- Mad World Release schedule is being adjusted one more time. I had planned to release one chapter a week starting Wednesday, April 6, and continuing one a week until May when I would increase to M-F.
- We’re going to maintain that one chapter a week on Wednesday through May, and possibly into June.
- Flash Fiction is going to stay on Sundays, but I’m not promising it every week. I’ll either post at the normal time around 11 AM EST or I won’t.
- I’m releasing Karma, the novella I wrote for Liason Haven next weekend.
- All Patreon perks will be released on Sundays instead of Saturdays. I had a few things I was posting on Saturdays, but it just isn’t working.
If you’re interested in learning more about any of these things, you can click the Read More link. Otherwise, subscribe to the mailing list and get emailed when I release new material.
I’ve never taught in a normal year, from beginning to end. I subbed for years before I got my own classroom, but 2019-2020 was my first year in my own room and every year since, it’s just been a clusterfuck of constantly adjusting to all the changes and pressures. The first year I got through it because I was home during the pandemic and the challenges were different, but last year, I ignored all the signs that I was in trouble until I was literally a non-functioning ball of stress and anxiety. I went into therapy, beginning in May and stayed for six months to get a handle on my anxiety triggers and to do a better job of protecting myself from the level of burnout I experienced last year.
I was doing okay in January and February, but something just slammed into me during March and I feel like I’ve constantly been behind the curve. I keep trying to get on top of things, but it’s like there’s just another mountain waiting around the corner. I’m not eating right, I’m not getting out of the house enough, and I’m just starting to feel that same constant nagging feeling I’m doing something wrong all the time.
This week was kind of the final straw. On Monday, I had a full turnover and got 55 new students in all three classes. Then, they pulled me on Tuesday for meetings, and on Wednesday, I had to break up a fight in my classroom. I ended up taking a sick day on Thursday because I just completely felt out of it. Friday was better, but I just feel off the rails a little.
This time last year, I was also in editing mode for Fool Me Twice and I rushed it. I rushed myself and I rushed this ridiculously ambitious book, and it didn’t help me because the more I rushed myself, the more anxious I felt until I wanted to quit writing all together. I don’t want that for myself anymore. Writing needs to feel like fun.
So before I hit that crash, before I start feeling like I hate writing, I need to take a deep breath and just relax. The book is fine, the writing itself is fine. It’s just the level of energy I’m bringing to it, and I need to be okay with not meeting deadlines that I created in the first place. I’m okay with this level of release because one chapter a week gives me time to complete the final round of edits. I need to be okay with not doing Flash Fiction every week. It’s supposed to be fun, not an obligation.
It’s definitely frustrating that teaching is what is creating all of these problems in the first place, but I’m readjusting now before I burn out and end up screwing my summer like I did last year when I did act fast enough. I spent this weekend relaxing, reading, and I’m planning to take more walks and do a better job taking care of myself this week. March was crap, but I have higher hopes for April.
Love you all 🙂