Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us
Running back through the fire
When there’s nothing left to save
It’s like chasing the very last train when it’s too late
– Broken Strings, James Morrison and Nelly Furtado

---

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Lucky & Elizabeth’s Apartment: Kitchen

Elizabeth washed Cameron’s breakfast dishes and set the last one in the drying rack just as the front door open. She looked over to find Lucky, then immediately looked away as she remembered standing on the docks with Jason less than an hour ago.

It’s always you.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to erase the conversation, trying to forget the way he’d looked at her. He’d been guarded at first, but by the end—he’d let her in again.

And she’d been so pathetically happy to see it, to know it was still there—that maybe she hadn’t ruined everything—

“Elizabeth?”

“Hey.” Elizabeth’s voice faltered, and she cleared her throat, tried again. “Hey. I didn’t expect to see you.”

“Yeah, I went to the station to sign some paperwork.” Lucky grimaced as he pulled out a bottle of beer from the fridge. “I have a rehab session in a little bit.”

Elizabeth looked at the beer bottle with some distaste—he was drinking more and more, she thought. Maybe because Dr. Cook hadn’t wanted to renew his pain prescription the last time they’d been at the hospital. But she said nothing.

It wasn’t a fight she wanted to have right now.

“And then you have group, right?” Elizabeth added when Lucky didn’t go on. “You could…” She took a deep breath. She had promised herself and Lucky that she would try to make things easier for him. “I can try to arrange my break if you wanted to stop by GH. We could get dinner at the cafeteria. I know the food is terrible—”

“No, that’s fine. I’d rather come home and sleep.” Lucky left the kitchen and let himself fall heavily on the couch, his wince not nearly as bad as it might have been a week ago. He was starting—finally—to heal.

“Yeah, okay.” Tucking her hair behind her ears, Elizabeth smiled nervously and sat on the other side of the sofa. “Um, this is my last night shift. I thought that maybe we could take Cameron to the spring carnival on Saturday. Morgan is going to spend the night—”

Lucky smirked, a bitter expression as he set the bottle down and reached for the TV Guide. “Really? You think I should be walking around, chasing a pair of two-year-olds?”

“No, I—” Elizabeth shook her head. “I guess not. Sorry. I didn’t think. I could bring something home. Maybe some ribs—”

“Jesse and Maxie brought ribs last night.” Lucky flipped through the magazine. “You were at work. Again.”

“Oh.” Elizabeth pressed her lips together, tried to count to ten. “I thought they were going to come over with—I just thought that was something we were going to do together—”

“Jesse doesn’t like you much right now,” Lucky said without any inflection. “And after that last time at my dad’s club, I figured you’d want a break from him.” He frowned at her. “Or was I wrong?”

She took a deep breath. “You’re not. I wish you’d have talked to him, but fine. I just—I don’t know what you want from me, Lucky. I keep trying to plan things for us to do together—and you just don’t—you don’t want to do anything—”

“Oh, don’t be like that. I’ve been tired. Between therapy and learning the computer software for my new desk job,” Lucky retorted, “when do I have time?” He huffed. “And we tried doing something together. You stormed out.”

Elizabeth sighed. Two weeks of anger management probably weren’t going to perform miracles, but she’d hoped something would change. “Did you talk to your group leader about a meeting that I could go to? I know they have ones for couples—”

“No, and I told you, I don’t want you there.” Lucky shoved himself to his feet, grabbed his beer bottle, and started for the kitchen. “What do you even need to go for?”

“To—” Elizabeth frowned, following him. “To just…talk. You don’t think it might help—”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake—” Lucky whirled, then grimaced as he turned too quickly for his back. “Christ, Elizabeth, can’t I have a minute’s of peace with you banging me over the head? I’m working on it. I’m going to the stupid anger management. I haven’t pushed you. I haven’t called you names.”

She swallowed the snarky response that had sprung to her lips and tried again. “No, you haven’t. But we’re still not really talking. It feels like you blame me—”

“Of course, I blame you. Who the hell else am I supposed to blame?” Lucky demanded. He tossed the empty beer bottle into the trash can and pushed past her back to the kitchen. She stumbled back slightly into the fridge.

“Lucky—”

“You didn’t shove your heel in my spine, no, but you’re the fucking reason Manny Ruiz kidnapped me, aren’t you?” Lucky shook his head, reaching for his keys. “And he only kidnapped you because of Jason—”

“We’ve been through this—” Elizabeth threw up her hands in frustration. “He was already targeting me—”

“But he didn’t make a move until you got messed up with Jason Morgan,” Lucky cut in. “He probably saw a good chance to irritate Jason. I was just collateral fucking damage. Stop trying to pretend this isn’t your fault.”

“You—” She hugged herself, feeling a bitter chill crawl up her back. “You told me in the hospital you understood it wasn’t—”

“Yeah, well, I was—” Lucky scowled. “I was screwed up on pain meds, and I was ashamed of how I’d treated you. You…had an affair. Okay? And I’m still angry about it. I get to be fucking angry, Elizabeth. I shouldn’t put my hands on you, fine. But don’t pretend you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.”

The denial was on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t make the words leave her throat. Because of course, Lucky was right. Hadn’t she and Jason kissed right here in this room a month earlier? Hadn’t she all but begged Jason to take the decision out of her hands?

“At least you’re not fucking denying it anymore,” Lucky muttered, turning away to go through the mail on the side table. “Neither one of us is innocent, Elizabeth. We both messed things up.”

“Okay,” Elizabeth said slowly to his back. “So I’m asking you if you want to make it better. Because storming around, not talking to each other—that’s not going to solve anything. I think we need to talk to someone—”

“You talk to someone,” Lucky interrupted. “I’m already talked out—”

“But—”

“Jesus Christ leave me alone!” he finally exploded, turning around to face her, his arms raising as if to grab her shoulders.

He stopped, his hands freezing in mid-air. Then his fingers curled into fists. He stared at them as her stomach iced over.

Slowly, Lucky let his hands fall to his side. “You need to leave me alone when I’m like this,” he said flatly. “This is always how it starts. You never know when to stop.”

Shaken, Elizabeth nodded, stepped back. “I have to go to work. I’ll—I’ll see you tomorrow.” She edged around him, took her bag off the hook by the door, and left.

Greystone Manor: Living Room

Jason strode into the room as Sonny poured himself a bourbon. “Mateo is open to a meeting. Says he’s having issues with some younger cousins and isn’t opposed to us making an example of some of them.”

“Good, good. Set it up.” Sonny hesitated, then offered Jason a drink. “Mike, ah, told me after you left that Elizabeth had gone to the docks. You didn’t, ah, run into her, did you?”

Jason shook his head at the offer of liquor, then frowned. “What? Why?” He furrowed his brow. “And why didn’t you call me?”

If Sonny or Mike had warned him—he wouldn’t have taken those stairs. Or maybe he would have. He’d been able to stay away from Elizabeth for the last month, but if he’d known she was that close, sure to be alone—

He shook his head, shoving it out of his head. It didn’t matter what Elizabeth had said on the docks.

It’s always you.

It was never him. It didn’t matter why she chose Lucky Spencer time after time. She did. And this was the last time he was going to let himself wonder or worry about it. He couldn’t do it anymore.

“So you did see her,” Sonny said. He sat in the armchair. “I thought about warning you, but I also…” he sighed, swirling the deep, dark brown liquor in the tumbler and staring down at it. “I remember staying away from a woman I cared about and running into her when we didn’t plan it. It made it easier.”

“Did it?” Jason asked flatly. “Which woman was that? Brenda? Carly? Sam?”

Sonny looked up at him sourly. “All of the above, to be honest. But I was thinking about Brenda. Jason—”

“I saw her. She thanked me for Cameron’s birthday gift. That was it. It’s nothing, Sonny. I’ll call Mateo and get the meeting set up—”

“Jase, I know you’re upset she stayed with Lucky after everything that happened—”

“I’m not upset—” Jason scowled, turning to find Sonny climbing back to his feet. “She always stays. I’m not even that surprised.”

“My mother always stayed with Deke,” Sonny murmured. Jason blinked, looked at him oddly. “It’s not the same, I know you’d say, but it’s not that different. Deke was verbally abusive first, but my mother didn’t leave him when he’d scream at her. She’d just tell me he had a stressful job, that he took care of us—that when he wasn’t angry, he was good to her.”

Jason exhaled slowly. “Sonny—”

“I didn’t really understand it,” Sonny continued. “I mean, I know I never treated any of the women I was with right, but I don’t think I ever set out to hurt someone.” He shook his head, took another ship of his drink. “Until Carly. She and I never used our fists, but we tore each other to shreds in other ways, Jase. And we both turned away from people who were probably better for us.”

At Jason’s raised eyebrow, Sonny shook his head. “Not Sam. Alexis. Alexis expected too much of me. It was easier with Carly. Even when I was miserable.”

“Why?” Jason demanded. “Why choose to stay miserable than be happy?”

“Because misery is familiar. You get comfortable in it, understand how to breathe in it,” Sonny said. “Alexis was my best friend. We never got that back after all of that, you know? I ruined it by taking a chance and not being able to hold to it. We can barely stand in the same room together because of it.”

He was quiet for a long moment, pondering. “I didn’t know how to be the man that could make Alexis happy, but I knew how to be the man Carly hated.”

Sonny sighed again. “But going out into the unknown with someone who really matters—it’s terrifying, Jase. Some people can never take the leap.” He shrugged and went over to the minibar to refill his drink. “She stayed with Lucky because he’s the devil she knows. And maybe, if she’s like my mother, the devil she thinks she deserves.”

“That still doesn’t change the fact that she stayed.” But now Jason felt uncomfortable with that statement. Because there was truth to what Sonny was saying. The idea that Elizabeth had already tried to take a chance with him and Jason had let her down—

“No. But he’s still the devil,” Sonny said. “She’s scared, Jason. I don’t know what happened when you saw her on the docks, and I know you won’t tell me. But I’m asking you to think about how she looked and what she said.”

“What about it?”

“I’m worried about her,” Sonny admitted. “I saw the way Lucky exploded at the warehouse after the kidnapping, and I’ve heard the rumors about what happened at the hospital. That kind of rage—I never would have expected it of the boy I knew, but—” He grimaced, looking down at his drink. “But little boys grow up, and I don’t know or like the man nearly as much.”

Jason hesitated. He remembered now the way Lucky had looked when he’d first come home—when he’d attacked Jason with a knife. He knew how that Lucky had been under the effect of the Cassadine’s brainwashing, but Jason had worried about Elizabeth’s safety then.

Should he worry now?

“She’d tell me if—” Jason closed his mouth. Would she? “What am I supposed to do?”

“Be there if and when she calls. And pay attention—because she might not be able to dial the phone.” Sonny held out a second tumbler again. “You sure you don’t want that drink?”

General Hospital: Break Room

Elizabeth winced at the taste of the bitter, too strong coffee as she brought the styrofoam cup to her lips. “Seriously, Patrick. You’re supposed to be one of the best surgeons in the state. Can’t you pull rank and get us a coffee maker from this century?”

“I tried,” Patrick muttered darkly. “Alan has this thing about the struggle.” He set his vending machine sandwich down at the table and sat across from her. “I hate the night shift. Robin is out, having a good time at the bar while I’m here, toiling away in the darkness—”

“I couldn’t have gone even if I weren’t working,” Elizabeth said, with a shrug, “but I do miss tucking in Cam. He likes to sing the Spiderman song. And he’s not old enough to know I’m pretty tone-deaf.”

“Enjoy it while you can. My mother—” Patrick sighed, a wistful smile crossing his face. “She sounded like a cat screeching mostly. My dad can really sing, and he’d be out in the yard, belting one out, and she’d join in—” He laughed at the memory. “Man, it used to piss him off. She did it on purpose.”

“That sounds like a sweet memory. How long has she been gone?”

“About ten years,” Patrick said. He picked at the sandwich. “Dad was always an alcoholic, but functional, you know? Someone who knew how to play the game. He stopped pretending anything else mattered when she died.” He shook his head. “I never understood how you could give up your entire life because you lost someone. I knew he loved her, but…”

“It shakes you to lose someone you’d planned forever with,” Elizabeth murmured. “Your world shatters into a million little pieces. You can’t ever put it back together the right away. The pieces don’t fit together. There’s always something missing.”

Patrick nodded. “Robin said something about a fire when you were a teenager. Lucky being gone for a year. Something with the Cassadines. That must have been rough.”

“It was, but we got a miracle. He’d been kidnapped, and he came home to us.” But her smile felt false.

“Yeah, a real miracle.” Patrick wiped his hands, shoved aside his makeshift dinner. “Listen, Elizabeth, I know I said I wouldn’t get involved—”

“Did you?” Elizabeth pursed her lips. “I don’t remember that.”

“And it’s not like Robin, and I are talking behind your back. We’re just—” He focused his dark brown eyes on her. “We’re worried. We saw the bruises. Before the kidnapping. And I saw the way he treated you. I know Robin took photos. She won’t tell me anything else—”

“She…” Elizabeth licked her lips. “She didn’t tell you about the conversation we had before Lucky came home?”

You think you deserve this. That you had this coming. That even though you know better, that you almost understand why Lucky did what he did. After all, he saw the truth, didn’t he?

“She said she’d talked to you. She hoped you’d tell someone else who might be able to convince you to leave, but she didn’t think you would. And we both agreed we wouldn’t tell each other anything you said to us. Because you needed to trust us.”

Her throat thickened, and Elizabeth looked down into her mud-brown coffee, blinking away tears. “I—I do.”

“Okay. Then answer me honestly—are you okay?”

Elizabeth closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and looked at him. “No. But I’m trying to be.”

“Okay,” Patrick repeated. “He hasn’t…it hasn’t happened again?”

“N-No. He’s going to anger management.” She smiled faintly. “You and Robin should do more talking because she asked the same question. I guess she’s worried. He goes Tuesday and Thursdays. He’s been going for two weeks.”

“Well, I guess that’s something.” Patrick sighed. “I just—”

“I broke our deal,” Elizabeth said in a rush of words—words she hadn’t even known she was going to say. “I did it. He promised me he’d go to counseling, and I promised him Jason was gone.”

Patrick grimaced. “I had to ask,” he muttered to himself. “Elizabeth—”

“I didn’t—nothing happened,” Elizabeth added quickly. “But I saw him on the docks, and I stopped him. He didn’t come to me. I saw him, and I just—” She pressed her fingers to her lips. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. You don’t need any of this.”

“No,” Patrick said, “but you obviously need to say it, and who the hell am I going to tell?” He reached forward, took her hands in his, drawing them away from her face. “Elizabeth.”

“I did it. I have an affair with Jason. Not physically—except, yes, I did. We kissed. A few times—” She cleared her throat. “And if he’d asked me to leave Lucky, I think—I think I might have.”

“But he didn’t.”

“I asked him to,” Elizabeth confessed in a soft voice. “Sort of. We have this—I don’t know. It’s this thing we kept saying to each other. Sam asked him if he was still in love with me. He told her he didn’t know. And she asked if I was in love with him, and he said he’d never asked me. I told him—I said if you ask, I’ll tell you.”

“And he didn’t ask,” Patrick added when Elizabeth said nothing. “So, you didn’t tell him.”

“Every time I see him, I think this time he’ll do it, this time he’ll ask—”

“Why does he have to?” her friend asked with more gentleness than she’d expected from him. “Why can’t you just tell him?”

“Because—” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Because I can’t. If I say it, you can’t take it back.”

Patrick just stared at her. “Okay, I don’t get it. Why would you take it back?”

“I—” Elizabeth drew away abruptly, shoving herself to her feet. “It doesn’t matter. I’m married. And I’m breaking the deal. I’m wrong here. Lucky—it’s not perfect, but he’s doing what I asked him to. It’s just—” She sighed. “We’re broken. No matter what we do, it can’t be fixed.”

“Elizabeth—”

“Tonight, I was trying to think of things we could do together, and he kept shooting me down.” She bit her lip. “It’s like he can tell I’m just going through the motions, and he gets angry—”

“Does he?” Patrick asked flatly.

“N-Not like that. I wouldn’t be there if it was, but—” She sighed. “I said from the beginning, I couldn’t stay forever, and I just told Luke that I can’t stay. But I don’t know what I’m waiting for. I don’t know what’s going to change—”

She paused, pressed her lips together. “I think I thought he’d go to counseling, and it would be a switch. Like—” She looked at him. “He’d come home, and he’d look at me, and he’d be the boy I loved again. Or he’d be, at least, the man that proposed to me. The one I promised to love forever. Because I could live with that. I could make that work—”

“And that is bullshit,” Patrick told her. “Because you still wouldn’t love him.”

She sighed, looking at him but said nothing.

“Something is broken,” he said, echoing her earlier. “The boy he was, the man you married, he’s never coming home again, Elizabeth. He’s gone. Because no matter how much he changes or works, he will always be the man who abused you.”

She closed her eyes. “I know. I know that—”

“I’ve never been in love before,” he told her. He stood. “Never even tried it before Robin. But I swear to God, the second it makes me as miserable as you look right now, I’d walk. You’re not doing either of you any good. No one is happy in this situation. You think Lucky is happy?”

“I—” Elizabeth furrowed her brow. “No, but—”

“You think you’re doing him a favor by making yourself miserable and staying? You think he doesn’t see that you’re not in love with him? And that part is your fault, Elizabeth. Because you stayed with a man you don’t love, threw away the one you do, and now you’re torturing yourself trying to make sense of it. You can’t. You know that.”

“I—” Her voice trembled. “Patrick—”

“I’m just—I don’t get it, Elizabeth. Is this is love? Because if it is, then why the hell do you want it? Why would anyone?”

“For better or worse,” she breathed after a long moment. “I made a promise. It matters. I had to try—”

“Did it work?” Patrick asked her.

She sighed. “No. No, it didn’t.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

“I—” Elizabeth paused. “He’ll be back at the PCPD full-time next week on desk duty. I promised Luke I’d stick until at least then.”

Patrick muttered, but she put a hand over his clenched fist. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know, Patrick. I already know it’s over. I think I’m just scared to take the final step, you know? Because I’m afraid—”

She bit her lip. “He did everything I asked him, too. He went to counseling. He’s trying, and I guess—I feel guilty. Because I’m not sure if I tried. I think I meant to. I know I tried to do things together, but the last few times, he refused — and I was relieved.”

“Elizabeth—”

“My marriage is over,” Elizabeth said. “But I think I’m afraid of what happens next.”

“If you want me in the room when you tell him—if you just want someone—” Patrick arched his brows. “All you need to do is ask.”

“Thank you.” She offered him a smile. “For everything. I know you’re new at this friend thing, but you’re doing a pretty good job.”

Kelly’s: Kitchen

Maxie Jones grimaced as she untied her apron and tossed it on the counter. “How did I get talked into working at this pit?” she demanded, spinning to face her boyfriend with her hands on her hips.

“Well, you wracked up like fifteen grand in credit card debt your first semester at PCU,” Jesse reminded her with a shrug. He tossed her the jacket she’d hung on the rung. “Can we get out of here?”

“Yeah, sure.” Maxie frowned as she followed him back into the diner. “Just let me finish dealing with my receipts—”

“Maxie—”

“Chill out. It’ll take like five seconds. Sit right there,” she said, nodding at the counter, “and tell me what crawled up your ass.” She arched a finely plucked brow. “Or that ass is going home alone.”

“I just—” He shook his head. “Seeing Lucky last night at the apartment, struggling to deal with the rehab. He came into train on the office software today. He’s doing everything right, you know? And that—” He scowled. “That bitch isn’t even bothering to appreciate it.”

Maxie frowned, set the pile of receipts down. “What? What are you talking about? Liz wasn’t even home last night—she was working—” And she was really not into this side of him. He’d been bitchy about Elizabeth for weeks. Sure — she’d screwed around on her husband, but that was Lucky and Elizabeth’s business.

“Yeah. Again. She’s never around when I go to see Lucky. And today?” He shook his head with disgust. “I saw her on the docks with Jason Morgan again.”

His voice was a bit too loud on that last one, and Maxie saw a few heads at another table glance in their direction. “Jesse—”

“I didn’t hear what they said,” Jesse continued, “but I saw the way they were looking at each other. You know?”

“I do, but—”

“And he touched her face—you don’t touch a married woman—anyone touches your face like that, I’ll rip their fucking arm off—”

“Jesse—” Maxie liked gossip as much as anyone, but there was a difference between gossip and making a scene. Bobbie had told her if she caused one more scene in Kelly’s, she’d have to let her go. Maxie hated this job, but she needed the money. “Calm down—”

“It’s just—isn’t Lucky dealing with enough? This is her fault, isn’t it?”

“I guess—”

Jesse frowned at her. “What do you mean, you guess? If she’d stayed away from Morgan, this never would have happened.”

“I mean, I guess, maybe that’s technically true.” Uncomfortable, Maxie shifted. “In one of my classes, though, we talked about victim-blaming, and like Mac said Manny had a long list of missing women around him—like maybe he really did target Elizabeth—”

“Please. Who is going to target Elizabeth Spencer out of all the other women in this town?” Jesse rolled his eyes. “I mean, do you really think that?”

Maxie bit her lip. “I don’t know. It makes it more Jason’s fault. Elizabeth—” When Jesse’s eyes flashed, she shook her head. “No, no, I agree with you, Jesse. I’m just saying. It’s not just her fault, okay?”

“No, it’s not. But it’s not Lucky’s, and he’s the only one suffering.”

“No, I know. It sucks.” And this Maxie did agree about. She didn’t feel one way or another about Elizabeth Webber, but Jesse did. And he seemed to be irritated that she didn’t. So she forced herself to scowl. “I mean, it’s kind of trashy of her to, like, still be sleeping with the guy that nearly got her husband killed.”

“Right!” Jesse slapped his hand on the counter, and a patron at the end jumped. “Do you think Lucky knows?”

“Um, I don’t know—”

“I should tell him.” Jesse fished out his phone. “He’s at a stupid counseling session, did you know that? That bitch had the nerve to demand he go to marital counseling.”

“Really?” Maxie furrowed her brow. “They’re in marriage counseling? Tonight? Because I thought Robin told me she was going to Jake’s with Emily. She invited me, but I had to work, and I asked about Elizabeth, and Robin said she had to work the night shift—”

“Probably a lie. He’s going to counseling alone then. He’s the one trying to save their marriage, and she’s probably off rolling in the sheets—” He scrolled down to Lucky’s number.

This was a side of Jesse that Maxie didn’t entirely like. He was just so angry. And he’d been mad at Elizabeth since the night of the kidnapping. She’d enjoyed the gossip around it at first, but it had been weeks ago. Wasn’t it time to move on? Jesse was taking this so personally—like he was married to Elizabeth.

“Jesse, why does this bother you so much?”

“He’s a brother in blue, Maxie. Come on! He deserves better than some whore who ruined his life and cheated on him with a hitman.” Jesse rolled his eyes.

“Enforcer,” Maxie corrected without thinking, the way she had grown up listening to Robin do the same when Mac had made the same mistake. Jesse glared at her. “Sorry, sorry. But there’s a difference, and—” When Jesse did not look amused, she sighed. “That’s not important.”

“Damn right, it’s not.” Jesse got off the stool and started for the alley as he got Lucky’s voice mail. “Hey, man, it’s Jesse. Look, I saw something on the docks you should know about…”

“Do you think it’s true?” the lady at the end of the counter asked as Maxie turned back to her receipts.

“Huh, what?” Maxie blinked. “What?”

“Elizabeth Spencer. Still having that affair.” The woman sighed, propping her head on her chin. “I know she shouldn’t, but there’s something about a bad boy.”

Maxie narrowed her eyes. Her mother had had a taste for the bad boy. Had destroyed a perfectly good marriage to chase after Luke Spencer. “There’s something about the marriage vows, too,” she snapped. “It’d be nice if Elizabeth remembered that.”

“Of course.” The woman smiled uneasily. “Of course. It’s all so terrible.” Her phone rang. “Oh, Gracie—oh, you’ll never believe what I just heard…”

Damn it, Maxie thought as the woman proceeded to tell her friend everything she and Jesse had said to each other. She looked out the diner uneasily as she realized a lot of the patrons were looking at her, then whispering. Oh, man—

Well. Maxie squared her shoulders. If Elizabeth didn’t want people talking about her, she should stop having her affairs in public.

Jake’s: Bar

Robin laughed as she and Emily stumbled through the door of their second bar that evening. “How come you didn’t tell me that Club 101 is owned by Carly?”

“In my defense,” Emily said as she leaned over to prop up the third member of their group, Nadine Crowell, who had enjoyed herself too much at the first bar, “I didn’t know she’d bought back into the club.”

“I did,” Lainey Winters, a psychiatrist at the hospital, volunteered from the back of their group. “But I forgot that it mattered.”

“Well, at least we got to drink,” Kelly Lee declared as she pushed forward and scanned the bar for a table. “We’ll get the table,” she told Robin. “You and Em are the only ones not slurring your words. Go get the drinks.”

“Pretty sure that’s not how that works,” Robin complained, but the two of them peeled off from the pack and headed for the bar. She stopped short as she and Emily came closer to the men slouched over drinks. “Em—”

“What?” Emily waved the smoke away from her face. She always forgot how dirty this place was—

“Isn’t that Lucky—”

“What, no, of course—” Emily closed her mouth as she followed Robin’s arm and saw the familiar silhouette of her childhood best friend. “It can’t be.” She looked down at her watch. “It’s nine. He’s supposed to be at anger management.”

“Where did Elizabeth say he was going?”

“He found a group meeting at Mercy,” Emily murmured. “It was for people worked late—” She sighed. “Give me a second, I want to see if I can—” Emily held up her hand and was relieved to see the bartender serving that night was Coleman. He’d remember her from her previous visits. She caught his eye and gave him a nod—

Coleman extricated himself from his customers, grinning as he joined them. “Well, if it’s not my favorite bar fighter,” he said with a laugh. “You here to wreck my place again, kiddo?”

“No, we’re just out for some drinks. But, um…” Emily gestured at Lucky. “Is this his first time here?”

Coleman followed her gaze. “Spencer? Nah. He’s a regular. Since he got out of the hospital. Every Tuesday and Thursday. You need anything? I’ll send over some drinks for you, girls.” He touched her shoulder, then left them.

Emily and Robin exchanged a troubled look, but Emily frowned, realizing that Robin didn’t just look annoyed—she looked upset. “Robin, is there something I should know?”

“I—” Robin shook her head. “Not from me. But Elizabeth needs—she needs to know Lucky isn’t going to counseling. He promised her.”

“I—I know that.” Emily hesitated. “I’ll catch her tomorrow before the end of her shift. And before my begins.” She managed a weak smile. “I don’t feel much like drinking anymore.”

“Me either, but I’m sure the others will take our share,” Robin said dryly as they returned to their table. Emily put away Lucky’s presence but kept an eye on him for the next few hours. He left around midnight without even once realizing she was there.

There was definitely something going on that she didn’t understand, and Emily was determined to get to the bottom of it.

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