Do You Ever Think of Me?

In late January of 2003, they aired a scene in which Elizabeth followed Courtney to the loft where she discovered the relationship with Jason. Then we got a horrid confrontation scene. I either rewrote that scene or wrote this as a tag to the original episode. I have a second version of this that takes a different tone.

I used a song in here that I know I never heard before. Back in 2003, it was so much harder to get songs and I liked the lyrics of this. I have, uh, since listened to it and while the lyrics still fit — the mood doesn’t, lol.

This story is set in January of 2003 and written at that time. Jason and Elizabeth had broken up in October of 2002, sharing very few scenes after that point. Jason and Courtney started dating in December, and he arranged for a loft where they could see each other privately while Elizabeth tentatively started seeing Ric Lansing. When Elizabeth learned that AJ (Courtney’s estranged husband) had hired a PI to follow her, Elizabeth was worried and followed Courtney to warn her. Instead, she saw Jason meeting Courtney there. This story is set directly after that.


I wanted your love, but look what its done to me
All my dreams have come to nothing

“If you’ve got a question, ask me.”

Elizabeth’s entire body tensed up and she glanced to the right. Damn, forgot to lock the back entrance, she thought idly.

“Jason, I’m so glad you’re here,” Courtney jumped in. “She—”

“Courtney, could you give us a minute?” Jason asked. “I’ll meet you outside.”


He looked at her. “Please.”

Courtney sighed and went to unlock the door. She left, but made sure to stand outside and look in.


“You are either the biggest liar in the world or I am more naïve than I thought possible,” Elizabeth broke in, glaring at him.

Who would have believed
All the laughter that we shared would be a memory

He frowned and shook his head a little. “I’m sorry if I hurt you—”

“How dare you tell me over and over again that it was too dangerous—that it wasn’t safe for us to be together and the second I leave the penthouse, go and shack up with Courtney!” Elizabeth cried. “How could you lie to me like that?”

“I wasn’t lying,” Jason said, defensively. “It was too dangerous. You’d been shot at—kidnapped—”

“But suddenly it’s not?” Elizabeth replied. She arched her eyebrows. “I thought it never really over. I thought that even meeting in secret wouldn’t work. So, you want to explain how that works with Courtney?”

“You walked out on me!” Jason said, exasperated.

You walked out first,” Elizabeth retorted. “You walked out that door in September and you let me sit in that penthouse alone. You were there for everyone but me. You never called. You never came home. And you lied to me.”

“You told me you could handle my job!” Jason accused.

I cannot count the tears you’ve cost me
If I could have seen

“And your job was to avoid me?” Elizabeth snapped. “To never come home but have time to spend at Courtney’s place?”

“Elizabeth, I was guarding her—”

“Yeah. I know. But you couldn’t even pick up a phone to tell me that, either. For all I know—you could have been lying somewhere, bleeding or dying. God, do you have any idea how many nights I lay awake, scared to death because yet another day had gone by without you even coming home to change.”

Jason took a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry—”

“No you’re not,” Elizabeth replied. “You’re not sorry at all. Because it was your job. And in your mind that makes it okay. So, yes, I walked out. But tell me, Jason. What did I have to stay for? To come last? To come after Sonny and Carly and Courtney and everyone else in your life? To not even make the list of your priorities?”

“That’s not fair,” Jason argued. “You know how I felt about you—”

“No, I don’t,” Elizabeth cut in. “Because you never told me. You pushed me away for months. And because you promised to try and then you lied at me—I was supposed to stick around and be treated like dirt?”

And do you ever think of me
And how we used to be?

“You slept with Zander,” Jason replied, crossing his arms.

“Oh, no. You do not get to throw that in my face anymore. I told you I was sorry. I told you that it was a mistake. I tried to make you understand why it happened—but you never wanted to hear it. So you do not get to throw that in my face.” Her eyes darkened. “And that is no excuse for the way I was treated.”

He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Elizabeth, look things didn’t work. You said that they couldn’t. And I believed you.”

“Because it’s exactly what you wanted to hear.” Elizabeth took a step towards him and tilted her head to the side. “Tell me, Jason. How long before you and Courtney got together? A day? Two?”

“It was a lot longer than that,” Jason replied, a little irritated. “Nothing even happened until—” he stopped and looked away. “I’m not going to do this with you, Elizabeth.”

“Why not? Because you’ll have to tell me the truth for once in your life?” Elizabeth accused. “I’m right. It didn’t take long for you to hop into her bed.”

“Don’t say it like that,” Jason said. “That’s not the way it happened. So, what, I’m not allowed to be with anyone else? I’m not allowed to move on?”

Oh, I know you’re somewhere else right now
And loving someone else no doubt

Elizabeth just shook her head and looked away. “That’s not what this is about. This is about me being lied to by someone I thought was my friend. I covered for her with AJ. I went out of my way to help her—support her. And she lied to me.”

“We couldn’t tell anyone,” Jason tried to explain. “It would hurt me at trial.”

“And what…you think I’d go run and tell everyone I see?” Elizabeth asked, a little hurt. “You think that I am that vindictive?”

“No…” Jason sighed. “No, I don’t think that. I’m sorry, Elizabeth—”

“Can you answer me something?” Elizabeth cut in. “Is there something about me? Something that I do or say that just screams lie to her? Betray her? She doesn’t need anyone?”

“No,” Jason said, confused. “I—”

“Because all anyone does to me. Everyone lies to me. It’s like a disease and I’m sick of trusting people. I trusted Nikolas and Gia to be my friends and they used it against me. Did Courtney ever tell you that I stuck up for last year when they were trying to blame the accident on her? That I went against my best friend to tell the truth and set her free?”

“No,” Jason admitted. “She didn’t—”

“I thought Sarah was my friend but she slept with Lucky. And I thought Courtney was my friend. God, I confided in her and I trusted her. And look where that got me,” Elizabeth said. She shook her head. “Everyone lies to me.”

Well I’m one for sorrow
Ain’t it too too bad

“And you,” she continued in an almost broken whisper. “You were supposed to be one person in my life that I didn’t have to worry about lying to me—that I didn’t have to ponder every word you said and wonder if it was the truth. And once again—you lied to me. And I think that’s what hurts the most of all. You, who promised to listen to me and respect me and be honest with me…you who promised to try…you broke those promises, Jason. Do you realize that?” Her eyes teared. “Every time you walked out of that penthouse without so much as looking at me or saying a single word to me…you broke those promises. When you let everyone and everything come before me…you broke those promises. And I left because I couldn’t recognize you anymore.”

Jason took a breath. “Elizabeth—”

“I want you to leave,” Elizabeth said softly. “All right? Just go outside. I’m sure Courtney’s waiting in the courtyard for you.”

“I can’t leave…” Jason shook his head. “Elizabeth—”

“Go,” she said, more forcefully. “There’s nothing left to say. We tried. We failed. You moved on.”

Are you breaking someone else’s heart
‘Cause you’re taking my love where you are

“What’s going on in there?” Courtney muttered, trying to hear the hushed conversation.

Zander pulled her away from the window. “Hey, give them some privacy, okay? This is the first she’s had to really lay into him and he deserves every word of it.”

“She can’t blame Jason for everything,” Courtney retorted. “Elizabeth left him.”

“You know—” Zander shook his head. “You weren’t there, Courtney. You don’t know how many nights she stayed up and paced waiting for him to come home. She worried herself sick over him and to find out that it was for no reason…that she’d comforted Carly in her grieving and worried about Jason losing Sonny…and Sonny wasn’t even dead…I don’t blame Elizabeth one iota for how she’s handled the situation. Jason deserves whatever he gets.”

Well I’m one for sorrow
Ain’t it too bad about us

“What about you?” Jason asked. “You haven’t moved on?”

Elizabeth snorted. “You have to ask? I just attacked your new girlfriend.” She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’ve really moved on.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” Jason said. “At any time.”

Elizabeth crossed her arms and shook her head. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Please go.”

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” Jason asked. “Why didn’t—”

“Because it wouldn’t have made any difference,” Elizabeth replied softly.

“Why not?” Jason demanded.

I wanted your love, but I got uncertainty
I tried so hard to understand you

“Because I actually meant what I told that night. You’re Sonny’s enforcer. First. Last. Always. And anything else…it just doesn’t rate all that high on your priorities.” Elizabeth shrugged and looked down. “I’ve been in a relationship where I came last. Where a family feud, poison, brainwashing and everything else came before me. I turned myself inside out to make it work and it didn’t. I still didn’t matter enough.”

“You mattered to me, Elizabeth. You always did,” Jason tried to insist.

“You’d never know it,” she replied. “Because I felt like I was with Lucky all over again. Like I wasn’t needed or wanted. Like I didn’t matter enough to warrant a simple phone call to let me know you were still breathing.”

All the good it did me
Now the places that we knew remind of how we were

“I never meant to make you feel that way,” Jason said. “I’m sorry.”

“I accept your apology.” Elizabeth tilted her head towards the door. “Now. Please, go.”


“Your girlfriend’s waiting.” Without another word, Elizabeth turned and walked quickly towards the back of diner. Jason stared after her for a moment.

Then he turned and walked out of the diner. He walked right past Courtney and out of the courtyard.

“So,” Zander said, looking at the stunned blonde. “Tell me again how much he loves you.”

Courtney started sputtering and started to chase after Jason. Zander shook his head and went into the diner.

Everything is just the same
But all I feel is hurt

“Elizabeth?” Zander called. “Are you still here?”

Elizabeth appeared at the entrance of the kitchen. “Zander…what are you doing here?”

“I was outside with Courtney,” Zander said. “It was the funniest thing—Jason walked out of here and right past her. Like she didn’t even exist.”

Elizabeth gave him a weak smile. “I know that feels.”

“You okay?” Zander asked.

She shrugged. “I’ll have to get back you on that.” She sighed and reached under the counter for her purse. “Come on. I need to lock up.”

“You know…he’s an idiot,” Zander said as she pulled her coat on.

“Yeah…well…aren’t we all?” Elizabeth murmured.

And do you ever think of me
And how we used to be?


  • so very well done
    would of loved to have seen this play out on the screen
    instead, i quit watching

    According to vicki on February 8, 2015
  • This was so sad. Could they get together? All of your one shots can be longer stories.

    According to arcoiris0502 on June 21, 2020
  • Man, I wish this was a little longer. Elizabeth delivered some hard truths to Jason. It would be interesting to see as the story develops what Jason does with them.

    According to Stephanie on July 19, 2022
  • I always liked the Zander Liz friendship. I was sad they turned him into a freak in the end and killed him off. He didn’t deserve it. Loved this Liz venting of Liz. Maybe she wouldn’t have turned into such a shrew in the show later if she’d had a chance to really tell him off…lol

    According to Jen on March 3, 2024