Written in 65 minutes. I’m not wild about the ending, but it’s close enough to what I need. See you tomorrow!

---

After finishing the movie and saying goodbye to Danny, Rocco, and Scout, Jake nearly called a ride-share to take him home, but it felt like chickening out. Jason had told Jake to call for a ride, and after the run-in with Drew, it didn’t seem as important or easy to find the simmering resentment he’d had for both his parents.

The journey between the Quartermaine Estate and his mother’s brownstone probably wasn’t more than ten minutes on a normal day, but they hit a pocket of rush hour traffic downtown, doubling the time and making the silence in the SUV even more palpable.

Jake propped his elbow on the window, resting his first against his forehead, watching the crowds traveling the sidewalks of Central Avenue, and thought about going home to his mother. About packing his things again to move in with his dad—

About Danny and Scout being split up. About Drew’s veiled threats—

“If you hear me say anything rude to my mother—” Jake paused to look at his father, found Jason watching him, one hand on the steering wheel. “I want you to knock me out.”

Jason furrowed his brow. “I don’t think that—”

“Because sometimes I forget,” he muttered, turning his attention back to the window, staring out at nothing at all. “It all just rises so fast in my throat, and I start saying things, and I called her a liar, and it was stupid and it was mean, and I hate myself for it. But I don’t know if I can stop it. So you’re my dad. I need you to make me stop.”

The light ahead of them changed to green and the cars started to move finally. Jason didn’t respond right away, and Jake figured he’d agreed. Which was good. Exactly what he wanted.

“Your mother was like that, you know,” Jason said, and Jake frowned now. Jason flicked his eyes over to Jake for a moment before returning them to the road. “If she was hurt, she’d lash out. To make the person who hurt her feel as bad as she did.”

Jake tipped his head. “That’s the first time you’ve ever criticized her. Did you know that?”

“First, I’m not criticizing her, so you still haven’t heard it. I’m stating a fact. Second, I know it frustrates you that sometimes we defend each other to you, but you know…” Jason hesitated. “I watched Michael go through Sonny and Carly’s divorce. He was old enough to know what was going on. They…were vicious. Their arguments, the stunts they pulled to get Michael to pick one of them — he was miserable. He knew they hated each other. I don’t do it on purpose, and I’m sure your mother doesn’t either. It’s just…” He flexed his hands on the wheel, grimacing when they hit another red light.

“You guys are nicer to each other than some people who are actually married,” Jake said. “But I guess I get your point. A lot of my friends have divorced parents, and they play them like violins, you know? Getting more money,  or more freedom — but I knew I never could do that. You always check with Mom, and she always—well, when she could, she checked with you.” Something eased in his chest and now Jake stared forward, out the window. “Mom could be really mean? Like…like I was? But she’s not like that now—”

“She can still pack a punch if she needs to,” Jason said, and Jake decided he was probably right. She’d whipped out the Charlotte card pretty damn fast, hadn’t she? “And maybe she and I just communicate better now so we don’t hurt each other the way we used to.” He paused. “It’s how she protected herself, and I understood that most of the time. But it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, Jake. When she lashed out. Even if I deserved it.”

The light changed to red, and they didn’t talk again until they came to another light.  Jake didn’t really know what he wanted to say, how to formulate his thoughts. There was something interesting in what his father had said, something that almost unwound the ball that had been tightly wrapped in his belly since that horrible day with Mr. Corinthos.

“Danny will never argue with his mother again,” Jake said, and he heard his father’s soft sigh. “I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to be angry all the time. How—” He looked at Jason. “How do I stop that? How did you stop being angry that Mom picked that loser to be my dad and not you?”

Jason smiled thinly, shook his head slightly. “You’d have to know how long that, uh, loser, had been in her life. The way she’d built her identity around him. The way other people in her life had reduced her to being someone who was in his life. Lucky’s girlfriend, Lucky’s wife, the girl who buried him, the girl who left him at the altar—” He stopped. “She was very young when they fell in love. Teenagers. It took her a long time to let go of what she  thought her life was supposed to be.”

Jake tested that information in his mind, rolling it around. He thought about Charlotte who had nearly died the year before, so angry at her father and taking it out on Anna. She’d ended up lashing out, terrorizing Anna in ways Jake knew she regretted. And even now, knowing who her father was and what he was capable of, she was on the run with him. Had turned away a normal, happy life to have her father.

They finally made it out of downtown, and Jason turned towards his mother’s street. “You’re really not mad at all. Even a little a bit,” Jake said, and his father sighed. “I’m sorry, I know you’re tired of talking about it, it’s just—”

“You just learned about it, and it’s not as easy for you to turn the page. I get it, Jake.” Jason pulled into the driveway behind his mother’s car, and switched off the ignition, then looked at him. “I get it, and your mother does, too. She just…for obvious reasons…doesn’t want to talk about this. I’m not sure she’s forgiven herself, no matter what I say. She’ll always blame herself for the years we lost.”

“And you don’t?”

“I blame me. I’m the one who had the power to stop it,” Jason said. Jake met his father’s gaze. “I was too scared of what might happen to you if I changed my mind. And for a while, once he was clean, Lucky was a good father, Jake. That was important to me. He was in your life, in Cam’s life. Actively playing a role. You were happy, and I thought that it meant I’d made the right choice.” He looked straight ahead, towards the garage door, swallowing hard. “Then the accident. I couldn’t—I couldn’t hide how I felt. The truth was out, and I thought all I’d ever have are regrets.”

Jake pressed his lips together, stared at his hands. “It’s…Helena took me because she thought I was a Spencer. All of that happened to me because of that lie—”

“Helena chose to kidnap you. To fake your death and steal you. To play games with your mind. But, Jake, if you’re going to be angry with your mother for it—” Jason waited for Jake to met his eyes again. “You have to be angry with me, too. We both made the choice. It was a mistake. And we regret it. But that’s all we can do. There’s no changing the past. I can’t go back and make a different choice. Not eighteen years ago. Not two years ago.”

“Would you?” Jake cleared his throat. “Would you still have left us? Let us think you were dead—”

“No. I wouldn’t.”

Jake nodded, then reached for the handle of the door. “I don’t know if I’m still angry,” he said, not looking back at his father. “But I don’t want to walk around like the worst thing in the world happened to me. Because I get to go inside and see my mother. Danny never gets to do that again. So I’m gonna figure this out, I guess.” But now he did look back at Jason. “But I think Mom’s right. I think moving in with you and Danny is a good idea for all of us.”

“So do I. We’ll get him through this, Jake.”

Jake pushed the door open, then hesitated again, looked back at his dad. “Uh, by the way. Drew…I sort of overheard part of your conversation at the house.”

“Jake—”

“I think he’s gonna mess with your custody battle.”

—

Michael switched on Wiley’s night light, then carefully backed out of his room, closing the door and leaving it slightly ajar.  He met Willow exiting Amelia’s room just across the hall, and tried to find a smile. “She out?”

“Like a light.” Willow rubbed her arms and followed him down the hall to the master bedroom. “I, uh, heard Jake was up at the main house today. Jake and Jason.”

Michael perched on the edge of the bed to toe off his shoes. “Yeah. Jason said they’d come by today, but I missed them.”

Willow sat next to him—but kept almost a foot between them. “About Danny?”

Michael looked at her curiously. Since when did she care about any of that? But since she’d asked, and it wasn’t a state secret, Michael nodded. “Yeah. He told me that he’s getting a bigger place. For Danny and Jake to come live with him.”

“Jake, too? But he lives with his mother. Hasn’t he always?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Michael got up, went to the closet, removing his shirt and tossing it in the hamper. “Jason mostly did weekends. Some holidays. I don’t know. I never asked, but it didn’t feel like there was a formal order. My uncle probably let Elizabeth set the schedule most of the time. It’s his way.”

Willow made a face. “I couldn’t imagine being separated from my babies. Being in the cancer ward while I was recovering was hard enough.” She bit her lip. “What about Alexis?”

“What about her?” Michael looked at his wife, wondering if she’d been thinking about being separated from their children when she’d been fucking his uncle on the floor of the nursery. He cleared his throat, shoved the image from his brain.

He didn’t want to be separated from his kids either. Not after the long, miserable year he’d thought his son was dead.

“I…heard that Alexis is filing for custody.” Willow twisted the hem of her shirt. “Drew, um, asked me to testify for him. As a character reference.”

Michael stared blindly down at the carpet. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“I know you don’t want me to be around him, but it’s not like I can avoid him—”

“Not avoiding him and testifying that he’s a good father is something else.” Michael finally turned, looked at her. “Alexis and Ned have always been close. How do you know he hasn’t or won’t tell her?”

“I—” Willow closed her mouth, her cheeks flushing. She looked back at her hands. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Well, you should. It’s bad enough my family knows. Family court records are sealed, but I promise you, that will get out.” Michael watched her, but she wouldn’t look at him. “Is that what you want? For people to know?”

“N-no, but—” Willow cleared her throat. “It’s…don’t you think it’s best that Scout stay with her dad? Shouldn’t we be thinking of her?”

Had Drew been thinking about her that night? Sleeping down the hallway? Damn it. Michael scrubbed his hands down his face. “Yeah. Well, I wouldn’t worry about Drew’s character references. My uncle’s lawyer says his case is good, and he’s got a felony on his record. Drew will be fine.” He paused. “But you do what you want, Willow. This isn’t my choice. It’s yours.”

“But you don’t want me to do it.” She lifted her gaze to him. “You think it’s me choosing him over our family.”

She’d already done that, and if it weren’t the kids sleeping down the hall, Michael would have told her so. But he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t give his kids the same life he’d had. “I think I’m telling you that you’re the only one who can make this choice. If you want to testify on Drew’s behalf, do it. I’m not going to divorce you over it.”

“I don’t know. I guess I want to think about it. Scout’s just a little girl, Michael. She deserves the best life we can give her. I don’t think separating her from her father is the right choice.”

“Like I said,” Michael said, dropping his watch onto the bureau with a clunk. “That’s your decision.”

—

Drew was the topic of conversation elsewhere that night, as Jason had been troubled enough by Jake’s bombshell that he’d followed his son inside and interrogated him further, hoping for some sort of sign of what Drew planned.

But Jake didn’t know more than he’d already said, and had gone upstairs to play video games with his brother after dinner while Jason remained in the kitchen with Elizabeth, continuing to worry.

“It’s not like you to dwell on things you can’t control,” Elizabeth said, drying a plate and stacking it on the counter. “Drew and Alexis can’t really do that much damage, can they?”

“Alexis is bound by confidentiality,” Jason said after a minute. “But Drew…still has the memories Maddox planted in his head, doesn’t he?”

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. “Well, yeah. But the last time he mentioned it, they’d faded a lot. And the statute of limitations —”

“Doesn’t go away for some things,” Jason said, and their eyes met, held for a minute, before he dropped his gaze.

She hesitated, then finally said what had been on her mind all evening. “You need to talk to Michael. He knows Drew better than anyone. They’ve been working together for years. He’ll know how to get him to back down.”

“I hate putting Michael in the middle of my problems.”

“I know. But he’s not a little boy anymore, Jason. He’s told you over and over again he wants to help you. Let him.”

← Flash Fiction: Dear Reader – Part 21 |