her best friend blinked at her, straightening. “Hey. I got your message about not coming home—”

“He’s alive.”

She didn’t even know she was going to say it until the words spilled out of her lips. She had to lie to Jason. She had to lie to everyone in her life who loved her.

But she just wanted one person that she could be herself with.

Gia slowly set the coffee cup down and just stared at her. “Jason is alive,” she repeated. She got to her feet. “Are…are you sure you just didn’t—” She shook her head. “Stupid question. Of course you’re sure.”

Elizabeth nodded. And she swayed, falling to her knees. Sucking in deep breaths. Struggling to keep herself from blacking out.

Had it just been hitting her? Had it just been sinking in? Jason was alive.

It was a lie.

Gia came to her side, helped her to sit on the sofa. “Hey, hey—”

“I didn’t know. I didn’t know, I swear to God, I didn’t know—”

“Of course you didn’t know,” Gia said sharply. “Elizabeth—”

“Sonny—he lied to me. He lied to Jason. He doesn’t know either.”

“What does that mean?”

“Jason doesn’t know Sonny faked his death.” Elizabeth pressed her hands to her eyes. “And Sonny—I had to lie to Jason.  Oh, God, I lied to him. I didn’t tell him. He made me a liar again.” Her voice broke. “I don’t want to be a liar anymore.”