WAYS TO LISTEN: YouTube | Spotify | Apple Music

-1-

I am someone who, until recent events
You shared your secrets with
And your location
You forgot to turn it off

—

By the end of July, the summer heat had taken a firm grasp of the city, engulfing the region in thick, hot, and heavy air that made even the shortest of outside activities uncomfortable.

And though one of the perks of his accident had left Jason without much ability to feel hot and cold temperatures on his skin, he was still susceptible to their effects. His skin still darkened if he was out too long—or burned if he was too careless. He could still sweat. And today, as the sweat pebbled at his temples, he cursed himself for agreeing to do anything outside, much less the conversation he was facing.  He hoped that by meeting her away from the penthouse, somehow the encounter wouldn’t be unpleasant.

He crossed the park, heading for one of the fountains near the playground, thinking that he was an idiot for not discarding his jeans in favor of lighter material or even a pair of shorts. The jeans felt heavy against his legs as he walked the paths, realizing how empty the area was. No one was here today—no one except—

He stopped nearly a dozen yards away, long before she could have seen him.

She sat on a bench near the fountain, the spray of the water creating a thin mist and keeping the air nearby just a bit cooler than the rest of the park. Her long chestnut hair was piled on top of her head in a careless and messy knot, tendrils curling madly around her face, a bit red from the sun.  She’d dressed more suitably for the weather — a pink top with thin straps and a pair of jeans cut off high on the thigh.

And cradled in her arms, there was a baby.

The last time Jason had seen Elizabeth Webber had been just before she’d left town, heartbroken at the end of her marriage. It had taken her more than a year to finally give up on the evil son of a bitch, but she’d finally walked away, and Jason had found himself wondering about her once or twice these last few months. Where had she ended up? Was she all right? Had she delivered the baby? But he’d never followed up, never sought the answers.

The last few months felt like a blur now, from changing the test results and shoving himself right in the middle of Sonny and Carly’s acrimonious divorce and even more bitter reconciliation.  He’d nearly married the woman carrying Sonny’s child, but that had fallen through and now Sam lived in the penthouse, as angry with Jason as she was with the rest of the world.

Everyone, including Sonny and Carly, was angry at him, and there didn’t seem to be much Jason could do these days without someone turning fury his way.

Maybe that was why he picked up his pace again, the sound of his boots against the cement paths drawing Elizabeth’s attention, her eyes finding him, widening. Her arms curled around the baby a bit more tightly, and he would have wondered at that, but then she smiled, a slight curve of her lips.

“Jason. It’s…I didn’t expect to see you here.” She flushed. “Not that you don’t have a right to be here, I just—”

“It’s all right.” He sat gingerly next to her, keeping space between them. She seemed nervous, her shoulder stiffening. It had been like this between them for months, nearly a year, Jason thought, and it was one more piece of his life that he’d found a way to destroy. They’d been finding their way back to friendship when Emily had fallen ill, and then—

“I didn’t realize you’d had the baby,” Jason said, after clearing his throat.

She bit her lip, looked at him, then back at her son. “Yes. Cameron—that’s his—I mean, that’s his name.” She turned the infant in her arms, cradling him from the other side so that Jason could see him more clearly. The baby was awake, his little face red and his fists waving in the air. “He’s ten weeks old,” she murmured.

Jason nodded, taking in the features of the baby, the tiny fingers could barely wrap around his thumb, the dusting of dark hair, the blue eyes he’d likely inherited from his mother. “He’s beautiful,” he told her. “Healthy? Emily never said anything.”

Elizabeth looked at him, then looked back at Cameron. “Yes, he’s…he’s healthy. Emily didn’t—no, why would she.” She cleared her throat, focused on him again. “But she did tell me you’re going to be a father again. Um, congratulations.”

Jason tensed, then looked ahead, towards the entrance of the play area. He didn’t want to accept those words from her, no more than he’d accepted them from his grandmother. Lila had gone to her grave believing a lie. “Thanks.”

“I, um, not that I really know anything about it, but I—I thought Sonny was seeing Sam. When I left, I mean.”

Jason looked at her briefly, but couldn’t hold her gaze, looking instead at the fountain. Would the water feel cool? He suddenly wanted to submerge his entire body in it, anything to avoid this conversation, to even dance around a lie with Elizabeth. Not when a lie had put them on this bench, finding it difficult to even look at each other.

“Not that it’s any of my business, ” Elizabeth added when he said nothing. “Because it’s not.”

“It’s—sometimes things happen,” Jason said, and looked at her again for just a moment but it was too much, and he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t look her in the eye for any of this conversation. “And you have to make the best of it. Any way you can.”

She smiled, then switched a squirming Cameron to the other side, picking up a toy that had fallen to her side on the bench. She handed it to him, and he stuffed a stuffed animal in his mouth. “That’s definitely true. You know, sometimes you expect one thing, and you’re ready for it. And then—something happens, and it’s completely different. You just—you just have to adjust and go with it, you know? You can’t change what’s already happened.”

Jason squinted at her, a bit confused by the words, and the somber tone she’d used. “Are—are you okay?”

“Yes—but, um, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about—”

But before Elizabeth could say anything else, another voice interrupted her — Jason winced. He’d forgotten the reason he was even here, and somehow Carly had snuck up on him.

She stood in front of them now, her hands planted on her hips, one foot tapping. “You’d better be here to tell me that you’re kicking that whore to the curb—” Carly’s eyes flickered to Elizabeth. “Are you crawling back now that you’ve got a baby and no one to take care of you anymore?”

Jason bristled, but Elizabeth ignored Carly. She scooted to the edge of the bench and laid Cameron into the stroller she’d put to the side. But Carly wasn’t going to let it go. “Because you’re too late. Jason doesn’t need you or that kid. Unless you want to take a turn with Sonny. Since you’re sharing whores these days,” she said, returning her gaze to Jason, her eyes glinting with fury.

“Knock it off—” Jason said, getting to his feet. “You’re not going to talk about Elizabeth that way—”

“But the mother of his child, I’m free to insult,” Carly said to Elizabeth with a smirk. “He’s a real winner, our Jason.”

Elizabeth rose, wrapping both her hands around the handle of the stroller, then looked at Carly.  “I don’t know what’s going on, and I really don’t want to.”

“I’m sorry,” Jason told her, and Elizabeth just shook her head, started to push the stroller up the path, stopping as she drew abreast of Carly.

“You got a problem?” Carly demanded, lifting her chin. Elizabeth shook her head and continued on her way, disappearing around a corner. Carly wrinkled her nose, then turned back to Jason. “Good riddance. The last thing you need is another ride on that roller coaster. She got herself into that situation, she can figure it out on her own.”

“And if I’d said that to you that night in December?” Jason demanded. “When you showed up, soaking wet, begging for myself? What if I’d told you that was your problem?”

“That was different, okay? It was. And why are we even talking about her—”

“I don’t know. I don’t know any of it.” Jason dragged his hands down his face. “I can’t even have a conversation with someone without you doing this. Attacking me, attacking anyone just standing near me—”

“Well, you know what my problem is, Jase. You slept with Sonny’s trash and you’re keeping the vermin across the hall from me and my kids! What do you think I’m going to do? You think this makes me happy?”

Jason just shook his head and started to walk away — in the opposite direction so that Carly couldn’t run into Elizabeth again. “I don’t care what makes you happy,” he muttered. And he didn’t. He only cared about Michael. About what would keep that little boy safe and with his parents.

“Well, then shove the garbage in a safehouse and when she has the baby, you can just take it—” Carly trotted after him. “I mean, she’s got a terrible record, and I bet if you offered her enough money—”

“Just—just—” Jason turned to her, put up both hands. “I asked you to come here to stop it. Is there any point in bothering?”

“As long as she lives across the hall, Jason, you’re going to hear about it,” Carly retorted. “So, get over it or get rid of the bitch. Make your choice.”

-2-
And so, I watch as you walk
Into some bar called The Black Dog
And pierce new holes in my heart
You forgot to turn it off

—

She still slept in the same room where she’d spent her teen years, though it had changed a little since her return from California. Her double bed had been moved against the wall, and one of the dressers still crammed with clothing she hadn’t worn since before that night in February had been moved to Audrey’s sewing room down the hall.

Audrey had made some phone calls and unearthed a few pieces of furniture to make Elizabeth’s transition into motherhood smoother. A bassinet from Felicia Scorpio-Jones had been installed between the bed and the closet, just near the window, a changing table from another nurse at the hospital had taken the dresser’s place, and Steve Hardy’s old rocking chair had been pulled from the attic and now sat next to the bassinet.

Elizabeth had been grateful for the help — her decision to return and upend all the plans she’d made in California had come at a steep financial cost, one that she would have to find a way to resolve. But those were questions and worries for tomorrow.

Right now, she sat in her grandfather’s chair, cradling her infant son, watching him drift into sleep, thinking about the scene in the park. She’d only wanted to take a walk, to get out of the house before the afternoon heat made it impossible to even breathe outside. But then Jason was just there, in front of her, then sitting down, almost as if the last year hadn’t happened.

But it had, and there was no going back. No pretending that Elizabeth didn’t have decision to make. Those worries might keep for another day, but not forever.

“I promise, baby, I’m going to stop making a mess of my life—and yours.” She stroked Cameron’s back, still marveling at the softness of his skin, the fine texture of his hair, the miniature nails on his fingers. She’d created him, carried him and kept him safe for all those months—

“And I’m going to keep you safe. And loved,” Elizabeth added. “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, and there’s so many things that we need to sort out, but I was relieved when I realized the truth in the hospital. There’s no one who loves fiercer or more loyal than your father. It’s just…” What was one of his greatest strengths…was also the source of Jason’s most tragic flaw.

He was loyal to anyone he loved — including Carly, the bitter woman who had been crossed by a disloyal husband one too many times. Elizabeth had heard most of the story from Emily on a phone call a few weeks before she’d come home — the attempt to fix her broken marriage, the fear that Sonny had impregnated another woman, the horror that it was Jason who had done it — and all of it was so hard on Michael, Emily had said with a sigh. Which worried Jason more than anything. Elizabeth had wanted to know more, but her friend had moved back to her life, and the sorrow of mourning Nikolas.

That sorrow had twisted since that phone call — Nikolas was alive but remembered nearly nothing about his life or Emily.  Elizabeth knew the pain of that experience and hadn’t pulled Emily into her own problems.

“Once I tell him,” Elizabeth murmured, “there’s no going back. It’s signing you up for a wonderful father — and all the terrible baggage that comes with it.” And no signed up for a life that included Carly without some hesitation.

But hesitation was all there could be. Jason deserved the truth — had deserved it as soon as she’d realized it. Her own fears had already deprived him of weeks with his son. How many more nights could Elizabeth take without being crushed beneath the guilt of her silence?

“He’ll love you just as much as I do,” Elizabeth said. She pressed her lips to the top of Cameron’s head, lingering on the soft, fine blond hair, wondering if he’d inherited it from his father. “Just as soon as I tell him.”

– 3 –
And it hits me
I just don’t understand
How you don’t miss me
—

There was no escape from the mess he’d made of his life, Jason thought, shoving the door to the penthouse open and finding Sam McCall and Sonny in the middle of another argument. If Jason had thought it was worse before Sonny knew the truth about the baby rounding the brunette’s stomach, it only proved that he hadn’t developed much of imagination since the accident.

Because now that Sonny knew the truth about the baby, his anger hadn’t ebbed, nor had his targets. He would never blame himself for creating the situation, of course. But Jason for lying and Sam for going along with it? No, they were the real villains, and Sonny made sure Sam knew it every time Carly so much as left the property.

“I don’t know why you can’t try harder to avoid them!” Sonny bit out, throwing his hands up and stalking away from Sam. One hand dove through his disheveled hair, and the other went to his waist. He whirled back, catching sight of Jason. “Where the hell have you been? You’re supposed to be managing this problem—”

“Hey, asshole, I am not a problem,” Sam bit, “and let me remind you that I don’t need to do a damned thing either of you tell me. All I gotta do is give birth, and I’ll be rolling in the damned money.” She tossed her hair back. “Give me one good reason not to walk out this door and into the nearest attorney’s office.”

Sonny grimaced, looked at Jason, his eyes still dark with simmering rage, but Jason knew it was a cue for him to calm the situation, to bring it back under control. To keep Sam quiet and where Sonny could see her.

He knew his role, knew the lines in the script, opened his mouth to deliver them, then stopped. “You want to go?” He turned back to the door, twisted the knob, and yanked it open so hard it bounced against the wall and came halfway back. “Go.”

Sam scowled. “Oh, sure, like you’d let me get six blocks away before Don Corinthos over there scoops me up and locks me up for the rest of my pregnancy—”

“At least you’d be someone else’s problem.” Satisfied that he’d called her bluff, Jason slammed the door shut.

“She and Carly got into it in the hallway,” Sonny said, his teeth clenched. “Michael was upset.”

“I told you we’d put her in a safehouse,” Jason said. He folded his arms. “You wanted her across the hall where you could see her.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!”

“I wanted to make sure she didn’t take off and disappear!” Sonny retorted. “I didn’t ask you to get involved! That was your idea!”

And one he’d regret until he was in his grave, Jason thought, rubbing his forehead. “To protect the kids, yeah. Until you and Carly figured things out. ” He hadn’t really thought it would be forever, had he? “You’re both miserable. The kids are unhappy. You’re taking all of us down with you, Sonny.  Either figure it out or don’t, but I’m done being abused. By everyone,” he said, shooting Sam a scathing glance. “So leave me out it.”

And though he’d just arrived, he left. He wanted peace and quiet — and the penthouse was the last place he’d find it.

← The Black Dog – Inspiration | The Black Dog – Continue →