Don’t you plead me your case, don’t bother to explain
Don’t even show me your face, cause it’s a crying shame
Just go back to the rock from under which you came
Take the sorrow you gave and all the stakes you claim
And don’t forget the blame
– Sleep to Dream, Fiona Apple
Sunday, April 9, 2006
Corinthos & Morgan Warehouse: Loading Dock
“Uh, Jase?”
Wiping sweat from his brow, Jason heaved another bag of coffee from one pallet to another before turning to find his tech guy, Stan Johnson, with a worried look on his face. “Stan? What’s going on?”
“This is gonna sound weird, but my mom is in your office. She called me, trying to find you. She says she needs to talk to you.”
The only thing Jason and Epiphany Johnson had in common was Stan…and Elizabeth. Jason gestured for Stan to follow him as he weaved in and out of clusters of men switching between second and third shift, picking up pace as he neared the hallway of the offices.
Epiphany Johnson was standing in the middle of his office, a jacket pulled over a pair of scrubs. She lifted her brows. “You need to get your woman under control.”
“What?” Jason blinked and shook his head. “I don’t know what you mean—”
“Stan, this doesn’t concern you.” Epiphany pointed a finger at her son, who didn’t even bother to argue. He pulled the door shut as he left. “I told you. Elizabeth has been through more in the last forty-eight hours than some people deal with in a lifetime—”
“What happened? I just saw her last night—” Jason stepped towards Epiphany, furrowing his brow. “What happened?” he repeated.
“It was a mistake to let you anywhere near her yesterday. You keep away from her, and you tell your girlfriend to do the same. Elizabeth doesn’t owe either of you a damn thing—”
“What happened?” Jason cut in sharply, the slash in his voice rendering Epiphany speechless for a moment. “What is going on?”
“Elizabeth went to tell Lucky he’ll never be a cop again, and the little shit handled that about as well as you’d think.” Epiphany pursed her lips. “I don’t know what exactly he said to her, but she ran out of that room like the hounds of hell were chasing her—and then she ran into your fiancée.”
“Sam,” Jason said, dread creeping up his spine. “Why would she—”
“I just know that by the time Patrick and I got there, Elizabeth was crying, Sam was calling her a lying bitch, and the whole damn hospital was there.”
Jason closed his eyes, shook his head. He’d never—he’d never thought Sam would take this problem to Elizabeth but then again…he remembered now that Elizabeth told him the day on the docks, Sam had confronted her.
She hadn’t told him what Sam had said, but now…Jason worried. “Is she okay?”
“Patrick got a hold of Emily, who drove her home. I gave her the week off. And I got the board to agree to paid leave.” Epiphany smirked. “I suggested she’d be able to sue us for negligence since we hired the psycho.”
Then she narrowed her eyes, squinting at Jason like he was a bug on the sidewalk she’d like to stomp. “You keep yourself and that woman away from my nurse. She does not need your bullshit.”
“I know. I’ll deal with it.”
“Do that.”
And with that, Epiphany stalked out. Jason let his head fall back to look at the ceiling, frustrated with every single thing on the planet. He should have known after the conversation the night before that Sam wouldn’t let sleeping dogs lie.
He’d just thought she’d take it out on him.
“Uh, Jase…I just saw my mom walking out of her like she was about to do murder. Everything cool?”
“Yeah, yeah. Your mom—she’s just…she’s looking out for Elizabeth.”
“Yeah, she really likes her,” Stan offered. “You need anything from me? This Manny thing wrapped up yet?”
“I don’t know. The PCPD is probably still trying to figure out how to pin a murder charge on me, but I’m letting Justus worry about that.” Jason cleared his throat. “I gotta head out. I have some things to deal with.”
Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Living Room
Elizabeth rubbed her eyes and stepped back to let her father-in-law in. “Hey, Luke.”
“Hey, kid. Where’s the munchkin? He in his room?”
“No, Carly offered to watch him for me,” Elizabeth admitted. “She came to pick him up and take him to Thunder Island with Morgan.”
“Carly?” Luke frowned. “When did you two become friends?”
“Never.” Elizabeth closed the door and went back into Cameron’s room, where she was sorting his toys into boxes. “But Morgan and Cameron get along great, and I know Carly has a tough time finding parents who will let their kid hang out with Morgan.”
“Yeah, Caroline’s not a big hit with other moms, and that’s before you even throw Sonny into the mix.” Luke scratched his brow. “Uh…what are you doing?”
“Going through Cameron’s toys so I can pack them,” Elizabeth said flatly.
“I was afraid of that. Listen, Elizabeth, I know things seem bad right now—”
“Luke—”
“I’m just asking you to hear me out, Darlin’. I know my boy isn’t at his best right now—”
Elizabeth shook her head but realized she wouldn’t be able to concentrate on packing her things until she got Luke out of the apartment. It would be better just to let him do what he was gonna do and get over it. “His best, Luke? Really?”
“I—”
“Do you know what he said to me earlier?” Elizabeth asked. “When I went to the hospital, ready to overlook all the things he’d said and done, just to—just to try to put it behind us—” She looked at him. “He said he wanted to know where the girl in the snow went.”
“The girl in the…” She saw the moment Luke understood the reference. His Adam’s Apple bobbed. “Hell.”
“Your boy apparently liked me best when I was a weeping, fragile mess that needed him to breathe. He wants that girl back—”
“You know that’s not true—Liz, come on—”
“I don’t know any damn thing—” Elizabeth huffed, then stalked out of Cameron’s bedroom. She went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water. “Luke, I don’t know what the hell you expect from me.”
“I came here to beg you to give Lucky another chance.”
No. The word nearly burst from her lips like a bullet, but she bit it back. Luke didn’t know. He didn’t get it. “Luke—”
“I want you to remember the Lucky we knew once. The Lucky you and I knew before it all went to hell.” Luke pulled out a worn picture and shoved it at her. Elizabeth took it from him and sighed. Lucky’s smiling face holding his little sister. His parents with him.
God, she’d loved that boy. “When was this taken? I don’t remember his hair being that long.”
“About a year before you moved here.” Luke took the photo from her and smiled down at it himself. “He was a great kid. The kind of kid I knew I didn’t deserve. I don’t even know where he came from. It was like…this mix of everything good and pure about me and Laura—you know what I mean.”
“I do. That was a long time ago.” Elizabeth sat at their cramped table. “I have a little boy of my own—”
“I know. I know. But you just—you gotta understand then. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my boy. You feel that way about Cameron.” Luke sat at the other seat, his blue eyes intent on hers. Focused. “If your little guy was hurting, if you knew a way to help him, wouldn’t you do anything?”
“I—” Elizabeth felt her breath catch. “Yes. But—”
“I know Lucky has…he’s done terrible things. Shameful. Barbara Jean told me everything—”
“What? No—”
“It’s just you and me here, kid.” Luke’s eyes, always so kind and understanding, were soft. “You know I’ll believe you. I can see the bruise Barbara told me about.”
Elizabeth touched her face. “It—he pushed me. I fell into the wall…”
“I’m sorry. There’s never a reason—” Luke swallowed hard. “I know that sounds like crap coming from me considering what I did to Laura, but I never, ever put my hands on her in anger after that night. I terrified myself that night, and I made a promise that I would never hurt her again. That doesn’t make it right, but it’s just—it’s a promise I kept.”
Elizabeth pressed her lips together. “Luke—”
“The boy you and I knew—the one who found you that night, who brought you home, and took care of you? That boy never would have done this to you. It kills me to know this happened. That my blood did this.” Luke’s voice rasped as he continued. “But you know that’s not who Lucky is. Not deep inside.”
“I think…” Elizabeth said, after a long moment, “that it’s not the Lucky I knew then. But—”
“He’s in there. I know my Cowboy is in there. You know it, too. You married him. You gave him another chance last year. I’m just—I’m begging you not to give up on him.”
“Luke—”
“If he loses you, if he loses his career and his family all at once—” Luke shook his head. “That’s it. That’s the last chance we’ll ever get. He’ll never recover from it. And maybe the man he is right now—he doesn’t deserve it. I don’t know. You were there. You’re the one that got hurt. But, God, Elizabeth, doesn’t that boy deserve another chance?”
Elizabeth sat back, her chest tight. “Luke, I don’t know if I can keep fighting for him. I don’t think I’ll survive it.”
“You won’t be alone this time. This time, I know. And Barbara—she’s mad as hell I’m asking you to even consider it—but I just—he and Lulu are all I got left of my angel. I have to ask the impossible. Because if anyone deserved it, it’s the kid that you fell in love with all those years ago. Lucky deserves it.”
“I—” Elizabeth bit her lip. “I don’t know if I can trust him again, Luke. If I can even—I don’t know if I even love him. After everything—I mean, you don’t know it all. And even if I could—what makes you think Lucky is going to—he thinks these terrible things. And no matter what you think—”
“I’ll talk to him. I’m not asking you to promise him forever. That’s not something anyone can promise. And I get it—you can damage love. Kill it with abuse and anger. I did it to Laura. I know I did. I know I’m most of the reason she’s locked up in herself.”
“If he puts his hands on me again,” Elizabeth said slowly. Her body shuddered. Oh, God, was she really going to try this? Hadn’t she been through enough? Didn’t she deserve a break?
But if she left Lucky tonight, if she left him while he was still in the hospital—that would be all anyone would think about. All they’d talk about. And the whispers and the snickers—she didn’t want it. She just wanted to get away from them all.
She could leave Port Charles. She could take her son and run. Steven might even let her stay with him in Memphis. Maybe Sarah out in California. Leaving Port Charles was the only way to leave Lucky right now.
Luke reached over to cover her hand. “Thank you for even thinking about it,” he told her. “You should tell me to go to hell. I almost want you to. Because I know I’m asking you to do something that no woman should.”
“It’s so easy…” She sucked in a breath, struggled to keep herself together. “It’s so easy to say — one hit, and I’m gone. You ask yourself why women stay. Weak women stay. Cycle of abuse. God, we’re all so fucking arrogant—” Elizabeth scrubbed her hands over her face. “But it’s not easy. It’s…you’re right. It’s that hope that he’s still in there. That we can save him.”
“Elizabeth—”
“And I want to save him, Luke. I want to be the one that brings back the best of the boy we loved. I loved Lucky. And we were so happy. I’ve never been as happy with anyone as I was those few months before the fire—” She swallowed hard. “I want to save him. Because he saved me. If there’s a chance, maybe I owe that to him—”
Luke hesitated. “I don’t know about owe—”
“I’ll stay. For now.” Elizabeth said, finally. And gently, in her mind, closed the door on whatever might have happened if Jason ever asked her that question. He would always be a wish. A fantasy that could never happen.
Lucky was her reality. Her right now. And Luke was right. If there was a chance that boy could ever be found again, Elizabeth had to try. He would do it for her.
“If he hits me again,” Elizabeth said slowly. “That’s it, Luke. I can’t—I can promise to try. But I can’t keep living like this. So I’ll try. But he has to try, too. He has to want to make this better.”
“I know. I know. We’ll make it happen.” Luke squeezed her hands. “We’re going to make it right. You and me. We’re going to fight for him. He’d do it for us.”
“Yeah,” Elizabeth said with a half-smile. “He would.” Once upon a time. But she was terrified that the boy they were trying to find had died in a fire a lifetime ago and would never come home again.
Morgan Penthouse: Living Room
When Jason walked through the door that afternoon, he saw Sam sitting quietly on the sofa, her eyes bloodshot, tearstains on her cheeks.
“Epiphany came to tell me you went to the hospital. What did you do?” he asked.
“Nothing I’m proud of,” she murmured. She got to her feet and held out her hand. “I’ve been waiting for you. I knew someone would tell you.”
Jason opened his palm and watched as her engagement ring dropped into his grasp. And felt relief. “I should have ended it weeks ago,’” he said after a long moment.
Stung, Sam met his eyes for the first time, and her nostrils flared. “Are you serious right now’? I asked you if you wanted me to leave—just last night—”
“And I should have said yes.” He took a deep breath. “Because if I had, you never would have gone to the hospital today.”
Her face flushed. “Excuse me? Are you—we’re breaking up—I am giving you back your engagement ring after everything you did to me—and all you can think about is her—” Sam laughed, a bitter, twisted sound. “Of course. Of course. Who cares that my life has fallen apart, too, right? I’ve not only lost my past—my entire identity—but now my future is gone. I’ve lost my home. But—hey—” She put her hands up. “My real crime here is asking your whore how many times you’ve slept together in our bed—”
Jason flinched, then scowled. “We never—”
“Slept together, I know. You keep telling yourself that makes any difference.”
She stalked past him toward the stairs, then whirled back to face him. “I can’t believe you have the nerve to act like I did something wrong. So you didn’t actually have sex. Big deal. You kissed her, didn’t you?”
Jason exhaled slowly. “Yes.”
Sam pressed her lips together. “And if she’d given you the slightest opportunity, you would have slept with her, right?”
He clenched his hands into fists at his side. “Sam—”
“Don’t lie to me. Because if you wanted to say no, you would have said yes. Have the guts to at least be honest with me for once. Would you have slept with Elizabeth if she gave you the chance?”
Jason sighed, looked down at his feet for a long moment before raising his gaze to hers. It was time to stop lying. “Yeah. Yeah, I would have. Sam—”
She held out a hand to stop him, and he closed his mouth. Sam took a moment, her lips trembling as she fought to get herself under control. When she looked at him, her eyes were burning. “Do you think I’m proud that I pushed her into losing it? Into making that scene at the hospital? God, Jason, I’m not cruel. I know she’s been through hell—”
“Then why?” Jason shook his head. “You already knew how I felt. Come at me, Sam. I deserve it—she doesn’t. You know that. Why did you do it?”
“I—” Sam sighed, some of the flush fading from her cheeks. “I don’t know. I think maybe I told myself I just wanted to see her. I know you don’t believe this, but I actually don’t hate Elizabeth. I even like her sometimes. What I hate is how you let her get between us—”
“That wasn’t her fault.”
“No. It wasn’t. And she made that very clear. She told you to stay away, and you didn’t. You kept showing up—” Sam curled her fingers into fists as her scowl deepened. “You couldn’t just admit the truth. I asked you if you wanted me to leave, but that was the wrong fucking question. I should have asked myself if I wanted to stay.”
“I screwed this up. I know that—”
“You’d think you’d know how to handle this with all your damn experience,” Sam shot back, the fury rising again. “I’m hardly the first woman you’ve cheated on.”
“I didn’t—”
“You don’t know what the hell you want. You keep Robin dangling on a string while Carly’s in the wings. You let Elizabeth drive herself crazy while you were out with Courtney—and God knows, you’ve made me look like a damn fool—” Sam stabbed a finger at him. “You’re never happy with what you have. You always want something else.”
“That’s not true—”
“Even if you begged me to stay, I wouldn’t. I stood in that the hospital, screaming at a woman I knew was on the brink of a nervous breakdown, and I just—I thought, why the hell am I taking this out on her? She and I weren’t friends. We’re not sisters. She didn’t owe me anything. You did. You owed me the truth. And if you couldn’t manage that, you owed me a little fucking respect.”
“I—” Jason swallowed hard. “I’m sorry. You’re right.”
“Well, it’s too late damn late for any of that.” Sam stared at him. “She’s not going to leave her husband for you. Not after all of this. Maybe before everything went to hell, before he lost his career—but she’s not brave enough to throw away her life for you. And I don’t blame her. Because you’re fickle, Jason. And even as much as I hate her right now, she deserves better.”
Jason stepped back, took a deep breath. “We’re done talking about this—”
“I hope you rot in hell and die alone, you son of a bitch.” With that, Sam turned and stalked up the stairs.
Shaken, Jason sat on the arm of the sofa and listened to the sounds of Sam packing—throwing things around—stomping—
And couldn’t find a single reason to argue with anything she’d said. He’d hurt every single woman he’d ever been with. Robin. Carly. Elizabeth. Courtney. Sam. Why would Elizabeth put herself through the crap she’d have to put up with to be with him after all he’d done to hurt her?
He’d never once been able to tell her how he’d felt. Had never once told her loved her. He’d told Carly when it wasn’t even really true. But not Elizabeth. He’d never once had the courage to say the words.
And now, she’d never give him the chance.
He deserved nothing less after the damage he had caused her by simply refusing to stay away when she’d asked.
A few minutes later, Sam came down the stairs, dragging the duffel she’d packed before she’d left for Florida. “Have someone pack the rest of my things,” she said. She jerked open the door and left.
She never looked back, and after ten minutes, he went downstairs to the garage to take out his bike.
He needed to be nowhere. Fast.
Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Living Room
Elizabeth sighed when she opened the door, expecting to see Milo Giambetti dropping off Cameron that evening. Instead of Max’s boyishly charming younger brother, she found Bobbie holding Cameron’s hand, a hopeful smile on her face.
She’d been looking forward to a quiet evening with her little boy, closing out the world and trying to figure out how to deal with the decision she’d made.
It had been a terrible day, beginning with the scene that morning with Lucky, the run-in with Sam, and the conversation with Luke. She’d gone from being positive her marriage was definitely over to agreeing to one last try. Or at least, she’d agreed not to leave for a little while.
And she was sure that Bobbie was here to talk about the situation. This was the last thing she wanted, but she knew Lucky’s aunt was someone she could trust.
“Hey, come on in. Did you have a good time at Thunder Island?” Elizabeth asked as she knelt down to hug Cameron, still not quite able to lift her son with her injured shoulder and strained wrist.
“Yeah. Best time ever. Carly is nice, Mommy. Is she my aunt?” Cameron asked as he kissed her cheek, then wandered towards the sofa, clutching a stuffed rabbit by the ear as it dragged on the floor. “I wonned this bunny.”
“Cool.” Elizabeth looked at Bobbie, confused. “Why does he want to know—”
“Because Carly is my daughter, and I’m his Aunt Bobbie. He asked Carly, too,” Bobbie said with a half-smile.
“Oh, man, I bet she loved that,” Elizabeth murmured, thinking of her nemesis. “What did she say?”
“She said it was up to you.” Bobbie went into the kitchen to get Cameron a juice while Elizabeth just watched the competent and experienced grandmother get Cameron settled in the living room with his toys, a snack, and the ever-present Spiderman movie DVD she’d given him for Christmas. “Let’s talk in the kitchen.”
“I’m glad Cam has a friend his age,” Elizabeth said slowly as they sat at the little table. She sipped a bottle of water. “But…Carly and I really don’t like each other. I don’t know how I feel about my kid getting attached to her that way—”
“Particularly after Lucky’s reaction to Cameron spending time with Sonny’s son,” Bobbie said. When Elizabeth didn’t answer, the older woman sighed. “I’ll admit I had hoped you’d be asking me to take you to Audrey’s or just…somewhere else. I didn’t expect you to still be here.”
“Luke came by.”
Bobbie closed her eyes, looked as though maybe she were counting to ten silently, before opening them again and meeting Elizabeth’s gaze. “And my brother convinced you to stay.”
“He asked me not to leave right now. To give Lucky some time to sort things out.” Elizabeth sighed. “I know you’re against it—”
“I’m not for or against anything, sweetheart.” Bobbie squeezed Elizabeth’s hand. “It’s not my job to do that. I’m just here to tell you that whatever you need, I’ll be here.”
Her breath caught. “Bobbie—”
“That being said, I just want to point out a few things to make sure you’ve thought this through. And if after I’m done speaking, you’re still committed to this…choice, I’ll stop arguing.”
“Okay.”
“I think we can stop pretending that all of the bruises and injuries are just from Manny Ruiz,” Bobbie told her. “My nephew has been physically and emotionally abusive. You’re an adult, so if you’re choosing to believe Luke and that there’s a chance Lucky can turn this around—I can’t stop you.”
“But?”
“But you have a child. A little boy who deserves to be your number one priority.” Bobbie raised her brows. “Are you planning to continue raising him in this home, with a man who has not treated you well?”
Elizabeth hadn’t quite let herself think about what would happen if she stayed—she really hadn’t gotten past the initial decision. She licked her lips. “I’ll be honest that up until now, the relationship I had hoped would develop between Cameron and Lucky hasn’t…really happened. Lucky’s…I mean, you know. You did us a favor by helping out. He wouldn’t.”
“That disappoints me,” Bobbie admits, “but, no, it doesn’t surprise me. Has he been…rough or angry with Cameron?”
“No—no, except maybe earlier this week when he was sick.” God, had that only been a few days ago? “Lucky brought him to the hospital, but I don’t think he was mean or rough about it. He was just…It was the wrong decision.” Elizabeth bit her lip. “But no. He mostly ignores Cameron.”
“I see.”
Her chest burned. “Oh, God, he ignores him. Like my parents did. Cameron’s going to know one day, isn’t he? How can I—” Elizabeth pressed her hands to her face. “How can I do this?”
“Which brings me to my second point, Elizabeth.” Bobbie gently pulled Elizabeth’s hands from her face. “Do you still love my nephew? Are you in love with him? Do you see a future with him? Because no matter what you and Luke think, we’re never going to have the boy he once was. Maybe we can give him some peace, maybe we can work on the anger. But Lucky is never coming home.”
“I—” Elizabeth cleared her throat. “Of course I’m in love with him. I married him—”
“Did you marry the man? Or did you marry the memory?” Bobbie tilted her head. “It’s just you and me here.”
Her throat felt tight, but Elizabeth finally forced the words out. “I don’t know. I think—I think part of me blames myself for all of this. Not-not the original injury. I mean, we were doing okay for a while. He was unhappy, but I wasn’t…I wasn’t miserable, Bobbie. If he’d never gotten hurt—”
“But he did.”
“Yeah, but…I don’t know what changed everything. I don’t know if his worry about never going back to work just…spilled over. And I know—I know this…Manny and Jason stuff—it is my fault. I never should have gotten involved. I should have kept myself out of it. I should have stayed away from Jason.”
“But you didn’t.”
“Bobbie—”
“You can spend the rest of your life wondering what if things had been different—what if you’d zigged instead of zagged. But you didn’t. Marriage isn’t supposed to be a penance. It isn’t supposed to be an obligation.”
Bobbie managed a sad smile. “Take it from someone who has tried it all. I married for love, I married for friendship, I married for revenge—and none of it quite worked for me. You deserve happiness, Elizabeth. Not the memory of it, but the actual feeling.”
“I’m…” She shook her head. “I know.”
“Do you?”
“I think I know,” Elizabeth admitted. “Bobbie—” She sighed. “Maybe I don’t love Lucky as he is today. And maybe I can’t ever love or trust him again. I know you’re right. I know that Luke is living in a fantasy. Whatever happens to Lucky going forward, this last month will always be part of our story. We’re not those teenagers making promises anymore. And maybe I don’t owe the man who’s hurt me anything.”
She waited a moment, trying to figure out how to articulate her choice, which felt more solid now that she’d thought through all the angles. “And I told Luke I’m not promising forever. I don’t think I can. I don’t think I can stay forever, Bobbie. But he’s right that if I leave now, when Lucky’s at rock bottom, I’ll always wonder if I could have done more. I’ll always wonder if I could have fixed it. Even if I just stay a month, even if I just…stay another day. I need to know.”
“Okay.” Bobbie nodded. “I can understand that.” She hesitated. “And what about Jason?”
“What about him?” Elizabeth dully. “There’s nothing—we never slept together—”
“You and I both know that love isn’t about sex. Are you in love with Jason?”
“I—” She pressed her lips together. “Probably. And he might even be in love with me. You’re right. We never slept together, but I don’t think—I think if Manny hadn’t happened or maybe there had been the opportunity—I don’t know.”
“Where does he fit into all of this? Does he know you’re going to stay with Lucky?”
“He doesn’t. He doesn’t know, and he doesn’t fit.” She sighed. “Which is something I should tell him. We should…clear the air, and I need to make him understand that whatever has been going on—whatever label we put on it—it can’t keep going.” She looked at Bobbie. “Am I making a terrible mistake?”
“It’s not my job to tell you that. I think you have far too many people who judge you, Elizabeth. All you can do is your best. And I think you are.” Bobbie leaned over, kissed her forehead. “Whatever you do, wherever you end up, you are my family. And that will never change.”
Elizabeth swiped at her eyes, sniffled, and then smiled. “Then if Carly doesn’t mind it, I want Cameron to feel like he’s part of your family. You’re his Aunt Bobbie. Carly and her boys can be whatever they want to be to him. He deserves all the love I can give him.”
“Then, Aunt Carly it is.”
Elizabeth laughed then, a small hysterical burst of sound that surprised her. But she kept laughing because it felt good, and then she went with Bobbie to go watch Spiderman with her son.
