Confusion that never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop that you now know
Singin’ come out upon my seas
Cursed missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease? Singin’
– Clocks, Coldplay

---

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

“Yeah, yeah, okay — I’ll be in. No, it’s fine—” Nadine folded one arm across her middle, her fingers tightening on the cordless phone at her ear. “Right. I’ll see you then.”

Johnny kicked off the sneakers he’d worn that morning. It was the fourth morning he’d joined Nadine in her morning jog. She’d been bewildered the first time, but he’d managed to convince her he was trying to fix his sleeping schedule. Which was partially true, he reflected.

She didn’t need to know that he was sticking to her like glue when she wasn’t at the hospital.

“I thought you were off for another day,” he said, tucking the sneakers on the shoe rack next to her door. He pulled off his sweatshirt, leaving him in a pair of blue mesh shorts and white t-shirt.

“It’s not a full shift. Elizabeth asked me to come in.” Nadine pressed the phone against her chest, just looked at him. “She didn’t want someone they didn’t know handling the transfer.”

Johnny’s fingers clutched the sweatshirt, tightening into fists. “They’re moving Sonny today?”

“Yeah, and they need a nurse to oversee the transfer. Elizabeth feels like she’s too close, I guess, and I’m sure she wants to be there for Jason.” Nadine set the phone back on the base.

“She asked you?” Johnny said. “You don’t think that’s strange?”

“No. Well—” Nadine bit her lip. “Maybe. We don’t know each super well, but we’ve been friendly enough. I mean, we’ve both been almost killed by the same people—”

“You really think that’s something to joke about?” Johnny muttered. He disappeared into the bedroom, irritated she wasn’t taking any of this seriously and with himself for picking a fight when Nadine hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Am I supposed to pretend your father didn’t try to kill me last year?” she asked, appearing in the doorway. “Or that he didn’t try to get Jason and Elizabeth to jump off the parapet? And Diego Alcazar, you know he came after us both—I’m just saying. I’m not surprised Elizabeth asked me, that’s all.”

“You’re not the least bit confused why she’s asking you? You’re married to me. I put Sonny in that bed—”

“Sonny put himself in that bed,” Nadine said softly, and Johnny grimaced, sat on the bed. “We’ve talked about this. He shot first, Johnny. What if the bullet had hit me? It could have. It could have hit you. What were you supposed to do?”

Johnny shook his head, looking away. She didn’t get it, and he didn’t want her to understand what it was like to carry this kind of weight. “I never wanted to be in my father’s world,” he found himself saying. “I ran as far as I could for as long as I could. I don’t know how Jason can do this. How he can go home to Elizabeth and those boys, knowing what he does.”

“That’s a question for them to answer, not us, Johnny. You’re not in your father’s world, right now, are you? You’re here. With me.” She folded her arms, leaning against the door frame. “Maybe Jason’s involved with all of this the same way you are. Choices he made when he was young. And now he can’t get out. But you can.”

“As long as my father is Anthony Zacchara, I’m always going to be in it.” Johnny looked at her. “That’s why Elizabeth is asking you. Jason’s making it clear he doesn’t hold me responsible. Everyone knows it was me. They can’t prove it, but they know.”

“He wants peace, Johnny. I talked to him, you know, the day you were arrested. I was—” She shook her head. “Freaking out, I guess, and I went to see him.”

Johnny looked at her, drew his brows together. “You never told me that.”

“I didn’t want you to know I was having doubts. But I didn’t after I talked to Jason. Because I saw why he was helping us. Jason could have gone after you or your father for what happened to Sonny. That’s what your dad would have done, isn’t it?”

That’s what his sister had done, Johnny thought darkly, but if he never said it out loud, it never had to be true. “Yeah. And Dad doesn’t play fair.”

“Exactly. Jason’s going out of his way to make sure your father can’t complain. Any violence that happens won’t start with him. Maybe I don’t like the world he lives in, but I can appreciate that he’s the only person trying to do the right thing. He knows it was self-defense, Johnny. So if the reason Elizabeth asked me to do this transfer is to send another signal to men like your father that you and I aren’t to blame for any of this—then I can live with that. Can you?”

Morgan Penthouse: Kitchen

Elizabeth still held the phone when she joined Jason in the kitchen that morning. “Hey. Cam get off to school all right?” she asked, sliding an arm around his waist and leaning up to kiss him. “You shouldn’t have turned off my alarm.”

Jason kept her close when she might have pulled her away, framing her jaw with one hand and kissing her again. “You had the night shift the last few days,” he murmured, his thumb brushing her bottom lip. “I was back before you even noticed I’d left.”

“Mmm, I definitely didn’t miss the overnights.” Elizabeth set the phone on the counter, accepted the hot chocolate he handed to her. “Epiphany says that I should start pulling rank, but I don’t know that I really have seniority yet. I mean technically, yeah, because we’ve had so much turnover in the last year.” She sat at the table. “But I still feel like the new kid. I talked to Nadine. She’s going to handle the transfer.”

Jason didn’t say anything for a moment, just poured the last of the coffee into his mug and switched off the pot. “Thank you. For arranging that.” He joined her at the table. “I just…there’s not that many people I trust to be on his case. With everything that’s happened at the hospital—”

“I know.” Elizabeth reached out, stroked his arm. “And I wanted to be with you. Even if it’s just to stand there.”

Jason’s smile was faint, devoid of warmth. “I don’t even know if I can stand there,” he admitted. “I never…I’ve never been to see him.”

She tipped her head. “Do you think that means you didn’t love him? I know what Sonny meant to you—”

“Meant,” Jason repeated. He leaned forward, his elbows on the table, his head bowed slightly. “The last year or so. Maybe longer,” he admitted, “I’ve…started to resent him. As much as I loved him,” he continued. He looked at her. “I used to respect him for letting me make my own choices. You know, I thought that was what made him different than the Quartermaines. Sonny knew I had the right to make my own choices, and they didn’t. But I didn’t…they were right. I didn’t understand what I was throwing away.”

Elizabeth bit her lip. “Jason—”

“He told me. I guess he did. He told me that once I was in, getting out would be almost impossible. But it wasn’t.” He looked at her. “I got out once. You remember, don’t you?”

“I do. You came to the boxcar to tell Lucky.”

“I would have stayed out, but Sonny came back. And he wanted that power again. I didn’t…things were falling apart with Michael. Robin was gone—” Jason just sighed. “And I said okay. Let’s go. Because I didn’t have anything else. I didn’t understand, even after having Michael, that I was making this choice forever. Sonny—he didn’t have to come back here. There was nothing but bad memories. But he came back to Port Charles, and he asked me to help him get back what I’d given away. I felt guilty.”

“That was a long time ago, Jason—”

“I don’t want Jake or Cameron to grow up thinking that this is a good life,” Jason said tightly, and her hand fell away. “Michael was starting to think that, you know? I could see it—he took Sonny’s gun, and he shot Kate. You keep apologizing for keeping Jake away from me, but you don’t understand that I had to agree. And I did. Because I never want my sons to grow up to think I’m a good man. That this life is something they should want.” He looked at her then, tears in his eyes. “Promise me. That we won’t do what Sonny and Carly did. To let them think that anything about this life is worth having.”

“I promise,” Elizabeth said softly. “Jason—”

“I don’t know if I could go see him. I don’t know if I can sit in a room with him and not be angry at everything he’s done. I don’t know if I can be sorry he’s gone. He wouldn’t have stayed out, you know that, don’t you? He would have tried to take the business back, to force me out—and I would have told him no this time. I would have refused. So maybe I shouldn’t go today.”

She was quiet for a long moment. She’d wanted him to open up about Sonny for weeks, but she’d stopped pushing, hoping he’d be able to when the time was right. She’d had no idea that Jason was wrestling with these kinds of regrets and resentment.

“You asked me a few months ago what about what you do makes me love you.” He lifted his eyes to hers, frowned. “When we were arguing at the coffeehouse, and I hid while you threatened one of those Russian guys. Do you remember that? You were angry with me because I wasn’t taking no for an answer this time.”

“I—yeah. I remember.”

“I knew the second you asked that question that you’d been wanting to ask that all along. Every time we had this argument, I could see you asking yourself why I’d put up with any of this. And believe me, Jason, I’ve asked myself that question so many times. I had my chances to walk away. Bombs in my studio, men stopping me on the docks to ask questions about you or Sonny, lying to cops, being shot at, kidnapped three times — All of that, and I’m still here. The world you live in isn’t a good one, and it’s not one I’d want for the boys. And yes, I know you’re capable of violence. I’ve known that since that first night in Jake’s. I’ve known that since you put Sorel on his knees and kept him there with just one hand because he spoke to me—”

She saw him wince at that memory. “I didn’t plan to fall in love with you, Jason. It just happened. And Sonny? I don’t think he planned to trap you in this life. You said he tried to talk you out of it. But you wanted to make your own choices. Your own mistakes. You’ve made them. Sonny wasn’t always a good man, but he was your friend. He was your family. And it’s okay to be angry with him for all the things he did wrong. But it’s okay to love him, too. It’s okay for me to love you.”

“Why? Because you say so?” But the question was almost wry, the corner of his mouth lifting.

“Sonny was a complicated man who could be extraordinarily kind and compassionate. Selfish and cruel. He believed in you, Jason, when a lot of people didn’t. You told me once that everything you’d learned—everything that made you who you were came from Robin and Sonny. Do you have to throw away all the good he gave you because of the bad?”

“No,” Jason said slowly. “No, I guess not. But—”

“We’ll go to the hospital today, and we’ll say goodbye to that man. The man who held me on what I thought was the worst day of my life. The man that I held on the worst day of his—the day he and Carly lost that first baby. The man who offered you money for a ride home and didn’t believe you were as damaged as the rest of the world said. I’ll miss that man. Won’t you?”

Jacks Home: Foyer

“I really wish you’d change your mind about the hospital.” Bobbie slid her hair from beneath the collar of her jacket and turned back to Carly. “I’d be so much more help with you today—”

“It’ll be enough to think of you in Manhattan, visiting with Michael.” Carly glanced through her purse, making sure to have transferred things from her smaller bag. “Jason will be there today, and that’s all I need.”

“You finally got him to agree to come? I wasn’t sure he would.”

“Neither was I.” Carly removed her coat from the hanger, closed the closet door. “He and I don’t talk about Sonny much. Just that one conversation to talk about Silver Water. Otherwise…it’s a nonstarter. He’s holding it inside, just like he always does.”

“Maybe. It’s hard, I think, for the both of you,” Bobbie said. She rubbed her daughter’s arm. “I know it makes sense to lean on each other during a time like this, but it’s also perfectly ordinary that Jason might be leaning more on Elizabeth. Just as you’ve leaned on me.”

Irritation rippled through Carly. “I don’t know why. I’m the one who knew Sonny, not her. I don’t understand what she’s got that I don’t—”

“Carly.”

She fought the urge to hunch her shoulders and look away at the look of disappointment in her mother’s eyes. “What?”

“All things considered, with all the loss he’s suffered, Jason is happier now than I’ve seen him in years. Tell me you can see that, Carly. No matter how much you dislike Elizabeth, you can’t deny—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. She’s making him so happy I could puke,” Carly muttered. She buttoned her coat. “Just because he deserves to be happy, that doesn’t mean I have to be thrilled he chose another mealy mouthed girl with a hero complex—”

Bobbie grimaced. “Maybe I should go to the hospital after all. I’m sure you’ll run into Elizabeth, and the mood you’re in, you won’t be able to help yourself.”

“No. No. I can do this. I’ve been good for the last month. Since Jason threw me out of the hospital room. I can play nice to her face.” Carly tossed back her hair. “But that’s why I have you to vent to in private. You’re my mother, it’s your job to love me no matter how insufferable I’m being.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“Ha,” Carly muttered darkly. She yanked open the door. “I’ll see you when we get to Manhattan.” She paused at the threshold, took a long, shaky breath. “I don’t want to do this.

“I know.” Bobbie hugged her daughter firmly. “We’ll be okay, baby. We just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.”

Crimson: Kate’s Office

Kate hesitated at the threshold of her office, a file in one hand and her purse in the other. Her lips pressed together in an unhappy line as she turned deliberately away from Jax waiting in the receptionist area. “You’ve rescheduled all my necessary appointments for the next few hours?”

Maxie sprang up from her desk. “Yes. Mina is going to take the conference call with New York. Everything is all set. Um—” She slid a side glance at the man waiting. “I guess I don’t have to tell you that you have a visitor.”

“No, you don’t. That’ll be all, Maxie. You can take your lunch.”

“All right.” Maxie gathered her things and hurried out of the room.

Kate set her purse and the file on Maxie’s recently vacated desk. “I thought I had made myself entirely clear, Jax. There’s no need for you to come by looking for forgiveness—”

“That’s not what I wanted.” Jax came forward, tugging at his tie. “Carly won’t speak to me. Not even to talk about divorce. I’m just trying to find a way to make this right.”

Kate tipped her head, arched a slim brow. “I’m surprised you still think that’s possible at this point. Especially today. Did you know Carly was able to arrange for Sonny to be down the hall from Michael? Won’t that make the visitation easier?”

Jax closed his eyes, pain flickering across his face, and Kate felt just the hint of regret at the nasty jab. “I deserve that.”

“Yes, you do. I suppose I can understand how the petty side of your nature won during those few days. The power to deny Sonny something he wanted after all he’d done to you. I understand why you did it, Jax. That’s never been the problem.”

“Kate—”

“It wasn’t enough for you to block him from my room just a few times. You not only refused him to stay by my side, you refused to even let Maxie keep him updated.”

Jax looked away, and she nodded. “That’s right. You and Sonny were so alike. Using someone else as the weapon. Brenda, Carly. Michael. Me. And even Maxie. You’ve won, Jax. He’s finally gone. Everyone you know and love is finally safe from Sonny’s dangerous life. I hope that brings you some solace as you face the end of your marriage and the end of our friendship. There’s nothing you can do to make it right, Jax. Sonny is gone. The life I would have had died that day on the pier.”

“If it hadn’t been that day, it would have been another,” Jax bit out. “You and Carly act as if I’m the one that pulled trigger.”

“No, you weren’t. But you sure didn’t mind loading the gun.” Kate lifted her purse. “I have somewhere to be. Don’t be here when I return.”

General Hospital: Waiting Room

The elevator doors slid open, and Jason hesitantly stepped out, Elizabeth trailing behind him, her hand firmly tucked in his, stopping short when he saw Kate sitting in the waiting room, thumbing through a magazine.

Carly was pacing a few feet away, nibbling at the nail on her thumb. She looked over, saw them, and her expression eased. “You—you came.”

“I told you I would.” Jason looked at Kate — the first time he’d seen her since that terrible day in the church. He remembered now, watching her walk down the aisle in her wedding white, the crimson stain of blood spreading across her dress.  “I didn’t—”

“Carly asked if I wanted to be here.” Kate set the magazine aside, rose to her feet. “I—I’m so sorry, Jason. For all of this.”

“Patrick said we could…I don’t know, I thought maybe we could—if you wanted time with him.” Carly looked at Kate. “To say—whatever you want to say.”

Jason cleared his throat, looking back at Elizabeth. “I don’t—”

“I’ll go first,” Kate volunteered. “I—I want to get this over—” She grimaced, closed her eyes. “That’s not what I meant—”

“It’s okay,” Jason interrupted. “We know what you mean.”

Kate smiled gratefully, then twisted the diamond ring on her finger. Her engagement ring. “I…I suppose I should get to it then. We’re on a schedule.”

She disappeared down the hall, and Carly finally sat down, perching on the edge of the chair, tapping her fingers against her thighs. “Thank you. For looking after Morgan tonight.”

“It’s the least we could do after all the help you gave us when I was hurt,” Elizabeth spoke up, and Carly looked at her, smiled thinly. “And Cam’s looking forward to it.”

“Good. Good. I just—” She closed her eyes. “I hate this. All of it.” She dragged her hands through her hair. “Barely a year since we did this. How do I have to do it again? How is this fair?”

“It’s not.” Elizabeth released Jason’s hand and went to sit next to Carly. “It’s cruel, and it shouldn’t be happening. I’m sorry, Carly.”

“Don’t be nice to me. It’s confusing,” Carly muttered. She folded her arms, looked down the hall where Kate had disappeared. “How can this be real?”

He wanted to run, to head for the emergency stairwell and flee the hospital, but if Carly could handle it, Jason was going to have to figure it out.

But like Kate, he just wanted all of this over with so he could go home and see his family, to remember the pieces of good he had in life, even if he didn’t deserve it.

Elm Street Pier

Any time now, Sonny would be wheeled out of the hospital into a transport van destined for the long-term hospital where he’d be put in a room and largely forgotten.

But would Johnny ever be able to forget the out-of-control mobster who’d blamed Johnny for all that had gone wrong in his life?

They’d washed away the blood from that day, Johnny thought, staring down at the weathered wood of the pier. It was like it had never happened. But every inch of Johnny’s life had been irrevocably changed by it.

“Reminiscing?”

Johnny jerked his head up, saw a man sauntering towards him, a smile etched smugly across his patrician features. “Who are you?”

“Who I am is of no matter. It’s what I know—what I can do that you ought to concern yourself with,” the man said, his words clipped and short in a posh British accent. “Your lovely wife has a reputation for championing children. A pediatric nurse, isn’t she?”

Johnny fisted his hands at his side. “Stay away from her—”

“I suppose she thinks she’s protecting a poor hapless victim by not telling everyone what happened here that day.” The man tipped his head. “But would she keep protecting a child killer?”

Blood roared in Johnny’s ears, the world falling away. This was the man who had threatened his sister. Who was threatening his wife. “I didn’t—I wouldn’t—”

“Ah, but you’re the one protecting the child killer. Not that little Michael Corinthos is actually dead, though I hardly think that matters to his mother and family. You don’t think the lovely nurse Nadine would be a bit conflicted protecting you, knowing the secret you’re keeping? How long would you stay out of jail then? And what would happen to your sister if the world knew?”

Johnny shook his head, started past him towards the stairs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“Ah, I see you don’t take me seriously. Perhaps a demonstration of my power is in order—”

“You can’t touch me, and you can’t touch my wife. It would be suicide—”

The man smiled. “I’ve always liked living on the edge. Your sister asked you for a favor. I think you ought to grant it.”

“Don’t—”

“Then again, you could keep refusing. After all, someone would have to be crazy to go after Johnny Zacchara or his wife. That, of course, leaves the rest of the world wide open. Would you like to take the risk, or will you do my bidding?”

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very mad world, mad world
– Mad World, Gary Jules & Michael Andrews

---

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Coffee House: Jason’s Office

“Isn’t this a cozy scene?” Lucky growled, sweeping his eyes around the room, taking in the remnants of Jake everywhere, then focusing again on the sofa.

“Sorry, boss, we didn’t know if we should stop him,” Francis said, glaring at the younger man malevolently.

Jason’s arms tightened around his son reflexively, his adrenaline spiking for a minute before remembering that it was different now. That everyone knew who Jake was to him— and that Lucky couldn’t take him anywhere.

“What do you want?” Jason asked, closing the book, and rising to his feet, bringing Jake with him.

“I wanted to see my son,” Lucky said flatly, striding forward, but Jake, after five weeks of zero contact and a year of sporadic visits, didn’t recognize Lucky right away. He curled into Jason’s chest, throwing his arms around his father’s neck. “Jake, it’s me, it’s Daddy.”

“You need to go,” Jason said, careful to keep his tone even, calm. “You don’t have any business here.”

“The hell I don’t. You and Elizabeth think you can erase me from Jake’s life, you’ve got another thing coming—”

Jake. Not Cameron. Even now, even with the truth fully out that neither boy was his biological son, Lucky only thought about Jake. What kind of man could do that, Jason wondered, the anger rising. But he forced himself to remain calm.

“Jake, tell the man you want to see your daddy,” Lucky said again. “Jake—”

Jake turned to look at him, then looked at Jason, then at Lucky, then put his head in Jason’s chest again, his body trembling. Jason stroked his back.

“You’ve poisoned him against me, you and Elizabeth acting like I don’t exist—”

“You’re not a member of the PCPD anymore, Lucky,” Jason interrupted. “I can and will have you forcibly removed if you don’t leave on your own.”

“I’m not going anywhere without seeing my son. I’m his father,” Lucky repeated. “Jake, Jake, you know me. Come on, buddy.” His voice softened. “Remember when I took you to Thunder Island this summer? You, me, and Cam? We rode the GoKarts, and you dropped your ice cream.”

Jake’s trembling subsided, and he peeked his head out, looking at Lucky. “Chocolate. I like chocolate.”

“I know. We had to get you another one. And the second time, you got a Waffle cone, remember?”

“You go away,” Jake said. He shifted, more comfortable now, the memory anchoring him. Jason kept his expression clear, not wanting to give Lucky any hint of what this was costing him. “Why you leave?”

Coffee House: Parking Lot

Elizabeth closed the car door, rolling her neck and shoulders as she approached the double front doors. It had been a long first shift back, and Epiphany had refused to let her work the full ten hours, sending her home after six. She wanted to pull her weight, she’d told her supervisor, but she knew Epiphany was right. Elizabeth was barely up to the six hours she’d put in today, much less adding on four more.

And she still had three more days in this rotation. How had she managed to do this and still maintain a life?

Elizabeth hesitated for a moment, her finger resting on the silver door handle, her heart skipping a beat when she recognized the blurry figures behind the tempered glass of the door. Then heat crawled up her neck, and she jerked the door open.

Nikolas, sitting at a table with Sam, jumped to his feet when he saw Elizabeth there. “Elizabeth—”

Sam slowly rose, a smirk playing on her lips. “Well, isn’t this fun—”

“One more word, and Mac gets Amelia Joffee’s contact number,” Elizabeth said flatly. Sam’s smile slipped slightly. “She’s on standby, you know. Just waiting for us to pull the trigger. And when we do, Sam, because clearly it’s a when, she’ll be just the first domino to fall.” She stepped towards Jason’s ex-fiancée. “Because Angela Monroe is one of many, isn’t she?”

“Who’s Angela Monroe?” Nikolas asked, looking at Sam, then at Elizabeth again. “What’s going on?”

Sam glared at Elizabeth, the hatred burning in her dark eyes, then finally looked at her cousin. “Nothing. I think I should wait in the car.”

“That’s what I thought.” Elizabeth waited until Sam had left the coffee shop before looking at her former brother-in-law. “He’s back there, isn’t he?”

“Elizabeth—”

“Shut up and get out of my way.”

Coffee House: Jason’s Office

How much it hurt to see Jake remembering Lucky with any fondness, remembering him at all.

“Aunt Lu was sick. You remember Aunt Lu. She was with us that day, remember? She took you to clean up so Mommy wouldn’t get mad we messed up your shirt.” Lucky took another step towards them. “Aunt Lu is sick, and so I had to go help her.”

Jake’s lips trembled, and Jason wished he knew what to do. He wouldn’t give Jake to Lucky willingly, terrified Lucky might try to leave with him, and they’d have to stop him. But what if Jake wanted to go?

“I’ve missed you,” Lucky continued, sensing he was winning, that Jake was thawing towards him — and that Jason wasn’t going to have him thrown out now that the toddler remembered him. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“So much you didn’t call?”

Lucky spun around and Elizabeth stepped between Francis and the other guard, her cheeks flushed, her eyes brimming with fury. Just behind her, Nikolas stood, his shoulders hunched.

“Go ahead, Lucky,” Elizabeth said, crossing the threshold, putting herself between Jason and Lucky. “Tell Jake how long you’re staying.”

Lucky pressed his lips together, looked away.

“Jason, take Jake out front,” Elizabeth said, not taking her eyes off her ex-husband. “Let him choose some doughnuts to share with Cam when we get home.”

Jason hesitated, not wanting to leave her alone. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I guess we didn’t finish things last night. But we’re going to do it now.” Elizabeth caught Nikolas by the sleeve when her former brother-in-law tried to follow Jason and the guards out of the room. “No, don’t you dare— You brought him here, so you’re going to listen to what I have to say.”

“I have every right to see my son,” Lucky retorted. “You can’t keep me from him—”

“Yes, I can, and now? I’m going to enjoy it.” Elizabeth folded her arms. “We signed an agreement to keep custody out of court. You’d have generous visitation, as much as you wanted, and I’d make sure the boys were available to you within reason. I didn’t want child support, but you insisted.”

“That’s right, because I’m a good father—”

“You’re a little late, by the way, on that child support.” She looked at Nikolas who dipped his head. “Did he mention that? In addition to dumping the boys with my grandmother early in the morning while I was still unconscious after a terrible car accident, Lucky quit his job, moved across the country, didn’t leave a forwarding address or phone number, and hasn’t contacted me. Not to talk to the boys and certainly not to pay child support.” She returned her gaze to Lucky. “I wonder what a judge will think about that—”

“I wonder what a judge will think about you taking my sons and shacking up with a gangster five seconds after I left. Do they both call him Daddy now?” Lucky bit out.

“Did you go to Cam’s school first and try this?” Elizabeth asked. Lucky said nothing. “No, you didn’t. You didn’t go to the son who absolutely would have remembered you. Would have been ecstatic to see you. He’s asked for you every day — including yesterday by the way. And you’re still his emergency contact. I didn’t think to change it. So if you’d gone to get him, Lucky, I’d have no leg to stand on.”

“I didn’t—”

“We weren’t going to take Jake anywhere,” Nikolas said, throwing his brother a silencing glare. “Lucky just wanted to see him. We’re on the way to the airport—”

“Leaving without saying goodbye to Cameron again? Why doesn’t that surprise me? How did you know Jake was even here today?”

“I’m not—”

“Sam overheard Diane and her mother talking about it,” Nikolas volunteered, and Lucky glared at him.

“Of course she did. Well, I’ve already dealt with her,” Elizabeth said, then focused on Lucky again. “What did you think you were doing coming here?”

“He brought his son to a place where he meets with criminals—”

“Spare me your self-righteous crap. We both know why you’re here. You’re on your way out of town, so you’d thought you would stick it to Jason one more time. Make sure he knows that Jake sees you as his father.” Elizabeth demanded. “Because if you really cared, if you really wanted to see your sons, you’d have asked to see Cam. I might have said yes. Might have,” she repeated scathingly. “Because he’s the one who watched you leave. He’s the one who still asks for you.”

“I told you this wasn’t a good idea,” Nikolas told Lucky, turning away from Elizabeth, pitching his voice low. “Let’s just get out of here.” He looked at Elizabeth. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be. I hope you’re happy, Lucky, I hope this was worth it. Because it goes on the list of terrible choices you’ve made as a father. Come near Jake or Cam again, and I promise you that you’ll regret it. I will take you to court, and I will humiliate you–”

“Won’t be the first time, will it?” he demanded. “You told the whole world you screwed that criminal, and no one believed Jake was mine after that!”

“Yeah, well, this time I won’t feel bad about doing it! I will drag you into that courtroom and I will make sure every single terrible thing you’ve done will be put on record. The drugs, the affairs, the dangerous criminal you put my boys around waiting for you in the car. So get out of this office, Lucky, and get out of my life. This is your last warning.”

Lucky glared at her for another beat, then stormed past her out the door.

“Elizabeth—”

Elizabeth looked at her old friend, at her former brother-in-law, her eyes burning. “Shame on you for coming here with him, for putting my son through this. Forcing Jake to remember him just for a few minutes, so Lucky could make sure to twist the knife. One more jab at Jason for the road. Is that what you think a good father does?”

“Elizabeth—”

“You left and I understood it. I did. What Lulu’s facing is awful, and I’m sorry for it. I understood that she needed more treatment. I’m not angry at you or at Lucky for doing what was necessary for her. But you didn’t have to do it the way you did. Leaving without a word to me. I was awake when you left,” she reminded him, and he nodded, avoiding her gaze. “And you still said nothing to me. You and your brother are selfish right down to the bone, and this will be the last time I ever speak to either of you.”

“Liz, please, I just didn’t handle it well—”

“You make sure that Lucky knows if he comes near my children one more time, I will make him regret the day he was born. Get out of my life and take your worthless brother with you.”

Nikolas looked as if he wanted to argue but then nodded and left. Elizabeth followed him to the front of the coffee house, which was, as normal, mostly empty. Jason had Jake behind the counter, their backs to the door and to the hall, and she hoped that meant Jake hadn’t seen Lucky leave.

Nikolas made his way out of the double doors, and Elizabeth went to her son and to Jason.

“Hey, there’s my guys,” she said, lifting Jake into her arms, cuddling him. “Did you have fun with Daddy today?”

Jake furrowed his brows at her, looking so much like his father she wanted to weep. Then at his father, as if unsure which man she was talking about.

Jason stroked Jake’s back. “Do you want to show Mommy the pictures you made her?”

“I color,” Jake said, grinning and returning his gaze to his mother. “Daddy read me Chuggin’ Charlie, and I eat.” He held up his hand, the remains of a powered pastry on his fingers. “See? We gots more for Cam. And chocolate for you.”

“Chocolate, huh? That’s my favorite.” Elizabeth looked at Jason over their son’s head, hoping he could read the apology in her eyes. “Sounds like you guys had a great day.”

“It was,” Jason said. He leaned down, brushed his lips against her forehead, lingering. “Better now that you’re here. Why don’t we get Cam and go home?”

“I can’t think of anything I want more.”

Zacchara Estate: Study

Claudia sauntered into her father’s study, headed straight for the mini bar. Wine wasn’t good enough tonight, she thought, reaching for the decanter of vodka. “You bellowed, Daddy?”

“Took your sweet time in answering,” Anthony growled, rolling his chair from behind the desk towards the center of the room. “Your brother still hasn’t called or visited. You were supposed to fix that.”

She sipped the drink, looked at him. “I talked to him, but I’m not a miracle worker.” She’d done what she could to make Johnny see how few options they both had. Short of making the nurse disappear herself, Claudia was limited in what she could do.

Demanding Johnny turn on Jason without a good reason was a nonstarter, and she’d known that from the beginning. Johnny was too soft-hearted to do what was necessary for his own survival. He’d remember that Jason had protected him even to his own detriment, and well, maybe he wasn’t in love with the nurse yet, but Claudia knew he wasn’t far off.

No, demanding that Johnny get closer to Jason in order to ultimately turn on him — that was never going to happen to save himself. Or even his sister.

But he might be persuaded to do it if he thought Nadine was in trouble.

“Listen, Jezebel—”

“He’s wrapped up in the nurse, okay? He’s totally gaga for her, okay?” Claudia jerked a shoulder. “You’d be sick with how happy he looks.” She tossed back the rest of the vodka, poured another tumbler full. “Isn’t that what all the reports say?”

“Yeah.” Anthony studied her for a long moment. “You think he forgot Looloo so easy?”

Claudia considered the question for a long moment, staring at the clear liquid in the glass. “No,” she said finally. “I think Johnny liked that Lulu lived a little close to the edge, that he fancied them star-crossed with you trying to kill her and that boy she ended up killing — but this nurse — she’s different. You saw her in court, right? And here. She’s a do-gooder. A pure heart.”

Anthony folded his hands in his lap, looking away. “His mother was like that.”

“Yeah, not that Johnny really remembers that, thanks to you.” Anthony shot her a dirty look but didn’t dispute the jab, not that he could. “Right now, the nurse thinks Johnny’s worth her time. And he’s gonna try to live up to the man she already thinks he is. I guess we’ll see which one of them wins.”

Anthony grunted, gripped the wheels again. “Yeah, well, I’m not gonna sit around much longer. You tell him he better make time for me.”

“I’ll give him a call,” Claudia said, then watched Anthony roll out of the room, her stomach rolling. Once again, her actions were making Johnny the target of a lunatic’s actions, but this time she was dragging that stupid girl along for the ride. Her brother would never forgive her if this went wrong.

It was time to remind Johnny just what was at stake. She headed for the phone on the desk, picked it up and dialed.

Nadine’s Apartment: Kitchen

Johnny saw his sister’s name on his cell phone notification screen but slid the phone back into his pocket unanswered. He lifted the glasses of wine he’d poured and headed for the sofa where Nadine was already curled up, waiting for him.

He handed her a glass, then sat next to her, kicking off his shoes. “I’m glad you and Nikolas left things on a better note.”

“Me, too. And it made me think that maybe I should start visiting Jolene again.” She sipped the wine. “At least once or twice a month. I stopped because I hated seeing her like that, but you know, there are all those studies that say people in comas can hear you. Maybe they get lonely.”

“You are a much better person than I am,” Johnny told her, reaching for the remote for the DVD player. He pressed play and waited for her reaction to the movie he’d chosen from the store that afternoon.

Nadine laughed when the title came across the screen. “Made of Honor? You rented a romantic comedy?”

“Yeah, well, I figured we’d start with something you like. I got Al Pacino for tomorrow,” he told her.

“Only fair.” Nadine snuggled in, and they leaned back to watch the movie — Johnny ignoring every vibration of his phone.

Claudia had gotten herself into trouble, and she was going to have to get herself out of it. He’d stick close to Nadine and make sure she was safe, but his sister would have to fend for herself.

Warehouse

Jerry sidestepped a stack of pallets that had fallen at some point and now lay scattered towards the loading dock at the back of the building. A rat scurried past him, disappearing into the dark shadows. He wrinkled his nose, looked at the man waiting for him. “Was there really nowhere else we could have met?” he asked.

The man turned to face him. “I find that no one truly expects the villain to take up residence in an abandoned warehouse. It is, how do you say, too cliche?” Andrei Karpov quirked a brow.

“Ah, still pretending to have a poor command of the English language. Does that work for you?” Jerry wanted to know.

“It does, yes. The only accent anyone respects is the British one,” Karpov muttered, and Jerry just smiled. “Do we banter more, or do we get to business?”

“I could banter all afternoon, my friend, but all right. Let’s get down to it.” Jerry folded his arms. “I’ve made contact with Claudia Zacchara. I’m confident she’ll carry out my command, she has few options. But we can’t have any more screw ups from your end. I warned you Sonny Corinthos was too unpredictable.”

“I had no choice. The other one will not see reason. I had thought I could make Corinthos angry enough to join me. To demand my resources. It would have been a pleasure to watch him, Jason Morgan fight each other while I took advantage of their distraction.”

“It would have been, but I also seem to remember reminding you that Jason Morgan has a troublesome ability to compartmentalize. He managed to balance the loss of his best friend and the near death of his paramour, organize an FBI raid on your cargo ship and still find time to take a child to preschool.” Jerry lifted his brow. “It’s a shame we can’t find a way to bring him to our side. We’d take over the world in a matter of weeks.”

Karpov’s face creased with fury. “He had his chance to join us. Now I grind him beneath my shoe—”

“Yes, of course, but will you take my advice this time? You sought me out because I knew the players,” Jerry reminded him. “What point is there in collaboration if you refuse to listen?”

The other man was clearly unhappy with Jerry’s conclusion but admirably fought it back. “You tell me Claudia Zacchara can get me what I want, but you don’t tell me how. Explain and maybe I will agree you know best.”

“It’s simple. Jason Morgan can’t be dealt with in the usual ways. We could go after his family. Relieve him of the nurse or one of those kids. It’s a tried-and-true method that clearly broke Sonny Corinthos. But Morgan? I think we’d only make him more angry. He’d murder you in your sleep, Andrei, and grieve his loss when you were dead. Look at Manny Ruiz. Spent months targeting the lovely Samantha and was shoved off a roof for his troubles.”

“Yes, yes, you tell me this, and you still—”

“You need to destroy Jason from the inside. Take him apart when he least expects it. Johnny Zacchara has already proved to be a nick in Morgan’s armor. He let the boy live after shooting Sonny. And helped him escape all blame by facilitating the wedding to the witness. Johnny will protect his sister. And we hold a very terrible truth over Claudia’s head. She’ll try to scurry around, think of how to get out of our hold for a day or two. But she’ll ultimately realize the only way to save her skin—and her baby brother’s—is to do business with us.”

“This still doesn’t get me Morgan or the territory. I want those shipping lanes—”

“You Russians have no appreciation for flair or dramatics. Honestly. If you were half as interesting as the Sicilians and Italians, you’d see movies made romanticizing you.” Jerry paused. “May I continue?”

“Get to the point. Quickly.”

“We will make sure Johnny knows we can get to him at any point. Not just him, but his wife. He’s protective of the girl. And she’s walking around without any security. I can think of a dozen ways to use her as a message. Johnny will have no choice but to work with us. He’ll either have to do our bidding or come clean to Jason Morgan about his sister’s role in Michael’s shooting. And his knowledge of it. It’s perfect, really. Johnny Zacchara is already on record hating his father, wanting to escape. We’ll push him right into Morgan’s arms.”

“You put a lot of weight on this boy choosing us. How can you be sure he won’t flee and abandon the girl and his sister?”

“That’s an excellent question.” Jerry smiled. “He can’t resist a damsel in distress. Fortunate for us, isn’t it?”

Out of the darkness and into the sun (into the sun)
But I won’t forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And break away, break away, break away
– Breakaway, Kelly Clarkson

---

Thursday, November 6, 2008

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

 Nadine flipped through paperwork, searching for a patient’s discharge summary. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Matt Hunter standing in front of Robin’s hospital room, his hand hovering over the handle.

He pulled it back, walked a few steps away, then doubled back. Nearly reached for the door again, then dropped his hand. She lifted her head to get a better look, then winced when Matt caught her staring and immediately headed in the opposite direction.

What would it be like, Nadine wondered, to end up working alongside the half-brother your father chose over you? To be confronted every day with the family that you’d been denied because of his selfishness? She and Matt had definitely gotten off on the wrong foot when she’d suspected him of some nefarious intentions at the clinic, but she knew what it was like to be rejected by her father and to be at odds with her only sibling.

Her father had barely stuck around long enough to be named on the birth certificate, and as for Jolene—

Nadine lifted her eyes to the ceiling, where several floors above her, Jolene lay in a coma, unresponsive and unlikely to wake up.

The ding of the elevator doors brought her gaze back down, and a scowl spread across her face when she saw Nikolas step out. She lifted her paperwork and headed for the back exit of the nurse’s station, uninterested in another round of what a horrible human she was.

“Nadine—Nadine—just—” She heard Nikolas’s steps quicken, and he caught her just before she reached the staff room.

“Don’t touch—” She whirled around, slapped at the hand holding her elbow. “Don’t touch me.”

He immediately backed up, hands held up in surrender. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just—I wanted to talk to you.”

“I’ve had enough talking from you, thanks. I don’t need you to tell me what a garbage person I am.”

“I wasn’t—” Nikolas swallowed hard. “I deserve that reaction, especially with what I said—”

“Exactly—” She turned away, reaching for the door handle.

“But I’d appreciate if you’d let me apologize.”

Nadine sighed, muttered under her breath. She was such a soft touch — and had such a desperate need to please, to be liked. “You have one minute—” she said, facing him again, clutching her charts more tightly. “Make it good.”

“I’m sorry,” Nikolas said. “I got a brutal reminder that life goes on, even when everything else seems to stop, and I didn’t—I didn’t really appreciate it. It’s just—it’s not an excuse, but for the last month, I’ve been visiting Lulu every day and it’s—” He looked away, exhaled in a rush. “It’s not easy looking in her eyes and seeing nothing, you know? Everything that made her who she is, that made her special and alive, it’s just gone. She’s like a doll. You can lift her hand and lead her around, but there’s nothing inside.”

Nadine bit her lip, her heart softening despite her best intentions. “I stopped visiting Jolene because it was hard to see her that way. I can’t imagine what it’s like to see it in Lulu. I truly am sorry, Nikolas—”

“No, I know—I know.” He cleared his throat. “You looked after her when she was here. And I was grateful for it. So when Alexis told us you’d married Johnny a few days later, I just—I let myself forget who you are. I just assumed you’d done it to impress him. And Maxie didn’t exactly reassure me.”

“Maxie doesn’t have a reassuring bone in her body. She’s been angry at us since the beginning.” Nadine shifted the files again. “Nikolas—”

“You don’t have to explain what you’re doing with Johnny. You don’t—”

“I’m not sure I can,” Nadine confessed, and he looked at her, his brows pulled together quizzically. “It started because of Lulu. Because I felt sorry for him. For all of you. And he was just so sad, you know? I just wanted to help him. Maybe figure out how to convince you to let him see her in California. But…well, things happened. I’m sure you heard about Sonny.”

“Yeah. Was…was that why you were on the pier that day? Talking to him about Lulu?”

“I can’t tell you that. I can’t tell you anything about any of it. Other than I promise you that until you and Lulu were gone, Johnny and I were nothing but friendly acquaintances,” Nadine said. “That’s not what we are now, and I’m not going to make any apologies for that.”

“I don’t—I don’t expect you to.” Nikolas nodded. “Okay. Okay. That was more of an explanation than I deserved. Lucky and I—we’re here to fly back with my mother. I don’t plan to come back unless Lu recovers. So I just—I just wanted to say thank you. For forcing me to live again.”

“Thank you for your friendship. I wish you the best. I mean that, Nikolas,” she said when he started to turn away. “I hope there’s a miracle, and you get Lulu and your mother back. I like Lulu. I know that might seem insane, but I’d rather her be here, screaming at me, than locked up the way she is now. I’d give anything to save you the kind of hell that you’ve been through with your mother.”

“Thanks. Take care of yourself, Nadine.” He kissed her cheek, then left.

Lake House: Hallway

Sam left the guest room and started down the hallway towards the living room, hesitating when she heard a familiar voice with her mother. Maybe she should stay out of sight until Diane left, she thought, remembering that Jason’s lawyer would likely have no love for her. The annoying woman knew far too much about Sam and her acrimonious breakup with Jason for Sam’s comfort, and she had no problem imagining Elizabeth unloading all her fury with Lucky in the weeks since they’d gone.

Sam had tagged along on the return to Port Charles to see her mother and sisters, but she’d been curious to see if Lucky would be able to repair the bridges he’d burned leaving so abruptly — if he would, as he’d boasted in California, be able to use his connections to Elizabeth’s grandmother to guilt Elizabeth into letting him have visitation with the boys after all.

Sam doubted it but figured it would be worth it for Lucky to get a dose of reality — and if it bothered Jason or made waves in his apparent happy life with Elizabeth — well, there was no reason not to have a front row seat.

Sam hovered by the doorway, waiting for a sign that Diane wouldn’t be staying long.

“I still think you can get a better price on that property,” her mother said. “I think another meeting with the council—”

Diane snorted, and there was some rustling of paper. “Please. If I even suggest to Jason that he meet with one more politician, he’ll throw me out of his office. That man does not like schmooze.” There was a beat of silence. “Ironic, if you ask me. Sonny always liked that part of the job, and those city councilors never wanted to meet with him.”

“Jason will never admit it, but his Quartermaine connections open more doors for him. You absolutely should bring it up to him. Point out that everything that makes him seem respectable will be good for the kids.”

Sam made a face at this reminder, but Diane’s tone was thoughtful when she responded, “You have a point. He’s really embraced this whole father thing. Elizabeth is going back to work this week, and they didn’t even bother to hire a nanny. Jason brings Jake everywhere with him, even to the coffee house. I couldn’t imagine wanting to spend so much time with a toddler. They’re so…sticky.”

“No one would ever mistake you for possessing maternal feelings,” Alexis responded dryly, and Diane snickered.

“I’ll stop by there today, bring it up to him. I’ll have a little more coffee first, and another Danish.”

Sam rolled her eyes, and headed back down the hallway towards the kitchen and back door. Sounded like Diane wasn’t leaving any time soon, and she had places to be.

General Hospital: Parking Garage

Anna slammed the car door and offered Mac another scowl. “I simply don’t understand how you can be so resistant! You saw the same as I did yesterday!”

Mac sighed, closed his car door more sedately. “Patrick is a first-time father. He’s overprotective and a control freak. That’s what I saw yesterday.”

She came around the trunk of the car, planted her hands on her hips. “I overheard him telling that blonde nurse that she had to double check everything, every medication, even the epidural—”

“Do I think that’s overboard, sure—”

“I told you that Elizabeth Webber’s complication made no sense, and you refuse to let me tell you the results of the toxicology—”

“Because I can’t use anything that the WSB didn’t get legally, and you know they didn’t go through the right channels. If they did, you’d be using them. So, no, Anna—” Mac clenched his jaw. “I don’t want to know something I can’t do anything about. Get me those records in a way that doesn’t get them tossed out of court, and maybe we’ll talk.”

“But—”

“But nothing. I’ve told you over and over since the day you came here—I can’t help you more than I already have. I’ve told you what I know. I’ve opened my case files. Robin’s healthy. Emma is perfect. Everything went according to plan, and if there is something going on, Patrick’s on top of it. You don’t even know that he’s doing anything illegal—”

“What about unethical? Does that not count for anything?”

“Don’t talk to me about ethics,” Mac said. He shrugged off her hand, headed for the elevators. “Don’t you dare stand there as a representative from the WSB and talk about ethics. They had you committing God knows how many crimes as a double agent—”

“That was for the greater good—”

“Who determines that?” Mac turned back, his scowl deepening. “Who decides any of that? What’s good, what’s bad? Where’s the line, Anna? How do you decide that what you’ve done is any better than what you think Patrick is doing? Or Jason Morgan? I don’t work with ethics. I don’t work with morality. I work with the law. Because that’s all I’ve got, and you used to understand that. You used to respect that.”

“I do—”

“Really? Really? You want to talk about respecting the law, being ethical? You came here and dug in your daughter’s life because she used to date Jason Morgan. Because she’s still close to his family. And now you’re digging in Patrick’s life because maybe something happened to Elizabeth Webber on his watch, and he’s covering it up—”

“He is—”

“Really? You can stand there and tell me that what happened to her was illegal?” Mac demanded. “You know for sure that Elizabeth and her family weren’t made aware of what was going on? That they don’t have these toxicology results? How do you know Elizabeth isn’t keeping what happened quiet because it’s connected to Jason? Why are you so sure it’s Patrick?”

“Because it would have to involve him. He would have to sign off on not investigating—”

“And how do you know he didn’t? Spinelli was hanging around here back then. Maybe everything that happened is completely above board. You’ve got nothing. Even with your toxicology reports. But hey, Anna, if you’re so sure that Patrick is committing crimes, that he’s in cahoots with the mob, ask him.”

Anna pursed her lips, folded her arms. “I can’t. I was directed to keep my cover—”

“Because then Robin would know why you’re really here. So you want me to be the bad guy. I’m not interested, Anna. So either find me something I can actually use or drop it. I’m done having this argument.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

“For that, Lucky, for making you believe I ever thought you were better, I am sorry.” 

The whole trip had been a waste of time. He ought to have let Nikolas come and handle their mother’s transfer on his own for all the good it had done to get on a plane and travel three thousand miles just to have Elizabeth sneer at him.

Lucky tuned out Sam and Nikolas talking about plans for their return to California, Sam’s interest in getting her private investigator’s license in California, Nikolas setting up office space for Cassadine Industries— he was a million miles away.

No, not a million. Just a few. Just standing outside of his house, listening to his ex-wife heap vitriol and hatred on his head as if she was some perfect woman who had never made a mistake. Who had carried on an emotional affair with another man for more than year? Who had lied about the paternity of her son? Who had humiliated him over and over again, year after year—

What right did Elizabeth have to stand in front of his family’s home — the family that had taken her in and loved her more than her own ever had—and denounce Lucky as a father, a husband, and a man?

“I never thought you were the better choice for Jake.”

He’d done a lot of wrong in his life, but he’d never deserved the lies she’d told him. Had she and Jason been laughing at him all this time? Having their affair, keeping their secrets, pretending they were some sort of star-crossed Romeo and Juliet? He was a violent criminal, and she was a lying bitch.

“I just wanted to make sure you know that in every way that matters, you will never measure up to him.”

 “Lucky?”

He jolted when his brother kicked him lightly beneath the table. “What?” Lucky cleared his throat, focused on his girlfriend and Nikolas. “Sorry, I zoned out.”

“We were just wondering if there was anything we left out,” Sam said, tipping her head to the side. “Nikolas asked if you wanted to stop by your aunt’s—”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Your mom said she was still pissed at me, and I’m guessing Aunt Bobbie has heard Elizabeth’s side of the story, too,” Lucky said, making a face. “And I just know Carly is on Jason’s side. You know how she manipulates her mother.”

“Well, if you don’t want to stop by Bobbie’s, then there’s really nothing keeping us here. Mom’s transfer is set,” Nikolas said. “Paperwork is signed. Unless you’ve changed your mind about staying a few more days, talking to that custody lawyer I told you about.”

“Maybe you should talk to him,” Sam said, and Lucky looked at her, frowning. “I know you said you didn’t want a long, drawn-out custody battle, especially if you’ll lose. But if something happens to Cam or Jake, well, you’ll regret it, won’t you? Not doing something. I told you what I heard at my mother’s this morning, about Jason bringing Jake to the coffee house.” She lowered her voice, and leaned in. “I told you, Sonny used to use that place to meet all kinds of people, and you just know Jason’s doing the same thing. Think about Jake being around all of that.”

Lucky dragged a hand down his face. “No,” he said after a long moment. “No, I hate that they’re in this life. That Elizabeth has done this to them, but she made it pretty clear last night that she’d fight anything I tried, and I did myself no favors taking off the way I did.” He glanced at Nikolas who made a show of sipping his coffee, saying nothing. “I did what I thought was right at the time, but we never had a custody agreement. And we all know Jason can fight dirtier than me.”

Sam sighed. “All right, but—”

“I’ve made up my mind. Our life is in California now. It was the right choice,” Lucky said. “A fresh start for all of us away from bad memories and, well, past mistakes.” His mouth firmed as he remembered Elizabeth’s parting words.

 “Because I promise you, Jason and I will make sure that they never remember you.”

“There’s just one stop I want to make before we go.”

Jacks Estate: Michael’s Bedroom

 “Pilar said you were up here.”

Carly paused in the act of laying a stack of folded sweaters into a box, looking up to find her mother at the threshold of Michael’s room. “I thought you were going to spend the day with Nikolas and Lucky.”

Bobbie made a face, then came in and sat on the edge of Michael’s bed. “I started to. I met them for breakfast at Kelly’s and only made it through coffee before Lucky made me angry. Rather than throw my tea at him, I left.”

Carly sat back on her heels, tracing the seam of one of the sweater collars. “Was it about the kids? I haven’t—I wanted to ask Jason how that was going, but there’s been so much going on, and well, he’s made it clear I’m not exactly the person he’d confide in anyway.”

“Carly—”

“I’ve been organizing Sonny’s move to Silver Water. That looks like it can be done next week, which is good. Some closure on that. And I was thinking—this house is just too big for me and Morgan.” Carly closed the drawer she’d emptied, opened another. “When Jax and I deal with the property, I think I’ll tell him he can buy me out or we can just sell—”

Bobbie tipped her head. “Have you decided to file for divorce?”

“No. No, we can’t seem to bring up the word yet, but we’ll get there. And you know, this room is just sitting here.” Carly removed a stack of T-shirts, laid them on top of the sweaters. “Morgan can have the toys, but I thought maybe I could donate the clothes. They’re in good shape—some—some haven’t been worn—”

“Carly—” Bobbie came over, knelt down. “Let’s take a minute—”

“No, it’s okay. It’s okay. I’ve been putting it off because I didn’t want to face it, but there’s no point in pretending. Sonny is gone, just like Michael. It’s—” She looked at her mother, blurred through the tears that stung her eyes. “The rehab center called. They managed to find Sonny a room down the hall from Michael. They’ll be near each other. It’ll make it easier when I visit, but they’ll never know that. They’ll never know—” Her voice broke, and she pressed a fist against her mouth. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know you’ve been through this with BJ, and I’m acting like I’m the first person to lose someone—”

“It was different with BJ,” Bobbie said, though her voice faltered a bit. “It was,” she insisted when Carly just shook her head. “With BJ, there was closure. There was an ending. A devastating ending but all the same — we knew she was gone. With Michael and Sonny — there’s just enough hope to keep them alive. But not enough to dream about them coming home one day and having life go back to the way it was. I want so badly to believe that they’ll both come out of this—”

“What kind of person does it make me that I don’t wish that?” Carly murmured. “I don’t know if I want Sonny to wake up.”

“Carly.”

“He’s the father of my children, and I can’t help but think—God, wouldn’t we all be better off if that bullet had been just a little to the right and maybe it would all be over. It’s not right, it’s not fair that we have to do this again when we just put Michael through this six months ago. Morgan still asks for them both. And I can’t do anything about it. I can’t bring him to see them — he’ll never understand why they can’t wake up. And there’s no grave — it’s just this horrible non-ending. And I hate it. You’re right. There’s no closure. There’s just…this horrible future that I can’t do anything about.”

Coffee House: Jason’s Office

Elizabeth had returned to work that morning, leaving before either of the boys woke up, and after dropping Cameron off at preschool, Jason had worked at home that morning, going over some paperwork, catching up on things he’d pushed aside while Jake took his morning nap and had lunch.

But after lunch, there were things that had to be done in person, so Jason headed to the coffee house, packing Jake up with a bag of toys and snacks, reminding himself that he needed to set something up more permanent at the office so that Jake had an area to play in without having to drag bags back and forth.

Jake was happy enough sitting on the floor by the sofa, playing with his dump truck and some of his other favorite toys that made noise. Then he wanted to color, and Jason switched areas with him, setting him up at the desk with crayons, blank paper and coloring books, and went to read the reports on the sofa.

He just liked being in the same room with his son, keeping one eye on him, listening to him amuse himself — having a conversation with himself as he picked out crayons. It reminded him of that first Christmas in the studio, when he’d recuperated from his gunshot wound and Elizabeth had sung to herself while painting.

About an hour before it was time to pick up Cameron, Jake climbed down from Jason’s desk chair, and headed to the bag they’d packed. Jason didn’t raise his head from the contract, but his eyes were on the toddler the whole time.

Jake dug through it, then came up with Chuggin’ Charlie Rides Again, his current favorite book. He came to Jason, held it out. “Book. Daddy. Read.”

Without a second thought, Jason set the paperwork aside, lifted Jake in his arms, and they leaned back, Jake holding the book open.

A few pages in, Jason heard voices outside — Francis’s voice closer to the door, and easier to recognize. He’d been told that only Diane and Elizabeth were to interrupt him unless it was an emergency, so Jason returned his attention to the book, making it to the end of another page before the voices in the hall got closer—and louder.

And Jason recognized the second only a moment before the door crashed open, and Lucky was there.

Has someone taken your faith?
It’s real, the pain you feel
Your trust, you must confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best
The best of you?
– Best of You, Foo Fighters

---

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

 Crimson Pointe: Terrace

Claudia paced from one end of the terrace to the other, her black stilettos clicking against the paving stones beneath her feet. She’d managed to keep her father happy with the news Johnny planned to call and make plans soon—

But the conversation with Jerry Jacks still echoed in her head, and no matter how she twisted, Claudia just couldn’t see a way out of this. Not one that kept her relationship with her brother intact. He needed to get into Jason’s circle of trust.

The door behind her opened, and Claudia turned. Ric stepped out, a jacket in one hand, and a wine glass in the other. He handed her the wine, then dropped the jacket on her shoulders. “It’s too cold to be out here in that dress,” he told her, stepping back. “And you look like you need a drink.”

“I need the bottle,” she muttered. She swirled the dark red liquid, then tilted the glass back, drinking half the contents in one desperate gulp. “And don’t look at me that way.”

“What way?” He tipped his head, his eyes soft. But she wasn’t going to fall for that. Nope.

“Like you’re not waiting for the first chance to throw me under the bus so you can look good in front of my father. I know you, Ric,” Claudia bit out. “You and me, we’re the same. Look out for number one. No one else matters.”

“And that’s why we get along so well. How do you know I can’t help you and keep things good with Anthony? I’ve got a lot of experience playing both sides.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” Her fingers tightened around the stem of the glass. “Even if I needed help—which I don’t—I wouldn’t ask a lawyer, that’s for damn sure. I just—” Claudia hesitated. “I made a mistake, and I can fix it. I can do that, I’m a big girl.”

“Are you telling me or yourself?”

“Ah, to hell with this.” She shoved the wine and jacket at him, then stalked inside.

General Hospital: Robin’s Room

“I want to count her fingers again,” Robin said to Patrick, her voice still a bit hoarse. “I know there were ten the last time—”

“And the time before,” he added, but was smiling. “But go ahead. Let’s see if she lost a finger or two since then.”

“You’re making fun of me,” Robin accused, shifting their daughter in her arms, wincing as she moved the bottom half of her body. “Oh, man. That’s going to hurt forever.”

“Well, it’s not like labor is easy. I still have claw marks on my arm—”

“Very funny.” Robin held out the bundle, and Patrick accepted, still marveling at how light the baby felt. Nothing more than a bundle of feathers, he thought. Robin laid her head back against the pillow, closing her eyes. Her eyes fluttered again, and found his. “We have a baby. She’s here.”

Months of terror had led to this scrap of human in his arms. Patrick gazed down at the miniature face, her tiny fists covered with white mittens to protect her skin.

“Hey.” A soft knock drew his attention and he looked over to find Elizabeth stepping inside the room. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

Robin’s eyes opened again, and she grinned. “Elizabeth. I made a baby.”

“Yeah, you did,” Elizabeth said, returning the broad smile. “Let me see!”

Reluctantly, Patrick placed her in Elizabeth’s arms. “Careful, she’s—” He winced when Elizabeth just arched a brow. “Right. Forgot who I was talking to.”

“That’s okay. You’re a first time daddy, you’re allowed to be overprotective. Oh, look at her little mouth and that nose! She looks just like you, Robin,” Elizabeth said. “What’s her name?”

“Emma.” Robin reached for Patrick’s hand. “Emma Grace. We wanted something for Emily, but not quite Emily, you know? In case Jason—well, I guess in case you and Jason want to do something one day.”

“Oh, wow, I don’t know about that, but Emma is a beautiful name.” Elizabeth’s eyes glimmered with tears. “She’s so beautiful, you guys. Absolutely perfect. You did good work. I’m so happy for you.”

“It’s hard to think about life moving forward sometimes,” Robin said, her eyes open fully now. “This little girl is here, and down the hall, a few flights down…” She chewed on her bottom lip. “Gossip says he’s being moved sometime next week.”

“Yeah. Yeah, they’re talking about it.” Elizabeth swayed, rocking the baby in her arms. “I’ll make sure you find out when. In case you want to…I don’t know. I know how close you were.”

“Seems almost unfair, doesn’t it?” Robin said as Elizabeth handed Emma back to her. “Here I am, with everything I ever wanted. A perfect baby. Great friends. Hot fiancé.”

“Hey. I’m not just a set of dimples you know,” Patrick said, and she grinned.

“I said what I said.” Robin looked back at Elizabeth. “Here I am with the whole world at my feet, and there’s so many who didn’t get this far. Stone. Lily.” Her eyes were pained. “Georgie. Emily. Michael. Now Sonny. You start to wonder why you get the good fortune, and they don’t.”

“Hey,” Patrick said, a bit uncomfortable. “You deserve all this—”

“So did Michael. He was such a sweet little boy. You remember him, don’t you, Elizabeth? He had the loveliest smile as a baby.” Robin closed her eyes. “I loved him like he was my own, you know. It killed me when she came back. When she took my life. My baby. My love.”

Patrick stroked her hair. “That was a long time ago, sweetheart.”

“I know. I know. And it worked out for the best because I have you and I have Emma. And Jason, I’m glad for him, too. He has you.” Robin met Elizabeth’s eyes. “But Michael. I know it sounds awful, but there’s something about your firstborn. I know Michael wasn’t ours. But we loved him. We loved him so much. And now he’s gone, and we never get to find out who he would have been.”

“Hey.” Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed. “It doesn’t sound awful at all. I know how much Jason loves Michael. And you, I’m so sorry I didn’t think of how it might hit you.”

“I didn’t either, but Emma, she’s here. I get to hold her. And there hasn’t really been another baby I’ve loved like her except him—” She exhaled slowly. “I’m okay. I’m okay. I just—it hit me all at once. Hormones,” she managed.

“You never have to apologize,” Patrick told her, then met Elizabeth’s eyes, gave her a look. She nodded.

“I’m totally abusing my power and visiting after hours, but I couldn’t stand to wait another minute. I absolutely plan to spend every break here tomorrow,” she warned Robin, then kissed her cheek. “Why don’t you get some sleep? You’ll need it, I promise.”

“Let me take Emma so she can nap,” Patrick told Robin. “I’ll walk Elizabeth to elevator.” He kissed her forehead, settled Emma in her bassinet.

Out in the hallway, Elizabeth cleared her throat. “You’re not angry at her, are you? Because—”

“God, no. I just feel like a heel for never really thinking about her past with Michael. She mentioned it, but I don’t think I realized until right now how all of that must felt.” He folded his arms, absently rubbing his bicep with one hand. “I wasn’t here for any of that.” He looked at Elizabeth. “How’s, uh, Jason with that?”

“Managing. Better than he was. But next week—” She sighed. “I’m just—I understand what Robin’s thinking. Because I have what I want, too. Perfect little boys who are happy and healthy. A wonderful man that loves me. Supportive family, friends. And I look at Jason, even Carly, Monica—and I just think—how much loss should one family have to face?”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

After dinner, Jason volunteered to handle clean up and bedtime so that Elizabeth could go to the hospital and see Robin and the baby. He’d go another time, or when Robin was home, he assured her.

After putting the dishes in the dishwasher, and a bath that had left both boys clean but the towels soaked, Jason settled them downstairs on the sofa with some toys and Chuggin’ Charlie on the television. He’d hoped to get through some paperwork before it was bedtime, but Cameron wanted him to play.

And maybe one day Jason would say no to that request, but after the conversation at the coffee house earlier, it wasn’t going to be today.

Cameron explained all the superheroes to him, patiently holding each one up, reciting their name, powers, and some backstory that Jason knew he wouldn’t keep straight and wasn’t sure how a four-year-old could.

Cameron went over to the toy box and returned with a doll with blonde hair. “This is the victim. We save her,” he told Jason. “You be Deadpool and I be Spiderman.”

“Me.” Jake came over, picked up a blue toy with the American flag. “Me, Cam. I be Blue.”

Cameron made a face. “You’re not big enough to be Cap.” He rooted around in his plastic box, handed Jake a plastic doll. “You be Venom. He’s bad guy. He kidnap princess, and Spiderman and Deadpool save him.”

Jake threw the figurine. “Not bad guy! I good guy!”

Jason scratched his forehead. “Cameron, does it matter which one he plays?”

Cameron looked aggrieved, so clearly it mattered a lot but then looked at his little brother with his eyes shimmering with tears. “Okay. You Cap, but Spiderman in charge.”

Jake beamed, his fingers grasped around the blue superhero. “I Cap, Daddy. See?” He held it out for Jason to examine. “He blue. I like blue.”

“I see that. Blue’s a good color.” Jason made a show of examining the toy, then looked up to see Cameron watching them. “Spiderman’s blue, too,” he said, a bit hesitantly, unsure if he’d unwittingly showed a preference between the two.

“You Jake’s Daddy. He calls you that every day.”

Jason sat back against the sofa, stretched out his legs. “Uh, yeah, I guess he does.” He had, in fact, done it more regularly lately, Jason thought. “Is that okay?”

Cameron pursed his lips. He sat back on his heels. He looked down at his toy, moving Spiderman’s leg back and forth. “Me and Jake used to have the same daddy. I don’t got one now.”

Jason went still because this wasn’t a conversation he’d been expecting or prepared for. Not this way. Not without Elizabeth. “Why do you think that?”

“Daddy took us to Grammys and said he’d come back.” Cameron looked at him, and the sadness in his’s eyes made him want to hunt Lucky Spencer down and disembowel him. “He not come back. But we come here with Grammy. I like it.”

“I like it, too,” Jason said carefully. “I like having you both here. And your mother.”

“And Snelli sometimes,” Cameron said. “But how come Jake call you Daddy? Why do he got a different daddy? Where did mine go?”

Jason considered the question, looked at Jake, then at Cameron again. “There are a lot of ways to make a family. You and your mother are family because of blood. And love.”

“She made me in her tummy like she make Jake. She said I was safe and warm until I was ready, and she let me feel Jake kick. That’s why she’s my mommy.”

“That’s right. Sometimes, two people—they love each other and they make a baby together that lives in the mommy’s tummy for a while.”

“You and Mommy make Jake?” Cameron said. He looked at his brother, furrowed his brow. “Who make me with Mommy?”

“His name was Zander. He died before you were born. Like Aunt Emily.”

“Oh.” Cameron considered this. “But I had a daddy. Me and Jake have a daddy. You and Mommy didn’t make me?”

“No, I wish we had,” Jason told him. He reached for Cameron, and the four-year-old came easily, sitting in Jason’s lap. “Families can be made because they share blood. That’s you and your mommy and Jake. But they can also be made from choice. Aunt Emily was my sister, but our mother didn’t make us. She chose us to raise and love. And Aunt Carly. She’s my family because we chose her, so you and Jake are her family, too. And Morgan. Aunt Bobbie chose your mother, so she’s yours. There are a lot of ways to be a family, Cam.”

“I like choosing. I choosed Morgan, and Aunt Car and Aunt Bobbie and Uncle Nik and Aunt Lu—” Cameron blinked. “But my daddy stopped choosing me. He went away. He said he come back and he never come back.” He was quiet. “Are you going away?”

“No. I’m not going anywhere. Every day, I take you to school, and what do I tell you?”

“You say you see me after. And you always come back.” Cameron’s lips curved into a smile, and his face lit up. “You choose me?”

“I choose you,” Jason said. “Every day forever. I choose you and your mother and your brother.”

Cameron laid his head against Jason’s shoulder. “Okay. I choose you, too. Now me and Jake have the same daddy again.”

“Yeah.” Jason kissed the top of his head, gathered Jake to his other side. “Yeah, you do.”

General Hospital: Nursery

After leaving Elizabeth at the elevator, Patrick had convinced Robin to take Emma to the nursery so that Robin could get some real rest. It had been a battle, but Patrick had promised to check on their daughter often until Robin woke up.

Now, he stood in front of the glass window watching the row of babies, watching his daughter sleep, her little fists raised up on either side.

She was here. She was real. He was a father.

He heard the squeak of shoes against the linoleum and looked up, saw Matt standing not far away, indecision in his expression. The younger man didn’t move closer, but he didn’t leave either.

Patrick looked back at Emma. “I never wanted to be a father,” he said. “Never wanted to fall in love. Never wanted my father’s life. To love someone so much that the loss destroys you.”

Matt stepped up to the glass but remained several feet away from him. “How’s that going for you?”

Patrick’s lips twitched. “Terribly. I fought it every step of the way, but I can’t imagine my life without Robin. And this little girl…” He laid a hand against the glass window. “I don’t know how he did it. How he could walk away from you. I don’t know what kind of man could do that.” He looked at Matt. “Do you ever wonder if there are more—if we have more siblings?”

“No. And I don’t want to know. I—I didn’t know you were here. I wouldn’t have come if I did.” Matt paused. “I thought about what you said a few weeks ago. About being family. I don’t—I don’t think I can.”

Patrick nodded, finally looking at his brother again. “Okay.”

Matt frowned. “Okay?” he echoed.

“Okay,” Patrick repeated. “That’s how I felt a few months ago. And that’s how you feel right now. I thought I was better off alone, and I didn’t change my mind about that overnight. Maybe you won’t. But I meant what I said. You know where to find me if you change your mind. It doesn’t have to be today. Next month. Or next year. I’m here.” He looked back at his daughter, his throat tightening. “Because I know what kind of man I’m going to be. I don’t walk away from my family. And that includes you. If you ever want it.”

Spencer House: Driveway

Elizabeth parked in the driveway behind a car with rental tags. She stared at it for a long moment, then looked up at the house — it had been such a touchstone once, of the life and love she’d wanted. She’d dreamed of being part of the Spencer family until it became a crutch keeping her standing. When given the chance to live in that house, to carry on Laura’s legacy and raise her babies in that dream, she had leapt at it, sure that she’d finally be happy.

But she should have remembered how much of the Spencer family love and strength was a myth, a facade that had crumbled when Laura had faltered, tipped from her pedestal. She’d never really known Luke and Laura the way Lucky had, but he’d told her so many stories, painted such a golden childhood that she’d fallen in love with the fantasy. Had stayed in love with the mirage far longer than the man.

Elizabeth climbed out of the car, headed up the walk towards the house hesitating when the door opened and Lucky stepped out. He remained up on the porch, and she at the bottom of the steps, just looking at each other for a long moment.

“I heard your car.” Lucky slid his hands in his pockets, came forward a few steps, and she walked up the steps but didn’t reach the top. “I guess your grandmother called you.”

“She did.”

For so many weeks, she’d wondered about this moment. What would she feel when she looked at Lucky again — this man around whom she had wrapped so much of her identity? So much of her self-worth, self-respect, her life—

“I never really apologized to you,” Elizabeth said, and she could see that her words had startled Lucky, nearly as much as they’d surprised her. But once she’d spoken them, the rest flowed easily as if they’d been stored inside of her from the beginning, and she’d only had to tap into it. “For lying to you about Jake. It was cruel to do that to you, to Jason, and to Jake. Maybe I could live with it if I thought you were the better man, the better father, but you’re not. And I never believed you were.”

“This is an apology?” Lucky asked, lifting his brows. “Because you suck at them.”

“I was ashamed of what I’d done to Jason, the lies I’d told him, the ways I’d hurt him, but I wasn’t sorry for what I did to you. I am now. Because you thought it meant I chose you, and you need to know I didn’t. I chose to be safe, to cling to what was familiar. But I never thought you were the better choice for Jake.”

“Christ, Elizabeth—” He flinched. “That’s a hell of a thing to say to me now—”

“I can’t let you think for one more minute that I chose you. You think that’s what I was doing when I lied about it. What I was doing when I let the lie continue last year, and it’s not. I chose safety,” Elizabeth repeated, and he looked at her again. “But you think it gave you power. That it gave you the right to push me around. To stand in that emergency room, and in front of Jason, wield that power to send Sam to my grandmother’s house to pick up the boys. You thought you had the power in this, and you didn’t. That’s my fault, and for that I’m sorry. Because you learned on a very difficult night that you were the only one who had no say in what happened to Jake. For that, Lucky, for making you believe I ever thought you were better, I am sorry.”

Lucky exhaled slowly, looked away. “Well, if you wanted to pay me back for the horrible way I handled all of that, you’re doing it—”

“No, there’s nothing I could say that would ever make me feel better about what you did. Because you didn’t do it to me. I was unconscious. You were already gone and out of the picture by the time I woke up. You did that to my grandmother who had always supported you. Even when I wanted to give up, Gram encouraged me to keep trying. You did that to her, Lucky. And you did it to Cameron.”

“He didn’t even know—”

“He was on the stairs that morning. He watched you leave.”

Lucky shook his head. “No, no he wasn’t—I didn’t—” He raised a fist in front of his mouth. “No.”

“He was there when you closed the door. And he knew you were leaving. He’s asked for you. For days after that. Where’s Daddy? When is Daddy coming back—”

“Stop it—”

“Daddy said he’d come back,” Elizabeth continued, and Lucky closed his mouth. “Why didn’t he come back? Was I bad? Tell him I’ll be good.”

“I didn’t think—”

“No, you didn’t think about Cameron. You don’t have to tell me that. You weren’t thinking about him when you slept with Maxie, when you let me send him to stay with my grandmother while you detoxed, and then kept taking the pills. You didn’t think about Cameron when you slept with Sam. You didn’t think of Cameron, Lucky, because you just don’t think about him. You were hurt and you were furious with Jason for throwing his weight around, and you decided to make me pay for it. But I wasn’t there. I’m not the one that dealt with it. Gram was. She wanted to be with me at the hospital, but she couldn’t. You made sure of that.”

“I was dealing with a lot, okay? Maybe you were unconscious and can’t appreciate what happened, but Lulu had a breakdown. Just like my mother.” Lucky dragged a hand through his head. “What if it’s genetic? What if happens to me? I was—”

“Overwhelmed, I know.” Elizabeth’s throat was tight. “Kate was shot that day, and Sonny was running around like a lunatic, assaulting people, getting arrested. I was in surgery, and somehow, Jason didn’t get too overwhelmed to handle everything. He made sure Gram was kept in the loop, Carly took the boys so that Gram could be with me, and then, even when I was in surgery, nearly dead from complications, and Sonny was shot in the head, Jason took Cameron to school and picked him up.”

“Oh, come on—” Lucky rolled his eyes. “He’s so perfect, right?”

“No, he’s not.” She paused, waited for him to look at her again, for their eyes to meet. “But he’s better than you. I just wanted to make sure you know that in every way that matters, you will never measure up to him. I know that bothers you,” she continued, and he scowled. “You’ve always thought you were runner up to him. Always thought I was settling for you.”

Elizabeth paused again. “You’re right. It was always going to be Jason for me, and it was wrong of me to lie to you. To make you think you were the better man. I’d hate for you to come all the way back here and think there was a chance that you were ever going to come near my sons again. They have a father who loves them now. Who won’t walk out on them because he’s having a bad day. So do whatever you have to here, but Cameron and Jake aren’t part of it. Go back to California, build that new life, and forget they ever existed. Because I promise you, Jason and I will make sure that they never remember you.”

Jacks Estate: Kitchen

Carly went to the fridge. “What are we in the mood for tonight, buddy?” she called over her shoulder to Morgan at the table. I’ve got—” Frozen pizza, frozen chicken nuggets, and leftovers from the night before. She wrinkled her nose. Maybe it was time to think of some full-time help. A housekeeper and cook.

“Dinosaurs,” Morgan told her, then reached for his milk. “My favorite.”

“Oh, thank God.” Carly picked up the green and white bag, then closed the door. The bag went flying and she yelped when she saw Jax standing in the doorway of the kitchen. “You scared the crap out of me! What are you doing?”

“Sorry, sorry—” Jax crouched down to pick up the nuggets. “I see we’re having Morgan’s favorite dinner. Our little gourmet.”

“Jax, Jax!” Morgan slid out of the chair and ran across the room. Jax caught him, swinging him up in his arms, tossing the nuggets to the counter.

“Hey, kiddo. I’ve missed you.”

Deciding not to argue in front of Morgan, Carly picked up the bag and went to the oven. She studied the preheating instructions, then clicked a few buttons. “Is this a social call or—”

“No, well, yes.” Jax set Morgan on the counter, ruffled his hair. “I was driving past the house, and I just thought about you. About Morgan. And I took a chance.”

“We should—” Carly glanced at him, then at the large smile on her son’s face. “We should make some sort of…plan. I mean, if you want. For—you should see Morgan. If that’s what you want.”

“That would be—I would like that.” Jax set Morgan on his feet. “Why don’t you go pick out a movie for us to watch, buddy? Mom will make some nuggets, and we’ll eat in the media room.”

“Awesome!” Morgan pumped his fist in the air and ran out of the room.

“I don’t want it to be like this, Carly. Setting up visitation, custody arrangements—” Jax came closer to her. “What you did for Kate, keeping her in the loop, that was—it was kind of you.”

“Surprised, right? Didn’t know I had it in me?” Carly made a face, then went back to rolling out the foil for the sheet pan. “You’re always so stunned when I show common sense and empathy. Couldn’t understand why I looked after the boys for Elizabeth, why I’m making sure Kate can be part of Sonny’s care. I’m just waiting for the snide comment about me handling it in the first place?”

“Have we fallen so far from where we were?” Jax asked, and she sighed, rubbed her brow. “I assumed you were handling things because Jason’s taken on so much. I know from some, uh, experience, that acquiring a ready made family takes adjustment, and Elizabeth was recovering. It was good of you, to give him that space—”

“There it is again. That tone. You don’t expect me to be a good person, a caring friend—”

“About Elizabeth? No. I don’t. And you were angry about the wedding, angry about Kate—”

“Not because—” Carly closed her eyes, put her hands on the counter, dipped her head. “Sonny destroyed my life when he took my son into that warehouse. Michael isn’t dead, but he might as well be. And then—then I made that awful, stupid decision to—and when the truth came out, you left. And you were—you were right to leave. I’m not mad that you left.”

“But Kate didn’t.”

“No. Sonny got to go on planning a future like he wasn’t the one that took a chainsaw to mine. I got out, I got away from him, and I was happy, and with one decision—” She looked at him, pressed her hands to her chest. “It’s like he carved the heart out of me, and there was nothing left. Nothing left for you and for Morgan. Now he’s—he’s gone, but not gone. Just like Michael. This awful halfway where I don’t know whether to mourn or to hope—and everyone just keeps going on, they just keep moving, and I don’t understand how—”

Jax came forward, as if to take her in his arms but she shoved him back, her voice breaking. “No! No! You don’t get to come here and pat me on my head because I did something nice, okay? You don’t get to come here and pretend like you care about me when we both know you’ll thrown Sonny in my face the next chance you get—”

“I won’t—”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Don’t.” She kept her hand outstretched, then curled it in a fist, looked at him. “You can stay for dinner. Morgan misses you. If you want to spend time with him, I won’t stop you. Sonny’s not here to complain, and Morgan shouldn’t lose anyone else. But I can’t do this. I can’t. I have to make arrangements to move Sonny to Silver Water, and I can’t look at you while I do that.”

Jax stepped back, took a deep breath. “You’re still angry for what I did.”

“And you’re still angry at me.” She met his eyes, and he looked away. “Yes. Yes, I am still angry. Because Jason still can’t look at Sonny. Morgan can’t ever be with his father again. These are the two most important people in my life, and what you did to them hurt them irrevocably.”

“You’d have done the same. If it were Jason in that bed, and Elizabeth desperate to see him—” Jax snapped, but he stopped, winced. “That’s not—”

“Well, since I’m so awful, then I’m doing us both a favor. Why don’t you finish the damn nuggets. Have a guys night with Morgan. I need to get out.” She headed for the door, snatching up her purse on the way out.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth dropped her bag on the desk, and draped her coat over the back of the desk chair. “Hey. Sorry I’m later than I thought I’d be.”

Jason tossed the last toy into the box, then crossed the room to slide his arms around her waist, leaning in for a kiss. “There’s no curfew,” he reminded her. She kept one arm around his waist as they went to the sofa, and sat down. “How was Robin? The baby?”

“The baby is perfect. They named her Emma.” Elizabeth laid her head on his shoulder. “She got a little emotional, remembering Michael. I thought—I don’t know if it’s something you’d want to talk to her about. You guys have such a special history. I know it’s hard to talk about, but maybe it’ll be easier with her.”

“It’s not—” Jason hesitated, then exhaled slowly, looking towards the fireplace, at the flicking flames. “Maybe you’re right,” he said, surprising himself. “Robin was there from almost the beginning. We…she really loved him. I don’t think I really understood what she was going through when Carly came home. I got to keep being Michael’s father, and she…”

“Had to stop being his mother,” Elizabeth said, and Jason nodded. “I…after that, I went to see Lucky.”

“You did?” Jason shifted slightly and she moved away so that they were looking at each other. “I thought you were going to wait to see if he reached out.”

“I was. But talking to Robin about Michael…it made me think about Lucky. Lying to him about Jake. Continuing the lie.” She folded one leg beneath her. “I was wrong on every level for how I handled that. Letting everyone believe what Carly thought was the truth, not telling Lucky once I’d made the decision to tell you. I wish I hadn’t done that. I wish I hadn’t told you and kept lying.”

“You did the best you could—”

“I love that you believe that.” Elizabeth tipped her head to the side, her lips curved. “You always give me the benefit of the doubt, even when I haven’t earned it. I told you in that elevator because I couldn’t stand not to tell you anymore. You’d risked your life to save me, to save the baby, and I was so scared—” She touched her middle, no longer rounded with child. “So scared that I hadn’t felt him move, and then I did, and I just—I needed you to know. But I never should have done that and continued that horrible lie. I’d do anything to change it.”

“It’s okay.” Jason reached for her hand, stroked the back of her fingers. “We’re here now, and we’re not going back. How did it go with Lucky?”

“I didn’t really give him a chance to say anything. I didn’t go there to hear his side, to see what he thought or wanted. Because it doesn’t matter. I know everything I need to. I apologized for lying to him, for letting him think he was in control. You never should have been standing there in the emergency room, listening to him talk about what was going to happen to your son. After everything else — he did that because he thought he could, and that’s something I let happen.”

“I needed to stand up and stop it. To stop making it your decision,” Jason told her. “I’m glad I did that. I had to stop reacting, letting everything happen around me.”

“I can still be annoyed he did it, and that I created that situation. Jason, do you know his defense? How he explained dumping the boys with Gram, dropping their things, and leaving that way? He was overwhelmed,” she said. “Overwhelmed. Because Lulu had a terrible setback, he couldn’t handle that and being humiliated by you. So he lashed out, abandoned the boys he said he loved like his own, and left without a goodbye. No word for five weeks.”

Jason opened his mouth, then closed it, looked away.

“And all I could think about was that night we argued, when I kept pushing and pushing, and you finally told me that you’d shut down. That you’d heard about Sonny and you’d just stopped feeling.” Her voice thickened, and he looked back to see her eyes glimmering with tears. “Hit after hit after hit, you absorbed it all. Emily, Alan, Michael, everything I threw at you, being on trial, everything Sam threw at you, Spinelli getting hurt, Kate getting shot, my accident, my setback, and then Sonny was just it. The last thing you could handle. But you still—you still took Cameron to school. You dropped him off, you picked him up. You sat with Jake. And they never knew anything was wrong.”

“I don’t—” Jason shifted, shook his head. “They had nothing to do with any of that. I’m glad I had them, to be able to focus on nothing but Cameron and the drive to school. I know you think I was doing that to make up for all the times I couldn’t, but it was…” He hesitated. “The best part of my day,” he said finally. “Listening to Cameron in the backseat, talk about anything and everything that came in his head. It was a relief to just listen to him and live in his world for just a little while. Having them to focus on, to look after — I don’t know.”

“It’s what a parent does. We don’t have a choice. They’re helpless children who didn’t ask to be in the world, and it’s our job to keep them safe and happy. You did that for my boys.”

“They’re ours,” Jason corrected, and she smiled. “Cameron—he asked about Jake. Calling me daddy. I could have waited for you, but—”

“I trust you to know how to handle those questions,” she interrupted, and he nodded. “Did he ask about Lucky?”

“He did. I avoided saying anything about him directly or why he didn’t come back. He might bring it up to you or not. I told him about Monica. That she didn’t share my blood or Emily’s, but that she chose us to love, to take care of. And he, uh, told me he wanted to choose me.” Jason smiled, in spite of himself, and looked at Elizabeth who was beaming. “So, that’s what happened.”

“We’re going to be all right,” she said. She curled back into his arms, and he wrapped her tight in his embrace. “No, better than that. We’re going to be happy.”

Now that we’re here
Now that we’ve come this far
Just hold on
There is nothing to fear
For I am right beside you
For all my life
I am yours
– What About Now?, Daughtry

---

 Wednesday, November 5, 2008

 Hardy House: Living Room

Her ex-grandson-in-law rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess you’re still mad about the way I left.”

“Still—” Audrey had to take a deep breath and a step back, the rage rose so quickly in her throat. “Oh, the absolute nerve, the audacity—”

 “Still mad,” Lucky said with a nod. “Listen, Audrey—”

The absolute nerve of this worthless man! “That will be Mrs. Hardy to you and for the rest of your days. You lost the right to speak to me with any familiarity the second you walked out on those boys, on Cameron who spent two weeks asking for his father.”

Lucky exhaled, looked away. “I was overwhelmed. Everything that happened with my sister, Audrey, and I doubt Jason told you, but he announced—”

“That he was Jake’s father to the entire emergency room?” Audrey finished, and Lucky furrowed his brow. “You think you’ll waltz in here after all this time and I’ll simply take your side? You think that my granddaughter and I haven’t had several long conversations filling in the gaps? Or perhaps you thought Jason wouldn’t tell Elizabeth or anyone else what you were planning to do that night.”

Lucky opened his mouth, then closed it. “I—”

“Overwhelmed? Overwhelmed? I have never been so insulted in all my life. Did you honestly think that you could waltz back into this house, into those boys’ lives as if everything you did could be waved away because your sister was ill? I am sorry for what has happened to Lesley Lu. It is a tragic and terrible situation for everyone who loves her, but Elizabeth was in the hospital. She nearly died a few days later after some complications—”

“I know—”

“You know? You know that Elizabeth had to have emergency surgery? Oh, I imagine your girlfriend was in contact with her family. Did Alexis tell Sam? Does she know what the woman did to Jake? To both those boys?”

“Audrey—Mrs. Hardy,” Lucky corrected when Audrey’s nostrils flared, and she started to close the door. “If you would just let me speak—”

“You want to speak to me now? Now? When I begged you that morning to stay, to talk about what was going on and you could barely take a moment to look me in the eyes. But now you want to speak—” Audrey raised her hand in the air, then fisted it. “Well, that is too little too late. My granddaughter has recovered her health, with no thanks or help from you. You chose to abandon those precious children who adore you when they needed you the most. They needed you, Lucky, and you were not there. I needed you. I have always championed you, Lucky. I have always encouraged Elizabeth to stay with you, to give you another chance. After the drugs, after Maxie, after she forgave you all that, you had another affair—”

“She lied to me,” Lucky said tightly. “You’re leaving that out—”

“And if you had left her because of that, I would have no argument with you. You chose to stay, Lucky. And then had your affair with that woman. And continued to see her even after you knew what she’d done to Jake. To the boys in the park.”

“I see Elizabeth gave you the Cliff’s Notes—is there any point to asking you to hear me out, or are you just going to tell me how horrible I am?” Lucky retorted. “Great, Audrey, now you know all the dirty details. I made a mistake, okay? I was overwhelmed, and upset, and I ran. I’m not proud of it, but all I can do is try to fix things. And if you could just listen to me—”

“If it is the last thing I do, Lucky Spencer, it will be to prevent you from breathing the same air as my great-grandchildren. They are happy and secure with their mother. Jake adores his father. I have to thank you for leaving and giving Jason ample time to bond with his son,” Audrey said, her tone dripping with sugary sweetness. Lucky scowled. “And for making sure that I saw you for who you really are before you went. It will be a cold day in hell before I ever plead your case again. Get off my property or I’ll have you arrested for trespassing.”

General Hospital: Labor & Delivery

 Robin’s head fell back against the pillow, flushed and damp. Her hand reached up, gripped his tie, yanked him down. “You did this to me,” she spat. “You.”

Patrick winced. “I know, and I’m sorry—”

“Robin, don’t murder the poor man.” Anna deftly untangled Robin’s fingers and Patrick was able to raise his head. He rubbed his throat. “The epidural isn’t helping?”

“I think it’s broken. I think you need to get another one—” Robin arched up, another contraction wracking her body. “Oh, God. Here it comes—”

“Aren’t they close enough for you to…” Patrick waved his hand at Kelly, hovering by Robin’s legs, lifted up by the stirrups. “Do something?”

“Did you pay attention at all when you did your obstetrics rotation in med school?” the doctor demanded. She planted her fists at her hips, rolled her eyes, then looked to Robin. “Honey, you’re dilated to about an eight. I know it hurts, I know it feels like the drugs aren’t working, but it would be so much worse without them—”

“No, no—” Her head lolled to one side, and she looked up at him, her pretty brown eyes shadowed with the pain. “Patrick. Please. Something isn’t right.”

“Hey. Hey.” He gripped her hand, bent down. “Kelly’s the best, remember? You think she’s going to let anything happen to you or this baby?”

“It hurts. I changed my mind. I don’t want to have a baby. Can we go home?”

He swept her sweaty hair back, forced a smile. “I don’t think we get a refund on this one, babe. We have to see it through to the end. I wish it were me.”

“So—do—I—” Robin grunted. “Kelly—”

“Everything is progressing just the way it’s supposed to.”  Kelly flashed her an encouraging smile. “We’re almost ready to push, Robin. It won’t be long now.”

Coffee House: Office

Max knocked, then pushed open the door. “Hey, Jase. Elizabeth asked if you had a minute—”

“Always.” Jason was out of his seat and away from the desk even before Elizabeth had crossed the threshold with Jake in her arms. He cupped the back of her head, kissed her as Max pulled the door closed. “Hey,” he murmured against her mouth, feeling the curve of her lips.

“Hey.”

Jake reached for Jason, and he stepped back to take his son in his arms. Rubbing the toddler’s back, he focused on Elizabeth. “I wasn’t expecting you, was I?”

“No. No.” She set her purse on the table, dropped Jake’s bag on the floor. “Gram called, and I just—I needed to see you. I need to figure out what we’re going to do—”

“What happened?” Jason went to the other side of the office, picking up Jake’s bag as he passed it. Then he set him down on a blanket, pulling out a dump truck and a few other toys for him to play with.

“Lucky showed up at her house today.”

Jason stilled, his hand on the dump truck. He exhaled slowly. “Did he?”

“Gram was so upset on the phone she could barely speak. She’s still so angry about how everything happened, how he left that morning. And for taking his side all the time.”

Jason got to his feet, some of the tightness in his chest easing at the realization Audrey hadn’t fallen back on old habits. “She did what she thought was best. I don’t want her upset by any of this. Especially not by him.”

“That’s what I told her. She’s just so—” Elizabeth hesitated. “Lucky said he was overwhelmed that morning, and he wants to deal with things now.” She dragged her hands through her hair. “Can you believe that? After all these weeks with no word, and he thinks he can just come back?”

“Does that surprise you?” Jason asked. He leaned back against the desk. “Do you—I mean, with Cameron, I know he still asks for Lucky—”

“Not as much as he did.” Elizabeth folded one arm across her middle, nibbled at the thumbnail on her other hand. “He thinks he can pick and choose when to be a father, and I was willing to put up with that. It makes me sick that I ever thought he was good enough for Jake, much less Cameron. I want you to know that’s not an option,” she told Jason, and the rest of the tightness faded. He could breathe again. “Jake knows you, he loves you. That’s off the table and it’s never coming back. It’s just Cameron—”

“It’s different. He’s older,” Jason said. He reached for her hand, drew it away from her mouth. “I told you we’d handle that however you wanted. Cameron knows I love him, and that’s enough for me.”

“It’s not enough for me. Jake—that’s a mistake I made. A terrible awful lie that I didn’t know how to unwind, and I made so many bad choices, and I hurt all of us. But it’s over now, and Lucky doesn’t get to come back after a month of silence and have a say in anything that happens to Jake. That was a risk he took, you know? But Cameron—that was supposed to be different. He promised me, he swore to me that he loved my little boy. That he didn’t care that he wasn’t Cam’s father by blood. And Cameron has loved him every day he can remember.”  She tipped her head back, trying to fight the tears. “I thought I’d put this away, I thought I was done with this.”

“You trusted him with your son, Elizabeth, and he walked away.”

“I keep thinking of Cameron standing on my grandmother’s steps, watching Lucky leave, and you know, he’s too young to really understand words, but he knew Lucky was leaving. And he knows he never came back. I don’t want him to think that’s what fathers do. That he has to earn his father’s love—I spent my whole life, Jason, not being good enough for my parents—”

He drew her close to him, kissed her gently, just a brush of his lips against her trembling mouth. He kept her close, stroking her cheek with the pad of his thumb. He didn’t reassure her that she was good enough — she knew it. But Lucky had brought it all back, and Jason would have dropped him in the lake for just putting that look in her eyes again.

“We don’t have to have all the answers today. Cameron knows that you love him, and that you’ll always be there for him.”

She curled her hands around his wrists. “I don’t want Lucky in his life. I don’t want Cam to have another moment like that. And he won’t. Not with you. I want my little boy to have you. I want him to feel loved with every breath he takes. So if Lucky tries for custody, I want you to do whatever you have to, and make it go away.”

“I know a few people,” Jason said. He kissed her forehead. “Don’t worry. If he’s stupid enough to try for visitation, he’ll regret it. You’re not unconscious in a hospital bed this time.”

“No, this time, he won’t get away without hearing exactly what I think.” She smiled, and though her lashes were still damp, the sadness had left her eyes. “Maybe if you had time, we could get Cam together today. Do something. Just the four of us.” She bit her lip. “But if you’re busy—”

“Nothing that can’t wait.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

He was coming out of his skin, pacing the apartment, thinking about the awful visit from his sister.

Who the hell could Claudia have pissed off so much that she was absolutely terrified? He’d seen his sister worried, unsettled, or unhappy, but scared?

He didn’t know the word was even in her vocabulary.

Johnny crossed from the living room door to the window overlooking the street, his mind racing.

Don’t ask, don’t tell. It was the only way Johnny had been able to breathe these last few months, but he didn’t think Nadine would care that he didn’t technically know how Michael Corinthos had ended up with a bullet in his head, or that he hadn’t known then.

Her heart was too generous, her soul too clean for her to look past the stain on his own. He dragged a hand down his face. And what if Claudia was wrong? Whoever had threatened her had done so today after their lunch.

Which meant they were in Port Charles.

“Where’s your wife right now? Are you sure she’s okay? Because you’d better get used to feeling that way. You won’t know a second of peace if you’re not with her.”

Johnny headed for the door, yanking his coat off the hook on his way out.

He had the sudden urge to see his wife.

General Hospital: Labor & Delivery

The pain had been so constant, so steady, that Robin almost grew used to it, riding the waves of sheer agony mixed with dull throbbing as the contractions ebbed and flowed over the last few hours.

But then it had happened so fast—bearing down, Kelly telling her to keep pushing, to keep going, to just push a little harder—

There was the shoulder! It was all downhill from here—just push—

A harsh, high-pitched cry broke out and Robin could see a baby being lifted up—her baby—her little, red-bodied furious child protesting the loss of a warm, comfortable world—

Kelly laid the baby on Robin’s chest, and Robin was crying—couldn’t feel it, didn’t know it, but the tears dripped down, and she looked at Patrick, his cheeks wet, his hand coming down to cup the back of their child’s head with her shock of dark hair—

“It’s a girl!” Kelly crowed. “Here, Patrick, come cut—”

A girl. Robin was dimly aware that Patrick had stepped away, taking the surgical shears from their friend and was cutting the cord that linked Robin to their daughter, keeping her fed and nourished all this time, keeping her safe and healthy—

“Oh, my darling, my love—” Anna leaned down, kissed Robin’s forehead. “She’s here.” Her mother’s voice was hoarse, the glimmer of tears in her eyes.

“She’s here,” Robin breathed. She smiled, even as the tears continued to flow. A dream she’d never really hoped for, the future she’d never expected — and now it was here, and Robin was holding her— “Patrick, she’s here.”

“Yeah, she is. And she’s perfect.” Patrick kissed their daughter, then Robin, pressing their foreheads together. “You both are.”

But the little family time had to be disturbed. Nadine and another labor nurse whisked the baby away to clean up and be given the first anti-retroviral therapy medication to prevent any perinatal transmission of HIV, a regimen that would last at least a month. They wouldn’t be able to test her until later, until her system was clear of any connection to Robin.

Nadine took in this explanation from the experienced nurse, who must have seen the expression on the younger nurse’s face. “Oh, Dr. Scorpio’s anti-viral load isn’t detectable. The chances of transmission were less than one percent. But we still follow the protocol.” She patted Nadine’s hand, then returned the bundle to her parents. Robin had been cleaned up, her face beaming as her daughter was placed in her arms again.

There was nothing else for Nadine to do, and she wanted them to have their time, to have the quiet so she backed out of the room and left the labor and delivery ward, pressing the button to exit the secure wing.

She turned to go down the hall, to head for the break room but saw Johnny pacing back and forth in front of the elevator.

“Johnny? What are you doing here?”

Johnny stopped, his eyes snapping to hers. “Hey. Hey. They said you were in a delivery. I wanted to wait for you.”

Nadine tugged the surgical cap from her hair, her smile still confused. “Yeah, but I’m not done my shift yet. Not for hours.”

“I know. I, just—” He grimaced, shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark, suede jacket. “Do you—I mean, do you have a minute? Can we talk?”

“Sure.” She tossed a look at the nurse behind the counter, then took his arm. “Let’s go up to the roof. I don’t really feel like being on display.”

“Yeah, good. I don’t want anyone to hear us.”

Oh, that didn’t sound good at all.

 Shadybrooke: Laura’s Room

 “We just have to finish packing this last dresser,” Nikolas told Lucky, frowning when his brother remained at the window unresponsive, not unlike their mother. “Lucky?”

“Hm?” Lucky looked at him, nodded. “Yeah. Right. Good.”

Nikolas closed the suitcase, glanced over at his mother, sitting in her chair, her eyes fixed on a point somewhere in the distance. Still empty. Just like their sister. “I’m guessing Audrey Hardy wasn’t happy to see you.”

“No.” Lucky dragged a hand down his face. “No, she was not. She wouldn’t let me explain. Wouldn’t even let me say more than a few words. Jason’s got to her.”

“Jason?” Nikolas repeated. “What does that mean?’

“They were all at his place while Elizabeth recovered. I knew—I knew Alexis told us that, but I don’t think I thought about what that meant.” Lucky went over to the bed, sat on the edge. “She’s on Jason’s side. Completely. And Elizabeth told her all the parts she’d left out before. About Sam and Maxie.”

“Ah. Well, you had to know that was a possibility. Or did you think that the world stood still while we were gone?” Nikolas asked.

“You just—you take things for granted, you know? I’m the good guy. The right choice. The safe one. Audrey always—she always took my part. And she’s always just…been there. When I left, she was upset, I just thought I’d explain how things sort of got out of control with Lulu and what happened in the emergency room, and she’d—”

“I warned you.” Nikolas closed the dresser door he’d been clearing a bit too hard, and the sound echoed in the room. Lucky flinched. “I told you we’d stay and we’d fight. I’d find you a lawyer, and you wanted to go.”

“Who’s side are you on?”

“No one’s. My own. I don’t know. There are no sides, Lucky. There’s what happened and how we deal with it. Our sister is locked in the same place as our mother, with almost no hope of recovery,” Nikolas retorted, and Lucky sighed, rubbed his forehead. “And yeah, it all went to hell in twenty-four hours. But you were never supposed to leave that day. That wasn’t the plan. You chose to leave with Elizabeth in a hospital bed. You chose to dump Jake and Cameron’s things at Audrey’s feet with no discussion, no goodbyes, and you chose to hop on a plane weeks before you were supposed to. No one asked you to quit your job that night. No one asked you to burn the bridges as you left. That was you. And now you’re standing in a room whining about your choices while I look at a woman who will never wake up. What do you expect me to say, Lucky? Congratulations. You gambled and you lost.”

“I—” Lucky stared at him, shaken. “You said to come back, that I should talk to Elizabeth, figure it out—”

“And you should do that. You should talk to Elizabeth. If she even wants to see you—” Nikolas took a deep breath. “We both left her, Lucky. She was bruised and unconscious in a hospital bed. In the ICU. And we walked out. Did we have to go that soon? Could it have waited? I don’t know. But we did what we did, and now we’re coming back like there aren’t consequences—”

“We?” Lucky echoed. He got to his feet. “What happened when you went out today? Did you go to Nadine? It’s what we thought, isn’t it? Some witness bullshit like Sonny and Carly always pulled.”

“I—” Nikolas looked away, caught sight of himself in the mirror. “I saw Maxie first. She told me that you wouldn’t find any friends on the custody front, but then she told me Johnny and Nadine are living together. That they seem….friendly.”

“Friendly?”

“She thinks something is going on. Something else. Nadine got arrested for contempt at his trial, didn’t she?”

“Oh, come on—” Lucky shook his head. “No way. No way. Nadine would defend a serial killer if she thought she was doing the right thing. You know that. Look at the trouble she was getting herself into. And Johnny—he was all about Lulu. You know that. We hated it, but we knew that.” He stopped. “And you left her, Nikolas. You’re the one that burned that bridge, not her.”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s something she said—well, shouted,” Nikolas muttered. He rubbed his chest. “Christ. We made a mess of everything, didn’t we?” He sat on the bed, and Lucky sat next to him.

“Yeah, I guess.” Lucky looked at their mother. “Well, at least Dad’s not around to make things even worse.”

General Hospital: Roof

 Now that he’d dragged Nadine up to the roof where the lights of downtown Port Charles lit up around them, the wind roaring around the sides of the building—Johnny felt like an idiot. He’d rushed over to the hospital just to see her, to make sure she was okay — and now what? Was he planning to tell her about the ambiguous threats made by Claudia? How did he begin to tell Nadine what had happened without revealing the horrible thing his sister might have but almost definitely done?

“Johnny?”

“What?” He looked at her. “Sorry. I wasn’t thinking about how cold it’d be up here right now.”

“It’s fine. I’m used to it, but you’re sort of freaking me out. Did you have a run-in with Nikolas, too?”

“Nikolas?” Johnny echoed. He turned, his back to the city skyline, brow creased. “Wait, he’s back?”

“Yeah, and he knew about us. I mean, that we got married. Wasn’t really that happy about it. Apparently I’m a terrible person for what I’ve done to his sister.” She shook her head, looked away. “They never judge the man, do they? It’s always the woman.”

“No, they don’t,” Johnny said, thinking of all the abuse she’d taken since their marriage, and all the problems he could still bring to her. He rubbed his brow. “Did he say why he was back?”

“His mother, I think. It’s not—I mean, he said there was no change—for Lulu. That she’s the same as when they left.”

The air whooshed out of him all at once because he hadn’t considered, even let himself imagine that after all this time, there’d be no change at all. That Lulu, bright beautiful vibrant Lulu, would still be locked inside her own mind. He’d tried not to let himself think about Lulu at all, but now, to know— “Nothing at all? Not even a little?”

“No.” She was quiet for a beat. “I’m sorry. I know that’s the last thing you wanted to hear.”

Johnny sank onto the ledge of the hospital roof, staring at nothing. “Nothing at all,” he murmured. He’d tried hard not to think about Lulu these last few weeks. It didn’t seem fair to anyone involved, most of all Nadine who hadn’t done anything except be his friend. But now he realized somewhere in the back of his mind, he’d expected the news to be better. He’d almost wanted to fight with Lulu when she came home.

Because of course she’d come home. How could there be any other alternative?

“I didn’t get more details than that. I could ask Spinelli if he’s heard more—”

“No, it’s—it’s okay. Um—” He rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand, forced himself back into the moment. “It’s better this way. That I don’t know. I don’t have a right to know anymore.”

“Johnny.” Nadine sat next to him, her eyes kind. “Hey. I know we had that stupid fight, but that doesn’t mean I’m going back on what I said at the beginning. I know you love Lulu. I know this hurts.”

“I—” He grimaced, shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to know that. You probably think I’m a real asshole. The way things have been the last few weeks, me acting like she didn’t exist—”

“Do you think that I believed that? Johnny. Come on. We’re friends, aren’t we? I’d like to think we’ve managed that much. After everything we’ve been though, I hope you know you can be honest with me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Johnny said. He looked at her. “I never want to hurt you. You know that, don’t you?”

“I do,” she said, and he relaxed a little. “I know we don’t have all the answers. We’re taking this one step at a time, right? We had that fight, and well—” She wrinkled her nose. “We didn’t really resolve anything, I guess.”

No. He’d changed the subject, and they’d ended up in bed. “I guess not.”

“And I’m not trying to pick up the conversation where we left off, not really. I just want you to know you don’t have to hide how you feel about Lulu from me. You’ll probably always love Lulu just a little bit. Even if she never comes back from this—which I refuse to accept by the way—The way it ended—so abruptly—how could you feel any other way? What did you say in Vegas? You were right.  We’re not hurting anyone. Not really. No one whose opinions matter to us, right? We’re young, we like each other. And maybe we were a little bit lonely.”

“You don’t think you deserve better than that?”

“I think,” Nadine said carefully, “that I make my own choices, and if I had wanted things to be different, they would be. You didn’t seduce me, Johnny. You tempted me. There was a difference. And we both know you did that because you wanted to distract yourself from everything else.” Her smile was a bit crooked. “Right now, it’s working for us. When that stops, we’ll deal with it.”

“Yeah, I guess.” He blew out his breath.

“If you didn’t know about Nikolas, what brought you here?”

“Oh.” He frowned. “I, uh, I guess I just wanted to see you.” When she just looked at him, he shrugged but looked away. “I’m still getting used to these long shifts. I need to figure out something to do when you’re not at home.”

Home. It didn’t feel strange to hear him describe her—their—tiny apartment that way. She smiled. “We’ll talk about when I go off rotation this weekend.” Nadine slid off the ledge, then kissed his cheek. “I better get back to work. I’ll see you at home.”

Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
– What Hurts The Most, Rascal Flatts

---

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

 Port Charles Airport: Entrance Hall

“It’s about time,” Lucky grumbled when his brother finally joined him and Sam at the baggage claim. “What took so long?”

“I called the nanny in California,” Nikolas said with a roll of his eyes. “And if it bothered you to wait, you should have let me upgrade you to first class.”

“Believe me, I tried to convince him,” Sam muttered, folding her arms. She rolled her neck. “I haven’t flown economy in years.”

Lucky rolled his eyes. “We’re not arguing about this again. If we’d all wanted first class, we’d have to wait for another flight. I’ve already waited long enough to come back.”

“Easy for you to say, you had the aisle seat.” Sam rubbed her shoulder. “Are we getting a cab or—”

“I called a service,” Nikolas murmured, scanning the small group of drivers with placards in their hands. “There,” he said, nodding towards one with his last name scrawled in heavy black marker. “There’s the car.”

“Great.” Lucky lifted his duffel bag, slid the strap over his shoulder, then reached for Sam’s bag. “Did you call ahead, reserve rooms at the hotel? Or did you change your mind about opening up Wyndemere?”

“I decided not to make a reservation.” Nikolas took a deep breath. “I thought you’d be better off with the element of surprise.”

“He means if Nikolas made a reservation for two rooms, Carly would tell Jason in about ten seconds,” Sam offered with a smirk. “She can’t stay out of his business even if her life depended on it. And Jason would warn Liz, and they’d lawyer up—”

Lucky grimaced. “Yeah, okay, you’re right. Element of surprise is best. You’ll head over to Shadybrooke?” he asked Nikolas. “Start Mom’s paperwork?”

“Yeah. After you make contact with Elizabeth, I’ll call Bobbie. Are you starting with her or—”

“No. I’m gonna need a little backup, and I don’t think Aunt Bobbie is going to be interested in taking my side.” Lucky paused. “But I know exactly who I can count on.”

Kelly’s: Dining Room

Maxie snatched up the paper bag with the lunch she’d ordered and whirled around, prepared to dash back out and hurry back to the office.

Instead she ran into a solid mass—”Oof! Watch where you’re—” She blinked, looking up at the familiar face. “Oh. Nikolas. Where did you come from?”

Nikolas stepped back. “The airport. Where are you going in such a hurry?”

“Back to work—oh, but if you’re home, you must have—” Maxie faltered when she saw Nikolas look away. “Oh. Right. You…you said you’d be back in a few weeks for your mother. That’s why you’re here.”

“Among other things. A few loose threads to tie up.” Nikolas gestured to a table. “And since I ran into you, do you have a minute?”

“Kate will understand when I tell her I ran into you.” Maxie dropped into a chair. “How’s Lulu? Has there been any improvement?”

“No. The doctors—they’re considering the protocol Robin gave my mother a few years ago, hoping that it might have better results since the condition is newer but I don’t know—I don’t know if I can even have her back temporarily if it means I have to watch her slip away again.”

Maxie swallowed her protest. She didn’t understand that. How could you not want one more minute with your sister? How could you not do anything you could to bring her back, even just to say goodbye—

She plastered a smile on her face. “We’re saving a space for her. Her desk is there, and the job. Everything is just as she left it at Crimson, waiting for her to come back with terrible fashion sense. She’ll get better, Nikolas. She has to.”

“It’s hard to keep the hope alive,” Nikolas admitted, “but I appreciate everything you’re doing here. It’s just—well, I’m not entirely uninformed as to what’s been happening here in Port Charles. We’ve had some news from Bobbie, from Alexis. But I’m sure you’ll have your own perspective on what I’ve been told.”

Maxie bit her lip, picked at her cuticle. “What’s the subject? I’ve been at the penthouse, so I know Elizabeth and the kids are living there now like a happy family so if Lucky’s home for custody, he’ll have an uphill battle.”

“That’s—that’s one aspect of what I wanted to know. What he’ll want to know. But the other?” Nikolas leaned forward. “Nadine and Johnny. What do you know?”

Maxie opened her mouth, thought of that conversation with Johnny, her promise, and then thought of Lulu, sitting in a room, trapped in her mind, waiting to return to a world that had moved on without her.

A world that hadn’t waited more than a handful of days.

“Oh, I know plenty. How much time do you have?”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

Johnny pulled the door open, then scowled when he saw Claudia on the other side. “Oh, come on. I just told you—”

“The nurse is at work, right? You’re sure—”

“She has a name, and yes—” Johnny made a face when his sister walked right past him. “You’re not staying—”

“Just—” Claudia put up a hand. “Just give me—” She frowned, her dark eyes sweeping over the small space, then swung around to face him. “This is where you live? Really?”

“I’m not in the mood for this, Claudie—” He closed the door. “If you came to insult me or Nadine—”

“No. Not at all. Just—you get money from the trust every month. You can afford better—” Claudia narrowed her eyes. “She’s really not into the money? Not even a little bit?”

“I know that’s weird for you. But she’s not interested in anything she didn’t earn.” He went to the fridge and pulled out water. “You’ve got three minutes—”

“No.” Claudia pursed her lips, began to recalculate her opinion of the nurse. She had to play this just right, get Johnny on her side. To see that her side was his side. Jerry was right. The nurse was the key. “It was your idea to do this, wasn’t it? To get married. Not hers.”

Johnny twisted off the cap, took a long sip. Said nothing. She nodded, then wandered over to a metal shelving unit next to the television. It was packed with books, CDs, and other pieces of clutter. “You had to convince her, didn’t you? You suggested it, and she didn’t agree right away.”

He made a face, and she knew she was right. “What’s your point?” he wanted to know. “Did you come here to make fun of me?”

“No. No. Listen. When you told me you’d married Nadine Crowell, the mouthy blonde who’d been put in jail for contempt at your trial, I was worried. She seemed like the kind of white knight who believed in honor and doing right. So I figured you’d paid her off or something. Maybe promised to fund one of her causes. Or set her up in luxury if she kept her mouth shut. But you’re living in a place the size of a cardboard box, and she’s still working the same twelve hour shifts—”

“How do you know that?” Johnny demanded. “Are you having her watched?”

“Come on, John. You think Dad didn’t put a tail on you? On her?” Claudia slid her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket, tipped her head. “He knows everything. He knows Nadine goes to work in the same way she did before that day. That you guys go out and do things together. But what he will never understand is why you married her. She’s a witness. You pay them off, you make them disappear. But you don’t marry them.”

“Nadine wouldn’t—”

“She wouldn’t take the money, and you’re too soft for the other option.” She nodded. “So there’s a third reason. And that’s because you like her. You’re protecting her. Making sure Dad sees her as a team player. I just don’t understand why she’s protecting you. What is she getting out of this?”

“You don’t need to understand why. All you need to know is Nadine is off limits. End of story.”

“You know better, John. You need to make sure you know exactly what Nadine wants from you, because the second you can’t deliver, she’ll turn on you—”

“She won’t. She’s not like that,” Johnny snapped, and Claudia took a deep breath, looked away.

“I wish I could believe. I wish you could believe that, but it’s not a risk either of us can take. Not anymore.”

Johnny went still. “What are you talking about?”

General Hospital: Maternity Ward

Patrick paced nervously in front of the nurse’s station, glancing down the hall and then at the elevator every few minutes. In a room ten feet away, Robin was preparing to deliver their child inside a hospital that he realized he didn’t trust even a little bit.

It had been weeks since Elizabeth’s overdose, and she’d been the only confirmed case of sabotage, but Patrick couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d missed something. That Spinelli’s efforts wouldn’t protect them forever and they hadn’t done enough to find the culprits. Now, his world was centered on just two people — Robin and their daughter.

And Patrick knew he couldn’t put his faith in the system that he trusted for every other patient that walked through the door.

The elevator doors slid open, and Nadine stepped out, winding her stethoscope around her neck. “Patrick, hey, Epiphany said you needed me.” Her blue eyes swept the area before focusing on him. “I’m supposed to be in the ER today—”

“I reassigned you. You are the only nurse that I’m putting on Robin’s case.” He took her by the arm, steered her towards the room where Mac and Anna were already by Robin’s side. “Any medicine? You’re administering it. You’re double checking the epidural—”

“Whoa, Patrick—” Nadine stopped him before they went in. “That’s Andy’s job—”

“But you’ll be getting the meds from the dispensary.” His fingers gripped her upper arm. “You’ll double check and test them. Triple check them. Nothing goes in Robin or my child without you.”

Nadine searched his expression. “What’s going on?” she asked softly. “You’re terrified, and not just because you’re about to be a father. I thought you said they’d handled the problems with the machines—”

“We did, but—” Patrick stopped as Anna approached, forcing himself to smile. “Anna, you know Nadine.”

“I do.” Anna tipped her head. “Is everything all right? You look upset.”

“I’m—” He dragged a hand through his already disheveled dark hair. “I’m fine. I just, you know, jitters. We’ve been prepping for this day for months and now it’s here and there’s nothing I can do now.”

Anna squinted slightly, but then relaxed. “Well, I’d better step aside and let Nadine do her job.”

“I’ll give Robin a quick look over, and then page Andy to make sure he’s ready.” Nadine squeezed Patrick’s arm. “You can count on me, you know that.”

“Yeah, I know.”

Nadine slid past them both and went to Robin, a bright smile on her face. Anna turned back to Patrick. “Please don’t think you’ve fooled me, Patrick. Something is going on.”

“Nerves—”

“My daughter is the most precious person in the world to me, and she’s carrying my grandchild. Your child. I know you would do nothing to put her safety at risk. But if there’s something I should know, some way I can help—”

“There’s not.” Patrick took a deep breath. “We’d better get back inside.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

Johnny stared at her, his blood running cold. “What the hell are you talking about? What’s Dad planning?”

“Nothing—”

“Claudia—” He came forward, grabbed her elbow. “Damn it, tell me what he wants with Nadine!”

“Nothing! I swear! This isn’t like Lulu. Nadine’s not a wild card or an idiot. Dad would never admit it, but Nadine’s proved that she’s on your side. Getting arrested for contempt at the trial, sticking by you the last few weeks and not crumbling, and most of all, how she handled him the day you guys came up. He respects her—”

“The hell he does. What the hell is Dad planning?” Johnny demanded.

“It’s not him! He doesn’t like you being far away, but he knows you’re safe.” She licked her lips. “He’s not the problem. Do you think I’d be this worried if he was?”

Christ, no. She wasn’t just worried, she was terrified. “Hey. Hey. Claudia, whatever it is—” He started towards her.

“We’ll fix it?” she finished for him. “No. No one can come after either of us without pissing off our dear father. You’re the son, the cherished heir, and well, even if he can’t stand me, he wouldn’t be able to tolerate the disrespect. I told you, you’ve got nothing to worry about from Dad. Not this time.”

“Then what is it?”

Claudia looked away, grimaced. “Listen. You need to go to Jason. Tell him you want to work for him—”

“I don’t—”

“You do if you want to keep you and that nurse safe,” she cut in sharply, and he closed his mouth. “You go to work for Jason, and you wait for further orders.”

“Claudia, damn it, there’s no way in hell I’m doing that.” Johnny released her with disgust crawling at his throat. “I’m not turning against Jason. Not after everything he’s done for me. Whatever you’re involved in, you need to do it without me.”

“Do you think I want it this way? If I could get in with Jason myself, I’d do it, okay? But I can’t even seduce him.” She rolled her eyes, some of the fear in her eyes giving way to irritation. “He’s too hung up on his own nurse. What is it with you idiots and the health care profession—”

“Claudia.”

She made a face. “Look, if you’re not going to help me, then what happens next is on you.”

“What does that mean?” Johnny demanded. “What’s going to happen next? You said it yourself. No one’s coming after you or me—”

“Your protection doesn’t include Miss Mary Sunshine,” Claudia said and Johnny went still.  “They can use her. And they will. If you don’t go to work for Jason, Nadine’s the one on the chopping block.”

“Damn it, Claudia! Tell me what’s going on! Tell me what they have that has you so scared—”

“You know. You’ve always known it, deep down.” She looked at him for a long moment, waited for the truth to bloom in his expression. She saw it in the twitch of a muscle in his cheek, the way his fists clenched at his side. “I made a mistake. And if Dad finds out, I’ll be expendable. You know that. So I need to make sure no one ever finds out. Including Nadine. If she knew Johnny, would she protect me? Protect you?”

“No,” he managed. He looked away, swallowed hard. “No, she wouldn’t.” He dipped his head. “I’m not doing it, Claudia. You need to figure this out for yourself. You got yourself into trouble, and whatever you did, it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t, and I won’t let you make it mine. I’ve got something good here, and I won’t let this family ruin it.”

He stalked over to the door, yanked it open. “So go home and fix your problems yourself.”

Claudia stared at him for a long moment and nodded. “All right, baby brother. I’ll let you sit with this if you need to. But ask yourself—” She stopped on the threshold, looked back at him. “Where’s your wife right now? Are you sure she’s okay? Because you’d better get used to feeling that way. You won’t know a second of peace if you’re not with her.”

“Claudia—”

“Think it over. You’ll see that the only way for you to keep her safe is for us to work together.”

General Hospital: Hallway

“You know, just because he’s chief of staff, he thinks he’s special and can go around questioning everyone—”

Nadine sighed, and followed Andy Archer, the on-call anesthesiologist out of the drug locker. “Andy, that’s not what he’s doing. You know that. It’s his first kid. How many first dads have we dealt with? You know doctors and nurses make the worst patients. We know too much.”

Andy grimaced. “I can get my own meds—”

“I know. But Patrick feels better when all meds go through one person. Let’s just humor him, okay?” Even if Nadine didn’t understand why he was so focused on it, she’d back Patrick without blinking. He didn’t ask for much. “You know Patrick. He likes you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, okay, but you tell him that I don’t appreciate it,” Andy muttered. “Page me when she’s ready for her dose.”

“I will. Should be no more than ten minutes. Thanks, Andy. You’re the best.”

Nadine locked the dispensary door, then turned around, jumping when she found Nikolas right behind her. “Oh my God, you scared the crap out of me! When did you get back—” Her breath caught. “Oh, you’re back! Does that mean—”

“Does that mean my sister is awake and knows what you did?” he said.

Nadine closed her mouth, cleared her throat. “Does that mean Lulu is doing better?” she asked, but the pit was growing in her stomach. There was always another confrontation, always someone who wanted to judge her.

And today, oh, God, today it was Nikolas.

“No. For which you should be grateful. I can’t imagine what it’s going to do for Lulu to come out of this and realize the man she loved didn’t wait a week for her—what the hell, Nadine? What were you thinking? You married him?”

Nadine hesitated. “It’s not that simple—”

Nikolas wrapped his hand around her wrist, jerked it up so that he could see the ring on her left ring finger. “Looks that simple to me. What, I didn’t want you anymore, so you went for the next rich guy who’d have you—”

Nadine jerked her hand out of his grasp. “You didn’t want me,” she repeated. “Which means I don’t owe you any answers. And before you even try it, Lulu and I weren’t even close. I didn’t owe anyone anything.”

“There are words for women like you—”

“You should know. That’s how you got your son, isn’t it?” Nadine bit out. His nostrils flared, and she found it in her to keep going. To keep pushing. “Oh, it’s not so fun when the tables are turned on you, is it? You gotta a lot of nerve waltzing back here like you didn’t up and leave without a word—you didn’t want me, Nikolas. Something you didn’t bother to tell me. I didn’t even know whatever we had was over until you decided to leave. But you don’t like to end things, do you? You sure as hell didn’t bother to end things with your wife before sleeping with someone else’s!”

“You have no right to speak of Emily that way—”

“You have no right to speak to me this way. Or to Johnny. You shoved him out of your sister’s life. You shoved me out. And now you’re complaining because we moved on together? Make up your damn mind, Nikolas. Or you know what? No. You told me once it was exhausting to know me. Well, same goes, buddy. Stay away from me.”

She shoved him aside and stalked down the hallway, leaving him sputtering behind her.

Hardy House: Living Room

Audrey plumped another set of pillows, then smiled when she found a yellow Lego piece sticking up from between the cushions of the sofa. It was good to be home where finding clues to the existence of her great-grandchildren were lovely surprises, and not a constant state of being.

It had been a bittersweet parting that morning, leaving the three most important people in her life behind after living with them for a month, but Audrey had accomplished her goal. To look after her granddaughter, to care for the boys, and to gain a better understanding of the man Elizabeth had chosen.

Audrey crossed to the mantel where a photograph of Steve and Audrey on their wedding day sat, next to Elizabeth’s senior portrait from high school. “How proud you’d be of our Lizzie,” she murmured, touching her husband’s face. “She’s forged her own path, just as you always said she would, and she’s happier for it. I do wish you were here to see her.” Maybe Steve would have tempered Audrey’s worry, and she’d have supported Elizabeth long ago.

But Audrey had muddled about on her own, and while it had taken far too long, she felt sure that she’d made the correct choice.

The ringing of the doorbell drew Audrey from her contemplations, and she hurried to answer it, wondering if it was Bobbie or Felicia stopping by to welcome her home.

Instead, it was the very last person she’d expected or wanted to see. Standing on her front step was the man who’d walked out nearly five weeks earlier.

Audrey lifted her chin. “You have exactly thirty seconds to tell me why I should not simply close the door in your face, Lucky Spencer.”

I’m holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground
And I’m hearing what you say, but I just can’t make a sound
You tell me that you need me then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you’re sorry, didn’t think I’d turn around, and say (that)
It’s too late to apologize (it’s too late)
I said, It’s too late to apologize (it’s too late)
– Apologize, OneRepublic

---

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Crimson: Lobby

Kate stepped off the elevator, hesitating when she spied Carly standing near Lulu’s empty desk. The other woman was looking at a photo Lulu had left there — Lulu with her mother. “Carly?”

“Kate. Hey.” Carly set the photo down, slid her fingers over the desk. “You still…you didn’t pack up her things?”

“No. I suppose I still…” Kate slid her sunglasses into the case in her hand. “I want it to be here when she comes home. I don’t want her to think any of us gave up hope. Have you heard something?”

“No. No, unless something has changed since my mother spoke to Lucky last week.” Carly looked at her. “I didn’t come about Lulu, but I—I’m glad her things are here. That she has a place to come back to. She’ll get better. She has to. She’s too young, too strong.” She took a deep breath. “I’m here about Sonny.”

Kate carefully set her purse on Maxie’s desk, folded her arms to hide how her hands were shaking. “About Sonny.”

“I know we don’t…that we didn’t always get along. And most of it’s my fault.” Carly closed her eyes. “It usually is. And I should have…I don’t know…kept you in the loop better on his care the last month. But I know you were in recovery, and maybe I was just in denial. Hoping for a miracle.”

“He came to the hospital to see me that last day.” Kate’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “Olivia turned him away. It keeps me up at night, Carly, wondering what if he’d made it upstairs. Maybe I could have…maybe it would all be different.”

“I—” Carly looked down at her hands, twisted the ring on her finger. “I know. Jax—he told me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry—He did this because of me—”

“He did it because he could,” Kate interrupted, and Carly looked up.  “You and Sonny did what you did, and Jax had every right to handle his relationship with you how he saw fit. But I also had that right, and Jax knew what I had chosen. He ignored my wishes. I’ll never be able to forgive him for that.” She took a deep breath, then flicked away the tear that had slid past her lashes. “I don’t imagine you’re here to commiserate about Jax. Has—” She pressed her fist just above her belly, seeming to brace herself. “Has Sonny’s prognosis changed?”

“No. No. He’s still in the same stable, but…comatose condition. The hospital is asking me about long-term care. They could keep supporting him there. He wouldn’t even be their only long-term patient,” she added. “But they’re not really equipped for the round of clock care he’d need, and he should have the best. If there’s ever going to be any hope—anyway.” Carly cleared her throat. “I talked to Jason, and we—I thought Silver Water was the best plan. He’d be with Michael.”

“Sonny spoke highly of the place when he told me about it. Of course he never thought—” Kate’s voice faltered, and she paused, gathered herself. “Thank you. For telling me.”

“I’ll let you know when the arrangements have been made. If you—I mean, you can—not that I’m giving you permission. We both know that it should be you making these arrangements. I mean, it’s supposed to be Jason, but I just—I’ll tell you when.”

“I appreciate that, Carly. Really. None of this has been easy. The last six months, since that terrible day, maybe even before that—I think we’ve all done the best we could have.”

“Maybe. I hope so. I want that to be the truth. Um, Morgan. He asks about you sometimes. He doesn’t really understand where everyone’s gone. Emily. His brother. His father.” Carly looked away, barely managed to force out the next word. “Jax.”

“Carly—”

“He’s lost so many people. If you ever—I don’t know. I just thought you should know. You mattered to Morgan. To Michael. To Sonny. He really loved you. I’m sorry that I—I’m sorry that anything I did—that it made anything harder.”

“It’s all right, Carly—”

“It’s not but thank you for saying otherwise.”

They both looked towards the elevator when the doors slid open and Jax stepped out. He looked back and forth between the two women. “Ah, Carly. I wasn’t expecting you here—”

“I hope you weren’t looking for me,” Kate said, lifting her chin. “I said all I wanted in the hospital.”

“Kate—” But by the time Jax reached her, she’d gone into her office closing the door in his face.

He grimaced, looked back to find Carly watching him. “I suppose that makes you happy.”

Carly pressed her lips together, looked towards the elevator, then back at him. “Kate wasn’t thrilled about you keeping Sonny away from her. Good for her.”

“I had every right—”

“Do you think it makes it any better that you were right about Sonny?” Carly demanded. “That being around him, letting him in our lives in any way was only going to make things worse? Do you think that makes what you did okay?”

“I just—”

Carly headed for the elevators. “Brenda chose Sonny a lifetime ago, and you’ve never forgiven the rest of the female species for it—”

“You slept with him five months ago!” Jax reminded her, a flush rising in his cheeks. “You want to blame Brenda for all of this—”

“No. I just—” The righteousness faded from her expression, and her voice. She lifted her hand to her temple, rubbing. “I don’t. I don’t want to argue with you, Jax. I did a horrible thing. And you took that anger and used it to punish Kate for not listening to you, too. You got what you wanted, Jax. A world without Sonny. I hope it was worth it. I hope blaming me for Michael, for the miscarriage—”

Jolted, Jax’s eyes widened. “I don’t blame you for that—”

“Don’t you?” She stepped onto the car, and the doors closed on his distraught face.

Nadine’s Apartment: Kitchen

Not long after the shower had switched off, Nadine emerged from the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her torso, the ends tucked in at her breasts. She had her head to the side, towel drying her damp hair, and nearly missed Johnny standing right in front of her, a mug of coffee extended towards her.

“You’re—” She flicked cautious eyes at him. She tossed the hair towel in the hamper still visible through the open bathroom door, then reached for the coffee mug. “Up early.”

“I wanted to catch you before you left for work.” Johnny stepped back, grimacing when she edged away, backing towards the bedroom door. “And it’s almost ten—”

“Early for you,” she said, bringing the coffee to her lips. “Is everything okay—”

“I talked to Maxie. She’s going to leave us alone.”

Nadine furrowed her brow. “What?”

“Last night. I ran into her at Eli’s, and I thought about what you said. About not wanting to have issues with her because she’s—” He scratched the back of his neck, uncomfortable. “She’s not entirely wrong.”

Nadine’s lips parted, and she set the coffee on the counter, tugging the towel closer to her body. “I didn’t—I wasn’t expecting—”

“You made some good points the other day.” He leaned back against the counter, crossing his feet at the ankles, his arms folded, and his eyes trained on the floor. “And maybe I don’t think enough about what you’re dealing with at work. You don’t say much, and I thought maybe it was getting better.”

“It’s not your problem—”

He lifted his eyes to find her looking at him, red staining her cheeks. “It’s my problem because we’re supposed to be in this together. And maybe we’re not doing enough to think about next week. Or next month. You’re right. We don’t exactly have an exit strategy.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it, biting down. “Is that what you want to do? Come up with an exit plan? I don’t blame you. The PCPD hasn’t done much since they arrested you, so you’re good there, and your dad’s been quiet—”

“I was thinking maybe we don’t worry so much about the exit part of this.”

Nadine broke off her ramble, blinked at him. “What does that mean?”

“You said this is as complicated as we want it to be. I didn’t know what to say to you,” Johnny admitted. “Mostly because I didn’t think about it that way. We kind of got most of the bad stuff out of the way right away. My dad, the PCPD, Jason—and the last few weeks, it’s just been—” He made a face. “I don’t know. Whatever passes for normal. I was thinking about getting a job or finding something to do all day when you’re at work. Or something. But I wasn’t thinking about what happens when this is over. But if you need to have that in your head—”

“Just—just wait—” Nadine held up a hand and he closed his mouth. “I don’t understand what we’re doing here. I haven’t really understood any of this since that morning in Vegas when I lost my damn mind, or—”

“Any of the nights since?” Johnny prompted, straightening, the corners of his mouth twitching. “I could explain it, but you’d just get mad at me again—”

“It’s all just this giant mess, Johnny. And—” When her voice faltered, the humor he’d feeling faded. She sighed. “I don’t know how to fix it without screwing up my life even worse. I still—no, I know we made the right choice. To do whatever we could to stop the violence. I—” She met his eyes. “I went to see Jason. The morning you got arrested, and I looked at him, and I thought he’s helping us even though Sonny’s supposed to be his best friend. Because Jason knows you didn’t want to hurt anyone, and he just wants to keep his family safe. I realized I could help. That keeping you out of jail might keep your dad from going crazy again—I’ve never regretted that I decided to help you. To keep what I saw that day to myself.”

“Oh.” Johnny cleared his throat. “Oh. Well, that’s good—”

“It’s just hard because doing the right thing meant taking a jackhammer to everything else I’d built,” Nadine continued, and he grimaced again. “You know, Lu and Maxie and Spinelli — I liked them. And Regina and Leyla were my friends at work. And you were just someone I knew because of other people. And now none of that’s true anymore. I go to work, and Leyla thinks I’m gold-digging white trash, and it shouldn’t hurt because it’s not true, but it does. And Maxie thinks I’m a home wrecking slut—”

“She’s angry at the situation, and lashing out—”

“Johnny. We’re right back where we started. Because what are we doing?” she asked again. “We slept together. Repeatedly. And I think maybe you’re trying to fix things because you want things to go back to how they were a few days ago.”

Johnny rubbed his chest, made a face. “And that’s a bad thing?”

“No. Yes. No.” She closed her eyes, the damp strands of her hair falling around her face. She gripped the ends of the towel more tightly. “I’m just tired of starting over. I came here because Aunt Rayleen was gone, and I needed something different. I thought I’d try to do some good, balance the scales here. But all I’ve done since I got here is make everything worse.”

“That is not true.” Johnny came forward, shaking his head. He laid his hands on her shoulders, stroking down to her elbow, then back up again. “It’s not. And no one thinks that. No one who matters anyway. Spinelli doesn’t. Nikolas is alive because you nagged him into getting treated. I’m not in jail because of you. I’m a pretty big fan of that part. And—” He curled a finger beneath her chin, lifted it so that their eyes met. “It’s not a crime to like each other, Nadine. We’re not hurting anyone.”

“Lulu—”

He shook his head. “She’s not part of this. She can’t be. If that day on the pier didn’t happen, maybe things would be different. Maybe I’d still be trying to get through to Nikolas, I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it—I don’t. But I understand if she’s the reason you don’t want to keep things the way they were going. I can respect that.” He stepped back.

“It really should bother me,” she said, then dragged a hand down her face. “It should. But you never pretended any differently. I’ve never resented you or her — it’s such an awful situation,” she murmured. “So terrible for her family, for everyone who loves her. And it’s awful, but I have to be practical, Johnny. If she gets better and comes home—how do we explain this? And where exactly does that leave me?”

“If—if she gets better,” Johnny said, “it really wouldn’t change anything. Because I don’t get to change my last name. I don’t get to stop carrying around the baggage that is my family. Dad, Trevor, Claudia—they’re not going anywhere.” He waited a beat. “I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep, Nadine. It wouldn’t be fair to you. So like I said, if you need us to take a permanent step back, then we can do that. The sofa’s not too bad—”

“I just wish I knew what you were asking me. I wish you knew. Because if it’s just sex—”

“It’s not,” Johnny said immediately, and she just wrinkled her nose. “And if it was just that, I’d be laying it on a lot thicker to get back in that room. I could do that.”

Nadine rolled her eyes. “Oh, sure. Okay, Casanova.” She started past him, towards the bedroom, but he got there first, blocking her. When she scowled, he reached for the edge of her towel, tugging her gently so that their chests brushed.

“You’ve been standing here in your towel for almost twenty minutes, water sliding down—” Johnny followed the trail of one of those droplets, sliding his finger from the curve of her jaw down her collarbone, to the top of her breasts. “If it were just about sex, Nadine,” he murmured, his breath hot against her neck as he dipped his head down. “You and I both know that towel would be long gone.”

“It’s a little bit about sex, or you wouldn’t be doing this little demonstration right now,” Nadine said, pushing lightly on his chest so that he’d give her some breathing room. But she looked up and their eyes met again. She licked her lips. “And you being good in bed doesn’t even factor into this. We don’t need to keep complicating this situation.”

“You’re right. So—” Johnny reached down, found the knob and twisted it, so that the door opened at his back. He moved to the side. “Like I said, I’m not looking to talk you into something you don’t want.”

“You’re not talking me into anything.”

“Nope. I made my case, and the ball’s in your court.”

“Good. So that we understand each other.” Nadine stopped at the threshold, leaning against the opposite door jamb, her fingers still holding onto the towel. “Because I don’t want you to take credit for this.”

Johnny frowned. “Credit for—” But then she dropped the towel, fisted her hands in his shirt and pulled him into the room. “Oh, so we’re done talking?”

“We’re done talking.”

PCPD: Commissioner’s Office

Anna gripped the back of the visitor’s chair. “There’s something going on at the hospital, I’m convinced of it.”

Mac rifled through a filing cabinet, only half listening to his former sister-in-law. “I know Patrick’s had a lot of mess to clean up since the last chief of staff died.”

“And legal issues from a killer nurse,” Anna added. “All of that is interesting, but I’m talking about Jason Morgan.”

Mac frowned, looked at Anna with more interest. “Jason’s only connection these days is Elizabeth, and I don’t even think she’s back at work yet—”

“What about this accident after the wedding? You told me that Morgan was up to something on the day of Sonny’s shooting. That he was unavailable. I had a source get me Elizabeth’s records—”

Mac slammed the drawer shut, grim now. “I’m not listening to anything the WSB got from GH illegally, Anna, I’ve told you that.”

“But Elizabeth really did suffer a nearly fatal consequence that morning,” Anna insisted. “And yet she’s discharged the same day? You must know that doesn’t add up—”

“No, of course not.” Mac dropped a file on his desk. “But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. Jason was moving everyone into the Towers, and he’s got the connections to get pretty much anything he needs to handle Elizabeth’s care. Audrey Hardy moved in, Anna. Do you really think Audrey of all people would be involved with anything that would put her family at risk?”

“No, I must admit Audrey’s blessing has stumped me,” Anna said. She made a face, considering her thoughts. “I’ve told you that Karpov is in pharmaceuticals — he gets contracts with hospital in port cities to facilitate his smuggling. We had no notion he was in Port Charles until the DEA seized his cargo ship. You weren’t suspicious when that happened on the heels of all these shootings?”

Mac dragged a hand down his face. “No, because I’m an idiot, Anna, who can’t tie his own shoelaces.”

“I didn’t—”

“Anyone with two brain cells can see what happened. Karpov goes after Sonny, gets Kate instead. Sonny blames Johnny Zacchara immediately, which we know since Sonny got arrested that day going after the kid at the hospital. Jason leaves Sonny in lock up overnight so he’ll cool down and so Jason can concentrate on an unrelated accident that put Elizabeth in surgery—”

“Are you sure it’s unrelated?”

“Yes,” Mac retorted. “Elizabeth’s ex took off the same day, dumping her two kids on Audrey. Jason moved everyone into the Towers, Elizabeth had her complication, and as soon as she could travel she was discharged from GH. And I’m willing to bet that there’s an AMA form in her file, isn’t there?”

Anna pressed her lips together. “Yes,” she said tightly. “She was discharged against medical advice. But surely that was to cover Patrick and the hospital for liability. I’m telling you, Mac, something is terribly wrong at GH. Elizabeth’s complication does not make sense! Internal bleeding so many days after her accident? She would have bled out. And the toxicology—”

Mac held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear about one more thing you got illegally from the hospital, Anna. You get to color outside the lines, I don’t. Scott tanked that case against Johnny, made everything worse for Maxie, for Lulu and he did that because he blackmailed Floyd into naming him special prosecutor on his own son’s murder. I told you I’d work with you, I’d share information that was legally obtained, but I’m not interested in anything else.”

“Mac—”

“You bring me real evidence that something is going on at the hospital, something illegal, then fine. We can deal with that. But right now, Patrick Drake isn’t just a doctor at the hospital, he’s not just chief of staff. He’s your future son-in-law. Robin is happy, Anna. She thinks you’re here for her.”

Anna scowled. “I am.”

“Then be here for her. Stop digging into her friends, into her family. Robin’s pregnant, not stupid. She’ll figure it out eventually.”

“You act as if I’m undercover with my own daughter. I’ve missed so much time with her, Mac. Is it so wrong that I’ve wanted to learn more about her and the people who matter?” Anna demanded. “It’s just that she’s told me things that concern me. My grandchild will be born in that hospital, Mac. Have you given any consideration to that? If something is wrong—”

“If you’re right, then it sounds like Patrick is aware of it and will take precautions,” Mac said dryly, and Anna glared at him. “You’ve always been good at manipulating people into feeling guilty, Anna. Glad to see you haven’t lost your touch. Now, if you don’t mind, I have real cases to investigate.”

Crimson Offices: Lobby

 Maxie deliberately turned her back on Lulu’s empty desk, forcing a smile on her face when Spinelli stepped off the elevator, his expression hesitant. “You came. Good. I thought maybe you were still mad at me.”

“The Jackal always heeds a summons from Maximista,” Spinelli said, but the words didn’t sound as natural as they used to. Almost rehearsed. Rote.

“I, um, I’m going to do something I never do, okay? So you need to stand there and let me say it, and then we’ll never think of it again.”

Spinelli frowned, and reached up to draw off his beanie cap, holding it in both hands. “Okay, but—”

“I’m sorry. About that scene at your place yesterday. About what I said to Elizabeth. And about Nadine.” Maxie folded her arms. “I, um, I shouldn’t be saying things like that where you live. Jason’s your family, and he picked her, even though I don’t understand it. It’s just—” She stopped, scratched her temple. “I don’t want to keep blaming something else I don’t want to be that girl who uses her dead sister, dead boyfriends, and parental neglect as an excuse. I just—” She looked at him. “I’m sorry. You’ve been too good to me to deserve me putting you in the middle of people you live with. Jason’s your family,” she repeated. “And Elizabeth is part of that package.”

Spinelli squinted, then shook his head slowly. “We can agree not to speak of it again, but it will not change things. You’re not welcome at the penthouse.”

Maxie pressed her lips together, fighting the urge to scream. “Of course she probably couldn’t wait to forbid it—”

“The Fair Elizabeth made the point that it’s her home. But it’s also Little Dude’s abode. And Stone Cold Junior. She’s never been anything but kind to me. And I also—” He stopped. “Forget it. We’ll just leave it where it is—”

“No. No, we’re being honest here. Finish it.” She lifted her chin. “I can take it.”

“The Jackal was not present when Maximista and Detective Dingus—I wasn’t here. So I don’t know what happened. But I know that he was married.” Spinelli’s eyes found hers. “And that you knew that. That there was no affair with Stone Cold. Not until she learned of the betrayal.”

Maxie’s lips trembled. “So you think she’s right. I’m a homewrecking slut—”

“The Jackal would appreciate if Maximista did not put words in his mouth,” Spinelli said. “The characterization is beyond my power to grant. But there are facts, yes? Timelines? You know them now. Even if you didn’t know them then. And perhaps I can’t say for sure, but I suspect the Fair Elizabeth did little to deserve the way you treated her—beyond being married to the man you wanted.”

Maxie closed her eyes. “Spinelli—”

“I know you’re ashamed of the things you did then. You’ve told me so, and I believe you,” Spinelli told her. “I know that it’s easier for you to lash out, to put your anger somewhere so that you can ignore how hurt you are. I know that,” he repeated. “And I can look past it. I can take the time and see who you are underneath. But it’s not a requirement that everyone does the same. So until Fair Elizabeth says differently, you won’t be welcomed back.”

“Fine. Fine. I don’t even want to go there anyway,” she muttered. She sniffed, then went back to her desk. “Well, thank you for coming by. Glad we could get that sorted.”

She wanted him to argue, to apologize for not leaping to her defense, but instead she heard the squeak of his shoes as he headed for the elevators.

He’d left without another word.

Maxie sat at the desk, staring blindly at the photo of herself and Georgie, the last photograph they’d ever taken together the night of the Black & White Ball, then put her head down and wept.

Elm Street Pier

Claudia rolled her eyes and sat next to her brother on the bench. “I don’t know why we couldn’t have met in a more civilized place. What, does little Mary Sunshine not let you have any guests?”

Johnny shook his head. “It’s nothing personal, Claudia. I just—” Didn’t want a single member of his family inside of Nadine’s home. Not when things were going so well. Nadine had left for work after their morning together, and he wasn’t going to tempt fate. He wanted to keep Nadine away from his family. “Maybe next time. But this isn’t a social call. You made that clear on the phone.”

“It’s not exactly business either—all right, fine. Our esteemed father has sent me on a mission to check on you, though I think we both know he doesn’t handle it well when you’re not in his sight. Especially these days.” Claudia looked out over the blue-gray waters of the lake. “I know Daddy hasn’t exactly been the picture of perfect mental health over the years, but we had a good stretch there, didn’t we? You went to college, I was living in Italy. And Trevor wasn’t sitting on the sidelines, licking his chops to get his hands on the power.”

“Yeah. I know. What changed?” Johnny asked. “All I know is I came home from grad school two years ago and he’d just—” He shook his head. “The stroke, you think?”

“Yeah. Maybe. I kept thinking he’d bounce back, you know. Get himself together. But he was always paranoid. Always waiting for someone to go after him. And Trevor fed on that,” Claudia murmured. “I should have come home. Been with him. I was never his favorite, but I could have done more.”

“I tried to get away from him. Disappeared. He went over the edge last year, Claudie, and I don’t think we’re getting him back. Not all the way.”

“Probably not.” Claudia hesitated. “We’d be better off if you ditched the nurse and came home to Crimson Pointe. No one’s investigating this shooting, John. It’s cold. Dead. Not saying you need to file papers, but if you could just come back to the estate, Daddy could relax. And maybe if you were, I don’t know, we could figure out how to get rid of Trev. We could—”

“Live happily ever after? That ship sailed, and you know that. And besides, I’m okay up here—”

“Really?” Claudia asked dubiously. “Up here? In the sticks? What do you even do all day?”

Johnny rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t understand—”

“Ha! I knew it! You’re bored to tears—”

“That’s not what I said, and don’t put words in my mouth. At least here, I’m not looking over my shoulder. Not anymore. I didn’t—” Johnny pressed his lips together. “I didn’t plan it this way, but Jason’s in charge now. And he knows I want out.”

“He knows what happened, doesn’t he? He’s protecting you.”

Johnny tipped his head slightly to confirm it, and Claudia exhaled on a long sigh, looking back towards Spoon Island. “That’s interesting,” she murmured. “He must really want peace. He’s got a nurse of his own, doesn’t he?”

“Claudia—”

“Oh, chill. I’m not looking for intel. Just trying to understand the lay of the land.” She bit her lip. “But he does. The nurse and those kids of hers. That’s why he let you live. He wants them to be safe. Let me tell Dad. If he knew Jason was protecting you—”

“I don’t know if Dad had anything to do with what happened to Kate, so the last thing I want is to tell him anything about Jason. This is separate. A deal I made just with him to keep Nadine safe. You know what Dad would do if he thought there was a real witness against me.”

Claudia wrinkled her nose. “Why do you think we’re involved with that stick’s shooting—”

“I didn’t say you were, I said Dad. I don’t know if you’d go anywhere near all of that,” Johnny said. “After…last spring.” Which was the closest he’d ever come to mentioning Michael Corinthos’s tragic shooting.

She looked away, vaguely uncomfortable with the turn in the conversation. “But you think Dad might.”

“I think Dad likes chaos, and Trevor wouldn’t stop him. If he even knew.”

“Dad shooting Kate Howard just to see what happens.” He could see his sister testing that out in her head, and then she nodded. “Yeah, I buy that. I’ll keep my ears open, but you need to come down once and while to keep Dad happy. Bring the nurse. She amuses him.”

“Yeah, fine. I have to get going. I’ll call you.”

Claudia watched her brother leave, waited until he’d climbed the stairs and had disappeared around the corner. Then she turned around—only to see Jerry Jacks sauntering down a second pair of stairs.

He paused at the bottom, then strolled towards her. “Well, that was quite an interesting conversation—”

“Don’t even bother. I’ve tried to eavesdrop from that exact same spot,” Claudia interrupted. “You can’t hear a damn thing over the water. So instead of pretending to guess what we were talking about, just tell me what you want.”

“Fair enough. I didn’t hear the details, but I imagine you were discussing your brother’s hasty marriage. It doesn’t take a genius to realize he married a witness.” Jerry cocked his head. “Nadine Crowell. She’s that chippy little blonde who made the scene at the trial, wasn’t she? Quite amusing, her dedication to the truth. When I heard she’d married Johnny Zacchara, I thought—” He tapped his chin. “I thought, well, why would a girl like that marry a man who shot someone else in the head? Because she believes in the boy, of course. Self-defense, likely.”

Claudia stifled a yawn. “Are you going to get to the point?”

“How protective would she be of your brother if she knew what kind of family he was in? What kind of secrets he kept?” Jerry leaned in. “I have it on good authority that our nurse counted tragic little Michael Corinthos among her patients. Do you think she’d protect your brother if she even suspected he was protecting that boy’s killer?”

Claudia went very still. “Michael isn’t dead.”

“Do you think the nurse will care?” Jerry just smiled. “I wonder how quickly she’d run to the PCPD to turn him in. Or you.”

Claudia wasn’t pretending to be bored anymore. “What do you want?”

Coffee House: Jason’s Office

Jason reluctantly scrawled his name on the bottom of the page, then slid it over to Diane. “Carly and I haven’t made any decisions about Greystone.”

Diane filed the papers in her briefcase. “You could always move your brood there—it’s merely a suggestion, Jason, you needn’t get that look on your face,” she added with a sniff.

“We’re happy where we are. The Towers have what we need for security in an emergency, and the house is in a good neighborhood. Elizabeth likes the schools—”

“It’s ultimately up to you, of course,” Diane said with a shrug. “You could rent out Greystone, leave it in trust for Morgan and Kristina and let them discuss. That property will only become more valuable.”

“Like I said,” Jason said, getting to his feet. “We haven’t made any decisions.”

The door opened then, and Cody stepped in. “Spinelli’s here if you’re done with Miss Miller. And I’m gonna head over to the warehouse if you need anything.”

“Yeah, sure.” Jason looked at Diane. “Anything else?”

“Nothing you’re interested in.” Diane reached for her jacket. “Always a pleasure. Spinelli,” she greeted with a nod, passing the tech.

“The Jackal hates to interrupt—” Spinelli made a face, fiddled with the strap of the laptop bag laying across his chest. “About the argument yesterday with Fair Elizabeth and Maximista—”

“If you’re coming to plead Maxie’s case, Spinelli, it’s not happening.” Jason crossed the office, picked up his jacket, then turned to face the tech. “Look, the penthouse is your home, too, and Elizabeth didn’t say a word when Maxie came to her party. I don’t know exactly what happened, but—”

“Maximista is unhappy about the Sceptic Son and Noble Nurse Nadine,” Spinelli said in a rush. “She sees it as a betrayal of…” His throat worked hard, and he looked away. “She was venting her displeasure, and the Fair Elizabeth…she took exception. As she should. The Jackal is most uncomfortable by all of it. But—”

“You weren’t around when Elizabeth and Lucky’s marriage fell apart the first time,” Jason said slowly. “You don’t know what happened or how Maxie or everyone around Elizabeth treated her as if it was her fault. The drugs, the affair — they blamed Elizabeth.”

Spinelli pressed his lips together. “I can only imagine how painful that must have been for her,” he said, and Jason frowned. It was uncharacteristic of Spinelli to speak so directly and plainly. “And I’m not here to ask that the ban be lifted. On the contrary — I agree that it would be for the best if Maximista limited her exposure to the Fair Elizabeth. She…she is not handling the Blonde One’s fate very well. The Jackal worries.”

Jason exhaled slowly, then nodded. “I’m sorry Maxie is struggling with what happened to Lulu. It’s not easy for anyone, and I can see how Johnny and Nadine’s marriage would have made that more difficult. I’m glad we’re on the same page. After Elizabeth and I move the boys to the house, you’re welcome to stay in the penthouse and Maxie will have free reign again.”

Spinelli smiled slightly. “The Jackal will miss Little Dude and the Sequel when they go. They have superior taste in cartoons.”

Patrick’s Condo: Living Room

Patrick sifted through another set of minutes from the most recent board meeting, clenching his jaw when he reviewed notes on another budget request for upgrading equipment — denied. Just like the request to budget for more nurses—

He was drowning—the hospital was drowning—and if he didn’t get an infusion of cash soon, he’d find it difficult to recruit another crop of medical students—

“Uh, Patrick?”

“What?” he asked, almost absently, scribbling in the margins of the denial. “Is it time for lunch?”

“No. But it’s time for something else.”

He frowned, looked over to see Robin by the door, the handle of a duffel bag looped over her wrist. Patrick lunged to his feet. “It’s time?”

“It’s time.” She smiled tremulously. “Contractions are—” She winced. “Lasting one minute each, five minutes apart. And I just hit two hours.”

“What the hell? Why didn’t you tell me?” he demanded, yanking the bag from her hand and snatching his keys from the table.

“Because you’re insane, so it was easier to wait.” She grimaced, reached for his hand. “But now we’re going to have a baby, so yell at me later.”

And now here I stand with these blood soaked hands
On this sleepless night, that never ends
And these songs I sing
With these hopes that I cling to
Desperately wondering
Are we finally getting to something new?
– Something New, Airborne Toxic Event

---

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Maxie yelped, then jumped back. “What the hell was that?”

Spinelli, not paying all that much attention to her, just grunted from his position on the sofa, hunched over his laptop. “What was what?”

Maxie leaned down, snatched something from the ground. “This!”

He glanced over, then squinted. “One of the Little Dude’s army guys. Gotta watch where you walk, Maximista. Little bit of a minefield these days—”

“Ugh—” Maxie dropped the plastic figurine onto the coffee table. “Didn’t we spend, like, half a day putting together a perfectly good bedroom and play area for those little urchins? Why do they have to infest the entire penthouse?”

Spinelli winced. “You can’t be talking that way,” he said, glancing over his shoulder towards the doorway almost as if he expected Elizabeth or her grandmother to burst in. Fortunately for Maxie, they’d taken Jake to the park for a few hours, otherwise he never would have let Maxie upstairs.

“I can do whatever I want especially since Elizabeth literally chased Lucky and Sam right out of the entire state. Not that I care about Lucky, but you know, he never even gets to see his sons—” She shook her head. “Never mind. Whatever. That’s not why I came over. Has that slutty nurse said anything to you?”

He closed his laptop, tucked it under his arm as he stood. “The Jackal requires another liter of orange soda.”

“Don’t change the subject. I wanna know what Nadine’s said about Saturday. I’m sure she’s trying to turn you against me and I—”

“She doesn’t talk about you at all—”

“Bullshit. That asshole humiliated me—”

Spinelli opened his mouth, but then shook his head. “The Jackal would very much like to change the subject—”

“Why? Don’t you get that she seduced Johnny right out from under Lulu’s nose, and she turned him against me—we were friends, okay? United front, and now we hate each other—”

“That is not what happened—”

“She saw her chance to get Johnny, and she went after him. She didn’t even wait for Lulu to be adjusted to the time change—there’s a word for women who go after other girl’s men, and it’s—”

“Maxie Jones?”

Maxie whirled around, her eyes almost comically wide when she saw Elizabeth standing in the partially open doorway. Spinelli grimaced — they’d been so loud he hadn’t heard the key in the lock. “Excuse me?” Maxie demanded, whirling around.

Elizabeth closed the door, tossed her keys on the desk. “You heard me, Maxie. If you’re going to stand in my home and talk about homewrecking sluts, let’s start with you—”

“Oh, you’ve got a lot of nerve!” Maxie retorted. “This was Sam’s home first!”

Elizabeth arched a brow. “If you’re going to throw insults, try not to sound pathetic. Sam’s been gone from here a long time. But Lucky? He was still my husband when you stole pills for him, don’t you remember?”

“I—” Maxie pressed her lips together. “You were sleeping with Patrick—”

“You know that’s not true. You’ve been told repeatedly that’s not true by everyone involved, including Lucky. But you need it to be, don’t you?” Elizabeth sauntered towards her, smirking. “Because that’s how you justify sleeping with my husband—”

“Are you going to let her talk to me this way?” Maxie said, turning to Spinelli. “You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“The Jackal would very much like to be excluded from this narrative,” Spinelli said.

Maxie narrowed her eyes. “Coward,” she hissed, then focused back on Elizabeth. “I’m sorry, but which one of us had to have a paternity test? Because that was you—”

“Which one of us faked a pregnancy and a miscarriage to keep a man interested?” Elizabeth interrupted, and Maxie’s face went white. “Yeah, you think you’re all grown up and mature with your big important job, but you haven’t learned a damn thing from getting in the middle of adult business, have you?”

“You never deserved Lucky! He loved you!”

“You’re right, Maxie. I never deserved Lucky. You did.” Elizabeth picked up Maxie’s purse, went to the door, and tossed it into the hall. “Why don’t you go find your next victim?”

“How dare you—”

“You’re getting out and you’re not coming back as long as I live here. Now. Or I’ll call security.”

“Spinelli—” Maxie saw Spinelli’s eyes on the floor, and her cheeks heated. “Fine. Fine. I’m leaving.”

She lifted her chin and stalked out, her indignant exit ruined when she had to stoop to retrieve her clutch and the items that had spilled out of it. Elizabeth slammed the door.

“I’m sorry, Fair Elizabeth,” Spinelli said. “I did not think you’d be back so soon. I wouldn’t—”

“You can have whatever relationship with Maxie you want, Spinelli. But she’s not welcome here as long as my kids are living here. I understand that this is your home—”

“No, it’s good. The Jackal, uh, doesn’t enjoy having to defend the Noble Nurse Nadine all the time. I can’t tell her what happened, but I know it’s not what Maxie thinks. And she’s too mad to think clearly about any of it.” He cleared his throat. “But she won’t darken the door again.”

“Good. And Maxie should just count herself lucky that I left Jake with my grandmother and Bobbie for a few hours. I don’t want my boys around her.”

“Understood.”

General Hospital: Nurse’s Station

Nadine stepped behind the counter, sighing as she flipped through a copy of the new schedule. “Is there any chance we’ll ever be fully staffed again?”

“Not under this board,” Epiphany muttered. She glanced over at her. “Why? You got a complaint?”

“No. No. I just…I wish I’d stayed in peds, but I heard those nurses are floating now, too.” She folded the schedule and put it behind the counter. “Is anyone actually getting to stay where they’re trained?”

“We’d need to hire at least twenty more bodies, and unless there’s a miracle, that’s not gonna happen. You’re floating on the general wards this shift. Where else?”

“ICU tomorrow, then down to the ER, and then finishing it off in post-op.” Nadine wrinkled her nose. “Just wish there was more consistency.”

“There should be—” Epiphany held out her hand for Nadine’s schedule. “You’re only supposed to be in one department every rotation. I’ll talk to your charge nurse—”

“No, no, don’t do that. I don’t want to cause any trouble—” Nadine bit her lip as Leyla passed by her, then whispered something to Regina Thompson, another nurse. “Not any more trouble anyway.”

Epiphany’s eyes followed the nurses, then she focused on Nadine. “You still getting the cold shoulder because of the, uh, marriage?”

“I guess Lulu Spencer had more friends in the hospital than I thought.” Nadine picked up a pen, started to flip through a chart. “Leyla thinks I’m the worst person alive and is telling anyone she can find—”

“As if Leyla Mir didn’t snatch up Patrick Drake the second he was available,” Epiphany muttered. Nadine widened her eyes — it was very uncharacteristic of Epiphany to even admit she knew about any gossip, much less repeat it. “Don’t look at me like that, I don’t like mean girls. And that one? No other word.”

“Well, I guess from her perspective—”

“Does her perspective matter so much?” Epiphany asked. “Did you have a good reason for marrying Johnny Zacchara?”

Did she? It had felt that way at the time, but now a month later, Nadine wasn’t sure of anything. “I thought so.”

Epiphany waited another beat, but Nadine said nothing. “I don’t know what you were thinking, only you do. Live your life, make your mistakes, and remember that you don’t answer to anyone but yourself at the end of the day. As long as you can look at yourself in the mirror, you got nothing else to worry about.”

The nurse left the hub, and Nadine watched her go, then sighed. She didn’t know if she could do that either.

Eli’s: Restaurant

 Johnny tapped his fingers on the counter, watching the line cooks behind the counter pulling another rack of meat from the smoker in the back. His attention was pulled when Maxie strode through the entrance, her head down, her fingers flying across the keys of a phone.

Damn. Why was he always running into her in restaurants? Kelly’s was bad enough, Johnny didn’t want to think about what damage Maxie could do in a barbecue joint.

Her head rose up and their eyes met. She narrowed hers. “You really got some nerve, don’t you? What, are you stalking me?”

“I was here first—but—” Johnny accepted the brown bag the employee handed him, then shook it lightly in her face. “I’m leaving, so don’t throw any chicken wings at me.” At least Nadine wasn’t here, he thought, striding past the acerbic blonde and out the door, at first congratulating himself on avoiding confrontation.

Then he winced, remembering the pain on her face, the way she’d talked about the humiliation, begging him to give a damn about what mattered to her. He turned back towards the front door.

“What, did you find someone else to marry on your way to the car? Need a witness?” Maxie asked nastily, shoving the phone into her purse, turning away from the front counter. “I hope you got a prenup because that gold digger—”

“This has to stop—”

“What? You don’t like hearing the truth about your precious goody two shoes? She’s got all you snowed,” Maxie muttered. She snatched her order out of the employee’s hand, tossed down the twenty and walked past him.

Johnny grimaced, then reluctantly decided to follow her. It was time to settle this, once and for all.

Morgan Penthouse: Kitchen

“Where nuggets?” Jake demanded when his mother set his dinner down — a hamburger cut into smaller bites along with mac and cheese as a side. He frowned. “Nuggets.”

“Hamburger,” Elizabeth said. “Nuggets tomorrow.” She sat next to him, ready to cover his dinner plate with her hand the moment he attempted to launch any piece of it. She looked across the table at her grandmother, fixing her own hamburger. “I wish you’d consider staying a few more days, Gram.”

“Oh, we’re bursting at the seams here,” Audrey said, steadying Cameron reaching for his sippy cup filled with juice. “I’ve done my job, and you’ve recovered quite nicely if I say so myself,” she said.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want,” Jason told her, and she smiled at him—something Elizabeth never could have imagined only a few weeks ago, but her grandmother and Jason had clearly developed a new respect for one another. “It’s no trouble—”

“I’ve loved spending extra time with my babies…” Audrey smoothed Cameron’s curls back and he grinned at her. “They grow up so fast, and before you know it—” She looked over at Spinelli who was cleaning up orange soda that had sloshed out of his glass. “Well, before you know it, they’re off having their own adventures. But I do miss my quiet house. And you and Jason should have some time on your own without your grandmother hanging around.”

Elizabeth sighed. “I guess it’s selfish to ask you to keep giving up your life. I just…I’ve been a little spoiled with all the people I love under one roof.”

“And I’ve enjoyed every minute of it. It’s been a blessing, but you’re going to be back at work, and Jake will have a wonderful time spending the day with his father. I think it’s time we all got back to, well, what passes for normal in Port Charles. As long as we can. But I’m just a phone call away if you need me.”

Eli’s: Parking Lot

“Stay away from me, or you’ll get the pepper spray,” Maxie threatened, digging through the purse looped over the arm holding the paper bag.

“Relax, pain in the ass, I just want to talk. This has to stop,” Johnny repeated. “You get to be angry at me, but the digs at Nadine have to stop—”

“Really? Really? I have to stop being angry at the woman who pretended to give a damn about Lulu just to get close to you?” Maxie raged. “I bet she couldn’t wait to tell you every day! Reading magazines to her, washing her face—” She stopped, her voice choked. She pressed a fist to her mouth, turned away.

Johnny cleared his throat. “I—she never told me—I didn’t know that.”

“What? Don’t be stupid! Why would she do all of that if—” Maxie looked at him, her voice shaking. “She dropped Nikolas like a hot potato when he wouldn’t take her to California, but she knew you were lonely—”

“Maxie. Come on. Come on. You’re smarter than that.” Johnny took a step closer to her, and she closed her eyes. “I know you’ve heard the rumors. Mac’s your stepfather.”

Maxie’s lips trembled, so she bit down on them, folding her arms, the paper bag crinkling. “So? That doesn’t explain why she was with you on the pier or why she agreed to protect you. She barely knows you. She wanted your money, and saw her chance, so she made sure to impress you by taking care of Lulu—”

“She never told me a single word of that, Maxie. Never. And look, get mad at me, okay?” He pressed a hand to his chest. “I’m the one who put Lu in that situation, brought her to that wedding. Waited too long to get her help. I did all of it wrong. But Nadine did nothing but be a good person. At every step. You’re telling me she sat with Lulu, took time so Lu wasn’t alone. She also found time to sit with you, didn’t she? And do you know what she was doing with me that day?”

“I bet I do—”

“Defending me to Nikolas, angry that I was being cut out of Lulu’s treatment. Helping me think about what to say to Elizabeth Webber so that she’d talk to Nikolas for me. She’s protecting me, Maxie, because she thought it was the right thing to do. She’s a good person who doesn’t deserve the shit you’re giving her. Whatever they’re saying in the hospital, you don’t know her. None of you do. You’d never say any of this if you did.”

Maxie looked away, tears staining her cheeks. “It’s not fair. None of this is—if Lu were here, none of this would be happening, and maybe I hate her because she’s not here. And you know, this is my fault, okay.  Lulu was just trying to save me, and now she’s gone, and Spinelli hates me, too, for all of this, and Elizabeth that bitch kicked me out of the penthouse, and it’s just not fair!”

The words came out as a rushing tumble, so rapidly that Johnny couldn’t follow most of it. “Maxie—”

“Don’t. Don’t. I’m already humiliated enough.” She closed her eyes, took a deep breath. “Fine. Fine. You want peace, you’ve got it. We’ll just ignore each other. And when Lulu comes home, I’ll help her kick your ass.”

“I look forward to that. I mean it, Maxie. Thank you.”

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Elizabeth switched off the bathroom light, made a face. “I feel guilty.”

Jason picked up the white baby monitor on the nightstand, checked the volume. “For what? Leaving your grandmother with the boys while we took the bike out again? She didn’t seem to mind.”

“No, not about that.” She shook her head. “Did Spinelli say anything about today?”

“No.” Jason frowned, sat on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”

Elizabeth sat next to him, wrinkled her nose. “Gram and I went out for a little while with Jake, and then I came back early. Maxie was here.”

“I’m sorry. I should have told him—”

“I know they’re friends. I don’t understand why—she was always so terrible to him, but I guess after Georgie—” Elizabeth sighed. “I was going to be okay with that, you know. I really was. But I walked in on her raging about Nadine, insulting her—saying all the things I know she’s said about me—I lost it on her. I kicked her out, and I told Spinelli she can’t come back.”

“Spinelli knows Maxie’s an acquired taste,” Jason said. He covered her knee, his thumb stroking the skin left bare by the long sleep shirt she wore. “And this is your home. I want you to feel comfortable here—”

“But it was Spinelli’s first,” Elizabeth said. “And I don’t want him to feel like he can’t have the people he cares about—”

“It’s just temporary, right?” Jason reminded her. “You want us to move back to your place. I figure Spinelli will stay here, and he can have Maxie over whenever he wants.”

“But—”

“What happened to Georgie, he took it hard. He was the one to find her. Being there for Maxie, it helped him deal with all of that.”

“Which is why I should suck it up and—” She bit her lip. “It’s not about Lucky. It’s not that she had an affair with my husband. I don’t even care about that anymore. I really don’t—” she repeated when he just looked at her. “I—”

“You were faithful to Lucky until that night here in the penthouse,” Jason reminded her, and she sighed. “Worried about him, thinking about him. And he was having an affair with Maxie, telling her that you’d cheated first. A rumor she had no problem spreading far and wide. And then when you were sacrificing your time with Cameron to help Lucky, he continued to sleep with her, and she kept giving him pills. Not being in love with him anymore doesn’t change what happened. Or Maxie’s role in it.”

“No, I know that.” She rested her chin on his shoulder. “I just don’t like her very much and knowing that she’s taking that same terrible attitude and turning it on Nadine — it made me so angry.”

Jason kissed her forehead. “It’s okay. If Spinelli has a problem with it, I’ll handle it.”

She sighed. “Okay.”

“Are we done talking about Maxie now? Forever? Because that would be great.” Jason drew her palm to his lips.

“Oh, most definitely,” Elizabeth promised. She crawled into his lap, straddling him, and cupping his face with her hands. “I can think of much better things to talk about.”

If someone said three years from now
You’d be long gone
I’d stand up and punch them out
‘Cause they’re all wrong and
That last kiss, I’ll cherish until we meet again
And time makes it harder, I wish I could remember
But I keep your memory, you visit me in my sleep
My darling, who knew?
– Who Knew, P!nk

---

Monday, November 3, 2008

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bathroom

 Elizabeth swirled the toothbrush beneath the faucet, dropping it back into the container just as Jason pushed the shower door open and stepped out, grabbing a white towel to wrap around his waist. She turned around, leaned against the counter, arched a brow. “You know, I could put off my meeting with Epiphany another day.”

He paused in the act of dragging another, smaller towel through his hair, confused for a moment, then grinned. “You could. But your grandmother is still here.”

She wrinkled her nose. “And if I ask her to take Cameron to school, she’ll just have questions. No, fair point.” She turned back to the sink, reached for the mouthwash and he came up next to her, retrieving his own toothbrush. “I like this part.”

Their eyes met in the mirror, and she went on, “And I hope I never take it for granted. That I get to stand here with you in the morning, at night. That we have this.”

“You won’t—I won’t,” he promised her.

She finished her mouthwash, left him in the bathroom so that she could shed her robe and pull out some clothes. As much as she’d enjoyed the last few weeks, recuperating at home with her boys, having her family around, it was time to get back to normal.

Or whatever normal would look like now that her life included Jason.

“We haven’t talked about the boys with you going back on rotation,” Jason said, emerging from the bathroom. “I know you had Jake in daycare, but—”

“But that’s not possible now,” she said, and he nodded. “I figured. I don’t want to hire a nanny just for my hours—”

“I know. That’s why I thought—I can work from here. It’s different now,” he continued. “I’m…I’m the one—”

“You’re the one sending people out to do your old job,” Elizabeth finished, and he nodded. “Okay.”

“You’re okay with that?”

“Yeah. Of course.” She smiled. “I want you to have time with Jake, and you wouldn’t take him anywhere that wasn’t safe.” She stroked his arm. “We can do this, Jason. As long as we talk to each other.”

“I love you.” He leaned down, kissed her. “I need to get Cameron to school.”

She didn’t bother to tell him that he didn’t need to keep doing that either. Elizabeth thought Jason liked doing those small domestic duties, all the little bits and pieces that came with being a father. She’d deprived him of so much time, so many opportunities. But that was over now.

It was time for everything that came next.

Nadine’s Apartment: Kitchen

He’d slept on the sofa the last two nights.

It really shouldn’t have bothered him, Johnny thought, switching on the coffee pot, listening to the hiss and pop of percolating caffeine. He was supposed to be on the sofa. That had always been the plan. Go to Vegas, get married to protect them both, come back to Port Charles, and figure out how to handle everything else — but sleeping on the sofa was understood.

He’d changed it all — he’d reached for Nadine that first morning in Vegas because he’d wanted to, and because she’d looked so skeptical that anyone would believe he wanted her—and he’d kept reaching for her, even when she’d expressed doubts about the way they were complicating everything.

Until Saturday. Until he’d fought with Maxie again. Until Nadine had looked at him and reminded him point blank that this was temporary. That they were only in this mess because Lulu had lost herself, had been whisked away to California where he couldn’t even see her. That Maxie was furious that Johnny had married someone else only days later.

And he hadn’t been able to charm Nadine out of her anger, hadn’t been able to smile and flirt his way back to safety, so he’d turned on her, throwing her kindness back in her face—

He cringed now, thinking about it.

“You came to town because of what your sister did, you told me that. To put some good back into the world. How’s that working for you? You saved Nikolas’s life, and he walked out. You tried to help me, and look how that turned out—”

What an asshole. All she’d done since that night in the hospital was look after him, to do what was best for him. She’d done whatever she could to keep the PCPD and Scott Baldwin from dragging him to court again—even though this time he was actually guilty.

And that sat uncomfortably—the knowledge that Johnny was responsible for putting Sonny Corinthos in a coma. Maybe it had been self-defense, but it didn’t change what he’d done.

All Nadine had asked him to do was avoid Maxie. Not to engage. Not to be part of the public scenes.

“If you want to fight with Maxie everywhere, then fine. Do whatever makes you happy. What does it matter that all it does is humiliate me? Why should that matter? It didn’t matter to Jolene, didn’t matter to Nikolas. Why would you be any different?”

He leaned against the counter, staring blindly at the linoleum floor. She’d asked him for one thing.

It was time to figure out how to get that for her — even if that meant finding a way to make peace with Maxie. Nadine deserved at least that much, if not more.

General Hospital: Patrick’s Office

Patrick grinned when he saw Elizabeth knock on his open door and came to hug her. “Hey, Epiphany said you were coming in today. We miss you.”

“I miss you guys, too,” Elizabeth said, sitting down. “Epiphany put me back on rotation starting Wednesday, so—” She nodded at his desk stacked with files. “You look busy. I should get out of your hair—”

He touched the top of the files, laying his hand across the manila folder. “No, it’s not—I mean, they’re patient files. I—I’m trying to organize things to take off for a week or two.”

“You’re actually going to take paternity leave? Like not come to work for an entire day?” Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. “Do you know how to do that?”

“I don’t really have any choice,” he said. “Robin can’t—and shouldn’t be alone for this.” He hesitated, looked at the files, then back at her. “You were alone, weren’t you?”

“With Cam? Yeah, sort of. I mean, I had my grandmother, but Lucky was there with Jake.” She looked down at her hands. “He had to do a lot of the work in the beginning—I was recovering from the complications. He…was really good with him.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up—”

“No, it’s okay. It’s—” Elizabeth scratched the edge of her brow, then shifted, uncomfortable. “You know, it’s easy sometimes, I think, to focus on how it ended. On the way he left. He didn’t even tell the boys goodbye. I know it’s partially my fault—”

“Jake, yeah, okay, that’s on you. But not Cam. Don’t let yourself get sucked into blaming yourself because that twerp couldn’t hack being a hands-on father when he didn’t get his way. Cameron was his kid before there ever was a Jake. And there was no call for him to up and leave that boy just because he was pissed at you.”

“I know that, but—”

“But nothing.” Patrick shoved away from the desk, restless. “You don’t get to be a dad when it’s convenient. You know, we’re joking about how hard it’s going to be for me to take some time off, but if I could take more than two weeks, I’d do it. Robin’s doing the hard part. All I gotta do is sit there and wait for someone to give me my kid. But when they give me my daughter, Elizabeth, you better believe I’d kill someone who tried to take her away. I wouldn’t walk away from her, and I haven’t even met her yet. I don’t need to hold her to love her. What kind of—” He broke off, looked away.

“We’re not about Lucky anymore, are we?” Elizabeth asked softly. “Patrick—”

“No. I just—” Patrick pressed his lips together, took a deep breath. “Jason told me Cam was there that morning. That he saw Lucky leave. And I don’t get that. I don’t. I don’t get how you can switch off like that. My father—he was there every day when I was a kid. And I thought he was the world’s best father until he dove into the bottle.” He looked at her. “How does that happen? How does he show up for me but Matt? He’s nothing to my dad. Not even a blip. Just a couple of checks a year, and he doesn’t have to think about anything else. Never held him. Never sat with him. And he lived all this time like Matt didn’t exist. How does that work? How do you love one kid and hate the other?”

“People are human,” Elizabeth said. She rose, crossed to him. “And no parent ever sets out to love one child more than the other. Maybe Noah had guilt later, maybe he didn’t. I don’t know if my parents ever felt badly about the favoritism they showed Steven and Sarah. I don’t know how Lucky could be there for my little boy almost from the beginning, and then walk away. Jake—I know that it would have been hard for Lucky, to watch Jason step in with Jake, but I never had any intention of taking Cam from him. Even now, we’ve told Jake Jason’s his father, but Cam still just calls him Jason. Because he knows who his father is, even though he stopped asking for him.”

“And doesn’t that make you furious? Don’t you want to rip his throat out?”

“It just makes me sad,” she said, and he sighed. “For Cameron, who must be so confused, even though he’s handling it. And for Lucky. His greatest fear, you know, was that he’d end up like his father. That he’d let his family down when it mattered. It’s easier to run, Patrick. To hide. To pretend the problem doesn’t exist. But I can’t let it rule my life. If Lucky comes back, I’ll deal with it. But for now? My boys are safe, they’re healthy, and they’re loved. Your daughter is going to be so loved, she’ll be smothered with it. Our parents teach us so much about family, and who we want to be. They’re the model we’re trying to live up to—or avoid being.”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess that’s true.” He rubbed his face. “I don’t want to be Noah Drake.”

“You won’t be. You couldn’t be. Because you’d never run away when it gets hard. You could have turned down this job. But you come here every day and face it. That’s the kind of dad you’ll be. Someone who shows up and loves so fiercely it takes your breath away.”

Elizabeth touched the patient files, then met his eyes. “You should call Matt. He could take some of these off your hands.”

“I thought you weren’t going to meddle,” he muttered, but there was no heat in his tone.

“I think there’s a window where family gets to be close. A moment where they choose each other. I missed mine with Steven or Sarah, and there’s no guarantee it’ll ever open again. Matt’s a good doctor.” She held the top file out to him. “Give him a chance.”

Coffee House: Office

Carly set her bag on the chair, draped her coat over the back, and then took a deep breath before raising her head to look at Jason. “Mama said she’d talked to you.”

Jason’s mouth tightened and he dropped his gaze to his desk before forcing himself to look back at her. “I was going to call you.” And that was true, he thought, but he hadn’t exactly put it at the top of his list or let himself think about it much. He hadn’t even mentioned it to Elizabeth.

“Well, I’m here, so…” She looked down, plucked at a thread in her coat. “Patrick asked if I wanted some second opinions. You know, how I went all the way around the world trying to find someone, anyone who would tell me he was wrong about Michael. But he wasn’t then. And he’s not now.”

“No, I didn’t think he was.” Jason cleared his throat. “Are you thinking about sending him to Silver Water?”

“Yeah. Yeah, um, I like the idea of him being near Michael. I called, and they said they had a bed open. They’re holding it.” Carly’s fingers dug into the top of the chair. “Have you…I know it’s none of my business, but have you been to see him?”

“No.”

“Right.” She bit her lip. “Morgan’s handling it, but I was thinking maybe I should find someone for him to talk to. Or at least a therapist who can observe him. Make sure I’m not missing anything. It’s been…it’s been a hard year. The boys were close to Emily, too, so that’s…”

Jason exhaled slowly. “I’m sorry. I never meant for you take this on entirely—”

“It’s okay. It is, Jason. You were juggling a thousand things a few weeks ago, and I agreed with you then — your family came first. You couldn’t do anything for Sonny—”

“I could have. Elizabeth was in surgery. Maybe I could have checked in with him or called someone.”

Carly sat down, folded her hands in her lap. “Or Sonny could have learned a lesson from six months ago. He rushed into whatever happened on those docks. You said it was self-defense. Sonny went after Johnny out in the open. He was never like that before we lost Michael. He was out of control, and everything that happened after Kate was shot told us that. Maybe he was having an episode. I don’t know. But what I do know is none of this is your fault. Elizabeth nearly died. Sonny could have waited. He could have been sitting in the waiting room with you, waiting for word. That’s what a friend would have done.” Her voice faltered. “I should have done that.”

“Carly—”

She shook her head. “Don’t make excuses for me. We both know that I have to work twice as hard to be a good person. It doesn’t come naturally for me. It never has. Sometimes I stumble into it, and that’s great, but mostly someone has to point it out. I don’t want to be someone you take care of, Jason.” Carly exhaled in a quick breath. “And I didn’t come here to be a weepy mess. I figured you’d be okay with Silver Water. I’m going to make the arrangements and talk to Kate. She, um, got out of the hospital last week. I figure she should be in the loop since if not for a few minutes and a crazy shooter, this would be her decision.”

“I think that’s a good idea. Let me know if there’s anything you need from me.” Jason got to his feet, intending to walk her out but Carly remained still. “Was there something else?”

“I ask every time I go if you’ve been there.” Her eyes searched his, and he dropped his gaze first.  “Promise me, Jason. You’ll go to see him before we move him.”

“I—” He glanced away, then nodded. “Yeah. I’ll go.”

“Okay. I’ll call you later.”

Crimson Offices: Lobby

 Kate removed her sunglasses, stowed them in her purse and held it out to a beaming Maxie who snatched it, delighted to have Kate back.

“I can’t believe you’re already coming back to work,” Olivia complained following Kate into her office. “You just got out of the hospital—”

“I’ve recovered almost completely, Olivia.” Kate was relieved to see her desk was mostly clear. Maxie bustled in, heading to the cappuccino maker in the corner. It was lovely to be back in her element, to have her assistant who knew exactly how to look after her.

“But—”

“I appreciate you staying, that you came to the wedding at all,” Kate continued. She sat at her desk, holding out her hand to accept the drink Maxie brought her. “But I think we’ve learned that we do much better with some distance between us.”

“Distance,” Olivia repeated. She folded her arms. “You mean me back in Bensonhurst where I can’t remind you of where you came from—”

“I used to be ashamed of it.” Kate tipped her head. “Strange, isn’t it? The thought that someone would learn that I was born in Brooklyn and hadn’t spent my youth summering in Martha’s Vineyard. As if that was all that mattered in the world.” She sighed. “I’m not ashamed of who I was, Olivia, but that’s not who I am anymore. And I’m not sure you’re interested in Kate Howard. You proved that while I was in the hospital. When given the opportunity to put me first, you chose petty revenge.”

“Do you really think that’s why I did it?” Olivia planted a hand at her hip. “Do you really think that I give a damn about what happened twenty years ago?”

“Twenty-five. You’d think that it would be easy for you to remember that, all things considered—”

Olivia’s eyes darted over to Maxie, doing her best to fade into the curtains. She looked back at her cousin. “We don’t need to talk about any of that—”

“What’s the harm in doing it now? What can it possibly matter? Sonny’s not here to get angry at me for keeping the secret, at you for lying—”

Olivia folded her arms. “You think I give a damn about any of that? You promised you wouldn’t say a thing—”

“Back then, it was personal.” Kate’s lips flirted with a smile. She flexed her manicured hands. “I wanted him, so I took him. And I didn’t want him to have any ties to you. We both know what he would have done if you’d told him.”

“I wasn’t tying my life to a thug. You think what’s happened is a tragedy, but whoever put that bullet in you did you a favor, whoever put a bullet in him did a favor for the world—”

Kate’s expression went pale. “Get out. Now. And don’t ever come back.”

“With pleasure,” Olivia spat. She slammed the door behind her, and Kate took a breath, pressed a hand to her midsection, gathering herself.

Then she looked at Maxie who had remained as still as a statue, a notepad in her hands. “Family can be very difficult. Particularly when the history is filled with nothing but bad memories. I apologize for that scene.”

“Nothing to apologize for.” Maxie folded her arms. “Maybe Olivia really believes someone did you a favor, but they’re also why Lulu is gone, and she knows that. She just doesn’t care. So goodbye and good riddance.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth lifted the lid on a toy box, dropped the bundle she was holding into it, then looked at Jake. “This doesn’t open for at least an hour. Play with the toys that you already have.”

Jake considered the truck at his feet, screwing his tiny face up with thought. “Want fire.”

“Does it have to—”

“Fire,” Jake repeated, stomping his foot.

“Fine, fine. I’ll get the fire engine.” Elizabeth dug down to the bottom, retrieved the fire engine. “How about this one?”

Jake beamed at her. She set it on the floor in front of him. “Okay, go forth and annoy the world.” She winced when she heard the siren wailing as Jake rolled it towards the door. “Should have broken that thing when I had the chance.”

The front door opened, and Jason stepped in, frowning at the sound.

“Sorry, I tried to get him to play with the quiet dump truck—” She picked her way towards him—she’d only cleaned up about half the toys Jake had dragged out all morning. His favorite way to spend the day was emptying his toybox so he could see all his toys at once. “But he likes loud noise. I was hoping he’d inherit your love for quiet—” She raised her voice slightly to be heard over the clamor.

“No, I guess he got your love of chaos.” Jason dipped his head, kissed her. She sighed, leaned against him for a moment, enjoying it. She wouldn’t take her health for granted again, she thought.

“Yeah, well, between Jake liking things that make noise and Cameron’s need for speed, I’m a little scared.” She gestured towards the kitchen. “We can talk in there—the noise isn’t so bad when you’re not in the same room.” He followed her towards the back of the penthouse, and true enough, the fire alarm dulled a bit with the distance. “You sure you want to keep him at home?” she asked, pulling out ingredients for Jake’s usual sandwich lunch.

“I can handle it,” Jason said, but he was smiling when he sat at the table. “Did Epiphany put you back on the schedule?”

“Yeah. I’m hoping to get to the surgical floor. I like the hours better there, but we’re short-staffed in so many places.” She cut Jake’s sandwich in diagonal slices. “I thought you said you’d be at the coffee house until later. Plans change?”

“Yeah.” Jason leaned back in the chair, looked at the surface of the table. “Carly came by. It’s, uh, time to talk about long-term care. For Sonny.”

Elizabeth’s fingers stilled in the process of setting carrot pieces next to Jake’s sandwich. She went to him, and he pulled her down to sit on his knee. “What do you need?” she asked softly, touching his face, stroking his hair back. “What can I do?”

“Nothing. There’s…” He sighed, leaned his head against her chest. She kept combing through his hair. “He’ll go to Silver Water. Like Michael.”

She said nothing, knowing he wasn’t finished. He spoke again, “She wants me to go see him. Before.”

“Because you haven’t until now.” Because he couldn’t, she knew that. Couldn’t face it. Until he sat in the room next to Sonny’s still body, next to a shell of the man who had played such a pivotal role in Jason’s life—part of Jason could pretend it wasn’t happening. “Gram is still here. Let’s take advantage of that. After the boys are in bed, we’ll take the bike. We’ll make it go away for a little while.”

“I don’t know if that’ll work, but—” Jason tipped his face back so that their eyes met. “Yeah. Okay.”

‘Cause I’m not your princess, this ain’t a fairytale
I’m gonna find someone someday
Who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rear-view mirror disappearing now
And it’s too late for you and your white horse
Now it’s too late for you and your white horse
To catch me now
– White Horse (TV), Taylor Swift

---

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Nadine’s Apartment: Kitchen

The first time she slammed the cabinet door, Johnny barely noticed it. The second time, he glanced over from the sofa, and the third time, he cleared his throat and got to his feet. “Uh, did you want help putting the dishes away?”

Nadine pressed her lips together, said nothing. She closed the dishwasher with the toe of her foot, then a bump of her hip.

“Okay,” Johnny said, drawing the word out uncertainly. “Are you still mad at me?”

“No, why would I be mad at you?” she asked sweetly, picking up the plastic dish with the leftovers from dinner. She yanked the fridge open, dropped the container on the middle shelf, then let the door slam.

“I didn’t throw the food.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I didn’t start it either,” Johnny said, following Nadine back into the living room. He snagged his jacket from the hook hurriedly when she dragged her sweatshirt over her head. “You’re not going jogging at this time of night — we’re in the middle of a conversation.”

“No, we’re not.” Nadine pulled the door open, but he slapped a hand on it and shut it. She scowled, pulled it open again, and then they wrestled for a minute over the doorknob. “I want to go for a walk, and I don’t want to look at you right now—”

“Okay, so you are mad at me.” Johnny slithered in front of the door, arched his brows. “Why can’t you just say that? I didn’t start the fight. And I paid for everyone’s food, remember? I stayed to clean up!”

Nadine closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and counted to ten. “The last time Maxie saw us together at the hospital, what happened?”

“Hospital security had to escort us both out. In my defense, she kicks—” He rubbed his forearm. “And bites—”

“For the last month, every time Maxie so much as sees us breathing the same air, she loses her mind. I asked you, no, I begged you, just ignore her. Don’t respond. Don’t fight back. Walk away. We could have just—”

“Let her win?” Johnny made a face. “Not a chance. She’s wrong—”

“She’s not!” Nadine retorted. “The only reason any of this is happening is because Lulu isn’t here. Okay? If she were okay, you never would have been on the pier with me, we wouldn’t have gone to Vegas, and we wouldn’t be sleeping together!” She dragged her hands down her face. “Maxie’s not wrong. Even a little bit. Okay? And she knows it.”

“She doesn’t know—”

“Johnny—” There was a sudden pressure behind her eyes, and Nadine had to exhale, to look away. “Sometimes you can be the most infuriating man alive, do you know that?”

Johnny straightened, moved away from the door. “You’re complicating something that doesn’t need to be complicated. Maxie will cool down and we can all just get on with our lives—”

“Yeah? What does that look like, Johnny? What, four or five months, we’ll figure no one will ask any questions, and we’ll just get a divorce? You’ll go back to your crazy family, and I’ll get my half of the closet back?”

Johnny opened his mouth, then closed it. “What does that mean? What are you asking me?”

“Nothing. Nothing. You’re right. This is only as complicated as we want it to be, and you don’t want it to be, do you?”

When he just looked at her, she nodded. “Exactly. So when I ask you to stop poking at Maxie who is justifiably angry about what happened to her friend and how we handled it, maybe next time you’ll listen. Now, get out of my way and let me go for a walk.”

This time, he didn’t stop her.

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

“Look at you, throwing parties. Who would have guessed it?” Bobbie teased, joining Jason by the fireplace as he watched Jake carefully build a tower from the Legos he’d spilled out onto the floor.

Across the room by the desk, Elizabeth had been cornered by her grandmother and Monica, her smile bright and her eyes happy. After a long year—after several long years — of seeing her cry more than smile, it was a relief that only memories of Emily a few days earlier had brought those tears to the surface.

“Audrey handled everything.”

“Well, still, it’s a good thing to get everyone together. Though maybe I should have tied a chicken or something around Carly’s neck so that someone over the age of twenty-five will talk to her,” Bobbie said. Jason searched out Carly who was making very awkward conversation with Spinelli, practically the only adult in the room other than Jason who could stand her. Cameron and Morgan took turns chasing each other, looping around sofas and pool tables.

“I told her she didn’t have to come,” Jason reminded Bobbie, who just sighed.

“I told her that, too, but well, maybe she took it as a dare. She said she’s been trying hard to be good, at least since some incident at the hospital.” Bobbie lifted her brows. “How’s she doing? Is she finally learning to play well with the other kids?”

“Good. She’s been great. With Cam, I mean. And having Morgan around has really made the adjustment easier for him. And Elizabeth hasn’t said anything about her.”  Not that she would, Jason thought. She never did complain to him about Carly, preferring to handle it herself.

“Moving in here or losing Lucky?” Bobbie wanted to know. When Jason just looked down, she sighed. “I wish I could understand what happened to my nephew. He wasn’t always like this. Or, you know, maybe he was,” she murmured, more to herself. “His answer when things were difficult was to run away. Couldn’t deal with his father, okay, but the way he treated Laura—I don’t know. Maybe he was always going to grow up to be Luke.”

Jason sipped his beer, and Bobbie tapped his arm. “You don’t have to answer that. Or say anything. The boys have been good for each other. And I’m so glad they both have you.” She paused. “I don’t—I don’t want to pry or poke into anything, but you should know that Patrick’s talked to Carly about decisions that need to be made for Sonny.”

Jason took a deep breath, looked over to Patrick who had joined Elizabeth by the door. “I—I haven’t asked her.”

“I know. And Carly’s a little prickly on the subject, too. I just thought you should know the topic has been raised.”

Drake Condo: Living Room

Robin rubbed her belly, feeling the reassuring press of a tiny foot against her hand. “You know, if you’d just come out, I could have gone out tonight,” she muttered to her unborn child. “You’re being very stubborn.”

“Are you insulting my grandchild?” Anna asked. Robin turned to find her mother smiling, holding out a cup of herbal tea. “This is a good lesson for you to learn. Children will do as they please. You certainly did.”

“I want to argue with that, but I can’t. Uncle Mac basically threw up his hands after a while.” Robin sipped her tea. “I was doing just fine with all of this, living my life, going where I wanted, but a week ago, it just became impossible.”

Anna just smiled, went over to the sofa, began to organize the pillows, fold the throw blanket Robin had used earlier that day. “Any day now. Or minute. And Patrick is just a phone call away. I’m sure Elizabeth understands — you said she was a mother, didn’t you? She and Jason have how many children?”

“Two,” Robin said absently, then frowned, looked at her mother. “No, one. Well, the younger son is Jason’s biological son. The older is from someone else, I don’t really know anything about him.”

“Wasn’t she married to Lucky Spencer? I thought I remember something about it from my visit last year—” Anna furrowed her brow. “Or was it two years ago?”

“They divorced last year, but they’d been having issues for a while.” Robin began a lap around the room, wincing as the baby shifted, pressing against her ribs. She rubbed her belly again, hoping to get the baby roll another way. “They separated, and Liz and Jason had something. It was a mess for a while, but it seems like it’s sorted out now.”

“I still find it laudable that you’re friendly with your ex-boyfriend. And that you’ve become such close friends with the new woman in his life. Holly and I could never quite achieve that, though I tried to be friendly for your sake.”

Robin snorted. “If that was you being friendly —” Her mother flashed her a quick grin. “I told you before — it’s been ages since Jason and I were together and, well, Liz got close to Patrick first. She was really great when I found out I was pregnant. When I left Port Charles, I was sure Jason would end up with Carly. Thank God he found Liz. And I’m glad he’s a father. He really deserves it.”

Anna lifted his brows. “I’m certainly not one to talk about having a family with a dangerous profession, but is it really a good idea for a man like him to have a family?”

Robin bristled. “A man like him? A wonderful, devoted, loyal, and generous man?”

“A man in the business that he is,” Anna said, unruffled by her daughter’s sharp tone. “Look what happened to that poor boy and Jason’s business partner—”

“Neither of those things were Jason’s fault. And if people listened to him more often, they wouldn’t have—” Robin closed her mouth, her throat suddenly tight. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t even know how we got on this topic, darling.” Anna rubbed her shoulder. “You know your friend best. Drink your tea and we’ll find something to watch until Patrick returns.”

Morgan Penthouse: Living Room

Elizabeth sidestepped Cameron and Morgan on another lap around the pool table, lifting the tray in her hands high to avoid being knocked down.

“Let me grab that,” Patrick said, reaching for it. “Birthday girl doesn’t work.” She followed him over to the desk which had been cleared off for the birthday cake Bobbie had pulled out of the fridge earlier.

“Moms don’t get days off,” Elizabeth said, already tidying the table, tucking plastic forks and spoons back into the red cup that had tipped over at some point. Patrick slapped playfully at her hands. “Please, just wait until Robin has a kid living outside her body. It’s impossible to turn the radar off.”

“Fair enough—” Patrick paused when the door behind them opened and Maxie came through, her jacket thrown over her arm and a gift bag in her hand. The blonde ignored them both and headed right for Spinelli, tossing the gift haphazardly on the coffee table.

Elizabeth pursed her lips, then deliberately turned back on the blonde. “Carly and Maxie at my birthday party. Who made this list again?”

Patrick smirked, then his smile faded when snatches of Maxie and Spinelli’s conversation drifted over to them. Maxie was animated, her hands flying in the air, and Spinelli had his shoulders hunched. “And she doesn’t look happy to be here.”

“Well, who wants to attend the birthday party of your ex-boyfriend’s ex-wife?” Elizabeth shrugged a shoulder. “I’m sure Spinelli didn’t even think about it. He wasn’t around for that stuff.”

She caught Jason’s eye across the room and saw him also looking at the pair with a little concern. She shook her head, trying to indicate that it was okay, and he nodded, returned his attention to keeping Cameron and Morgan from knocking things over. Carly was with her mother, doing everything she could to avoid Monica Quartermaine, who was glaring at her.

“Happy birthday to me,” Elizabeth murmured, then focused on Patrick again. “Sorry. I really shouldn’t be annoyed. I drove Jason crazy with Lucky and Ric and—well, let’s just say the list doesn’t end there. How is Robin?” she asked, changing the subject. “Driving you crazy?”

“Driving everyone crazy. Thank God her mom showed up to distract her,” Patrick muttered. “Did she tell you that our offer on the house was accepted?”

Elizabeth lit up. “Really? That’s amazing! Oh, I’m so happy. Our kids will grow up near each other, and you’re going to love the neighborhood. Cam’s not in public school yet, but I’ve heard great things.”

“Robin has us on the wait list at St. Andrews already,” Patrick said with a grimace. “The tuition is ridiculous. It’s preschool, and I think it costs as much as Harvard.”

“Oh, I know.” She made a face. “If it weren’t for Cam’s grandfather leaving him a trust fund for education, I’d be over at Happy Wagon or whatever that place is called near the hospital. But thanks to Cameron Lewis, I applied for St. Andrew’s the second I came home from California. Being Steve and Audrey Hardy’s great-grandson was definitely my ticket in. But it’s worth it. Cam adores it, and he’s already learned so much just in two months.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s something I have to start thinking about. Schools and pediatricians. Robin’s probably got lists for that, too. But before we can worry about any of that, we’ve got to have a baby. Kelly says if she still hasn’t delivered in a week, we’re inducing.” He rolled his shoulders. “She wanted to come—”

“But going anywhere right now is awful. I completely understand. Tell her not to worry. You know Kelly has everything under control. There’s no one I’d trust more. You know what I went through with Jake, and Kelly’s the reason I’m still here.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s just—” Patrick looked down at the bottle of beer in his hand. “After what happened to you, I just can’t stop myself from thinking what if Robin’s the next patient? What if the baby needs something—”

“Spinelli fixed the codes. And installed a firewall,” she reminded him gently, touching his arm. “And if I’m back to work, you know you can call me. I’ll work on her case and watch everything like a hawk. Any nurse would, but—”

“But you know what could happen,” Patrick finished. He rubbed his chest with a lightly fisted hand. “Yeah. Yeah. I know Spinelli did everything he could to make the system safe, and everyone’s happier, but—”

“But,” she said with a nod when he stopped talking. “You don’t have to tell me. We’re still short-staffed, and I overheard Epiphany saying we lost two more nurses.”

“I don’t want you to worry about any of that—”

“But I do. Gram and I were talking about the nursing program. How much it meant to both of us. And what the hospital means to our family. To Jason’s—” she looked at him now, trapped with Monica who had brought baby photos of Jason for them to compare to Jake. Jason held them in his hand and Monica had Jake in her arms, smiling broadly. “The hospital matters, Patrick. It’s given me so much. I want to find a way to give back. I know it’s not as simple as just asking Jason for the money. I’ve thought about it, but—”

“We can’t afford any, uh, questions about the source,” Patrick said with a sigh, and she nodded, making a face. “Yeah. I’m getting to the point where I don’t care, but that’s just desperation.”

“We’ll figure it out, Patrick. Somehow.”

Nadine’s Apartment: Living Room

The electric keyboard wasn’t the same as the piano back home, and it was hard to really get lost in the music the way he used to with it propped on the coffee table, bumping into his knees, but it was better than nothing.

He didn’t know how long Nadine was gone and he didn’t hear the door when it opened again, but he felt the mood in the apartment shift, the energy change. He glanced towards the door, saw Nadine leaning against it, her expression pensive.

He let the piece he was playing trail off. “Sorry, I know it’s getting late—”

“I like listening to you play.” Nadine toed off her sneakers, then curled up in the armchair next to the sofa. “Which one is that? I’ve heard it before.”

“Moonlight Sonata. Beethoven,” he added. “I know it by heart. Don’t even have to look at the keys anymore.” He demonstrated by keeping his eyes on her face while his fingers danced across the keys, playing the next stanza.

“Probably loses some of its power on a dinky keyboard propped up on a coffee table,” Nadine said with a sigh.

“A little.” He switched off the keyboard, then flexed his fingers. “Are we still fighting?”

“No. I just—I want you to ignore Maxie the next time she starts—” Nadine held up a hand when Johnny opened his mouth to protest. “She visited Lulu in the hospital every day. Going back and forth between Kate Howard’s controlling cousin and sitting for hours, chattering away at a woman who never answered.”

Johnny exhaled, dropped his gaze down to the black and white piano keys. “They weren’t even that close. She’s being dramatic—”

“Maybe. Maybe she’s carrying the same guilt you do. Neither of you put Lulu in that bed or caused her to crawl inside herself and not come back. But you both carry the weight of it. You pretend it doesn’t matter, like it didn’t happen. And she attacks you—and me—because it feels better to have someone to blame.”

“I don’t—” Johnny closed his mouth. He couldn’t even finish the statement. “I don’t know what else to do.” He looked at her. “We all have to figure out how to cope, right? I pretend it didn’t happen, Maxie gets homicidal rage, and you smile at everyone trying to fix them. I mean, that’s how you’re handling the way people talk about you, right?”

“We’re not talking about me—” Nadine pushed herself to her feet, headed for the kitchen and to the bedroom beyond, but he followed her.

“You came to town because of what your sister did, you told me that. To put some good back into the world. How’s that working for you? You saved Nikolas’s life, and he walked out. You tried to help me, and look how that turned out—”

Nadine turned to face him, her expression strained. “I didn’t try to help because of Jolene. And that’s not why I tried to help Nikolas—”

“Really? Did you even know Nikolas? But you went out on every limb trying to save him from himself, forcing him to save his own life. And me? You threw away your whole life to help me. Who does that?”

“Oh, now you want to complain? Let’s remember who talked who into this, Johnny! That was you—” She jabbed a finger into his chest. “I wanted to go to the police, but you reminded me that they suck at doing the right thing and convinced me that getting married would solve our problems. Now you’re mad because I agreed?”

“That’s not what I meant—” Johnny started, but Nadine sliced her hand through the air.

“No! No! I’m sick of being told what I’m doing and why I’m doing it, okay? You don’t know me, you don’t know a damn thing about me! No one does. I’m not some piece of white trash chasing bank accounts or a useless girl who just wants to save the world—”

Johnny scowled. “Now who’s putting words in who’s mouth? I never said a word about the money. You refuse to take it, and who the hell called you white trash, because I sure as hell didn’t—” His scowl deepened when Nadine looked away. “Who’s calling you a gold digger, Nadine? Is that what they’re saying at the hospital? Because—”

“Forget it. Forget I said anything. Forget all of it. I don’t want to have this argument anymore. If you want to fight with Maxie everywhere, then fine. Do whatever makes you happy. What does it matter that all it does is humiliate me? It didn’t matter to Jolene, didn’t matter to Nikolas. Why would you be any different?”

She slammed the bedroom door before Johnny could say a word. He stood in the middle of the tiny kitchen, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now.

Morgan Penthouse: Master Bedroom

Elizabeth held up the T-shirt with the Crimson Magazine logo scrawled across it, then looked at Jason across the room. “Well, maybe I should be relieved it’s not poison.”

“I didn’t even—” Jason came over, took the shirt and the gift bag which also included a few back issues of the magazine. Maxie had clearly just grabbed something on her way out of the office that evening. “I didn’t think about telling Spinelli not to invite her, I’m sorry—”

“It’s fine. I’m just surprised she even went to the trouble of giving me a gift, even a terrible one. It’s more than my parents have done in—” She considered. “Three or four years, maybe. Not since before Cameron.” She took the bag back from him, tossed it in the back of the closet, then slid her arms around his waist. “Thank you. For tonight.”

“It was your grandmother’s idea—”

“And I’ve thanked her already, but it still means a lot to me to have the people I love in one room—along with people I tolerate because I love you,” she teased and he managed a half-smile. “I wasn’t…I wasn’t sure what it would be like to celebrate this year. I barely even remember last year. But Em would be so mad if I let it ruin another year.”

Jason stroked her back, and Elizabeth laid her head against his chest. “I know.” He kissed the top of her head. “I know you talk about her a lot with the boys. Cameron mentioned her. Said he missed Aunt Em bringing him chocolate.”

“Every visit. Always had candy for them hidden somewhere,” she murmured, closing her eyes. “I always told her one day, it’ll be your turn, and I’ll slip your kids candy, so they’re all sugared up together.” Her breath was only a little shaky now. “I hate that she’ll never have that. That we’ll never get to be moms together. But I want to keep her memory fresh for the boys. She loved them so much, and I hate that she’ll be nothing more than a picture.”

“Michael and Sonny…that’s what they’ll be for Morgan,” Jason said, and she stilled, her fingers resting against the soft cotton fabric of his shirt. “He won’t remember having an older brother. A father.”

She tipped her head back, and their eyes met. “Maybe not. But we’ll remember, and we’ll share them with Morgan. We won’t let them be forgotten.” Then she tipped her head to the side and smiled. “And I haven’t forgotten about my plans to thank you properly for my gift this morning.”