9 – this is me trying

This entry is part 9 of 17 in the folklore

I’ve been having a hard time adjusting
I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting
I didn’t know if you’d care if I came back
I have a lot of regrets about that
Pulled the car off the road to the lookout
Could’ve followed my fears all the way down
And maybe I don’t quite know what to say
But I’m here in your doorway


April 2001

He hadn’t brought much with him to Port Charles — everything he owned fit into one duffel bag. He’d never really accumulated a lot of things — almost everything could be bought if you needed it, so it never bothered him to leave behind clothes or books.

Clearing out the drawers at Jake’s wouldn’t take long, Jason thought, maybe five-ten minutes, and that was only because he wanted to save Jake the trouble of cleaning the room. And he needed to go now—

There was a knock at his door, and Jason muttered something under his breath. He hoped it wasn’t something he had to handle. The leads on the bomb sent to Sonny at the party would go  cold fast—

He yanked open the door, then grimaced. “I don’t have time for this,” Jason snapped, and the harsh tone—one he’d never used with her — had Elizabeth stepping back, her eyes widened. He winced, then took a deep breath. “I don’t have time,” he repeated. Not to hear her say whatever it was she was going to say. Especially if she said Lucky’s name one more time—he might actually put his fist through a wall.

“Oh. Oh. I understand. Um—” She looked past him, and he followed her gaze to the duffle on the bed. “You’re leaving.”

And because that was true, because he was going to cut himself loose from whatever insanity they’d been living for the last two months, Jason stepped back, holding the door open. “You have the five minutes it’ll take for me to pack to say whatever you came to say.”

“I—”

Jason opened a drawer, but in his frustration, yanked it too hard and it fell, spilling the small collection of shirts and jeans to the floor. Elizabeth stooped to help him, but he held out his hand.

“What did you want?” Jason repeated. With both hands, he gathered it all, then dumped it into the bag. “Elizabeth—”

“I’m sorry. That’s what I wanted to say.” Her lower lip trembled slightly, but she sucked it in, biting down hard. “I got halfway home, and I realized how badly I handled all of this, and I needed to say I was sorry—” the words were tumbling out faster than he could almost follow, “—and that you deserved so much better than the way I’ve treated you. It’s just that I was really confused and it’s not exactly easy—I mean, I had—neither of you have ever lied to me before and it was all so insane, you know? A knife—how could—” Her eyes were shimmering with tears. “It was just too much, and I think my brain shut down. I’m sorry.”

Jason exhaled slowly, some of his irritation fading. “I’m not doing this anymore,” he said, carefully. “I know I said I’d always be there, and I will, but right now, I can’t. I can’t—” He looked at her, at her beautiful eyes, hating that he was part of the reason she was so upset. “I can’t until I can figure out how to just be your friend. ”

He cleared his last drawer, with the socks and briefs. Elizabeth looked away, her cheeks pinking up.

“Um, but that’s why I came. Because I was wrong. I mean I was right, but I was wrong.” She made a face. “This isn’t coming out right, and I had it in my head, and it made sense in there. But now I’m trying to produce words, and I’m down to my last two minutes, and you’re angry. You should be angry. I was horrible to you. I-I sent you mixed signals, and that’s not fair—”

“Elizabeth—”

“—and maybe I was a little mad, too, because I never thought I’d be that stupid girl who was all about her boyfriend, but that’s exactly what I did. I-I threw away all my dreams for Lucky, for this modeling thing, and he’s running around, lying about you, attacking you—” Elizabeth sucked in a sharp breath. “And I picked him, so clearly I’m not the brightest, so I don’t even know what you’d want with me in the first place, but that’s not my point.”

Jason stared at her, bewildered. “You have a point?”

“Y-Yes.” She licked her lips. “I’m looking for it. I’ll find it if you can give me an extra minute. I just got distracted because you were so angry, and you should be, but I wasn’t expecting it which just tells you I’m as selfish as everyone says I am, because it’s all been about me, and that’s—” Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath. “You’re leaving right now, you said.”

“Yes. Or after that extra minute.”

“Okay. Okay. Well, then I’m coming with you.”

Jason opened his mouth, then closed it. He’d heard that wrong. That wasn’t at all what she’d— “What?”

“I mean, unless you changed your mind.” Her cheeks were cherry red, her eyes bright with embarrassment. “You changed your mind. Oh, of course. Right. This is really awkward—”

“Just—wait.” Jason took a minute to collect himself. I’m coming with you. “You came here to say you were sorry and that you’re coming with me.”

“Which is so arrogant of me,” Elizabeth muttered. “To think I could say no, and that you wouldn’t have come to your senses. This is why my mother always told me to think before I leap, but I told you, I got halfway home, and nearly crashed into the back of a bus because it just slammed in my head how stupid I was, and so I went to Lucky so I could tell him, and that took longer than I wanted because he was really annoying—”

“You told Lucky,” Jason repeated, mystified.

“And I’m never going to be able to go back to Kelly’s after this because he’s going to know you changed your mind, and I’ll be the dumb girl who threw away Jason Morgan and forgot to check if the offer was still good before breaking up with her boyfriend over it—oof—” Elizabeth’s ramble came to an abrupt stop when Jason backed her up against the door and kissed her.

He didn’t mean to do it, but she’d kept talking, and he’d always thought about cutting off one of her rambles with a kiss, wondering if she’d pick up where she left off when he let her go—

And she’d already told Lucky.

Elizabeth’s hands slid up his chest, curling into his t-shirt to drag him closer. Panting when he finally released her, she looked at him with a dazed expression. “You kissed me.”

Instead of answering, he kissed her again, slower, and she melted against him, making him rethink the hasty exit because there was a bed behind them—No.

Jason pulled back. “I need to go,” he told her.

“I know. That’s why I came here. So I can go with you.”

Jason leaned his forehead against hers. He couldn’t take her with him right now. Could he? But what if he left her here and Lucky guilted her into changing her mind?  “If I take you,” Jason said slowly, and her eyes lit up, “If I take you, you have to do what I say and stay where I put you. At first. I have to do something for Sonny. It’ll take a week. Maybe more. And you can’t go if you won’t do what I tell you.”

“You can trust me,” Elizabeth said. “I mean, maybe my credibility is a little shot after the last few weeks, but that was personal and I fixed that. Mostly. I think I did. You kissed me and you’re talking about taking me with you, so it sounds like I did —”

“You fixed it,” Jason confirmed, and was rewarded with a grin — one of her smiles that lit up her whole face. He couldn’t remember the last time she’d smiled like that. “And I know I can trust you.”

“Okay. So finish packing, and we’ll go. I’ll leave a message for my grandmother.” Elizabeth pushed away from the door.

“Don’t you want to pack anything?” Jason asked, zipping the duffle.

She opened the door, and leaned into the hallway, retrieving a backpack stuffed to the brim. “I figured I’d leave it out here so if you said no, the humiliation wouldn’t be complete.”

She’d already packed. She’d broken up with Lucky before she’d arrived. “Are you sure about this?”

“Mostly. I know I need a change,” Elizabeth said, her smile fading slightly. “And if I stay here, I’ll just slide right back into the same old things. And I’ll be miserable in a few months. Maybe you’ll get annoyed with me after a few weeks—”

“Not possible,” he said, with a quick shake of his head. He lifted his bag, looped it over his shoulder, then reached for her bag. “But any time you change your mind, I’ll make sure you get back.”

“Then what are we waiting for?”


Comments

  • I loved the rambling. And Jason knew just how to shut her up!

    According to Stephanie on March 3, 2024
  • I am so glad Elizabeth changed her mind and I’m sure she didn’t mind Jason stopping her ramble.

    According to Carla P on March 8, 2024
  • Stopping someone from rambling with a kiss is my favorite thing ever! Loved this!

    According to Michele on March 14, 2024